Slashdot Mirror
Raleigh Councilman Offers Child Naming Rights To Google
Anonymous Meoward writes "In what may be the weirdest perk proposed by a municipal authority to entice business, city councilman Bonner Gaylord has offered to name his unborn children Sergey and Larry, after the founders of Google. All he wants in return is the search giant to build its proposed high-speed fiber-optic network in Raleigh."
So his kid may have to go through life with an arbitrarily bad name, because it will help this guy's career and/or home town?
I wonder what other kinds of crap this guy is going to pull over the next 18 years. Poor kid.
Guh.....what? I'm dumbfounded by this.
Maybe he's internet-starved. You would sell your mother and all your future generations for some sweet bandwidth ;)
WTF am I doing replying to an AC at 5 A.M on a Friday night?
A little late in the game for this stunt. But Raleigh would be a good city for Google to test out their fiber.
Srsly??
city councilman Bonner Gaylord has offered to name his unborn children Sergey and Larry, after the founders of Google
I'll do better than that. If Google builds a high-speed fiber-optic network to my apartment block, I will create an army of clones, each platoon named after either Sergey or Larry.
8 of 13 people found this answer helpful. Did you?
Is it still ok to laugh at his name?
"Boner" Gaylford. Enough said.
Is this including its soul? This guy is a politician that would do anything to get himself advanced in politics and it seems as if he would sell his first born to the devil if he could.
I feel a little bad about myself right now...this person's name makes me giggle. (Also, is this a little too close to April 1st to be true?)
FTFA:
RALEIGH, N.C. — Raleigh City Councilman Bonner Gaylord
Ok, please sit down and think about it. This guy's name is BONNER GAYLORD.
He's just trying to get back at his parents, by giving his kids horrible names. Bonner Gaylord. //Goes to check The Onion, to make sure the story wasn't pulled from there
WTF am I doing replying to an AC at 5 A.M on a Friday night?
If your father were named "Boner Gaylord" you would want someone outside the gene pool to name you too. Might as well be Google.
Hey Fermat! Howja get yer name? Look at that kid, Fermat! Fermat! Fermat!
This story is 3 days early.
But in return, you must give me your first born child.
If it were my company, and this guy proposed such a thing, the LAST thing I would do is consider his city. I would want to be at least several states away.
Someone get the butterfly net...
Sergey and Larry are perfectly normal names. Google is the most ethical multi-national ever. If I cared about namesakes, I'd consider Sergey or Larry for free. I'd avoid John and Maynard regardless.
That said, I hope google sends him a very nice letter respectfully thanking him for the deep complement, but explaining that they'll choose the cities based upon other various factors, like their potential influence upon other cities.
The Christian religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world. -- Bertrand Russell
And then, 30 years later, his children would both end up working at google and we will have come full circle.
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
The stunts being done by these cities and their officials border on begging. I mean, sure it'd be cool to land the Google network, but c'mon man! Hold on to some dignity.
This has been an interesting example of the mindset of the politicians as opposed to normal people, though. Some politicians are making fools of themselves to try and attract Google's gaze. Would normal people even consider doing something like this? Of course not. Why would having a mayor diving in icy waters or naming a child after the Google guys convince them to move to your town?
For most politicians, begging and whoring themselves comes naturally. That's what's scary about this.
Ourselves or the fucking corporations? Have we sunk so low that we're offering our CHILDREN up to the gods of corporate benevolence?
And how much do you want to bet that along with the offer of surrendering his offspring's identity, there's an additional offer of either a hefty tax break, or even a free pass?
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.
Touching what men wants to do to download porn at high speed.
Have we sunk so low that we're offering our CHILDREN up to the gods of corporate benevolence?
If so, it's nothing new. Case in port: Espn Real.
I propose we attempt to embarrass this man to the fullest extent... by naming his child... Bonner Gaylord. Surely a funnier name has yet to be found.
This isn't the classic example of a bribe, but technically he is offering something arguably of value to the founders of Google in return for them causing Google to give him something that he wants. I assume the names Sergey and Larry are more valuable to Google's founders than Google itself, and he isn't offering to name his children Google, Adwords, or some other Google trademark.
I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person that I'm preaching to.
An article where a dude named Bonner Gaylord will name his children after the Google founders is just an excuse for an April first warm-up. Some people just can't wait to get started with the pranks.
keyboard not found! press any key to continue...
How does he guarantee that he will have any children ?
Many years ago, the town of Radium Hot Springs, New Mexico, offered to change their name to "Truth or Consequences" to win a prize from the TV show of the same name. They thought it would bring in business, and notoriety. It's still a pretty quiet town, though it does have an amusing name... especially when the abbreviation (T or C) is pronounced as a word.
Turok Gaylord?
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Every other day there is a story describing how yet another b/w starved city/town is 'begging' google in an innovative way. Is begging the defining characteristic of our generation? Maybe, if someone can highlight a story wherein a town/city highlights how they can stand up on their feet with the extra b/w (not a bplan!), instead of a crazy marketing gimmick, google might actually initiate some action and live upto their motto of 'do no evil'. (Note that it doesn't necessarily mean 'do good')
The pen is mightier than the sword. The keyboard is mightier than the pen.
If you look on the bright side, it prevents the kid from being called Bonner Junior (B.J. Gaylord).
Was I the only one who read "child naming rights" and then skimmed straight to "Sergey And Larry", thinking that he was in fact going to name his next kid "Sergey And Larry Gaylord"?
What a prize. Anyway, I imagine the next article is going to read something like this:
"Raleigh Councilman's Child Production Rights Revoked By Upset Wife"
I think this guy's counting on "don't be evil." Anyway, Sergey and Larry aren't bad names. I think he might withdraw the offer if Google counters with a demand for "Google" and "Froogle."
When all you have is an axe, everything looks like a grindstone.
I can't help but to think of the book Jennifer Governement by Max Berry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Government).
Dystopian sci-fi should remain well... fiction.
We've always been at war with Eurasia.
...for something we should already have.
If a man can effectively sell the names of his children, names that the children will be basically forced to keep for their entire lives... Names which could impact their entire development...
Why can't two consenting adults exchange currency, in a private transaction, for the purpose of engaging in anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes of consensual sex?
Or how about for some baseball tickets?
I'd build the damn thing in Raleigh if he didn't name his children after me
Donte Alistair Anderson Roberts - hi son!
Karma: Chameleon
I'd have taken my wife's last name. Hard to be worse that Gaylord...
Well, it got the guy a mention on /. What more could anyone want?? Next, he'll want to change his name to Frist Psot
As if we needed any proof that politicians are willing to barter their family to advance their careers.
Why Sergey and Larry, let his children be named Google Gaylord , Microsoft Gaylord and why not Walmart Gaylord
Well, I don't know about the other two, but Microsoft Gaylord is already taken - it was the little known optional foppish Southern animated guide character the user could choose in Microsoft Bob.
...is for Google to tell Mr. Boner Gaylord to go bone his gay lord.
Seriously, even though his children will be teased anyway even offering this is wrong. Period.
Stop worshipping the rich. It will solve all of your problems.
-
The intelligence of parents is frequently overrated.
.
Voting up, Voting down - If I really gave a fuck about your approval or not, I'd come and ask you.