Why do mathematicians insist on using words that already have another meaning? "It is the complex case that is easier to deal with." "If it doesn't happen at a corner, but at an edge, it nonetheless happens at a corner."
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: "What sort of programmers work for other companies? They behaved badly and were unconcerned with appearances. Their hair was long and unkempt and their clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed out hospitality suites and they made rude noises during my presentation."
The manager said: "I should have never sent you to the conference. Those programmers live beyond the physical world. They consider life absurd, an accidental coincidence. They come and go without knowing limitations. Without a care, they live only for their programs. Why should they bother with social conventions?"
"They are alive within the Tao."
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule. If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
-- Bill Boquist
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.
-- Brooks Atkinson, "Once Around the Sun"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"Cheshire-Puss," she began, "would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't care much where--" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I've seen people with new children before, they go from ultra happy to looking like something out of a zombie film in about a week.
-- Alan Cox about Linus after his 2nd daughter
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?
-- Rich Rosen (Rabbi Valiel's paraphrase of famous quote
attributed to Rabbi Hillel.)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Real computer scientists despise the idea of actual hardware. Hardware has limitations, software doesn't. It's a real shame that Turing machines are so poor at I/O.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
-- Art Buchwald
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
It is a very humbling experience to make a multimillion-dollar mistake, but it is also very memorable. I vividly recall the night we decided how to organize the actual writing of external specifications for OS/360. The manager of architecture, the manager of control program implementation, and I were threshing out the plan, schedule, and division of responsibilities.
The architecture manager had 10 good men. He asserted that they could write the specifications and do it right. It would take ten months, three more than the schedule allowed.
The control program manager had 150 men. He asserted that they could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating; it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule. Futhermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling their thumbs for ten months.
To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time, but would also be three months late, and of much lower quality. I did, and it was. He was right on both counts. Moreover, the lack of conceptual integrity made the system far more costly to build and change, and I would estimate that it added a year to debugging time.
-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and bloody-mindedness.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that can't be measured in monetary terms.
Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to have that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came by subway." Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot should someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly understand his long delay.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
-- seen in a.sig somewhere
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and you had better be on speaking terms with it.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If just one piece of mail gets lost, well, they'll just think they forgot to send it. But if *two* pieces of mail get lost, hell, they'll just think the other guy hasn't gotten around to answering his mail. And if *fifty* pieces of mail get lost, can you imagine it, if *fifty* pieces of mail get lost, why they'll think someone *else* is broken! And if 1Gb of mail gets lost, they'll just *know* that Arpa [ucbarpa.berkeley.edu] is down and think it's a conspiracy to keep them from their God given right to receive Net Mail...
-- Casey Leedom
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Bozo is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who band together for fun and profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes on a tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a Bozo on the other side. It comes from the phrase vos otros, meaning others. They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish drunk clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William Bendix. Everybody tends to drift toward Bozoness. It has Oz in it. They mean well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable shoes. They like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time, which is all the time.
-- Firesign Theatre, "If Bees Lived Inside Your Head"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
It turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the system. From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine some of the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very sharp, probably not someone here on campus.
-- Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, in
Georgia Tech's campus newspaper after the Internet worm.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
-- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica." He said, "Do I know you?"
-- Steven Wright
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
None of our men are "experts." We have most unfortunately found it necessary to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
-- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
TIRED of calculating components of vectors? Displacements along direction of force getting you down? Well, now there's help. Try amazing "Dot-Product", the fast, easy way many professionals have used for years and is now available to YOU through this special offer. Three out of five engineering consultants recommend "Dot-Product" for their clients who use vector products. Mr. Gumbinowitz, mechanical engineer, in a hidden-camera interview...
"Dot-Product really works! Calculating Z-axis force components has
never been easier." Yes, you too can take advantage of the amazing properties of Dot-Product. Use it to calculate forces, velocities, displacements, and virtually any vector components. How much would you pay for it? But wait, it also calculates the work done in Joules, Ergs, and, yes, even BTU's. Divide Dot-Product by the magnitude of the vectors and it becomes an instant angle calculator! Now, how much would you pay? All this can be yours for the low, low price of $19.95!! But that's not all! If you order before midnight, you'll also get "Famous Numbers of Famous People" as a bonus gift, absolutely free! Yes, you'll get Avogadro's number, Planck's, Euler's, Boltzmann's, and many, many, more!! Call 1-800-DOT-6000. Operators are standing by. That number again... 1-800-DOT-6000. Supplies are limited, so act now. This offer is not available through stores and is void where prohibited by law.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
(Yes, that about sums it up.) "The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you."
(And I recommend not giving that school a dime...) "I simply can't say enough good things about him."
(What a screw-up.) "I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
(I can't tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.) "When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go a long way with his skills."
(We hoped he'd go as far as possible.) "You won't find many people like her."
(In fact, most people can't stand being around her.) "I cannot reccommend him too highly."
(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
felony in my presence.)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Keep your Eye on the Ball, Your Shoulder to the Wheel, Your Nose to the Grindstone, Your Feet on the Ground, Your Head on your Shoulders. Now... try to get something DONE!
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Price Wang's programmer was coding software. His fingers danced upon the keyboard. The program compiled without an error message, and the program ran like a gentle wind.
Excellent!" the Price exclaimed, "Your technique is faultless!"
"Technique?" said the programmer, turning from his terminal, "What I follow is the Tao -- beyond all technique. When I first began to program I would see before me the whole program in one mass. After three years I no longer saw this mass. Instead, I used subroutines. But now I see nothing. My whole being exists in a formless void. My senses are idle. My spirit, free to work without a plan, follows its own instinct. In short, my program writes itself. True, sometimes there are difficult problems. I see them coming, I slow down, I watch silently. Then I change a single line of code and the difficulties vanish like puffs of idle smoke. I then compile the program. I sit still and let the joy of the work fill my being. I close my eyes for a moment and then log off."
Price Wang said, "Would that all of my programmers were as wise!"
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself.
-- Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Slashdot Mirror
Why do mathematicians insist on using words that already have another
meaning? "It is the complex case that is easier to deal with." "If it
doesn't happen at a corner, but at an edge, it nonetheless happens at a
corner."
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software
conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: "What sort
of programmers work for other companies? They behaved badly and were
unconcerned with appearances. Their hair was long and unkempt and their
clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed out hospitality suites and they
made rude noises during my presentation."
The manager said: "I should have never sent you to the conference.
Those programmers live beyond the physical world. They consider life absurd,
an accidental coincidence. They come and go without knowing limitations.
Without a care, they live only for their programs. Why should they bother
with social conventions?"
"They are alive within the Tao."
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there
is an exception to every rule. If we accept "For every rule there is an
exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception
after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of
exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
-- Bill Boquist
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital
and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting
each other's throat.
-- Brooks Atkinson, "Once Around the Sun"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"Cheshire-Puss," she began, "would you tell me, please, which way I
ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't care much where--" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I've seen people with new children before, they go from ultra happy to
looking like something out of a zombie film in about a week.
-- Alan Cox about Linus after his 2nd daughter
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know,
if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not
now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe
like the Rolling Stones?
-- Rich Rosen (Rabbi Valiel's paraphrase of famous quote
attributed to Rabbi Hillel.)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Real computer scientists despise the idea of actual hardware. Hardware has
limitations, software doesn't. It's a real shame that Turing machines are
so poor at I/O.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be.
Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in
automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
-- Art Buchwald
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
It is a very humbling experience to make a multimillion-dollar mistake, but
it is also very memorable. I vividly recall the night we decided how to
organize the actual writing of external specifications for OS/360. The
manager of architecture, the manager of control program implementation, and
I were threshing out the plan, schedule, and division of responsibilities.
The architecture manager had 10 good men. He asserted that they
could write the specifications and do it right. It would take ten months,
three more than the schedule allowed.
The control program manager had 150 men. He asserted that they
could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;
it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.
Futhermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
their thumbs for ten months.
To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,
but would also be three months late, and of much lower quality. I did, and
it was. He was right on both counts. Moreover, the lack of conceptual
integrity made the system far more costly to build and change, and I would
estimate that it added a year to debugging time.
-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four
forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and
bloody-mindedness.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.
Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to
have that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came
by subway." Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot
should someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and .sig somewhere
quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
-- seen in a
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around.
Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's
as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for
you'll see a lot of it and you had better be on speaking terms with it.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If just one piece of mail gets lost, well, they'll just think they forgot ...
to send it. But if *two* pieces of mail get lost, hell, they'll just think
the other guy hasn't gotten around to answering his mail. And if *fifty*
pieces of mail get lost, can you imagine it, if *fifty* pieces of mail get
lost, why they'll think someone *else* is broken! And if 1Gb of mail gets
lost, they'll just *know* that Arpa [ucbarpa.berkeley.edu] is down and
think it's a conspiracy to keep them from their God given right to receive
Net Mail
-- Casey Leedom
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Bozo is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who band
together for fun and profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes on a
tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a Bozo
on the other side. It comes from the phrase vos otros, meaning others.
They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish drunk
clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William Bendix.
Everybody tends to drift toward Bozoness. It has Oz in it. They mean
well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable shoes. They
like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time,
which is all the time.
-- Firesign Theatre, "If Bees Lived Inside Your Head"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
It turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the
system. From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine
some of the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very
sharp, probably not someone here on campus.
-- Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, in
Georgia Tech's campus newspaper after the Internet worm.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and
those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
-- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I told my roommate,
"Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact replica." He said, "Do I know you?"
-- Steven Wright
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
None of our men are "experts." We have most unfortunately found it necessary
to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one
ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a
job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing
forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient
he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a
state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the
"expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
-- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
TIRED of calculating components of vectors? Displacements along direction of
force getting you down? Well, now there's help. Try amazing "Dot-Product",
the fast, easy way many professionals have used for years and is now available
to YOU through this special offer. Three out of five engineering consultants
recommend "Dot-Product" for their clients who use vector products. Mr.
Gumbinowitz, mechanical engineer, in a hidden-camera interview...
"Dot-Product really works! Calculating Z-axis force components has
never been easier."
Yes, you too can take advantage of the amazing properties of Dot-Product. Use
it to calculate forces, velocities, displacements, and virtually any vector
components. How much would you pay for it? But wait, it also calculates the
work done in Joules, Ergs, and, yes, even BTU's. Divide Dot-Product by the
magnitude of the vectors and it becomes an instant angle calculator! Now, how
much would you pay? All this can be yours for the low, low price of $19.95!!
But that's not all! If you order before midnight, you'll also get "Famous
Numbers of Famous People" as a bonus gift, absolutely free! Yes, you'll get
Avogadro's number, Planck's, Euler's, Boltzmann's, and many, many, more!!
Call 1-800-DOT-6000. Operators are standing by. That number again...
1-800-DOT-6000. Supplies are limited, so act now. This offer is not
available through stores and is void where prohibited by law.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
What they said:
What they meant:
"I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
(Yes, that about sums it up.)
"The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you."
(And I recommend not giving that school a dime...)
"I simply can't say enough good things about him."
(What a screw-up.)
"I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
(I can't tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.)
"When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go
a long way with his skills."
(We hoped he'd go as far as possible.)
"You won't find many people like her."
(In fact, most people can't stand being around her.)
"I cannot reccommend him too highly."
(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
felony in my presence.)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Keep your Eye on the Ball,
Your Shoulder to the Wheel,
Your Nose to the Grindstone,
Your Feet on the Ground,
Your Head on your Shoulders.
Now... try to get something DONE!
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Price Wang's programmer was coding software. His fingers danced upon
the keyboard. The program compiled without an error message, and the program
ran like a gentle wind.
Excellent!" the Price exclaimed, "Your technique is faultless!"
"Technique?" said the programmer, turning from his terminal, "What I
follow is the Tao -- beyond all technique. When I first began to program I
would see before me the whole program in one mass. After three years I no
longer saw this mass. Instead, I used subroutines. But now I see nothing.
My whole being exists in a formless void. My senses are idle. My spirit,
free to work without a plan, follows its own instinct. In short, my program
writes itself. True, sometimes there are difficult problems. I see them
coming, I slow down, I watch silently. Then I change a single line of code
and the difficulties vanish like puffs of idle smoke. I then compile the
program. I sit still and let the joy of the work fill my being. I close my
eyes for a moment and then log off."
Price Wang said, "Would that all of my programmers were as wise!"
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a
digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top
of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean
the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself.
-- Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...