I am very sick of these one liners which mention a random word or two, in the desperate hope that those will be read as facts or some educated insight into the subject matter.
The relation of Lisa and Mac development to Xerox boils down to two (count them 2) trips that Apple engineers made to Xerox PARC in 1979 for Smalltalk technology demonstration (a common practice) by Xerox after Apple signed an agreement with them that allowed Xerox to buy $1 million worth of Apple stock at throw-away pre-IPO price (their investment was up almost 1800% just a year later on IPO). The two visits by Apple including nothing more than a technology demonstration. There was no code provided or stolen. Yes Apple was inspired by Xerox's Alto, you will never find any Apple employee who does not give Xerox due credit for their technology and vision. However having said that both Lisa and the Mac were far cry the technology demo that Smalltalk was. Xerox's Smalltalk did not have a file finder, drag and drop file manipulation, file types, imaging and windowing model, clipboard, pull-down menus, self redrawing windows, control panels, and a zillion other things that made the commerically viable operating System that embodied the Lisa and the Mac.
The Xerox PARC director at the time had this to say, "Just like the Russians and the A-bomb, they developed it very quickly once they knew it was doable." Apple independently developed the first GUI operating system and also invented most (some by Xerox) of the underlying concept and technologies. Yes they were inspired by the Xerox's Smalltalk but an inspiration does take away from all the hard-work and brilliance of the Apple Engineers who poured their hearts and souls into Lisa and the Mac. If you have doubts about that just ask the father of modern physics.
Now in contrast Microsoft being a future developer for the Lisa/Mac had the actual source code from Apple which they blatantly STOLE. You should read up on a subject before posting sweet nothings. These might help:
Microsoft's founding principle, "Steal first, ask questions later". There are probably thousands of examples of this principle at work, but here is a sampler or two:
Apple is like a guy who, saw someone else who built a wooden raft for the first time but never actually tried it on water, and said, hey this is a good idea let me build my own version. Only they built a proper boat with a sail that could and for the first time did carry many people on water. Microsoft is like another guy who saw Apple's Sail boat and said hey this is a good idea, let me steal one. They stole it repainted it and sold it as their own.
BIG DIFFERENCE!
AAC (protected AAC) playback on cellphones
on
No WMA for HP iPod
·
· Score: 0
I think there will be a lot of traction behind AAC (protected/unprotected) in the coming days. I just remembered the recent adoption of Quicktime by the no 1 and 2 (DoCoMo and KDDI) wireless service providers in Japan for Video/Audio playback. I think this implies that a large (and growing) percentage of over 60 million cellphone subscribers in Japan already have the ability to playback AAC audio content. And once Apple announces the ITMS for Japan it could easily (If Apple does not think that cellphones will eat into the iPod market) mean protected AAC with ability to buy Music directly from your phones (This will be big in Japan). A Lot of these same Quicktime enabled phone are being sold in Europe and Europe could follow the same pattern with the iTMS for Europe. If Apple plays this right Redmond could face their first major defeat in the platform wars. But call it Deja vu or whatever, I have this gut feeling that at the crunch time Apple will revert back to wanting to sell iPods rather than defeat WMA.
Well even if he meant non-PC products like the iPaq, I don't see a big hurdle in HP-Apple being able to add protected AAC playback support for such HP devices for complete compatibility.
This guy is completely full of sh!t, first he claims that HP iPod will support WMA based only on what some nobody told him at the CES. Even a novice observer of the industry would dismiss this as being completely hogwash and not acceptable to Apple. And then he goes on to claim that HPs integration strategy will break because of their choice of AAC, which I reckon is primarily due to a deficiency of fully functional neurons.
"Despite the fact that Linux is just code and can't WANT to be anything, I truly believe that it'd love to be a single-vendor, single-platform, sluggish half-proprietary OS with dwindling market share. Linux would love to throw away its impressively growing corporate takeup for that."
Well you got that sh!t down Einstein! So a piece of code that is not self aware does NOT want to be anything!!!! Brilliant! I would have never thought of that.
And single-vendor and single platform are a "bad" thing! Again what can I say to that except. Brilliant.
The corporate growth that you speak of is only in the cheap, server side adoption and NOT on the client-side. For the corporate desktop clients the MS sh!t still continues to dominate the market. And even if Linux did make strides on the coporate desktop as well. That, based on our experience with almost universal windoze adoption, must purely be because of the high quality of Linux! The corporate market would never adopt a sub-standard, hack job, of an operating system in their environment!! Why that is unheard of!
"It's no hassle to use a plethora of keyboard combos to make up for the patronising one-button mouse. Despite the fact that my hands have FIVE fingers, and multiple-buttons make Web browsing so much more pleasant, I prefer my computer to be treat me like a special-needs child."
Someday I might shoot someone for bringing this up. For the millionth time, if using keyboard combination confuses you buy a freakin gazillion button mouse!!!
"My non-techie friends drool over the transparency and scaling effects, even though UI research has shown that they add practically nothing to getting real work done. It feels like KDE 2 on a Pentium 200, and I can't change to a light and fast WM, but those drop-shadows must make me work so quickly!"
Again you dazzle us with you Brilliance. So you needed to refer to UI research material to figure out that aesthetic only features provide no functional advantage! Brilliant. I think you need to fund a research study to figure out why hanging art work on the office walls does not automatically reduce the software bug count by 50%! No these features are there because they are "aesthetically pleasing". You don't have to have a good looking wife/husband, but in general normal people would like to have one (You however may been an exception).
"OpenDarwin.org and its community of about 27 is surely not just a token gesture by Apple. Pretty much nobody uses pure Darwin, and all the crucial components of the system are closed and require me to spend money just to get major OS updates, but they're really helping the community somehow."
Well you get what you pay for. Apple has willingly and unwillingly contributed a lot to the community at large and without them half of the things you take for granted in computers today would not exist.
"My iBook was made by in Taiwan by AlphaTop and has design and build quality flaws (needing foam sheets jammed in to stop the common problem of the keyboard scratching the screen). But it's silvery and cost far more than an x86 laptop of better spec, so it must be much higher quality!"
Hmmnn, Let see what is more likely just going by simple logic:
1) A laptop designed by Apple (No# 1 in Customer Satisfaction among ALL computer hardware manufacturers) is of really bad quality.
2) A laptop assembled to be the cheapest by the cheapest assembler for some no name marketer with no reputation whatsoever to defend is of really bad quality.
And you go with 1..... Brilliant!!
Although there's truth in PPC being more elegant than x86, it's crushing that the top-of-the-range 1.5 GHz chip is slaughtered by the equivalent 3 GHz Pentium 4. However, Steve Jobs showed some vague Photoshop filter benchmarks at the last MacWorld, so being a leprotard, I'm convinced."
Wait a minute are you saying that elegance actually counts for something!! Why did you
From Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913):
Terrorism \Ter"ror*ism\, n. [Cf. F. terrorisme.]
The act of terrorizing, or state of being terrorized; a mode
of government by terror or intimidation. --Jefferson.
-----------------
From WordNet (r) 2.0:
terrorism
n : the calculated use of violence (or threat of violence)
against civilians in order to attain goals that are
political or religious or ideological in nature; this is
done through intimindation or coercion or instilling fear
[syn: act of terrorism, terrorist act]
The definition of terrorism does not preclude nation states from practicing it as a policy. In fact if you even remotely knew the history of the world, you would have known that majority of acts of terrorism have been and are being commited by nation states. Such acts are being commited today by India and Israel, who champion themselves as beacons of "democracy" (A pathetic farce if there ever was one). I should know I am a Kashmiri and I have seen 75,000 kashmiris killed by what is probably the largest occupying force in all of history (Some 800,000 Indian Armed forces in kashmir, one for every 7 kashmiri man, woman and child).
What does your "world largest democracy" have against an inherrently democractic process, a referendum, called for by the UN and commited to by India, as a means to solve the Kashmir problem? But no, why should the "world largest democracy" adhere to basic ideals and principles of democracy, that is a just crazy talk! It is much easier to mow down an entire generation of Kashmiris, after all why pay for all these weapons if you are never going to use them.
....except when somebody steals your wheels you might as well ship the rest of the structure to them. That because these wheels will be the more expensive than the rest of the car or bus.
"The oldest history zero in the history was in Babylon. Babylonian mathematicians and astronomers developed a genuine zero to signify the absence sexagesimal units of certain order"
I read your article about how serious security problems exists on the Mac platform just like Windows , and I must say that you are full of shit, to put it mildly. While some real or percieved security issues will always exist in all networked platforms. The share of these problems on the Windows platform is exponentially more than that of the Mac or Linux. I suspect this is primarily because of the fact that networking and hence "security" on windows are an after thought hack job which were added in mid to late nineties, after someone hammered the reality and importance of the internet through Bill Gates' thick skull. And also due the fact that MS drains quality out of good engineers as only MS seems to be able to do, hence the crap products!
Specifically about these issue, here are some points to remember, this "exploit" is only possible on Mac OS X if ALL of these are true:
1) In Directory Access, you check to enable NetInfo in the Services tab (Unchecked by default)
2) In Configure Netinfo you check "Attempt to connect using broadcast protocol" (Unchecked by default)
3) In Configure Netinfo you check "Attempt to connect using DHCP protocol" (Unchecked by default)
4) in Directory Access, LDAPv3 is enabled in the Services tab (Enabled by default)
5) In Directory Access LDAPv3 Configure, "Use DHCP-supplied LDAP Server" is enabled (Enabled by default)
6) A malicious person already is on your network.
7) The malicious person already controls your DHCP server.
ALL of these have to be true for there to be any problem whatsoever! While there may be reasons for some people to allow 1-5 to exists (To enable NoConf administration) but these people (Sys Admins) would know to make sure 6 and 7 are not possible. And if 6 and 7 happen you already have more serious problems unrelated to Mac OS X.
On other hand if you are a user/sysadmin who randomly enables random features and then allows the network and dhcp server to be compromised, you are are freaking idiot and deserve what is coming to you.
The reason it is quite "here" Mr. Ulanoff, is because you are trying to use your brain and there is no one home!
You dont "make" the iPod, you just develop the firmware for it. It is like saying you built the space shuttle when you just wrote some software that the space shuttle uses. Although the analogy is a bit far fetched it is accurate.
It was raining as usual in Seattle as Jeremy hurried to get to his eMELF (Electronic Media Liberation Front) meeting which was starting in 25 minutes. He was late. He plugged his iBelt to his machine and made last minute adjustments to his search list for the night. He moved Ed Norton's "Sacrifice" to the tops of his list and added "Newman Season 1" to it. He strapped on his iBelt and pulled a blue Banana Republic turtle neck sweater over it and rushed off. It was getting dark as he pulled into the Busy Bee Cafe. Busy Bee was a mom and pop place which was the latest haunt for the club. He saw Jenny entering the cafe as she parked, "Boy is she hot" he thought. She wearing a short leather shirt and guess what a bluish turtle neck cashmere sweater. Jeremy found himself wondering if Jenny had a tattoo underneath that skirt somewhere as he headed straight for the back-room where they always met.
As Jeremy entered the room he saw that Jenny was sitting next to the only available seat, he said hello as he sat and she smiled backed. The room was full of the usual suspects plus two new people. A tall smart looking guy with shaggy-like blonde hair and a cute looking brunette. Evidently they were both Ishaq's friends as they were both talking to him. "Hmmnnn, two new people in one week" thought Jeremy, "Ishaq might be making the group too big too fast. I should say something about that."
A few seconds later Ishaq stood up and introduced the two new members as Michael and Jessica. They both said a few things about themselves before we started linking and search session. As Jeremy was about start configuring the iBelt, he saw Jenny lifting her sweater to configure hers, revealing a low cut skirt below her belt. Jeremy almost froze, as he saw what looked to be a tattoo of playboy bunny with just the ear visible just above skirt belt line. "Are you done?" asked Jenny, who had finished configuring her iBelt and caught Jeremy staring at her in deep thought. "Ummnn yes.....errr no...no...one sec." As he fidgeted with his iBelt he thought "What a freaking idiot."
As his Linkster finished launching everyone was already linked, and were looking at Jeremy as if saying "Hurry up moron". A few of them were. As Linkster came up Jemery grabbed Jason's hand, while Jenny was holding hers up for him. He gently held her hand and felt this tingle as his Linkster got a reply back from hers and others. She smiled at Jeremy as Ishaq started speaking about the agenda items for the meeting. It was mostly redundant dribble which everyone had read at the club site, but this week's security and classified information was interesting as he said that he had confirmed from a source he knew from the Starbucks IT, that Starbucks and EMPA (Electronic Media Protection Agency, a powerful and cash rich "Non-profit" organization started by the major Hollywood studios, Microsoft and the Record Industry) developers were working on some ultra secret enhancement to Linkster Search Agent software which was said to have broken the Linkster encription code. The LSA was known to be a powerful agent which found hardwired Linkster databases and corrupted them by randomly shifting bits. It was known to be a threat on the internet but wirelessly breaking into Linkerster and iBelt detected in the Wireless cloud was a new and dangerous threat.
As Jeremy was thinking about the implication he felt his iBelt warning buzzer. "What the hell is this?" Then he remembered that he had installed this new LSA detection bundle for Linkster which detected LSA virus intrusions. But how can that happen, even if the stories about the Wireless LSA with capabilities to break into Linkster were true, it cannot happen here in the free-zone. They had especially chosen Busy Bee because it was in one of few remaining area of greater Seattle outside of the wireless network cloud. As he his mind rushed his gaze fell on Michael the new guy, who was looking back at him. Within a blink of an eye he had not only detected an LSA attack but he had also found how attack came. "Break link, we have a hard-line somewhere, break link" he shouted as he let Jenny and Jason's hand go. "We have an LSA attack, break your freakin links." Everyone broke links, Michael was slow to, but he broke the links as well. Ishaq quickly checked his iBelt and quickly confirmed that in-fact his whole 720 TB database was corrupted. "Who?" he screamed at Jeremy, and when he saw his eyes focused on Michael, he did not even turn as he lunged straight for Michael's throat. He missed as Michael jumped up from the chair and headed for the door, but never made it as Chad brought him down with a lunge at his mid-rift. Ishaq got up and ripped off Michael's iBelt and found it was wireless enabled, which was being used in conjunction with a power base in his car outside.
Jeremy knew that their eMELF chapter was compromised their iBelts were corrupted with LSA and would have to be reinstalled. It was quite possible EMPA could identify some of them who were not careful about the data they kept on the iBelts. Ishaq asked everyone to break group quickly in case the EMPA showed up. Everyone scrambled to leave quickly, while Jeremy was standing with Ishaq and Chad who had Michael pinned down and were kicking him every now and then, Jenny came up to him and said "That was very cool." as she held her hand up for a shake. Jeremy smiled and said "Oh it was nothing." As he shook her hand he realized she had just given him her phone number.
Slashdot Mirror
The relation of Lisa and Mac development to Xerox boils down to two (count them 2) trips that Apple engineers made to Xerox PARC in 1979 for Smalltalk technology demonstration (a common practice) by Xerox after Apple signed an agreement with them that allowed Xerox to buy $1 million worth of Apple stock at throw-away pre-IPO price (their investment was up almost 1800% just a year later on IPO). The two visits by Apple including nothing more than a technology demonstration. There was no code provided or stolen. Yes Apple was inspired by Xerox's Alto, you will never find any Apple employee who does not give Xerox due credit for their technology and vision. However having said that both Lisa and the Mac were far cry the technology demo that Smalltalk was. Xerox's Smalltalk did not have a file finder, drag and drop file manipulation, file types, imaging and windowing model, clipboard, pull-down menus, self redrawing windows, control panels, and a zillion other things that made the commerically viable operating System that embodied the Lisa and the Mac.
The Xerox PARC director at the time had this to say, "Just like the Russians and the A-bomb, they developed it very quickly once they knew it was doable." Apple independently developed the first GUI operating system and also invented most (some by Xerox) of the underlying concept and technologies. Yes they were inspired by the Xerox's Smalltalk but an inspiration does take away from all the hard-work and brilliance of the Apple Engineers who poured their hearts and souls into Lisa and the Mac. If you have doubts about that just ask the father of modern physics.
Now in contrast Microsoft being a future developer for the Lisa/Mac had the actual source code from Apple which they blatantly STOLE. You should read up on a subject before posting sweet nothings. These might help:
Apple and Xerox
Apple history Books
Microsoft's founding principle, "Steal first, ask questions later". There are probably thousands of examples of this principle at work, but here is a sampler or two:
The real origins of ClearType
Virtual Desktop manager "invented" at Microsoft
Apple is like a guy who, saw someone else who built a wooden raft for the first time but never actually tried it on water, and said, hey this is a good idea let me build my own version. Only they built a proper boat with a sail that could and for the first time did carry many people on water. Microsoft is like another guy who saw Apple's Sail boat and said hey this is a good idea, let me steal one. They stole it repainted it and sold it as their own.
BIG DIFFERENCE!
I think there will be a lot of traction behind AAC (protected/unprotected) in the coming days. I just remembered the recent adoption of Quicktime by the no 1 and 2 (DoCoMo and KDDI) wireless service providers in Japan for Video/Audio playback. I think this implies that a large (and growing) percentage of over 60 million cellphone subscribers in Japan already have the ability to playback AAC audio content. And once Apple announces the ITMS for Japan it could easily (If Apple does not think that cellphones will eat into the iPod market) mean protected AAC with ability to buy Music directly from your phones (This will be big in Japan). A Lot of these same Quicktime enabled phone are being sold in Europe and Europe could follow the same pattern with the iTMS for Europe. If Apple plays this right Redmond could face their first major defeat in the platform wars. But call it Deja vu or whatever, I have this gut feeling that at the crunch time Apple will revert back to wanting to sell iPods rather than defeat WMA.
Well even if he meant non-PC products like the iPaq, I don't see a big hurdle in HP-Apple being able to add protected AAC playback support for such HP devices for complete compatibility.
This guy is completely full of sh!t, first he claims that HP iPod will support WMA based only on what some nobody told him at the CES. Even a novice observer of the industry would dismiss this as being completely hogwash and not acceptable to Apple. And then he goes on to claim that HPs integration strategy will break because of their choice of AAC, which I reckon is primarily due to a deficiency of fully functional neurons.
Well you got that sh!t down Einstein! So a piece of code that is not self aware does NOT want to be anything!!!! Brilliant! I would have never thought of that.
And single-vendor and single platform are a "bad" thing! Again what can I say to that except. Brilliant.
The corporate growth that you speak of is only in the cheap, server side adoption and NOT on the client-side. For the corporate desktop clients the MS sh!t still continues to dominate the market. And even if Linux did make strides on the coporate desktop as well. That, based on our experience with almost universal windoze adoption, must purely be because of the high quality of Linux! The corporate market would never adopt a sub-standard, hack job, of an operating system in their environment!! Why that is unheard of!
"It's no hassle to use a plethora of keyboard combos to make up for the patronising one-button mouse. Despite the fact that my hands have FIVE fingers, and multiple-buttons make Web browsing so much more pleasant, I prefer my computer to be treat me like a special-needs child."
Someday I might shoot someone for bringing this up. For the millionth time, if using keyboard combination confuses you buy a freakin gazillion button mouse!!!
"My non-techie friends drool over the transparency and scaling effects, even though UI research has shown that they add practically nothing to getting real work done. It feels like KDE 2 on a Pentium 200, and I can't change to a light and fast WM, but those drop-shadows must make me work so quickly!"
Again you dazzle us with you Brilliance. So you needed to refer to UI research material to figure out that aesthetic only features provide no functional advantage! Brilliant. I think you need to fund a research study to figure out why hanging art work on the office walls does not automatically reduce the software bug count by 50%! No these features are there because they are "aesthetically pleasing". You don't have to have a good looking wife/husband, but in general normal people would like to have one (You however may been an exception).
"OpenDarwin.org and its community of about 27 is surely not just a token gesture by Apple. Pretty much nobody uses pure Darwin, and all the crucial components of the system are closed and require me to spend money just to get major OS updates, but they're really helping the community somehow."
Well you get what you pay for. Apple has willingly and unwillingly contributed a lot to the community at large and without them half of the things you take for granted in computers today would not exist.
"My iBook was made by in Taiwan by AlphaTop and has design and build quality flaws (needing foam sheets jammed in to stop the common problem of the keyboard scratching the screen). But it's silvery and cost far more than an x86 laptop of better spec, so it must be much higher quality!"
Hmmnn, Let see what is more likely just going by simple logic:
1) A laptop designed by Apple (No# 1 in Customer Satisfaction among ALL computer hardware manufacturers) is of really bad quality.
2) A laptop assembled to be the cheapest by the cheapest assembler for some no name marketer with no reputation whatsoever to defend is of really bad quality.
And you go with 1 ..... Brilliant!!
Although there's truth in PPC being more elegant than x86, it's crushing that the top-of-the-range 1.5 GHz chip is slaughtered by the equivalent 3 GHz Pentium 4. However, Steve Jobs showed some vague Photoshop filter benchmarks at the last MacWorld, so being a leprotard, I'm convinced."
Wait a minute are you saying that elegance actually counts for something!! Why did you
"I currently use Mac OS X as my primary operating system. However, I am not a longtime Apple user. boughtmy first Apple computer in April 2003."
From Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913):
Terrorism \Ter"ror*ism\, n. [Cf. F. terrorisme.]
The act of terrorizing, or state of being terrorized; a mode
of government by terror or intimidation. --Jefferson.
-----------------
From WordNet (r) 2.0:
terrorism
n : the calculated use of violence (or threat of violence)
against civilians in order to attain goals that are
political or religious or ideological in nature; this is
done through intimindation or coercion or instilling fear
[syn: act of terrorism, terrorist act]
The definition of terrorism does not preclude nation states from practicing it as a policy. In fact if you even remotely knew the history of the world, you would have known that majority of acts of terrorism have been and are being commited by nation states. Such acts are being commited today by India and Israel, who champion themselves as beacons of "democracy" (A pathetic farce if there ever was one). I should know I am a Kashmiri and I have seen 75,000 kashmiris killed by what is probably the largest occupying force in all of history (Some 800,000 Indian Armed forces in kashmir, one for every 7 kashmiri man, woman and child).
What does your "world largest democracy" have against an inherrently democractic process, a referendum, called for by the UN and commited to by India, as a means to solve the Kashmir problem? But no, why should the "world largest democracy" adhere to basic ideals and principles of democracy, that is a just crazy talk! It is much easier to mow down an entire generation of Kashmiris, after all why pay for all these weapons if you are never going to use them.
....except when somebody steals your wheels you might as well ship the rest of the structure to them. That because these wheels will be the more expensive than the rest of the car or bus.
You sound bored. Instead of trolling did you think about tipping cows. That could keep you entertained for hours!
"The oldest history zero in the history was in Babylon. Babylonian mathematicians and astronomers developed a genuine zero to signify the absence sexagesimal units of certain order"
Invention of Zero
So if the Arabs got the zero from anywhere it would have been...err from themselves
Dear Mr. Ulanoff,
I read your article about how serious security problems exists on the Mac platform just like Windows , and I must say that you are full of shit, to put it mildly. While some real or percieved security issues will always exist in all networked platforms. The share of these problems on the Windows platform is exponentially more than that of the Mac or Linux. I suspect this is primarily because of the fact that networking and hence "security" on windows are an after thought hack job which were added in mid to late nineties, after someone hammered the reality and importance of the internet through Bill Gates' thick skull. And also due the fact that MS drains quality out of good engineers as only MS seems to be able to do, hence the crap products!
Specifically about these issue, here are some points to remember, this "exploit" is only possible on Mac OS X if ALL of these are true:
1) In Directory Access, you check to enable NetInfo in the Services tab (Unchecked by default)
2) In Configure Netinfo you check "Attempt to connect using broadcast protocol" (Unchecked by default)
3) In Configure Netinfo you check "Attempt to connect using DHCP protocol" (Unchecked by default)
4) in Directory Access, LDAPv3 is enabled in the Services tab (Enabled by default)
5) In Directory Access LDAPv3 Configure, "Use DHCP-supplied LDAP Server" is enabled (Enabled by default)
6) A malicious person already is on your network.
7) The malicious person already controls your DHCP server.
ALL of these have to be true for there to be any problem whatsoever! While there may be reasons for some people to allow 1-5 to exists (To enable NoConf administration) but these people (Sys Admins) would know to make sure 6 and 7 are not possible. And if 6 and 7 happen you already have more serious problems unrelated to Mac OS X.
On other hand if you are a user/sysadmin who randomly enables random features and then allows the network and dhcp server to be compromised, you are are freaking idiot and deserve what is coming to you.
The reason it is quite "here" Mr. Ulanoff, is because you are trying to use your brain and there is no one home!
You dont "make" the iPod, you just develop the firmware for it. It is like saying you built the space shuttle when you just wrote some software that the space shuttle uses. Although the analogy is a bit far fetched it is accurate.
This has got to be contender for the crapiest story ever posted on slashdot. What is next, "New Krispy Cream open in the neighborhood" stories!!
Great find dude! This is freakin hilarious....:^)
It was raining as usual in Seattle as Jeremy hurried to get to his eMELF (Electronic Media Liberation Front) meeting which was starting in 25 minutes. He was late. He plugged his iBelt to his machine and made last minute adjustments to his search list for the night. He moved Ed Norton's "Sacrifice" to the tops of his list and added "Newman Season 1" to it. He strapped on his iBelt and pulled a blue Banana Republic turtle neck sweater over it and rushed off. It was getting dark as he pulled into the Busy Bee Cafe. Busy Bee was a mom and pop place which was the latest haunt for the club. He saw Jenny entering the cafe as she parked, "Boy is she hot" he thought. She wearing a short leather shirt and guess what a bluish turtle neck cashmere sweater. Jeremy found himself wondering if Jenny had a tattoo underneath that skirt somewhere as he headed straight for the back-room where they always met.
...no...one sec." As he fidgeted with his iBelt he thought "What a freaking idiot."
As Jeremy entered the room he saw that Jenny was sitting next to the only available seat, he said hello as he sat and she smiled backed. The room was full of the usual suspects plus two new people. A tall smart looking guy with shaggy-like blonde hair and a cute looking brunette. Evidently they were both Ishaq's friends as they were both talking to him. "Hmmnnn, two new people in one week" thought Jeremy, "Ishaq might be making the group too big too fast. I should say something about that."
A few seconds later Ishaq stood up and introduced the two new members as Michael and Jessica. They both said a few things about themselves before we started linking and search session. As Jeremy was about start configuring the iBelt, he saw Jenny lifting her sweater to configure hers, revealing a low cut skirt below her belt. Jeremy almost froze, as he saw what looked to be a tattoo of playboy bunny with just the ear visible just above skirt belt line. "Are you done?" asked Jenny, who had finished configuring her iBelt and caught Jeremy staring at her in deep thought. "Ummnn yes.....errr no
As his Linkster finished launching everyone was already linked, and were looking at Jeremy as if saying "Hurry up moron". A few of them were. As Linkster came up Jemery grabbed Jason's hand, while Jenny was holding hers up for him. He gently held her hand and felt this tingle as his Linkster got a reply back from hers and others. She smiled at Jeremy as Ishaq started speaking about the agenda items for the meeting. It was mostly redundant dribble which everyone had read at the club site, but this week's security and classified information was interesting as he said that he had confirmed from a source he knew from the Starbucks IT, that Starbucks and EMPA (Electronic Media Protection Agency, a powerful and cash rich "Non-profit" organization started by the major Hollywood studios, Microsoft and the Record Industry) developers were working on some ultra secret enhancement to Linkster Search Agent software which was said to have broken the Linkster encription code. The LSA was known to be a powerful agent which found hardwired Linkster databases and corrupted them by randomly shifting bits. It was known to be a threat on the internet but wirelessly breaking into Linkerster and iBelt detected in the Wireless cloud was a new and dangerous threat.
As Jeremy was thinking about the implication he felt his iBelt warning buzzer. "What the hell is this?" Then he remembered that he had installed this new LSA detection bundle for Linkster which detected LSA virus intrusions. But how can that happen, even if the stories about the Wireless LSA with capabilities to break into Linkster were true, it cannot happen here in the free-zone. They had especially chosen Busy Bee because it was in one of few remaining area of greater Seattle outside of the wireless network cloud. As he his mind rushed his gaze fell on Michael the new guy, who was looking back at him. Within a blink of an eye he had not only detected an LSA attack but he had also found how attack came. "Break link, we have a hard-line somewhere, break link" he shouted as he let Jenny and Jason's hand go. "We have an LSA attack, break your freakin links." Everyone broke links, Michael was slow to, but he broke the links as well. Ishaq quickly checked his iBelt and quickly confirmed that in-fact his whole 720 TB database was corrupted. "Who?" he screamed at Jeremy, and when he saw his eyes focused on Michael, he did not even turn as he lunged straight for Michael's throat. He missed as Michael jumped up from the chair and headed for the door, but never made it as Chad brought him down with a lunge at his mid-rift. Ishaq got up and ripped off Michael's iBelt and found it was wireless enabled, which was being used in conjunction with a power base in his car outside.
Jeremy knew that their eMELF chapter was compromised their iBelts were corrupted with LSA and would have to be reinstalled. It was quite possible EMPA could identify some of them who were not careful about the data they kept on the iBelts. Ishaq asked everyone to break group quickly in case the EMPA showed up. Everyone scrambled to leave quickly, while Jeremy was standing with Ishaq and Chad who had Michael pinned down and were kicking him every now and then, Jenny came up to him and said "That was very cool." as she held her hand up for a shake. Jeremy smiled and said "Oh it was nothing." As he shook her hand he realized she had just given him her phone number.