Just rememeber to show them how reset their computers with the Dilbert "shake" method and tell them that IT is going GREAT and that with all the money your department saves you deserve a raise. And whatever you do do NOT mention anything about the "token rings" being lost in the "ether".
If you want to ween yourself away from caffiene make sure you read the labels of your headache meds before gulping a few pills down to cure that cafeinne rebound headache. Excedrine and many similar OTC meds have lots of caffeine in them.
I'm not 100% convinced that caffeine is such a horrible substances to be addicted to, BUT I do think that if you rely on any such substance for your daily operation you should be concerned.
Also if you absolutley NEED a pick me up and more energey try switching to something with Guarana, Yohimbe and Arginine like Sobe Energy drink... In my expirience it gives me a huge boost of energy but not the blahs and "addiction" that comes with caffiene. I only drink it maybe one or twice a month though.
Another chunk of advice that works for me is to eat healthier, lots of fresh veggies and fruit to give a clean source of energy. It's not easy to eat lots of them but juicing helps.
It may also be worth your time to examine WHY you are addicted to caffiene in the place and addressing THAT rather than just the cafeinne. Maybe less timeing browseing Slash at night and more ZZZ's would help? Is it a social excercise to sit around the coffee pot chatting with co-workers? Have the Coke, Mt. Dew, Pepsi, etc, etc, etc advertising gurus really sunk their claws that deep into you?
~Z
P.S. I am addicted to sunflower seeds, Sioux City Cream Soda. BUT I am an expert at quiting... I do it almost every day!
What I was implying is that it could possibly be a flash device with 32MB built in and the OPTION of adding a 2GB flash card. A 32MB or even 64MB Flash drive for $99 would be inline with the "high price of Apple" that everyone has been gripeing about.
BUt I like the idea of a ~$99 1.5GB HD based player much much more... as long as it doesn't mean some sort of new 1 year subscription deal to iTunes.
~Z
I really want to know what sort of media they are using and how much!
Lets see, 800 songs, average of around 3 minutes a song, about 1MB per minute for average quality works out to be about 2400MB. Refactor figures for the obligatory "Best Case Scenario" marketing droid math that works out to be a 32MB Flash player containing short songs recorded at 32kbit/s!
In reality it sounds like a 1.5BG player using AAC to fit 800 songs on it. That's a definite buy at that price! BUt if it sounds to good to be true, chances are it is.
Or maybe it is a simple Flash player with a compact flash card? Inserting 2GB CF card would allow for the capacity for 800 songs yet still keep the initial price of the player low.
One of the problems that our natural immune system has with viruses, and I assume this new system would have the same issue, is that they "reproduce" inside our own cells and are often encapsulated with that cells own lipid layer before being released, in other words they chemicaly 'look' like a normal cell and are not affected by our immune system.
Another problem this technique would have is that the real nasty viruses tend to merge their DNA into our DNA and can become latent for many years. Chicken pox often does this in nerve cells and when conditions are prime (stress, disease etc.) the DNA kicks in and you get shingles.
I like the relative freedom it gives me, but I'm finding myself rather starved for human interaction.
So working at home gives you certain freedoms... WHAT freedoms? To sit around and watch TV? Surf the web? Stare at a wall? If you sit around home all day you are sure to go nuts. Why bother being at home? I recomend you find a coffee shop or library and work for awhile... or maybe drink coffee or read a book? Get outside and ride a bike or go snowshoeing (whichever weather permits). There are 24 hours in a day... try not to work for more than 8-10 of them, and make the most out of the other 14.
As a resident of Utah I am comfortable in saying YEAH RIGHT what a load od Bull Crap.
Yes I said Crap instead of the S word. Didn't I mention I live in Utah?
I've been hearing similar stuff like this forever. I am sure it coincides with Gov Mike Leavitt leaving to play politician in DC and the new Governer What's Her Name pulling deacade old buzz words out of her butt. In the end we'll end up with some silly web site that lists the sales lines of variuos Cable and DSL providers in Utah.
~Z
No I didn't read the article, it's easier just to gripe.
Thermal paper would be a bad choice. Keep in mind that you do not need to change a vote to change election results. It would be to easy to expose them to some sort of heat to invalidate ballot to decrease votes for a particular canidate or party. Either with heating a large batch at once as in "Oops, did I leave that batch of ballots in trunk of my super hot car?" or using a friction heat from a fingernail to skew results during a manual recount.
People like to poke fun of chads, but the physical punching of the ballots greatly reduced vote counting fraud when it was introduced. It was much to easy for vote counters to hide a piece of lead under there finger nails so they could double vote and invalidate opposing ballots.
They need complex redunancey coupled with a simple user interface and physical feedback for immediate voter feedback/verfication. Something like a touch screen interface for selecting the canidates and a precise and mechanical method of punching the chads to remove the human error factor and hanging chad possibilities.
A free version that is not crippled, and IS updated for protocols and such, but afaik is feature frozen.
A Commercial version that offers some interesting but unneccesary toys... mainly geek stuff. An SDK, better skin support, full unicode support, and some other nifty stuff.
I think they probably should pass on part of the $25 to the infrastructure developers... but I'm not sure they are "getting rich" off of a $25 chat program.
But hey, isn't it nice to have a choice not to support a comercial software application? Feel free to choose MS's client, but keep in mind that without Trillian and Gaim you'd have no choice if you wanted to chat with the MSN protocol.
I downloaded the Enders Game audio book last year. The reader sounded like a robot and it was abridged to the point where it was 1/4 the quality of the book. Glad I didn't pay for it.
I would have rented from the library, but all his stuff is on hold for months and months (I live in his boyhood hometown).
~Z
"how come OpenOffice suddenly became the 'default' linux office suite - Koffice and Gnome Office IMO show much more potential than the overbloated staroffice base."
OpenOffice has a larger potential user base. There are version out for Windows, Linux, Mac OS X, and Solaris. I may be wrong (and if so please reply with a download link), but Koffice, Gnumeric, and Gnome Office are Linux only.
I must admit that Thunderbird is coming along nicely, but it is a pig in its current release. Maybe when it hits ver 1.0+ it will be up to speed, but for now OE trounces it.
Who here actualy sets up OE for their parents/grandparents/whomever? Web based e-mail is perfect for those that are computer illiterate. The interface is familar, virus scanning is built in, and with a tweaked Mozilla install they are ad free!
It is a pitty to see ANY software have it's dev cycle stopped. I used PMMAIL for OS/2 and still use the registered Windows client for my day to day e-mail. It was very modern in '98, but it is starting to show it's age. I'll keep using it for my POP mail, and I'll keep OE around for archiving my hotmail account. Hopefully Thuderbird will continue to trin down and it's features will be ironed out soon. I just wish Blueprint Software would get development rolling on PMMAIL or open source the project.
"...LINServo to capture and rate the video footage and PMSVideo for clients to look at the finished footage..."
I have 6 sisters, PMSVideo is not something I'd like to see. It sounds like a really horrible fetish video.
But then again after reading other details...
"...so far generated about 1.3 terabytes of video footage..." "...Due to limitations of the Linux firewire drivers, only 896 meg of RAM gets used..." "...we took out the air-conditioner and added a second alternator..."YIKES!
Sorry, I was refering to my expieirnces with multiple companies.
I worked for a mail order computer shop as a tech supporting just about every computer component imaginable. We'd build everything from hundreds of little cheap network clients for call centers, to custom game machines, to whatever. That is what I mean by stepping a customer through de-buttering a floppy drive. I once walked a fairly clueless customer though the process of bulding her machine from scratch because she orderd all her parts from the clearly marked DIY page instead of using the full system page and wanted to try putting it together herself rather than sending it back. Do you know how hard it is to explain how install a motherboard to someone that has no idea what a motherboard is? Yikes.
But regardless, the user IS your customer. If he is having problems with a 3rd parties hardware or software, but he for some reason thinks you are at some sort of fault, why not conference in that 3rd party?
We used to do it all the time at Microsoft (I worked as an outsourced Microsoft tech supporting win9x/WinMe/Inet for two years ending spring '02). People would have issues with AOL / Earthlink / WordPerfect / Photoshop / whatever... they call the above vendor, and what do they say... "Uh... that's a Microsoft problem, call them." So they'd call Microsoft and in the case of AOL say "My AOL won't work and it is all your fault." I'm the first to admit that it may be Microsoft's fault, but how can Microsoft fix the customers AOL issue? Sure it may be a TCP/IP issue, but in the customers eyes it is an AOL issue. What we would do at Microsoft is explain to them that AOL is not our software and as such we don't always have the proper tools to fix it, BUT it does utilize a lot of our technology so we'll test that technology to the best of our ability and conference in AOL if we need them. We'd then set up a simple dial up connection, configure it for a special test ISP with an 800 number. We'd then see if the customer could resolve the test pages with IE wahtever, use the 128bit encryption, ping the right servers etc. If things don't work out then we could further test the stack using known variables with a known provider to find the failure. If things did work just fine we'd call AOL with the customer on the line and explain to the AOL tech what we've done to test the Microsoft technolgy and ask if they could help us with the AOL side. Guess what? AOL would be pretty darn receptive to helping out at that point.
With some products you have the luxury of saying "That's not our problem, go fish" Do you know horrible tech support would be for an OS like that?
"Well sir we've isolated your failure to resolve DNS requests to this 3rd party thing call New.net, it was installed with your 3rd party file sharing application so we can't help you, GO FISH."
We'd do the same thing for disk drives, Video cards, mdems whatever we could. "Sir your computers BIOS doesn't seem to be detecting your disk drive... we aren't a hardware company but we can call the maker of your computer or hard drive and see if they can help us get that resolved, then we can make sure our software is working properly." We would offer to stay on the line with them, sometimes they would take up that offer sometimes they would not (after being flogged to call MS so many times who wouldn't?).
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Microsoft Support is the super-duperest-bestest. But when you compare them to so many others that say GO FISH as a matter of policy, they where pretty darn good IF you got the right tech.
The biggest problems I found with MS support where caused by the outsourced companies like Convergys, they sucked. They'd treat employees like trash and they'd hire anybody that had a heart beat because of the turnover. The good techs where penalized because they took the time to understand and fix the customers issues. The bad tech were rewarded because they had 5 minute call times from flogging customers
Well... actually, I wouldn't be suprised. I've listened to a woman with 3 screaming kids tell me all about how milk is killing all the blacks in the ghettos while we ran diagnostics on her very dead hard drive. I just said how interesting that was and told her about my lactose intolerance.
I've had a customer tell me about how they unplug their modem when the computer is off so 'they' can't listen. I suggested they get an external modem with a power switch next time.
As for the people that think EVERYTHING is a conspiracy, and they are all out to get them via cookies or what not. There isn't much you can do other than point them toward a free software firewall or some privacy advocacy web sites. Of course you could always just feed the fire and point out all the SPY/AD-WARE they are sure have installed. Use MSCONFIG and Google to ID every startup app they have. If they want to be a nut, let them be a satisfied nut.
guys who do have an honest problem but describe it with pure lies?
I would think that if they have an honest problem that they intentionaly lie about, then that problem is no longr honest. There is a huge difference between ignorance and deception, but that differnce can be lost on most of todays techs. If a user cannot describe a problem accuratley due to a lack of technical knowledge, it is not a lie. I know there are liars, but techs are not judges, there has to be some level of trust. Why would a customer lie? Maybe because of rotten expiriences with other techs? Because they know they will have to jump though needless hoops in order to get things done? If you make a customer feel valued and important then it's their problem if they lie and get a hardware replacement to fix a software issue.
people who exaggerate their skills and act just as arrogant as the next tech?
I'm sure you know how humiliating it is to call tech support. You've tried everything you can think of but X, Y or Z still does not work. ANY first line tech monkey wirth his banana's should understand that frustration and have the ability to communicate effectivley with that customer. When you have a customer screaming that he wants a replacement part or to talk to the "real techs" rather than instantly spouting some corporate sounding BS about "I will terminate this call if you can't communicate properly," why not say something like,
"lets make sure that part X is the only malfunctioning item, maybe part Y or Z is also causing problems... otherwise we'll have the same issue when part X arrives." Work with the customer, not against them. If YOU know what you are talking about and YOU have the right skills that techie customer is going to realize it and soon shut up. If you make them realize that going though procedures is to help them out they are more apt to be cooperative. Keep in mind that maybe, just maybe, that techie customer does know what is going on and YOU are wrong. Listen, and I mean LISTEN to them, you may learn something. Work out a plan of action with that customer... you are technical SUPPORT, not a Technical Nazi (NO RMA FOR YOU!!!).
OR.. (for people that want to escalate)
"The second level support techs like to research everything possible before taking up your time on the phone. Lets go ahead and get some basic information about your problem and do a few more advanced tests so that they can have a better understaning of the problem and have the right specialist work on a solution." On my call floor Second level techs only did call backs, they rarely (never) took hot calls. If done PROPERLY that simple information and those simple tests will likely fix their problem, if it doesn't then second level techs will get a customer with a genuine problem AND detailed information rather than a unpugged power cord.
OR... (I want to talk to your manager)
"My managers name is Mr Blah Blah, the direct number to his desk is xxx-xxx-xxxx, I can transfer you directly now if you would like, but I feel with your help we can solve this problem together." I've used this on numerous callers, NEVER once did they call to complain to my manager, every call and e-mail he recieved regarding my service were complimentary. It's also a VERY good idea to offer to connect the user to the manager after the issue is resolved, or have that manager call the customer if they sound even the least bit upset, but that is in a perfect enviroment.
And what about the people who care more about weeping about the problem than actually getting it fixed?
Why do techs fear these people? These are the EXACT people that NEED the most help. I LOVED getting these calls, they are why I put up with all the insanity, screamers and cussers for so long (management, not customers). Listening is more than just extracting facts from an audio stream. Why is Grandma Jean crying because her e-mail doesn't work? Could it be because the only contact she has with her son liv
I worked front line support for Microsoft Windows ME. The first 'live' call I had was from an ER doctor that specialized in trauma. The guy was a genius compared to 99.9999% of every tech in every company in the world. I spent 8 hours over 2 days removing the bunged up 98 -> ME install, restoring his 5+ years of medical notes, convention presentation, and 2GB+ Outlook data (that was a mess!).
At the time MS and their outsourced tech flunkies (CONvergys)did not worry much about call time. It was 100% customer satification driven. A marathon call like that would be nonexistant in the current outsourced to India MS call center, I'm sure his hardrive would have been formatted and his data would be lost.
We geeks sometimes forget that some people use computers as tool for their proffesion, rather than FIXING or building said tools as their profession. I'd much rather have an ER Doctor researching life saving techniques than investigating whether or not his hardware and software are compatible with some new toy operating system.
There is NO excuse for the elitest bastard tech attitude that I am seeing in all these posts. God like tech skills mean crap if you can't get along with the caller. If the caller is ignorant on the inner workings of his computer, then you need to have the skills to help them fix their machine. If the caller is a fellow geek, you need to have the skills to extract the data you need in oder to fullfill your documention procedures without making them feel like an idiot.
Sure you can feel all high and mighty when hanging up on guy that dumped butter in his floppy drive to remove a disk, OR you could walk the guy through the process of cleaning the system up, installing a new floppy drive and getting his system fixed, OR assit him in finding a reputable local repair shop in the area to fix it for him.
I work at a hospital. There are not very many technically inclined folks here.
That's a good thing. I'd hate to have my nurse worrying about incompatiblities with her Wireless NIC and her kernel.
Or my surgeon trying to get First Post on a Slashdot story during my operation! So thanks for making their job easier and my hospital stays safer. Keep those systems up!
While I was working at Convergys doing outsourced Windows 95/98/ME tech support for Microsft I would install various ditros on the second "Break box" machines all the time. Sometimes I'd add it to the existing 95/98/ME triple boot, other times I'd do a clean install, sometimes I'd just use Knoppix.
It didn't increase productivity, but it did increase employee morale (well, mine at least).
All ther cubicle where 'communal' so I'd usualy have to sit at a differnet station each day. Reimaging the things to the Triple MS-OS config was as easy as using a custom boot floppy... but it sure was fun watching some of those techs look at the Linux screen and wonder what happened to the Start Button and the My Computer Icons, or try and step a cutomer though t a printer install... humm... maybe I'm to blame for all this MS bashing! nah... that started long before Linux was around.
Slashdot Mirror
You should count yourself lucky that you never saw Ringo as Mr. Conductor. He is almost as bad an actor as he is singer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shining_Time_Station
Ringo Starr - Mr. Conductor (1990-1991)
George Carlin - Mr. Conductor (1991-1993)
~Z
Wow! That is some great detail! I think I can even see a little minature Ringo Starr as MR. Conductor standing next to Thomas the train.
Just rememeber to show them how reset their computers with the Dilbert "shake" method and tell them that IT is going GREAT and that with all the money your department saves you deserve a raise. And whatever you do do NOT mention anything about the "token rings" being lost in the "ether".
If you want to ween yourself away from caffiene make sure you read the labels of your headache meds before gulping a few pills down to cure that cafeinne rebound headache. Excedrine and many similar OTC meds have lots of caffeine in them.
I'm not 100% convinced that caffeine is such a horrible substances to be addicted to, BUT I do think that if you rely on any such substance for your daily operation you should be concerned.
Also if you absolutley NEED a pick me up and more energey try switching to something with Guarana, Yohimbe and Arginine like Sobe Energy drink... In my expirience it gives me a huge boost of energy but not the blahs and "addiction" that comes with caffiene. I only drink it maybe one or twice a month though.
Another chunk of advice that works for me is to eat healthier, lots of fresh veggies and fruit to give a clean source of energy. It's not easy to eat lots of them but juicing helps.
It may also be worth your time to examine WHY you are addicted to caffiene in the place and addressing THAT rather than just the cafeinne. Maybe less timeing browseing Slash at night and more ZZZ's would help? Is it a social excercise to sit around the coffee pot chatting with co-workers? Have the Coke, Mt. Dew, Pepsi, etc, etc, etc advertising gurus really sunk their claws that deep into you?
~Z
P.S. I am addicted to sunflower seeds, Sioux City Cream Soda. BUT I am an expert at quiting... I do it almost every day!
What I was implying is that it could possibly be a flash device with 32MB built in and the OPTION of adding a 2GB flash card. A 32MB or even 64MB Flash drive for $99 would be inline with the "high price of Apple" that everyone has been gripeing about. BUt I like the idea of a ~$99 1.5GB HD based player much much more... as long as it doesn't mean some sort of new 1 year subscription deal to iTunes. ~Z
Dang.
I really want to know what sort of media they are using and how much!
Lets see, 800 songs, average of around 3 minutes a song, about 1MB per minute for average quality works out to be about 2400MB. Refactor figures for the obligatory "Best Case Scenario" marketing droid math that works out to be a 32MB Flash player containing short songs recorded at 32kbit/s!
In reality it sounds like a 1.5BG player using AAC to fit 800 songs on it. That's a definite buy at that price! BUt if it sounds to good to be true, chances are it is.
Or maybe it is a simple Flash player with a compact flash card? Inserting 2GB CF card would allow for the capacity for 800 songs yet still keep the initial price of the player low.
~Z
Here comes all the votes for ROTK as worst picture and GiGli as best... or seomthing like that.
~Z
One of the problems that our natural immune system has with viruses, and I assume this new system would have the same issue, is that they "reproduce" inside our own cells and are often encapsulated with that cells own lipid layer before being released, in other words they chemicaly 'look' like a normal cell and are not affected by our immune system.
Another problem this technique would have is that the real nasty viruses tend to merge their DNA into our DNA and can become latent for many years. Chicken pox often does this in nerve cells and when conditions are prime (stress, disease etc.) the DNA kicks in and you get shingles.
~Z
I like the relative freedom it gives me, but I'm finding myself rather starved for human interaction.
So working at home gives you certain freedoms... WHAT freedoms? To sit around and watch TV? Surf the web? Stare at a wall? If you sit around home all day you are sure to go nuts. Why bother being at home? I recomend you find a coffee shop or library and work for awhile... or maybe drink coffee or read a book? Get outside and ride a bike or go snowshoeing (whichever weather permits). There are 24 hours in a day... try not to work for more than 8-10 of them, and make the most out of the other 14.
~Z
So far our security record has been 100% according to our internal auditing firm.
Your password is ji5ppii9
Your desktop wallpaper is that of a large blonde woman and 3 kids.
You spend 4 hours a day at slashdot.org, 2+ at espn.com and an hour at goatse.cx
The most used applications on your computer are SOL.EXE, IEXPLORE.EXE and MSWORD.EXE
You chronicaly respond to "Lenghten The Size Of Your Weed" and "See Her Naked" spam e-mails.
Your internal auditing firm is 100% useless.
As a resident of Utah I am comfortable in saying YEAH RIGHT what a load od Bull Crap. Yes I said Crap instead of the S word. Didn't I mention I live in Utah? I've been hearing similar stuff like this forever. I am sure it coincides with Gov Mike Leavitt leaving to play politician in DC and the new Governer What's Her Name pulling deacade old buzz words out of her butt. In the end we'll end up with some silly web site that lists the sales lines of variuos Cable and DSL providers in Utah. ~Z No I didn't read the article, it's easier just to gripe.
YAWAM???
Be honest, that word is just YAAPOOYA
(Yet Another Acronym Pulled Out Of Your Ass)
~Z
Thermal paper would be a bad choice. Keep in mind that you do not need to change a vote to change election results. It would be to easy to expose them to some sort of heat to invalidate ballot to decrease votes for a particular canidate or party. Either with heating a large batch at once as in "Oops, did I leave that batch of ballots in trunk of my super hot car?" or using a friction heat from a fingernail to skew results during a manual recount.
People like to poke fun of chads, but the physical punching of the ballots greatly reduced vote counting fraud when it was introduced. It was much to easy for vote counters to hide a piece of lead under there finger nails so they could double vote and invalidate opposing ballots.
They need complex redunancey coupled with a simple user interface and physical feedback for immediate voter feedback/verfication. Something like a touch screen interface for selecting the canidates and a precise and mechanical method of punching the chads to remove the human error factor and hanging chad possibilities.
~Z
That girl in the school girl uniform is pretty scarey!
Whats next? A front page story post with the goatse guy?
Trillian makes TWO versions of their client.
A free version that is not crippled, and IS updated for protocols and such, but afaik is feature frozen.
A Commercial version that offers some interesting but unneccesary toys... mainly geek stuff. An SDK, better skin support, full unicode support, and some other nifty stuff.
I think they probably should pass on part of the $25 to the infrastructure developers... but I'm not sure they are "getting rich" off of a $25 chat program.
But hey, isn't it nice to have a choice not to support a comercial software application? Feel free to choose MS's client, but keep in mind that without Trillian and Gaim you'd have no choice if you wanted to chat with the MSN protocol.
~z
I downloaded the Enders Game audio book last year. The reader sounded like a robot and it was abridged to the point where it was 1/4 the quality of the book. Glad I didn't pay for it.
I would have rented from the library, but all his stuff is on hold for months and months (I live in his boyhood hometown).
~Z
"how come OpenOffice suddenly became the 'default' linux office suite - Koffice and Gnome Office IMO show much more potential than the overbloated staroffice base."
OpenOffice has a larger potential user base. There are version out for Windows, Linux, Mac OS X, and Solaris. I may be wrong (and if so please reply with a download link), but Koffice, Gnumeric, and Gnome Office are Linux only.
~Z
I must admit that Thunderbird is coming along nicely, but it is a pig in its current release. Maybe when it hits ver 1.0+ it will be up to speed, but for now OE trounces it.
Who here actualy sets up OE for their parents/grandparents/whomever? Web based e-mail is perfect for those that are computer illiterate. The interface is familar, virus scanning is built in, and with a tweaked Mozilla install they are ad free!
It is a pitty to see ANY software have it's dev cycle stopped. I used PMMAIL for OS/2 and still use the registered Windows client for my day to day e-mail. It was very modern in '98, but it is starting to show it's age. I'll keep using it for my POP mail, and I'll keep OE around for archiving my hotmail account. Hopefully Thuderbird will continue to trin down and it's features will be ironed out soon. I just wish Blueprint Software would get development rolling on PMMAIL or open source the project.
~Z
"...LINServo to capture and rate the video footage and PMSVideo for clients to look at the finished footage..."
I have 6 sisters, PMSVideo is not something I'd like to see. It sounds like a really horrible fetish video.
But then again after reading other details...
"...so far generated about 1.3 terabytes of video footage..."
"...Due to limitations of the Linux firewire drivers, only 896 meg of RAM gets used..."
"...we took out the air-conditioner and added a second alternator..." YIKES!
I can maybe see why it was named as such!
~Z
Sorry, I was refering to my expieirnces with multiple companies.
I worked for a mail order computer shop as a tech supporting just about every computer component imaginable. We'd build everything from hundreds of little cheap network clients for call centers, to custom game machines, to whatever. That is what I mean by stepping a customer through de-buttering a floppy drive. I once walked a fairly clueless customer though the process of bulding her machine from scratch because she orderd all her parts from the clearly marked DIY page instead of using the full system page and wanted to try putting it together herself rather than sending it back. Do you know how hard it is to explain how install a motherboard to someone that has no idea what a motherboard is? Yikes.
But regardless, the user IS your customer. If he is having problems with a 3rd parties hardware or software, but he for some reason thinks you are at some sort of fault, why not conference in that 3rd party?
We used to do it all the time at Microsoft (I worked as an outsourced Microsoft tech supporting win9x/WinMe/Inet for two years ending spring '02). People would have issues with AOL / Earthlink / WordPerfect / Photoshop / whatever... they call the above vendor, and what do they say... "Uh... that's a Microsoft problem, call them." So they'd call Microsoft and in the case of AOL say "My AOL won't work and it is all your fault." I'm the first to admit that it may be Microsoft's fault, but how can Microsoft fix the customers AOL issue? Sure it may be a TCP/IP issue, but in the customers eyes it is an AOL issue. What we would do at Microsoft is explain to them that AOL is not our software and as such we don't always have the proper tools to fix it, BUT it does utilize a lot of our technology so we'll test that technology to the best of our ability and conference in AOL if we need them. We'd then set up a simple dial up connection, configure it for a special test ISP with an 800 number. We'd then see if the customer could resolve the test pages with IE wahtever, use the 128bit encryption, ping the right servers etc. If things don't work out then we could further test the stack using known variables with a known provider to find the failure. If things did work just fine we'd call AOL with the customer on the line and explain to the AOL tech what we've done to test the Microsoft technolgy and ask if they could help us with the AOL side. Guess what? AOL would be pretty darn receptive to helping out at that point.
With some products you have the luxury of saying "That's not our problem, go fish" Do you know horrible tech support would be for an OS like that?
"Well sir we've isolated your failure to resolve DNS requests to this 3rd party thing call New.net, it was installed with your 3rd party file sharing application so we can't help you, GO FISH."
We'd do the same thing for disk drives, Video cards, mdems whatever we could. "Sir your computers BIOS doesn't seem to be detecting your disk drive... we aren't a hardware company but we can call the maker of your computer or hard drive and see if they can help us get that resolved, then we can make sure our software is working properly." We would offer to stay on the line with them, sometimes they would take up that offer sometimes they would not (after being flogged to call MS so many times who wouldn't?).
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Microsoft Support is the super-duperest-bestest. But when you compare them to so many others that say GO FISH as a matter of policy, they where pretty darn good IF you got the right tech.
The biggest problems I found with MS support where caused by the outsourced companies like Convergys, they sucked. They'd treat employees like trash and they'd hire anybody that had a heart beat because of the turnover. The good techs where penalized because they took the time to understand and fix the customers issues. The bad tech were rewarded because they had 5 minute call times from flogging customers
Well... actually, I wouldn't be suprised. I've listened to a woman with 3 screaming kids tell me all about how milk is killing all the blacks in the ghettos while we ran diagnostics on her very dead hard drive. I just said how interesting that was and told her about my lactose intolerance.
I've had a customer tell me about how they unplug their modem when the computer is off so 'they' can't listen. I suggested they get an external modem with a power switch next time.
As for the people that think EVERYTHING is a conspiracy, and they are all out to get them via cookies or what not. There isn't much you can do other than point them toward a free software firewall or some privacy advocacy web sites. Of course you could always just feed the fire and point out all the SPY/AD-WARE they are sure have installed. Use MSCONFIG and Google to ID every startup app they have. If they want to be a nut, let them be a satisfied nut.
~Z
guys who do have an honest problem but describe it with pure lies?
I would think that if they have an honest problem that they intentionaly lie about, then that problem is no longr honest. There is a huge difference between ignorance and deception, but that differnce can be lost on most of todays techs. If a user cannot describe a problem accuratley due to a lack of technical knowledge, it is not a lie. I know there are liars, but techs are not judges, there has to be some level of trust. Why would a customer lie? Maybe because of rotten expiriences with other techs? Because they know they will have to jump though needless hoops in order to get things done? If you make a customer feel valued and important then it's their problem if they lie and get a hardware replacement to fix a software issue.
people who exaggerate their skills and act just as arrogant as the next tech?
I'm sure you know how humiliating it is to call tech support. You've tried everything you can think of but X, Y or Z still does not work. ANY first line tech monkey wirth his banana's should understand that frustration and have the ability to communicate effectivley with that customer. When you have a customer screaming that he wants a replacement part or to talk to the "real techs" rather than instantly spouting some corporate sounding BS about "I will terminate this call if you can't communicate properly," why not say something like,
"lets make sure that part X is the only malfunctioning item, maybe part Y or Z is also causing problems... otherwise we'll have the same issue when part X arrives." Work with the customer, not against them. If YOU know what you are talking about and YOU have the right skills that techie customer is going to realize it and soon shut up. If you make them realize that going though procedures is to help them out they are more apt to be cooperative. Keep in mind that maybe, just maybe, that techie customer does know what is going on and YOU are wrong. Listen, and I mean LISTEN to them, you may learn something. Work out a plan of action with that customer... you are technical SUPPORT, not a Technical Nazi (NO RMA FOR YOU!!!).
OR.. (for people that want to escalate)
"The second level support techs like to research everything possible before taking up your time on the phone. Lets go ahead and get some basic information about your problem and do a few more advanced tests so that they can have a better understaning of the problem and have the right specialist work on a solution." On my call floor Second level techs only did call backs, they rarely (never) took hot calls. If done PROPERLY that simple information and those simple tests will likely fix their problem, if it doesn't then second level techs will get a customer with a genuine problem AND detailed information rather than a unpugged power cord.
OR... (I want to talk to your manager)
"My managers name is Mr Blah Blah, the direct number to his desk is xxx-xxx-xxxx, I can transfer you directly now if you would like, but I feel with your help we can solve this problem together." I've used this on numerous callers, NEVER once did they call to complain to my manager, every call and e-mail he recieved regarding my service were complimentary. It's also a VERY good idea to offer to connect the user to the manager after the issue is resolved, or have that manager call the customer if they sound even the least bit upset, but that is in a perfect enviroment.
And what about the people who care more about weeping about the problem than actually getting it fixed?
Why do techs fear these people? These are the EXACT people that NEED the most help. I LOVED getting these calls, they are why I put up with all the insanity, screamers and cussers for so long (management, not customers). Listening is more than just extracting facts from an audio stream. Why is Grandma Jean crying because her e-mail doesn't work? Could it be because the only contact she has with her son liv
AHMEN!
I worked front line support for Microsoft Windows ME. The first 'live' call I had was from an ER doctor that specialized in trauma. The guy was a genius compared to 99.9999% of every tech in every company in the world. I spent 8 hours over 2 days removing the bunged up 98 -> ME install, restoring his 5+ years of medical notes, convention presentation, and 2GB+ Outlook data (that was a mess!).
At the time MS and their outsourced tech flunkies (CONvergys)did not worry much about call time. It was 100% customer satification driven. A marathon call like that would be nonexistant in the current outsourced to India MS call center, I'm sure his hardrive would have been formatted and his data would be lost.
We geeks sometimes forget that some people use computers as tool for their proffesion, rather than FIXING or building said tools as their profession. I'd much rather have an ER Doctor researching life saving techniques than investigating whether or not his hardware and software are compatible with some new toy operating system.
There is NO excuse for the elitest bastard tech attitude that I am seeing in all these posts. God like tech skills mean crap if you can't get along with the caller. If the caller is ignorant on the inner workings of his computer, then you need to have the skills to help them fix their machine. If the caller is a fellow geek, you need to have the skills to extract the data you need in oder to fullfill your documention procedures without making them feel like an idiot.
Sure you can feel all high and mighty when hanging up on guy that dumped butter in his floppy drive to remove a disk, OR you could walk the guy through the process of cleaning the system up, installing a new floppy drive and getting his system fixed, OR assit him in finding a reputable local repair shop in the area to fix it for him.
~Z
I work at a hospital. There are not very many technically inclined folks here.
That's a good thing. I'd hate to have my nurse worrying about incompatiblities with her Wireless NIC and her kernel.
Or my surgeon trying to get First Post on a Slashdot story during my operation!
So thanks for making their job easier and my hospital stays safer. Keep those systems up!
~Z
While I was working at Convergys doing outsourced Windows 95/98/ME tech support for Microsft I would install various ditros on the second "Break box" machines all the time. Sometimes I'd add it to the existing 95/98/ME triple boot, other times I'd do a clean install, sometimes I'd just use Knoppix.
It didn't increase productivity, but it did increase employee morale (well, mine at least).
All ther cubicle where 'communal' so I'd usualy have to sit at a differnet station each day.
Reimaging the things to the Triple MS-OS config was as easy as using a custom boot floppy... but it sure was fun watching some of those techs look at the Linux screen and wonder what happened to the Start Button and the My Computer Icons, or try and step a cutomer though t a printer install... humm... maybe I'm to blame for all this MS bashing! nah... that started long before Linux was around.
~Z