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User: Channard

Channard's activity in the archive.

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Comments · 1,005

  1. This is what'd get me buying an MP3 player.. on Portable MP3 Hardware Sales Up · · Score: 1

    Technologically impossible this may be, but what'd get me buying an MP3 player would be an add-on that would let me plug it into a CD player's deck, in the same way you can get tape converters for CD players. The one thing that puts me off getting an MP3 player is the inability to plug into absolutely any CD player, no matter how old.

  2. Let the comedy stylings commence! on AOL Lays Off 450 In California · · Score: 3, Funny
    Cue the inevitable gags -

    'You've got dole!'

    'You've got a P45.'

    'You've got food stamps!'

    . Any more? I suspect said ex-employees will be finding out if you can build a house out of AOL cds.

  3. You believed that? on Nuclear Powered Mission to Jovian Moons · · Score: 1
    "From the moment I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. 3001: The Final Odyssey is a tour de force that finally answers the questions that sparked the imaginations of an entire generation."

    I suspect that quote was extrapolated by a PR guy at the publishing house, Aldrin's original quote being 'Good book.' It just screams 'PR bollocks'.

  4. Don't be ridiculous.. on Nuclear Powered Mission to Jovian Moons · · Score: 1
    I just hope the probe doesn't get drunk after going to all those bars.

    Not a 'pub' bar - a space bar.

  5. Re:Work? on Remail: IBM is Reinventing Email · · Score: 4, Funny
    Who spends most of their day in the inbox?

    'Clippy', apparently, that annoying swine. I think he's the one sending all those scam emails, so he can fund his tipp-ex habit.

  6. Spot on, if by 'forking' you mean on "Forking" Greatest Danger of Adopting Open Source? · · Score: 1

    That forking annoying SCO and forking scumbag Daryl McBride.

  7. Re:Nice spinoff... on Spamholes Fighting Spammers · · Score: 1
    Now I've got some new invective: Stick it in your spamhole, pal! Perfect...

    Perhaps some sort of joint business venture with the Goatse guy might be in order. Spamhole T-Shirts, maybe?

  8. Rubbish.. on Buzz Advocates Lagrange Point Spaceport · · Score: 4, Funny
    Here is a link the famous Buzz Aldrin "punch" video wherein he punches some moron who calls him a liar about having ever been to the moon. Posted for your enjoyment.

    That's clearly faked. The shadow cast by Buzz Aldrin's fist is all wrong.

  9. And just wait... on Buzz Advocates Lagrange Point Spaceport · · Score: 1
    I am sure there will be legal battles about who can claim ownership of the lagrange points similar to the legal battles of Antarctica.

    If you think that's going to be a problem, just wait till the spaceport is being build and all those people who bought 'lunar land' try to charge rent.

  10. Re:Hacked in 2003:GNU, GNOME, Debian, FSF, and Gen on New Battlestar Galactica Premieres Monday · · Score: 1
    Who's next to have their Linux network hacked in 2003?

    The Cylons, maybe? With the words 'Jw00 have been hax0red' flashing across their visors instead of that read line.

  11. Surely.. on McBride's New Open Letter on Copyrights · · Score: 5, Funny

    Surely 'Hungry, horny penguins?' It'd make for a great headline - 'McBride fuxed, snaxed by Tux.'

  12. Is it my imagination.. on JenniCam Closing After 7+ Years · · Score: -1, Funny
    OK
    webcrawler starts to suck
    altavista goes static

    Is it my imagination, or did that start off as a haiku?

  13. Re:The end of an era... on JenniCam Closing After 7+ Years · · Score: 2, Funny
    Who was that first chick who shat and screwed on camera for all of us?"

    And who was the poor sod who had to clean the lens? I wondered why the camera went dark all of a sudden.

  14. The creepiest thing ever... on JenniCam Closing After 7+ Years · · Score: 3, Insightful
    I heard some sad news on PBS this morning. Jennicam was found dead at her website today.

    Jennicam the concept, maybe, not the person. Though there's got to be the plot for a horror story in there - someone decides to stop their popular webcam, only to find that the webcam keeps transmitting, showing someone her walking around her flat doing her usual things. Except that said person is there when Jenni herself isn't..

  15. Maybe not to you... on JenniCam Closing After 7+ Years · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Watching someone else's life just doesn't appeal to me I guess...

    Maybe not to you, but to Joe Public it does. In fact, the preponderance of webcams may have had something to do with the rise in popularity of reality TV. Here in the UK, we get Fame Academy, Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother, and a slew of tedious TV shows that someone must be watching for them to stay on air. Maybe the majority of Slashdotters are just too cynical to be swayed by that sort of thing, but there are plenty of people who are convinced other peoples lives are somehow better than their own, and therefore worthy of viewing.

  16. As one door closes, another opens. on JenniCam Closing After 7+ Years · · Score: 3, Funny
    Don't worry - those having withdrawal symptoms will be able to comfort themselves with the launch of the new Goatse cam. Opening (literally) soon.

    Oh, no, wait, that's a nightmare I had. Same night I had the 24 hour Tubgirl channel dream, now I think about it.

  17. Re:The end of an era... on JenniCam Closing After 7+ Years · · Score: 4, Funny
    One can only hope that camwhores everywhere might follow Jenni in this new trend.

    Providing the their last words aren't.. 'I told u I was hardcore.'

  18. Now that's script reuse for you... on New Battlestar Galactica Premieres Monday · · Score: 1

    Flesh Gordon 3 - This Time It's Tinfoil - lives, albeit with the title crossed out and replaced with 'Battlestar Galactica'.

  19. Creativity roxx0rs, d00dz! on Canadian Supreme Court To Define ISP Role · · Score: 2, Insightful
    'Creative people should be compensated for the use and exploitation of their music.'

    Yep, because you can't get much more creative and original than Britney Spears and her fellow artists. I also notice that the words 'rewarded appropriately' were used instead of 'rewarded fairly.'

  20. Re:Hara-kiri Over Hanson!! on Japanese P2P Users Arrested, Creator Targeted · · Score: 1
    Holy shit that could lead to Hara-kiri over Hanson.

    You're saying listening to Hanson wouldn't drive someone to kill themselves *first*? Mind you, going by some of the J-Pop acts, maybe the Japanese have a higher tolerance.

  21. This is an outrage! on Japanese P2P Users Arrested, Creator Targeted · · Score: 5, Funny

    This must stop! If this continues, the P2P world's supply of tentacle rape porn and mech video clips could dry up overnight!

  22. Not a coincidence.. ? on Paraphrasing Sentences With Software · · Score: 2, Funny
    What's the betting Infogrames code has in fact been reused for this application? Twenty years down the line...

    Auto Greeter Machine: I welcome you to our country, and greet you with open arms. Please enjoy your stay - we have a fine range of tourist facilities, restaurants, bars and so forth. And on a personal note, may I say that you are likely to be eaten by a grue.

  23. Students have feelings too.. on Longest Physics Lecture in History? · · Score: 1

    .. that subsidised beer won't drink itself, you insensitive clod.

  24. Well, that's the Clangers up the creek... on President Bush To Call For Return To Moon? · · Score: 2, Funny
    Presumably they and the Soup Dragon will end up living on reservations soon, while the colonists take over and build cheese-mines to tap its natural resources.

    What do you mean, 'not real?'. Next you'll be telling me the Button Moon landing was faked.

  25. I wonder just how many of these spammers... on Another Worm Targets Anti-Spam Sites · · Score: 1

    .. try and sell their pirated copies of Norton Systemworks through spam, harping on about the evils of viruses, all the while paying some script kiddy to write their anti-anti-spammer worms.