The County Fair was in full swing when he arrived. With a mere glance around, he knew that he's made the right choice. This was a virtual cornucopia of toothless rednecks just begging for improvement. Dr. Pierce smiled briefly, flashing slightly sharpened teeth and strode out among the people.
Dr. Pierce was a strange sight. Among the large, hairy inhabitants of this small Texan town, he looked more like a giant rodent than a man. His face was lean and pointed, with a beak-like nose, large ears, and round red glasses that totally hid his eyes. His hair was shock white, frazzled and long, tied back in a knotted ponytail. His body was thin, dangerously so. The way his lightly stained labcoat hung on his shoulders, he looked a bit like an undernourished hat-rack.
No, he didn't fit in with this small town, but he wasn't here to make friends...well, that wasn't necessarily true. But when Dr. Pierce made friends, it usually involved spare parts and floating things in jars.
Occasionally he muttered to himself as he squeezed through the crowd. He said stuff like, "too thin", or "bleag", and occasionally "called me mad!".
The crowd parted, and Pierce saw what he was looking for. There was a large table with several fat hicks stuffing themselves with what he hoped was chocolate pie. He pushed through the gathered spectators and gaped at the sign before him.
"Eating contest?" He pushed his red glasses up his thin nose. He returned his gaze to the contestants. "Fascinating."
The contestants were really gorging. By now, the man directly in the middle had already inhaled six pies and was
scooping the seventh down his throat. The others were furiously trying to keep up, but even a large 500 gorilla in
overalls was hard pressed to compete with this eating machine. Pierce's lips split into a thin smile as he watched. The
man was unremarkable at best, with a plain face and the physique of someone thrice his age. In a mere matter of moment,
the young man gulped down five more pies, and ate another one even after the others had stopped. He was undisputed
winner, breaking the previous year's record. By the end, Dr. Pierce was bouncing from foot to foot, giggling.
After the contestants all left, the winner still sat there and rubbed his enormously swollen stomach. After the others had gone, a shadow fell over the gurgling gut, and the lad looked into the piercing red stare of the doctor.
"What is your name, boy?"
The lad looked up. "Uh...Billy Joe."
Pierce beamed, leaning back. "Billy Joe! Wonderful, wonderful. Well, very pleased to meet you Billy. I am Dr. Anthony Pierce. I have need of a young man of your...talents."
Typical of the breed, Billy Joe blinked stupidly. "Huh?"
Pierce seemed to grin wider, making him look a bit like a rabid rat.
"And such a bright lad. Yes, you're absolutely perfect. How old are you?"
"19." Billy was trying to squirm back, but his stomach rendered him immobile.
Pierce nodded sagely. "Good age, that. Yes..." He seemed to look into the horizon, his face twisted into a mask of internal struggle. Finally he nodded and reached into his labcoat and whipped out a small card. BJ shrunk away from it as if worried it would bite or possibly explode. "Here's my card. I'm in need of a ranch hand to help me with a very, VERY secret project. If you're interested in working for me, come to this address. If you are not TOTALLY serious about working for me, do not come. I'll have no slackers interrupting my projects."
Billy Joe took the card and looked at it. It was a black card with Dr. Pierce written in white, nothing more. The address was penciled in on the back.
Billy looked up suddenly. "Hey wait, what does this pay?"
Pierce half-turned and smiled. "Oh not too much....but the benefits are outstanding." He stalked away with sweep of his coat and strode into the sunset.
Check out the amazing Yoshi girl
and her playful tentacle friend! Rides starting soon at $29.99 (Saddle not included; children ride for half-price).
Yoshi-girl is genetically engineered to be in constant sexual heat and is
guaranteed to pounce on even the smelliest nerd with little coaxing!
Spending a few hours with Yoshi-girl is sure to be the most gratifying
experience you've had in years. Don't believe us? Just look at these
testimonials from previous customers:
Hunched over in that uncomfortable chair writing Linux kernel code all day was
really tense. Human girls wouldn't come near me, but Yoshi-girl treated me like I was the last
man on Earth. Two thumbs up! -- Linus Torvalds
Sure she's not human, but it sure beats all the sleazy Mexican whores I've been with,
and believe me, I've been with more than you can count. You go Yoshi! -- Miguel De Icaza
You gotta love the 2-foot-long tongue. -- Richard Stallman
Official webpage with registration info and pricing coming soon, be patient/.'ers. In the meantime try these other quality sites for all your horny geek fanboy needs:
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to Hitler
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to Hitler
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Is that the software can never die (theoretically). If some company retires a product (ie, Redhat) someone else can step in and continue to maintain it.
I'd be interested to know if this is just a BSD thing or if I can run these apps on Linux or Windows.
Is this what you're talking about?
on
RSA-576 Factored
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
http://www.penguinhosting.net/~jpeck/prime/
Please be kind to my karma...
I think my form of encryption is better
on
RSA-576 Factored
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Ontday oyay inkthay osay?
Re:A little ironic, don't you think?
on
Kazaa-lite Shut Down
·
· Score: 2, Insightful
Not everything shared on kazaa is illegal.
Almost everything on kazaa is illegal. I challenge you to name the last time you saw something that was in the public domain or under a free license (GPL, FDL, BSD, etc.) If you pressure Sharman enough they will have to admit the main attraction of their program is to facilitate copyright infringement. Personally I don't like copyright as it stands one bit, but they are being rather hypocritical.
A little ironic, don't you think?
on
Kazaa-lite Shut Down
·
· Score: 5, Insightful
Sharman shutting down K++ for copyright infringement? Isn't that what the RIAA is trying to do to Sharman... I know, I know, sharman doesn't actually host illegal files on their site, but it seems their entire business model revolves around copying music illegally.
Well, not most of the time, anyway. I see the point he's trying to make, but the most important thing to do, in my opinion, is to provide means for people to escape this dredge of unwanted information (particularly advertising) if they so choose. This is why I strongly support the use and people's right to use ad-blockers and the like on the internet. Now, there is *one* thing I think needs to be heavily regulated, maybe even banned -- billboards. They make the road ugly, you can't escape them, and they might even contribute to increasing the rate of car accidents. (ie, plowing into a tree while gazing at a hooters ad...)
Slashdot Mirror
lol
Mutant Milkmaids by: Rancid
The County Fair was in full swing when he arrived. With a mere glance around, he knew that he's made the right choice. This was a virtual cornucopia of toothless rednecks just begging for improvement. Dr. Pierce smiled briefly, flashing slightly sharpened teeth and strode out among the people.
Dr. Pierce was a strange sight. Among the large, hairy inhabitants of this small Texan town, he looked more like a giant rodent than a man. His face was lean and pointed, with a beak-like nose, large ears, and round red glasses that totally hid his eyes. His hair was shock white, frazzled and long, tied back in a knotted ponytail. His body was thin, dangerously so. The way his lightly stained labcoat hung on his shoulders, he looked a bit like an undernourished hat-rack.
No, he didn't fit in with this small town, but he wasn't here to make friends...well, that wasn't necessarily true. But when Dr. Pierce made friends, it usually involved spare parts and floating things in jars.
Occasionally he muttered to himself as he squeezed through the crowd. He said stuff like, "too thin", or "bleag", and occasionally "called me mad!".
The crowd parted, and Pierce saw what he was looking for. There was a large table with several fat hicks stuffing themselves with what he hoped was chocolate pie. He pushed through the gathered spectators and gaped at the sign before him.
"Eating contest?" He pushed his red glasses up his thin nose. He returned his gaze to the contestants. "Fascinating."
The contestants were really gorging. By now, the man directly in the middle had already inhaled six pies and was
scooping the seventh down his throat. The others were furiously trying to keep up, but even a large 500 gorilla in
overalls was hard pressed to compete with this eating machine. Pierce's lips split into a thin smile as he watched. The
man was unremarkable at best, with a plain face and the physique of someone thrice his age. In a mere matter of moment,
the young man gulped down five more pies, and ate another one even after the others had stopped. He was undisputed
winner, breaking the previous year's record. By the end, Dr. Pierce was bouncing from foot to foot, giggling.
After the contestants all left, the winner still sat there and rubbed his enormously swollen stomach. After the others had gone, a shadow fell over the gurgling gut, and the lad looked into the piercing red stare of the doctor.
"What is your name, boy?"
The lad looked up. "Uh...Billy Joe."
Pierce beamed, leaning back. "Billy Joe! Wonderful, wonderful. Well, very pleased to meet you Billy. I am Dr. Anthony Pierce. I have need of a young man of your...talents."
Typical of the breed, Billy Joe blinked stupidly. "Huh?"
Pierce seemed to grin wider, making him look a bit like a rabid rat.
"And such a bright lad. Yes, you're absolutely perfect. How old are you?"
"19." Billy was trying to squirm back, but his stomach rendered him immobile.
Pierce nodded sagely. "Good age, that. Yes..." He seemed to look into the horizon, his face twisted into a mask of internal struggle. Finally he nodded and reached into his labcoat and whipped out a small card. BJ shrunk away from it as if worried it would bite or possibly explode. "Here's my card. I'm in need of a ranch hand to help me with a very, VERY secret project. If you're interested in working for me, come to this address. If you are not TOTALLY serious about working for me, do not come. I'll have no slackers interrupting my projects."
Billy Joe took the card and looked at it. It was a black card with Dr. Pierce written in white, nothing more. The address was penciled in on the back.
Billy looked up suddenly. "Hey wait, what does this pay?"
Pierce half-turned and smiled. "Oh not too much....but the benefits are outstanding." He stalked away with sweep of his coat and strode into the sunset.
Billy finally manage
It's a trap!
"You're not a man, you're a mouse!", my wife screamed at me this morning when I failed to satisfy her orally.
Any advice?
Check out the amazing Yoshi girl and her playful tentacle friend! Rides starting soon at $29.99 (Saddle not included; children ride for half-price).
/.'ers. In the meantime try these other quality sites for all your horny geek fanboy needs:
.com venture
Yoshi-girl is genetically engineered to be in constant sexual heat and is guaranteed to pounce on even the smelliest nerd with little coaxing! Spending a few hours with Yoshi-girl is sure to be the most gratifying experience you've had in years. Don't believe us? Just look at these testimonials from previous customers:
Hunched over in that uncomfortable chair writing Linux kernel code all day was really tense. Human girls wouldn't come near me, but Yoshi-girl treated me like I was the last man on Earth. Two thumbs up!
-- Linus Torvalds
Sure she's not human, but it sure beats all the sleazy Mexican whores I've been with, and believe me, I've been with more than you can count. You go Yoshi!
-- Miguel De Icaza
You gotta love the 2-foot-long tongue.
-- Richard Stallman
Official webpage with registration info and pricing coming soon, be patient
Lara Croft Land
Natalie Portman covered with hot grits
RMS gone wild!
CowboyNeal: behind the blubber
Taco's new
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to Hitler
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to Hitler
# Important Smurfs: Please try to keep posts on Smurfette.
# Try to spooge on other people's comments instead of starting new threads (of semen.)
# Read George Bush's subliminablble messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. (Like George W and his Dad)
# Use a clear lubricant that describes what your message is about.
# Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be NAZI-Fied. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the Loser Rights Page)
# If you want replies to your trolls sent to you, consider logging in or creating a trolling account.
Problems regarding accounts or comment posting s
Why not, after they handled Waco so well?
Is that the software can never die (theoretically). If some company retires a product (ie, Redhat) someone else can step in and continue to maintain it.
Does he mean the economy or the browser?
heh
but I, for one, welcome our new radio communicating alien overlords.
I'd be interested to know if this is just a BSD thing or if I can run these apps on Linux or Windows.
http://www.penguinhosting.net/~jpeck/prime/
Please be kind to my karma...
Ontday oyay inkthay osay?
Not everything shared on kazaa is illegal.
Almost everything on kazaa is illegal. I challenge you to name the last time you saw something that was in the public domain or under a free license (GPL, FDL, BSD, etc.) If you pressure Sharman enough they will have to admit the main attraction of their program is to facilitate copyright infringement. Personally I don't like copyright as it stands one bit, but they are being rather hypocritical.
Sharman shutting down K++ for copyright infringement? Isn't that what the RIAA is trying to do to Sharman... I know, I know, sharman doesn't actually host illegal files on their site, but it seems their entire business model revolves around copying music illegally.
Looks like something from Spaceballs.
What next? A tacky van with wings driven by a dog?
I saw the Lego block logo and for a minute thought someone had made an entire SUV out of legos.
Well, not most of the time, anyway. I see the point he's trying to make, but the most important thing to do, in my opinion, is to provide means for people to escape this dredge of unwanted information (particularly advertising) if they so choose. This is why I strongly support the use and people's right to use ad-blockers and the like on the internet. Now, there is *one* thing I think needs to be heavily regulated, maybe even banned -- billboards. They make the road ugly, you can't escape them, and they might even contribute to increasing the rate of car accidents. (ie, plowing into a tree while gazing at a hooters ad...)
AOL's $299 PC?
The bigot!
What if some smart but malicious programmer rigged the system for his own profit? I know this example here is a glitch, but perhaps in the future...