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User: The+Ultimate+Fartkno

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  1. Re:But it still does not answer the question on Pigeon Turns Out To Be Faster Than S. African Net · · Score: 1

    Last swallow what bit me got 'is li'l neck broke. I'm not about to sit around and see 'ow many times 'e can do it in a second!

  2. Re:No kidding on A Look Back At Star Raiders · · Score: 1

    Of course, the game started out with people trying hard to points... players forgot how operate the paddles.

    Good times. Good times. Lasting brain damage.

    Clearly.

  3. Re:Citation Needed on ELF Knocks Down AM Towers To Save Earth, Intercoms · · Score: 1

    Really, anyone could [i]claim[/i] to be affiliated with ELF and technically be correct.

    They're like Al-Quaeda that way, except we don't seem to have a lot of interest in blowing them up. Therefore, I propose we have a Predator take out PETA's headquarters instead since they like to pay for ELF members' legal defense. It's like how we blow stuff up in the Mideast because it's "providing support for terrorists."

    Insert obligatory cheap shot at the Bush administration here.

  4. Re:I don't get it... on The Design Failures That Led To Rock Band · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oh. My. God.

    I know that "LOL" and "new keyboard" are pretty much the most worn out cliches on the intarwebs, but when I saw the "Autism Rocks!" logo I came within an inch of spewing coffee across my computer and LOLed so loudly that my cat flew out of the room like someone had tased him. What's next, "I have EXTREME cancer!" t-shirts?

  5. Re:Oh so I have it wrong then??? on Major ISPs Seek To Lower Broadband Definition · · Score: 1

    No, no. That would be The Fat Boys. We're talking about *broadband.*

    You know, like The Go-Gos.

  6. Re:Nothing new here... on BrainPort Lets the Blind "See" With Their Tongues · · Score: 1

    Weren't there issues with the tongue being "low resolution"

    Yes, but it's 2009 now. NewEgg just started shipping HD tongues. The problem has been... licked.

  7. Re:Free speech and democracy? on Flickr Yanks Image of Obama As Joker · · Score: 5, Funny

    I want MY America back! This isn't Nazi Germany!

  8. Who's going to be the first sick bastard... on How To Send Email When You're Dead · · Score: 1

    ...to email "you were ADOPTED and we never loved you!" to his kid?

  9. Re:May I be the first to say... on Guitar, Studio Wizard Les Paul Dies At 94 · · Score: 1

    The Band?

  10. Re:Chet Atkins and now Les Paul on Guitar, Studio Wizard Les Paul Dies At 94 · · Score: 1

    Just in case you never saw it, here's Chet surprising Les in the middle of a song. Nice to see a look back at the times when musicians actually performed live.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByGsHTlKmWk

  11. Re:May I be the first to say... on Guitar, Studio Wizard Les Paul Dies At 94 · · Score: 1

    Who played with Yes?

  12. Re:Pyro is a female! on Games Fail To Portray Gender and Ethnic Diversity · · Score: 1

    What's all the fuss? Duke Nukem is one of the best-selling game franchises ever, and she looks like every third girl down at "The Bearded Clam."

  13. Re:Interesting defense on Patent Trolls Target Small East Texas Companies · · Score: 2

    Fortunately, I have no shame.

  14. Re:Interesting defense on Patent Trolls Target Small East Texas Companies · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe he's a coyote.

  15. Re:Yawn on MAME Ported To the Dingoo A320 · · Score: 1

    Actually, it already has. There are plenty of bootleg MAME cabs out there that are running older versions with cut-down rom sets that offer a zillion games in one machine. Amusingly enough, there are forks of MAME out there that emulate these machines, so you have MAME emulating MAME emulating a game. That's so full-circle it's pretty much a Moebius strip and a divide-by-zero in one.

    Which suddenly makes me think of "My Fair Lady." /singing

    "The game in MAME is running under MAME..."

  16. Re:This doesn't make sense. on US Couple Gets Prison Time For Internet Obscenity · · Score: 1

    Bravo.

  17. Re:This is why they were prosecuted on US Couple Gets Prison Time For Internet Obscenity · · Score: 0, Redundant

    * Forced Entry[16]: The film depicts the beating, rape and murder of women by a serial killer, who is eventually killed by a mob of vigilantes.

    "Forced Entry?" I thought that it was called "Last House on the Left?"

    Oh, no, wait. You don't actually see a penis in that one, just the graphic rape and murder and torture. I certainly don't have a problem with that.

    Goooooood bless America...

  18. Re:This doesn't make sense. on US Couple Gets Prison Time For Internet Obscenity · · Score: 1

    Porn is not illegal in the US. However, there are few lawyers willing to stake their reputations by vigorously defending porn that combines graphic depictions of sexuality and violent content and few communities willing to stand up and say that that sort of thing is within their standards. "Max Hardcore" got almost 4 years in prison for producing child pornography even though the actress was over 18.

    This is America. We *love* porn... until it's the kind that doesn't turn us on. Then it's filth and should be banned.

  19. Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it on Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts · · Score: 1

    I assume the worst.

  20. Re:That's the real meaning of "voting with your fe on Amazon Cuts Off North Carolina Affiliates · · Score: 1

    Voting with your iron? Sounds like what my wife did when I told her to hurry up and get my shirt pressed. My head *still* hurts!

  21. Forget the prison sentence. on Spammer Alan Ralsky Pleads Guilty · · Score: 2, Informative

    Let's just simplify it all at no expense to the taxpayers.

    Anyone who ever got an unsolicited email from Ralsky gets one shot at him. One for each email. No weapons, no tools, nothing lethal, and no closed fists. Then he goes free.

    And then after a few million slaps to the nuts, we all jump up and go "HAHA! Don't you just HATE being misled!" and throw him in prison, take all his money, and give his cellmate (who has anger issues due to being conned in stock scams) a box containing his body weight in Viagra.

    THEN we hang him from the nearest lamp post and burn him.

  22. Re:This is how open source can make money, in fact on Sothink Violated the FlashGot GPL and Stole Code · · Score: 1

    Better yet, just make an exact copy of their website, collect enough money to get one copy of each of their programs, and get it hosted at some shitty service like GoDaddy that doesn't care *what* you do as long as the check clears. Undercut their prices by a tiny bit, spam all their forums with advertisements about "sale prices" or something, and wait until a lawyer in China tries to bring suit over here. If that's the way they want to play, play the game their way.

  23. Re:kiddie porn "research" on German Member of Parliament Joins Pirate Party · · Score: 1

    I don't find BDSM, bukkake, bestiality, snuff films and coprophagia questionable when done by consenting adults.

    You do know what snuff films are, right?

  24. Re:artistic maturity ? on Censored Video Game Content Stifles Artistry · · Score: 1

    You're expecting me to defend "Swordfish?" I couldn't do that as a director or a nerd. Gratuitous boobs *and* stupid computing? No thanks. It's enjoyable cheese, but that's pretty much it.

  25. Re:artistic maturity ? on Censored Video Game Content Stifles Artistry · · Score: 1

    It may not be "graphic" by modern standards, but I think that in 1960 it was pretty jarring to see (offscreen mostly, albeit) a nude woman stabbed 40 or 50 times and then watch her blood run down the drain. In the context of this discussion, I think that qualifies as about as graphic as it gets. And in the context of the entire film (no spoilers here, but c'mon people... it's been 50 years!) there's a sexual element to that that just can't be denied.