How about some more game plots that don't start with "Protagonist wakes up with amnesia or in prison cell (or both). He doesn't know it yet, but he is going to end up becoming the savior of the realm/planet/universe!"
The Chinese government is just fighting for consumer rights here--unless the consumer says anything bad about the Chinese government or tries to access a pro-democracy site on the internet, in which case they will be imprisoned.
I myself claimed the "most automobile wreckage ever recovered from a human rectum" record last year. Though the attempt wasn't intentional, I'm damn proud to be in such noteworthy company.
You dumbass! Don't you know that a "CDN" is a Canadian form of currency? He's saying they should have paid in Canadian dollars instead of those worthless American ones.
The biggest expense in making a DECENT short or indie today is investing in some decent acting talent and getting a crew willing to volunteer a considerable amount of time in the project (thanks to digital--cameras, film, and editing equipment is pretty negligible now). If you want to be taken seriously, my advice is DO NOT restrict your actors (especially your leads) to your friends. Even Kevin Smith (who was shooting on a micro-budget) cast Jeff Anderson and Brian O'Halloran for Clerks. Unless your friends include some experienced amateur actors (or, better yet, some professionals), you would be SERIOUSLY hampering your film with them. And it would likely lead to some hard feelings on the set when you realized that they aren't capable of delivering the performances you're looking for. It also doesn't hurt to have a crewmember who knows a little about lighting (if you don't).
As Larry Meistrich of all people could tell you, a neat trick to selling an offbeat indie movie is to make a short version first. Or just beg, borrow, and steal to get the funding yourself; make the whole feature; and THEN seek out the distributors. A finished (or at least partially finished) product can often say a lot more than any 5-minute pitch can--especially for a quirky indie.
Jane Austen adaptations are bulletproof. There are no royalties to pay the original author and the acting roles are like catnip for hot, vacuous Hollywood starlets wanting to show they're more than just a pretty face. So getting funding is just a matter of promising the studio that you can convince said starlet to show her tits in a follow-up mainstream movie. The hardest part about directing one is keeping a straight face when you tell Scarlett Johansson that she's a great dramatic actress.
I wish there were a card you could hand out to people that says basically
"Dear Script Pimp,
You're a moron. Your idea sucks. Your story is cliched. Your characters are one-dimensional. Your plot is derivative and predictable. The scale is laughably grand and would cost a fortune to produce. The fact that your script formatting is wrong and that you include things like director's notes in the script indicate that you're an amateur. You didn't even respect me enough to run it through a spell-checker. Even your mother was humoring you if she said she liked it. You have no talent. I hate you. You're not worth the celluloid it would take to strangle you. Get away from me."
Only if you give me a test-screening-audience-proof happy ending, at least one other bankable star onboard, and can guarantee Bruce some merchandising points and some major points on the backend. Bruce also wants a producer credit, of course.
He's going to get about a million pitches in the next 24 hrs., and 99.999% of them crappy space operas with one-dimensional stock characters, stories about IT managers who save the day and get the pretty girl, and a variety of Star Trek sequels. At least five of the pitches will feature the phrase "Think Star Trek meets Lord of the Rings with a Monty Python twist!"
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We could call it the mourningwoods effect. [rimshot]
There, fixed that for you.
How about some more game plots that don't start with "Protagonist wakes up with amnesia or in prison cell (or both). He doesn't know it yet, but he is going to end up becoming the savior of the realm/planet/universe!"
I just thank God there is now a MIDI File Organizer that can help me preserve my old midi's and sort them by name using a simple 22-digit ID number.
The Chinese government is just fighting for consumer rights here--unless the consumer says anything bad about the Chinese government or tries to access a pro-democracy site on the internet, in which case they will be imprisoned.
Did you know that every emergency room in the southern U.S. now how a Guinness representative on staff? I didn't until last year.
Does Google provide its employees with all the free Koolaid they can drink? Ha, didn't THINK so!
Come on, it's obvious. No one in the military can read.
I'll show all you doubters, and then Janine will take me back.
I suspect the IE team set their own Guinness World Record for "most human urine ever baked into a cake."
I myself claimed the "most automobile wreckage ever recovered from a human rectum" record last year. Though the attempt wasn't intentional, I'm damn proud to be in such noteworthy company.
You dumbass! Don't you know that a "CDN" is a Canadian form of currency? He's saying they should have paid in Canadian dollars instead of those worthless American ones.
Well, since there *was* no actual Guinness Record for this thing before, I'd say they actually broke it with the first download.
Film festivals, my friend, film festivals!
Isn't the FCC a federal agency, subject to FOIA? It's not like they can label such basic data as a state secret or something.
The biggest expense in making a DECENT short or indie today is investing in some decent acting talent and getting a crew willing to volunteer a considerable amount of time in the project (thanks to digital--cameras, film, and editing equipment is pretty negligible now). If you want to be taken seriously, my advice is DO NOT restrict your actors (especially your leads) to your friends. Even Kevin Smith (who was shooting on a micro-budget) cast Jeff Anderson and Brian O'Halloran for Clerks. Unless your friends include some experienced amateur actors (or, better yet, some professionals), you would be SERIOUSLY hampering your film with them. And it would likely lead to some hard feelings on the set when you realized that they aren't capable of delivering the performances you're looking for. It also doesn't hurt to have a crewmember who knows a little about lighting (if you don't).
As Larry Meistrich of all people could tell you, a neat trick to selling an offbeat indie movie is to make a short version first. Or just beg, borrow, and steal to get the funding yourself; make the whole feature; and THEN seek out the distributors. A finished (or at least partially finished) product can often say a lot more than any 5-minute pitch can--especially for a quirky indie.
Jane Austen adaptations are bulletproof. There are no royalties to pay the original author and the acting roles are like catnip for hot, vacuous Hollywood starlets wanting to show they're more than just a pretty face. So getting funding is just a matter of promising the studio that you can convince said starlet to show her tits in a follow-up mainstream movie. The hardest part about directing one is keeping a straight face when you tell Scarlett Johansson that she's a great dramatic actress.
That's because guys like Steven Spielberg stopped carrying the card years ago.
Somewhere Caspar Van Dien is reading your pitch and saying to himself "God, I hope Scifi buys that one. I need rent."
Here's a tip. Don't use the phrase "It's been done before. Over and over" in your pitch.
Only if you give me a test-screening-audience-proof happy ending, at least one other bankable star onboard, and can guarantee Bruce some merchandising points and some major points on the backend. Bruce also wants a producer credit, of course.
Wait, Ray Harryhausen is still ALIVE?!?!
He's going to get about a million pitches in the next 24 hrs., and 99.999% of them crappy space operas with one-dimensional stock characters, stories about IT managers who save the day and get the pretty girl, and a variety of Star Trek sequels. At least five of the pitches will feature the phrase "Think Star Trek meets Lord of the Rings with a Monty Python twist!"