Is that why you woman get so fat? But however, as I wrote in a slashdot journal last January titled A Nerd's Guide to Getting Laid, many of us WILL date heavy women!
2. Don't be picky! Face it, you're never, ever going to have sex with a supermodel. Find an ugly chick (or dork) who's likely having as much trouble getting laid as you are. Go to the library - a nerd of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're ghey) is as likely as you to want to get laid, but not be able to.
My current girlfriend weighs 300 pounds and hadn't gotten laid in six months when I met her. My last girlfriend was flat chested, bow legged, and had no teeth. There are definite psychical advantages to having a toothless girlfriend, too. If she's flat chested, two words: Doggy style.
Since you're a nerd, never forget to thank science for its advances! I'd never be able to get it up for my girlfriend if they hadn't invented viagra. Your doctor will prescribe it or give you a sample pack, just tell him you're having problems getting an erection. Just don't tell him you can't get it up because your girlfriend's butt-ugly. A side effect of viagra is it makes you onto a superlover - it turns you into the Energizer Bunny. You take the pill, she gets the benefits.
I broke up with the drunken bitch shortly afterward. Since then I've been dating prostitutes.
Fifty years? FIFTY YEARS???? I'll be dead, and none of your penises will likely work by then either. Your robot will be feeding you and changing your diaper and reminding you that your great great grandchildren are coming for a visit.
I submitted a/. journal with this comment's subject title as its title, and part of it pertains to this subject. Here is an excerpt from the linked journal
You may live in a ten by ten foot cube that appears to be the whole universe to you, and you will have no way of telling that you are not in fact outside, but imprisoned in your little cell, never meeting another real human, but interacting with robotic simulations that you will believe are human.
It may get to the point that whoever is in charge (and there have always been power-hungry busybodies) will control your reproduction, with a robotic humanoid that is indistinguishable from a human collecting your semen for whatever mate they deem most appropriate, or taking semen collected from a male in this manner and artificially inseminating you with it from the robot you think is your husband. The child you think you are raising may well be a little robot, while the real child is brought up by the robots with whatever ethics the overlords wish.
If someone finds that they are in a robot society, they may try to hack the system. They may be killed for their troubles; in fact, anyone might be killed at any time and nobody would know, since nobody will really be interacting with real humans, only robotic copies of them.
The journal starts out by pointing out that futurists have historically been consistantly wrong, and the reasons thet their predictions never pan out.
It used to be that the Federal Government set highway speed limits across the country. They still do, on the Interstates - around here I can drive 200 miles on wildly varied road conditions on the Interstate, and the speed limit is 65 the whole way. Some parts should be 80, some 50. And those numbers are only for my car, not a BMW Z3.
In the cities, I agree. Not all city limits are sane; many are for revinue generation. With all bureaucracies from government to the phone company, the PHBs have the power to override engineers.
But the highway speeds are set by the PHBs and the engineers are supposed to design the roads to accomodate them. I'm reminded of an ageing Scotty in the STNG episode about the Dyson's sphere when he's talking to Geordi about some pressurized container. The highway speeds aren't for a Lotus Formula Three but for a thirty year old Ford with loose steering, bad brakes, and bald tires on a wet, oil-slicked surface.
How about transponders every 10th mile with road design info that the car's computer multiplies with its own performance handling characteristics, and gets current weather data from sensors, and calculates a real effective speed limit for *you*?
What do you do about cars that have no computers? There are still lots of classic cars, as well as old oil-burning junkers on the road. It's an idea slightly before its time.
Also you could take that a step further and take all speed control away from the driver. Would you want that? I certainly wouldn't, although I'm still waiting for a car that will drive itself.
How is your sitting at a green light because you were in a hurry to get to the red light using highway capacity? If the light ahead is red I take my foot off the gas, if it's green I maintain speed or in some cases speed up. I'm not slowing anyone down, you leadfoots racing each other to the next red light are.
Ther eare six billion people on this planet. I'll do what I can to get along with them, but I refuse to live in fear of any of them
I do, indeed, know the consequenses of a horrible auto accident. I also know the consequenses of road rage, as my cousin's son is in prison right now for murdering someone in a fit of road rage.
Again, though, I'm not going to waste my money to avoid pissing you off. It's not my responsibility to control your anger, that's your own responsibility.
Equally as fustrating are the instances where experience tells you that it's possible to make the green at the next intersection not by going slower than posted, but around 5 over and only with little hesitation - only to be stuck behind some nub going 15 under with no possibility to pass so you know you're going to get stuck at the red
That's true. You don't save gas by driving slow, you save gas by driving at a speed that will eliminate stops. people in this cartoon town infuriate me, they race to the red lights and slow down when it's green.
Sometimes the passenger might say something about it, to which I'd reply "Do you see that light getting any greener?"
Same here, and when the light's red and they complain I say "are you in a hurry to get to that red light?"
you'll find yourself passing "Mr. Zippy" about 90% of the time.
Yes, I do find that. Too bad most people are so witless.
No, your racing to the red light contributes to the "accordion effect". When it turns green before I get to it I slide right through, and so does everyone behind me who would have been stopped otherwise.
Your poor social skills contribute to your road rage. Look at your comment, Mr. Anonymous Coward. Now you'r exhibiting Comment Rage, with the same anonymity you rely on when you're an asshole in traffic.
The fact that you're an asshole is what causes your road rage. I bet the rain pisses you off too. I suggest Zoloft, Paxil, or some other SSRI. And vitamins and sleep. And stay the hell out of your car, you're a menace to society.
You're going for fuel efficiency, many others or not.
Obviously, since they're driving S-10s, Hummers, and Escalades. They can waste all the gas they want so long as they're the ones buying it. They have no right to waste mine.
Did it mean I could leave for work ten minutes later and not have to frustrated by slow person in front of me?
No, because your speed isn't determined by the legal limit but by the lights. while you're sitting at the next green light scratching your ass you see me cruising past you right before I get in front of you AGAIN. Cue Nelson... speaking of whom, in this crazy cartoon town I live in, when the light ahead is red they race to it, but when it's green they slow down. I think people here HATE green lights.
Somebody made a joke about that once, I wish I could claim credit. For it to make much sense you have to remember that Springfield is the Capital of Illinois.
A New Yorker flies to Chicago and takes a cab. The cab driver runs a red light.
"Hey!" says the New Yorker, "That light was red!"
"S'ok" the cabbie reassures him, "I'm from Springfield." He flies past another red light.
"Hey!!!!"
"It's ok, bud, I'm from Springfield."
The light ahead turns green and the cab driver screeches to a halt.
"What did you stop for?"
"My brother's in town, he's from Springfield, too."
The minimum speed limit is 45 and the maximum is 65. If I was doing 50 in the left lane you would be right, but you're not. The only danger to my doing under the legal maximum and over the legal minimum is your impatiently following me at an unsafe distance (less than a car lenggth in many cases) waiting for the the other hotrods to finish pasing so you can speed back up to ten miles above the maximum limit.
Those minimum and maximums are set by ENGINEERS. This is slashdot, I'm sure you know what an engineer is.
Sorry, lady, YOU'RE the one creating a dangerous situation, not me. I'm within the safe 20mph zone within the minimum and maximum, and you're carelessly disregarding both the law and the engineers.
So you might just be wasting a lot of other people's gas.
If thay cared about their gasoline useage they'd slow down and drive like they had a brain.
I don't want nor need step by step walkthroughs, and I've never seen a wizard yet that wasn't brain damaged. If I want to Give me thouough documentation with a decent index. I don't care if it's electroonic or on paper, just make whatever information I need available.
That's not just the OS but all programs. And Microsoft really sucks at it, whicg is a pity, because as I said, they used to be very, very good at documentation back when the box with the OS weighed five pounds.
For an example of how incredibly stupid XP's help is I just minimized all the windows and hit F1. "If you want to connect to the Internet now, start the New Connection Wizard". Stupid fucking OS doesn't even know it's connected! Occasionally it bounces up a "helpful" balloon when I boot that informs me that there are unused icons on my desktop. I know there are; I want them there anyway. If I want to get rid of them I can hhighlight and hit the "delete" key. It's an annoyance, but the help is no help in informning me how to shut that annoying feature (I would call a design defect) down.
Why would I want video tiled betweeen monitors when I have a video card with S-Video out and an forty two inch TV with S-Video in? In Linux I can have multiple monitors, and it's had that feature for years. Amout time Microsoft started catching up with Linux!
Give me free health care and I'll gladly pay ten bucks per gallon! I have a huge chunk of my paycheck going to health insurance, my employer pays even more of that than I do (which is money he could be paying ME were we to join the civilized world and get universal health care), and I still have huge medical bills every time I go to the doctor. So I have huge health care costs yet can't afford medical care!
Between my eye implant from 2 years ago (see sig) and my torn retina (since healed) I still owe my eye surgeons hundreds of bucks.
All the Presidential candidates are talking about health care, but none of the plans they envision would get rid of the single biggest health care cost - the insurance companies. Instead, they're talking about making insurance mandatory! In the end, I'll wind up paying MORE for health care and the insurance companies with their bribes to politicians in the form of "campaign contributions" will make even more gigabucks.
At least the elderly have government funded health care like you folks do. It won't be but a decade before I'll be eligible for affordable health care!
I hate control freaks. First sale doctrine means that an author loses control over how any copy of a book is distributed once it's purchased. Stephen King may hate Amazon.com and refuse to sell his books through them, but once I've bought a copy I'll sell it through Amazon and there's nothing Mr. King can do about it, nor IMO should there be.
Slashdot Mirror
Is that why you woman get so fat? But however, as I wrote in a slashdot journal last January titled A Nerd's Guide to Getting Laid, many of us WILL date heavy women!I broke up with the drunken bitch shortly afterward. Since then I've been dating prostitutes.
-mcgrew
Ever read Isaac Asimov's Robots of Dawn?
Fifty years? FIFTY YEARS???? I'll be dead, and none of your penises will likely work by then either. Your robot will be feeding you and changing your diaper and reminding you that your great great grandchildren are coming for a visit.
Tits are for babies. The factor I'm interested in is farther down. The crack I'm addicted to is between a woman's legs.
The saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" was obviously coined by a woman. Actually the way to a man's heart is through his dick!
-mcgrew
There are exactly 10 kinds of people: those who know binary, and those who don't.
-mcgrew
Tis the season to commit suicide is not a funny one.
It used to be that the Federal Government set highway speed limits across the country. They still do, on the Interstates - around here I can drive 200 miles on wildly varied road conditions on the Interstate, and the speed limit is 65 the whole way. Some parts should be 80, some 50. And those numbers are only for my car, not a BMW Z3.
In the cities, I agree. Not all city limits are sane; many are for revinue generation. With all bureaucracies from government to the phone company, the PHBs have the power to override engineers.
But the highway speeds are set by the PHBs and the engineers are supposed to design the roads to accomodate them. I'm reminded of an ageing Scotty in the STNG episode about the Dyson's sphere when he's talking to Geordi about some pressurized container. The highway speeds aren't for a Lotus Formula Three but for a thirty year old Ford with loose steering, bad brakes, and bald tires on a wet, oil-slicked surface.
How about transponders every 10th mile with road design info that the car's computer multiplies with its own performance handling characteristics, and gets current weather data from sensors, and calculates a real effective speed limit for *you*?
What do you do about cars that have no computers? There are still lots of classic cars, as well as old oil-burning junkers on the road. It's an idea slightly before its time.
Also you could take that a step further and take all speed control away from the driver. Would you want that? I certainly wouldn't, although I'm still waiting for a car that will drive itself.
How is your sitting at a green light because you were in a hurry to get to the red light using highway capacity? If the light ahead is red I take my foot off the gas, if it's green I maintain speed or in some cases speed up. I'm not slowing anyone down, you leadfoots racing each other to the next red light are.
Ther eare six billion people on this planet. I'll do what I can to get along with them, but I refuse to live in fear of any of them
I do, indeed, know the consequenses of a horrible auto accident. I also know the consequenses of road rage, as my cousin's son is in prison right now for murdering someone in a fit of road rage.
Again, though, I'm not going to waste my money to avoid pissing you off. It's not my responsibility to control your anger, that's your own responsibility.
Since when is it considered a /. party foul to ask someone to back up a contentious claim?
Never. But you found the references ok.
I don't piss people off on purpose, but I'm not going to waste my gas or money avoiding it either.
But it's a damned funny acronym though.
Equally as fustrating are the instances where experience tells you that it's possible to make the green at the next intersection not by going slower than posted, but around 5 over and only with little hesitation - only to be stuck behind some nub going 15 under with no possibility to pass so you know you're going to get stuck at the red
That's true. You don't save gas by driving slow, you save gas by driving at a speed that will eliminate stops. people in this cartoon town infuriate me, they race to the red lights and slow down when it's green.
Sometimes the passenger might say something about it, to which I'd reply "Do you see that light getting any greener?"
Same here, and when the light's red and they complain I say "are you in a hurry to get to that red light?"
you'll find yourself passing "Mr. Zippy" about 90% of the time.
Yes, I do find that. Too bad most people are so witless.
No, your racing to the red light contributes to the "accordion effect". When it turns green before I get to it I slide right through, and so does everyone behind me who would have been stopped otherwise.
Your poor social skills contribute to your road rage. Look at your comment, Mr. Anonymous Coward. Now you'r exhibiting Comment Rage, with the same anonymity you rely on when you're an asshole in traffic.
The fact that you're an asshole is what causes your road rage. I bet the rain pisses you off too. I suggest Zoloft, Paxil, or some other SSRI. And vitamins and sleep. And stay the hell out of your car, you're a menace to society.
Dude, it was a JOKE. Lighten up.
You're going for fuel efficiency, many others or not.
Obviously, since they're driving S-10s, Hummers, and Escalades. They can waste all the gas they want so long as they're the ones buying it. They have no right to waste mine.
Did it mean I could leave for work ten minutes later and not have to frustrated by slow person in front of me?
No, because your speed isn't determined by the legal limit but by the lights. while you're sitting at the next green light scratching your ass you see me cruising past you right before I get in front of you AGAIN. Cue Nelson... speaking of whom, in this crazy cartoon town I live in, when the light ahead is red they race to it, but when it's green they slow down. I think people here HATE green lights.
Somebody made a joke about that once, I wish I could claim credit. For it to make much sense you have to remember that Springfield is the Capital of Illinois.
A New Yorker flies to Chicago and takes a cab. The cab driver runs a red light.
"Hey!" says the New Yorker, "That light was red!"
"S'ok" the cabbie reassures him, "I'm from Springfield." He flies past another red light.
"Hey!!!!"
"It's ok, bud, I'm from Springfield."
The light ahead turns green and the cab driver screeches to a halt.
"What did you stop for?"
"My brother's in town, he's from Springfield, too."
I didn't think our world image could get worse. I was wrong...
Just when you thnk things can't possibly get any worse, they always do.
-mcgrew
There's no way even a complete idiot could confuse them
Huh? I'm so confused!
-mcgrew
Dude, there was a front page slashdot article about that just a few days ago! Ty;e "mars" in that little search box thing at the top of th epage.
Yes, I know what "estimate" means. Have you heard that they're talking of revising the estimates downward to match how most idiots drive?
The minimum speed limit is 45 and the maximum is 65. If I was doing 50 in the left lane you would be right, but you're not. The only danger to my doing under the legal maximum and over the legal minimum is your impatiently following me at an unsafe distance (less than a car lenggth in many cases) waiting for the the other hotrods to finish pasing so you can speed back up to ten miles above the maximum limit.
Those minimum and maximums are set by ENGINEERS. This is slashdot, I'm sure you know what an engineer is.
Sorry, lady, YOU'RE the one creating a dangerous situation, not me. I'm within the safe 20mph zone within the minimum and maximum, and you're carelessly disregarding both the law and the engineers.
So you might just be wasting a lot of other people's gas.
If thay cared about their gasoline useage they'd slow down and drive like they had a brain.
I don't want nor need step by step walkthroughs, and I've never seen a wizard yet that wasn't brain damaged. If I want to Give me thouough documentation with a decent index. I don't care if it's electroonic or on paper, just make whatever information I need available.
That's not just the OS but all programs. And Microsoft really sucks at it, whicg is a pity, because as I said, they used to be very, very good at documentation back when the box with the OS weighed five pounds.
For an example of how incredibly stupid XP's help is I just minimized all the windows and hit F1. "If you want to connect to the Internet now, start the New Connection Wizard". Stupid fucking OS doesn't even know it's connected! Occasionally it bounces up a "helpful" balloon when I boot that informs me that there are unused icons on my desktop. I know there are; I want them there anyway. If I want to get rid of them I can hhighlight and hit the "delete" key. It's an annoyance, but the help is no help in informning me how to shut that annoying feature (I would call a design defect) down.
Just shoddy.
Why would I want video tiled betweeen monitors when I have a video card with S-Video out and an forty two inch TV with S-Video in? In Linux I can have multiple monitors, and it's had that feature for years. Amout time Microsoft started catching up with Linux!
Give me free health care and I'll gladly pay ten bucks per gallon! I have a huge chunk of my paycheck going to health insurance, my employer pays even more of that than I do (which is money he could be paying ME were we to join the civilized world and get universal health care), and I still have huge medical bills every time I go to the doctor. So I have huge health care costs yet can't afford medical care!
Between my eye implant from 2 years ago (see sig) and my torn retina (since healed) I still owe my eye surgeons hundreds of bucks.
All the Presidential candidates are talking about health care, but none of the plans they envision would get rid of the single biggest health care cost - the insurance companies. Instead, they're talking about making insurance mandatory! In the end, I'll wind up paying MORE for health care and the insurance companies with their bribes to politicians in the form of "campaign contributions" will make even more gigabucks.
At least the elderly have government funded health care like you folks do. It won't be but a decade before I'll be eligible for affordable health care!
I hate control freaks. First sale doctrine means that an author loses control over how any copy of a book is distributed once it's purchased. Stephen King may hate Amazon.com and refuse to sell his books through them, but once I've bought a copy I'll sell it through Amazon and there's nothing Mr. King can do about it, nor IMO should there be.