Domain: bullyonline.org
Stories and comments across the archive that link to bullyonline.org.
Comments · 12
-
Re:Thanks
"It's called leadership."
It's called psychosis. Get used to it maggots, that's the way the world works. Do better when it's you.
-
Re:Well...
No-one's posted this yet, so here you are:
http://www.bullyonline.org/
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm -
Re:Well...
No-one's posted this yet, so here you are:
http://www.bullyonline.org/
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm -
Re:You do
Amen. Always bear in mind:
"The HR profession seems to attract a number of people who are not people-focused and thus not good at dealing with people problems.
HR is not there for employees. The role of HR is to keep the employer out of court.
[...]
When push comes to shove, HR do what they are told to do by management, regardless of the rights and wrongs."
from http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/faq.htm -
They only do it because they won't get caught
Like most bullies these guys also usually turn out to be inveterate cowards, they'll stab/shoot you in the back without a thought as long as there's no risk to them, but face up to them, they snivel and whine about how unfair it all is.
There's a good description here, it fits a couple of people I know.
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm -
Compulsary schooling creates victims and bullies
See John Taylor Gatto:
"The Underground History of American Education: A Schoolteacher's Intimate Investigation
Into The Problem Of Modern Schooling"
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/index.h tm
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/toc1.ht m
For example:
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/2e.htm
"I have little doubt the fantastic wealth of American big business is psychologically and procedurally grounded in our form of schooling. The training field for these grotesque human qualities is the classroom. Schools train individuals to respond as a mass. Boys and girls are drilled in being bored, frightened, envious, emotionally needy, generally incomplete. A successful mass production economy requires such a clientele. A small business, small farm economy like that of the Amish requires individual competence, thoughtfulness, compassion, and universal participation; our own requires a managed mass of leveled, spiritless, anxious, familyless, friendless, godless, and obedient people who believe the difference between Cheers and Seinfeld is a subject worth arguing about."
The biggest problem with compulsary "public" education is that unlike "public" libraries, you can't (easily) escape by just walking out the door. (Well, you could for a day or two and then the police machinery related to truancy will start grinding on you, unless it is appeased in other ways.) Most "private" education is little better in the compulsary aspects or preventing bullying.
While this may seem paradoxical, as you continue your quest for spritiual growth, consider the idea that the bullies you faced are in some sense just as much victims of those systems as you were.
A good resource:
http://www.bullyonline.org/
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/myths.htm
Example from the myths page: "Children have it drummed into them from the moment they are born that they must not hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, pull, push, poke or use any form of physical violence. Children are often punished - sometimes brutally and humiliatingly - for exhibiting any form of violent behaviour. Some adults then criticise children for not using violence when faced with a thug. Child targets of bullying also know (better than adults) that if they retaliate physically, the bully will feign victimhood (often with a convincing flood of tears) and the responsible adults will be fooled into believing that the target is the bully and the bully is the target. The (real) target is then punished by the adults whilst the bully looks on, enjoying every moment. Once the adults turn their backs, the bully starts on their target again. Targets are also people with high moral integrity, a well-developed sense of moral values, and a clear understanding of the need to resolve conflict with dialogue. This is how we teach children to behave and how society demands that children behave. We should therefore not be surprised when targets of bullying display their maturity by going to great lengths to resolve the violent acts committed towards them with dialogue rather than with fists or feet. Trying to resolving conflict with dialogue is a hallmark of integrity and strength of character. Bullying is a hallmark of lack of integrity and weakness of character." -
Compulsary schooling creates victims and bullies
See John Taylor Gatto:
"The Underground History of American Education: A Schoolteacher's Intimate Investigation
Into The Problem Of Modern Schooling"
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/index.h tm
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/toc1.ht m
For example:
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/2e.htm
"I have little doubt the fantastic wealth of American big business is psychologically and procedurally grounded in our form of schooling. The training field for these grotesque human qualities is the classroom. Schools train individuals to respond as a mass. Boys and girls are drilled in being bored, frightened, envious, emotionally needy, generally incomplete. A successful mass production economy requires such a clientele. A small business, small farm economy like that of the Amish requires individual competence, thoughtfulness, compassion, and universal participation; our own requires a managed mass of leveled, spiritless, anxious, familyless, friendless, godless, and obedient people who believe the difference between Cheers and Seinfeld is a subject worth arguing about."
The biggest problem with compulsary "public" education is that unlike "public" libraries, you can't (easily) escape by just walking out the door. (Well, you could for a day or two and then the police machinery related to truancy will start grinding on you, unless it is appeased in other ways.) Most "private" education is little better in the compulsary aspects or preventing bullying.
While this may seem paradoxical, as you continue your quest for spritiual growth, consider the idea that the bullies you faced are in some sense just as much victims of those systems as you were.
A good resource:
http://www.bullyonline.org/
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/myths.htm
Example from the myths page: "Children have it drummed into them from the moment they are born that they must not hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, pull, push, poke or use any form of physical violence. Children are often punished - sometimes brutally and humiliatingly - for exhibiting any form of violent behaviour. Some adults then criticise children for not using violence when faced with a thug. Child targets of bullying also know (better than adults) that if they retaliate physically, the bully will feign victimhood (often with a convincing flood of tears) and the responsible adults will be fooled into believing that the target is the bully and the bully is the target. The (real) target is then punished by the adults whilst the bully looks on, enjoying every moment. Once the adults turn their backs, the bully starts on their target again. Targets are also people with high moral integrity, a well-developed sense of moral values, and a clear understanding of the need to resolve conflict with dialogue. This is how we teach children to behave and how society demands that children behave. We should therefore not be surprised when targets of bullying display their maturity by going to great lengths to resolve the violent acts committed towards them with dialogue rather than with fists or feet. Trying to resolving conflict with dialogue is a hallmark of integrity and strength of character. Bullying is a hallmark of lack of integrity and weakness of character." -
Compulsary schooling creates victims and bullies
See John Taylor Gatto:
"The Underground History of American Education: A Schoolteacher's Intimate Investigation
Into The Problem Of Modern Schooling"
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/index.h tm
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/toc1.ht m
For example:
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/2e.htm
"I have little doubt the fantastic wealth of American big business is psychologically and procedurally grounded in our form of schooling. The training field for these grotesque human qualities is the classroom. Schools train individuals to respond as a mass. Boys and girls are drilled in being bored, frightened, envious, emotionally needy, generally incomplete. A successful mass production economy requires such a clientele. A small business, small farm economy like that of the Amish requires individual competence, thoughtfulness, compassion, and universal participation; our own requires a managed mass of leveled, spiritless, anxious, familyless, friendless, godless, and obedient people who believe the difference between Cheers and Seinfeld is a subject worth arguing about."
The biggest problem with compulsary "public" education is that unlike "public" libraries, you can't (easily) escape by just walking out the door. (Well, you could for a day or two and then the police machinery related to truancy will start grinding on you, unless it is appeased in other ways.) Most "private" education is little better in the compulsary aspects or preventing bullying.
While this may seem paradoxical, as you continue your quest for spritiual growth, consider the idea that the bullies you faced are in some sense just as much victims of those systems as you were.
A good resource:
http://www.bullyonline.org/
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/myths.htm
Example from the myths page: "Children have it drummed into them from the moment they are born that they must not hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, pull, push, poke or use any form of physical violence. Children are often punished - sometimes brutally and humiliatingly - for exhibiting any form of violent behaviour. Some adults then criticise children for not using violence when faced with a thug. Child targets of bullying also know (better than adults) that if they retaliate physically, the bully will feign victimhood (often with a convincing flood of tears) and the responsible adults will be fooled into believing that the target is the bully and the bully is the target. The (real) target is then punished by the adults whilst the bully looks on, enjoying every moment. Once the adults turn their backs, the bully starts on their target again. Targets are also people with high moral integrity, a well-developed sense of moral values, and a clear understanding of the need to resolve conflict with dialogue. This is how we teach children to behave and how society demands that children behave. We should therefore not be surprised when targets of bullying display their maturity by going to great lengths to resolve the violent acts committed towards them with dialogue rather than with fists or feet. Trying to resolving conflict with dialogue is a hallmark of integrity and strength of character. Bullying is a hallmark of lack of integrity and weakness of character." -
Bullying
The Bully Online site may be of interest.
I think that a lot of people who are called psychopaths are "just" narcissists. They're still inconceivably awful.
The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five or more of:
1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
-
Re:Actually, you do illustrate just the pointWhile you make some interesting points, I think there are more important issues then "you should do homework, everyone else does it and so should you". Not every student is the same, not every student is able to learn the same way. Teachers need to be able to tailor lessons to different individuals. Stuff like homework shouldn't be mandatory. It serves no purpose other then forcing kids to spend their night working, after spending the entire day at school working. How about some down time?
I never liked homework, but then again, I was too busy trying to avoid being abused. Not everyone is "blessed" with good parents and a nice house and kids like myself have real life problems to deal with on a daily basis that are more important then homework. When you're too worried about being bullied at school or beaten at home, how can you learn in that environment?
Some kids are poor and struggling to survive, some kids are victims of abuse, everyone is going through different levels of problems. Myself and many other kids already suffer enough depression and stress as it is, we don't need to be worrying about getting homework done on time. So the kids with a "good life" get good grades while us with more important issues on our minds suffer?
Schools need to be more supportive of different individuals needs, not everyone is able to learn the same way. I was bullied alot in school, and I hated having to do a public speech in class more then anything, to the point where I was so nervous and afraid of being ridiculed, that I would throw up. Bullying in schools breeds these types of problems, where people are unable to learn. I first tried to kill myself when I was 13, because I'd rather die then deal with bullies and school.
Sure, some kids are just lazy and don't want to do the homework, but it is alot more then just being lazy. In my opinion, the current education system is broken. Schools do little to nothing to help students in need, they breed kids like the two shooters of columbine, who were bullied to the point where they "snap". I wish we lived in a fairy tale land, where everyone was able to do homework, sign songs and be happy, but the reality is far from that.
Maybe you should research bullying sometime and see why homework isn't that important.
People who are bullied have many common characteristics including an unwillingness to resort to violence (or legal action) to resolve conflict, and a tendency to internalise anger rather than express it outwardly. Focusing anger inward is a recognised cause of depression. Bullying is perpetrated over a long period of time, perhaps measured in years, and the internalised anger builds to the point where one of these three occur:
* the target starts to exhibit all the symptoms of stress as the internal pressure causes the body to go out of stasis (this happens in every case)
* the target focuses the anger onto themselves and self-harms, either by using drugs (usually alcohol), or by attempting or committing suicide (the UK has the highest suicide rate in Europe)
* in rare cases, and the target "flips" and starts to exhibit the same behaviours as the bully; in extremely rare but well-publicised cases, the target returns to the workplace to carry out a spree killing
Take note of the last two points. 1) People kill themselves, 2) People "flip" and kill others, *cough* Columbine. My main point is, there are more important issues then doing homework, and schools should be teaching howto to cope with those issues instead of handing out meaningless workloads. -
Re:Kids need to deal with it!
Far better is to gather as much evidence as possible (dates,times,numbers etc..) and submit it to the appropriate service provider. In all cases, the offending party will more than likely have their service disconnected (nothing like a $100 reconnection charge), and a squad car parked outside their front door for an evening. UK research has shown that people who are bullies at school are more likely to become criminals as adults. Here are a good few web pages which provide professional advice:
Bullying.co.uk
BullyOnline.org
Schoolyard Bullying Goes High Tech
The UK also has a Protection from Harassment Act
Textually -
Re:No excitement here
My words exactly!
Very nearly. I'm an antimodernist who rejects the ways of the world around me. I like cuddles and caring for those younger than me, my European cultural heritage, sweet movies like Whale Rider (the best movie ever!), and not being like obnoxious twentysomethings who watch WWF and cannot love. I have got Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome bourne of severe mistreatment and other events during my childhood. I'm out of sync with a modernist world that mistreats me and all I care for, meaning I cannot warm to it, and a postmodernist illusion which I see through like glass. I left school before I was 15, and taught myself how to spell. I've had people try to kill me multiple times, my former classmates would have been glad to see me dead.
I thought guys like you and me were all but extinct?
-H
You could say I'm fairly unusual. What of you?