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When Sun Microsystems was circling the drain, the CEO - MyLittlePony - figured monthly reorganizations could be used to hide layoffs.

Playing games with version numbers in the face of declining sales might have been the first symptom of MyLittlePony disease at Sun, as Solaris 2.5 went to Solaris 8, which was really Solaris 2.8, just like Solaris 11 is really Solaris 2.11.

Fake Steve Jobs for chairman.

Fake Steve Jobs will be pissed that there is now competition!

There were some wonderfully brutal posts about him in the Fake Steve Jobs blog.

FIRST TO SAY:

I nominate FAKE STEVE JOBS as his immediate replacement!

This reminds me of the craziest idea Ballmer has ever heard

Is the CEO of the Fake Apple Stores Fake Steve Jobs?

And I enjoyed your rebuttal :-)

RE my joke that fell on "deaf ears" - "hey man, I actually READ it, with my EYES dude, and I'm not deaf!" :-) -, I'd consider blind obedience to anything or anyone A Bad Thing.

RE "software lockin", by all means, if you want to teach children on the OLPC, be our guest! Imagine that thing next to an iPad... :-) Another joke, from Fake Steve - "you fanboy!!!!!!" :-) - http://www.fakesteve.net/2007/11/olpc-smash-hit-among-pilot-customers.html

Nothing is "limitless", but there I go playing the pedant.

I mentioned all devices breaking over time, I specifically mentioned "drop-ability" of an iPad in case VS a netbook being the same, although I stand by my theory a dropped netbook would be easier to damage, especially if the screen was open, as opposed to a slim, light solid device like a tablet. A device with hinges, ports all over the place, vents, screws... far more points of failure than a device with a breakable screen, and one major docking port at the bottom. I hope to have further infuriated/humoured you with this paragraph! :-)

Rather than debate back and forth with someone on the other side of the world, who owns the device in question, who likes it very much for his usage, and enjoys seeing the poorest school in his area giving all students such a device, when his "not as bad" school had shit, broken computers for his schoolyears, why not visit a nearby school where each student has an iPad of their own? Ask to sit in on a class, or for a teacher to show you the apps used some time convenient. I wont be at all amazed if you appreciate the device on its own merits, having seen a class in session.

In the immortal words of Fake Steve Jobs:

Ever read a book called “What Makes Sammy Run?” about the world’s biggest scumbag, a Hollywood schemer named Sammy Glick? Well, Sammy Glick had nothing on Eric Schmidt. I’m still kind of stunned because the guy just called me to talk about Nexus One and he’s acting like there’s no problem. Or maybe he knows there’s a problem and he’s just calling to see what I’ll say, like he’s daring me to call him on out on this, because honestly that is the kind of sick sadistic twisted little fuck he is. He’s got zero shame. None. Zero.

And I know I should just be all cool and say nothing about any of that and just pretend I’m busy and don’t have time to chat, but somehow this sleazy fucker gets to me and I just lose my Zen and start giving him shit.

I’m like, Dude, do you not remember all that stuff you told me about not making a phone, back when you were still not recusing yourself from iPhone discussions during board meetings? You swore, and I mean you looked me in the eye and swore, that you would never make a phone. He says, We’re not making a phone. HTC is making it.

I told him if he wanted to use that line on the retards in the hackery that’s one thing but please don’t insult me with it. He goes, Okay, it’s our phone. But we’re just trying to give consumers more choice and grow the ecosystem by forming strategic partnerships and enhancing the value of the user experience by promoting openness and innovation to create solutions that better address user needs because at the end of the day Google’s mission is to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.

I’m like, What did you just say? He goes, I have no idea. I’m reading it from a card here on my desk.

So I ask him what about all the crap he told me about how they weren’t ever going to build a phone, and he says, At the time I made those statements, they were true. I wasn’t lying.

This is how Eric talks. It’s amazing.

http://www.fakesteve.net/2010/01/im-trying-to-remember-how-many-times-eric-swore-to-me-that-google-would-never-make-a-phone.html

So, Fake Steve Jobs, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?'"

If Fake Steve Jobs lives outside of California, who cares?

It's the Three Stooges of executive sexual harassment.

"Imagine those three on a business trip to, I don't know, Thailand."

"Hey Mark! I'm tryin' to think but nothin' happens! Nyuk nyuk nyuk."

There is no reception problem./a>

'Where the hell did that come from?'

Direct advice from Steve:

'First of all, this is not a big issue. If you're experiencing this, most likely it's not the phone at all -- most likely you're just living in a place where there's bad reception, in which case the solution is simple: you need to move.

Or maybe you're living in a place with good reception but you just need to buy a bumper for your phone and/or wear latex gloves while holding the phone.'

http://www.fakesteve.net/2010/06/you-assholes-need-to-stop-sending-emails-to-me-about-this-antenna-issue.html

Britain's National Health Service has 1.3 million employees. Number of suicides last year involving NHS workers jumping from NHS buildings: zero. Indian Railways has 1.6 million employees. Can you recall the last time 10 or 15 of them threw themselves under trains over the course of a few months? Deutsche Post has half a million employees. Ever heard a story about a dozen of them hurling themselves into letter-sorting machines?

And yes, France Telecom did have a suicide epidemic last year. Guess what. Nobody went around saying that it was no big deal because it was still below the national average in France -- instead the official explanation was that the suicides were caused by brutal management harassing workers. The Sarkozy administration took this seriously and got involved and at France Telecom a top executive actually resigned because of the tragedy.

All I can say is the French are just such huge pussies. [...]

The rest of Fake Steve's article can be found here.

If you want to compare rates of suicides at the workplace, compare rates of suicides at the ***workplace***. Jumping is a very gruesome way to die. Also, jumping from your own office building, when done willingly, is a very public statement.

And by the way, all those nine workers (including the one who signed the no-suicide contract) have chosen to jump to their deaths on premises in the exact same way in a span of five months, not twelve. Furthermore, suicide rates per country include young teenagers killing themselves and old people killing themselves (as in euthanasia). Whatever makes those stats look bigger, that's why they're included, even if one could argue that euthanasia should not be included, because the bigger those suicide stats are, the higher the government funding ends up being. And you take away these two populations, you have a much-much lower rate of suicides overall.

In any case, if you really want to compare suicide rates on premises between companies, see these examples of much much larger companies with zero rates of suicides. And yes, I understand the problem of estimating randomness and simulating the flip of a coin, but nevertheless, even if you don't completely believe me, I'm suggesting that you not mindlessly repeat the FoxConn/Apple PR report that's being parroted over the news.

You read Fake Steve! He totally called it that people would be saying this.

John Gruber has already started. Gotta love that guy.

The "ballster" picture is my favourite.

Since his site is down, I guess AT&T has launched it's own DDoS, or at least a DoS. When you're as big as ATT, you don't really need much help from others. Just point an OC-768 at them and run "ab -c 999999 -n 999999999999999 https://www.fakesteve.net/"

What Fake Steve said

Here is a nice summary, including how the Times did a piece and completely (well, almost completely) left out all the scamy behavior from their article.
http://www.fakesteve.net/2009/11/why-mainstream-media-is-dying.html

Best response thus far: http://www.fakesteve.net/2009/08/likely-illegal-bitch-please.html. Glad he's back, honestly.