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I'll start by asking: what do you with the kid if Hitler is cloned?

The film and music industry is prepared for that:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_Saved_Hitler's_Brain

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/angrysamoans/theysavedhitlerscock.html

So, I guess we'll finally here the truth from the government on why aliens from Area 51 made so many homosexuals?

You're not supposed to take that song seriously! More on-topic than Stuart would be Mojo Nixon's Elvis Is Everywhere .

Elvis is everywhere, man!
He's in everything.
He's in everybody...

Elvis is in your jeans.
He's in your cheesburgers
Elvis is in Nutty Buddies!
Elvis is in your mom!

He's in everybody.
He's in the young, the old,
the fat, the skinny,
the white, the black
the brown and the bluepeople got Elvis in 'em too

Elvis is in everybody out there.
Everybody's got Elvis in them!
Everybody except one person that is...
Yeah, one person!
The evil opposite of Elvis.
The Anti-Elvis

Anti-Elvis got no Elvis in 'em,
lemme tell ya.

Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.

<snip>

Yeah man, you know people from outer space,people from outer space they come up to me.
They don't look like like Doctor Spock.
They don't look like Klingons,
all that Star Trek jive.

They look like Elvis.
ELVIS!
Everybody in outer space looks like Elvis.
Cause Elvis is a perfect being.
We are all moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness

Soon all will become Elvis.
Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
It's really Elvislution!
Elvislution!

For those unassociated with Mojo Nixon and the Dead Milkmen, the Dead Milkmen are a humorous punk rock band, while Mojo Nixon is a humorous Punk Country boy.

Before you dismiss this guy as just another homophobic troll read this;

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/deadmilkmen/stuart.html

oh, and watch out for that Johnny Werzner kid.

Obligatory theme song.

How many times are we going to keep seeing this meme, about Microsoft needing to bribe people to use their products?

"Microsoft Bribing Bloggers With Laptops":

http://slashdot.org/articles/06/12/27/1423234.shtm l

"Microsoft Financial Incentives for Live Search Data":

http://slashdot.org/articles/07/03/17/035227.shtml

And now this Zune one. Any other examples?

It must be nice to have billions of dollars of extra cash to be able to spend on bribes to try to buy market share, but that doesn't seem like a winning long-term business strategy. Surely the financial analysts will see through the bankruptcy of these tactics?

Apple's advertisements just utterly nailed Microsoft's lack of cool. Microsoft is like that annoying boorish nebbishy kid in the neighborhood who wants so badly to fit in and just annoys everybody by mimicking what they do, and then winds up "buying" friends ("I'll let you have my Robo-puppy 2000 if you'll play with me")

Hey Microsoft? Go home. Grow up. Get cool. And then come back and play. If the legal system is going to anthropomorphisize companies as though they are individuals, well, then Microsoft, you are such an out-of-touch individual, it's getting embarassing. "Squirting"??? "The social"??? It's like that guy in the Offspring song who was pretty fly for a white guy:

"He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice.
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice.
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass.
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass."

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/offspring/prettyflyf orawhiteguy.html

Microsoft, Apple and Google are kicking your lilly ass.

Or anti-globalists or anyone with over 100 IQ who might try to change things. The current power structure has proven they will take everything as far as they can until someone does something to stop them. They are not stopping within the boundaries of the law.

Does this mean that I can break the law? Can I claim personal security if I go and shoot everyone I THINK might be a threat to me someday? Can I open my neighbor's mail because I think they might want to rob my house? It doesn't make sense. Surely my personal security is more important than that of the state. What is the state but a lot of ME'S. I think it's coming to the point where the sum of all parts is NOT greater than the one.

And so we go, on with our lives
We know the truth, but prefer lies
Lies are simple, simple is bliss
Why go against tradition when we can
Admit defeat, live in decline
Be the victim of our own design
The status quo, built on suspect
Why would anyone stick out their neck?

NoFX, The Decline

Poetry like, say, "Shed Reading (Rattus Norvegicus)" by Black Flag, in which an expressive rat bemoans his fate.

I'm not ashamed to say I considered buying gold in WoW.

I'm sure some homosexual men would pay gold to cyber with you in game. I'm sure you'd like it too, you dirty faggot.

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Because catskins are free.

I wouldn't worry too much about those left-handed redheaded midget Mac users. It's Sarah Jane and the other 400 members of the Lesbian midget Eskimo Albino Student Union you need to worry about. This will explain everything...

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/deadmilkmen/stuart.h tml

not to mention a coheed and cambria song based on the series. this is a hidden track on the cd "second stage turbine blade."

A bastardized version of Crass' Bloody Revolutions

You talk of overthrowing power with violence as your tool
You speak of liberation and when the people rule
Well ain't it people rule right now, what difference would there be?
Just another set of bigots with their rifle-sights on me

But what about those people who don't want your new restrictions?
Those that disagree with you and have their own convictions?
You say they've got it wrong because they don't agree with you
So when the revolution comes you'll have to run them through
You say that revolution will bring freedom for us all
Well freedom just ain't freedom when your back's against the wall

Will you indoctrinate the masses to serve your new regime?
And simply do away with those whose views are too extreme?
Transportation details could be left to British rail
Where Zyklon B succeeded, North Sea Gas will fail
It's just the same old story of man destroying man
We've got to look for other answers to the problems of this land

Vive la revolution, people of the world unite
Stand up men of courage, it's your job to fight

I'm not sure how into the indie rock scene the slashdot crowd is, but Coheed and Cambria has a song called "I, Robot." [plyrics.com] I always thought it was a wierd song, but maybe this is what it's based on.

They're a cool band. I heard they're actually making a comic book to go along with their latest album [amazon.com]. Just thought I'd point that out.

In Russia we are not allowed to use the terms sub-merging or submission.

"i know she's only 12...
i can't get anyone else...
i know she's only 12...
but she looks 13"
~Jeffries Fan Club - "12"
i suggest you all download this humorous song off of kazaa...

anyway...
they paid for kazaa...
so they thought they were leagally in the right...
no jury would convict her