Slashdot Mirror

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com],
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx]
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx]
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx]
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net]
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]'
originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx]
practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have
homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs
on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator [hitler.org].

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it
contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx]
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org],
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman [geocities.com].

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed
of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from
hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman,
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis, glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot'
originally referred to a homosexual
practice. Slashdot of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have
homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot runs
on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus,
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h,
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee,
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it
contains hidden homosexual messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase,
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord's work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

it could learn from python's historical mistakes, like type vs. class and ref counting gc

On the side note, Python learns from them itself.

Other scripting languages have really hit a wall in development because of the objectless syntax, but ruby, is a piece of work.

Yeah, I can see your point. The other languages have a totally objectless syntax!

Too bad they have all hit a wall.

Other scripting languages have really hit a wall in development because of the objectless syntax, but ruby, is a piece of work.

Yeah, I can see your point. The other languages have a totally objectless syntax!

Too bad they have all hit a wall.

Guido couldn't release it under the GPL, because it wasn't entirely "his" software to license.

More correctly, Guido didn't want to license Python under the GPL, but did want it to be able to be integrated with GPLed software, as well as software under virtually any sort of license.

(25 pages of Python license history snipped... see the full scoop for the current license.)

It does excellent job on its part. There is also some documentation on the site, including one of the creators' Ph. D. thesis that explains some of the theory behind the software. On Linux it requires gcc and GNU Fortran complier to compile (compilation is pretty straightforward).

I also found GNU awk extremely useful at numerical data analysis. You also would want to include Python and NumPy - python extension for numerical computations.

HTH

Alex

Disregarding the fact that Java and C# are both "closed" languages controlled by large corporate entities with their own self-interests in mind, they both do an admirable job of bridging the gap between general purpose scripting languages and C++. Having used C# and Java on Win32 extensively in the past year, I have become accustomed to the automatic garbage collection, quick execution speed, and logically consistent design of both languages. The Windows compilers / runtime engines for both languages are quite amazing, and something for the fledgling gcj to aspire to.

Although C# does deliver superior integration with Windows and .net (which is good for MS-only developers and bad for multiplatform programmers like myself), I'd have to pick Java if it was up to me just because of its sheer elegance. It seems like Sun did a better job designing a general-purpose language (applet "security" extensions aside), and Microsoft just tried to copy Java but add in proprietary extensions to hook C# into Windows. Thus, some of the C# features seem to be "bolted on", whereas most of Java came across as being very natural to me.

Just my 2c...

~wally

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

I think I'll stick to Python and Jython.

Use Python. My bro wrote an Othello game for the SGI/Python, ported it to Windows with a single color change. Damn near wet myself seeing the same thing on two *radically* different systems.

Write your app in python, but extend it with C/C++ libraries. Extending with C is easy, use SWIG, which rocks, ignore previous poster. From download to running application in 5 languages was literally fifteen minutes (gd library, Python and Java).

Likewise, embedding is easy: write your application in C/C++ *which calls Python*, then replace Python on an as-needed basis. Develop quickly using an interactive language, then replace them once the algorithms get solid and boring.

This technique gives you a substantial, clean library system; interactivity; portability; etc. It's also easy to replace sections or the whole thing if the PHBs get on your case.

Python rocks!

We shipped the final version of ScriptX, and Kaleida closed in January of 1996. Apple said they were going to support it at first, then swept it under the rug. Now you can't find anything about ScriptX on Apple's or IBM's web sites.

Python and Zope are clearly the coolest dynamic cross platform open source programming environments happening today.

-Don

The ScriptX parser allowed you to type in a straightforward javascript-like syntax, with traditional infix notation, precedence rules and other additional syntactic sugar.

The parser transformed text into a parse tree, that was like Lisp s-expressions. ScriptX macros operated in terms of those parse trees, not the surface syntax. So internally it even had "downward passing" continuations (that you couldn't pass outside of the scope they were created), but the parse trees were compiled into a byte code, not unlike the Java virtual machine (which explains why it didn't support fully general continuations).

So you could implement any number of different surface syntaxes for ScriptX, by writing different parsers. My trusty Kaleida colleague DanFuzz wrote a traditional Scheme parser for ScriptX.

ScriptX was a lot like Dylan with a cross platform multimedia class library. It was essentially a Lisp-like language, designed around an object system and class library, more dynamic like CLOS than static like Java. Unlike Java, all data types including integers and arrays are first class objects.

ScriptX had a rich set of polymorphic container classes, much more dynamic than STL, that made heavy use of multiple inheritance.

The container classes (like arrays and maps) were supported by the language sytax, and mixed into many system classes, so you could easily treat windows as arrays, looping over their subwindows, filtering collections of objects through functions and type conversions with "pipes", mix collections into your own classes so they're easy to use through well supported interfaces, etc.

ScriptX had built-in high level time synchronization and graphics classes, including QuickTime movies, sprite graphics like Director, and vector graphics similar to Flash.

One of the great things about ScriptX, which also applies to CLOS and Dylan which inspired it, is its wonderful dynamic objects system. Programming in C++ and STL is totally miserable after having been exposed to ScriptX and CLOS.

For example, I subclassed ScriptX container classes like Array to implement ScriptX Classes for automatically generating HTML, that macros can plug together like legos and dynamically expand into complex web pages.

The ScriptX Tracking Service is a good example of using multiple inheritance with the container and presentation classes.

There's an abstract class called Tracker (that inherits only from RootObject): "This mixin class gives an object the ability to track the mouse, by participating in the tracking service protocol. You can mix Tracker in with presentation and model objects to implement all kinds of direct manipulation interfaces.".

The abstract Tracker class is subclassed by the concrete leaf class TrackerCachedPresenter, and also by another abstract class, TrackerMulti, which implement the recursive tracking protocol. TrackerMulti is then mixed down into concrete with the various container presentation classes TrackerMultiPresenter, TrackerGroupPresenter and TrackerTwoDSpace.

ScriptX was great fun to think and program in. It was an ideal language for developing an open ended platform for plugging together dynamically loaded interactive multimedia objects like Legos.

At the time (1995), Java was no nowhere near capable of doing anything like that on the Mac, Windows and OS/2. With regard to more modern languages, Python is most exciting dynamic and practical programming language around.

The best thing about Python, is that it's completely open source.

It's not tightly controled by a short sighted company that only intends to use it in their religious Jihad against Microsoft, like Java.

And it's not proprietary, jointly developed by strange bedfellows Apple and IBM, and swept under the rug, like Kaleida's ScriptX was.

So Python will be around forever, while quickly and naturally evolving, because it has earnestly learned so many lessons from Lisp and other languages.

Q: What do you get when you cross Apple and IBM?

A: IBM.

-Don

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed
of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from
hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an
  anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
  first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman,
  spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
  is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an
  anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
  unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis, glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other
automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.'
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot'
originally referred to a homosexual
practice. Slashdot of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have
homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot runs
on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people
do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good
example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person
obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something
as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I
think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most
obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something,
due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my
fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that
nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could
remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus,
Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I
understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're
interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are
the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay
$1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h,
Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now
that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black
stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is
just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something
all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the
trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could
hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee,
Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it
contains hidden homosexual messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you
will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in
terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase,
Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his
wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this
community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord's work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality!
-- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. --
Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone
asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to
be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy
hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth
reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read
it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10
seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop
Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine,
frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember:
Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that
Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns
can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and
eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For
concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward,
Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must
say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to
squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you
again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage
from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

anygui is not an IBM project -- it was just reported on in IBM developer works. If they write an article on java, does it mean they invented java? Sheesh.

From the website:


The purpose of the anygui project is to create an easy-to-use, simple, and generic module for making graphical user interfaces in Python. It's main feature is that it will work transparently with many different GUI packages on most platforms.

You can use it to write a generic GUI app and it will scan the gui toolkits on your box and choose the best one to use for your app.

A successful project with analogous goals is anydbm
You can make generic operations on databases, and it will work on mysql and postgresql. It's already a part of the standard python distribution.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Those of us who use Zope are feeling much better than the Enhydra crowd these days. We've know for years that the rug would one day come out from underneath them just like it did with the Ars Digita community.

Zope Corporation has been moving in the complete oposite direction as Lutris and AD. They've recently opened their CVS to community check-ins, and are working with RMS to make their already open-source license GPL compatable.

When Zope Corporation hired the PythonLabs team, they heartily agreed to turn over the copyright of Python to Guido van Rossum personally, to be later transfered to the a community led Python Software Foundation a non-profit organization whose members consist of all of the developers who have CVS check-in ability.

It's obvious (to me, at least) that you can't build a sucessful open-source application based on a closed source platform like Java. Sooner or later, the virus of commercialism will invade the mindset of all the layers above it. Immagine if Apache, or Emacs were written in a closed source language. They would not be what they are today.

So, hopefully all those folks will learn their lesson and switch to a real open source object-oriented web application platform like Zope.

Those of us who use Zope are feeling much better than the Enhydra crowd these days. We've know for years that the rug would one day come out from underneath them just like it did with the Ars Digita community.

Zope Corporation has been moving in the complete oposite direction as Lutris and AD. They've recently opened their CVS to community check-ins, and are working with RMS to make their already open-source license GPL compatable.

When Zope Corporation hired the PythonLabs team, they heartily agreed to turn over the copyright of Python to Guido van Rossum personally, to be later transfered to the a community led Python Software Foundation a non-profit organization whose members consist of all of the developers who have CVS check-in ability.

It's obvious (to me, at least) that you can't build a sucessful open-source application based on a closed source platform like Java. Sooner or later, the virus of commercialism will invade the mindset of all the layers above it. Immagine if Apache, or Emacs were written in a closed source language. They would not be what they are today.

So, hopefully all those folks will learn their lesson and switch to a real open source object-oriented web application platform like Zope.

Those of us who use Zope are feeling much better than the Enhydra crowd these days. We've know for years that the rug would one day come out from underneath them just like it did with the Ars Digita community.

Zope Corporation has been moving in the complete oposite direction as Lutris and AD. They've recently opened their CVS to community check-ins, and are working with RMS to make their already open-source license GPL compatable.

When Zope Corporation hired the PythonLabs team, they heartily agreed to turn over the copyright of Python to Guido van Rossum personally, to be later transfered to the a community led Python Software Foundation a non-profit organization whose members consist of all of the developers who have CVS check-in ability.

It's obvious (to me, at least) that you can't build a sucessful open-source application based on a closed source platform like Java. Sooner or later, the virus of commercialism will invade the mindset of all the layers above it. Immagine if Apache, or Emacs were written in a closed source language. They would not be what they are today.

So, hopefully all those folks will learn their lesson and switch to a real open source object-oriented web application platform like Zope.

Here are just a few of the tools that are considered traditionally in UNIX/Linux/BSD territory that are available for Win32. In all actuality, there's enough out there to get as much of Linux running on Win32 as Win32 running under WINE.
XFree86: http://sources.redhat.com/cygwin/xfree/
KDE: http://kde-cygwin.sourceforge.net/
GTK/PHP/Libglade: http://gtk.php.net/download.php

Apache: http://www.apache.org
PHP: http://www.php.net
PHPTriad: http://www.phpgeek.com
Perl: http://www.activestate.com
Ruby: http://www.pragmaticprogrammer.com/ruby/downloads/ ruby-install.html
Python: http://www.python.org/download/download_windows.ht ml
TCL/TK: http://www.pconline.com/%7Eerc/tclwin.htm

MySQL: http://www.mysql.com
MySQL ODBC: http://www.mysql.com/downloads/api-myodbc.html
PostgreSQL: Included in cygwin (only works on NT)

ATT's U/WIN* Unix for Windows: http://www.research.att.com/sw/tools/uwin/
Cygwin: http://sourceware.cygnus.com/cygwin/
DJGPP: http://www.delorie.com/djgpp/
Native UNIX command-line binaries: http://www.wzw.tu-muenchen.de/~syring/win32/UnxUti ls.html

vi: http://www.cs.vu.nl/~tmgil/vi.html
Emacs: http://www.cs.washington.edu/homes/voelker/ntemacs .html
OpenOffice: http://www.openoffice.org

Mozilla: http://www.mozilla.org
GIMP: http://user.sgic.fi/~tml/gimp/win32/

List of GNU software for Windows: http://www.gnusoftware.com/
And so on . . .

There's a list over at DMOZ.org of a lot of this.

Love's slam of Microsoft on the patent front is somewhat unfair.

... Microsoft has not sued to prevent others using the Xerox windows GUI as apple did,

Strike one.

sued to prevent extension of an 'open' language standard as Sun did,

Microsoft never had to sue to prevent the bogus breaking of a language; they were the ones doing the bogus breaking. There's a difference in adding things to a language and breaking what's already there.

Strike two.

or steer standards bodies towards a technique they owned an undisclosed patent on.

Strike three called, on the outside corner. Go siddown, Casey.

They don't call it the Evil Empire for nothing.... and I don't care if you are a troll (obviously the moderators don't think so), the hoi polloi need setting straight. I don't hate Microsoft for their products. Some of them are actually decent. I hate Microsoft because they do, in fact, play dirty pool.

--
If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve the Union or to change its republican form, let them stand undisturbed as monuments of the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it.
-- Thomas Jefferson, Inagural Address (I)

I know you are looking for something not language specific to explain programming concepts but I'm not aware of a book that doesn't use a specific language to give examples of its concepts. Therefore, I'd like to offer when I feel is the next best thing for a new programmer. I read through Learning Python a few months ago and I found it to be a very easy-reading tutorial for the Python programming language, which is simple to learn in itself. The Python tutorial does a decent job of explaining the features and syntax of Python but it may be a little too raw for nonprogrammers. The book on the other hand does a thorough job of explaining the language. Many people agree that Python is an ideal first language because it keeps things simple and teaches the basics of OOP well. I sort of wish I had started out with Python as my first language instead of learning C++, as learning C++ and other more advanced/complicated languages would have been much easier to grasp the first time around. Your mileage may vary.

The next version of Perl will look like this

Let's face it, perl is absolutely great for its original intention - fast, easy, write-and-forget scripting. But as I see the plans for Perl 6 unfold, one thought comes to my mind - Yuck. The language they propose is bloated and convoluted beyond words; it's clearly evident that Wall and his fellow "designers" are struggling vainly to make Perl "grow up" -- something that it has absolutely no need to do. There are other languages out there to fill the other niches; languages which try to do everything doom themselves to failure. Ambition kills.

Perhaps slightly off-topic: Python has a builtin module, rotor , that provides rotor-based encryption. The documentation says: "The design is derived from the Enigma device, a machine used during World War II to encipher messages." Cool! Take it for a spin:

>>> import rotor
>>> r = rotor.newrotor('secretkey')
>>> print r.encrypt('squeamish ossifrage')
w&BYåÐmÒ®--"L

Python has been used for commercial games on the PlayStation 2. I don't think that the development tools are on the Web because of Sony licensing. But if you know who to talk to and where to look, you can probably find them.

Python has been used for commercial games on the PlayStation 2. I don't think that the development tools are on the Web because of Sony licensing. But if you know who to talk to and where to look, you can probably find them.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Some more proof of Linux's inherent gayness has come to my attention. Readers of Slashdot, a prominent Linux evangelism site, often compete to get the "First Post" on a new story. While this may at first seem like harmless inanity, "first post" is actually an anagram for the much more sinister FIST SPORT, obviously referring to the disgusting homosexual practice of "fisting", whereby one man forces first his clenched fist then the rest of his queer arm up into the lower intestine of another man. How any proper Christian person could find pleasure in this practice is abhorrent.

Also on Slashdot, half of the postings to these articles begin with, in big capital letters, I ANAL, which requires no explanation, and is so blatantly filthy it boggles the mind.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

whats wrong with weakly typed languages?

I frankly LIKe to just declare variables whilly nilly... lets writing code me a bit more spontainous =]

ESR on encouraging the bytecode merge ( http://mail.python.org/pipermail/python-dev/2001-J uly/016406.html )

use.perl.org links ( http://use.perl.org/search.pl?topic=parrot )

Update: "Fist Sport" explained. (05/17/01)

---

Paid for advertisement from the Michael Sims is a Treacherous Cunt society

Freedom
Is
Really
Something
That

Pisses
Off
Slashdot
Tyrants.

---

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

Linus Torvalds is an anagram of SLIT ANUS OR VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.

Richard M. Stallman , spokespervert for the Gaysex is Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of MANS CRAM THRILL AD.

Alan Cox is barely an anagram of ANAL COX which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, [Buy At Amazon] is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for SECONDARY RIM and CORD IN MY ARSE. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for "Felch Male" - a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, "felching" is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into "e-male."

As far as Richard "(cock)Master" Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following:

RMS: "I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance," he says. "It's about being able to question conventional wisdom," he asserts. "I believe in love, but not monogamy," he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about "flaming," who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

"I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as "Slashdot's resident Gasbag." Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux "Sauce Code," a "Gasbag" is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, "piss-pipe"), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the Slack-wear fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of CLAW ARSE, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for DARK AMEN and RAM NAKED, which is what they do.

Another "distro," (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like "Disco," which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of IN A BED, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. "Woody" is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase "Frozen Potato" that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual "Sauce Code," refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the "supermount" tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. "Automount" is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of "mount points." These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say "There is no /opt mount point" because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love 'man', even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out 'man'. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the "FAQ," but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Some more proof of Linux's inherent gayness has come to my attention. Readers of Slashdot, a prominent Linux evangelism site, often compete to get the "First Post" on a new story. While this may at first seem like harmless inanity, "first post" is actually an anagram for the much more sinister FIST SPORT, obviously referring to the disgusting homosexual practice of "fisting", whereby one man forces first his clenched fist then the rest of his queer arm up into the lower intestine of another man. How any proper Christian person could find pleasure in this practice is abhorrent.

Also on Slashdot, half of the postings to these articles begin with, in big capital letters, I ANAL, which requires no explanation, and is so blatantly filthy it boggles the mind.

Even the title "Slashdot" originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous hemosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.goatse.cx/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: "Hemos" is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from "Homos." But even more sickening is "Commander Taco" which sounds a bit like "Commode in Taco," filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these "Taco Commodes" have special "Salsa Sauce" (blood from a ruptured rectum) and "Cheese" (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, The Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. "Slash - Dot" is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled "stumpers."

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux "Sauce code" once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase "Monolithic Kernel"?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. - mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the "Open Sauce" movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested.

(Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly - who are the real crazies - people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) - double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux "sauce code" is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: "Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow." And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by A Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to "Pearl Necklace" for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. - phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to "Pearl Monocle", "Pearl Nosering", and the ubiquitous "Pearl Enema".

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry "Balls to the" Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of "colon kissing," whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as "Parameter Passing".

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. - Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I DO know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an "extension" to the Linux "Sauce Code," for the sake of "interoperability." (The slang term they use for non-consensual intercourse - their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the "Samba Mount," into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the "Samba Mount" collapses due to "overload," and needs to be "rebooted." (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their "uptime" in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend +1, Underrated, as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened "Bender"???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of "Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours," but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a "number two," as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator) across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License, according to geekacronyms.org) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is KNOWN to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of "Source Control" unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like "Sauce Control," which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And "Open Sauce" is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, "Closed Sauce" is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of "soggy biscuit" that open "sauce" development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, The WIPO Troll, FreeWIPO, Bring BackATV. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version is based on the all-too-rare backup copy sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Re-reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Additional stuff done in preparation for the future. Addition of F.I.R.S.T.P.O.S.T. for the sake of decent folk everywhere!

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding 'man' and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Update: "Fist Sport" explained. (05/17/01)

---

Paid for advertisement from the Michael Sims is a Treacherous Cunt society

Freedom
Is
Really
Something
That

Pisses
Off
Slashdot
Tyrants.