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I know you're joking, but there are beautiful women here in Springfield and we only have a population of 110,000. I had a drinking buddy that made Sandra Bullock look like her plain jane sister. Of course, the butt ugly ones outnumber the beauties 100 to 1. Lots of corn fed cows walking the streets, as well as cartoon characters.

The real problem is that the garbage collection services are monopolized by government, the franchise licenses or however it's done, depending on locality, basically there is no competition in garbage collection.

Maybe it's because Springfield is a cartoon city, but here the power company is owned and operated by the city, and there are half a dozen private trash haulers who, afaik, don't have franchise licenses, merely the same type of business license a restaraunt would need.

All cities and their ordinances and structures are different.

It wasn't even reported if his sister in law had anything to say about it, but it wasn't a CWLP pump, a little town five or so miles outside Springfield.

Well, those cartoonists get everything wrong. take Futurama, for instance. It's Leila, not Leela. And she's not a mutant, her sister is. And it's not one eye, it's one kidney. And they didn't say a word about her dad being a cyborg.

And Groening never mentioned that Homer's sister in law is an alderman.

Springfield, IL (home of Alderman Simpson and Mister Burns)

OK, now I'm going to make your head explode. Have a look at Mayor Quimb... I mean, Mayor Davlin.

Ward two alderman is Gail Simpson .

I have no idea what the decibel rating of a modern siren is

Not very damned loud at all. Sometimes "progress" goes backwards.

On March 12, 2006 two tornados blew down quite a bit of Springfield's infrastructure, power was out city-wide. Later that night the sirens should have gone off again, but they couldn't, as the power was off.

In the aftermath, the cartoons in the city government (incling the guy who runs the power company, alderman Simpson, and Mayor Quim... er, Davlin) decided to get some new high tech emergency sirens that could run on batteries if the power went off.

You can't hear the damned things. They're completely worthless, but we're paying $2 a month extra on our electric bills to pay for the worthless pieces of crap.

I can hear the train whistles just fine, miles away.

You say that like we know which Springfield. Lisa Simpson, is that you?

No, but Gail Simpson is an alderman here. If she looks a bit cartoonish in that newspaper picture, you should see the mayor and the guy who runs the power plant here.

No, I'm far more paranoid than that. My paranoia says that this is being touted as a threat to distract you from the real threats -- like ATM cameras, store cameras, red light cameras, cameras that are on the street just to be there, cameras in bars (one bar owner was asking my help in putting one in his bar just yesterday), let alone the police searching your property without a warrant.

IMO if you live half century without becoming paranoid, you've led a sheltered life.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Troll? Here in Springfield, where Gail Simpson is Aderman, we do our trolling offline.

-mcgrew

Actually, this Springfield is even more cartoonish than the TV Springfield. One of our Aldermen is Gail Simpson. Todd Renfrow, the guy in charge of our power plant, is a dead ringer for Mr. Burns (he's the guy in front of the giant check, on the right). Betty Boop lives here, Popeye, Olive, Bluto and Brutis all live here, although the Spriingfield Betty Boop's head is bigger, and Springfield's Olive Oyl is flatter chested. Many of our denizens are bugeyed (although not all of them).

here is a tale of some of our trolls. here are a lot more Springfield stories, all true, few believable.

-mcgrew

Springfield? that darn Mr Burns at it again?

One of our aldermen is Gail Simpson (not sure, maybe she's married to Homer's brother).

Actually here's a picture of the guy in charge of Springfield's electricity. He's the guy sitting in front of the big green check, on the right. Groening had him pegged! here's one of him breaking ground at the new generator they're building.

I mean your truck must have been spared, otherwise how would you charge the cell phone? Just face it toward the window, it should light up the entire trailer.

The trailers were all destroyed in the tornado. There was one behind my apartment that looked like a box of crackers a toddler had been playing with. The electricity was only out for a few hours, except for where the tornados actually hit, which happened to be my neighborhood AND the neighborhood the woman I was visiting lived in, so I could charge it up at work.

Those damned tornados had it in for me but oddly didn't hurt anything of mine. My daughter and her fiancee left the Target store a minute and a half before the tornado tore the roof off of it, and followed their car. Then the thing hit my apartment, tearing a few shingles off the roof and completely destroying everything around it. It tore a path through the neighborhood, demolishing houses, businesses, and completely destroying a trailer park between my apartment and my friend's house.

She lives close to a railroad track. "I can't believe the trains are running in this weather" she said as we huddled in her dark basement. "They don't", I told her, right before I heard the jet engine.

When you hear the train, the tornado's almost there. When you hear the jet, it's on top of you.

All of her stuff and all of my stuff and all of my daughter's and her fiancee's stuff was spared. Meanwhile, complete destruction around my friend's house and my apartment. A five foot diameter tree was uprooted two houses away from hers; all her neighbors' on both sides trees were uprooted but hers were untouched except for a few branches.

Nobody was seriously injured.

-mcgrew

PS- the "real" Springfield is even more cartoonish than the one on TV.

Its neither funny or a troll, and the mods did indeed fix it; it's now a "5, insightful". The only way a rich powerful man goes to jail in America is if a richer, more powerful man wants him in jail.

Look how long Illinois' last Governor, George Ryan has stayed out of prison for the "professional drivers' licence bribery" scandal, where whole families died horrible burning deaths because Ryan (as Secretary of State at eth time) was selling CDL's (professional drivers licenses; what you need to drive a semi) to people who couldn't even speak or read English, let alone pass a CDL exam.

Or look at OJ Simpson (I wonder if Springfield's alderman is related to OJ or Homer? Does Bart call Ward 2 alderman Simpson "Aunt Gail?")

-mcgrew

Here in Springfield, where Gail Simpson is an alderman, Klutzo the Clown was arrested for child porn.

It's true- Springfield, IL lost out on the bid to host the premier to the Simpsons movie because it's wierder than the cartoon Springfield!

-mcgrew

AT&T has scuttled plans it had to deploy wireless Internet with some free access throughout Springfield, according to Mayor Tim Davlin's top aide.

"They just made a business decision not to pursue these types of ventures," executive assistant Jim Donelan said Tuesday.
Other companies are still welcome to make proposals for citywide wireless access, Donelan said, but there are no active negotiations.

A spokesman for AT&T was contacted but did not provided a statement from the company.