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Microsoft have been guilty of shafting their customers for years, now the rest of the galaxy is going to pay as Microsoft extends it's malfeasance outwards into the cosmos. What have the aliens ever done to deserve this... anal probing? Has Ballmer discussed his vengence with shareholders?

Microsoft have been guilty of shafting their customers for years, now the rest of the galaxy is going to pay as Microsoft extends it's malfeasance outwards into the cosmos. What have the aliens ever done to deserve this... anal probing? Has Ballmer discussed his vengence with shareholders?

Microsoft have been guilty of shafting their customers for years, now the rest of the galaxy is going to pay as Microsoft extends it's malfeasance outwards into the cosmos. What have the aliens ever done to deserve this... anal probing? Has Ballmer discussed his vengence with shareholders?

Microsoft have been guilty of shafting their customers for years, now the rest of the galaxy is going to pay as Microsoft extends it's malfeasance outwards into the cosmos. What have the aliens ever done to deserve this... anal probing? Has Ballmer discussed his vengence with shareholders?

Microsoft have been guilty of shafting their customers for years, now the rest of the galaxy is going to pay as Microsoft extends it's malfeasance outwards into the cosmos. What have the aliens ever done to deserve this... anal probing? Has Ballmer discussed his vengence with shareholders?

Slashdot, your clock is wrong. Have you been huffing kittins again?

Well actually now it's 11:07 but I had to look up the "root of all evil". It appears that the right wingers (Godwin) are wrong, and that government is NOT in fact the root of all evil.

Google is? Ok, I guess. All its employees were babies once. Many slashdotters still are (but not you, dear reader)

It's 11:00. Babies are the root of all evil.

DOJ has been heavily promoting it as set of laws (and amendments to existing laws) for fighting crime.

But these criminals* are terrorists! Every housewife is terrified that her philandering husband will hire one of the terrorists. Every parent is terrified that little johnny will come in contact with the terrorists. Every child is terriried that their parents might fall victim to this terrorism.

FEMA was merged with DHS (Department of Humungous Size) to fight these terrorists.

Alas, these terrorists, who kill half a million Americans every year, are part of a corporation and are therefore exempt from all US laws.

-mcgrew

*Just so you don't have to click that particular link to understand what is being said here, it is to an old journal about prostitutes.

DOJ has been heavily promoting it as set of laws (and amendments to existing laws) for fighting crime.

But these criminals* are terrorists! Every housewife is terrified that her philandering husband will hire one of the terrorists. Every parent is terrified that little johnny will come in contact with the terrorists. Every child is terriried that their parents might fall victim to this terrorism.

FEMA was merged with DHS (Department of Humungous Size) to fight these terrorists.

Alas, these terrorists, who kill half a million Americans every year, are part of a corporation and are therefore exempt from all US laws.

-mcgrew

*Just so you don't have to click that particular link to understand what is being said here, it is to an old journal about prostitutes.

You got that backwards there, son. Even though I know you're either trolling or (more likely) astroturfing, I'm going to bite.

I can open a word document with OO. I cannot open an OO document with Word.
I can open a Word Perfect document with OO. I cannot open a WP document with Word.
OO has the cool cachet of the GPL, while Word is just another boring corporate moneymaker.
OO has fewer bugs and faster bug fixes.
OO costs nothing, while stupid people pay good cash for Word that could otherwise be spent on more important things like beer, games, and more beer.

The only thing Word has going for it is that the Uncyclopedia parodies Bill Gates (and even includes a real criminal justice system mug shot of him) but not Scott McNealy. I mean, if Uncyclopedia doesn't make fun of you your software must really suck, right?

You got that backwards there, son. Even though I know you're either trolling or (more likely) astroturfing, I'm going to bite.

I can open a word document with OO. I cannot open an OO document with Word.
I can open a Word Perfect document with OO. I cannot open a WP document with Word.
OO has the cool cachet of the GPL, while Word is just another boring corporate moneymaker.
OO has fewer bugs and faster bug fixes.
OO costs nothing, while stupid people pay good cash for Word that could otherwise be spent on more important things like beer, games, and more beer.

The only thing Word has going for it is that the Uncyclopedia parodies Bill Gates (and even includes a real criminal justice system mug shot of him) but not Scott McNealy. I mean, if Uncyclopedia doesn't make fun of you your software must really suck, right?

You got that backwards there, son. Even though I know you're either trolling or (more likely) astroturfing, I'm going to bite.

I can open a word document with OO. I cannot open an OO document with Word.
I can open a Word Perfect document with OO. I cannot open a WP document with Word.
OO has the cool cachet of the GPL, while Word is just another boring corporate moneymaker.
OO has fewer bugs and faster bug fixes.
OO costs nothing, while stupid people pay good cash for Word that could otherwise be spent on more important things like beer, games, and more beer.

The only thing Word has going for it is that the Uncyclopedia parodies Bill Gates (and even includes a real criminal justice system mug shot of him) but not Scott McNealy. I mean, if Uncyclopedia doesn't make fun of you your software must really suck, right?

Links supplied for those Brits and us Yanks who don't realise that we speak different languages, almost as different as redneck is from ebonics.

Remember, guys, "Billion" means two different things [Seven if you believe the ebonic rednecks at wikipedia]depending on which part of the world you're in, so make sure you're not getting into a debate between an american and a brit who are both probably right and wrong at the same time.

Links supplied for those Brits and us Yanks who don't realise that we speak different languages, almost as different as redneck is from ebonics.

Remember, guys, "Billion" means two different things [Seven if you believe the ebonic rednecks at wikipedia]depending on which part of the world you're in, so make sure you're not getting into a debate between an american and a brit who are both probably right and wrong at the same time.

Links supplied for those Brits and us Yanks who don't realise that we speak different languages, almost as different as redneck is from ebonics.

Remember, guys, "Billion" means two different things [Seven if you believe the ebonic rednecks at wikipedia]depending on which part of the world you're in, so make sure you're not getting into a debate between an american and a brit who are both probably right and wrong at the same time.

Links supplied for those Brits and us Yanks who don't realise that we speak different languages, almost as different as redneck is from ebonics.

Remember, guys, "Billion" means two different things [Seven if you believe the ebonic rednecks at wikipedia]depending on which part of the world you're in, so make sure you're not getting into a debate between an american and a brit who are both probably right and wrong at the same time.

Links supplied for those Brits and us Yanks who don't realise that we speak different languages, almost as different as redneck is from ebonics.

Remember, guys, "Billion" means two different things [Seven if you believe the ebonic rednecks at wikipedia]depending on which part of the world you're in, so make sure you're not getting into a debate between an american and a brit who are both probably right and wrong at the same time.

Links supplied for those Brits and us Yanks who don't realise that we speak different languages, almost as different as redneck is from ebonics.

Remember, guys, "Billion" means two different things [Seven if you believe the ebonic rednecks at wikipedia]depending on which part of the world you're in, so make sure you're not getting into a debate between an american and a brit who are both probably right and wrong at the same time.

Holy dipshit, batman, wirelesss power? Is this Tesla or PT Barnum? I'd REALLY feel foolish if I actually R this FA, is there some Rube Goldberg explanation of how, exactly, "wireless power" would work?

I think perhaps you're either a little over a month late or almost a week late.

is there any such thing as bad publicity?

Yes. If your restaraunt is in the newspaper because someone died from salmonella poisoning and six more people are in the hospital, expect people to stay away in droves.

When someone in the press catches wind of your tryst with your secretary, expect to lose the next election. (Oops, this is slashdot; "loose" the next election - on an unsuspecting public)

Or you could just ask OJ Simpson how that film career is going.

BTW, as everyone with a grandma knows there IS such a thing as a free lunch and modey does indeed grow on trees (ask a lumberjack or an orchard owner).

The "old sayings" only hold up in a limited set of circumstances. The "free lunch", for example, only means that when a supplier offers lunch, watch your wallet carefully.

Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education.
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

"Kansas. All it is is dust in the wind." ~ Oscar Wilde on Kansas

In 1865 it was discovered that there was in fact, a single hill in the entire state. The legislature determined that this hill (for reasons unknown but entirely unrelated to altitude referred to as Mount Oread) was the ideal location to send its best and brightest, and founded the University of Kansas on the hill. The primary subjects taught were post-hole digging, wheat planting, and the concept of the "hill," previously unfamiliar to most Kansans. It is said that the original building on campus was blown down seven times before designers realized that the wind from the west came straight from the Rocky Mountains without any obstructions. Their response was to built a concrete monstrosity, known as Wescoe Hall. The building stood for 120 years before sliding down the hill and collapsing, killing seventy cattle and one freshman philosophy major. This disaster (the hall, not the collapse) spurred the creation of a School of Architecture at the University. The university mascot is the Jayhawk, a bird native to Kansas that inexplicably killed hundreds of people in neighboring Missouri during the American Civil War.

Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education.
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

"Kansas. All it is is dust in the wind." ~ Oscar Wilde on Kansas

In 1865 it was discovered that there was in fact, a single hill in the entire state. The legislature determined that this hill (for reasons unknown but entirely unrelated to altitude referred to as Mount Oread) was the ideal location to send its best and brightest, and founded the University of Kansas on the hill. The primary subjects taught were post-hole digging, wheat planting, and the concept of the "hill," previously unfamiliar to most Kansans. It is said that the original building on campus was blown down seven times before designers realized that the wind from the west came straight from the Rocky Mountains without any obstructions. Their response was to built a concrete monstrosity, known as Wescoe Hall. The building stood for 120 years before sliding down the hill and collapsing, killing seventy cattle and one freshman philosophy major. This disaster (the hall, not the collapse) spurred the creation of a School of Architecture at the University. The university mascot is the Jayhawk, a bird native to Kansas that inexplicably killed hundreds of people in neighboring Missouri during the American Civil War.

I just had to log in and say that I have never come across this site before, but I am now hooked. I have tears in my eyes from some of the things on here!

The front page states "On this day in 1242: Jack Thompson rapes his first kitten"

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Jack_Thompson

Comedy gold!

twitter Audio Help /twtr/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[twit-er] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-verb (used without object)
1. to utter a succession of small, tremulous sounds, as a bird.
2. to talk lightly and rapidly, esp. of trivial matters; chatter.
3. to titter; giggle.
4. to tremble with excitement or the like; be in a flutter.
-verb (used with object)
5. to express or utter by twittering.
-noun
6. an act of twittering.
7. a twittering sound.
8. a state of tremulous excitement.

Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send "updates" (or "tweets"; text-based posts, up to 140 characters long) to the Twitter website, via short message service (e.g. on a cell phone), instant messaging, or a third-party application such as Twitterrific or Facebook.

Updates are displayed on the user's profile page and instantly delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them. The sender can restrict delivery to those in his or her circle of friends (delivery to everyone is the default). Users can receive updates via the Twitter website, instant messaging, SMS, RSS, email or through an application. For SMS, four gateway numbers are currently available: short codes for the United States, Canada, and India, as well as a United Kingdom number for international use. Several third parties offer posting and receiving updates via email.

>> Linux is NOT Unix.
Only 20%. See this proof - http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:SCO_proof.png

Wow, mods. You guys are really good!. I would have never guessed that an anonymous coward could bait users into an emotional response[1] or generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion[2] with two words (three if you count the subject). This has to be the shortest troll ever posted at slashdot.

My hat's off to you! Proof positive that slashdot's moderation system is da verry bestast on earth!

You go, girl!

(Note: I'm stupid, of course. I would have moderated the post as offtopic.)

Wow, mods. You guys are really good!. I would have never guessed that an anonymous coward could bait users into an emotional response[1] or generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion[2] with two words (three if you count the subject). This has to be the shortest troll ever posted at slashdot.

My hat's off to you! Proof positive that slashdot's moderation system is da verry bestast on earth!

You go, girl!

(Note: I'm stupid, of course. I would have moderated the post as offtopic.)

Wow, mods. You guys are really good!. I would have never guessed that an anonymous coward could bait users into an emotional response[1] or generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion[2] with two words (three if you count the subject). This has to be the shortest troll ever posted at slashdot.

My hat's off to you! Proof positive that slashdot's moderation system is da verry bestast on earth!

You go, girl!

(Note: I'm stupid, of course. I would have moderated the post as offtopic.)

Darl McBride and Steve Ballmer* have the same motto:

"No gnus is good gnus".

-mcgrew

*The linked article refers to Steve Ballmer, president of Microsoft and dancing, mentally deficient, foul-mouthed chair-throwing psychopath. For another dangerously unstable person, see "Tom Cruise".

Darl McBride and Steve Ballmer* have the same motto:

"No gnus is good gnus".

-mcgrew

*The linked article refers to Steve Ballmer, president of Microsoft and dancing, mentally deficient, foul-mouthed chair-throwing psychopath. For another dangerously unstable person, see "Tom Cruise".

I seem to be having tremendous difficulties with my lifestyle.

Oh, I'm sorry. I seem to be plagiarizing. Please let me correct that. The above sentence comes from chapter 31 of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by the late Douglas Adams, who in my opinion wasn't late at all but left the planet way too early.

Fucking party pooper.

This article is a flimsy excuse to get pictures of tits on Uncyclopedia. Don't change a thing to remedy this.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!

The article you are looking at may not be work safe!

If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.

Boobs, sometimes called Weapons of Mass Erection, are the largest form of wart known to mankind. They are known to develop in roughly 50% of the population, usually on the upper chest area, though they occasionally form on the elbows. They are roughly twice as common as the Vagina. Some expert scientists believe that the possession of a vagina and the formation of boobs are somehow related in some obscure way, yet this has not yet been proven (see "causes" below), Boobs were created in the English city of Bristol in 1996, since the great boob factory fire of 99' production has moved to France, where they continue to be devolved to this day, although since the creation of the internet demand has plummeted.

Your head is going to asplode if you don't stop thinking like that, young fellow! Keep it up and you'll be expelled from DAMM (Not to be confused with the DAM, "Mothers Against Dyslexia")

Seriously, friends don't let friends play video games sober. WTF is wrong with you??? Now go open another beer, dammit!

Half past five, I'm in the pub Six o'clock it's home for grub Eight o'clock its back to the bar Fuck the walk, ill take my car

(chorus: Knock it back, I'll have another one, drinkin' and drivin' is so much fun. Knock it back I'll have another one, drinkin' and drivin' is so much fun)

You, me, and the time to roam Don't forget the highway code Keep your head on, keep your cool Must avoid the right phone pole

(chorus)

In the motor, off you go Not too fast and not too slow See a spot and take your pick Out of the car door to be sick.

In the summertime when the weather is hot You can stretch right up and touch the sky
When the weather's fine You got women, you got women on your mind
Have a drink, have a drive Go out and see what you can find

This article contains actual facts. Normally this would make it utterly unsuitable for Uncyclopedia. However in this case the truth is stranger than fiction.

"These flowers were sent to harass me." ~ Jack Thompson on the one person in the universe that actually likes him

"I'm not a troll." ~ Jack Thompson on promoting his WoW character, Orc Jesus.

"That... um, Thompson... he's like a fence post... he bitches TOO MUCH about pointless shit." ~ Stoner on Trippin balls

Diet: Primarily Fax Machines

Jack Thompson was born February 31, -1337 - January 21, 2045, in South Africa, and is a lawyer/activist for which he is famed for being a joyless blowhard who blames all of the world's problems on radio, video games, and the price of tea in China. Strangely, he is ranked number fourteen out of thousands on Call of Duty 4. He actively campaigns against video game violence and the fact that nobody takes him seriously. He has no friends, has no grasp of logic and reality and as such is completely oblivious to what people in possession of more than five brain cells call factual information. This is why Jack wants to ban video games like Pokémon since he claims it promotes paganism, and Grand Theft Auto, which isn't quite as bad as Pokémon. Everyone hates Jack Thompson, including Jesus and his own mother.

He has recently announced plans to ban the Internet because they say bad things about him on it. His 12 year old son was able to purchase and download porn to earn the slightest strand of sanity, and poor old Jack didn't like that. Al Gore could not be reached for comment.

1 April 2008

WASHINGTON, DC -- Congress has passed a bill officially postponing April Fool's Day, originally on April 1, to May 1. Additionally, pranks on the traditional date will be a federal and capital offense punishable by death.

Naturally, pranksters and liars all over the United States are flabbergasted, shocked, and whining.

President George W. Bush said, "This is a national blasphemy to a major Western celebration, and I will veto this bill... APRIL FOOL!", attempting a poor April Fool's prank, and subsequently signing the bill into effect.

I. M. Luvinitt, of Kansas City, not in Kansas, says, "March 31, 2008 is a date which will live in infamy. Yesterday Congress attacked pranksters, liars, and mischief-causing brats -- a vital and necessary part of our society."

Give a man a fish, he is fed for a day. Teach him to use the 'net, and he won't bother you for weeks" ~ Oscar Wilde on the Internet

"The Internet is a Series of Tubes!" ~ Sen. Ted Stevens on the Internet

"Ah, the internet. Giving voiceless, pubescent young teens a place to rant about everyone in their lives to a bunch of people who either think it's funny or want to rape them." ~ Unknown_Entity on The Internet

"Its where we truly belong. We are accepted, not teased or harassed" ~ The Nerd Association on the internet

"Im a genius!" ~ An Idiot on the Internet

"It's not all just cybergeeks and girls with their tops off!" ~ Internet Expert on Internet's contents

"Mmmm...very interesting invention...let's use it to destroy Microsoft!" ~ Steve Jobs on the Internet

"The internet is for porn" ~ Your Mom on the Internet

The Internet is a complex system made of, but not limited to, a series of tubes , telegraph wires, pony expresses, hobo signs, tortoise shells, and smoke signals. It was invented by Al Gore and is owned, operated and monitored by the Illuminati. Mostly used for access to porn, theme songs, ultra-porn, and cans of spam.

Give a man a fish, he is fed for a day. Teach him to use the 'net, and he won't bother you for weeks" ~ Oscar Wilde on the Internet

"The Internet is a Series of Tubes!" ~ Sen. Ted Stevens on the Internet

"Ah, the internet. Giving voiceless, pubescent young teens a place to rant about everyone in their lives to a bunch of people who either think it's funny or want to rape them." ~ Unknown_Entity on The Internet

"Its where we truly belong. We are accepted, not teased or harassed" ~ The Nerd Association on the internet

"Im a genius!" ~ An Idiot on the Internet

"It's not all just cybergeeks and girls with their tops off!" ~ Internet Expert on Internet's contents

"Mmmm...very interesting invention...let's use it to destroy Microsoft!" ~ Steve Jobs on the Internet

"The internet is for porn" ~ Your Mom on the Internet

The Internet is a complex system made of, but not limited to, a series of tubes , telegraph wires, pony expresses, hobo signs, tortoise shells, and smoke signals. It was invented by Al Gore and is owned, operated and monitored by the Illuminati. Mostly used for access to porn, theme songs, ultra-porn, and cans of spam.

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

I hear the FBI was installing software to track Slashdot posters. Is that true?

No, if that was the case uncyclopedia would be down. They host quite a few slashdot posters, here are some:

Good-evening,-Mr.-Gates
Microsoft Hates Apple
Bill Hitler
Microsoft's latest product after researching the black market
A Microsoft campaign to persuade people to install Vista
A screenshot of GNU/Linux® in use, with the GNU/X-Windows GNU/Ubuntu desktop
Rotating Gears, a game which comes preinstalled with Linux®. It is considered to be the best open-source game ever created, next to Russian Roulette.
Pimp Your Linux® ~ Use Fedora Core
Natalie Portman
Hot Grits
A Beowolf cluster
In Soviet Russia...

"Is this thing on? Tasting, tasting, 1, 2, 3... SLURP!" -Tommy Smothers, Smothers Brothers LIVE at the Purple Onion

"In a nation-wide taste test, ICAAN's hamburgers were named the best in the country. Tasters said the burger had a certain "je ne sais quoi." In other news, scientists have identified "je ne sais quoi" as a lack of rat feces"
-Misquoted from Alex Fossella

"How does your Domain Taste??" -Digg on domain tasting

"But I don't LIKE spam!" -'Woman' in Monty python skit about the taste of spam.com

"A domain is the place that someone has people who work for them take care of. There's four kinds of domains: Domain of the King, Domain of the [insert name of some kind of Lord of the Rings monster here], Domain of the Public, and Domain of the Name. They have long been sought after by those in positions of power, such as kings or wiki creators. When it comes to domains, it's pretty much like this: in the right hands, everything is peachy. But in the wrong hands, vampires crawl from the bowels of the Earth and feast at our eyeballs." -Uncyclopedia on Domains

"Taste is the Greek god of individual preference. Inbred son of Zeus and Apollo, Taste usually governs endless and pointless debates between retarded entities on internet forums. In sculptures and various other artworks he is depicted wearing a bean flavoured cape and ice-cream shoes, holding a banana-like sceptre." -Uncyclopedia on taste

"Absolute catholicity of taste is not without its dangers. It is only an auctioneer who should admire all schools of art." -Oscar Wilde on taste

"Domain tasting is the practice of a domain name registrant using the five-day "grace period" at the beginning of the registration of an ICANN-regulated second level domain to test the marketability of the domain." - Wikipedia on Domain Tasting

"On the streets these days, a dime bag of kittens costs a pretty penny." - Oscar Wilde on slashdot's Offtopic moderation

"Is this thing on? Tasting, tasting, 1, 2, 3... SLURP!" -Tommy Smothers, Smothers Brothers LIVE at the Purple Onion

"In a nation-wide taste test, ICAAN's hamburgers were named the best in the country. Tasters said the burger had a certain "je ne sais quoi." In other news, scientists have identified "je ne sais quoi" as a lack of rat feces"
-Misquoted from Alex Fossella

"How does your Domain Taste??" -Digg on domain tasting

"But I don't LIKE spam!" -'Woman' in Monty python skit about the taste of spam.com

"A domain is the place that someone has people who work for them take care of. There's four kinds of domains: Domain of the King, Domain of the [insert name of some kind of Lord of the Rings monster here], Domain of the Public, and Domain of the Name. They have long been sought after by those in positions of power, such as kings or wiki creators. When it comes to domains, it's pretty much like this: in the right hands, everything is peachy. But in the wrong hands, vampires crawl from the bowels of the Earth and feast at our eyeballs." -Uncyclopedia on Domains

"Taste is the Greek god of individual preference. Inbred son of Zeus and Apollo, Taste usually governs endless and pointless debates between retarded entities on internet forums. In sculptures and various other artworks he is depicted wearing a bean flavoured cape and ice-cream shoes, holding a banana-like sceptre." -Uncyclopedia on taste

"Absolute catholicity of taste is not without its dangers. It is only an auctioneer who should admire all schools of art." -Oscar Wilde on taste

"Domain tasting is the practice of a domain name registrant using the five-day "grace period" at the beginning of the registration of an ICANN-regulated second level domain to test the marketability of the domain." - Wikipedia on Domain Tasting

"On the streets these days, a dime bag of kittens costs a pretty penny." - Oscar Wilde on slashdot's Offtopic moderation

"Is this thing on? Tasting, tasting, 1, 2, 3... SLURP!" -Tommy Smothers, Smothers Brothers LIVE at the Purple Onion

"In a nation-wide taste test, ICAAN's hamburgers were named the best in the country. Tasters said the burger had a certain "je ne sais quoi." In other news, scientists have identified "je ne sais quoi" as a lack of rat feces"
-Misquoted from Alex Fossella

"How does your Domain Taste??" -Digg on domain tasting

"But I don't LIKE spam!" -'Woman' in Monty python skit about the taste of spam.com

"A domain is the place that someone has people who work for them take care of. There's four kinds of domains: Domain of the King, Domain of the [insert name of some kind of Lord of the Rings monster here], Domain of the Public, and Domain of the Name. They have long been sought after by those in positions of power, such as kings or wiki creators. When it comes to domains, it's pretty much like this: in the right hands, everything is peachy. But in the wrong hands, vampires crawl from the bowels of the Earth and feast at our eyeballs." -Uncyclopedia on Domains

"Taste is the Greek god of individual preference. Inbred son of Zeus and Apollo, Taste usually governs endless and pointless debates between retarded entities on internet forums. In sculptures and various other artworks he is depicted wearing a bean flavoured cape and ice-cream shoes, holding a banana-like sceptre." -Uncyclopedia on taste

"Absolute catholicity of taste is not without its dangers. It is only an auctioneer who should admire all schools of art." -Oscar Wilde on taste

"Domain tasting is the practice of a domain name registrant using the five-day "grace period" at the beginning of the registration of an ICANN-regulated second level domain to test the marketability of the domain." - Wikipedia on Domain Tasting

"On the streets these days, a dime bag of kittens costs a pretty penny." - Oscar Wilde on slashdot's Offtopic moderation

Should ReiserFS be removed from Linux?
Eric S. Raymond: "It's bad public relations to have a murderous file system in the kernel. Though he is of course innocent until and only if proven guilty. We should replace it with iPodFS or the modern youth, with their Game Boy 360s and Grand Theft Zunes, won't bother with our tribe's finest POSIX-compliant work. Besides, my VA Software IPO money ran out. ."

Richard M. Stallman: "The Free Software Foundation's position on ReiserFS is that a GPLed file system is for the good of the user community and encourages others to licence superior file systems suitably. There are those who considered a file system built from a sordid tale of blood, adultery and financial misappropriation should have the 'taint' flag set, but for some reason they changed their minds when I offered to explain our position in song. ."

Linus Torvalds: "My name is Linus Torvalds, and I pronounce "ReiserFS" as 'unsupported.' ."

Steve Ballmer: "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear your question over my own cackling glee at Linux developers being arrested for murder. ."

Simon Cowell: "That was terrible, I mean just awful. The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death kernel star wannabes. ."

[edit] The votes are in!
And Hans Reiser makes it through to the next level of FILESYSTEM IDOL! To be screened November 28th, 9am, at Alameda County Superior Court!