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As documented in the historical documents, PANTS will be OBSOLETE in the 24th century.

yow, that sounds like an absolute Zippyism
also, someone please quote me on that in their .sig...

Slushdot's fortune cookies need a thorough overhaul.

Just as a for-instance, I keep seeing "There's no such thing as a free lunch" attributed to Milton Friedman. Phrase finder attributes the original statement to journalist Paul Mellon, in a January, 1942 editorial response to a speech by then-vice-President Henry Wallace. It notes that the phrase is associated with Friedman only because he appropriated it as the title of his 1975 book - but he would have been in grade school when Mellon's editorial was first published.

That's far from the only sin of mis-attribution (or, much worse, non-attribution) in the fortune database. I'm CONSTANTLY seeing quotes from Bill Griffith's fabulous Zippy the Pinhead strips (mostly Zippy's own non-sequiturs) show up without attribution to either Griffith (their actual author) or Zippy (his mouthpiece). The same is true of many great Steven Wright lines - and there have to be plenty of others whose authors I don't recognize.

Full disclosure: I'm a writer. Proper attribution is important to me. I'm known for the extent to which I research my work - which makes proper attribution all the more important from my perspective.

PS...who does the message of the day thing and what are they smoking...."My Aunt MAUREEN was a military advisor to IKE & TINA TURNER!!" wtf?

It's a Zippy quote.

http://www.zippythepinhead.com/

Yes, Bill Griffith has smoked a lot of weird things in his life, physical and metaphysical.

Slashdot uses the fortune-mod to take the output of fortune and put it on the web.

bmo@owlcomm ~> fortune zippy
I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog!
bmo@owlcomm ~> fortune zippy
If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!
bmo@owlcomm ~> fortune zippy
I am having FUN... I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN?
bmo@owlcomm ~> fortune zippy
Hello. I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic Alaskan females!!
bmo@owlcomm ~> fortune zippy
I feel partially hydrogenated!

--
BMO

YOW! You don't need to SUBSCRIBE to anything. He has a WEBSITE.

Yow! Are you really kdawson, or did Zippy the Pinhead steal your ID?

semi-offtopic editorial comic: The Zippy the Pinhead website may be the most hideous website I've seen since Geocities went dark. OTOH, I sense that it's intentional, which wasn't usually the case in Geocities.

This.

One man's pith helmet is another man's myth helmet. Yow!

You are Zippy The Pinhead AICMFP.

Please be MORE respectful when ADDRESSING Zippy the Pinhead

neko ga nai

You meant Zippy, didn't you?

I look forward to seeing that quote in a Bill Griffith cartoon:

"YOW! The USA PATRIOT act made my POP-TARTS stale!"

Hmmm, maybe I should go check on my breakfast foods...

I'm not so sure, especially with CNBC spelling it Griffeth...

sounds like a zippyism... zippy is a cult hero comic strip by Bill Griffith (who I am pretty sure is the same Bill Griffith who is an anchor on CNBC) http://www.zippythepinhead.com/

Zippy is an idiot savant who burbles out odd amalgams of pop culture in a halucinogenically insightful manner.

What does it mean, indeed.

Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!! Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS... or a HIGHBALL??...

You're not a very good googler, are you? That's a quote from Zippy the Pinhead, by Bill Griffith.

I was surprised to see that even back then Ballmer had no hair, and looked like Zippy the Pinhead.

What was wrong with Coneheads?

They are a rip off of Zippy the Pinhead.

I prefer the zen surrealism of ZTP.
Is that how you spell zany?
Are we having fun yet?

My vote goes to Manos the Hands of Fate.

However The Day After Tomorrow is in my top ten.

Coincidentally, I just today received my 11 x 17 inch print of this Zippy cartoon from April 2001, signed by Griffy himself. Destined for my office wall, of course.

Here's a real Zippy processor.

Actually, this threat to society has been long recognized in some circles.
Bill Griffith has regularly ranted against the "cutification" of everything through his alter-ego (vs alter-id) "Griffy" in the "Zippy the Pinhead comics".
He notes that this is particularly virulent in Japaneese consumer culture. (See "Hello Kitty")