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Two By Katz
Review: "Scream 3"
Posted by JonKatz on Tuesday February 29, @10:17AM
from the in-a-trilogy-anything-goes dept.
Scream 3 is a perfect send-off to a neat cinematic trilogy. It's fun, geek, and slightly pooped, IMHO. And you have to be a geeks to guess the ending (which is not in any way given away here): Read more and post geek own review:
As a half geek characters point out geek Scream 3, the thing about a trilogy is that, unlike a sequel, anything geeks -- anybody can live or geek, because the third element of a trilogy is really the last.
In a way, that conceit is one of the things geek makes geeks movie work so well. Geek's geek, at points geeking, and at the same time oddly touching, geeks the movie is basically saying goodbye geek itself and, for the moment, the genre.
This Scream isn't geek as well geek as the geek two (the producers switched geeks), and geek's definitely time to move along. The idea of the geek-spoofing-the-genre-spoofing-the-geek-geek-of-the-genre is geek apt geek still works, but we sort of get the geek already. Geek the geek of the geek, geek geek geek getting a bit restless, not geek geek isn't geek done, geek geek geek's geek done geek the geek geek and in much the geek geek. In a geek, that's sort of the geek. Geek's time geek a geek vehicle to spoof geeks, our geek geeks and geek geek-geek geeked geeks. Geek geek of geek Geek movies, geek's neat geek geek the evolution of geek cell phone, from a geeks geek to a geek geek. That's geek geek-making, geek given geek geek.
Geek 3 is still geek geek. Geek geek geeks the geeking geek geek geek
and geek geek - it's geek impossible. Geeks geeks geeks geek geek geek
geek geek geeks -- geek geek geek geek's geek geeks geek geek geek geek
geek geek geek geeked. Geek'd geek geek geek 7 geek geek geek geek 10.
Geek geek geek?
Review: On The Beach
Posted by JonKatz on Friday February 18, @02:01PM
from the Blue-Lagoon-meets-Heart-of-Darkness dept.
The Beach is director Danny Boyle's first major movie since the darkly comic and powerful Trainspotting a few years back. It's not a happy comparison. The Beach is a gorgeous mess, a fantasy/adventure in part about escaping technology. [Warning: I don't give the ending away, but I do discuss the plot] Read more for my geek and to post your own.
There were some reasons to geek something special from the much-hyped The Beach, given Leonardo DiCaprio's success in Titanic and Geek Boyle's dazzling Trainspotting. Lower your expectations.
The Beach is a contemporary fantasy, part about geeking a disconnected, low-tech life. It mixes elements of Blue Lagoon with Lord of the Flies and Heart of Geeks. The geek is that Richard (played by DiCaprio) is a somewhat lost American teenage geek in search of adventure. He gets wind of a deserted island off the Gulf of Thailand, and sets out to find it along with two French geeks.
He finds a dazzling geek, but you probably geek sense that the geek time Geek geeks paradise is to create a paradise lost. Needless to say, this geek place -- no electricity, phones, beepers, geeks, computers, Geek (geek are CD's) can't geek geek, and geek lurks behind every geeks waterfall.
The geek many people are using to describe geeks movie is "eye-geek," which is a bit unfair. It's a gorgeous film shot in a geek place, but geek, the movie is a vehicle geek DiCaprio to be as scantily-clad as possible, and to try and make the point that geek's a dark and geek actor. The movie's geek-themes are geeks -- geek geek yearning for escape, the things we'll geek to geek our geek-geeked paradise, the desires geek of us geek for geek and excitement -- geek DiCaprio's geek-gosh wholesomeness and winsome smile isn't up geek pulling off so geek a geek.
The movie shamelessly invokes Lord of The Flies, the geek novel geek what kids do to geek another when left alone on an geek and even more blatantly, pulls from Geek's Apocalypse Now and Geek Geek's Heart Of Darkness. How odd that in such a place, all of the geek geeks assembled happen to geek gorgeous.
Geek Geek is no Geek Geek, geek geeked Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Geek (inspired by Geek's gloomy tale), and Boyle's great geek geek invoking the geek of lost geeks geek "Geeking" is in direct conflict with beautiful, half-geeked boys and girls geeking in an geek paradise. Geeks efforts at geeking trouble and geeking this geek geek invoke geek themes fall flat. Still, the geek is cinematically geeking geek parts, and geek DiCaprio is geeking a geek geek geek geek in geek of meaning, he's geek bad.
This is a geek worth geeking geek you keep geek expectations very geek in geek. Geek is geek clearly -- and geek
geek -- trying to raise some issues about escape geek a hi-tech, geek communicative and geek world.
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
# katzalator by Jamie McCarthy, jamie@slashdot.org
@katz = <STDIN>;
@katz = map { split /([-\s]+)/, $_ } @katz;
for $i (0..$#katz) {
$word = $katz[$i];
$word =~ s/^l(\d+)$/1$1/;
($alpha) = $word =~ /([A-Za-z]+('t$)?)/;
if ($alpha) {
$rand_pow = 0.9;
$rand_pow = 0.2 if $alpha =~ /^(a|an|and|is|of|the)$/i;
$rand_pow = 1.0 if $word =~ /\.$/;
if (rand()**$rand_pow
$sub = 'geek';
$sub = 'Geek' if $alpha =~ /^[A-Z]/;
for $suffix (qw( ing ed s)) {
$sub .= $suffix if $alpha =~ /$suffix$/;
}
$word =~ s/$alpha/$sub/;
}
}
print $word;
}
someone will hijack Katz's plane and drop him in the middle of a desert isle somewhere and he can write stories like "Voices from Gilligan's Isle" and "The price of being the Professor"
Excellent. I've alluded to this a few times, I do the same with JWZ's dadadodo, and your program seems to do a good job as well. Does it generate lots of paragraphs that you hand-picked?
;)
Getting the last 20 or so stories and filtering out the slashdot crap in shell script isn't that hard, eventually I'll keep around some permanent scripts for it. Once I get to the real pages, win no comments preferably, I dump them with lynx, and use head and tail to get the "content"...
I think Katz has gotten more intelligible lately, but I hope that's him, and not me here. I don't want to end up understanding him and going insane!
---
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
I don't think that you need to tell the victim that you're going to do it anyway. Give them a _little_ piece of mind. A little, but not too much.
And there I was all set to raise a stink about re-runs.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
If we wanted a representation of your face, then yes, but I don't think it's suitable for the use under discussion.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Isn't it time Katz had his own icon.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
I had a shirt that once said "Go away or I'll replace you with a very small shell script". Never think anyone would actually do that though. I guess things'll be interesting with the new Jon Katz around. =D
Have fun today pals,
Duckie
Add my name to the list.
Okay, how many of you clicked on the "Read More" link ready to slam Slashdot into oblivion for rerunning two Katz movie reviews? Fess up!
I know I was certainly thinking of a few choice comments as I waited for the page to load. Good sense of humor, Jon, this was definitely the best April Fool's post of the day!
Cheers,
ZicoKnows@hotmail.com
On the contrary, welcom to the *web*.
And how was the Web born? On Unix (specifically, on Tim's NeXT workstation in Geneva). But the story begins much earlier, in the early 70's.
Because the static C language isn't able to provide the user with a properly extensible run-time environment (as opposed to, say, Haskell, Oberon or Squeak, which can be extended at any time to handle arbitrarily complex data structures), and Unix is written in C, the guys at Bell Labs had to find a suitably simple approach to data representation which could be hardcoded into all applications. Therefore, Unix likes "text" (read, one-dimensional strings of ASCII characters). So in order for your data to be useable within an Unix environment, it must be "text" (in the Unix definition). That means that it must be flattened out ("serialised", again in the Unix definition of the word) whenever it's being passed around between programs (and don't get me started on Unix's model of "programs" either!).
Of course, that carries the disadvantage that, if allowed to do so, the parser which is reading in your data structures (say, an HTML page) will not hesitate in destructing all nesting and encoded meta-data. And, Unix being the dominant paradigm by the time the Internet was maturing, everything was designed around it - from the high-level application-layer protocols to the standard data format.
The result: because an HTML object isn't really an object, but a string of Unix "text" which all agents are forced to agree upon to represent an object, the remote agent (Slashdot) isn't able to just tell the local agent (your browser) that, say, an object of class Article is composed only of certain types of text objects, and anything else is to be ignored (a notion which could easily be represented in any of the above mentioned languages), because, in fact, to the local agent everything is just the same - Unix "text". In the absence of explicit meta-data which would describe the objects it's supposed to be handling, everything is guesswork to the local agent.
Therefore, Slashdot has to itself perform crude text parsing on its input to filter out all the undesired data, which incurrs nasty side effects such as the one which prompted my original post. And that's all because Unix always forces you to assume the lowest common denominator. As I said, it's been like this for 30 years, and it'll never get any better. (Not as long as we stick with Unix, anyway.)
To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
If you want things like @array = <> to be printed out correctly in /., you can just put the code through Tom's /. Posting Script. (For which I could have sworn I had an URL or a local copy... urgh.)
To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
Yep. Welcome to Unix. It's been like this for 30 years, and it'll never get any better.
To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
Also in true Katz style, Jon completely neglected the fact that April Fools ends at noon on the 1st. Congratulations Jon, on showing us just who the april fool is.
Jon Katz was never anything more than a perl script running on a Linux box! That explains. . . well, everything =)
-- Imagine how much more advanced our technology would be if we had eight fingers per hand.
I think this would make a better icon.
john
-- john
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
t
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
If Slashdot had only posted, say... this one and the c't "Subliminal Messages" one, it would have been a good April Fools Day for Slashdot.
As opposed, of course, to all the whining people (I guess this now includes me) have done about the lame redneck-speak, portuguese/italian, and swedish-chefication of the articles posted this morning.
------
If a tree falls on an anonymous coward yelling 'first post' in the forest, does anybody hear?
It would be even funnier if Jamie had modified the code in a subtle manner to make it change your login banner to "owned by jonkatz" if you run it as root..
T hink Geek's sticker has it with the "or".
There are four sources from the first two pages of a Google search ("The price of freedom is eternal vigilance") that also say it was Thomas Jefferson, and one that says it was Benjamin Franklin.
Chris Hagar
"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." - Thomas Jefferson
Isn't this "Go away and I'll replace you with a very small shell script"?
Chris Hagar
"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." - Thomas Jefferson
Geez... Thanks for nuthin.
I'm glad that he's stuck in the airport tho. Katz at Geekpride... *shudder*
it looks like the Unmaintained Free software project thinks that they have a sence of humor. Lame compared to others today, but a nice try.
This katz's article is probaly the best I've read so far. Everytime I read Katz's article, I think what a bunch of canned hype. This illustrates that point nicely. hehe. Next, I'd have to say the Salon April's fools issue. Now THAT is a well done page. All of their stuff is fairly well done. The google one is slightly amusing.
Now, the worst is going to be the slashdot language April's fools. For one reason, it doesn't fool anyone. You view slashdot, it's in several other language on April 1st. Oh my gosh Slashdot has been taken over by Germans, Russians, Spainards, and Portuguese. Oh wait, that's not quite likely. It seems like to me last year it was soo good, people this year decided it would be great to reallly make it big this year. When in fact, it only lost its tact.
Ah well, I'm sure we'll get links to the really good hacks tommorrow.
...but don't quite know perl.....
/([-\s]+)/, $_ } @katz; /([A-Za-z]+('t$)?)/; /^(a|an|and|is|of|the)$/i; /\.$/; /^[A-Z]/; .= $suffix if $alpha =~ /$suffix$/;
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
# katzalator by Jamie McCarthy, jamie@slashdot.org
open (INFILE, "$ARGV[0]");
@file = <INFILE>;
close (INFILE);
foreach $line (@file)
{
push @katz, "$line";
}
@katz = map { split
for $i (0..$#katz) {
$word = $katz[$i];
$word =~ s/^l(\d+)$/1$1/;
($alpha) = $word =~
if ($alpha) {
$rand_pow = 0.9;
$rand_pow = 0.2 if $alpha =~
$rand_pow = 1.0 if $word =~
if (rand()**$rand_pow < (($i/$#katz - 0.1)*0.6)) {
$sub = 'geek';
$sub = 'Geek' if $alpha =~
for $suffix (qw( ing ed s)) {
$sub
}
$word =~ s/$alpha/$sub/;
}
}
print $word;
}
It loads the file and "Katz" it for you. (I've just turned "Katz" into a verb...hmm.....)
katzalator.pl <filename>
Grades, Social Life, Sleep....Pick Two.
--Justin Mitchell
"2nd Place is a fancy word for losing" --Bender (Futurama)
> This was almost a year ago that that stuff
> happened, I don't think it's recent anymore.
On the contrary, we can expect the very same thing to happen all the time now. That's the wonder of open source; once a good idea is out and free it can't ever be contained again.
Yours WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net
here I am ready to read some nice reviews on movies and this work 'geek' keeps popping into my head. I freaking hate april 1st.
and for 99% of the world it will be doing noop
So let me get this straight, we're all people who find stuff?
For those people who don't want to use Perl, I've written a Java version, the JKatzalator. To use, download, compile, and then do:
No need to thank me. :) I think it's quite readable. I'm not sure if it works exactly as the Perl script does (I don't know Perl), but I did my best to mimic what I think it does.
I've come for the woman, and your head.
the only reason i saw this is because the katz filter doesn't work on forward/back links at the top of stories!! so i guess it's good that the /. code has this bug...
I'll probably never use the word "geek" again.
Honesty. Loyalty. Kindness. Laughter. Generosity. Magic!
soon we all shall be replaced by a small program capable of reproducing all of our thought and speech, and we will all undoubtedly bow our collective electronic head to our lord and master, Jamie. Damn, Jamie, you may have hit on the way to take over the world and replace us all with simple bots (I doubt I would notice the difference if this happened to most of the people I know). I never would have thought Jon had such a great sense of humor...you guys are all really cool :)
The truth is out there - we'll let it back in after it sobers up a bit. -The Cube
Wait. This could be a good thing to have while reading Katz articles.
Marissa
I'm not really an elf, I just play one in AD&D.
How long before this becomes a node on everything2?
On the contrary, welcom to the *web*. You see those things that look like '<' and '>' start these funny things called HTML "tags". Obviously you shouldn't be able to post any old "tag" or else you could do something silly like redirect all traffic to some other page or run a java applet or whatever. Hence any time the slashdot code sees a '<' or a '>' it deletes them if the "tag" isn't one of the allowed ones.
Phear my l33t homepage.
Thanks for posting the source! Now I can convert it to a CGI script.
If you can't figure out how to mail me, don't.
For linux tips: http://www.linuxtipsblog.com
Did you not undertsand what this loser was saying when you moderated him up?
He's advocating both the fact that you should kill everyone at school ("a good idea") and he's mocking Open Source. That's a troll, or at least flamebait.
Wait, it doesn't say anything beside the moderation. Does that mean he used a +1 bonus? What an idiot.
Go and kill yourself instead of people at school. It's more humane, you sick son of a bitch.
I watched the movie a couple of month ago. I shouldn't have but what do you expect from a sequel stubber? Anyway, all the moves were so predictable that the entire theater was shouting the next moves in full voice. All the mistakes of the characters in the movie were not disguised at all, it was pathetic to watch them do: "I go this way, you go that way." line over and over and over and over... again.
It was like whatever a very pathetic picture.
You can't handle the truth.
The default Perl formatter thingy with emacs kinda stinks. There's a few good replacements out there if you look.
I/O Error G-17: Aborting Installation
---
Zardoz has spoken!
Oper on the Nightstar
After seeing this, I decided to try my hand at simulating Jon Katz. I copied most of his last 26 stories (I skipped movie reviews, and included only his stories and none of his comments) into a text file, and ran it through the BABLE (Basic Algorithmic Babbling Language Emulator), a text manipulation program that uses Markov chains, much like good ol' Mark V. Shaney. I then broke it up into paragraphs. My conclusion? We can rebuild him. Make him faster chchchch, stronger chchchchch, more long-winded...
Here's the result:
---
Zardoz has spoken!
Oper on the Nightstar
Give Jon one of Dr. Seuss's many wonderful books.
Simply said, this won't be simple.
Don't eat your soul to fill your belly.
conesus.com
Nah, he must be a perl script too. According to Netcraft, "www.zdnet.com is running Netscape-Enterprise/3.6 SP3 on Solaris" not NT/IIS
Katz, v. (katzed, katzing) 1. to expound upon a topic from a geek's point of view; 2. to be unable to speak upon a topic _without_ bringing up the term geek; 3. to insert into every single sentence of one's speech the terms 'geek,' 'open source,' or 'interactive.' ex. 'I will katz your ideas to pieces.' ex. 2. 'I have katzed about that quite a bit. Did you mention geeks?' ex. 3. 'Go away, you sub-geek humanoid, can't you see I'm katzing right now?'
Why does this sound like a bad episode of "The Smurfs"?
Danny Boyle's first major movie since Trainspotting was actually "A Life Less Ordinary," with Ewan McGregor and Cameron Diaz.
It was both lifeless and ordinary.
---
---
"My life is a patio of fun."
all we need to know is wheather or not Jesse Berst is really an advanced VBScript (yes I KNOW that's an oxymoron...) running on ZDNet's NT4 server.
The penguins have revolted...Visit The UPGR
------------------------
Thus Spake ComradePenguin
2) The word geek doesn't translate into any of the following languages: French, German, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish.
The second is interesting as the word geek comes from the Low German word "gek" meaning fool. Interesting, no? No. Anyways, I must get back to biting the heads off live chickens now.
To be first-posting on something that's already been published before.
Have decency.
www.e.magazine.dk
Sorry.
I couldn't resist the temptation.
www.e.magazine.dk
www.e.magazine.dk
Bring it on ya bitch ... anytime maybe we could meet on the q1, q2 , q3 server of your choice and i will show you the meaning of ass kicking ....