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Beer and Bacteria to be used in Toxin Cleanup

Posted by Hemos on from the cleaning-it-up dept.

GospelHead821 writes "According to this article in Popular Science, a chemistry student at the University of Tulsa is driving research into use of toxin-munching "sulfate-reducing bacteria" (SRBs) to help cleanup toxic, solid effluent from abandoned zinc and lead mines near her home. Where does the beer come in? Apparently, it has proved an excellent food source for the bacteria and helps to extend the lifespan of the normally short-lived SRBs by several months. Currently, the procedure is in the testing phase, with models being employed to simulate the conditions that would be present in a large-scale detoxification plant, which in turn, is based on the natural wetlands from which these bacteria hail."

115 comments

  1. fp!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    first post!@!

  2. frist pr0st fr by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    frist pr0st fr

    1. Re:frist pr0st fr by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      too sl0w. if this was tha wild west you would have been sm0ked.

  3. fp by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    fp

  4. ATTENTION ALL TROLLS by Trolligula · · Score: -1

    attention all trolls:

    please report to Purplesplash.com for your TrollKit

    --

    In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women!-H.Simpson
    1. Re:ATTENTION ALL TROLLS by Sunken+Kursk · · Score: -1

      Do not click, it's a goatse.cx link.

      I wish someone had warned me about that before I opened it at work. I bet the firewall logs look interesting now.

      --

      When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

    2. Re:ATTENTION ALL TROLLS by CmdrTaco+(User+1) · · Score: -1, Troll

      The above poster (Trolligula) has been banned for 72 hours. This includes his account, his IP, and his class B subnet.

      Slashdot will not tolerate scripted abuse. That kind of script is exactly what killed kuro5hin yesterday.

      --


      ==
      Pants are still optional,

      but recommended for you.
  5. I think I've heard about this by suqur · · Score: 1

    Yeah, they're using this in the dump by my house. Nice!

  6. Ok, hold up by sllort · · Score: 4, Funny

    Are you telling me these bacteria are getting free beer?

    Goddamnit that's just not right.

    1. Re:Ok, hold up by shawb · · Score: 1

      Not free beer, they get paid beer in exchange for doing work: cleaning up the toxins.

      --
      I'll never make that mistake again, reading the experts' opinions. - Feynman
    2. Re:Ok, hold up by Elwood+P+Dowd · · Score: 2

      Bacteria frat party in the toxins! Woo hoo! Let's go!

      --

      There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
    3. Re:Ok, hold up by (void*) · · Score: 2

      Don't be jealous. Unlike the bacteria, you (still) have free speech.

    4. Re:Ok, hold up by ajmarks · · Score: 1

      They are using stale beer for this. Only a fool would poor a fresh Corona on the ground.

      --
      Opinions are not Informative, though they may be Insightful or Interesting.
    5. Re:Ok, hold up by benedict · · Score: 2

      The fool would have to find a fresh Corona first, which is no mean feat even for a wise man.

      --
      Ben "You have your mind on computers, it seems."
  7. mmmm by Kallahar · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sounds like the Spirit cooled computers from a few years back!

    Alcohol sure does work wonders :)

  8. If I remember correctly... by gmplague · · Score: 4, Informative

    If I remember correctly, they did a kind of similar thing when the Exxon Valdez oil ship crashed... I think there was some bacteria that had been engineered to live off oil, and so they dropped some bacteria on the oil and that cleaned up much of it. This is from my freshman biology class, so I'm not quite sure if it's accurate.

    --
    __________________________________________
    Take comfort in your ignorance.
    Grandmaster Plague
    1. Re:If I remember correctly... by caesar-auf-nihil · · Score: 5, Informative

      You are correct, there are certain types of bacteria that have the right enzymes to break down hydrocarbons into units the bacteria can actually use as food/cell-building chemicals.

      The only problem with them is that like almost all bacteria, they are UV sensitive, so they were most effective at night and under the oil slick. In the morning, most of the colonies would get wiped out by the sunlight.

      These bacteria are slightly different in that they seem to be breaking down not hydrocarbon (oil) waste, but heavy metal waste. What I couldn't glean from the article was what the bacteria are doing with the waste once they injest it. Yes, they've broken it down, but you have to atomistic/matter conservation here, so the toxic zinc and other heavy metals have to go somewhere. Since beer is needed to feed the bacteria, they're obviously not using the heavy metals to generate more of themselves or create some special zinc-containing enzyme. My guess is that the bacteria break down the toxic form of the zinc/heavy metals and turn it into something easier for the environment to handle. However, I have no idea here what those bacteria are doing with it. I wish the popular science article had been more verbose in scientific content.

      --
      -When going for broke, go for Ithaca!
    2. Re:If I remember correctly... by KarmaBlackballed · · Score: 2

      And the captain was feeding on beer too.

      --

      --- -- - -
      Give me LIBERTY, or give me a check.
    3. Re:If I remember correctly... by JWhitlock · · Score: 3, Informative
      If I remember correctly, they did a kind of similar thing when the Exxon Valdez oil ship crashed... I think there was some bacteria that had been engineered to live off oil, and so they dropped some bacteria on the oil and that cleaned up much of it. This is from my freshman biology class, so I'm not quite sure if it's accurate.

      You are correct. If I remember correctly, this bacteria was patented by the company that developed it. Others wanted to copy the bacteria and challenged the patent, and eventually the Supreme Court ruled that you could patent an organism under the U.S. Patent law. This led to the rush to patent every human gene that a start-up lab could get their hands on, by only speculating what possible uses the gene might have.

      Anyone remember the case more clearly?

    4. Re:If I remember correctly... by NerveGas · · Score: 1



      It's not a "Shazam, you're clean" process. A year or two ago, they measured the level of oil in the soil, and found it to be just bout half of what it was after the spill. The bacteria work, but it's a long, slow road.

      steve

      --
      Oh, you're not stuck, you're just unable to let go of the onion rings.
  9. Well, it's about time by UsonianAutomatic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Somebody finally found a fitting use for Budweiser, Coors, Miller, et al!

    1. Re:Well, it's about time by FaRuvius · · Score: 1

      Actually, the dark, thick, rich beers would work better, since they all have MORE carbs.

      --
      Need to get away?
      Adirondack Vacations
  10. Which beer? by Darth+RadaR · · Score: 2

    I'm sure those little SRBs will go better and be less hung over if they're given some decent beer instead of some swill like Miluakee's Beast.

    --
    /*drunk.. fix later*/
    1. Re:Which beer? by genkael · · Score: 1

      But why would you want to waste the good stuff like Bass, Samual Adams, Fat Tire, Guinness, etc? Coors, miller and bud are just...bad. Yes I only live a few miles from Golden Colorado, and a Anheiser Busche plant isn't to far away either...now I know what they're using it for!

      --
      GeneralKael -- Slacker Extraordinaire
    2. Re:Which beer? by Darth+RadaR · · Score: 1

      You ever try to work on a Miller induced hangover? :)

      --
      /*drunk.. fix later*/
  11. Sorry, I couldn't resist. by devphil · · Score: 5, Funny
    with models being employed to simulate the conditions that would be present in a large-scale detoxification plant,

    And it runs on beer? You'll also have to build a second detox facility for the workers...

    --
    You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
    1. Re:Sorry, I couldn't resist. by suwain_2 · · Score: 4, Troll

      with models being employed

      I fail to see where the models come in. The bacteria get beer and women?

      --
      ________________________________________________
      suwain_2 :: quality slashdot p
    2. Re:Sorry, I couldn't resist. by The+Turd+Report · · Score: -1

      When I die I want to be reincarnated as a bacteria! Just laying around all day, eating and drinking beer while checking out hot babes; Hell, it would be like being Hugh Heffner.

      --
      Michael Loves Me!
    3. Re:Sorry, I couldn't resist. by Tim+C · · Score: 2

      Presumably "simulate" is a typo, and should be "stimulate" ;-)

      Cheers,

      Tim

      --
      It's official. Most of you are morons.
  12. open-source tie-in by sweet+reason · · Score: 2, Funny

    will this technology be free as in speech, or free as in beer?

    --
    Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -- A.E.
    1. Re:open-source tie-in by Sunken+Kursk · · Score: -1

      Hahahahahahahahaha
      Hahahahahahahahaha
      Hahahahahahahahaha
      Hahahahahahahahaha
      Hahahahahahahahaha
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      All the comedians on here are making me bust a gut. Oh my goodness, you all need to stop, you're all just so funny. Please, please, nobody tell any more jokes.

      I'm amazed at the quality of jokes here on Slashdot. Everyone is just so witty! I can only hope that one day I too will be able to crack a joke as slyly as all you Slashdotters. Okay, I think I'm able to breathe again. Hoo boy, you guys just know how to do it.

      Every one of you should be modded up to +5, funny. And if anyone comes by afterwards and metamods you down as "Over-Rated," I will beat them with the steering wheel from a Buick. You all deserve mad karma from all these jokes. I'm still laughing.

      Lamers.

      --

      When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

  13. Beer! by checkyoulater · · Score: 1

    Finally. As interesting as all the studies about caffeine are, it is refreshing to read one about my other vice. So it is only good for bacteria. At least it is good for something.

    I really like the last sentence. Serving beer to bacteria. Could have sworn it was talking about me and my friends!

    --
    Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
  14. I can see where the beer comes from... by ralmeida · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dr. Kolynsqwerky: What is this bottle of beer doing here?

    Student: It's... hmmm... an excellent food source for the bacteria and helps to extend the lifespan of the normally short-lived SRBs by several months, Dr.!

    --
    This space left intentionally blank.
  15. Leave it to a college student... by chinton · · Score: 2

    Researcher A: "How do we clean up this toxic waste..."

    Researcher B: "My group has had successful studies using this bacteria. The only problem is that it dies out too quickly."

    Researcher A: "Well, how do we keep it alive long enough to do any good..."

    Researcher Delta: "BREWSKIS!!!!!!!! WOOOOO HOOOO!"

  16. Repost of another /.? by lonesome+phreak · · Score: 5, Informative

    This sounds familiar...

    old article:

    night_flyer writes: "Stale Beer may be used to clean up one of the worst superfund sites in the U.S. ... Now the question is, who leaves beer in the fridge long enough to go stale?" The site in question is a former zinc mine in Oklahoma which is full of toxic leavings, and has been on the EPA's Superfund hotlist for a few decades. A University of Tulsa professor named Tom Harris, who originally considered mollasses, is quoted as saying that "a wetlands treated with beer would be more effective in removing zinc and lead from runoff water than an untreated wetlands."

    It's the same guy, the same research, but just a different application!

    --
    Maybe we DID take the blue pill. You wouldn't remember anyway.
    1. Re:Repost of another /.? by rice_burners_suck · · Score: 2

      It's the same guy, the same research, but just a different application!

      Given enough time and research money, this guy will figure out how to do everything with beer!

      • Automobiles, trucks, trains and airplanes that run on beer instead of gasoline.
      • A laptop computer that uses batteries that run on beer. No recharging--simply pour in a bottle of Negra Modelo (and throw in a lime for extra performance).
      • Power plants that run on beer.
      • Vacuum cleaners that run on beer.
      • Medicinal beer. (As opposed to medicinal marijuana.)
      • Beer in the Workplace, a business management strategy. (Patent pending.)
      • Beer replaces water in swimming pools.
      • Watering your garden with beer.
      • And many more!

      Oh well.

    2. Re:Repost of another /.? by blair1q · · Score: 2


      Long ago, when I was in school, I left half a bottle of Ballantine's Ale open on my lab desk for two years.

      Absolutely nothing grew on or in it.

      --Blair
      "Macro Brew is Good for You."

    3. Re:Repost of another /.? by elfkicker · · Score: 2

      Watering your garden with beer.

      Back in college I actually used to fertilze my pot plants with stale beer. It worked pretty well. It's also a great idea in gardens which get attacked by slugs and some type of bacteria.

    4. Re:Repost of another /.? by VA+Software · · Score: 1

      Automobiles, trucks, trains and airplanes that run on beer instead of gasoline.

      But .. beer is more expensive than gasoline.
      Gallon of gas (in OR) : about $1.70
      Pint of beer : about $3.00

      (Yeah, both prices are inflated because of government duties etc. Beer is easier & cheaper to make and less polluting)

      --

      ---
      http://slashdot.org/moderation.shtml
  17. TAMPAX endorses slashdot.org! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Flamebait

    Press Release - New York, New York

    In news today P&G announced support for a slashdot.org employee - "Taco".

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    Call 1-800-UP-UR-ASS

    I'm Zorro! I'm also a congenital liar with delsusions and generalised anxiety disorder. But hey... no shit, right?

  18. Tiny little steins by isomeme · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know, this gives a whole new meaning to "microbrew".

    --
    When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
  19. Good! by Adrian+Voinea · · Score: 1

    Finally, I know what to tell my friends when they ask me why I drink *so much* beer...
    "I'm just doin' it to remove the extra zinc and lead from my body, guys!"...Yeah right!

  20. MOD THIS UP! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Stupid admins!

  21. Beer Cleans Up a Mess? by monkeyserver.com · · Score: 1

    well this is the first time I have heard of Beer helping to clean up a toxic mess. Best I can remember from my fraternity days it seemed to be the cause of many toxic messes.

    (sorry I think that was obligatory)

    --
    http://monkeyserver.com --- weeeeee
  22. i see.. by Tregod · · Score: 1

    So, with enough beer, they can get some schmoe off the streets real drunk and talk him into cleaning up toxic sludge? beer works wonders. Now, where does the bacteria fit in.....

    This is coming from the guy who was too lazy to actually read the article.

  23. And you can only guess... by nettdata · · Score: 1

    And you can only guess how the beer was originally introduced into the mix...

    Researcher A: Man! Another failure... what are we doing wrong?

    Researcher B: I don't know... here... let's have a beer before we take off...

    *sprrrt* of opening the can...

    Researcher B: Hey! Watch where you're spraying it!

    The rest is history.

    --



    $0.02 (CDN)
    1. Re:And you can only guess... by VA+Software · · Score: 2, Funny


      Beer from cans? Urgh!

      --

      ---
      http://slashdot.org/moderation.shtml
    2. Re:And you can only guess... by Eevee · · Score: 1

      Researcher A: Hey! You got beer in my bacteria!

      Researcher B: Hey! You got bacteria in my beer!

      Announcer: You get two great tastes in one toxic waste cleaning solution!

  24. College students+Beer+My Pit of a Room+Federal . . by Limburgher · · Score: 2, Funny

    . Funding. Nice. First Pot helps with glaucoma, then beer is good for the environment. What's next, qualudes to beef up your firewall?

    --

    You are not the customer.

  25. 76th post! by Nick · · Score: 0, Troll

    76th fp!

    --
    Fuck Ajit Pai
    1. Re:76th post! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Just wait until an admin gives you a -1 hot sauce enema. Then you'll be sorry!

  26. Nice Trick by Erris · · Score: 2, Funny
    Not free beer, they get paid beer in exchange for doing work: cleaning up the toxins.

    Get em drunk and set them loose. Poor little things. They are going to have a hell of a hangover when they are finished with all that dirty work.

    --
    DMCA, Hollings, Palladium. What might have sounded like paranoia is now common sense.
  27. What geeks have known for years... by Lxy · · Score: 2

    it has proved an excellent food source ... and helps to extend the lifespan...

    Mmmm.... beer.

    --

    There is no reasonable defense against an idiot with an agenda
    :wq
  28. Rename the story! by uigrad_2000 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Intoxicated bacteria help remove toxins!

    --
    Free unix account: freeshell.org
  29. At last by heikkile · · Score: 2

    Some use (and justification!) for all those homebrew experiments that somehow ended tasting like ********

    --

    In Murphy We Turst

  30. The Truth About Slim Anus (aka CmdrTaco)... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    ...and the rest of the Slashdot crew.

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    1. Re:The Truth About Slim Anus (aka CmdrTaco)... by Chooker · · Score: 1

      Sorry, I may be mistaken for thinking this, but, that was kinda lame...

      --
      "I feel so cold, on hookers and gin... this mess we're in"
    2. Re:The Truth About Slim Anus (aka CmdrTaco)... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      FUCK THAT!

  31. Everglades by Talisman · · Score: 5, Informative

    This isn't original, save feeding the bugs with beer.

    We used Desulfovibrio desulfuricans to treat water in the Everglades with high mercury levels.

    Modified Pseudomonas aeruginosa have been used for years to clean up oil spills from the hard to get places. Like in between rocks and underneath sand.

    Microbes: they're not just for diseases anymore.

    Talisman

    --

    "Study your math, kids. Key to the universe." -The Archangel Gabriel
  32. Tiny little vats, too by Spamalamadingdong · · Score: 1
    You do realize that beer is made by other microorganisms (yeast), so the consumption of beer by bacteria is just making things a little more equal between the producers and consumers?

    (Yeah, I'm back. Maybe.)

    --
    Scientists restrict study to entire physical universe; creationist
  33. Important News of CmdrTaco (aka Slim Anus)... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    ...and the rest of the Slashdot crew.

    This is the truth about Slim Anus (aka. CmdrTaco) sung by none other than CmdrTaco.

    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is Slim Anus
    Hi, my name is huh?
    My name is what?
    My name is the fudgepacker
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who? (Excuse me)
    My name is the nutlicker
    Hi, my name is what? (Can I have the attention of your ass?)
    My name is who?
    My name is the buttsniffer
    Hi, kids do you like Anus?
    I let Linus Torvalds fill up my butt for one chance to be famous (Uh huh)
    Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did (Yeah)
    Try acid and get your butt pumped out like I did
    My brains dead weight
    I'm tryin to get my head straight
    But I can't figure out
    Which Backstreet Boy I wanna impregnate?
    Timothy said CmdrTaco you a cutie (Uh huh)
    I'll give you a deal let me up in that booty (OK!)
    Well since age 12 I felt like I'm someone else
    Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt (Yup)
    Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
    She don't know how to do Timothy
    I'd suck his dick off
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus it gets tapped dawg
    Hi, my anus (Excuse me)
    My anus
    My anus every now and then gets plugged up
    Hi, my anus (Can I have the attention of your ass?)
    My anus
    My anus is occasionally reamed out
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus really needs to be filled up
    My boss wanted to fire me yesterday
    I told him to take his pants off, hooked him up, he let me slide
    I pinched his ass
    He winked at me
    He chased me around the desk
    I told him come and get me
    Walked in the strip club
    Had my jacket zipped up
    Flashed the bartender
    And I tried to feel his dick up
    Extra-terestrial runnin over pedestrians
    In a space ship while they screamin at me
    Let's just be friends!
    99% of my life I was lied to
    I just found out my Mom screws more guys than I do (Damn)
    I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
    She met CowboyNeal I couldn't believe it when he slapped her
    You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
    And try to touch your hands
    But I need me a man
    This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude can I get your
    autograph?)
    So I signed it Dear Alan Cox, thanks for the support
    Nice ass!
    Hi, my name is huh?
    My name is who? (Excuse me)
    My name is (They call me the pore plugger)
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is the inch itcher (Excuse me)
    One of Slashdot's gay boys
    They call me the butt itcher
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is (I've been called Hemos' butt boy)
    Stop the tape this gaylord needs to be locked away (Get him)
    Cliff don't just stand there operate
    Or feel up my balls and buttcheeks
    Anal lube got my ass greasy for weeks
    Stick your manhood between my cheeks (Yup)
    Am I cumming or going
    I can barely decide
    I just drank a pint of semen
    Dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
    All my life I was very deprived
    CowboyNeal's butt is too sexy to hide
    Take your pants off Neal I don't mind
    Clothes rip like the incredible gay Hulk
    I spit when I talk
    I'll do any guy that walks
    When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
    Sometimes I sit and wish Hemos had a set of tits
    Get behind me CowboyNeal and grab me by my hips
    If I do that then I can't kiss you on your lips
    By the way if you see my Dad
    Ask him if he seen my spread in Gay Al's porno mag
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus gets tapped up
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus it's always getting plugged up
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus occasionally reamed out
    My anus it needs to be filled up
    Your anus
    Your anus
    Your anus is always getting plugged
    Your anus
    Your anus
    Your anus is always getting stuffed
    You wanna diss us?
    We don't even know you you little bitch
    You wanna sit there and diss us?
    You little bitch I'll slap your face off
    That's what happens when you go up against the Slashdot Trolls trick
    You little bitch (Laughs)
    Slim Anus!

    1. Re:Important News of CmdrTaco (aka Slim Anus)... by The+Turd+Report · · Score: -1

      Dude, Taco's anus is by no-means slim. It is more like fat and sloppy.

      --
      Michael Loves Me!
  34. God- the horror by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They're essentially going to pour beer into the wild.

    I'm sorry, but that's a pretty high price to pay to save the planet. I mean, what if we run out?

    1. Re:God- the horror by antijava · · Score: 3, Funny

      Finally, someone has found a use for American beer :-)

  35. in the immortal words of Homer J... by Kargan · · Score: 1

    To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

    --
    Palaces, barricades, threats, meet promises
    1. Re:in the immortal words of Homer J... by Sarcasm_Orgasm · · Score: 1

      Doh, I was going to say that...I should've just hit reply instead of scrolling so far.

      --
      Special people have long socks, ride short buses, & invent witty sigs.
  36. Newsflash by austad · · Score: 2

    Reuters -- Kemps announced today that it will be adding Yo-Beer to it's line of Yo-J branded drinks. The state of Oklahoma has agreed to purchase 76 million gallons of Yo-Beer to help clean up the state. Kemps stock has risen 23% on the news. However, the Oklahoma state legislature withdrew their offer after realizing that their entire trailer park population is basically walking bags of beer and bacteria, and they are already paying millions of dollars to keep them around in the form of welfare and unemployment checks. Kemps stock fell to 10% below market open.

    --
    Need Free Juniper/NetScreen Support? JuniperForum
  37. Important News about CmdrTaco (aka Slim Anus)... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    ...and the rest of the Slashdot crew.

    This is the truth about Slim Anus (aka. CmdrTaco) sung by none other than CmdrTaco.

    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is Slim Anus
    Hi, my name is huh?
    My name is what?
    My name is the fudgepacker
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who? (Excuse me)
    My name is the nutlicker
    Hi, my name is what? (Can I have the attention of your ass?)
    My name is who?
    My name is the buttsniffer
    Hi, kids do you like Anus?
    I let Linus Torvalds fill up my butt for one chance to be famous (Uh huh)
    Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did (Yeah)
    Try acid and get your butt pumped out like I did
    My brains dead weight
    I'm tryin to get my head straight
    But I can't figure out
    Which Backstreet Boy I wanna impregnate?
    Timothy said CmdrTaco you a cutie (Uh huh)
    I'll give you a deal let me up in that booty (OK!)
    Well since age 12 I felt like I'm someone else
    Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt (Yup)
    Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
    She don't know how to do Timothy
    I'd suck his dick off
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus it gets tapped dawg
    Hi, my anus (Excuse me)
    My anus
    My anus every now and then gets plugged up
    Hi, my anus (Can I have the attention of your ass?)
    My anus
    My anus is occasionally reamed out
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus really needs to be filled up
    My boss wanted to fire me yesterday
    I told him to take his pants off, hooked him up, he let me slide
    I pinched his ass
    He winked at me
    He chased me around the desk
    I told him come and get me
    Walked in the strip club
    Had my jacket zipped up
    Flashed the bartender
    And I tried to feel his dick up
    Extra-terestrial runnin over pedestrians
    In a space ship while they screamin at me
    Let's just be friends!
    99% of my life I was lied to
    I just found out my Mom screws more guys than I do (Damn)
    I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
    She met CowboyNeal I couldn't believe it when he slapped her
    You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
    And try to touch your hands
    But I need me a man
    This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude can I get your
    autograph?)
    So I signed it Dear Alan Cox, thanks for the support
    Nice ass!
    Hi, my name is huh?
    My name is who? (Excuse me)
    My name is (They call me the pore plugger)
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is the inch itcher (Excuse me)
    One of Slashdot's gay boys
    They call me the butt itcher
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is (I've been called Hemos' butt boy)
    Stop the tape this gaylord needs to be locked away (Get him)
    Cliff don't just stand there operate
    Or feel up my balls and buttcheeks
    Anal lube got my ass greasy for weeks
    Stick your manhood between my cheeks (Yup)
    Am I cumming or going
    I can barely decide
    I just drank a pint of semen
    Dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
    All my life I was very deprived
    CowboyNeal's butt is too sexy to hide
    Take your pants off Neal I don't mind
    Clothes rip like the incredible gay Hulk
    I spit when I talk
    I'll do any guy that walks
    When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
    Sometimes I sit and wish Hemos had a set of tits
    Get behind me CowboyNeal and grab me by my hips
    If I do that then I can't kiss you on your lips
    By the way if you see my Dad
    Ask him if he seen my spread in Gay Al's porno mag
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus gets tapped up
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus it's always getting plugged up
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus occasionally reamed out
    My anus it needs to be filled up
    Your anus
    Your anus
    Your anus is always getting plugged
    Your anus
    Your anus
    Your anus is always getting stuffed
    You wanna diss us?
    We don't even know you you little bitch
    You wanna sit there and diss us?
    You little bitch I'll slap your face off
    That's what happens when you go up against the Slashdot Trolls trick
    You little bitch (Laughs)
    Slim Anus!

  38. Cool by corinath · · Score: 1

    What do you know, it sounds like beer may be good for me after all. Time to start drinking more!

    Ford: ...It's rather unpleasantly like being drunk.
    Arthur: Whats so unpleasant about being drunk?
    Ford: Ask a glass of water.
    --Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

    --
    Hockey - Canada's gift to the world
  39. Important News About CmdrTaco (aka Slim Anus)... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    ...and the rest of the Slashdot crew.

    This is the truth about Slim Anus (aka. CmdrTaco) sung by none other than CmdrTaco.

    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is Slim Anus
    Hi, my name is huh?
    My name is what?
    My name is the fudgepacker
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who? (Excuse me)
    My name is the nutlicker
    Hi, my name is what? (Can I have the attention of your ass?)
    My name is who?
    My name is the buttsniffer
    Hi, kids do you like Anus?
    I let Linus Torvalds fill up my butt for one chance to be famous (Uh huh)
    Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did (Yeah)
    Try acid and get your butt pumped out like I did
    My brains dead weight
    I'm tryin to get my head straight
    But I can't figure out
    Which Backstreet Boy I wanna impregnate?
    Timothy said CmdrTaco you a cutie (Uh huh)
    I'll give you a deal let me up in that booty (OK!)
    Well since age 12 I felt like I'm someone else
    Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt (Yup)
    Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
    She don't know how to do Timothy
    I'd suck his dick off
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus it gets tapped dawg
    Hi, my anus (Excuse me)
    My anus
    My anus every now and then gets plugged up
    Hi, my anus (Can I have the attention of your ass?)
    My anus
    My anus is occasionally reamed out
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus really needs to be filled up
    My boss wanted to fire me yesterday
    I told him to take his pants off, hooked him up, he let me slide
    I pinched his ass
    He winked at me
    He chased me around the desk
    I told him come and get me
    Walked in the strip club
    Had my jacket zipped up
    Flashed the bartender
    And I tried to feel his dick up
    Extra-terestrial runnin over pedestrians
    In a space ship while they screamin at me
    Let's just be friends!
    99% of my life I was lied to
    I just found out my Mom screws more guys than I do (Damn)
    I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
    She met CowboyNeal I couldn't believe it when he slapped her
    You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
    And try to touch your hands
    But I need me a man
    This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude can I get your
    autograph?)
    So I signed it Dear Alan Cox, thanks for the support
    Nice ass!
    Hi, my name is huh?
    My name is who? (Excuse me)
    My name is (They call me the pore plugger)
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is the inch itcher (Excuse me)
    One of Slashdot's gay boys
    They call me the butt itcher
    Hi, my name is what?
    My name is who?
    My name is (I've been called Hemos' butt boy)
    Stop the tape this gaylord needs to be locked away (Get him)
    Cliff don't just stand there operate
    Or feel up my balls and buttcheeks
    Anal lube got my ass greasy for weeks
    Stick your manhood between my cheeks (Yup)
    Am I cumming or going
    I can barely decide
    I just drank a pint of semen
    Dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
    All my life I was very deprived
    CowboyNeal's butt is too sexy to hide
    Take your pants off Neal I don't mind
    Clothes rip like the incredible gay Hulk
    I spit when I talk
    I'll do any guy that walks
    When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
    Sometimes I sit and wish Hemos had a set of tits
    Get behind me CowboyNeal and grab me by my hips
    If I do that then I can't kiss you on your lips
    By the way if you see my Dad
    Ask him if he seen my spread in Gay Al's porno mag
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus gets tapped up
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus it's always getting plugged up
    Hi, my anus who?
    My anus what?
    My anus occasionally reamed out
    My anus it needs to be filled up
    Your anus
    Your anus
    Your anus is always getting plugged
    Your anus
    Your anus
    Your anus is always getting stuffed
    You wanna diss us?
    We don't even know you you little bitch
    You wanna sit there and diss us?
    You little bitch I'll slap your face off
    That's what happens when you go up against the Slashdot Trolls trick
    You little bitch (Laughs)
    Slim Anus!

  40. OLD NEWS! by night_flyer · · Score: 2

    Stale Beer to Clean Up Contamination?
    Posted by timothy on Monday July 30, @12:23PM

    --


    Thanks to file sharing, I purchase more CDs
    Thanks to the RIAA, I buy them used...
  41. finally! by llamalicious · · Score: 1

    I just get my hands on some of these here SRB's and bam!

    instant hangover cure!

    That has GOTTA be better than drinking raw eggs with tabasco.

  42. clean yourself up by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    same idea (for over 2000 years now), for humans.

  43. What KIND of Beer? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I was wondering if the type of beer had any effects, and if wine was being tested for the higher class microbes?

    Do bacteria like Guiness more than Coors, how about the "silver bullet"? I wonder if Polygamy Porter(Of Wasatch Beers) causes increased reproduction?

    "We drink our share and sell the rest."

  44. Wow, my dorm room... by pyrrho · · Score: 1

    ...was a lot cleaner than I thought! There was a lot of beer and bacteria in there.

    .

    --

    -pyrrho

  45. Don't worry by JediTrainer · · Score: 4, Funny

    I hear some posters expressing concern that bacteria is getting all this free beer. As far as I'm concerned - better the bacteria than me. Let me explain...

    Look at it this way - it's not all bad. I'm sure they'll be using cheap American domestic beer (yuck! yellow water!).

    At least they won't be using imported Canadian, Mexican, or (mmm!) German, etc beers. Now THAT would be tragic!

    --

    You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. The impossible just takes a little longer.
    1. Re:Don't worry by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Err... what about Belgian beer?? _Everybody_ knows that Belgian beer is simply the best beer in the world!!

  46. Uhm... by TheTomcat · · Score: 2

    I sure hope they're being careful.

  47. Where do the heavy metals go? by caesar-auf-nihil · · Score: 5, Interesting

    While this bioremediation technology looks real cool at first glance, and creates lots of beer jokes, I can see one potential flaw with it, unless I'm missing something. The flaw is that all that toxic lead and zinc have to go somewhere, even if the bacteria chew it up and remediate the soil. So where are the heavy metals going?

    My guess is that they are taken up by the bacteria and somehow locked into a protein structure, putting the metal in the bacteria cell and not in the ground. Okay fine, you've gotten the toxic metal out of the ground and into the bacteria, but now what? If the bacteria are just left in the soil, they'll eventually decay and rather than having large chunks of zinc and lead laying around, you'll have atomisically dispersed metal all over the place.

    I wish the popular science article had been more specific or verbose in how the whole thing would be engineered. My guess is that they'll have to somehow separate the soil from the bacterial colonies and burn the colony to collect the pure metal. The metal can then be recycled or stored safely. Separating the soil from the bacteria though is going to be very difficult.

    I remember a similar technology that used plants to remove mercury from contaminated water streams rather than using bacteria. The scientists took a swamp plant that naturally had an affinity for mercury ions, and selectively bred/genetically engineered the plants to have even more affinity for the toxic mercury ions. The plants roots when then dangle in the waste streams, removing the ions and moving it to the leaves (natural defense mechanism as it turns out - animals and some bugs don't want to eat mercury-toxic leaves). After awhile the plants could be "harvested" and burned, where the mercury metal could then be collected, distilled, and recycled.

    Given the sucess of the above approach (its now used by several companies that sometimes have mercury metal in their chemical waste streams) I'm surprised that a similar approach isn't used here.

    If any of you out there know how this whole process works, or where these metals are going, please let me know via this forum, I'm very interested in finding out.

    --
    -When going for broke, go for Ithaca!
    1. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by ajmarks · · Score: 1

      Finally, somebody makes an intelligent post in this thread. Why has this not been modded up?

      --
      Opinions are not Informative, though they may be Insightful or Interesting.
    2. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by Tardigrade · · Score: 1

      Agreed. I wish there was an option that would allow the user to: 1)not display; 2)downgrade; 3)only display or; 4)segregate in separate thread-domains posts based on what they were modded as.

    3. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by CaptainCarrot · · Score: 3, Informative
      I wish the popular science article had been more specific or verbose in how the whole thing would be engineered. My guess is that they'll have to somehow separate the soil from the bacterial colonies and burn the colony to collect the pure metal. The metal can then be recycled or stored safely. Separating the soil from the bacteria though is going to be very difficult.

      According to the article, an artificial wetland will be constructed and the bacteria will be seeded into the layer of organic material at the bottom of the water. Runoff from the mines will be directed into the wetland and the bacteria will bind the metal. The article doesn't say, but the presumption is that the metal will remain trapped in the organic layer, and it should remain there even after the bacteria die, especially after it gets covered with new layers of sediment and organic material.

      The main goal isn't necessarily to remove the metal from the environment completely -- this is mining country; the presence of metals in the environment is why they began mining there in the first place -- but to keep it contained and out of the groundwater. The main obstacle I see is keeping mine runoff confined to the wetland and keeping the wetland itself well-supplied with beer and SRB. How long does Harris propose to keep feeding it, anyway?

      Now if only they can do something about the sinkholes, which is a very serious physical danger to the community.

      --
      And the brethren went away edified.
    4. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by robl · · Score: 3, Informative

      Doing a quick search on google, I found this article...

      http://www.newswise.com/articles/2001/7/BEER.TUL .h tml

      Apparently the metals become trapped in the soil. They can then take an earth mover and scoop it up into dump trucks, and store it "somewhere safe".

    5. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Boy, your post is waaaay off-topic.

    6. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by robl · · Score: 1

      Whoops. There's an extra space in the URL I posted, it should look like this.

      http://www.newswise.com/articles/2001/7/BEER.TUL .h tml

    7. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by caesar-auf-nihil · · Score: 1

      Thanks for the info. If the metal gets trapped in the bacteria and it sinks to the bottom of the artificial wetland, then it should stay there and eventually get mineralized.

      However, if the wetland causes the finely atomized metals to get into the water table, then you have the same problem all over again, perhaps even worse than before. Big chunks of toxic metal are a lot harder to dissolve in groundwater than the fine colloidal metals that the bacteria are going to make.

      Then again - if you make an artifical wetland and put it over bedrock, you should be fine. However, if animals come to drink, they'll start to spread the surface contained heavy metal bacteria into the local food chain.

      --
      -When going for broke, go for Ithaca!
    8. Re:Where do the heavy metals go? by Linknoid · · Score: 1
      I do not know exactly what they do with the metals in this case, but often this type of cleanup involves bonding the metal into non-toxic compounds. These compounds can then safely stay in the environment indefinitely, without the ill effects that original metal had. I think I read about doing this with cadmium (all those rechargable ni-cad batteries, leeching cadmium from landfills into the groundwater), but I don't know if that's what's happening here.

  48. At last! A use for Budweiser! by Apuleius · · Score: 2

    That alone deserves a Nobel prize, for
    well, something..

  49. FreeBeer(tm) from the doctor? by rmadmin · · Score: 1

    Isnt penicilin(sp) some sort of bacteria (or related)? Does this mean the doctor will give me a case of beer with my medicine to extend the life of the medicine? Or would the beer make it die faster, and make it less efficient?

    --


    Can all fish swim?
    1. Re:FreeBeer(tm) from the doctor? by exceed · · Score: 1

      Penicillin is actually a mold.

      From WordNet (r) 1.6 : penicillin n : any of various antibiotics obtained from penicillium molds (or produced synthetically) and used in the treatment of various infections and diseases

      --

      void women (int money, time_t time);
  50. Mmmm ... Beer ... by ProfMoriarty · · Score: 1
    I wonder if the bacteria are using chisels to split the beer atoms? Or would the resulting explosion be too great?

    Beer. The cause of ... and solution to all of lifes problems" - Homer Simpson

    --
    Karma? Karma? I don't need no stinkin' karma.
  51. IN OTHER NEWS... by anal-johnson · · Score: -1

    Hemos has discovered the benefits of the beer enema, along with his fellow uh, "colleague" CmdrTaco

  52. This should prove a boon to the brewing industry. by Kalabajoui · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Think about it, instead of having to pay to dispose of failed batches of beer or raw materials that didn't quite pass QC, the brewing companies can sell their waste and minimize or even mitigate their losses. This reminds me of how in the early days of the steel industry, the byproduct of steel production, ethylene glycol, was often dumped in local rivers. Once the usefull properties of this substance were revealed, a former waste product became a valuable commodity. Maybe one day this kind of recycling will be the norm rather than the exception. But for now, citizens of industrialized countries, and especially America, seem content to throw away wealth in the form of unrealized potential of used goods and byproducts, or outright burn it by spewing it out the exhaust of grossly inefficient SUVs. We have a long way to go towards a sustainable, green economy that delivers on the promises of modern living, but these new innovations in recycling and pollution cleanup are a step in the right direction.

  53. What kinds of toxic messes? by dlek · · Score: 1

    Will it work on the bad jokes submitted as responses to this article?

    (Like this one?)

  54. When Is the Next Turd Report Coming? by egg+troll · · Score: -1

    When can I look forward to it?

    --

    C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
    1. Re:When Is the Next Turd Report Coming? by The+Turd+Report · · Score: -1

      The one for 11/21/2001 is posted here. Sorry if you missed it. I will be posting again tomorrow. A Thanksgiving Special!

      --
      Michael Loves Me!
    2. Re:When Is the Next Turd Report Coming? by egg+troll · · Score: -1

      Ah, that was most enlightening. I just got out of the bathroom myself where I laid out a total white knuckler. I swear it felt like a redwood was pushing out of my sphincter. Of course, I feel lucky to have made it to the bathroom in time. That behemoth was pushing fabric the whole way there.

      You might find this story to be interesting, Senor The Turd Report.

      --

      C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
    3. Re:When Is the Next Turd Report Coming? by The+Turd+Report · · Score: -1

      Your story is pretty funny.
      I was in the field for BIO-267 and had to take a dump. It was a good 2 miles back to the nearest bathroom. I had to walk over to where I thouhgt was a secluded area to take a dump. So, I am there squatting next to a tree when 4 people on horseback come down the trail. They could see right over the tops of the brush I was behind. They just stood there and gawked. I yelled at them to beat it, or I would have to charge admission. It was an awkward situation.

      --
      Michael Loves Me!
    4. Re:When Is the Next Turd Report Coming? by egg+troll · · Score: -1

      Did they stay or go? If they stayed I bet they were German, or possibly Japanese. Those cultures play with their shit like it was Play-Doh and their sphincters were a Fun Factory. I wish I was German so my fetish would be culturally accepted :(

      --

      C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
    5. Re:When Is the Next Turd Report Coming? by The+Turd+Report · · Score: -1

      They moved on. They were not Japs. They could have been cheap Germans, I guess.

      --
      Michael Loves Me!
  55. A forty for my... by kaimiike1970 · · Score: 2, Funny

    leetle tiny dead homiez.

    --


    Do a google search before posting.
  56. Hallo Sunken Kursk! by egg+troll · · Score: -1

    Glad to see you back. I was afraid you'd had another torpedo mishap. The fuckwads here seemed to have banned me for a few hours. I think you get a six hour ban if you're modded down as a troll. Any news on that?

    --

    C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
  57. Finally ... by benedict · · Score: 2

    ... An appropriate use for American beer.

    --
    Ben "You have your mind on computers, it seems."
  58. I knew it! by Chooker · · Score: 1

    So it seems that if you have been eating solid effluent (commonly known as "shit") all your life, then by drinking beer you can live longer... eeexcellent

    --
    "I feel so cold, on hookers and gin... this mess we're in"
  59. FYI!!!!1!!1!!!!1! by Brownie+the+AssClown · · Score: -1

    I just shit my pants. Now I feel all warm and squishy... mmmmm....

    --
    Who you callin' an ass clown, cuntface?
  60. I'm sceptical by Billy+the+Mountain · · Score: 1

    Any homebrewer worth his salt knows that this is bogus because beer, being made from the four and only four ingredients: Water, Malt, Hops and Yeast (no freakin rice or wheat, thank you), will NOT sustain a bacterial culture. Why? Because the hops, adding bitterness, also make the Ph inhospitable to pathogens.

    BTM

    --
    That was the turning point of my life--I went from negative zero to positive zero.
    1. Re:I'm sceptical by buckeyeguy · · Score: 1
      Yeah, I've also read that hops has bactericidal qualities... the problem is, at the levels of volatile hop components found in the more mass-produced commercial beers, only the alcohol would kill anything. So Natural Light, Coors Light, or Miller anything will get the job done, as would Corona, Amstel Light, Molson, etc... whatever comes in great volume. No homebrews here.

      There *are* additives in beer that are designed to prevent bacterial growth; sodium bisulfite is a common additive, but I'm not sure if it's for that purpose.

      I think Guinness would do the best job, but personally, I'm not about to spare a drop for some nasty ol' cleanup site ;)

      --
      I'd have a personalized plate on my car, but "toxic bachelor" won't fit into 7 letters.
    2. Re:I'm sceptical by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      Any homebrewer who has brewed many batches knows that bacteria CAN and WILL grow in beer. I have had a couple of batches infected by unwanted bacteria. While hops do help somewhat in keeping infections away, the main thing is to make sure the yeasties get a good head start on any bacteria. Besides, have you never had a Lambik? It gets its distinctive taste from lactic bacteria.

    3. Re:I'm sceptical by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

      I may be mistaken, but isn't sodium bisulfite mainly used in wines? I thought it needed to be in an acidic environment before it had any anti-bacterial properties. Beer wouldn't be acidic enough. Thats what I was told, anyways...

    4. Re:I'm sceptical by buckeyeguy · · Score: 1
      I guess it's used as a fixative or stabilizer... all I know is that when I took a tour of the Leinenkugel brewery in Wisconsin (not a major operation, but a good sized one), I saw a variety of things they used, including dextrose and sodium bisulfite which was stacked up in bags near the brewing area. Pretty sure the majors use similar stuff.

      Wineries, on the other hand, generally use sulfur dioxide, of which sulfites or bisulfites may be a by-product.

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      I'd have a personalized plate on my car, but "toxic bachelor" won't fit into 7 letters.
  61. Wow by Valiss · · Score: 1

    Beer: is there anything it can't do?

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    -Valiss
  62. Doesn't have to be beer by ross.w · · Score: 1

    In municipal wastewater treatment, methanol or ethanol is often used to provide food for the bacteria used to remove phosphates & nitrates. All you really need is a cheap source of carbon. (Of course, using beer gives brownie points for PR)

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    If my call is important, why am I talking to a recording?
  63. I can just see it... by John.Thompson · · Score: 1

    "Budweiser: it's not just for killing slugs anymore!"

  64. what's that noise? by CProgrammer98 · · Score: 1

    The sound of a billion bacteria shouting WAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAP!

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    And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
  65. Cleaning Contaminated Land with Potatoes by dunstan · · Score: 1

    I seem to remember years ago that one way used to collect heavy metals from contaminated land was to plant potatoes. These drew them out of the land, and then the spuds were harvested and disposed of. If anybody can corroborate that I'd be grateful.

    Dunstan

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    The last scintilla of doubt just rode out of town