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al Qaeda Hacks XP?

acaird writes "According to this article at Newbytes, members of al Qaeda may have worked for Microsoft and planted "trojans, trapdoors, and bugs in Windows XP"." This stuff screams of hoax to me, but it is showing up on the Washington Post.

59 of 736 comments (clear)

  1. Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? by Saint+Aardvark · · Score: 5, Funny
    Honestly, things are getting pretty bad for MS if this sort of thing can be published without even a public whipping. :-)

    If this goes on..."Next week on Jerry Springer: Bill Gates is sleeping with my sister!"

    1. Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? by LordKariya · · Score: 2, Funny

      Mohammad Afroze William Abdul Razzak Gates, Jr, arrested by Mumbai (Bombay) police Oct. 2, has admitted to helping plot gaping OS security holes in India, Britain and Australia, India's Hindustan Times newspaper reported Saturday.

      There you have it, indisputable proof that Gates and bin Laden are allies.

      --
      I alternate between posting +5 and -1 Comments. Karma: +53 -47 = 6
    2. Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? by Alien54 · · Score: 4, Funny
      Well the way I figure it, they are paranoid enough that someone at MS will try to find out if this is ture or not

      And they will find that there is no way to tell if there are Al-Qeada moles, trap doors, bugs, etc. - the difference between that and normal operation may be minimal at best.

      That may be the Al-qeada plan to destroy America. make sure all MS products stop working after a certain date

      ;-)

      --
      "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
    3. Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
      > That may be the Al-qeada plan to destroy America. make sure all MS products stop working after a certain date

      Huh? Last time I checked, Al Queda wanted to destroy the technological world, not save it!

    4. Re:Where the hell is Microsoft's PR agency? by Jason+Earl · · Score: 4, Funny

      Maybe Ballmer's dance is part of the process, that looked fairly rigorous. It also didn't look too terribly effective.

  2. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! by bonzoesc · · Score: 1, Funny

    In other news, the moon landings were faked, Linux is quickly taking over the desktop, and Nintendo's GameCube has surpassed the PS2 in sales.

  3. hah! by kevlar · · Score: 2, Funny


    I heard they also worked for Firestone and sabotaged their tires!!!

  4. Hmmmm by Your_Mom · · Score: 4, Funny
    Unfortunately, since there already so many holes and bugs in XP, we will never know if they really were successful.


    Unless they commented there code:

    security_hole(); &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp/*b1n l@d1n r00lz!*/


    --
    Objects in the blog are closer then they ap
    1. Re:Hmmmm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      Have you ever coded in C before? You know I ask because your code looks like you've never seen the language in use outside of a few bad posts on Slashdot.

      I'll be picky and anal:

      1. You do not give a return type for air_traffic()
      2. You do not give any arguments for air_traffic()
      3. What the fuck is $DATE? Some bash/Perl/C hybrid constant value?
      4. You cannot use == on an array. That is what strcmp() is for
      5. You do not define i within your function, unless it is a global variable, in which case, why are you using a global as a loop counter?
      6. Your for() is so wrong I can't even list it here
      7. You do not return from your air_traffic function (Although as you havn't given a return type for it, if you did return, that would be wrong too)

      But hey! Keep hanging out on those IRC channels and you might be able to code Hello World in C properly in three years or so!
    2. Re:Hmmmm by Cynikal · · Score: 2, Funny

      I dissagree, i found XP to be extreemly bug free and stable, which is why this sounds more plausible..

      imagine for a moment you are a terrorist.. you want control over the majority of the world's computers.. best way is to embed it into the most widely used OS.. but for your evil plan to be sucessful you have to find a way to make this OS stable enough to be online long enough to implement phaze 2 of the plan.. follow the bread crumbs, the truth will reveal itself.

      and what do we have.. XP is a complete turnaround from previous Windows OS's.. i smell a fish.. and whoever fixed all those bugs certainly wasnt your average M$ employee. this didnt "just happen" by itself, people... someone made this happen, and i for one am hella scared..

      Bill Gates, and Bin Laden, the two biggest forces of evil in the world working together.. shudder

  5. Those bastards hacked the linux kernel too! by zyqqh · · Score: 5, Funny

    And they even left OVER 700 SEKRET MESSAGES IN THE SOURCE CODE!

    Observe:

    % grep -ir 'a.*l.*q.*a.*e.*d.*a' /usr/src/linux | wc -l
    704

    Time to outlaw leenuks, I say.

    --
    // zyqqh
    1. Re:Those bastards hacked the linux kernel too! by limejuice · · Score: 2, Funny

      and 7 + 0 + 4 = 11 ! OMG! Run for the hills!

      --
      Daniel J. Kelly
  6. "rigorous processes" by Geeky · · Score: 3, Funny

    From the article:

    According to Desler, Microsoft has rigorous processes in place during the development of Windows to ensure the security and integrity of source code

    I can sleep easier now.

    --
    Sigs are so 1990s. No way would I be seen dead with one.
  7. don't worry by bnitsua · · Score: 3, Funny

    These backdoors, trojans, etc. are rendered useless by the backdoors, trojans, etc. the NSA placed in XP.

  8. to quote a classic.... by Gehenna_Gehenna · · Score: 1, Funny
    aHEM


    And monkeys might fly out of my butt.."


    Thank you.

    --

  9. Ah ha! by Ledge · · Score: 2, Funny

    So thats who coded Outlook! 10 bucks says they were in on the whole Passport thing too!

    --
    If it ain't a Model M, it's a piece of crap.
  10. score -1, redundant by Darth_brooks · · Score: 2, Funny

    "This stuff screams hoax to me, but it's showing up on the washington post"

    Can we mod down a statement in an article as being redundant? The washington post all but invented "ready-shoot-aim" journalism.

    --
    There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
  11. If you don't buy Windows XP... by pulazzo · · Score: 5, Funny

    then the terrorists have won.

  12. Well you know what's next... by ShieldWolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    This just found in winsock.dll in XP:

    seineewerastsisrorretadeuqla

    --
    just = (My)Opinion.toCents();
  13. say what? by cr@ckwhore · · Score: 5, Funny

    last time I checked, these afganhis were hacking and downloading movies with a commodore 64 (http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=01/11/17/20420 7&mode=thread)

    ...no other explanation needed.

    --
    Skiers and Riders -- http://www.snowjournal.com
  14. I feel a Monty Python Quote is in order by mr.buddylee · · Score: 1, Funny

    "I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away! "
    - Dennis the Filth Collector.

  15. A quick search through the XP dll's by The+Slashdolt · · Score: 2, Funny

    has found the following phrase:
    "!seineeW era tnemnrevoG SU"

    --
    mp3's are only for those with bad memories
  16. Oh ya? by Matt2000 · · Score: 2, Funny


    I heard that members of al Qaeda had infiltrated Slashdot and were sabotaging the quality of reporting.

    Oh wait, Taco has always posted retarded stuff.

    --

  17. Re:Spelling!!!!!!!!!! by ari_j · · Score: 1, Funny

    As bad as the spelling is here, do note that every spelling is just a transliteration from that gibberish that the terrorists are calling a language. It's not even written left-to-right, for crying out loud!

  18. Goodbye to the BSOD? by sid_vicious · · Score: 5, Funny

    So, does this mean goodbye to the "Bluescreen of Death" and hello to the "Bluescreen of Holy Vengeance?"

    --
    If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
  19. Re:not as easy as you might think by oddjob · · Score: 5, Funny

    So something like a flight simulator in a spreadsheet program would never make it into a released product...

    Back under your bridge, troll.

  20. So THEY've been putting all those bugs! by Unknown+Bovine+Group · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well now that they've routed the enemy, we can expect future versions of MS OSes to be bug and exploit-free.

    BWAHAHAHAHAA

    --
    m00.
  21. Recycle Bin Laden! by Stavr0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just put this in a .REG file and the evil will be revealed... REGEDIT4 [HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\CLSID\{645FF040-5081-101B-9F08- 00AA002F954E}] @="Recycle Bin Laden"

  22. How to tell by Syberghost · · Score: 5, Funny

    We'll know it terrorists slipped code into XP, because if they do, they'll make it support raw port access for non-priviledged users. Clearly only a terrorist would do that, so it'll be a dead giveaway.

  23. good lord by banky · · Score: 5, Funny

    (Outside of an Al Queda recruitment center)
    "OK, people. Line to the left is suicide bombers, center line is front line soldiers, right-hand, nefarious computer geeks."

    or
    (2 terrorists meet to discuss their accomplishments)
    "I have struck a great blow against Satan! I have planted bombs and anthrax!"
    "I, too, have stuck a great blow!"
    "What did you do?"
    "Improper bounds checking in msetl23.dll! I used my own hasty, roll-your-own strcpy()! And as a final coup de gras*, I stole 3 product activation keys and gave them to Best Buy employees"

    Please.

    * terrorists may not actually use phrases like this. Consult your manual.

    --
    ZOMG I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS ON MACINTOSH VERSUS WINDOWS, VI VERSUS EMACS, AND HOW YOU'RE NOT A DORK
    1. Re:good lord by VB · · Score: 2, Funny



      Pardoning me Shaek Mohammad Mohamed Banky, but did you not mean "Praise Allah?"

      --
      www.dedserius.com
      VB != VisualBasic
  24. Re:not as easy as you might think by ianezz · · Score: 4, Funny
    if( strcmp( username, "osama" ) ) { uid=0; }

    Poor ``osama'' user... every other user instantly becomes root, except for him (sorry, couldn't resist - but this is another reason why strcmp() is pure evil sometimes) ;-)

  25. How to get rid of It! by ASyndicate · · Score: 4, Funny

    # chflags noschg /bin/laden
    # rm -f /bin/laden

    Warning: Utitilty /bin/laden removed. Will replace with something even more evil.

    # ln /bin/microsoft /bin/laden
    # chflags schg /bin/laden
    # chflags schg /bin/microsoft

    Thank you for removing /bin/laden

    --
    This page left intentionally blank.
  26. In other news... by sheldon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Members of the militant group Hamas have claimed responsibility for file corruption issue found in the Linux 2.4.15 kernel.

    1. Re:In other news... by Rand+Race · · Score: 2, Funny
      I've had a sinking feeling for a while now that the Tamil Tigers are primarily responsible for Mac OS X's sluggish finder.

      --
      Insanity is the last line of defence for the master diplomat. But you have to lay the groundwork early.
  27. WTF! by bill0r · · Score: 2, Funny

    Microsoft has rigorous processes in place during the development of Windows to ensure the security and integrity of source code.

    muahahaha, now, *THAT* was funny.

  28. Re:As Microsoft would need terrorist help by Hydrogenoid · · Score: 2, Funny

    Stability...
    Two wrongs makes a right, doesn't it?

  29. It turns out... by Tony+Shepps · · Score: 4, Funny

    It turns out that al Qaeda is actually a bitter DR-DOS user group.

  30. XP embedded! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    With all the hype about XP embedded lately.
    I can see the following code hidden:

    if (hardware == plane)
    crash(); //as if this is a different code path

    Who needs to sacrifice pilots.

  31. Taking credit for other people's havok... by coupland · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sounds to me like al-Qaeda is just looking to take credit for the chaos caused by others.

    "You will feel our wrath in the endless bugs and security holes in Windows XP!"

    What's next? "We will cause random car accidents in busy intersections and will lace cigarettes with deadly carcinogens!" OOooo, their prophecies are coming true, everybody! Head for the hills!

  32. Yes. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Microsoft is just trying to compete with open source. It claims that open source is full of religious fanatics, so it's going all out and hiring even more extreme religious fanatics.

  33. Al Qaeda's Elite Supercomputing Matrix by lwagner · · Score: 5, Funny
    9:05a. Breaking News... the alleged five teraflop Al Qaeda computer hax0ring complex has been penetrated by US Special Forces...

    7:30p. This just in - We have learned that the alleged Al Qaeda computing complex was destroyed. US Marines were seen removing five hourglasses, an abacus, and a piece of aluminum foil that were allegedly behind a massive recent distributed denial of service.

  34. holy cow, I found it! by The+Pim · · Score: 4, Funny
    On a hunch, I started grep'ing through XP, and stumbled across the backdoor password:

    !seineew era snaitsirhC dna sweJ
    --

    The evaluation of an action as 'practical' . . . depends on what it is that one wishes to practice.
  35. yes, worry. by Erris · · Score: 3, Funny
    Don't forget the ones there by design. You know, like the remote kill switch for too many hardware modifications, and others to make sure you don't rip M$ off. Ha ha ha. If M$ can do it, you can be sure others will figure it out and be doing it.

    Also, don't forget the ones that are there by poor implimentation. You know, like sound files in email that get executed without warning.

    Also, don't forget the ones that are there due to poor design. You know, like an email client that runs as root because there are no real user accounts and the underlying file system will not support that and ....

    Don't forget to combine all of the above with poor judgement. Well, running M$ with anything but in single user non networked air gap protected mode is poor judgement. Worse judgement is attatching a camera and an always on high speed internet connection in your freaking bedroom, ha-ha(banned in Saudi Arabia).

    Alah-Akbar. It's true you know.

    --
    DMCA, Hollings, Palladium. What might have sounded like paranoia is now common sense.
  36. Bill Gates holds press release on Al Qaeda hacks by hoggoth · · Score: 5, Funny
    This just in:

    "Bill Gates holds press release on Al Qaeda hacks in Windows XP."
    Redmond- Bill Gates today held a press release to confirm the presence of "hacked" code in the Windows XP product, and admitted for the first time that all previous versions of Windows also had "hacked" code inserted maliciously by covert Al Qaeda operatives within the Microsoft Corporation. "We have confirmed the presence of this code in all versions of Microsoft Windows from 3.0 to XP. The code we have found was planted by covert Al Qaeda operatives who were employed by Microsoft for years. This was a long-term terrorist operation planned years in advance and executed with frightening efficiency. We have investigated the code and found it to be the cause of instability in Windows products. As a matter of fact, the infamous "Blue Screen of Death" was in fact an Al Qaeda trojan. We will be release a full list in the coming week of all the Windows problems that the Al Qaeda terrorists are responsible for after a full investigation of all the things that make Windows suck."

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  37. Ah... by ZoneGray · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ahhh, it all makes sense now. No matter how hard I tried, I could never land properly in MS Flight Simulator.

  38. This Can't Be True by istartedi · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sitting here on a Windows box right now, and the very idea that Al Qaeda could get jobs at MS, hack the s@$%%$#%#%Die American Scum@$#@$@#$ is just ludicrous. I mean, learning how to fly a plane is one thing but !Q%#@$^%@#$^#$$The blood of the infidels will run red in the streets!%@#$%%#$%$%getting a CS degree, getting hired by MS, and then slipping all those hacks through the system? That strains my credulity.

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  39. Breaking up Microsoft! by Proud+Geek · · Score: 5, Funny

    At only $27,000 each, a Daisy Cutter would be both faster and cheaper than waiting for the courts to break up Microsoft.

    --

    Even Slashdot wants to hide some things

  40. lets get it straight by abes · · Score: 4, Funny

    They were planting features, not trojans or trapdoors.

  41. Re:not as easy as you might think by jayhawk88 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, I'm sure Bill was real pissed when the lid was blown off that little hack.

    Get a clue. If your a PHB code reviewer at MS, there's a big difference between finding out your programmers have actually been having a little fun on the job with a hidden easter egg, and trying to figure out the functionality of backdoorforallah.dll.

  42. obviously by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Obviously this is a hoax, any terrorist worth two cents would know already that Microsoft doesn't NEED any sabotage to mess up their OS.

    Of course, MS will probably stop calling every bug a 'feature' and claim its a terrorist attack - I'm surprised that, what with all the tack-ons to the antiterrorism bills being passed, MS hasn't tried to get Linux, BSD, Mac, or any other OS labelled as terrorist software.

  43. Re:Spelling!!!!!!!!!! by Cheetahfeathers · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, english is enough of a gibberish tongue on it's own without terrorists. :)

  44. THis explains the whole thing!!! by Unknown+Poltroon · · Score: 2, Funny

    THey obviously used the excel easter egg flight simulator to train the hijakers!!!

    --
    All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
  45. Not only Al Qeada by Microbrain · · Score: 1, Funny

    From my experiences with XP, it seems like Al Qeada haven't been the only ones putting bugs in XP.
    Approximately 5835 winboxes crashed while you were reading this post. Thank you.

  46. Re:not as easy as you might think - VERY EASY by mobiGeek · · Score: 3, Funny
    My standard practice is to never install a Microsoft OS until it has been "in the field" for -at least- a year

    My policy is half of that: the first half!

    --

    ...Beware the IDEs of Microsoft...

  47. And this just in from Boeing security.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have been operating at the Boeing Renton site. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained.
    Boeing security stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the plant.

  48. Remember how to spot terrorist coders by WillSeattle · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ask them questions they won't know the answers to.

    Like talk about the Grey Screen of Death and see if they notice. Or see if they can tell you what TCP/IP stands for - hint - it's not Taliban Control Program/Intifada Protocol like they think.

    And if they don't get all hot and bothered by the BSD booth babes, you know they must be terrorists.

    -

    --
    --- Will in Seattle - What are you doing to fight the War?
  49. What? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't know about you guys, but how the hell to you "pose" as a programmer? Either you are, or your not!

    lol

    I think next week maybe I'll pose as a surgeon or a lawyer and get a raise!

  50. Chant heard at Al Qaeda training camp.... by reynolds_john · · Score: 2, Funny

    Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!