Posted by
timothy
on from the nope-just-happiness dept.
szcx writes: "Two days after the code release, Dan East has ported Quake II to the Pocket PC. With NeoMagic's 3D chipset for handhelds and XScale on the horizon, how long is it going to be until we're playing Quake III: Arena on the train into work?"
I gave up penis-sucking when I realized that it made me a "fag." Could you believe all these years I'd been making fun of all these fags around me while merrily sucking away on penis each night, completely unaware that dickslurping was what made one a "fag"?
Yeah, me neither.
--
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
Unfortunately that troll is not mine. I'm not sure who wrote that one. But I, also, promise never to suck dick again! I don't want to be a "fag." Well, tomorrow. Maybe. New Years Resolution, yes, that's it. Now, back to dicksucking. Excuse me!
*slurp slurp . ..*
--
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
Would you consider exchanging your pacifier for my ponderously large penis? It is a very large member and you shan't be disappointed if you suck long enough! Sweet, sticky candy awaits you within!
--
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
Re:Why no
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Sounds yummy. I would most certainly accept your proposition. By any chance, do you have ramen noodles?
Re:Merry Christmas Eve!
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
I try telling my friends that are going to college to become schoolteachers that. I try to explain that calculus is mind expanding and that no college education is complete without taking calculus. But do they listen? No.
And these are the people who are going to teach our children. Listen up future schoolteachers! Suck it up and take a calculus class. Its for the good of our children!
Smell it baby!
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Well.. The actual problem with this thing is that the PocketPC (those that I have seen) only have four buttons + directional pad. It would probably be fairly cumbersome. Now, I am not doubting the fact that the PocketPC has enough power, just the controls. Maybe a control-augumentation module is in order for the PocketPC? Becuase as far as I can tell, playing Quake requires about the whole keyboard (how does one talk?).
You're right. It's (well, Quake 1) bad, especially on older model iPaq's. You have to balance the stylus to look with one hand, and the other hand needs to push forward, sidestep, and fire.
I could just be an un-coordinated git, but I couldn't get the hang of it.
Being able to run Quake on your PDA is one thing, being able to play it is another.
Could there be joystick add-ons? I think I could see an array of new add-on products for pocketPCs targeted for gaming, and this could be a real threat to handheld game consoles like GameBoy Advance.
Now, we don't have to bring a GameBoy, hoping other people will think it is a PDA, in a long boring meetings. We can bring our pocketPCs and play games legitimatly. Another great way to pretend to work, but a lot safer!
Re:Logistics?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
can you use a twiddler?
Re:Logistics?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
I read somewhere that it was only able to
run it at 3 fps.. fast enough?
From the looks of that screenshot, there is alot of extra space under the main rendering area. Since many of the controls in Quake 2 are things that dont have to be done very frequently or very fast, couldent they be implemented as stylus input buttons?
Also a few games i have seen have an interesting form of input where the stylus is moved around in a definded box for joystick like control. This may be an option as well. I personally dont think a 'mouselook' type option would work well on a pocket device, and that youd be better off playing it like a fancy Doom.
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
It's not only a problem of not having enough inputs. I don't see how anyone can play Quake without a mouse to look around. Anything else is just goofy "keyboard" control... ugh... Like Quake3 on a PlayStation controller, hahahaha, man that must suck.
And if you think you're "all that" with keyboard only/playstation controls, I'll play you any day you want and we'll see which is the best control method.
i been thinking would it be possible to put a pair of sony tv/glass don't remeber what they were called but you can watch a big screen tv on a pair of glass. that would be your monitor. the controls are easy. you get that touch sensor keyboard for wasd movement and eye motion sensors on the glasses to contorl aiming and there you have a porttable FPS machine. but you will look wired if you do this on the subway, just more competetion with the college geeks.
-- Me and lunchbox here are going to kick your ass.
Yeah indeed - I mean It's cool that someone ported my all time favourite game to the pocket PC - but if you think you have are playing Quake II and you are not using a mouse and a keyboard then you're 'avin a *LARF* mate.
I saw Pocket GLQuake on an iPaq and it was amusing to see (but not as amusing as TTYquake:0 )but really - it wasn't playable by any serious definition.
Of much more interest and amusement this week was the Generations mod. for QIII - lets you play with the weapons and physics of Doom, Q1,2,3 and some other thing whih I suspect they made up:-/
The display would be another matter, but for direction control using a gyroscope would seem to make sense.. you'd move the PocketPC/whatever itself to move up&down, left&right.
Re:Logistics?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
Is it just me or does/. suck. Is this news for nerds? or just pointless filler crap?
I remember back in the Quake1 days you could bind to "error" and the game would instantly perform an illegal operation and shut down. I haven't tested in the more recent Quakes, someone want to give it a try?
quit isn't (or wasn't, I don't know if it is now) instant, it has some drive access. A boss walking in the door requires a split second death of the app.
now can anyone tell me where to find the linux version? casue eery time i think i've finaly found it, the link is dead. Also, the quake3demo:). Im stuck wiht unreal, which is great, but SI need some diversity in my killing people.
-- In Soviet Russia you dant have to put up with these crappy jokes
WIPO Boy's all Liquored up!!
by
The+WIPO+Troll
·
· Score: -1
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest pædophile ring, the infamous Slashdot crew.
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants your cum) to evade the watchful but relatively stupid eye of Slashdots parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTacos own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Taco-snotting is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.
A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Taco-snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. Theres no escaping a geek in heat, so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Taco-snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his monolithic kernel, and Anal Cox used his network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. Im just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new
goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a
homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called Katz juicy-douching with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boys chained-up and naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will usually for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds.
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
Linking to a forummessage
by
Otis_INF
·
· Score: 3, Insightful
It's perhaps not that wise to link directly to a forum, since most of these systems are not optimized to handle a lot of/. visitors:). You could have copy/pasted the whole message.
--
Never underestimate the relief of true separation of Religion and State.
Re:Linking to a forummessage
by
Sk3lt
·
· Score: 1
Umm dude.. alot of sites arn't optimized to handle a lot of/. visitors:P Thus enters (dum dum dummm) the Slashdot Effect:)
Re:Linking to a forummessage
by
Tha_Zanthrax
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· Score: 1
I don't think it's wise to link anything on/.
Every story posted should have the page(s) cached by/. in that why those poor little server won't burst into flames. Not to mension people paying for accessive use of bandwidth.
Some people pay a couple of bucks to get their page hosted. The hosting is OK for the 0.4 vistors a day. But when hundreds of vistors visit in a couple of hours they go WAY over their datatraffic limit. And have to pay up to $0.25 per Mb. Link to Google's cache is the least/. can do.
Bad idea: Dood, w3/.-ed that L4M3 p4g3 in s3conds !!
Good idea: That guy must be glad, his/. mirror is pretty busy. It's a good thing/. can take the hit. His own page would have died after 15 minutes.
Well, how long ago was quake 2 released? Four years ago(ish)?
Well, I would say that the Q3 code will be released four years from its release date, and so will then be ported onto whatever oddly-named PDA-type malarkey machine is available at the time...
-- I put my books on Amazon, Smashwords, Demonoid, ISOHunt and Pirate Bay.
Search for 'Michael Cargill'
Re:Four Years Perhaps?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
That is not necessarily true. Many games are older than 4 years and are still being sold. The code is only released when the companies decide that they arent making money off of selling it anymore.
To save the forum from death by /.
by
pajor
·
· Score: 1, Troll
From the page:
Dan East (Pocketquake developer):
I've got Quake II ported to the Pocket PC platform. It will be a couple days before release, because there are details yet to clean up (GAPI drawing and input controls). I've only tried it in the emulator, so I can't give you an indication of the speed. It runs 100% on my 300 mhz laptop in emulator, but that of course is no indication of what I'll see on the StrongARM. The main problem at this time is the shareware pak file is 48 MB. I don't know if I'll have gZip compression ready for the initial release or not. The way I implemented compression for Quake I is so freaking slow that at this point I'm considering something more advanced so the loading won't be so compromised. I only have 16 MB CF Cards, so I'm going to have to strip everything out of the pak I can to get it to install on my hardware.
Here's a screen shot. This is in the Pocket PC emulator, using a non-standard resolution of 240x180 (same as Pocket Quake I in portrait).
Dan East
Date posted: 12/23/01 at 03:30:12
I've got Quake II ported to the Pocket PC platform. It will be a couple days before release, because there are details yet to clean up (GAPI drawing and input controls). I've only tried it in the emulator, so I can't give you an indication of the speed. It runs 100% on my 300 mhz laptop in emulator, but that of course is no indication of what I'll see on the StrongARM. The main problem at this time is the shareware pak file is 48 MB. I don't know if I'll have gZip compression ready for the initial release or not. The way I implemented compression for Quake I is so freaking slow that at this point I'm considering something more advanced so the loading won't be so compromised. I only have 16 MB CF Cards, so I'm going to have to strip everything out of the pak I can to get it to install on my hardware.
Here's a screen shot. This is in the Pocket PC emulator, using a non-standard resolution of 240x180 (same as Pocket Quake I in portrait).
Dan East
Last modification: Dan East - 12/23/01 at 03:30:12
----
note: i am not dan east... another unrelated dan.
Re:Forum Posting
by
cetan
·
· Score: 2, Informative
Not that there's much to it, but here's a mirror of the image mentioned in the post:
ha! ain't that the truth. yeah, my little rant was and is off-topic but still...the parent of my original response was also marked troll for a while. I really wish more legit people would meta-moderate to help get this crap under control. Though, I have the sinking feeling that someone's found another way to exploit the system with bot and it won't do a lot of good...
-- In Soviet Russia...michael would be rotting in Siberia!
Not Useable (yet)
by
rikkards
·
· Score: 4, Informative
I noticed down in the comments after reading the link that he was saying that it was only running at around 3 FPS and that was on an emulator. He presently can't run it on the Pocket PC as the shareware file is about 48M
Re:Not Useable (yet)
by
RussGarrett
·
· Score: 4, Interesting
No, he said it was running well in an emulator, but only at about 3FPS at full quality on his iPaq, which he'd subsequently managed to get it running on.
I'd like to see how it goes on my 206Mhz StrongARM HP Jornada...
PDA's are becoming faster and faster. I wonder when they'll catch up with game consoles in terms of power. As for having joysticks, it would be ideal to use bluetooth. Bluetooth doesn't need to compete with WiFi, they complement each other.
The Jornada is almost identical to the iPaq hardware-wise.
The main problem is that the StrongARM is awful at math. Integer addition, subtraction, and multiplication are fine, but there is no integer division instruction, and there is no floating point support at all (software only). The StrongARM is a nice, fast CPU for everything but math. (Some versions of the ARM line have math coprocessors, but they generally aren't used in handhelds.)
Unfortunately, Quake uses floating point math, and lots of it. So it's going to be slow, and until handhelds have hardware math coprocessors, there's not a lot that can be done about it.
Note that Doom (a port of the PrBoom project, specifically) runs just fine on the iPaq. As far as I know (could be wrong), Doom uses almost no floating point math.
BTW, various people have successfully compiled SDL on the iPaq (running Linux of course; not sure about WinCE). I didn't do the Doom port, but reportedly it was a very simple port.
could you rip the StrongARM - Maths Co p., and solder in one with?
-- Wow, I should not post when knackered.
Re:Not Useable (yet)
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
He should have ported it one of those hitachiSH3 or 4 handhelds.
Quake 2 over GPRS/CDMA
by
Hellcheese
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· Score: 2, Funny
It'll be interesting playing this with the GPRS/GSM attachment you can get for the iPaq. You'd be sitting in the train waiting for the next stop fragging someone on an instagib server over the other side of the world.
Only in emulation
by
metlin
·
· Score: 4, Insightful
I've only tried it in the emulator, so I can't give you an indication of the speed. It runs 100% on my 300 mhz laptop in emulator, but that of course is no indication of what I'll see on the StrongARM. The main problem at this time is the shareware pak file is 48 MB.
Like he says, I'm not sure if an emulator would give you a true indication of how it may actually work. Although the screenshot looks impressive, it may not work or look the same once the PAK files are stripped.
Also, he may need to make some compromise for a sufficiently faster gameplay. In my experience so far, emulators always perform a lot more faster than the real things.
"Also, he may need to make some compromise for a sufficiently faster gameplay. In my experience so far, emulators always perform a lot more faster than the real things."
First off, great grammar. Now.. Emulators only work based on what you're emulating and what the emulator is running on.. Sure, PCs emulating Atari2600s and arcade machines from 10 years ago work great.. But try running those on a P90 and see how slow an emulator can be. Plus, emulator design has come a LONG way.. remember the early days of MAME, when galaga would chug.
I think the emulator is actually an api emulator. Ie you compile to x86 code - it riuns directly. Not an arm enulator. Quake generally uses a lot of floating point - no FPU on the ipaq, so it will be deadly slow without changing everything to fixed point.
Re:Only in emulation
by
PepsiProgrammer
·
· Score: 2, Interesting
The good thing is, there is alot of detail that can be reduced without noticing.....
Since the game is going to be running at a pretty low resolution anyway since the screen is so small. I think you could probably get away with decreasing the texture size some without even noticing a significant difference in graphic quality.
And if someone is willing to spend the time, converting all the floating point to fixed would speed it up immensely as well.
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
Merry Christmas!
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Troll
But I do wish someone would port Wolfenstein 3d to PalmOS.
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
Re:This is all well and good
by
mselmeci
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· Score: 1
They already have (sorta). Try DREADling, do a search for it anywhere. Sure, it's not exact, but still pretty kewl.
Re:This is all well and good
by
PepsiProgrammer
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· Score: 1
Nah dreadling sucks, i want color and dreadling is just kinda stupid. So far serious sam for PalmOS is the best 1ps for palm.
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
Why no
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Troll
Why no, it's just my diaper. I wear diapers. I dont care what you say, 13 year olds can wear diapers and suck on pacifiers and drink out of baby bottles
2nd Diaper Post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Troll
Well, my original post was modded troll. I'm sorry if you don't like talking about diapers, but there are some of us here who do enjoy diapers, baby bottles, and pacifiers. Why do you have to place your belief system on us? It should of been +1, Funny if anything.
Disguised goatse.cx link above.
by
fmaxwell
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Dickboy just created a link through go.com to hide the fact that he linked to goatse.cx. I can only assume that the inflamed, stretched a$$hole shown at goatse.cx is his own.
Re:Disguised goatse.cx link above.
by
The+WIPO+Troll
·
· Score: -1
Dickslurp. Slurp a dick. This is an old trick. Once again, the trolls trouce the Slashdot lameness filter [this-stupid-one.com].
Oh, and: slurp onto a dick, dickslurp.
--
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
3rd diaper post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Troll
I love diapers. I don't know why my last two posts were modded troll. I just like mentioning how much I enjoy wearing diapers. Oh yes, and I have a pacifier I like to suck on.
Re:3rd diaper post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
dear sir, i wish you have a merry diaper christmas and a happy diaper new year
Re:Not necessarily
by
PepsiProgrammer
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· Score: 3, Informative
If he is only emulating on a 300Mhz PC their may not be all that much difference in speed from it to a pocketPC, if anything i would expect it to be slower emulating on a 300Mhz PC than on a higher end PocketPC.
As a side note, in a later post he replies:
John Carmack released the source 2 days ago. I started porting it last night. It runs around 3 FPS on my iPaq (at full quality rendering, 240x180).
Dan East
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
4th diaper post
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Troll
For some reason, everytime I talk about diapers, I get modded down as troll. I love diapers.
Santa Claus and Kermit the Frog are on Live with Regis and Kelly. . Please watch. Thanks. Diapers forever! Pacifiers forever. Baby bottles rock!
Re:4th diaper post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Wow man - you are so cool! I too am a big fan of diapers. Well, not diapers as such; in merry old England, we call them nappies.
Nappies are just such fun, but not many folks think as such. Sadly, this leaves me feeling lowly and sad. I like eating a spicy curry, and getting drunk. Just before I go to bed, I put on a nappy, so that when I go poopies during the night, it is all squelchy in my nappy.
Then, in the morning, I play 'Nappy Shit-splat'; I get into the bath, and just keep sitting down heavily, until the nappy burts all over the walls.
Ah, bliss...
Re:4th diaper post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
For those of us stuck at work on this fine Christmas Eve, your disgusting humor is much appreciated, even if modded as "-1 Troll".
Re:4th diaper post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
LOL!
I too am at work this Xmas Eve. Bored to buggery I am, and being an immature person who thought that the first four diaper posts were hilarious, I thought I would join in!
I too am a fan of little babies in diapers. I like to put my penis in them and wiggle it around!! Anyone who wants to get poked, email me! jwipotroll@hotmail.com
--
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
Re:Diapers?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Shocking! How dare you!
Fancy using the word 'penis', instead of 'big fat cock-shaped member of my anatomy'.
Shall we meet up, and have a jiggery-pokery party with babies in nappies? It would be fun!
I would very much enjoy having a jiggery-pokery (and faggotry!) party with you and some baby-like childish humans wearing those diapery, nappy-like things! I will be sure to bring that large, phallussy rod-shaped jizz-squirty thing that I keep in my pants!
--
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
You use the pen for mouse look
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0, Offtopic
It's better than I imagined. However the RAM/Storage is very high.
How about a Gameface?
by
Myriad
·
· Score: 3, Informative
Maybe a control-augumentation module is in order for the PocketPC? Becuase as far as I can tell, playing Quake requires about the whole keyboard (how does one talk?).
Such moduals exist in a limited sense, at least for the Handspring Visor. Check out the Gameface for the Visor.
For the URL impaired, it is basically a joystick & button pad that clips over the Visor for gaming.
Anyone know if they have a similar version for the PocketPC?
-- "They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
True, but something like the gameface wouldent help very much as it only provides an alternate method of pressing the buttons.
What you really need is something that adds more imputs maybe an add on that connects through the synching connection and adds controls in the same way as PDA keyboards do.
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
Yes I know, i have one for my Prism, but if your gonna do that you might as well bring a laptop
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
a novel novelty, but a novelty just the same...
by
MessiahXI
·
· Score: 4, Insightful
wow, now that it runs on PocketPC, all that remains is to find some shred of a reason to play it on PocketPC. I'm not trying to knock your work here, Dan. As a programming exercise, this is an amazing milestone. But seriously, I don't have to elaborate on why a 4 inch screen and wonky pda controls suck the life out of 3d action games. Besides, as many hours as I've tossed away playing games like Q2 online, the last thing I need to be doing is pretending it's fun to "play" it on a train on an iPaq. Harldy a real "Palm-killer", since the mainstream pda market will largely ignore this admirable science project.
Re:a novel novelty, but a novelty just the same...
by
PepsiProgrammer
·
· Score: 2, Interesting
No, it certainly wont be as fun in a handheld version as on the pc, But you cant very well bring your PC to long meetings or boring classes either.
If your gonna say that you might as well say PDA's themselves are useless because the programs on them arent as usefull as their PC counterparts.
-- "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
Re:a novel novelty, but a novelty just the same...
by
MessiahXI
·
· Score: 1
If your gonna say that you might as well say PDA's themselves are useless because the programs on them arent as usefull as their PC counterparts.
that's not true at all. PDA's have many useful functions. 3D gaming just doesn't happen to be one of them. its a cool novelty. very neat. but not fun. One could proly port PalmOS graffiti to Windows, but it wouldn't be useful now would it? Does that make PC's worthless? no. Does that make graffiti worthless? no. Does that make graffiti on a pc a waste of time? no. Will anyone use it? no.
really, I understand. it's a cool thing. but not that cool. not worth more than 5~10 min of "gameplay".
Aaah, but I'm sure you're aware that the link you've provided is just to the source for the game logic code. The difference here is that the complete code for the rendering engine has been released for the first two Quakes.
-- "I Know You Are But What Am I?"
Better than diapers... PAEDOPHILIA!!
by
The+WIPO+Troll
·
· Score: -1
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!"
"Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead."
The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fuck a table.
Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pædophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"
J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Crapflooder Associates Slashdot.org
Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Sweaty man sex! And snot!
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
With or without penis, sir?
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Penis is good. But I prefer testicles, myself.
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Then u can SUCK ON my BIG BALLZ
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
I would very much enjoy that, sir. Would you enjoy 69ing me? I'll lick under your scrotum, you suck onto my penis! Please?
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
My balls hurt. Badly. Suck on them?
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Troll
balls are tasty!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... sure, why not?
i like balls! a lot!!
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Troll
So do I!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..!!
Let's make the page... WIDE!!!
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Troll
Penis?
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Here, I have for you a very long penis:
8=================D
Enjoy it. Many more for you if you suck onto it.
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
It doesn't seem to be working, sir.
Perhaps you should try harder.
Re:Snot
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Troll
Perhaps I should take these penises out of my mouth. Then maybe I could post faster, or at least better. Would you mind holding the penises while I post?
in a word....
by
MessiahXI
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
no....
in 8 words:
yes, because no one will play it anyway
Off-topic but still on-topic...
by
Pig+Hogger
·
· Score: 0, Offtopic
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low
stress, non-addictive, gender neutral,celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all; and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of
choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color,
age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or
sexual preference of the wishees.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement
of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wisher.
Re:Off-topic but still on-topic...
by
limejuice
·
· Score: 1, Funny
[snip] or sexual preference of the wishees.
ACTUALLY, the politically correct phrase would be 'sexual orientation'. 'Sexual preference' is politically incorrect because it implies that a person makes a conscious decision to be heterosexual/homosexual/transsexual/etc. and, well, THAT'S JUST DOWNRIGHT OPPRESSIVE!
Actually it is running on my iPaq now, in addition to the emulator. As stated I'm achieving an estimated 3 fps @ 206mhz , which will increase with strategic fixed-point conversions, and reduction in rendering quality (such as reducing the number of particles that can be used in effects).
The control scheme will of course be the same as what I used for Pocket Quake and Pocket Wolf3D. The stylus is used onscreen for mlook and weapon selection. The directional pad of the device controls movement and strafe. This is the typical configuration used by FPS players with their mouse / keyboard. Devices that use the D-Pad as the fire button (iPaq, many Pocket PC 2002 devices) give their owners an extra advantage, because they can fire without taking their hands off of the critical controls.
Admittedly, Quake 2 is a bit much for the hardware of the current generation of Pocket PCs . However, devices better suited for this type of software are just around the corner. Perhaps the availability of classic, mainstream, groundbreaking games such as Quake and Quake II for the Pocket PC platform will encourage OEMs to produce more capable hardware. All I ask is for a math coprocessor!:)
The timing of the source release just prior to Christmas is preventing me from working on this as much as I normally would, so keep on eye on the Pocket Matrix site for notification of the release, which should be before the end of the year.
Gameboy Advance
by
Master+Of+Ninja
·
· Score: 4, Interesting
Ok, someone got Quake 2 to run on a pocket pc... But is it really worthwhile to do such a thing? I mean it might be a good programming challenge, but playing the game might not be so much fun. It would have been better to program a dedicated engine that would be optimised for PocketPC. YOu could make the engine so that it could use the four(?) buttons on a PPC unit, as well as having small runtimes and maps or whatever.
If you really wanted gaming on the move why not try the Gameboy Advance. It might not run quake (and it might cost a bit), but the games are tailored to the Gameboy, and the system is built just for games. I've heard that the game Ecks vs Sever is good, while there is still Doom for the GBA.
Re:Gameboy Advance
by
nerpdawg
·
· Score: 2, Informative
My guess is that the reason he did it was that he thought it would be fun. And it's done. You complain about something that's been done, is available, and you can use if you want? If he had fun, it was worthwhile. If you want a gaming engine, or gba games, make em, post em, and say "eat that. you *should* have done it like *i* just did."
Re:Gameboy Advance
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
He did it cause it's fun you schmuck!
Stop sucking the life out of everything you don't understand!
Re:Gameboy Advance
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I guess some people prefer the game "quality" of console type games like GBA and full blown consoles.. But as always they lack expandability and options. Quake one in its final release for the PPC is pretty playable with the custom maps people have built for them.. Not to mention built in TCP/IP support something that GBA will never have. I mean in less then six months it will be possible to play quake1/quake2 on ur existing ipaq wirelessly on GPRS with a video out ( uhmm for TV screen or one of' them heads up Sony displays hmmm.. ) and use a joystick for control ( which is already out works with the serial connector )... and I picked up my ipaq over a year ago.. I don't think normal hand held game devices like GBA can really compare... once the GBA emulator is released for the StrongARM I guess it'll put an end to that debate.. heh..
Re:Gameboy Advance
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
"I don't think normal hand held game devices like GBA can really compare... "
You are right. Gameboy advance-$80 PocketPC-$500
There is no comparison. The PocketPCs are way too expensive. If you want a cheap, portable game machine get a Gameboy. If you want an expensive PDA that is medicore for games, get a PocketPC.
Re:Gameboy Advance
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
I know, some people whine too fucking much.
Damn ungratefuls!
Re:Gameboy Advance
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
ROFL... exactly... there are plently of inexpensive portable entertainment units. I hear etch-a-sketch has a color version now. The reason I got a PPC is that it's a complete portable computer.. you get what u pay 4 =)
Why did they remove the floating point unit portion of most Handheld processors? I have a E115, without FP it's pretty useless for games like quake... I ran quake 1 on it, 0.5FPS max, while it know a 3d chipset would have done the job, I still don't get it... you're trying to cut everything down for the least power usage, okay, fine with me, how about switching off the portions of the chip that is not used and turn it on when called? it's already done with other functions in other microprocessors and it would keep the lifespan of the PDA more than 1 year. Especially at the price they cost, it's not much asking.
This is frustrating.
At least Compaq understood this.
-- ---
Metamoderating abusive downgraders since my 300th post.
It's not just a cost savings but a space and (like you mentioned) power savings. It can significantly reduce complexity in the processor, and most embedded applications for PDAs. They don't need hard float for performance, action/FPS games are not a selling point for these products. Most PocketPC PDAs being made today are ARM based(some are MIPS)
I'm an embedded developer, I don't believe I've ever developed for an ARM device WITH an FPU, in fact.
Floating point alone won't necessarily expand the life of a PDA. For most people it's actually the physical construction of the PDA that determines it's life (if they actually intend to use it for it's scheduling/notetaking etc. purposes). PDAs are never designed around real gaming after all.
If you want portable gaming try Gameboy Advance. It happens to be based on an ARM processor, coincidentally, but I don't know if it has an FPU.
Yeah it's got some special chips in it to handle 3d. It'll do your typical 2d Z scaling and whatnot for fake 3d as well as a chip that'll handle polygons and rendering. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 uses actual polygon characters, for example.
No. The polygons in THPS2 are coming straight out of the ARM processor. Take note that there are only 30 polygons or so in each character. The special chip you are talking about was meant to handle kick ass 2D only. However, since it supports 2d scaling, rotation, skewing, alpha, etc. many clever programmers have taken advantage of that and used those abilities to create 3D engines, but the chip was meant for 2D only.
My point was about added value for a device that cost almost the price of a decent used laptop.
At the price it cost to produce a chip that is ALREADY being produced, cutting down part of it and making a new waffer costs a lot too I guess, so even if the chip costs 25 cents more to produce per unit, how % is that on a 500$ device? I'd pay 501$ for that extra value.
While YOU might not use floating point, while YOU may not see the use of it, ask yourself why are 3d embedded chipsets being manufactured right now? if there would be 0 need for that, people wouldn't put up R&D efforts on them.
Gameboy advance? hey, why paying 250$ for a device plus some games if for the double of that price I can get the same plus UTILITIES and mp3 player and video playback and sync with my devices and surf on the net?
There's a lot of places to cut to save money, processor features is not one of them. Go ask intel with their celeron 300.
Besides, who has a full color PDA and never tried any games on it? okay... and who wouldn't like 3d games or similar on it?... thought so:)
-- ---
Metamoderating abusive downgraders since my 300th post.
The GBA runs at about 16MHz and has no FPU or 3D acceleration. That's still fast enough to get Doom going on that little screen, but at a third of the price of an ipaq and Hanaho gamepad extension I'd want more than 1/13 of the oomph.
Of course if you prefer other kinds of games rather than first person shooters, as I do, the GBA is a better choice just by virtue of having a few thousand Gameboy and Gameboy Color games out there for it. Not to mention a perfect port of Chu Chu Rocket. And the homebrew community rocks.
On the other hand the ipaq can run MAME;)
Okay, I normally don't do this...
by
Doktor+Memory
·
· Score: 2, Informative
...and I apologize in advance for being a humorless pedant, but it's in your sig, so I see it every time you post, and it's driving me nuts.
It's "you're ugly," not "your ugly." "Your" is possessive, "you're" is the contraction of "you are."
Examples:
Shake your groove thang.
You're so fly.
You're risking your karma by engaging in spelling/grammar flames.
Re:Okay, I normally don't do this...
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 1, Informative
Since you brought up the topic of grammatical errors, I am free to list my grammatical error pet peeves without somebody flaming me for being overly sensitive or some such.
Here is a list of grammatical errors that constantly appear in message boards and newsgroups. I am only listing those that bug me, in order of decreasing "bugs me" factor.
1. misuse of "your" and "you're"
2. incorrectly using "then" rather than "than"
3. incorrectly using "could of", "should of", and "would of" rather than "could've", "should've", and "would've".
4. misuse of "there", "their", and "they're"
Thank you for allowing me to get this off of my chest.
Re:Okay, I normally don't do this...
by
scheming+daemons
·
· Score: 1
Don't forget "loose/looser" for "lose/loser".
Just got to wonder about the intelligence of someone who says, "You are such a looser!"
-- "I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it" - George Carlin
Nice to see a new "Pocket PC" will cost me as much as a desktop PC...I would like to see a good Pocket PC with USB get to the sweet spot under $200...Must be a popular price range because all of the stores were sold out of that serial HP 52? or whatever with 16 megs ram and a CF slot. I guess I will stick with my Palm for now. (Maybe my grandkids will live to see a linux based PDA on the store shelf someday hu?)
I just hope someone will port ttyquake to windows:)
-- If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
Here's a couple ideas on the FPU problem
by
gatesh8r
·
· Score: 0
StrongARMs usually don't include FPU co-processors because of the heat that FPUs generally make, not to mention power consumption. Now, about the FPU calculations, we can do the following:
1) We can handle FPU calculations in software. Quickest way to get Quake II in one of these things, but slow due to the calculations required. This may or may not hamper performace due to the graphical subsystem that is in Quake II, and this option may not be so ideal.
2) Handle all floating-pt. math as integer math, and "just move the decimal point around". This of course could be done by my first point, but doing in the code itself helps optimize the binary so that no FPU emmulation is required. Inputs can be taken in as strings then converted into a struct where, say, the value only held 4 bytes, a 16-bit signed int for the whole number and a 16-bit number for the fraction (and the IEEE 32-bit float is 4 bytes). This obviously requires more work and digging through the source, but it will make the code more efficent, and most likely be able to keep the execution speed up so that there is no noticable lag for gameplay.
-- Karma whorin' since 1999
Re:Here's a couple ideas on the FPU problem
by
listen
·
· Score: 2, Funny
My god, you must be really clever.
You said absolutely nothing I didn't say. Dumb ass.
Re:Here's a couple ideas on the FPU problem
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
How long is it going to be until we're playing Quake III: Arena on the train into work?
I can just see it now... the next big thing is gonna be... subway massacres. lord save us.
You being the Satanist...
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
Christian Holidays are not being celebrated in the original christian-like manner they used to 30+ years ago. I, personally, go to my local Christian bookstore and lookup the latest and most interesting reading material like the Stigmatta Paul Pio or buy a video that talks about Satanism's spread throughout the world and how to prevent its spread. I've noticed my local christian bookstore is selling other material that is not of true Christian content. A couple Disney and Dreamworks movies, here and there, is enough to fry my pancake.
Aside from the above rant, these other people that go on shopping sprees just for the month of December will generate the government quite a bit more of tax dollars which inturn is pissed out to to Government's shitty workers. It only happens durring December, and maybe a little on the week of Easter, but I always advocate the destruction, expulsion, and killing of the IRS and its workers because then people can spend all their extra money throughout the entire year and not just December! IRS is organized theft. IRS is still around because liberals, communists, and socialists need funding for their schaudy and unproductive work. The IRS' ethics is enough for me to out-right blow them up into the sky and I hope the Taliban embraces this idea before thinking they can expell any form of Jew.
I want to wish Rob especially, and Hemos, Timothy, Neal, chris, and Mr. Katz a good day with their families (no pun intended).
Re:You being the Satanist...
by
Scooter
·
· Score: 0, Offtopic
You need to re-evaluate your life.
3 FPS
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Well, at least it's faster than their webserver right now.
And while you'RE at it....
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
It's Doctor not Doktor.
Have a nice day.
Re:And while you'RE at it....
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
It's Doctor not Doktor.
Unless one is from Germany, you provincial fool.
Drive bys...
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
Add a wireless card to your PDA for Drive by Fragging...
Not to make little of what the guy has done, but between the controls, resolution, and frame rate (3FPS), I'm not so sure it would be much fun at all.
When will it be good enough?
by
Jonny+290
·
· Score: 1
With NeoMagic's 3D chipset for handhelds and XScale on the horizon, how long is it going to be until we're playing Quake III: Arena on the train into work?"
Is this not fucking good enough? I'm tired of people saying, This is cool, but it'd be *REALLY* cool if a:we made a fucking cluster of them, b:you could store mp3's on it, or b: we could get an even more impressive program to run on it.
Goddammit. When you've played THIS game enough to wear out any possible replay value, spend that hour on the train to and fro (which i assume is the time that you're wasting with this) porting it yourself. You probably shouldn't be running bullshit like this on the handheld that your company possibly gave you so graciously.
-- Hey Taco! Looks like you're using the "infinite monkeys and typewriters" scheme to generate Ask Slashdots again...
I think they would run fine on a p90
by
Breakfast+Pants
·
· Score: 1
Slashdot Mirror
Why no it isn't. That's my fucking gigantic penis. Would you like to suck onto it?
Let's hear it for calculus!
Yes, my feet, that is.
Well.. The actual problem with this thing is that the PocketPC (those that I have seen) only have four buttons + directional pad. It would probably be fairly cumbersome. Now, I am not doubting the fact that the PocketPC has enough power, just the controls. Maybe a control-augumentation module is in order for the PocketPC? Becuase as far as I can tell, playing Quake requires about the whole keyboard (how does one talk?).
Everything is mainstream now.
fp....johnstons!!
Sweet. Now if it has a hotkey to instantly switch to my calendar so I don't get busted at work.... :-)
Have a Happy.
merry christmas to yo all! :)
In Soviet Russia you dant have to put up with these crappy jokes
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself CmdrTaco?
Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is Taco-snotting?
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Are you getting hard writing this?
No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.
________________________________________J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
It's perhaps not that wise to link directly to a forum, since most of these systems are not optimized to handle a lot of /. visitors :). You could have copy/pasted the whole message.
Never underestimate the relief of true separation of Religion and State.
Well, how long ago was quake 2 released? Four years ago(ish)?
Well, I would say that the Q3 code will be released four years from its release date, and so will then be ported onto whatever oddly-named PDA-type malarkey machine is available at the time...
I put my books on Amazon, Smashwords, Demonoid, ISOHunt and Pirate Bay. Search for 'Michael Cargill'
From the page: Dan East (Pocketquake developer): I've got Quake II ported to the Pocket PC platform. It will be a couple days before release, because there are details yet to clean up (GAPI drawing and input controls). I've only tried it in the emulator, so I can't give you an indication of the speed. It runs 100% on my 300 mhz laptop in emulator, but that of course is no indication of what I'll see on the StrongARM. The main problem at this time is the shareware pak file is 48 MB. I don't know if I'll have gZip compression ready for the initial release or not. The way I implemented compression for Quake I is so freaking slow that at this point I'm considering something more advanced so the loading won't be so compromised. I only have 16 MB CF Cards, so I'm going to have to strip everything out of the pak I can to get it to install on my hardware. Here's a screen shot. This is in the Pocket PC emulator, using a non-standard resolution of 240x180 (same as Pocket Quake I in portrait). Dan East
Gnuyen
Dan East
PocketQuake Developer
Posts: 1742
Date posted: 12/23/01 at 03:30:12
I've got Quake II ported to the Pocket PC platform. It will be a couple days before release, because there are details yet to clean up (GAPI drawing and input controls). I've only tried it in the emulator, so I can't give you an indication of the speed. It runs 100% on my 300 mhz laptop in emulator, but that of course is no indication of what I'll see on the StrongARM. The main problem at this time is the shareware pak file is 48 MB. I don't know if I'll have gZip compression ready for the initial release or not. The way I implemented compression for Quake I is so freaking slow that at this point I'm considering something more advanced so the loading won't be so compromised. I only have 16 MB CF Cards, so I'm going to have to strip everything out of the pak I can to get it to install on my hardware.
Here's a screen shot. This is in the Pocket PC emulator, using a non-standard resolution of 240x180 (same as Pocket Quake I in portrait).
Dan East
Last modification: Dan East - 12/23/01 at 03:30:12
----
note: i am not dan east... another unrelated dan.
I noticed down in the comments after reading the link that he was saying that it was only running at around 3 FPS and that was on an emulator. He presently can't run it on the Pocket PC as the shareware file is about 48M
It'll be interesting playing this with the GPRS/GSM attachment you can get for the iPaq. You'd be sitting in the train waiting for the next stop fragging someone on an instagib server over the other side of the world.
I've only tried it in the emulator, so I can't give you an indication of the speed. It runs 100% on my 300 mhz laptop in emulator, but that of course is no indication of what I'll see on the StrongARM. The main problem at this time is the shareware pak file is 48 MB.
Like he says, I'm not sure if an emulator would give you a true indication of how it may actually work. Although the screenshot looks impressive, it may not work or look the same once the PAK files are stripped.
Also, he may need to make some compromise for a sufficiently faster gameplay. In my experience so far, emulators always perform a lot more faster than the real things.
Still, a great start. Way to go...
Visit
Santa for your present!
But I do wish someone would port Wolfenstein 3d to PalmOS.
"The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
Why no, it's just my diaper. I wear diapers. I dont care what you say, 13 year olds can wear diapers and suck on pacifiers and drink out of baby bottles
Well, my original post was modded troll. I'm sorry if you don't like talking about diapers, but there are some of us here who do enjoy diapers, baby bottles, and pacifiers. Why do you have to place your belief system on us? It should of been +1, Funny if anything.
Dickboy just created a link through go.com to hide the fact that he linked to goatse.cx. I can only assume that the inflamed, stretched a$$hole shown at goatse.cx is his own.
p :/ /www.goatse.cx/
By the way, here's what he embedded in the link:
http://transfer.go.com/cgi/transfer.pl?goto=htt
I love diapers. I don't know why my last two posts were modded troll. I just like mentioning how much I enjoy wearing diapers. Oh yes, and I have a pacifier I like to suck on.
If he is only emulating on a 300Mhz PC their may not be all that much difference in speed from it to a pocketPC, if anything i would expect it to be slower emulating on a 300Mhz PC than on a higher end PocketPC. As a side note, in a later post he replies: John Carmack released the source 2 days ago. I started porting it last night. It runs around 3 FPS on my iPaq (at full quality rendering, 240x180). Dan East
"The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
For some reason, everytime I talk about diapers, I get modded down as troll. I love diapers.
Santa Claus and Kermit the Frog are on Live with Regis and Kelly. . Please watch. Thanks. Diapers forever! Pacifiers forever. Baby bottles rock!
I too am a fan of little babies in diapers. I like to put my penis in them and wiggle it around!! Anyone who wants to get poked, email me! jwipotroll@hotmail.com
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
It's better than I imagined. However the RAM/Storage is very high.
Such moduals exist in a limited sense, at least for the Handspring Visor. Check out the Gameface for the Visor.
For the URL impaired, it is basically a joystick & button pad that clips over the Visor for gaming.
Anyone know if they have a similar version for the PocketPC?
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
wow, now that it runs on PocketPC, all that remains is to find some shred of a reason to play it on PocketPC. I'm not trying to knock your work here, Dan. As a programming exercise, this is an amazing milestone. But seriously, I don't have to elaborate on why a 4 inch screen and wonky pda controls suck the life out of 3d action games. Besides, as many hours as I've tossed away playing games like Q2 online, the last thing I need to be doing is pretending it's fun to "play" it on a train on an iPaq. Harldy a real "Palm-killer", since the mainstream pda market will largely ignore this admirable science project.
The Q3 code was posted on 7 May, 2000. Here is the link: http://www.idsoftware.com/archives/quake3arc.html You may start your port right away.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!" "Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead." The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fuck a table. Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pædophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass. Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"
________________________________________J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
Sweaty man sex! And snot!
no....
in 8 words:
yes, because no one will play it anyway
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Actually it is running on my iPaq now, in addition to the emulator. As stated I'm achieving an estimated 3 fps @ 206mhz , which will increase with strategic fixed-point conversions, and reduction in rendering quality (such as reducing the number of particles that can be used in effects).
:)
The control scheme will of course be the same as what I used for Pocket Quake and Pocket Wolf3D. The stylus is used onscreen for mlook and weapon selection. The directional pad of the device controls movement and strafe. This is the typical configuration used by FPS players with their mouse / keyboard. Devices that use the D-Pad as the fire button (iPaq, many Pocket PC 2002 devices) give their owners an extra advantage, because they can fire without taking their hands off of the critical controls.
Admittedly, Quake 2 is a bit much for the hardware of the current generation of Pocket PCs . However, devices better suited for this type of software are just around the corner. Perhaps the availability of classic, mainstream, groundbreaking games such as Quake and Quake II for the Pocket PC platform will encourage OEMs to produce more capable hardware. All I ask is for a math coprocessor!
The timing of the source release just prior to Christmas is preventing me from working on this as much as I normally would, so keep on eye on the Pocket Matrix site for notification of the release, which should be before the end of the year.
Dan East
dex-plor.com
Better known as 318230.
Ok, someone got Quake 2 to run on a pocket pc... But is it really worthwhile to do such a thing? I mean it might be a good programming challenge, but playing the game might not be so much fun. It would have been better to program a dedicated engine that would be optimised for PocketPC. YOu could make the engine so that it could use the four(?) buttons on a PPC unit, as well as having small runtimes and maps or whatever.
If you really wanted gaming on the move why not try the Gameboy Advance. It might not run quake (and it might cost a bit), but the games are tailored to the Gameboy, and the system is built just for games. I've heard that the game Ecks vs Sever is good, while there is still Doom for the GBA.
Why did they remove the floating point unit portion of most Handheld processors? I have a E115, without FP it's pretty useless for games like quake... I ran quake 1 on it, 0.5FPS max, while it know a 3d chipset would have done the job, I still don't get it... you're trying to cut everything down for the least power usage, okay, fine with me, how about switching off the portions of the chip that is not used and turn it on when called? it's already done with other functions in other microprocessors and it would keep the lifespan of the PDA more than 1 year. Especially at the price they cost, it's not much asking.
This is frustrating.
At least Compaq understood this.
--- Metamoderating abusive downgraders since my 300th post.
It's "you're ugly," not "your ugly." "Your" is possessive, "you're" is the contraction of "you are."
Examples:
Thank you, and have a happy holiday.
News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters? Like hell.
Nice to see a new "Pocket PC" will cost me as much as a desktop PC...I would like to see a good Pocket PC with USB get to the sweet spot under $200...Must be a popular price range because all of the stores were sold out of that serial HP 52? or whatever with 16 megs ram and a CF slot. I guess I will stick with my Palm for now. (Maybe my grandkids will live to see a linux based PDA on the store shelf someday hu?)
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.
So we can expect a sequel to ttyquake?
StrongARMs usually don't include FPU co-processors because of the heat that FPUs generally make, not to mention power consumption. Now, about the FPU calculations, we can do the following:
1) We can handle FPU calculations in software. Quickest way to get Quake II in one of these things, but slow due to the calculations required. This may or may not hamper performace due to the graphical subsystem that is in Quake II, and this option may not be so ideal.
2) Handle all floating-pt. math as integer math, and "just move the decimal point around". This of course could be done by my first point, but doing in the code itself helps optimize the binary so that no FPU emmulation is required. Inputs can be taken in as strings then converted into a struct where, say, the value only held 4 bytes, a 16-bit signed int for the whole number and a 16-bit number for the fraction (and the IEEE 32-bit float is 4 bytes). This obviously requires more work and digging through the source, but it will make the code more efficent, and most likely be able to keep the execution speed up so that there is no noticable lag for gameplay.
Karma whorin' since 1999
-1: 83 comments
0: 47 comments
1: 38 comments
2: 22 comments
3: 11 comments
4: 3 comments
5: 1 comments
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
Crapflooder Associates
Slashdot.org
I can just see it now
Aside from the above rant, these other people that go on shopping sprees just for the month of December will generate the government quite a bit more of tax dollars which inturn is pissed out to to Government's shitty workers. It only happens durring December, and maybe a little on the week of Easter, but I always advocate the destruction, expulsion, and killing of the IRS and its workers because then people can spend all their extra money throughout the entire year and not just December! IRS is organized theft. IRS is still around because liberals, communists, and socialists need funding for their schaudy and unproductive work. The IRS' ethics is enough for me to out-right blow them up into the sky and I hope the Taliban embraces this idea before thinking they can expell any form of Jew.
I want to wish Rob especially, and Hemos, Timothy, Neal, chris, and Mr. Katz a good day with their families (no pun intended).
Well, at least it's faster than their webserver right now.
It's Doctor not Doktor.
Have a nice day.
Add a wireless card to your PDA for Drive by Fragging...
Not to make little of what the guy has done, but between the controls, resolution, and frame rate (3FPS), I'm not so sure it would be much fun at all.
With NeoMagic's 3D chipset for handhelds and XScale on the horizon, how long is it going to be until we're playing Quake III: Arena on the train into work?"
Is this not fucking good enough? I'm tired of people saying, This is cool, but it'd be *REALLY* cool if a:we made a fucking cluster of them, b:you could store mp3's on it, or b: we could get an even more impressive program to run on it.
Goddammit. When you've played THIS game enough to wear out any possible replay value, spend that hour on the train to and fro (which i assume is the time that you're wasting with this) porting it yourself. You probably shouldn't be running bullshit like this on the handheld that your company possibly gave you so graciously.
Hey Taco! Looks like you're using the "infinite monkeys and typewriters" scheme to generate Ask Slashdots again...
as I emulate nes on a 486 all the fucking time.
--
WHO ATE MY BREAKFAST PANTS?
Is That A Railgun In Your Pocket PC
Or are you just happy to see me!
r00tdenied
Platinum Networks Hosting www.platinum-networks.com
When I saw the headline I thought this was a hardware add-on article.
And next time we'll have an interview with someone who got his PPC to talk to a Geforce 3 :o)
Does anyone know any websites that talk about creating Quake 2 skins, and mods for the quake 2 engine?
Thanks in advance.
A twiddler is a single-hand chordal keyboard, folks. He's not necessarily trolling.
They use serial ports - There's a driver for the Palm Pilot - Don't know about the PocketPC, though.