Slashdot Mirror
Wil Wheaton to get new role on 'Enterprise'
hisholiness writes "It seems that a major underground letter writing campaign has secured Wil Wheaton (ST:TNG's Wesley Crusher) a recurring role the current 'Enterprise' series. According to his website, he states, "The details are still being worked out, but basically what they plan to do is have Wesley use his Time Traveler abilities to move through space and time to the NX-01. He'll be written more like the dark, troubled Wesley of 'The First Duty' and 'Final Mission', and less like the gee-whiz Wesley of days gone by." He continues that he will be in 8 of 22 new episodes over the next two seasons."
April Fools jokes for nerds.
Stuff that will never happen.
-------------------------------------------------
C'mon Wil, we know you're out there... We know you're reading. Come on, say something funny. Come on... Please?
"Goodness, how did you people live long enough to invent tools?" -Hobbes (the tiger, not the philosopher)
And there was much trolling, and it was lame.
And the moderators did moderate, and they did moderate well.
And the peasants rejoiced.
Huzzah!
using namespace slashdot;
troll::post();
Agreed.
I think one good post would have been much appreciated. A full day of bullsh|t is just pushing it.
See y'all tomorrow.
"You worthless post!"
-Shakespeare, 2 Gentlemen of Verona, 1. 1. 147
It seems that a major underground letter writing campaign has secured Wil Wheaton (ST:TNG's Wesley Crusher) a recurring role the current 'Enterprise' series.
Now we know what he does with all his free time.
"And like that
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. - Cmdr. Susan Ivanova
What will you do when you come back tomorrow and it's all still crap...
I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you
From his site:
/.'ed. You wish that you never even registered that domain...
:-)
here's the bad news: the entire site has crashed, and we can't figure out why.I don't know when the crash happened, or why, because I was offline all weekend, but I'm working on it. I suppose that if you can read this, it means things are working again
Just wait till it get's done getting
I'm not a prophet or a stone-age man,
I'm just a mortal with potential of a super man.
Hey, let's post some sites that actually have funny jokes this year. :)
I liked the one on www.gamespot.com about the Duke Nukem developers trying to fit the game in the box
oh nonsense...
we know Wil still harbors Wesley Crusher fantasies involving everything from being given the vulcan neck pinch to having a gaggle of tribbles on the bed.
aw man, that got WAY too graphic.
but I'm certain that Wil probably came up with this idea ALL on his own. He's a craft guy. Not that the SLASHDORK editors don't have mad pull in the internet world...some would consider them minor deities!
Ahhhh yes. April Fools.
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
You know, you're not obligated to report on every single April Fools' link on the web. Give it up.
I've got an idea. Lets BLAME TACO for all these dumb jokes. Ok, so even if it isn't all taco's fault we all blame him. Then taco gets mad at the rest of the nerds and tries to beat them up. But then Cowboy Neal just ends up sitting on taco, crushing his rib cage and killing him. The rest of the nerds are so upset that they decide they can't go on, so they throw themselves off the top of the exodus building. This causes a massive earth quake that shakes the exodus building so badly it completely destroys all of the slashdot servers, causing the end of all these stupid april fools day jokes!
Enjoy it while you can, buddy. The AC's will be back tomorrow in full force.
"Ask not what your country can do for you." --John F. Kennedy
Yeah, it's what they're doing today. Except for the paid story post, they're just posting everyone else's april fool jokes up. Kinda lame, if you ask me. But whatever, it's not my site.
funny munging
For one you could have buried a false story in the midst of real ones and have a contest to have readers decide which one is the joke...
You could give away someone's favorite Linux distro on CD or something... ANYTHING BUT THIS!
OMFG, yet another unbelievable joke headline. I mean, this is about as likely to happen as, say, ummm... telling us Captain Kirk is going to host a Japanese cooking show. Sheesh.
I hope he has supernatural powers. In his last episode, didn't he turn into supernatural god type thing that not only mastered Linux, but could navigate through the stars with his mind.
If there are two things you can always count on in Star Trek, they would have to be guest appearances by characters from previous Star Trek shows and time travel. At this point I wouldn't be surprised to see an episode of Enterprise where we learn that Wesley picked up Kes from Voyager and settled down on a remote planet in the Enterprise timeline, only to be called back into action when Khan wakes up sooner than he was supposed to and starts wreaking havoc with the space-time continuum, or some such nonsense.
Wil Wheaton hangs out around here. Search for comments by CleverNickName.
Best Slashdot Co
All stories will be read by the editor before adding any comments such as "this has serious ramifications for quantum computing"
Editoral budget expanded to allow for the additional 3.2 seconds required to click the spell check button
When people e-mail CmdrTaco with a concern, complaint, or question, autorespond that says, "Fuck off. I run this site, you're just a loser." will be changed to, "Thank you for your feedback. We'll take your input into consideration of this important issue and let you know of any decisions."
Editors now only have infinity minus one moderation points
April Fools jokes permanently stopped
Robotiq.com is heavily tested on animals
In other news:
/.ters have become angry and are angry and have expressed that they are not going to take it anymore. They have refused to post and when posting have made sure the site operators are aware that enuff is enuff.
In a dramatic twist, Slashdot a "geek" news site, turned the tables on would-be Anonymous Cowards and Trolls, posting inflamatory "news" articles and other mischeivous April 1st pranks - in the very spirit that they have encouraged moderators to trounce in times past.
Many
I am sure when this is all over, "News for Nerds" will be back and ACs will be posting flamebait and trolls with a vengence.....
If that doesn't whet your appetite, I have a great idea for next year: Research your stories and post them correctly, properly spelled. Hey, it's only once a year!
Stop going to Wil's site!! My site's parked on the same server...
A bit weird, this... experiencing the Slashdot effect vicariously through Wil Wheaton.
What about Q? Where does Q fit in with all of this? And, for that matter, what is Guynan doing right now, besides wearing Hobbit feet at the Oscars?
dinner: it's what's for beer
If I remember him correctly from the countless interviews, that'd be the Vulcan detox gel rub.
In a related story, the IRS has recently ruled that the cost of Windows upgrades can NOT be deducted as a gambling loss.
And this is different from other days how?
sulli
RTFJ.
PLEASE GOD NO!!!
Maybe they can have Wesley's girlfriend be Britney Spears, but she can have red hair, and she can be a mind-reading prostitude who has some sort of special psychic bond with large rodants. She could go around the ship "silently" singing via esp in people's head to lure them into sex ("I'ma Sllllllllave for u, if you pay me 3500 credits"), yet the audience would get the privlage of hearing it.
Wait, that would be silly... Britney can't have red hair! What was I thinking...
Look at the episode guide. After the Temporal Cold War, Silik will bring the war to the Enterprise in S1E26. Its clearly the perfect setup for Wil to come back, as a time travler. Next season hasnt been filmed yet, Wil was just offered the role.
S1E11, Cold Front
gs: John Fleck (Silik) Matt Winston (Daniels) Michael O'Hagan (Captian Fraddock) Joseph Hindy (Prah Mantoos) Leonard Kelly-Young (Sonsorra) James Horan (Humanoid Figure ("Future Guy"))
rc: Silik
When the Enterprise comes in contact with an alien vessel transporting stargazers to observe a spectacular stellar event, Archer invites them aboard the ship not realizing that Silik, a Suliban enemy, is among them. Archer quickly realizes that Silik is engaged in a nefarious time-travelling mission and must stop him before he can tamper with the course of history.
b: 28-Nov-01 pc: ENT 111 w: Steve Beck & Tim Finch d: Robert Duncan McNeill
NOTE: The Suliban and the "Temporal Cold War" return in this episode.
S1E26 : Shockwave
gs: John Fleck (Silik)
Synopsis Unknown.
b: 22-May-02 d: Allan Kroeker
NOTE: Season Finale.
Anyway, Bush announced the feds were giving Governors Island back to NYC. I was sitting there waiting for him to say APRIL FOOLS SUCKERS.....
...Bill Gates open sources Windows, RMS says it was all "just a fraternity prank. We at Skull and Bones never thought we could convince so many people to give away their work. I'm going to clean my self up and take that job with Texaco that W promised me."
On the international front, Arafat converted to the obscure "snake handling" sect of fundamentalist Christianity. Preachers from eastern Kentucky are en route to the West Bank.
Blah, blah, blah, April 1, Yada, yada, yada... I've pretty much written off /. for the rest of the day. Hey /. editors, it's called finesse. Look into it.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
Considering /. is read throughout the world how are they supposed to decide which 12 noon is the April's fool cutoff ?
Thats the problem 12 noon in the US, could be 9am for some viewers of even 5 or 6pm for others!
Well, other days, Slashdot slowly becomes a waste of your time...
"If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he's sorely mistaken." Bush on bin Laden
Having so many April Fool's Day joke references on Slashdot, even if some of them would be good on their own, totaly cancels out the effectiveness of ALL OF THEM, making them just seem completely STUPID. The true joy of a good April's Fool Day joke isn't the perceived 'chortle-cleverness' of an obvious joke, but the reaction of those fooled into believing it. The Slashdot editors have robbed us of seeing any of this type of reaction post by stupidly linking to every semi-geek April Fool's Day joke on the web.
Next year how about one good April Fool's Day joke that is Slashdot specific and that might be somewhat ridiculous but also is somewhat in the realm of possibility, followed by a 'Quickie' post containing the good geeky April Fool's Day jokes from around the web on April 2nd?
Argh.
Hence the "Enterprise" bit. Yes folks, it's Wil Wheaton Enterprise Edition (for the multi-tiered enterprise)!
These just aren't funny. Next thing you know someone will be posting that George Bush Jr. was elected president, trashed the economy and started WWIII. Sheesh.
=brian
Wil Wheaton is going to be 8 of 22! That's awesome! Man, I just can't get enough of that wacky borg.
microsoftword.mp3 - it doesn't care that they're not words...
Seriously, though, I imagine /. would care, seeing as how ST is part of the geek canon, and how Wesley is a highly controversial and historically despised character.
Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.
So it's more efficient than ever today!
sulli
RTFJ.
IIRC, the before-noon thing is a British spin on April 1. In the US it's usually an all-day affair.
Basically, don't trust postings with an April 1 date.
"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times." Bill Hicks
I think what it really comes down to is eventually we'll be seeing options for him in polls aswell. Or perhaps they'll be some epic battle between the two of them for the generic slashdot icon position.
"Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality." -Jules de Gautier
What happened to "Rick Berman is Satan"!
Take some time (15-20 min) and read it. It's NOT sameless self promotion and buy all my crap. I laughed really hard about his experience with Hooter's waitress & "Yeah, funny like when you watch another guy get kicked in the nuts."
Wil Wheaton dot net
Archer: What is this boy doing on my bridge?
Wesley: But, sir, I've..
Archer: Shut up Wesley!
Wesley: Awww...somethings never change... *stomp*stomp*stomp*
Well Wil Wheaton's website also carries the news - so either /. and he are in collusion or it's true - the plot thickens.
Video Game cheats, hints a
The Palestinians are not in Israel, nor are they citizens.
Why not?
C//
I was a Wesley-basher from day one, and never felt a single pang of guilt. I wanted Wesley to die, die, die and die again, painfully. And when he did die by being transfixed with a spear in one episode, I was ecstatic until he was resurrected at the end. That character was a symbol of all that was wrong with TNG (and all subsequent spinoffs), and I naively hoped that his death would signify a shift in thinking in the Star Trek camp towards pablum-removal. That was not to be.
/. interview, I felt for him. He's a genuinely nice guy, very intelligent, and perhaps even a good actor. It's not his fault that all Star Treks after the original series suck the big one. It's the fault of the show's producers. And I'll never forgive them for it.
.38 out of the dresser drawer and have a lead sandwich.
After reading Wil's comments in his recent
Don't take this wrong, Wil, but although you seem to be a standup guy, I don't want to see you on Enterprise. The show sucks, just being more of the same. They had an opportunity to make a great show, an original show, one with grit and suspense and all the stuff that makes great sci-fi. For some reason, I felt there was actually a chance that they might pull it off. I should have known better. After three seemingly endless, monotonous, rehashed spinoff series, you'd think they would have figured out what they did wrong. Silly me.
As soon as I see Wesley Crusher's face on the screen, I'll know it's truly all over. If they have to resort to bringing back our "favorite" characters to keep the series afloat, then that's the signal that things never will actually change, and that we'll be in for another seven or so years of the same old Love Boat, non-action, non-suspense, non-story, non-plot, formulaic faux sci-fi that we've become well-acquainted with.
And if we see Q on the series, it'll be time to get daddy's
Then you have my pity, having to live with April Fool's Day for an extra 12 hours.
Good luck.
A dark and confused Wesley, undoing all of the good happy-go-lucky touchy-feely history of the Federation and replacing it with something akin to the world inhabited by Spock-With-A-Beard! Yes, I know that is not what is described, but I kinda like the idea. :-)
Seriously, as much as I disliked Wesley the character (until near the end, when he started getting into trouble), I really like Wil Wheaton the actor. Anyone who has a good enough sense of humor to take the piss out of themselves in that manner is OK in my book...
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
Major Underground Letter Campaign == Astro-Turf Fertilizer.
M@
Krispy Cream is people
I am farking cursed
This proves "Wesley" is not a real geek. Everybody knows it's 'fscking'.
Well, a huge thanks to /. for going along with this. I was able to get FARK on board, as well, and we all had a really good time with this.
I hope everyone takes this in good humor.
Lots of people sent really kind and sweet congratulatory messages, and I actually feel pretty badly for fooling such nice people. All the idiots who thought it was a really good idea to fill my inbox with "Wesley is gonna ruin Enterprise" crap should get a life, and direct any further comments to the nearest brick wall.
I think the greatest highlight of the day came when my mom called Anne, while I was at work.
The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Do you have something to tell me?
Anne: Uh, no.
Mom: Do you have some big news about Wil?
Anne: Oh, that. Uh, what day is today?
Mom: It's Monday!
Anne: Right. And the date is...?
Mom: It's April Fir-- OH! Damn you!
Heh. I guess my dad was all pissed off, stomping around my parent's house because I didn't tell them myself, and he "had to read it on Wil's $%@#!ing website!"
Yep, you're a weenie.
Well, Wesley is a weenie, but thanks to Wil, at least he's a cute weenie.
Now that he's what - thirty? - hopefully he will have weathered those raster-burns and keyboarding callouses well. Too bad he's straight. [sigh]
All the best, Wil. Now got get yourself an Emmy.
Fire and Meat. Yummy.
Why aren't they full fledged voting citizens?
Weren't there originally large numbers of Palestinians on the land?
Why aren't they citizens?
Honestly, I don't get it.
C//
I really hope this isn't April Fool's stuff. I love a well crafted time-travel yarn, and I've never understood the "I hate Wesley" sentiment. It was cool to see Wil redeam himself with his own internet presence in the face of the overwhelmingly stupid & cruel American public, and it would be REALLY cool to see this grow into an interesting new character on Enterprise.
Kid Crusher is a character with legacy and legend behind him. That sort of thing can carry a wonderful sort of weight. They say the best friends are those you went to school with. --This is because you saw old friends grow up; you know their history first hand. You shared it. Knowing that Wesley started out as most of us did, (as an uncool but earnest kid), and has grown through hard knocks and good teachers into a Jedi-equivalent is very, very cool.
I hope, if it happens, that they play it right. Could be very good!
-Fantastic Lad --The Deserving Underdog Always gets my Vote. Crass popularity is for Sheep and Cowards.
The only ones who can vote in Israel are the Jews...
Is this really true? I tried to search through their Constitution to see who could vote, but couldn't figure it out. Are you saying there are no voting Arabs in Israel?
Why doesn't the U.S. and other first world countries look at this situation skeptically? If what you are saying is true, do you realize that the average U.S. citizen is simply not aware of that?
The U.S. is a nation of many minority interests. We have asians, hispanics, africans and men of african ancestry, and a vast spectrum of expatriates from all over the world. If the truth is as you say, the belly of America would quiver if it understood. Franchise, the simple concept of having a voice in your government, is the foundation of America.
C//
Even if you tell most people what I just told you, they would not believe me after...
Don't take this wrong, but I'm not sure I believe you. How can I verify through independent and objective sources that only Jews can be citizens/vote in Israel? How can I verify through independent and objective sources what I suspect is true: that Palestinians have been nothing other than systematically interned?
In the _Wall Street Journal_ some pro-Israel group occasionally runs these full page pro-Israel ads, loudly espousing the status of Israel as the sole democracy in the Middle East. Well and good, I say. I'm all for democracy and economic success.
But why is it that Israel's opposition isn't doing more in the American media to discuss the 20:1 rule? The internments? The lack of ability to vote? The general pattern of disenfranchisment? These are not things that would sit well with the American people if the American people regarded them as true.
I'm genuinely confused and don't know what to believe. The Arab press itself waxes towards the blatantly delusional some of the time. I can't read that; who could? Allegations that the WTC was blown up by Israel itself? Come now. That's hysteria, not objectivity.
Will the _WSJ_ simply not sell ad space to a well-reasoned counterpoint to the current Israeli ads that it runs? Is there no way that the opposing interest groups can reasonably expect to deliver their message?
C//