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Windows 'Longhorn' Kicks Off (On Paper)

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the feature-envy-can-be-healthy dept.

gdeciantis writes: "NeoWin.net posted an article which outlines some of the new features that are currently planned for the the next version of Windows (codenamed Longhorn). With new features like seamless content transfer across devices, it looks like Longhorn will not just be Windows XP SE."

14 of 432 comments (clear)

  1. Oh joy. by Kenja · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess this means we get to see another video clip of the Microsoft CEO stamping around on stage screaming. This time in a cowboy hat and boots of course. I wonder if they'll hand out temp tattoos that look like cow brands with the MS logo?

    --

    "Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
  2. Note the softened code name... by GeneralEmergency · · Score: 4, Funny


    ..No more code names like HailStorm for these guys. Expect names like PuppyTail, SnuggleBear and ComfyHat from now on.

    --
    "A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
    GeneralEmergency
    1. Re:Note the softened code name... by GTRacer · · Score: 4, Funny
      Well, actually, I bet in some cases, the last thing going through your mind is about eight feet worth of sharp pointy horns...

      GTRacer
      - ...or maybe elsewhere...

      --
      Defending IP by destroying access to it? That makes sense, RIAA/MPAA. Go to the corner until you can play nice!
  3. Features I'd like to see in the next Windows by Ubergrendle · · Score: 5, Funny

    - Everything configurable via the command line for power users
    - Non-integrated browser
    - Non-integrated media player
    - Drivers for USB 2.0, Bluetooth, and Firewire
    - 100% documented APIs
    - No WPA

    I would also like the ability to fly, bend metal objects with my mind, and understand women.

    --
    John Maynard Keynes: "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do?"
    1. Re:Features I'd like to see in the next Windows by kzinti · · Score: 5, Funny
      I would also like the ability to fly, bend metal objects with my mind, and understand women.

      To bastardize the words of the late great Douglas Adams:

      There is a theory which states that if men ever succeed in understanding women, they will instantly disappear and be replaced with something even more bizarre inexplicable.

      There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

      --Jim
  4. As a Texas A & M University graduate by krails · · Score: 4, Funny

    And as an Aggie, I think it's damn funny that they'd call it "Longhorn". Guess I'll have to name my test machine I install it on "Bevo" and rename my main Linux server "Beatthehellouttatu". =)

    Gig 'em!

  5. Re:The much anticipated... by Quill_28 · · Score: 4, Funny

    If they come out with a better notepad wouldn't they be using their monopoly power to crush the competition?

  6. Re:The much anticipated... by x0n · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ah, you know about the secret .LOG function too? Open notepad, make the first line .LOG -- save it, and voila, everytime you open it, it inserts a timestamp! beat that EMACS in under 85 lines of lisp!

    - Ois

    --

    PGP KeyId: 0x08D63965
  7. Re:FYI: Windows "Longhorn" Platform Goals by mickwd · · Score: 5, Funny
    "...predictable power button behaviour..."

    ????

    You mean like a power button that turns the power on, and then off again ?

    Us open-source folks had better give up now - there's no way we can catch up with advances like this...

  8. Re:Shot in the Dark Guess by bnenning · · Score: 5, Funny
    but it may have something to do with integrating the Digital Rights Management scheme further, so that ordinary users cannot rip CDs


    As an Apple shareholder, I strongly encourage Microsoft to do this.

    --
    How to solve most of our problems: 1.Lots of nuclear plants. 2.Cure aging.
  9. Re:FYI: Windows "Longhorn" Platform Goals by Colz+Grigor · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, this means that Windows Longhorn will predict when the user really wanted to hit the power button and will turn off instantly.

    The heuristics for determining shutdown times have been improving since Windows 3.1. Remember the advent of the Blue Screen of Death in NT 4.0? That was really just a message telling the user "we think it's time for you to shut off the computer".

    ::Colz Grigor

  10. Nice name by DotComVictim · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think it's quite funny that the codename "longhorn" refers to the beetle family, cerambycidae, well known pests of forests and ornamental plants. The larvae consist of worms that bore into the host, making it more susceptible to future infestation and disease.

    The analogy between this and the Windows operating system invasion of the corporate desktop is quite amusing.

  11. Uh Oh by kick_in_the_eye · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't confuse this with the new Lindows Wonghorn release.

  12. How appropriately named. by MongooseCN · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bend over so MS can give you the Longhorn..

    --


    Outdoor digital photography, mostly in New Engl