Star Wars: AOTC Reviews Pour In

Dork King writes "The New York Time's Review of AOTC (free reg, yada yada) notes that Attack of the Clones doesn't look good for fans. Thankfully, I'm not a fan." Also, dw5000 writes "The BBC has a favorable review of Attack of the Clones on its news website, as well as an executive summary of what the UK papers are saying about AotC. The populist tabloids love it, while the broadsheets are giving cautious approval. Hmm. Maybe I won't wait for DVD ..." I also noticed Variety has a review up as well. Also, for those who have lost all hope for Star Wars, I submit to you the date of the Spider-Man sequel: May 7th, 2004. You should know that spoilers exist in one or more of these stories. Beware!

Comments

spoiler

[dirvish]

Spider-Man spoiler? How is that possible? Anyone who is a fan knows every possible story line they could use in the sequal.

Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[TheMonkeyDepartment]

The reviews have, for the most part, been overwhelmingly positive. Chris Gore's review at Film Threat is a good example. He says AOTC is second only to Empire Strikes Back in quality. (It is important to note that he thought Phantom Menace was total crap, in fact he was one of its harshest critics.)

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[spike hay]

For those to lazy to register:

AFTER sitting through "Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones," I'm tempted to quote an evergreen Public Enemy song: don't believe the hype. But really, belief is beside the point. The promotional machinery around the "Star Wars" franchise exists beyond fervor or skepticism; it is a fact of life. When the fifth installment in George Lucas's pop-Wagnerian cycle opens nationally on Thursday (after being shown at the first TriBeCa Film Festival on Sunday afternoon), the event will have all the spontaneity and surprise of an election day in the old Soviet Union.

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Like weary Brezhnev-era Muscovites, the American

moviegoing public will line up out of habit and compulsion, ruefully hoping that this episode will at least be a little better than the last one, and perhaps inwardly suspecting that the whole elephantine system is rotten. Even the true believers camped out on the sidewalks with their toy light sabers (or the ones at the screening I attended who burst into applause at the appearance of the 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm company logos) seem more dutiful than enthusiastic.

Already I can hear the equally habitual murmurs of protest: Oh, come on, lighten up! It's only a movie.

Well, for one thing, given the scale and expense (reportedly $140 million) of the enterprise, not to mention its ability to command the money and attention of audiences around the world, there's nothing "only" about it. And for another, while "Attack of the Clones" is many things -- a two-hour-and-12-minute action- figure commercial, a demo reel heralding the latest advances in digital filmmaking, a chance for gifted actors to be handsomely paid for delivering the worst line readings of their careers -- it is not really much of a movie at all, if by movie you mean a work of visual storytelling about the dramatic actions of a group of interesting characters.

Twenty-five years ago the first "Star Wars" picture, which we are now supposed to call "Episode IV -- A New Hope," offered a revelatory combination of whimsy and grandeur. The big, archetypal themes were there and would emerge into sharper relief through the next two films, but they were leavened by a cheeky sense of fun grounded in Mr. Lucas's love of old serials and B-movies. The solemn drama of Luke Skywalker's Oedipal struggle with Darth Vader was offset by, among other things, the twinkling Gable-and- Lombard sexiness of Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher as Han Solo and Princess Leia. The special effects were spectacular and elaborate, but there was also something jaunty in the inventiveness that produced them.

That was a long time ago. In reviving the saga, and setting out to chronicle Luke's genealogy and the earlier history of the Jedi order, Mr. Lucas seems to have lost his boyish glee. As the effects have grown more intricate and realistic, their ability to yield pleasure and astonishment has diminished.

"Clones" takes place 10 years after "Episode I -- The Phantom Menace," and it is as thick with exposition as an undergraduate history course. An early reference to disgruntled miners on one of the moons of Naboo elicits a spasm of anxiety: will this be on the final? Footnotes to the earlier (which is to say, to the later) episodes are interesting in a scholastic kind of way. Now, at long last, we know the parentage of Boba Fett, the vengeful bounty hunter from the first three films.

But where are the clones? Send in the clones! Patience, young Jedi. They're already here, on a distant, storm-tossed planet, waiting for their big climactic battle scene. First, however, you must attend to the political turmoil that threatens the stability of the republic. Separatists in far-flung solar systems, apparently in cahoots with the dark side, are causing all kinds of trouble, and the beleagured Jedi and the fractious senate are ill equipped to contain it. This leads to some earnest palaver among the sinister chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) and the Jedi elders, who include Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits, Ewan McGregor and Yoda, as well as assorted masked and computer-animated space knights and politicos.

Mr. McGregor, revisiting the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi and looking ever less likely to age into Sir Alec Guinness, must also undertake some intergalactic police work, trying to find those responsible for an attempt on the life of Senator Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman), who has become a legislator after her tenure as the elected (and apparently term-limited) queen of Naboo. (Jar Jar Binks, the notorious duck-billed racial caricature from "The Phantom Menace," has also returned, accent and all. Now you may call him Senator Binks. Whether this makes the character less offensive or more is something to ponder.)

Obi-Wan's apprentice, Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), is assigned to be Padmé's bodyguard. He promptly falls in love with her, which occasions some of the most embarrassing romantic avowals in recent screen history. The gifted Anakin also manifests some of the traits that will eventually pull him over to the dark side: arrogance, a hot temper and contempt for democratic institutions. It is clear by now that the purpose of the saga is to do for Anakin/ Darth Vader what Robert A. Caro has been doing for Lyndon B. Johnson, but Mr. Lucas lacks Mr. Caro's feel for human psychology and his insight into the workings of politics.

The story of a young, ambitious knight's corruption, set against a backdrop of incipient civil war, has enormous potential, but Mr. Lucas (who wrote the script with Jonathan Hales) is, at best, a haphazard storyteller. He also has lost either the will or the ability to connect with actors, and his crowded, noisy cosmos is pyschologically and emotionally barren. Mr. Christensen and Ms. Portman are timid and stiff, and uncertain of their diction. They alternate between the august tones of high-school Shakespeareans and the suburban soap-opera naturalism of "Dawson's Creek." Only Mr. Jackson, Frank Oz (the voice of Yoda) and, later, the formidable Christopher Lee seem comfortable in their performances, perhaps because they know better than to take the proceedings too seriously.

Now is perhaps the time to say that the special effects -- the scaly critters and planetary landscapes, the swordplay and the spaceship chases -- demonstrate impressive polish and visual integrity. But now is also the time to say: so what? Yes, the battle scenes and the monster rallies are superior to anything in "The Mummy," "The Mummy Returns" or "The Scorpion King," but that lowbrow franchise at least has the good sense to acknowledge its silliness. "Attack of the Clones," in contrast, like "The Phantom Menace," lumbers along in the confining armor of bogus wisdom.

There are two moments, one early and one late, in which the sententious hooey is cast off and some of the old "Star Wars" spirit peeks out. The first is an aerial chase through traffic-clogged skies, in which the great cinematic challenge of conveying flight is breathtakingly surmounted. The other is a light- saber duel between the evil Count Dooku (Mr. Lee) and Yoda. Watching the elfin, leaping Yoda mix it up with the tall, graceful British bad guy momentarily dispels the ponderous tedium that has come before, but it is too little, too late.

Given Mr. Lee's long career in horror films, the contest also recalls one of those debates that erupt among third graders about the relative prowess of fictional characters. ("No way could Batman beat up Superman. He doesn't even really have powers." "Yuh-uh, 'cause what if Batman had some Kryptonite?" "Yeah, but neither one of them could beat the Incredible Hulk.") Could Yoda beat up Dracula? Good question. But the more relevant one is whether Anakin Skywalker can beat Spider-Man. The answer, young Jedi, is in your hands.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Shelled]

From the Film Threat review:

Let me put it to you this way, "Clones" is not a good movie - but it is an incredibly awesome Star Wars movie!

If this is an example of a Chris Gore rave, I'm dying to read one of his pans.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[wmansir]

It's odd how I hear all these fanboys saying that 90% of the reviews are positive, or the critics hate/don't get Star Wars movies. Let's take a look at the early results:

At this point Clones has 58%.

As a comparison, TPM as a 58% positive review rating. Compared to Star Wars at 97%, Empires at 97%, and Jedi at 79%.

If we look at the cream of the crop section (AKA the real film critics), TPM has a miserable 33% positive, but still beats Clone's current rating of 25%.

Re: Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Black Parrot]

> For those to lazy to register:

LMAO. If the movie's half so entertaining as that review, it should do OK.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[dswensen]

Well, a couple of things:

1) There's still a week to go before the film is released, and plenty of critics don't release reviews until opening day.

2) Sci-fi films of any kind rarely do well with film critics, regardless of their pedigree.

3) Films that are absolute critical flops often appeal to filmgoers a great deal. Witness Titanic.

4) As long as there's a Star Wars fan or film critic still alive who grew up with the original Star Wars, none of the new movies will ever get rated higher than the classic trilogy, especially ESB.

5) Some people will like it regardless of the quality of the movie.

6) Some people will hate it regardless of the quality of the movie.

One also at Fox News

[Drizzten]

Star Wars Returns for Better or Worse

Having seen the movie...

[Obiwan Kenobi]

...thanks to a friend of a friend of an executive, I can tell you that the movie is a Star Wars fans' dream. I'm going spoiler-free this time out.

The Good:

The visuals are amazing. From start to finish, while Lucas may be in love with the computers a bit too much, what is here is fantastic and you will definitely hear gasps during several points of the movie.

The Yoda battle. If you've seen the TV commercials you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, think green, think three feet tall, think Jedi. He's not called a master for nothing.

Ewan McGregor. The man is a genius and his little ticks and manerisms put him in the character so well it makes the rest of the actors look bad. The Score. Oh man, Williams sealed the Oscar nod about twenty minutes in. You'll see what I mean. It's beautiful, beautiful stuff.

What's Bad:

The dialogue stinks. While witty banter is sparse, and mostly kept to the great Obiwan/Anakin discussions found in different spots, make not mistake that the romance story's wooden, dead-before-it-leaves-their-mouths lines are cringe-inducing.

Hayden Christenson. Not bad, per se, just..eh. Not a lot going on here. He tries too hard and sometimes it's hard to swallow. He does nail it in a few key scenes, most specifically near the climax of the movie, and that's what counts.

Jar-Jar. Even when he's reduced to 10 minutes of screen time, the damn guy still irritates the shit outta me.

Overall, this is a fun romp that as a film stinks, but as far as Star Wars and all that that implies, this is a fanboy's dream and not even Spider-Man comes close to the deep, heroin-junkie-like need to watch the movie again as soon as you see the end credits.

Prepare to geek out.

Other mainstream reviews...

[koganuts]

AotC got a C+, while Spider-Man got a B (different reviewer though).

AotC reviews have also been summarized at Studio Briefing (first headline under "Film"), although it mistakenly points out that Episodes IV-VI are the top-selling DVDs (instead of the top-REQUESTED DVDs) on Amazon.com, and listed at Rotten Tomatoes.

...and it's already on the net!

[VValdo]

According to The LA Times, you can find AOTC on irc chat.

From the article:

The pirating of "Attack of the Clones" lends fuel to the film industry's efforts in Washington to crack down on piracy. While the studios' trade association steps up its enforcement activities, their lobbyists are pushing for laws that would require computers and consumer electronics to be modified to deter unauthorized copying.

"It's an extremely serious threat," said Jean Murrell Adams, head of the litigation department at DreamWorks SKG. "I'm not surprised that it's on the Internet. I talk to pirates because I want to find out why they're doing this. And what I've been told is that they were eagerly anticipating who would be first to do this. It's a challenge for them."

Apparently it's a version videotaped in the theater, which they're worried will cut into DVD sales (?)

W

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[rosewood]

I have 100+ DivXs sitting here next to me
I dont have a single DivX of a movie I would buy on DVD or havent seen on a theatre screen

Its been shown time and again that p2p etc. does not cut into sales

Weirdos

I guess I just dont understand - its like the free art museum that wont let you take pictures to show your friends half way across the world that will NEVER SEE THIS ART

recipe for comments in this discussion:

[jdbo]

mix-n-match to your pleasure:

claim to righteousness:

• "I haven't seen it, and..." (modded up as insightful)
• "I have seen it, and..." (lying, modded up as informative)
• "I have seen it, and..." (true, modded down as troll)

claim of truth:

• "...it sucks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it rocks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it sucks and (LOTR/Spider-Man/Matrix) rocks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it rocks and (LOTR/Spider-Man/Matrix) sucks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...[perverse rant about Natalie Portman]..." (continously modded up as interesting and down as troll)
• "...what about the MPAA?..." (modded down as flamebait)
• "...[actual thoughtful review]..." (modded down as redundant)

parting declaration:

• "...Lucas has lost it!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...Lucas is the king!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...the FX are incredible!..." (modded down as redundant)
• "...I've done better FX on my basement 486 using POVRAY..." (modded up as interesting)
• "...it's OK. Go see it if you're interested, ignore it otherwise, and by all means wait for the swarming masses of raving geeks to dissipate..." (ignored by moderators)
• "...[desparate plea for a date with Natalie Portman]..." (modded up as funny)

Ripoff

[miracle69]

This movie is an obvious ripoff of two highly successful movies from two different eras: Strange Brew and Spiderman

Let's Compare.

Strange Brew : Star Wars EP II
Flying Dog : Flying Green Muppet
Plot to take over world : Plot to take over universe
Evil hockey players : Stormtroopers
Beer is source of power : "Midichlorion" microbrew
Bob and Doug : Obi and Anakin
Based on Hamlet : Based on ancient myths
Max von Sydow : Ian McDiarmid

Clearly, this movie is just a poor-rehash of Strange Brew with one twist - Spiderman special effects and the "spider sense" redone in an effort to trick the viewer into liking this poor-rendition of the greatest movie ever made, Strange Brew.

I don't buy it.

Kooookokokokokokokooooooo!

AOTC

[Anonymous Coward]

Since I have nothing witty to say, I will state for the record that Chewbacca is a better actor than Worf.

Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Infonaut]

I couldn't help but notice how we're all watching like hawks to see how the new Star Wars movie is being reviewed, especially in the context of Slashdotters' comments about bestseller lists.

I wonder what it is that makes us so skeptical of the perceptions of others when it comes to books, but so eager to hear the opinions of others when we're talking about movies.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Malcontent]

The truth of the matter is that it does not matter how good or bad this movie is. The last one sucked massively yet everybody went to see it anyway. Everybody will rush out and see this one too just because it says star wars in the title and geekboys think they will be super cool if they are first in line.

There is a sucker born every minute and two to take him. Lucas knows how to milk the suckers for all they are worth.

**Whaooomph!**

[n4zgl]

that was the sound of the LotR gauntlet landing

This movie had to be better. Watching the 'love' version preview in theatres playing Fellowship of the Rings gave you a feeling similar to watching the kid next door show of his supermario brothers LCD two days after you got a C64...

I am glad to hear Lucas and Co have pulled it off. Bring on the talent!

Britney?

[Ogerman]

Is it just my imagination or is queen Amidala dressed almost precisely like Britney Spears in that one scene? Tight vinyl pants and top, belly showing, etc. Except it's a white outfit instead of red.. How lame can you get? Lucas has definitely sold out to corporate America. Sad really..

Re:Britney?

[PCM2]

Is it just my imagination or is queen Amidala dressed almost precisely like Britney Spears in that one scene? Tight vinyl pants and top, belly showing, etc. Except it's a white outfit instead of red.. How lame can you get? Lucas has definitely sold out to corporate America. Sad really..

You would have preferred her naked and petrified, perhaps?

random login gateway link

[majcher]

http://www.majcher.com/nytview.html?url=http://www . ytimes.com/2002/05/10/movies/10STAR.html&submit

Generates a random login every time and jumps to the page ... until they change the registration format again, that is...

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Stormie]

Anyone else notice the blah/blah and yada/yada login/passwords don't seem to work at New York Times anymore.

Well, I created a new account to read this. Username is something like sdkfgdkfs and password is something like pwejorowebn. (email is sdkufgsdf@ksfsdf.com)

If they want another one like that added to their database every time they have a story linked to by Slashdot, they're more than welcome to it.

Re:$100 says...

[droopus]

A) The RIAA represents music labels not movie studios. That's the MPAA. B)

B) The two copies out are both pretty bad: one a cam and one a Telesync. Neither are screeners.

C) I got it, I watched it, but I'll still go see it at the cinema. Having the film early didn't do anything to change my desire to experience it in a theater, but once the DVDIVX comes out, no.. I won't buy the DVD and neither will about a half a million other people. They aren't worried about some crappy cam cutting into home video sales: they are worried about the super high quality High Def rips and DVDIVX encodes that are perfectly fine substitutes for DVDs for most people.

It'll still sell but anyone who doesn't think filesharing isn't the death of the music and (eventually) film businesses might do well to study the 1940's business models of the studios and labels, and realize...they're fucked.

3 out of 4 music business employees will be out of work in five years. Remember where you heard it.

Lacquer and celluloid business models don't do well against silicon and glass fiber.

Re:The dread disease Midichlorian-itis!

[jimmcq]

I think you'll pleased to find not a single mention of Midichlorians in Attack of the Clones.

Re:My AotC tickets

[troc]

Interestingly, DLY has nowhere near the resolution or colour saturation etc of NEW 35mm film. A brand spanking new reel of old-fashioned film is a better visual medium.

Where DLP wins is that after a few showings it is still dust free and as good as new. So theoretically if you canch an early showing you should really go to a film version but if you wait a week - then go to a DLP version.

It's only 330 or so Gigs after all.

Pirated Edition on the Web

[Alien54]

I noted this morning that Radio Free Nation has a item on how the pirated edition of the film has made it to the web.

This is sure to open a can of worms.

Of course it got pirated so quickly because it is huge, but you know this will feed arguments in other forums.