Star Wars: AOTC Reviews Pour In

Dork King writes "The New York Time's Review of AOTC (free reg, yada yada) notes that Attack of the Clones doesn't look good for fans. Thankfully, I'm not a fan." Also, dw5000 writes "The BBC has a favorable review of Attack of the Clones on its news website, as well as an executive summary of what the UK papers are saying about AotC. The populist tabloids love it, while the broadsheets are giving cautious approval. Hmm. Maybe I won't wait for DVD ..." I also noticed Variety has a review up as well. Also, for those who have lost all hope for Star Wars, I submit to you the date of the Spider-Man sequel: May 7th, 2004. You should know that spoilers exist in one or more of these stories. Beware!

Comments

spoiler

[dirvish]

Spider-Man spoiler? How is that possible? Anyone who is a fan knows every possible story line they could use in the sequal.

Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[TheMonkeyDepartment]

The reviews have, for the most part, been overwhelmingly positive. Chris Gore's review at Film Threat is a good example. He says AOTC is second only to Empire Strikes Back in quality. (It is important to note that he thought Phantom Menace was total crap, in fact he was one of its harshest critics.)

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[PontifexPrimus]

If you're looking for a somwehat comprehensive listing of reviews, check out this [rottentomatoes.com]. While the press seems divided almost 50:50 on the issue, those not liking the movie are the most vocal...

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[spike hay]

For those to lazy to register:

AFTER sitting through "Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones," I'm tempted to quote an evergreen Public Enemy song: don't believe the hype. But really, belief is beside the point. The promotional machinery around the "Star Wars" franchise exists beyond fervor or skepticism; it is a fact of life. When the fifth installment in George Lucas's pop-Wagnerian cycle opens nationally on Thursday (after being shown at the first TriBeCa Film Festival on Sunday afternoon), the event will have all the spontaneity and surprise of an election day in the old Soviet Union.

Advertisement

Like weary Brezhnev-era Muscovites, the American

moviegoing public will line up out of habit and compulsion, ruefully hoping that this episode will at least be a little better than the last one, and perhaps inwardly suspecting that the whole elephantine system is rotten. Even the true believers camped out on the sidewalks with their toy light sabers (or the ones at the screening I attended who burst into applause at the appearance of the 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm company logos) seem more dutiful than enthusiastic.

Already I can hear the equally habitual murmurs of protest: Oh, come on, lighten up! It's only a movie.

Well, for one thing, given the scale and expense (reportedly $140 million) of the enterprise, not to mention its ability to command the money and attention of audiences around the world, there's nothing "only" about it. And for another, while "Attack of the Clones" is many things -- a two-hour-and-12-minute action- figure commercial, a demo reel heralding the latest advances in digital filmmaking, a chance for gifted actors to be handsomely paid for delivering the worst line readings of their careers -- it is not really much of a movie at all, if by movie you mean a work of visual storytelling about the dramatic actions of a group of interesting characters.

Twenty-five years ago the first "Star Wars" picture, which we are now supposed to call "Episode IV -- A New Hope," offered a revelatory combination of whimsy and grandeur. The big, archetypal themes were there and would emerge into sharper relief through the next two films, but they were leavened by a cheeky sense of fun grounded in Mr. Lucas's love of old serials and B-movies. The solemn drama of Luke Skywalker's Oedipal struggle with Darth Vader was offset by, among other things, the twinkling Gable-and- Lombard sexiness of Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher as Han Solo and Princess Leia. The special effects were spectacular and elaborate, but there was also something jaunty in the inventiveness that produced them.

That was a long time ago. In reviving the saga, and setting out to chronicle Luke's genealogy and the earlier history of the Jedi order, Mr. Lucas seems to have lost his boyish glee. As the effects have grown more intricate and realistic, their ability to yield pleasure and astonishment has diminished.

"Clones" takes place 10 years after "Episode I -- The Phantom Menace," and it is as thick with exposition as an undergraduate history course. An early reference to disgruntled miners on one of the moons of Naboo elicits a spasm of anxiety: will this be on the final? Footnotes to the earlier (which is to say, to the later) episodes are interesting in a scholastic kind of way. Now, at long last, we know the parentage of Boba Fett, the vengeful bounty hunter from the first three films.

But where are the clones? Send in the clones! Patience, young Jedi. They're already here, on a distant, storm-tossed planet, waiting for their big climactic battle scene. First, however, you must attend to the political turmoil that threatens the stability of the republic. Separatists in far-flung solar systems, apparently in cahoots with the dark side, are causing all kinds of trouble, and the beleagured Jedi and the fractious senate are ill equipped to contain it. This leads to some earnest palaver among the sinister chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) and the Jedi elders, who include Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits, Ewan McGregor and Yoda, as well as assorted masked and computer-animated space knights and politicos.

Mr. McGregor, revisiting the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi and looking ever less likely to age into Sir Alec Guinness, must also undertake some intergalactic police work, trying to find those responsible for an attempt on the life of Senator Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman), who has become a legislator after her tenure as the elected (and apparently term-limited) queen of Naboo. (Jar Jar Binks, the notorious duck-billed racial caricature from "The Phantom Menace," has also returned, accent and all. Now you may call him Senator Binks. Whether this makes the character less offensive or more is something to ponder.)

Obi-Wan's apprentice, Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), is assigned to be Padmé's bodyguard. He promptly falls in love with her, which occasions some of the most embarrassing romantic avowals in recent screen history. The gifted Anakin also manifests some of the traits that will eventually pull him over to the dark side: arrogance, a hot temper and contempt for democratic institutions. It is clear by now that the purpose of the saga is to do for Anakin/ Darth Vader what Robert A. Caro has been doing for Lyndon B. Johnson, but Mr. Lucas lacks Mr. Caro's feel for human psychology and his insight into the workings of politics.

The story of a young, ambitious knight's corruption, set against a backdrop of incipient civil war, has enormous potential, but Mr. Lucas (who wrote the script with Jonathan Hales) is, at best, a haphazard storyteller. He also has lost either the will or the ability to connect with actors, and his crowded, noisy cosmos is pyschologically and emotionally barren. Mr. Christensen and Ms. Portman are timid and stiff, and uncertain of their diction. They alternate between the august tones of high-school Shakespeareans and the suburban soap-opera naturalism of "Dawson's Creek." Only Mr. Jackson, Frank Oz (the voice of Yoda) and, later, the formidable Christopher Lee seem comfortable in their performances, perhaps because they know better than to take the proceedings too seriously.

Now is perhaps the time to say that the special effects -- the scaly critters and planetary landscapes, the swordplay and the spaceship chases -- demonstrate impressive polish and visual integrity. But now is also the time to say: so what? Yes, the battle scenes and the monster rallies are superior to anything in "The Mummy," "The Mummy Returns" or "The Scorpion King," but that lowbrow franchise at least has the good sense to acknowledge its silliness. "Attack of the Clones," in contrast, like "The Phantom Menace," lumbers along in the confining armor of bogus wisdom.

There are two moments, one early and one late, in which the sententious hooey is cast off and some of the old "Star Wars" spirit peeks out. The first is an aerial chase through traffic-clogged skies, in which the great cinematic challenge of conveying flight is breathtakingly surmounted. The other is a light- saber duel between the evil Count Dooku (Mr. Lee) and Yoda. Watching the elfin, leaping Yoda mix it up with the tall, graceful British bad guy momentarily dispels the ponderous tedium that has come before, but it is too little, too late.

Given Mr. Lee's long career in horror films, the contest also recalls one of those debates that erupt among third graders about the relative prowess of fictional characters. ("No way could Batman beat up Superman. He doesn't even really have powers." "Yuh-uh, 'cause what if Batman had some Kryptonite?" "Yeah, but neither one of them could beat the Incredible Hulk.") Could Yoda beat up Dracula? Good question. But the more relevant one is whether Anakin Skywalker can beat Spider-Man. The answer, young Jedi, is in your hands.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Shelled]

From the Film Threat review:

Let me put it to you this way, "Clones" is not a good movie - but it is an incredibly awesome Star Wars movie!

If this is an example of a Chris Gore rave, I'm dying to read one of his pans.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[wmansir]

It's odd how I hear all these fanboys saying that 90% of the reviews are positive, or the critics hate/don't get Star Wars movies. Let's take a look at the early results:

At this point Clones has 58%.

As a comparison, TPM as a 58% positive review rating. Compared to Star Wars at 97%, Empires at 97%, and Jedi at 79%.

If we look at the cream of the crop section (AKA the real film critics), TPM has a miserable 33% positive, but still beats Clone's current rating of 25%.

Re: Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Black Parrot]

> For those to lazy to register:

LMAO. If the movie's half so entertaining as that review, it should do OK.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Anonymous Coward]

While this previous post would seem legitimate, we must keep in mind that the high reviews given to the original trilogy are based on the rereleases and not the initial releases. Given that, nostalgia and a nice age have added to the taste. Yes, I would like to see AOTC do well and of course be a good movie, but it probably won't be. But guess what, The Two Towers probably will be and I will have my fix, and care nevertheless. I must say though, the hype SW movies get is pretty gross.

Re: Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[kneeo]

The court ruled it legal to fuck the voters by running out the clock, and demonstrated how to do it.

The court's job is to interpret laws not go create them. If the law says that the polls close at 8pm, the county officials have the right to lock the doors at that time. If you do no like the law, I suggest you work at a grass roots level to get the law changed. Find more people tho agree with you and lobby your state gov't.

Re: Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Permission Denied]

If the movie's half so entertaining as that review,

No kidding. This guy can write. Very amusing.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[dswensen]

Well, a couple of things:

1) There's still a week to go before the film is released, and plenty of critics don't release reviews until opening day.

2) Sci-fi films of any kind rarely do well with film critics, regardless of their pedigree.

3) Films that are absolute critical flops often appeal to filmgoers a great deal. Witness Titanic.

4) As long as there's a Star Wars fan or film critic still alive who grew up with the original Star Wars, none of the new movies will ever get rated higher than the classic trilogy, especially ESB.

5) Some people will like it regardless of the quality of the movie.

6) Some people will hate it regardless of the quality of the movie.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Telastyn]

I dunno. Reading the reviews on imdb they are all very positive, and all bring up the same/similar points. The user reviews there it seems to me give a good indication of differing people's tastes and are pretty genuine.

It bodes very well as it is quite rare for movies to get unanimously good reviews there.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Physics Dude]

... compared to Star Wars [rottentomatoes.com] at 97% ...

Just remember to take the 'cream of the crop' reviews with a grain of salt. Don't forget that Siskel & Ebert originally gave StarWars two thumbs down claiming that it wasn't 'adult' enough for viewers.

I try to always go into a movie hopefull, but not expecting too much. Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised. It also seems to help the enjoyment if I never expect any movie to be serious. :)

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[TheMonkeyDepartment]

You'll get no argument from me there. I still visit mostly out of habit, I guess.

Re:Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[dswensen]

I stand corrected. No film that ever bombed with the critics was EVER a runaway box-office hit. Ever.

Okay, bad example, but you know what I mean.

Plot twist to come

[ObviousGuy]

The Jedi are destroyed and the remaining few are scattered about the galaxy.

Anakin turns to the Dark Side and becomes Darth Vader.

Jar Jar Binks is the worst Star Wars character ever.

Lucas should have gone for real foreign languages instead of giving everyone bad accents.

Re:Plot twist to come

[jo42]

Lucas should have gone for real foreign languages instead of giving everyone bad accents.

Lucas should have gone for real foreign languages instead of giving everyone bad racist accents.

One also at Fox News

[Drizzten]

Star Wars Returns for Better or Worse

Re:One also at Fox News

[dimator]

Some other quotes from that site: The Simpsons is awesome; CNN sucks; Friends sucks; When Animals attack 32 is great.

Seeing it ...ahem... digitally

[warmcat]

I read on alt.binaries.vcd that FTF already has a telesync, so you may indeed not have to wait for the DVD.

Re:Seeing it ...ahem... digitally

[kawaichan]

The quality is so bad that it's not even funny

Don't be cheap, go pay $8 and watch it.

It would really spoil the whole thing when you are trying to tell people apart...

Re:Seeing it ...ahem... digitally

[rosewood]

haha - $8 - you are fucking kidding me?

I havent seen a movie in YEARS worth eight fucking dollars

See my post about my 3 12:01 am DLP showing tickets for AotC

I paid $4 a peice

Re:Seeing it ...ahem... digitally

[rosewood]

Wow - I hope you are just trolling

I dont dare discount the culture of NYC

However, if your ignorant statement is a true reflection of your beleif then you can see why so many people hate New Yorkers and their fucking snobby attitude

Can you sleep at night in the dark and quiet and have a cool non-polluted breeze come through your open window that no one is going to break in through?

Can you drive 15 miles and be in the middle of no-where?

I live in a City of half a million. Sure, thats small but I can go to a festival this weekend w/o fear and enjoy and have a good time.

As for Gas-n-Go - well here its Quick Trips, the best convinience stores known to man-kind - I can go in there after midnight and not fear it will get robbed. I can shit on their toilet and not get some disease.

Oh, I can also get a tech job in Wichita - and $65,000 goes a long way here

Cost of living here is way low, and quality of living aint shabby at all

Re:Seeing it ...ahem... digitally

[haa...jesus christ]

its good to see that you bumpkins still have a 1970s view of new york, which wasn't really accurate even then. idiot.

Having seen the movie...

[Obiwan Kenobi]

...thanks to a friend of a friend of an executive, I can tell you that the movie is a Star Wars fans' dream. I'm going spoiler-free this time out.

The Good:

The visuals are amazing. From start to finish, while Lucas may be in love with the computers a bit too much, what is here is fantastic and you will definitely hear gasps during several points of the movie.

The Yoda battle. If you've seen the TV commercials you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, think green, think three feet tall, think Jedi. He's not called a master for nothing.

Ewan McGregor. The man is a genius and his little ticks and manerisms put him in the character so well it makes the rest of the actors look bad. The Score. Oh man, Williams sealed the Oscar nod about twenty minutes in. You'll see what I mean. It's beautiful, beautiful stuff.

What's Bad:

The dialogue stinks. While witty banter is sparse, and mostly kept to the great Obiwan/Anakin discussions found in different spots, make not mistake that the romance story's wooden, dead-before-it-leaves-their-mouths lines are cringe-inducing.

Hayden Christenson. Not bad, per se, just..eh. Not a lot going on here. He tries too hard and sometimes it's hard to swallow. He does nail it in a few key scenes, most specifically near the climax of the movie, and that's what counts.

Jar-Jar. Even when he's reduced to 10 minutes of screen time, the damn guy still irritates the shit outta me.

Overall, this is a fun romp that as a film stinks, but as far as Star Wars and all that that implies, this is a fanboy's dream and not even Spider-Man comes close to the deep, heroin-junkie-like need to watch the movie again as soon as you see the end credits.

Prepare to geek out.

Re:Having seen the movie...

[gosand]

Jar-Jar. Even when he's reduced to 10 minutes of screen time, the damn guy still irritates the shit outta me.

Please, for the love of Jebus, tell me he gets disemboweled. Decapitated? Maimed? Wounded? Something, ANYTHING!

They ran Episode I on Fox last night, and I ran across it during the battle with Maul, so I decided to watch it. I honestly forgot how bad most of that movie was. That annoying, catch-phrase spewing, attempt at mass-market appeal character was in way too much of the movie. And I am talking about Anakin Skywalker. jar-jar (I refuse to even capitalize it) was even worse.

I will go see AOTC, but I'll wait about a month or two. I am in no hurry. I heard that Yoda was completely CG this time around. Hopefully, Lucas' team did better than they have in the past.

Re:Having seen the movie...

[whovian]

Here in the States, TPM was on Fox last night. This time around I found Jar Jar to be simply friggin immature. Yeah, so that is irritating.
&nbsp I have the impression that AOTC will be more mature and focused, both in terms of storyline and how Lucas doesn't have to pay tribute to the fans who grew up with Episodes 4-6.

Re:Having seen the movie...

[colmore]

If Episode 1 was Lucas' "tribute" to his fans, then he's got less sense that I thought.

Re:Having seen the movie...

[bitrott]

All the SW movies had bad dialog. Ep 4 was the worst for it.BFD

Re:Having seen the movie...

[gosand]

Now Mr. Lucas, don't hide behind that Anonymous Coward login. If I hurt your feelings, you should have thought twice about so blatantly trying to cash in on your success.

Episode I will always be known as the "Godfather III" of the Star Wars series. That isn't my fault. Come on, the movie would have been a hit, everyone was waiting for it. Everyone was excited about it because the other 3 were so good. Even though they progressively slipped towards marketing and catering to the lowest common denominator, they were still OK. Episode I made the huge leap from teetering on the edge to being a full-blown crap-fest. To me, it tainted Lucas. And not JUST because of that stupid clown-character. There were two of them. He betrayed the series and the story by making Anakin Skywalker a buffoon. Yes, he was a kid - but this is Darth Vader we are talking about!

Now I am no zealot, I don't have Star Wars underoors, bedsheets, or any collectibles. I had a couple of figures when I was little, and a cool big comic book. But those are long gone. I am not one of those losers who would wait in line on opening day for ANY movie. I don't dress up in costumes from the movie, or go to conventions. All you people really need a reality check. I am just a fan, and was sorely disappointed by Episode I. Other people were too. If that dissatisfaction wasn't voiced, AOTC probably would be just as bad or worse. Lucas had clearly lost touch, and completely sold out. Which is so very ironic because he was guaranteed that the movie would be popular. He has a chance to redeem himself in the eyes of his fans by not doing the same dumbass things he did in that movie. Hopefully he listened to the harsh criticism, and made some changes. I am going to wait for all the hype to die down before I see it. If it is similar enough, I may just forego plunking down my money for it.

Sorry to run on, but I thought my response deserved a little more than a few "blah blahs" and "yadda yaddas". Maybe just saying "you suck" would have been more your style, but not mine.

Re:Having seen the movie...

[Van Halen]

Heh. I wonder if the dialog could be improved by translating it to some other language in Babelfish and then translating back to English. It's worth a shot!

Re:Having seen the movie...

[Darth Cider]

Phantom Menace reminded me of the sci fi serials I saw as a kid before the main attraction. Afterwards, I read that Lucas intended to pay homage to them. Episode I was the fitting place. This probably can't be discerned by someone with no early influences in serials, but it's clear as a bell to me, and I loved Phantom Menace for the big reminder. Fans of Star Wars have preconceptions about what a story ought to be, but Lucas to me was more of an "author" in Phantom Menace than in the previous three episodes, which to me are the barest Joseph Campbell-esque templates of archetypal driven epic.

Re:Having seen the movie...

[JFTaylor]

While I agree with the spirit of the assessment, I'd like to mention the following:

Unlike most of the "I'm so mature and Jar-Jar stinks" crowd, I am not under the delusion that Star Wars movies are anything more than fun summer fare that I happen to enjoy quite a bit. Of all the movies in the last 20 or so years, I can count on ONE hand the movies I wanted to see more than once. Star Wars movies are among that few. I am not pressured by the "cult of Star Wars" that expect some sort of psycho-sexual religious experience every time their butt hits the theater seats either. I am obviously one of the few who remembers that I was *8* years old when I saw ANH, and I loved it. When I saw TPM, I remembered who this movie was FOR, and enjoyed it for the fun that it was supposed to be. Star Wars is not my religion, nor is George Lucas my prophet.

I expect ATOC to be just like ANH, ESB, ROTJ, and TPM were....FUN. I expect no high art, no deep dialogue, or no compelling storyline (other than Good vs. Evil). I expect lots of Jedi, lots of explosions, lots of cool aliens, and some hideously evil Sith to spice up the story. I will get my money's worth, even if Jar Jar is in it for 20 minutes.

People need to realize that it's JUST a movie. When you strip all the expectations and heaped-on mythical importance, it is a movie. And if you try not to be so friggin' elitist about it, you might just enjoy yourselves.

Then again, most of the critics of TPM can overlook the flaws of Spiderman because, well, it's not got Jar Jar in it. Ironic....

Re:Having seen the movie...

[whovian]

My bad. Sheesh, 'tribute' was quite the wrong word. I was going for 'head nod'. As far as I am concerned Lucas really missed the core of the Star Wars saga in TPM., but it looks like he will take us aboard this time. Hopefully.

better link for spidey info

[packeteer]

as the topic says

Other mainstream reviews...

[koganuts]

AotC got a C+, while Spider-Man got a B (different reviewer though).

AotC reviews have also been summarized at Studio Briefing (first headline under "Film"), although it mistakenly points out that Episodes IV-VI are the top-selling DVDs (instead of the top-REQUESTED DVDs) on Amazon.com, and listed at Rotten Tomatoes.

My AotC tickets

[rosewood]

First, let me say that I saw TPM @ 12:01 AM CST just on a whim. There were news stories about these dorks in costumes waiting DAYS and DAYS to get their tickets and get in. My friend and I got done with a meeting late and decided what the hell. We got there @ 11:30PM, bought two tickets, got some drinks and pop-corn -- no lines for either activity -- and grabbed two half decent seats and watched the movie.

Well, this time I pre-bought tickets but thats because Dickinson Northrock 14 here in Wichita has anounced it will have TI's DLP starting with Episode Two on opening night. I now have 3 tickets for me and friends for the 12:01 showing -- but in DLP. I am not a star wars fan (Ive never seen EP 6, although I have it in DivX) but I wanna check out this DLP shit -- I hear its gonna kick ass and at least my eyes will be brought to orgasm if the movie is not that pleasing.

Re:My AotC tickets

[troc]

Interestingly, DLY has nowhere near the resolution or colour saturation etc of NEW 35mm film. A brand spanking new reel of old-fashioned film is a better visual medium.

Where DLP wins is that after a few showings it is still dust free and as good as new. So theoretically if you canch an early showing you should really go to a film version but if you wait a week - then go to a DLP version.

It's only 330 or so Gigs after all.

Re:My AotC tickets

[Tackhead]

> It's only 330 or so Gigs after all.

With 80G drives down to $120, I was thinking of picking one up, but I wondered if I'd ever fill the damn thing.

I wondered that about five years ago when 6.4G drives became cheap, and then I discovered MP3s.

It's reassuring to know that pirated content will continue to grow fast enough to keep hard drive manufacturers in business, at least to the 10-Terabyte level. Woohoo!

Re:My AotC tickets

[Webmonger]

You can't have better resolution than the original. Displaying a digitally-produced movie using a digital projector eliminates an information-losing digital-to-analog conversion.

I saw Shrek on a digital screen, and I could sure tell. It was more like watching TV than watching a movie, but I mean that in a good way-- There was no flicker, no film grain. The image was stable, sharp, and the colour was good.

For digitally-produced works, digital projection Just Makes Sense, and I expect the day will come when it beats out film projection even for film-based movies.

Re:My AotC tickets

[troc]

Only when the resolution of the digital projector is the same (or better) than that of the movie.

If they have to downsample (which I believe they do for the Texas Instruments DLP projectors they use) then there is a loss of information.

Hence there is more resolution on a 35mm film than on current DLP projectors, therefore, despite the slight loss going from digital to analogue, the picture is better than going from lotsapixels (tm) digital to notquitesolotsapixels (tm) . Until the analogue copy starts to degrade........

Troc

...and it's already on the net!

[VValdo]

According to The LA Times, you can find AOTC on irc chat.

From the article:

The pirating of "Attack of the Clones" lends fuel to the film industry's efforts in Washington to crack down on piracy. While the studios' trade association steps up its enforcement activities, their lobbyists are pushing for laws that would require computers and consumer electronics to be modified to deter unauthorized copying.

"It's an extremely serious threat," said Jean Murrell Adams, head of the litigation department at DreamWorks SKG. "I'm not surprised that it's on the Internet. I talk to pirates because I want to find out why they're doing this. And what I've been told is that they were eagerly anticipating who would be first to do this. It's a challenge for them."

Apparently it's a version videotaped in the theater, which they're worried will cut into DVD sales (?)

W

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[rosewood]

I have 100+ DivXs sitting here next to me
I dont have a single DivX of a movie I would buy on DVD or havent seen on a theatre screen

Its been shown time and again that p2p etc. does not cut into sales

Weirdos

I guess I just dont understand - its like the free art museum that wont let you take pictures to show your friends half way across the world that will NEVER SEE THIS ART

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[VirexEye]

I bet they actually believe themselves when they think that a low quality video taped overcompressed copy of the movie is going to make them lose ticket sales... I guess I can tolerate big business trying to protect their money but it is obvious they don't know where to draw the line.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[RAVasquez]

It's interesting how Lucas was so gung-ho about AoTC being end-to-end digital, which ironically may hasten its appearance as a first-gen-quality .mpg on the warez boards. I wonder how heavily Lucasfilm lobbied behind the scenes for the CBDTPA.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[linzeal]

Also flash photography over time can damage some paints. Enviromental control in art galleries and museums is not just about temperature.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[GutBomb]

he was not justifying his stealing. he was pointing out that the mpaa is talking out of thier collective asses.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[neema]

My general trend right now is I'll download a movie on DivX, watch it and if I like it, buy it on DVD if it's that good. In my opinion, a well made DVD (read: lots of special editions, or most of the Criterion collection) has superb quality and lots of other goodies that destroy downloaded or ripped movies.

I live in NYC and they sell rip off DVDs all the time around here... I don't buy any for these reasons.

Instead of working on forcing the product down everyone's throat, they should work on improving the quality. My DVD collection reflects the fact that, I for one, will buy on such quality.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[kneeo]

how is being 100% digital hasten its appearance? I could do a entire movie in analog, and someone else could still bootleg it, capture it on his/her pc, convert to divx and upload it to the net.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[T.E.D.]

I guess we've come full circle then.

My dad had a filmed-from-the-theater-screen VHS bootleg of the original Star Wars about 3 months after it came out ('77?). This was back when VCR's were brand new, and the MPAA was pushing congress hard about how such activity was going to kill them.

For their sake, I hope they don't win this time either. :-)

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[yesthatguy]

From a digital movie, it's a much shorter chain to your computer. Basically:
Theater (nearly pristine) Copy --(compression)--> your computer
For analog, you go from the pristine film to a degraded copy that's been shown a few times to a low-quality handheld video camera that's showing the movie being played in the theater, so you get to see shakes, heads, hear tinny mini-mic sounds and such, to a PC via capture card or firewire, to compression, to you.

The quality of a digital bootleg has the potential to be really quite good. If you have the bandwidth to download a few gigs, you could probably get something that's at least VHS quality.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[SETIGuy]

The pirating of "Attack of the Clones" lends fuel to the film industry's efforts in Washington to crack down on piracy. While the studios' trade association steps up its enforcement activities, their lobbyists are pushing for laws that would require computers and consumer electronics to be modified to deter unauthorized copying.

The pirating of trade goods lends fuel to the Trade Federation's effort to crack down of smuggling. While the Trade Federation steps up its blockade of Naboo, their lobbyists are pushing for laws that would reqiuire spacecraft and surface transports be modified such that all occupants are chained to a bulkhead to deter cargo theft.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[Physics Dude]

The whole concept of 'stealing' information is very different than that of stealing a car since no one is deprived in the process. The only valid argument against it, IMHO, is the loss of revenues that would have been provided had the information been 'purchased'. Thus the common 'I wouldn't have bought it anyway'.

Just how far the MPAA/RIAA would go to stop this is debatable. If it were possible, my guess is that they'd want to be paid everytime you thought about a movie/music you saw/heard.

MPAA Personal Account Services: "I'm sorry, but it's been a week since you saw ATOC. Please credit our account for $xxx if you want to preserve your memories of the film."

Joe Consumer: "But I don't have enough money right now..."

MPAA Personal Account Services: "Please stand by while your memory is selectively erased..."

Joe Consumer: "AuGhhhhHHHHhhh....."

MPAA Personal Account Services: "BSOD: Your system has become unstable ..."

Joe Consumer: (drool)

Bootleg already out.

[Tsian]

Ironic that on the day of this posting, days before release, a Telesync release is already out. May the force be with them?

NFO

phantom menace

[antistuff]

I was watching the phantom menace tonight and had this really cool idea of somthing to post for the next star wars story that was sure to get +5 funny but i forgot what it was.

Kinda sucks huh.

recipe for comments in this discussion:

[jdbo]

mix-n-match to your pleasure:

claim to righteousness:

• "I haven't seen it, and..." (modded up as insightful)
• "I have seen it, and..." (lying, modded up as informative)
• "I have seen it, and..." (true, modded down as troll)

claim of truth:

• "...it sucks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it rocks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it sucks and (LOTR/Spider-Man/Matrix) rocks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it rocks and (LOTR/Spider-Man/Matrix) sucks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...[perverse rant about Natalie Portman]..." (continously modded up as interesting and down as troll)
• "...what about the MPAA?..." (modded down as flamebait)
• "...[actual thoughtful review]..." (modded down as redundant)

parting declaration:

• "...Lucas has lost it!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...Lucas is the king!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...the FX are incredible!..." (modded down as redundant)
• "...I've done better FX on my basement 486 using POVRAY..." (modded up as interesting)
• "...it's OK. Go see it if you're interested, ignore it otherwise, and by all means wait for the swarming masses of raving geeks to dissipate..." (ignored by moderators)
• "...[desparate plea for a date with Natalie Portman]..." (modded up as funny)

Re:recipe for comments in this discussion:

[wiredog]

Select "B" from group 1, "G" from group 2, and "E" from gouop =3, and you get this...

Ripoff

[miracle69]

This movie is an obvious ripoff of two highly successful movies from two different eras: Strange Brew and Spiderman

Let's Compare.

Strange Brew : Star Wars EP II
Flying Dog : Flying Green Muppet
Plot to take over world : Plot to take over universe
Evil hockey players : Stormtroopers
Beer is source of power : "Midichlorion" microbrew
Bob and Doug : Obi and Anakin
Based on Hamlet : Based on ancient myths
Max von Sydow : Ian McDiarmid

Clearly, this movie is just a poor-rehash of Strange Brew with one twist - Spiderman special effects and the "spider sense" redone in an effort to trick the viewer into liking this poor-rendition of the greatest movie ever made, Strange Brew.

I don't buy it.

Kooookokokokokokokooooooo!

Re:Ripoff

[Russ Steffen]

Great, thanks. Now I'll never be able to hear the Imperal March again without also hearing Geddy Lee sing "Take Off! To the great white north! Take Off! It's a beauty way to go."

Bastard!

NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[shird]

Anyone else notice the blah/blah and yada/yada login/passwords don't seem to work at New York Times anymore. Perhaps they have noticed the huge number using those accounts and cancelled them. Use this link instead.

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Stormie]

Anyone else notice the blah/blah and yada/yada login/passwords don't seem to work at New York Times anymore.

Well, I created a new account to read this. Username is something like sdkfgdkfs and password is something like pwejorowebn. (email is sdkufgsdf@ksfsdf.com)

If they want another one like that added to their database every time they have a story linked to by Slashdot, they're more than welcome to it.

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[sheriff_p]

mmmhmmm. Because it's linked to from Slashdot, that makes it your property, and you're free to fill up their databases with junk. Ah, the sweet smell of American gratitude.

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Alsee]

you're free to fill up their databases with junk.

EXACTLY!

Some idiot connects his database to the internet and allows full anonymous write privileges of un-verified data. You really expect the result to be a reliable database?

The fact that they are reqesting PERSONAL info makes it laughable.

The fact that they want the info so they can SPAM just makes it.... oh, wait a minute, it's already laughable. This brings it is so far beyond laughable as to be... grotesque.

-

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Hampo]

More likely, some idiot just logged in and changed the password!

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[WEFUNK]

Well, I created a new account to read this. Username is something like sdkfgdkfs and password is something like pwejorowebn. (email is sdkufgsdf@ksfsdf.com)

Maybe this is how "nadine"@honet.com really started (although in that case I think they offered actual personal info as well).

Of course, I'm not judging you, I do the same thing all the time either because I don't want to be spammed or I can't remember whether I've signed up before, can't remember my password, and don't want to be in some database anymore than I need to be. Although I think if you're going use a fake one, the "slashdotuser" type logins at least have the potential to give the NYT an idea of where their traffic was coming from so that they might decide there's enough interest to print more Star Wars articles or editorials on Napster and Linux etc.

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Performer Guy]

Their logs let them know where the originating link is from so they DO KNOW where the traffic is from.

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[McFly777]

Actually this gives ME an idea.

Keep track of spammer and "remove" addresses, and use them when filling in "free reg., email required" forms.

Give both parties a taste of their own medicine.

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Alsee]

Someone leaves her car unlocked at the grocery store, do you really expect it to be there when she gets back?

Answer: No, but I do expect people will think the person who absconded with it is a low-life thief.

No, this person is parking her car so that it blocks the door to the grocery storey and forcing people to crawl through it to get into the store. The car is still there, but people tracked mud and bubblegum all over.

-

Does it really matter how bad the movie is?

[Down With DMCA]

People are going to see the movie no matter what ensuring the MPAA and Valenti and the movie studios have plenty of money to fund the DeCSS case and any other cases that may come up where people with to use technology that the studios don't like.

Re:Does it really matter how bad the movie is?

[ObviousGuy]

Your crusade isn't making a difference.

Re:Spoiler warning!

[ObviousGuy]

Obi-wan and Yoda too!

AOTC

[Anonymous Coward]

Since I have nothing witty to say, I will state for the record that Chewbacca is a better actor than Worf.

Re:AOTC

[Jarvo]

I'll second that.

Although, "Maybe this IS a good day to die... PREPARE FOR RAMMING SPEED!!" was pretty funny.

Re:more positive reviews from overseas, too

[pangloss]

oh look kids, it's a (poorly disguised) goatse.cx link.

Obligatory

[wheany]

So, the MPAA is good this friday? I forgot.

Re:Obligatory

[martyn s]

What would you have us do, boycott popular culture?

Re:Obligatory

[swordgeek]

For my part...

YES DAMMIT!

You can't gut anything that you're supporting and propping up. The MPAA is going to get richer and more powerful, and the price of tickets (and slimy popcorn, and watery pop, and...) for mediocre sequels to mediocre movies is going to go up as long as you happily throw your money and support behind them.

The same with the RIAA. It's time to start a guerrilla war against the media conglamorates. The only way to save culture and freedom is to destroy the pop-culture industry.

Re:Obligatory

[martyn s]

The only thing that's keeping the pop-culture industry so powerful is that the government is allowing them to be since they're getting money for it. I'm still hoping we can fix that.

Re:Doctor Octopus in Spidey II?

[ruiner13]

Now why that post wasn't mod'ed down for being offtopic I'll never know...

Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Infonaut]

I couldn't help but notice how we're all watching like hawks to see how the new Star Wars movie is being reviewed, especially in the context of Slashdotters' comments about bestseller lists.

I wonder what it is that makes us so skeptical of the perceptions of others when it comes to books, but so eager to hear the opinions of others when we're talking about movies.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Malcontent]

The truth of the matter is that it does not matter how good or bad this movie is. The last one sucked massively yet everybody went to see it anyway. Everybody will rush out and see this one too just because it says star wars in the title and geekboys think they will be super cool if they are first in line.

There is a sucker born every minute and two to take him. Lucas knows how to milk the suckers for all they are worth.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[martyn s]

There's a big difference between bestseller lists and reviews. I don't think anyone here has a problem with book reviews, but they still couldn't give a shit that "chicken soup for the soul" or some crap like that is up there on the list.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[stonecypher]

> I wonder what it is that makes us so skeptical
> of the perceptions of others when it comes to
> books, but so eager to hear the opinions of
> others when we're talking about movies.

Oh, because Slashdot reviews highly technical books, where details matter greatly, and looks at highly stupid movies, where if the average Joe had fun, you probably will, too.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Znork]

Nah, last one I saw because I happened to pass by a movie theatre the day after it went up. I figured that well, the last half of return of the jedi stank, but maybe Lucas hadnt gone senile after all.

Of course, he had.

As far as I'm concerned, I've given Starwars a second chance, and unless I get several good reviews from friends I'm not going to bother.

It really is too bad. Starwars had a lot of potential, but overdosing on comic relief characters and fluffy teddybears makes it apparent that Lucas should concentrate on childrens cartoons. Not that that's a bad thing, only Lucas just hasnt got what it takes to make good movies of this calibre anymore. The later films are not epic in any other sense than 'epically embarrasing almost-slapstick comedy'.

I do wonder what exactly it was that destroyed Lucas tho. Was there some specific even in his life that made him lose his touch? Where did things go wrong for him (or 'right')?

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Hampo]

From the NYTimes review:

Given Mr. Lee's long career in horror films, the contest also recalls one of those debates that erupt among third graders about the relative prowess of fictional characters. ("No way could Batman beat up Superman. He doesn't even really have powers." "Yuh-uh, 'cause what if Batman had some Kryptonite?" "Yeah, but neither one of them could beat the Incredible Hulk.") Could Yoda beat up Dracula? Good question. But the more relevant one is whether Anakin Skywalker can beat Spider-Man.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[jwiegley]

Wonder? That's an easy one... Most /.'ers are actualy (gasp) intelligent. We read a lot of books. We learn from past mistakes. TPM was truly a piece of garbage and we're going to be smart and figure out if AOTC is just as bad before deciding to stupily spend nine dollars to see it in the theater or spend ninety-nine hours trying to download a divx version.

Re:Movie reviews and best-seller lists

[Malcontent]

" but overdosing on comic relief characters and fluffy teddybears makes it apparent that Lucas should concentrate on childrens cartoons"

In a very real sense that's what these movies are children's cartoons. There is no evidence of any adult level interaction between any of the characters. Not even a kiss.

nice review, new york times....

[transiit]

I'm reminded of a Bloom County strip I read many years back where a film review was being written down at ye olde Bloom Picayune: "It did for cinema what Jonestown did for Kool-Aid".

Sometimes the reviewers are on to something, sometimes they just sound like elitist pricks. As I recall, Siskel & Ebert gave "The Usual Suspects" two thumbs down, which remains one of my favorite movies to date. I've plans to see this one, but I'm not sure I have the interest to go out of my way to see it opening night. I'm even busy enough with the approaching finals that I'd probably miss any lone-gunmen-are-dead reviews around these parts

-transiit

Re:nice review, new york times....

[rosewood]

The lone gunmen are Dead? I have the last 2 years of X File Tivo'd and you just rui...

ah fuck it, never mind

Re:nice review, new york times....

[MtViewGuy]

That's why I tend to avoid the reviews from the New York Times, both Chicago newspapers, and the Los Angeles Times. The reviews often have a snooty attitude that ends up turning off readers of their reviews and then some.

I'll never forget the sniping back and forth between James Cameron and LA Times movie critic Kenneth Turan over Titanic. Or how about The Sound of Music being heavily panned during its initial release in 1965?

Reviewers often nowadays are missing the point of why a movie was made a certain way, especially those aimed for summer release.

Re:nice review, new york times....

[JosefK]

You want a snooty movie critic? Try Duncan Shepherd of the San Diego Reader:

http://www.sdreader.com/ed/mv/movies.html

Read his most recent reviews of Cat's Meow, Hollywood Ending and Spider-Man here:

http://www.sdreader.com/ed/mv/shepherd/SHEPHERD. HT M

All those other guys are puff-ball populists compared to Shepherd.

**Whaooomph!**

[n4zgl]

that was the sound of the LotR gauntlet landing

This movie had to be better. Watching the 'love' version preview in theatres playing Fellowship of the Rings gave you a feeling similar to watching the kid next door show of his supermario brothers LCD two days after you got a C64...

I am glad to hear Lucas and Co have pulled it off. Bring on the talent!

Re:**Whaooomph!**

[the grace of R'hllor]

*cough*

Fail to understand difference between 'trailer' and 'movie', do you.

Please note that trailer material is hand picked to show you the *best* of the movie. Whether AotC can 'beat' LotR remains to be seen, though I highly doubt it.

Re:Digital?

[th'FOOL]

go to theforce.net - they have a listing

Why is George Lucas so Greedy?

[Kreylix]

Why must he make movies to sell toys, rather than make great movies?

Is he obsessed with selling more toys than McDonalds (the world's #1 toy-seller)?

If not, what is up?

And Star Wars fans, how can you still support this when every new movie is more disappointing than the last one? Yeah, the visuals get better and better. But the story gets dumber and dumber.

How much Star Wars merchandise can you fit in your closets? Just where the hell are you warehousing this stuff?

Re:Why is George Lucas so Greedy?

[malducin]

Well for one thing he is really an independent (the richest one though). Remember he basicly quit the Directors Guild after Star Wars, though I think he rejoined before starting Phantom Menace because of requirements. For him the merchandise is another way of funding his other ventures, since he owns the rights to Star Wars (bought them way back). As he stated in that lame CNN - Connie Chung interview, he doesn't have to go through crap like screening his films through test groups, studio meddling with content and editing etc.

If there is demand he has the supply. Maybe some fans don't find the stuff as disappointing as you. For the record nowadays I just get a few items. It's your choice what to buy and how much.

Re:I DOWNLOADED THE MOVIE

[ObviousGuy]

As Luke Skywalker hasn't even been introduced in AotC, a true spoiler would be that Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.

Whoops! Did I let that gem out prematurely?

Britney?

[Ogerman]

Is it just my imagination or is queen Amidala dressed almost precisely like Britney Spears in that one scene? Tight vinyl pants and top, belly showing, etc. Except it's a white outfit instead of red.. How lame can you get? Lucas has definitely sold out to corporate America. Sad really..

Re:Britney?

[Cancer_Nick]

Well, what would you rather she wore?

Re:Britney?

[delong]

Hey genius...

Lucas IS CORPORATE AMERICA.

Woof.

Derek

Re:Britney?

[blankmange]

not necessarily Britney, but just about any teenager (or those who can't let go of those years) in the US.... although Britney and her PR machine will probably thank you for equating the two...

Re:Britney?

[b30w0lf]

Ever take a look at what Leia is wearing in RTOJ? It's nothing new.

Ever compare styles of the period when SW Ep. IV,V&VI were released to the movies? I think you'd find they're not far off. Styles of the present day apeal to the audience. They can relate to them.

As for girls showing skin. It's sexy, it's sci-fi, and it's also nothing new (and yes, it does sell). If showing skin is selling out, that happened for Lucas a long time ago.

Re:Britney?

[sharkey]

Well, what would you rather she wore?

Less. A lot less.

Re:Britney?

[PCM2]

Is it just my imagination or is queen Amidala dressed almost precisely like Britney Spears in that one scene? Tight vinyl pants and top, belly showing, etc. Except it's a white outfit instead of red.. How lame can you get? Lucas has definitely sold out to corporate America. Sad really..

You would have preferred her naked and petrified, perhaps?

Stephen Spielberg's comments

[antdude]

Link: "I saw CLONES two weeks ago up at George's. For the record, of all the STAR WARS they've made, this is my second favorite just ehind EMPIRE," Spielberg told us. "It was great. The action scenes looked like George had been inspired by James Cameron because they were as good as any of the action scenes in T2, and I think George did his best directing with this one too."

Well, it should be better than The Phantom Menace (episode 1) then. :)

random login gateway link

[majcher]

http://www.majcher.com/nytview.html?url=http://www . ytimes.com/2002/05/10/movies/10STAR.html&submit

Generates a random login every time and jumps to the page ... until they change the registration format again, that is...

Re:random login gateway link

[sheriff_p]

I'd hate to come across as all RIAA here, but, they provide you with free content. It's not a right it's a privilege. So stop abusing the fuck out of it, register once, and stop biting the hand that feeds you, retard.

Re:random login gateway link

[Kierthos]

I hate to come across as a logical person, but if it's free content, why does it matter if we do or don't register? It's free... they're obviously not losing money on the deal, and hey, we get to avoid some spam.

Kierthos

Re:random login gateway link

[Alsee]

they provide you with free content. It's not a right it's a privilege. So stop abusing the fuck out of it

Oh, let me guess. You also expect us to enter vaid address, birthday, occupation, and salary data?

LMAO. They're *LUCKY* if I enter a valid gender half the time!

-

Re:random login gateway link

[Puk]

There's a flaw in this logic. Just because it's free to you doesn't mean it's free to them. On top of that, it's not really free to you -- the cost is your info (which has value for statistical/marketing purposes). Just because you don't pay case doesn't mean it's free.

If they truly send you "spam"/marketing info from partners/subscription offers (which some percentage of people -- not necessarily you -- will take), and you don't register, you are using their services (which cost them money) without letting them earn any back.

Note that I'm just arguing the logic, not the morality of using their services without registering. That said, I generally do not read NYT online articles because I don't want to give them my info, and I'm too lazy to use the workarounds. :)

-Puk

Re:random login gateway link

[phong3d]

I have a NYT login set to a spam trap email at my domain. I opted out of any "business partner" affiliations or the like, and answered all their questions. I've had it for around two years and I haven't recieved a single piece of spam from them. YMMV, of course, but I'm impressed so far.

Re:random login gateway link

[datastew]

In true hacker spirit, it looks like this is also a "random karma generator."

Re:random login gateway link

[Prior Restraint]

They're *LUCKY* if I enter a valid gender half the time!

Actually, wouldn't getting the gender right half the time be statistically average? I would take lucky to mean it's right most of the time.

Spoilers

[kraf]

I've been quite spoiled for this movie, reading the script and spy reports, downloading the pics etc.
It can be quite frustrating to know that a couple of my favourite scenes has been cut from the final, so I'm staying spolier free for EPIII.

Re:Spoilers

[ObviousGuy]

Anakin (Darth Vader) fathers a couple kids who are whisked away at birth to the farthest reaches of the galaxy in order to protect them from him. One ends up the Princess of Alderan (a peaceful planet allied with the Rebellion), the other a farmboy on Tatooine.

Anakin loses many bodyparts which are replaced with bionic devices, making him more machine than man.

Re:Spoilers

[Tattva]

Anakin loses many bodyparts which are replaced with bionic devices, making him more machine than man.

Twisted and Evil, too.

And don't forget my review at Bureau 42

[Dram]

You can read it here. This movie was SO much better than Ep. 1, it was unbelievable. I even thought it was better than Spider-Man. I plan to go see it again on opening day, if nothing else for the Matrix trailer.

Re:$100 says...

[droopus]

A) The RIAA represents music labels not movie studios. That's the MPAA. B)

B) The two copies out are both pretty bad: one a cam and one a Telesync. Neither are screeners.

C) I got it, I watched it, but I'll still go see it at the cinema. Having the film early didn't do anything to change my desire to experience it in a theater, but once the DVDIVX comes out, no.. I won't buy the DVD and neither will about a half a million other people. They aren't worried about some crappy cam cutting into home video sales: they are worried about the super high quality High Def rips and DVDIVX encodes that are perfectly fine substitutes for DVDs for most people.

It'll still sell but anyone who doesn't think filesharing isn't the death of the music and (eventually) film businesses might do well to study the 1940's business models of the studios and labels, and realize...they're fucked.

3 out of 4 music business employees will be out of work in five years. Remember where you heard it.

Lacquer and celluloid business models don't do well against silicon and glass fiber.

The dread disease Midichlorian-itis!

[Spirit of Vengeance]

Midichlorian-itis predicted in record numbers!

Thats right, the dread disease Midichlorian-itis will once again make itself known in a mere 6 days!

Symptoms include but not limited to:

Hyper tension
High blood pressure
Trembling muscles and nervous twitches
Cold Sweat
High anxiety (generally manifest in high piched voice with constant arm waving and muttering "Oh my! We're doomed!"
Loss of appetite followed by craving for popcorn
Red and black markings on the patients head and body along with yellow horns protruding from the head.
Breathing problems, (the most common manifestion is when the patient breathes deeply on a regular basis)
Craving for roasted Ewok
Desire to skip work or school
Hallucinations of an army of Jar Jar Clones! (Warning! this symptom is indicative of an impending psychotic episode! Consult your Doctor right way! Failure to receive treatment on time can result in being carbon frozen!)

On May 16th please report to your local movie theatre, where for (insert ticket price here) you can receive your annual innoculation for the next 3 years.

If after the over 2 hour innoculation procedure is not enough, you can spend more $$ to repeat the dosage or else swing over to another part of the theatre for an arachnid booster shot

This public service message brought to you by Coruscant Medical Institute, the Friendly Family Doctors!

Re:The dread disease Midichlorian-itis!

[jimmcq]

I think you'll pleased to find not a single mention of Midichlorians in Attack of the Clones.

Re:I DOWNLOADED THE MOVIE

[Anonymous Coward]

You are mistaken. This episode reveals that Luke's father is actually Jar-Jar.

Re:Digital?

[GutBomb]

Irvine Spectrum and some no name theatre in burbank.

The movie is wicked

[fluor2]

I watched the TeleSync and it's a wicked movie. I recommend it.

Positive reviews ..

[stevey]

Strangely I seem to remember lots of positive 'reviews' floating around at the time of The Phantom Menace's release.

I hated the film; so I'm not going to rush to see this one. (I am going to be seeing The Queen of The Damned soon though ;)

Re:Positive reviews ..

[TomHandy]

Somehow I find this funny.....people making these posts as if it was a point of pride for them that they are not going to see some particular movie because they are apparently "above" it or whatever, and then making a statement about some godawful movie that they ARE going to see (i.e. "Queen of the Damned") without realizing that the movie they plan on seeing instead is so much worse than whatever they are avoiding.

Re:Positive reviews ..

[stevey]

haha

The point I was trying to make is that thre is usually some good reviews around for all films which come out .. regardless of their quality.

(The line about the Queen of the Damned was a tounge-in-cheek reference to this; the reviews say it blows, but I liked the books and my sister who has seen it said 'yeah it wasn't great, but there were lots of cute goth girls in it'. Sounds ideal to me ;)

Re:Pirate scum

[warmcat]

Hm. 99% of your 'support' is going in the pockets of the media companies which market the product you are interested in, not the artists.

Ultimately people resort to unauthorized copying because of arbitrary restrictions made in the interest of the copyright owner (for movies, in availability in the different media over time) or pricing (eg, music, tickets & food with cinemas) which they perceive as unfair. Many people are willing to trade off media quality against beating these restrictions. It will never go away.

I find it hard to get worked up about ''there not being enough money for an episode 3'' when the SW franchise has brought in billions of dollars and my kids are being continually marketed to by companies that are not satisfied with making their money through the films alone, but want to sell fecal-burgers and toys on the back of kid-friendly characters.

Anyhow, best of luck pouring your money into these huge corporate beasts so your conscience doesn't make you feel bad.

Attack of the PC Clones

[Tuqui]

Is this a story of the evil empire that begin to embrace the universe...?
There have nothing to do with the real world...

Re:Pirate scum

[Kierthos]

Oddly enough, several people I know who dl movies also go out and buy the DVDs or VHS tapes. They dl it see if it is any good, and if it is, they buy a copy of their very own.

Considering that for a lot of the films they want, they can't find at Blockbuster, I don't blame them for wanting to make sure a movie is worth it before plunking down $25 or more.

Kierthos

Who wants any surprises?

[starX]

The guy at the NYTimes seems to have this strange notion that Star Wars fans don't already know the essentials of the plot, and could actually be surprised by this movie. Really, with an established timeline before and after this movie, how much possibility for surprise can there possibly be, but then again, I for one don't want to be surprised, I want Star Wars.

In the grand scheme of things, Star Wars is not, nor should it be high art. George Lucas is a cinematographic genius, but he is no Bergman, Hitchcock, or Lang. What most people don't seem to catch is that he never pretends to be. He has said in numerous interviews that Star Wars is based on the old movie serials from his youth, and those are inherently melodramatic, bombastic, and completely archetypal battles between good and evil. Is there ever any doubt in are minds that Darth Vader is evil incarnate? No, not until Lucas started listening to his critics with Jedi.

Stars Wars never pretends to be high art, but perhaps something so simple, and yet so appealing is more than high art. Let us not fool ourselves, The Illiad and Beowulf were so popular in their times because they are entertaining; we still read them today because they are inherently good stories. Star Wars is a good story, and no matter what the agenda of the reviewer, or what marketting deals have already been made, Lucas will never let it be otherwise.

Short version: NYTimes reviewer has missed the point by a few parsecs.

Re:Who wants any surprises?

[Spencerian]

Hear, hear!

If you want art, go to the freakin' Googenheim. If you want something to talk about (that's usually fun) go see Star Wars--any one of them.

Even "Phantom Menace" is enjoyable compared to pieces of celluoid like "Mullholland Drive." It wasn't a bad movie, but then I don't want to have to read Cliff's Notes before seeing it.

Honestly, I still see the saber duel in TFM as Pretty Damned Cool.

Re:Who wants any surprises?

[mpwoodward]

I disagree with the notion that Lucas was "responding to critics" in Jedi when he redeemed Vader. Myths, specifically the ones on which SW is based (don't even get me started on the SW/Wagner Ring Cycle comparisons), are FULL of redemption stories just as this. You seem to claim he read Entertainment Weekly, wherein some idiot reviewer wrote, "Does Vader have to be quite so evil?" and Lucas susbsequently re-wrote Jedi based on that, which I absolutely don't buy.

Re:Who wants any surprises?

[RAVasquez]

I for one don't want to be surprised, I want Star Wars.

That may explain why some of the reviews I've seen so far comment on how dutiful and exposition-bound AotC feels -- as if its only purpose is to follow the familiar Anakin-turns-to-the-dark-side thread with just as much fleshing out as needed to fill out two hours.

Speaking as a non-Star Wars fan, I don't care how well Episode II advances the mythos. I want to know if the movie is any fun. Phantom Menace wasn't much fun, and despite Lucas's fondness for those classic serials, it remained hidebound in its mock-seriousness. It was too pretentious to be a classic popcorn movie, and its story was too uninvolving to be engaging.

I'm not saying that George Lucas has to direct Seven Samurai (a great action movie, btw). But just because it's a "simple" action movie doesn't mean it can't be high art as well -- look at Raiders of the Lost Ark, or even The Empire Strikes Back. I certainly don't agree that Attack of the Clones must be judged by a lower standard just because it aims low.

Movie Revie wQuery Engine

[MrSkunk]

Check out this link [mrqe.com]. mrqe.com posts links to almost every review you can find for a movie on the internet. It is a very good site for getting diverse opinions of a movie.

SPOILER!!!

[phunhippy]

Great ruin it for me!! Now i know there are Jedi's in episode 2!!! thanks guys!!!

Strange Brew

[wiredog]

"Don't touch that, you could get electrocuted"

"Listen to my brother, he's installed lots of car stereos."

Reviewers Aren't Consistent - Ebert on Episode 2

[TomHandy]

First, keep in mind Ebert's review of Episode 1, which he gave 3 and a half stars (out of four): http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1999/0 5/051701.html Now, check out his current review of Episode 2, which he gives 2 stars: http://www.suntimes.com/output/ebert1/cst-ftr-eber t10.html I haven't seen Episode 2 yet, but it makes me think that reviewers just aren't consistent. The things he criticizes episode 2 for are things he seems to have ignored with episode 1. He also spends a lot of time complaining that seeing the version on film (as opposed to one of the few digital projection theatres or on DVD) did not help. Normally I like Ebert, but I didn't think this review was very good. He seemed to be going through the motions, and didn't go into the awesome amount of detail he normally does when reviewing these kinds of movies (the other 4 star wars movies, the 3 Indiana Jones movies, etc.). -Tom

Naboo Gets What it Deserves!

[dbretton]

What kind of damn stupid crack-heads elect a 12 year old as queen, anyway?

For that matter, what society elects a Queen??!?

Erm, excuse me but

[Snaller]

Dork King writes "The New York Time's Review of AOTC (free reg, yada yada)

Shouldn't that be "free req, Yoda Yoda" ?

;)

Summary

[The Asmodeus]

Everyone is going to have their own bias and take on this. Which is why I try and get the summary from Rotten Tomatoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/StarWarsEpisodeII AttackoftheClones-1112314/).

They have it as a 58% right now which means basically that it sucks but a some will like it for whatever reason.

What they're saying in a 2-star review

[buckeyeguy]

For those of you who love spoilers, here's one that probably isn't listed on rottentomatoes (which I often consult as my first reference for a movie)... The Other Paper's 2-Star Review of AOTC

The link will be good for about 5 days, which is about as much as the review is worth... this rag's reviewers have what I call 'inverse value': when they give it 1 star, assume it's a 5, and vice versa. So AOTC must be a 4 ;)

The dwindling value of movie reviewers

[buckeyeguy]

Roger Ebert has been near worthless since Siskel passed away... I swear, his reviews are so random anymore that his attitude must stem from whether he had a tough grunt on the can that morning...

Even Leonard Maltin has lost me; I used to buy his movie guides every few years, but now I don't bother. Guess I never forgave him for giving Blade Runner one and a half stars.

Anymore, I just go to rottentomatoes, or the Slashdot-linked Filthy Critic, and check out the movie from there.

Take Critics Reviews with a Grain of Salt

[Spencerian]

It should be noted that:

1) Most critics from popular mags like Entertainment Weekly probably weren't even BORN when the original Star Wars movie showed up.

2) Those same critics (whose reviews I've read a lot of) seem to believe that "Star Wars" should be always upbeat. It's quite the opposite for the Episodes 1-3. All the Jedi are going to DIE and Anakin's going to be the one to kill them (mostly). Nothing upbeat there. For upbeat, see Episodes 4-6.

It's still a story. Lucas just ingratiated us with more explosions. Makes sense--when Yoda has to open up a can of whoopass in a SW movie, you KNOW things are getting bad for the good guys.

Pirated Edition on the Web

[Alien54]

I noted this morning that Radio Free Nation has a item on how the pirated edition of the film has made it to the web.

This is sure to open a can of worms.

Of course it got pirated so quickly because it is huge, but you know this will feed arguments in other forums.

Ditiful vs Excited

[GS11_Pus]

"Even the true believers camped out on the sidewalks with their toy light sabers seem more dutiful than enthusiastic." -- A. O. SCOTT, NY Times Review

That pretty much sums up how I feel. I have watched the first trilogy many times, and each time I find new appreciation for those movies. Every time I watch TPM I find it more annoying/frustrating/disgusting.

I think the dynamic between the characters in the first trilogy are well represented by this exchange between Leia and Han:

Leia: I'd rather kiss a wookie.
Han : That can be arranged... you could use a good kiss!

Dialogue like that just doesn't appear anywhere in TPM. I have yet to read a review that talks about how witty the dialogue is in AOTC, just that the fight scenes are cool.

Back to the point, I'm going to go see AOTC, but I'm not "excited" about it. I wouldn't be so silly as to say it's my "duty", but I understand the reference the author makes. It's much closer to describing how I feel.

How does everyone else feel?

spoiler

[TheWickedKingJeremy]

*SPOILER

- Padme engages in a threeway with a Gungan and a droid

- One of the three is a "screamer" in the sac - (hint, its not Padme or the Gungan)

Im disturbed...

[Shant3030]

"Jar Jar Binks, the notorious duck-billed racial caricature from "The Phantom Menace" ....you may now call him Senator Binks."

First Hillary Clinton becomes a Senator, now Jar-Jar Binks... I'm moving to Canada...

I think it's highly ironic...

[Lethyos]

...that no where in any of the StarWars movies does there appear a "marketing droid." You would think that such a character would be central to the plot-line. Perhaps it would be responsible for helping fund the Rebel Alliance...

Critics get paid to poo poo

[catdevnull]

I forget who said this, but it's good: "Critics are to the arts what pigeons are to statues." caveat emptor!

Hulk movie too...

[DuckWing]

Not only is the next Spider-Man (which was a great movie IMHO) in May 2004, but the release of the Hulk will be Summer 2003!

Re:Hulk movie too...

[swordgeek]

Ye Gods!!!

Sequels and comics. Comics and sequels. Can't anyone think up an original movie, just once?

Look at the Sci-fi/action stuff we've had lately or are getting soon: Spiderman (and sequel), the Hulk, Star Wars (episodes 2,3,7,8, and 9!), X-men (and sequel), etc. etc. etc.

The Matrix was actually a good and original movie, amazingly. They could have spent more time on the social aspects and ramifications instead of BIGGER GUNS, but that wouldn't be a box-office smash of course. However like all other franchises, once you hit paydirt you run it into the ground. The Matrix II is coming soon (as is MiB 2), and you can be sure that they'll keep grinding out sequels of sequels of sequels until people stop paying obscene amounts of money to see them.

It would be nice if someone came up with a good movie. A neat, well crafted, original, and complete movie. Unfortunately, it ain't gonna happen.

All I can say is...

[gamgee5273]

I actually like TPM - but I'm the type of guy who can watch a flick from the eyes of a four-year-old and not a 29-year-old and, from my four-year-old eyes, TPM was pretty cool.

As for AOTC: It's gotta be better than ROTJ. My personal ranking is this (based on the originals of each flick, not any special editions):

1. ESB
2. ANH
3. TPM
4. ROTJ

I give ROTJ SE and TPM a tie at 3 because the SE ending is so much better than the original...

I predict that AOTC will go to 2 or 3 on my personal list. I'll see at 12:01am next Thursday...

Re:$100 says...

[thogard]

Where did you get your 3 out of 4 numbers? Of the 3000 bands in my town, most of the better paid only take in about $250 a week. I suspect thats its more like 14000 out of 15000 music professionals are already out of work.

Do reviews get people to go to movies?

[thogard]

When was the last time you saw a review that changed your mind about going to go see a movie? I heard Star Wars 4 sucked so I didn't pay the AU$15 to see it knowing it would show up on the cable tv some time. It was a good decisions but it was more based on the start wars 1 directors recut that sucked so bad and not so much on reviews. I decied to see FotR becuase of some of the ads and things I had heard about how they put it together. The only review that got me into a movie was CAP's review of the South Park movie.

ok, so wtf?

[Ender Ryan]

"Apparently it's a version videotaped in the theater, which they're worried will cut into DVD sales (?)"

Ok, so some jackass taped the movie in the theater and distrubuted it on the net? What would the film industry propose legislators do to stop this? Completely ban all video playing/recording software that can play non-DRMed video?

Wouldn't that require that PCs basically become set-top boxes? Wouldn't that damage the computer industry more than the entire film industry is worth?

See, the #1 thing the computer industry has going for it with regards to fighting this type of legislation is that it is worth far, far more than the entire film industry. But when senators and congress-critters are in the pockets of media companies, they throw the economy out the window to line thier own pockets with dirty money from Hollywood.

In my humble opinion, that is such a great betrayal of the public trust as to be worthy of death. Think about it, legislators knowingly damaging the economy to line their own pockets. That, to some degree at least, puts people out on the street, broke, without healthcare, etc.

necessary disclaimer: when I say "worthy of death", I don't mean they should be killed, I'm strongly against the death penalty. I simply mean that thier life is worth nothing to the world, and in fact the world would be a better place without them.

Best comment in NYTimes review

[peter303]

"Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones" is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). It has many violent scenes, none of them terribly upsetting or, for that matter, interesting.

Sorry, friend...

[robson]

...but sex appeal was around long before corporate America.

Man, is this guy bitter or what?

[SamTheButcher]

Sounds like his friends never let him be Luke when they played as kids.

I feel like I'm kinda out of SW now. I liked TPM fine, AotC has a stupid name, but that's never been a huge movie criteria for me either. I dont know if it's because I've read too many reviews/spoilers or what, but I'm not quite as jazzed.

Of course, it could be that I just saw Spider-man and LOVED it and can't wait for the sequels....

Re:Doctor Octopus in Spidey II?

[DevNull Ogre]

Because the story included this...

Also, for those who have lost all hope for Star Wars, I submit to you the date of the Spider-Man sequel: May 7th, 2004.

Stepin Fetchit

[gravelpup]

Is it possible to write a Star Wars review without comparing Jar Jar to Stepin Fetchit? Who is this guy, anyway?

Star Wars prequels and Quake similarity

[Spooticus]

It just occurred to me that these Star Wars prequels and the Quake series so far have something interesting in common: They're both essentially technology demos lacking significant dramatic depth.

Consider:

Lucasfilm is pioneering new ways to make films digitaly, and new ways to view them digitally. They're also setting trends in computer generated actors. You better believe they're planning to use this technology for making non-Lucas movies.

Quake constantly sets the benchmark in 3D graphics engine technology. They throw together an admittedly fun, if shallow, game release it, then license it like crazy to developers who actually make more dramatic games.

So I expect Episode 2 to be fun, but I'm not going to expect a lot of drama that makes me leave the theater thinking.

Repeat business

[epepke]

I saw TPM in the theater once.

I saw the original release of Star Wars seven times. I saw the first re-release two times. After that, I lost count.

Star Wars has been successful because it has included the kind of movie that people will go back to see several times on the big screen. Getting away from this is a big mistake.

One important point

[bogie]

THERE ARE STILL TWO MORE LOTR MOVIES COMING OUT!!!!

so if AOTC sucks....meh whatever I wasn't expecting much anyway.

FilmThreat

[bonch]

It's like you paraphrased FilmThreat's review.

Death of studios != dearth of art content

[OmniGeek]

I guess the title says it most succinctly. Yes, many of the MPAA/RIAA members may tank as time goes on, but I seriously doubt that the world will be less rich in art/film/music for their passing. The artists surely won't suffer on the whole, 99% get cheated by the pimps^H^H^H^H^Hstudios as things are. In any case, there's not one thing the XXAA can do to stop the process -- except to adapt to a bits-are-essentially-free world. Some will survive, I'm sure.

Another poster wonders whether the XXAA want PCs to be merely set-top boxes: the answer is clearly and explicitly "Yes, they do." These mugs are very threatened by the general-purpoose PC and the distributed power the 'Net creates. Too bad for them...

OT: "War On Terror Not Over Yet" Emperor Declares

[Namarrgon]

CORUSCANT -- Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging, the War on Terror is not over yet."

"We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured."

It was one year ago today that the Death Star, perhaps the greatest symbol of the Empire's might, was destroyed in an attack by fanatic Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to infiltrate seemingly impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on hand to remember and pay tribute to the victims and their families.

"We lost our innocence that day," reflected one mourner. "I guess we thought we were immune from the kind of violence that happens in other galaxies. We were wrong." "I lost hundreds of buddies that day," said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper. "Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place."

Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels. In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the planet Hoth. "We're not sure we got them all," says a Vader spokesman. "There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we've delivered a powerful blow to the terrorist's infrastructure, that's for sure. Today, the Empire has struck back."

Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero among the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the Death Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet Tattooine, became a part of the Rebellion after family members were killed. Skywalker was trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as "Jedi Knights." Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights claim to derive their power from the mystical "Force."

It's believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called "Ben" and easily recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes, achieved near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year during a spy mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wan Kenobi lives on within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during times of duress.

The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire's destruction of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists. Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader stated, "There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who harbor terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample warning. The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible cost."

The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing efforts to build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding animosities among the planets various ethnic groups, including the Jawas, Tusken Raiders and scattered human settlers, have been an impediment to the peace process. The Empire continues to maintain a small peace keeping force until a provisional government is finally in place.

Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their lack of a central organizing structure. "They don't play by the traditional rules of war," complained one spokesman. "They come in all shapes and sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy the Empire before it destroys them."

The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that "the cowardly attack on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we will not stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to justice." He paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then added with determination, "We will never forget."

"I wish we could all just get along," said one of the mourners. "But it's hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose main tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side." (OK, it's old. So sue me.)

Lucky Slashdotter.

[DA_MAN_DA_MYTH]

I have a connection that works at Fox and often I get to go to premeires or media screenings, so when I was offered to see AOTC a week and half before everyone else I leapt at the chance. The only problem was I sat next to a newspaper movie critic who wouldn't shut up. I came this close to crushing his larynx while quoting, "A find your lack a faith disturbing."

Not giving anything away, it is awesome. There are more lightsabers in this movie that you can shake a errr... lightsaber at. The problem I can forsee that people would have is the acceptance of Anakin being Anakin. Well nobody really liked the first kid so why should we like the second. They are probably going to be some complaints about this movie, but I didn't have any. AOTC definetly has the best land war of any of the Star Wars movies including EOB. Anyway great movie, I just wonder if it would be any better seeing it in one of the digital theatres.

Re:$100 says...

[newtronx]

droopus: how did you get a TS of Star Wars when it isn't officially released? Team FTFVCD only released the CAM version - there is no Telesync. Offical word for ISO/VCD, etc releases is www.isonews.com - if it is not there, it has not been released. Oh, and DIVX cannot compare to SVCD quality (for those that do not know, basically half bitrate DVD). DIVX has never been the best format, but I agree, for most users it is just fine. I would recomment you try getting a DVD player so you can play your illegal movies on something other than a monitor.

by the way..

[antonsthlm]

.. is there no one but me who believes this pic in the corner is very much alike scat dog porn? Or perhaps urinating dog. Shame on you lucas. You nasty boy.

Re:Except

[Alsee]

That despite giving a valid email address to the NYT I've never once received any spam from them. Amazing that.

NYT is too smart to sully their image sending you spam directly. That's what affiliates are for.

My review (no unmarked spoilers)

[Dr. Spork]

I was trying to sum up for my curious friends my overall impression of AOTC and I think I finally said this: Lucas obviously spent a lot of money, but not a lot of thought on this movie. In some scenes I remember my eyes were involuntarily rolling so much that I thought I might really hurt myself.

The plot was actually quite dumb, on par with recent films starring The Rock. Of course, those movies don't have the hubris to try doing romantic dialogue. AOTC tried, and it was absolutely terrible. Actually, let's face it: Lucas sucks at dialogue. The characters get about as much development as is necessary in a tale aimed at 6-year olds. Everybody is a total cliche. But of course, we're used to that from Lucas. I think he would say that everybody is an archetype--which is Jungian mumbo-jumbo for "stereotype."

Many wondered how the fact Darth Vader's rising up against the Emperor and revealing himself as Anakin Skywalker (ep6) suddenly made him a good guy, though he was directly responsible for the death of thousands of innocent people. Those of us who thought "Huh? Isn't a repentant war criminal still a war criminal?" will be saying "Huh?" many more times during this movie.

spoiler--can't resist:

&nbsp

One example: It's only after Senator Brunette-Britney, who is supposed to be righteous, finds out that her suitor killed a whole village of innocent children that she decides she really loves him. Maybe if he also killed their dogs, he'd get a blow job. Or something.