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"Sex Education" For Pandas

Posted by timothy on from the something-to-moan-about dept.

ahertz writes: "If only it were this easy for geeks! CNN is reporting that officials at the China Giant Panda Breeding Center in Woolong, China are showing... err... panda pr0n to increase the sex drive of captive pandas. The program is apparently quite effective, as birth rates have risen dramatically."

39 comments

  1. It IS that easy... by Jester998 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    We watch pr0n all the time, and I'm sure our sex drive is quite high.

    Of course, the problem with US is the opposite sex... it's nothin' to do with how horny we are. :)

    - Jester

    1. Re:It IS that easy... by trixillion · · Score: 2, Funny

      The problem with the opposite sex is they aren't yet aware of this study which shows semen intake makes girls happier. Finally the proof we've all been waiting for.

  2. A better report than the CNN one... by zulux · · Score: 5, Funny

    http://www.seanbaby.com/news/pandaporn.htm

    Maby not more informative, but a hell of a lot funnier.

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  3. Can the pun police arrest this guy? by sclatter · · Score: 3, Funny

    While it is not clear how far the "sex education lesson" goes into the finer details of the art of love-making, this X-rated scene is being repeated across China to pander to their basic instincts.

    No, no, no pandering to pandas!

  4. panda porn by brejc8 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mechanic panda: Dein bamboo air condition machine ist nit operational?
    Girl Panda 1: Ja es ist soo hot.
    Girl Panda 2: Dein mastash ist so grose
    [Break into wukacha guitar music]

    --
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  5. Eureka! by SuperguyA1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That explains the sudden spike in traffic to alt.sex.binaries.bears.pandas I was worried for a minute.

    --
    "as plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee" - Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. (One man's humorous is another mans flamebait)
  6. Animals can see TV? by TRACK-YOUR-POSITION · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Hmm. I would have thought that animals might have problems seeing human TV. We've selected Red, Green, and Blue as ideal TV colors because those are the three kinds of, um, eye-thingies we have. In our eyes. You know.

    I would have expected animals to see the colors of TV screens as completely different from the ways we see them. Do pandas have the same color perception humans do, or do they just have the ability to perceive mis-colored pandas as still being panda (and therefore sexy...)

    1. Re:Animals can see TV? by brejc8 · · Score: 2

      Im not sure if they do but I do know that cats and many other animals can comprehend 2d images. They just look like moving pictures reather than representations of 3d scenes.

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    2. Re:Animals can see TV? by karnal · · Score: 2

      *digging out what I learned a long long time ago* -- aren't they cones and rods? Now, I forget which does what, but our eyes are definitely more sensitive to black and white as opposed to color.... but I don't think red,green, and blue were selected primarily for our eyes.

      It has to do with primary colors, and how they mix together. With the three primary colors, you should be able to make any other color, with the right mix.

      --
      Karnal
    3. Re:Animals can see TV? by qqtortqq · · Score: 1

      Red green and blue were selected because they are the primary colors. Those colors can be combined to make any other color.

    4. Re:Animals can see TV? by Sloppy · · Score: 2, Informative

      My cat absolutely, positively can recognize a crippled bird walking on the ground, displayed on TV. His behavior goes straight from bored-and-sleepy to intensely-interested-in-TV.

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    5. Re:Animals can see TV? by TRACK-YOUR-POSITION · · Score: 2

      Amusing and cute, but could you cat still recognize it if it were in black and white? Or if you mess up the hue/color settings?

    6. Re:Animals can see TV? by TRACK-YOUR-POSITION · · Score: 3, Insightful
      Searching the internet, I found a computer graphics lecture about color spaces that explains what I'm talking about, sort of. Combing low and high frequency waves does not give you a medium frequency wave, but it might give you light with the same color as medium frequency light. No doubt we knew of the primary colors before we knew of rods and cones, but those colors merely appear to be primary because they are the ones are rods and cones are sensitive to.

      The part of the lecture that applies to my question is the part where different spectral energy distributions produce the same color--which opens the possibility that non-human could percieve two lights that humans believe are the same color as two different colors.

      I recall sometime ago an article linked to from slashdot suggesting it may be possible some women have a fourth primary color in their eyes. Certainly it's not difficult to imagine some animals are more sensitive to infra-red ultra-violet lights than humans--in which case the light shown by our visible light tv's would certainly look different than the light an animal would see in the real world.

      Wait a minute, I'm an idiot. Obviously color has nothing to do with animals and humans detecting black vs. white things. AND PANDAS ARE BLACK AND WHITE!! Therefore, of course color is not needed in these sex education films...

      Then again, if Panda color perception is different from human color perception, maybe pandas don't see themselves as black and white...

    7. Re:Animals can see TV? by TRACK-YOUR-POSITION · · Score: 2

      They can make any other color in the visible light spectum as described by humans. If our eyes detected red, green, and infrared instead, the spectrum we call "visible light" would be different. And we'd need different televisions.

    8. Re:Animals can see TV? by trixillion · · Score: 1

      Wait a minute, I'm an idiot. Obviously color has nothing to do with animals and humans detecting black vs. white things. AND PANDAS ARE BLACK AND WHITE!! Therefore, of course color is not needed in these sex education films...

      That depends on whether it is being displyed on a B&W TV or a color TV. On a color TV, white is a linear combination of RGB. Even if it appears white to us, it may still appear some other color to the Pandas. For a B&W TV, I believe the spectrum for white is more like natural light, in which case it may apear the same.

    9. Re:Animals can see TV? by Chris+Canfield · · Score: 1

      Just play it on a Black and White TV. They're pandas.

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    10. Re:Animals can see TV? by qqtortqq · · Score: 1

      Ah, you make a good point. Damn my human-centric thinking...

    11. Re:Animals can see TV? by Snootch · · Score: 2
      It has to do with primary colors, and how they mix together. With the three primary colors, you should be able to make any other color, with the right mix.

      The only reason they are called primary colours is that they are the ones we can detect! Quick rundown: We have 2 types of retinal sensing cells, rods and cones:

      • Rods detect light intensity and sod all else - if all we had were rods, we could only see black-and-white (like dogs).

      • Cones are our colour-sensing cells. There are 3 types of cones - "red", "green", and "blue". Each colour of cone can see light at the precise frequency of that colour, and that around it. So, for example, my green cones register a high value in response to pure green light, and a lower response to turquoise or yellow light (which are a little further away in the spectrum). When we see yellow light (with a frequency between that of green and that of red light), the red and green cones are stimulated the same amount, so the brain guesses that the actual frequency of that light was yellow. The way TV works is by tricking the brain - it sends pure red and pure green light at the same time, so our brain thinks "red and green stimulated together - the light must be yellow!", so we experience the same effect as pure yellow light.


      I hope that made sense :-)
    12. Re:Animals can see TV? by zemaxuser · · Score: 1

      Slightly offtopic, but some research I've heard about is on the packing of the different color sensitive cone cells. A synopsis of it is here. Basically, they've imaged the cells (using adaptive optics, which is cool) and determined which corresponds to which color. What they've found is that the packing and relative number of cone cells vary greatly from human to human (and primate to primate) but this variation doesn't seem to greatly effect their color perception. It's very interesting work.

  7. Better than the original idea... by Bobo_The_Boinger · · Score: 0

    The original plan was to have two trainers dress up in panda costumes and act out appropriate sex scenes to help teach the pandas. However, one of the more depraved pandas tried to initiate a three-some and the plan was dropped.

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    --David
  8. pr0n by qqtortqq · · Score: 2, Interesting

    What CAN'T pr0n accomplish?

  9. They'd better teach good manners... by Deagol · · Score: 4, Funny

    or they'll send in Sexual Harassment Panda!

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  10. Look at that shit! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Go back to the science main page. If you look to the left, the dates for the Sections are older than the dates on the front page or on this page.

  11. Lemme get this straight... by rickwood · · Score: 1, Funny

    Panda Sex is okay and Goat Sex is NOT okay?

    Sometimes I don't get you guys.

  12. Cool! Pornda Stars! by isotope23 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So who did they get to star in them?

    Bamboobs?
    Pandy Stripe?
    Pand Solo?

    And what about Pornda film titles?

    Grin and Bear it?
    Hot Bamboobs? (see pornda name above..)
    Ling-Ling does Szechuan?

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  13. Here is a pciture of panda pr0n. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    WOW

    Ok. it's a goat but we have run out of pandas.

  14. pandas by epsilon720 · · Score: 1

    This story is SOOO old. It's been on seanbaby.com for over 2 years! (http://www.seanbaby.com/news/pandaporn.htm) I mean, I can understand that when it gets busy, things may be delayed, but 2 years???

  15. Not so funny... by afabbro · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I thought this was a funny read until I got to the part about there only being 1,100 pandas left in the wild.

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    1. Re:Not so funny... by treat · · Score: 2
      I thought this was a funny read until I got to the part about there only being 1,100 pandas left in the wild.


      The small panda population is not surprising, considering their lack of desire to mate.

  16. read before you yap by lingqi · · Score: 2

    1) RGB, or any other color space -- can create any color if you look at it from far enough. besides, even if panda can only see two primary colours like dogs -- the TV image will still look the same as real world -- unless they can see into beyond the visible spectrum (i do not think this is the case, by the way), because the TVs are calibrated for the visible spectrum, and any near-infrared / uv will come off totally screwed up.
    2) our eyes have a magnitude more rods (brightness) than cones (color) -- unrelated, but FYI -- that's when it's really dark you can't see jack worth of color but still make out images
    3) human cones respond to cyan, magenta (sp?), and yellow. do you know why paper prints uses CYMK as primary colours? ditto.
    4) screens uses RGB for some other reason -- i don't remember right now, but it's either a) RGB is an easier color space to work with, or b) CYM phosphers were hard to come by. might be a combinaiton of both.

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    My life in the land of the rising sun.

    1. Re:read before you yap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      Just to enlighten you :)
      RGB is used on the monitor because on emitting the light the colors mix additive. CMY is used on paper, because the colors mix subtractive, reflecting the light from another light source.

    2. Re:read before you yap by lingqi · · Score: 1

      *disagree*

      RGB is additive is fine -- but as for paper, RYB (red - yellow - blue) works just fine. just because CMY is subtractive is not reason enough that it's the dominant color space for paper.

      i know somebody in the print business -- will find out and let you know.

      --

      My life in the land of the rising sun.

  17. Panda Porn, the new Rage online by TibbonZero · · Score: 1

    First there was child porn, then there was midget porn, now there is Panda porn. www.pandaporn.com (I don't know if that's a real site... if so, save us.)

    --
    Tibbon
    tibbon.com
  18. Could someone confirm this? by EvilNTUser · · Score: 1

    1) RGB, or any other color space -- can create any color if you look at it from far enough. besides, even if panda can only see two primary colours like dogs -- the TV image will still look the same as real world -- unless they can see into beyond the visible spectrum (i do not think this is the case, by the way), because the TVs are calibrated for the visible spectrum, and any near-infrared / uv will come off totally screwed up.

    I am not familiar with the operating principles of rods and cones, so I'd like someone to discount the possibility I'm going to describe. As it is now, I can't be sure if the person I'm quoting is correct.

    OK, so let's say human cones are calibrated to one of three frequencies, x,y,z. Thus, xyz-colorspace monitors would be able to produce any color within that range by emitting varying amounts of photons.

    If the color FF,00,ED (using a 24-bit colorspace for convenience) is to be produced, the monitor would emit FF x-frequency photons, 0 y-frequency photons and ED z-frequency photons. The x, y and z receptors would notice their respective photons and the brain would compile the perceived color into a single type of photons of frequency (FFx+0y+EDz)/3.

    This would work perfectly, of course, unless suddenly someone would develop a set of eyes that would sense the frequencies x+1,y+1,z+1. They'd still work in real life, since photons of all frequencies are present (the brain could just use the algorithm (x-1,y-1,z-1)/3.)

    Monitors, however, would no longer work properly, since the receptors tuned to different frequencies would no longer fire at all when hit by the limited number of different photons emitted from the monitor. The screen would look black.

    OK, so this is probably *not* how it works, but I'd be very interested if someone would care to explain how it *does*! Thanks.

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    1. Re:Could someone confirm this? by lingqi · · Score: 1

      try here

      --

      My life in the land of the rising sun.

    2. Re:Could someone confirm this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      cone cells don't just respond to a single frequency of light, they respond to a very large range, pretty much the entire visible spectrum. A "red" cone (ok, magenta really) is just one that responds mostly to redish frequencies and least to anything else, the same is true for cyan and yellow cones. Think of the frequency response of a cone as a probability function, it's pretty much the same shape. Not only that, but the phosphors in a monitor don't just emit a single frequency either, it's not like they're lasers or anything. It's pretty flexible on both ends.

  19. Better ones where that came from... by scubacuda · · Score: 2

    here.

  20. The mind boggles... by jonerik · · Score: 3, Funny

    So do these things have plots? Frustrated panda housewife seduces studly panda electrician? Two pandas getting it on in the locker room after a steamy workout at the gym? Girl panda-on-girl panda action? Is there bow-chicka-bow-wow background music?