I Believe You Have My Stapler

yack0 writes "After three years of demand and countless calls, emails and letters, you can finally buy a Red Swingline Stapler. Hooray! As noted in this wall street journal article and confirmed by this page at the Swingline Stapler web site you can now pick up a Red Swingline stapler for merely twice the price of a plain black stapler. However, a colleague of mine says that the online order form is reading around $16 for his right now. Now all the cubicle dwelling prairie dogs can get one step closer to burning down the building." The red stapler has become some sort of cult icon at this point.

Comments

DOD version...

[paiute]

is black and shows up on radar smaller than a pelican. Only $56,000 each.

Re:DOD version...

[Bios_Hakr]

Did you ever stop to wonder if a pelican (I think it's a sparrow in actuality) traveling at 700 miles/hour would tip off a radar operator? I'm no military genius, but I think small, 700mph birds are a sign that something is afoot.

Re:DOD version...

[sugrshack]

that depends.... is it an african pelican or a european pelican?

Re:DOD version...

[Axe]

Latest S300 radar sees f117 clear as day and b2 almost as well. It gets enough reflection off the turbulent air - and modern filtering algorithms are much smarter then analog cut-off used in earlier systems (like the ones Iraq and friends have deployed).

And yeah - it's antenna does not revolve in a circle - it is a phased grid array. It does not have to move to scan target. It actually delays scanning, when it has aquired a target - a continues to beam in its direction for a while, it turns itself off in the direction of jamming bots.

I do not think B-2 will try to drop anything over a modern S300 site.. Even some tactical systems can get it.

My cube-mate had a case of Office Space

[Anonymous Coward]

Yesterday he had 4 bosses/managers/etc come tell him the exact same thing --- that he didn't correctly stow away his oscilloscope in the proper location; but he didn't cause he wasn't finished working with it yet! Truly an Office Space moment.

Ahhh office space, will you ever learn?

[Timmeh]

Slydell: So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch.
Lumbergh: Great.
Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.

excuse me...

[edrugtrader]

i was told i could first post between the hours of 7 and 8 pm... sharon posts while she files, so i don't see any reason why... i'll burn down the building.

You leave me no choice

[wcspxyx]

I'll just post a link on /. and burn down your web server....

Ahhh Office Space

[Paul E. Loeb]

I believe my favorite line would have to be:

PC Load Letter! What the fuck does that mean!!

Re:Ahhh Office Space

[SkulkCU]

Nag.. eh... Nag... uh...
Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.

Re:Ahhh Office Space

[Bouncings]

From Swingline.com:

500 Internal Server Error

/b2c/:

null
java.lang.NullPointerException
at jrun__util__Errorpage2ejsp13._jspService(jrun__uti l__Errorpage2ejsp13.java:268)
at allaire.jrun.jsp.HttpJSPServlet.service(HttpJSPSer vlet.java:40)
at allaire.jrun.servlet.JRunSE.service(JRunSE.java:10 24)

(it goes on like this)

In summary: INTERNAL SERVER ERROR, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?

Re:Ahhh Office Space

[laserjet]

You are slightly incorrect.

You have it backwards.

To be specific, it breaks down like this:

PC (Paper Cassette) Load Letter (Size paper).

This happens when you send a print job that requires Letter size paper, but the printer does not, or thinks it does not, have letter size paper.

This can be cause by having the wrong paper size in the printer, but is more commonly caused by those who insert the paper tray guides incorrectly. Many people mistakenly insert the tray guide for letter size paper in the A4 (our European friend's letter-size equivalent) slots, because they are close in size.

This causes a different sensor arm to be tripped, and the printer thinks it has A4 size when it actually is letter.

This is what can cause this error message. Either that, the wrong size of paper, or a broken sensor.

If you never saw the movie...

[Bogatyr]

follow the IMDB link to learn about Office Space.

PETER GIBBONS
'So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's me on the worst day of my life..'.

All around the country...

[GriffX]

Office managers are putting on their O-face. You know: Oh! Oh!

Office Space creates Anarchy

[stewartj]

I work at motorola. Motorola is undoubtedly a huge source of inspiration for things like Office Space, and *especially* Dilbert. During out "Employee Well-Being" week they showed Office Space in one of the break rooms. It created anarchy when people saw the reality of their office lives!

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[Peyna]

You would be surprised how much the movie Office Space applies to non cubical jobs as well. While working a factory I experienced many similar things to the movie. Such as, if I messed up, I had 5 people telling me about it and reminding me about it. And there was a lady one line over that would talk on her phone and had the most annoying laugh in the world (and this was a pretty loud factory too!). There's more than that, but it was pretty amazing how it paralleled to even a factor job.

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[scott1853]

I worked at a Xerox factory after high school. I only had one boss tell me I wasn't doing something right. The next day though, there were posters ALL over the clean room with clipart people showing the right and wrong ways of doing it. Talk about overkill.

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[delcielo]

You know, the only reason I don't watch that movie very often is that it's TOO realistic. Watching that movie is like going to work.

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[Monkelectric]

Office Space is really an indictment of corporate culture and to a much lesser extent capitalism. One thing that was disturbingly true at my last place of employment [systems admin] was always the "staying late." My fucking boss would walk in at 1:00pm for his first meeting, get out of that at 2:00, catch up on some work, maybe teach a class, then at 4:30 he'd wander in and ask you "how late can you stay tonight? " To quote brain candy I said, "fucker I've been here for 8 hours already!" but then out loud I said "How late do you need me?" Another just criminal thing they would do to me is, at noon they would they would tell me, "I need to see you at 4:00 its important." And then I'd spin my wheels for 4 hours, and finally they'd drop some shit on me like "I need a webmail system running before you leave tonight."(not exadurating, this was said to me). But most of the time it was shit that wasn't even my job "I need you to convert this journal paper into a PDF" (hardcopy only). One day I had worked 17 hours with no lunck/breaks to help meet a deadline created by my boss not starting a proposal until 24 hours before it had to be fedexed. By the end I had a crushing headache and was having trouble seeing from exhaustion, and at 3:00am my boss had the balls to ask me "What time can you be here in the morning? 10:00? We need you at 10" (knowing full well I had a 35 mile commute each way) ... which brings me to the real problem - respect. Most managers have no respect for their employees.

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[The_Shadows]

No offense man, but grow some cajones. If they fire you, they fire you. You obviously don't care for this job too much.

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[Monkelectric]

No offense man, but grow some cajones. If they fire you, they fire you

One thing that was disturbingly true at my last place of employment

I know it's subtle, but "was" and "last" are past tense, indicating I am no longer working there :)

That story is actually more like enron meets office space. I had wanted to quit for about a year, but I had debts to pay and I wanted to stay at the job for atleast two years to look good on a resume. My boss and a official from accounting approached me one day telling me they were going to have the university write me a check and I was going to write most of the check back to them and that they needed to do this because they had paid me out of the wrong account :) Long story short I dont believe shit my boss tells me and the plan would have gotten me in *UBER* hot water with the IRS and NSF both whom the plan defrauded.

So I went to the universities Judicial Director (the university interface to the legal system), who hooked me up with a detective and a deputy district attorney, for whom I agreed to setup my boss for prosecution by completing the fraud under the supervision of the police. On two occasions I wore a wire to document the planning of the crime for the police... and now that my boss is either going to be fired, sentured, or jailed, I quit.

Is that enuf "cajones" for you? You really shouldn't use your +2 bonus for stupid comments.

Re:Office Space creates Anarchy

[LatJoor]

Hey, I'm glad he made that comment so we could get that second, much better story out of you. That brightened my day.

Cultural Icon

[HBergeron]

being an afficionado of dark comedy, I have long been a fan of Office Space. I may be one of five buyers of the (poorly produced) DVD. The performances, particularly Ron Livingstone (hugely underrated actor) and Diedrich Bader (almost unrecognizable) make it a real gem.

On the subject of red staplers, why has the post WWII workplace insisted on mono-color conformity? It seems almost a conspiracy to ensure that office workers be isolated from as much visual stimulation as possible. Is it so important that the occasional visitor/client not see a single clash of colors that offends their sensibility? It would not revolutionize the drudgery of the workplace, but more allowances for individuality and color can't help but improve the condiditon of those who must exist in that environment from day to day.

The whole "flair" concept at the Houlihans type restaurant carries the same theme. Even where modern business allows disorder, it cannot be individually expressive disorder, it must be carefully regimented and designed to communicate the corporate message, not a personal one.

The dot com bust has given added credence to those who actually advocate this kind of enforced conformity - they point to a free form, more open dot com workplaces as a symptom or cause of the crash, and are using it to crush any new proposal to create a more humanized, comfortable workplace. Just my two cents. Great movie if you haven't seen it.

Re:Cultural Icon

[gsfprez]

> individuality and color can't help but improve
> the condiditon of those who must exist in that
> environment from day to day.

Wait..

how could this get a Score of 4? When Apple did this - they got beaten about the head and neck on slashdot.

this place makes no sense sometimes.

Re:Cultural Icon

[IxnayOnTheIxnay]

Errr, so the pre-WWII workplace insisted on multicolored objects?

Seeing as color wasn't invented until the late 1930's, how could it?

Re:Cultural Icon

[ZaMoose]

Here's the funny thing about Livingston's Band of Brothers performance. I heard an interview with him on a Philly radio station and he commented that after the first few episodes of BoB aired, his agent started getting calls from scouts asking "Wow, Rob was great in Band of Brothers. But can he do comedies?"

Heh.

**���'s in eyes moment**

[The_Guv'na]

...merely twice the price of a plain black stapler...

/me runs off to buy black staplers and red paint.

Re:Whoop-dee-shit.

[Arctech]

You were looking for actual news?
Man, has someone ever lost his way...

Re:I hate to tilt at windmills, but

[Peyna]

Seemed the other way around to me. 15 minutes of that boy meets girl crap, except it was better, because his pickup line was "do you like kung fu?".

save money and be more authentic...

[scaramush]

According to IMDB the original stapler was just painted anyways:

The red Swingline stapler that Milton was so afraid of having taken away was never actually manufactured by the Swingline company; it was instead painted red by a crew member in the props department. However, following the movie's success on video as a cult film, the demand for red Swingline staplers (apparently as a symbol of quiet rebellion among cubicle-bound employees) was so great that the company began to sell the red Swingline stapler on its website..

---

So break out that red paint and make your own... ;)

Why Milton and Dilbert succeed

[teetam]

What I say here might be controversial, but cultural background plays a big role in the office environment.

Ancient cultures (like China and India) tend to emphasize on hierarchy and obedience rather than questioning and innovation. When immigrant bachelor developers stay till midnight everyday and come to work on weekends, they set the same expectations on everyone else. Anyone who leaves at six because he has a life is viewed as being less of a team player. Also, important technical decisions might end up being taken outside the normal working hours.

Things only get worse when, after a few years, these same people become managers.

Some other symptoms are (i) dependence on individual brilliance rather than a good system and (ii) concentration of knowledge within a few individuals.

I am not blaming anyone and certainly not all immigrant developers fit the above pattern, but there is a cultural aspect to work and I am merely pointing it out.

BTW, I came from India three years ago.

Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed

[Skyshadow]

Amen.

I was one of three westerners in a Chinese office (as in, moved-from-Beijing-a-year-before) for just short of a year, and the place burned me out faster and more completely than I thought possible.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, ever put in less than a twelve hour day, six or seven days a week. Even when there was no deadline, you were expected to be there. What was really happening was that nobody was really *working* that much, they'd just all adapted their lives around work -- they'd take long lunches and dinners, play at least an hour of ping-pong a day, have their kids would come visit at night, etc.

As an native American (although only a fraction Native American) with (IMO) a pretty solid work ethic, I looked terrible if I left "early" or said I couldn't come in on a Sunday for whatever reason. My boss called me on it one time, and I pointed out that I *always* met my deadlines and that I applied myself at work more than any of my coworkers. From his reaction, it was clear that wasn't the point -- I wasn't showing the proper dedication, defined strictly as spending time at work.

Anyhow, I got laid off last year after I told them I was going home to the midwest for Christmas (during a time with no pressing deadlines and using the company's posted holidays and a weekend). It took me five months to find another decent job, but not for one second did I wish I still worked there.

Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed

[teetam]

As I said in my original post, I am an Indian who came to USA three years ago. I am so glad to see replies that have stuck with objective views.

So let me tell you something - there are many, many Chinese and Indians who feel like you and I do. They tend to be silent because they are in a worse position than you. If you don't like a job, all you have to do is walk off to another company.

Take me, for example. I am working on a H1 visa. If I am laid off, the INS immediately treats as being out of status and my countdown clock starts ticking. Even if I get interviews (past the citizens and GC only companies) and a job, I still have to wait a few more months for my new H1 to be approved. Under these circumstances, would I risk telling people at work how I really feel? No. I work as late as anyone else and make sure I am always around when people are looking for me, whatever be the time

The H1 visa is a brilliant form of modern slavery that has the consent of everyone involved!

Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed

[Cryptnotic]

Dependence on individual brilliance is not necessarily a bad thing.

When that one individual gets hit by a car and the entire company is fucked, that's a bad thing. Or when the brilliant genius gets headhunted and goes to a company that will pay him 3 times as much and give him a team of people to do all the boring stuff... of course, no one else understands the guy's system.

Real companies try not to operate that way. They force their geniuses to document their work so if all else fails, they can hire a lesser genius to take the place of the genius who leaves. Even if you're the genius who started the company, it's better if you document things so that you can retire young.

Re:Why Milton and Dilbert succeed

[teetam]

Oops..My usage of the word "slavery" seems to caused a small backlash. Sorry about that. It was not a personal complaint. I was merely trying to point out a possible lacuna in the system. No offense meant to anyone or any group.

Let me clarify. I love America. Ever since I came here, I have had a fabulous quality of life. My rights have always been well respected. That is certainly not my point.

Any capitalist system requires complete free will to function correctly, both on the part of the employer and the employee. The H1 work visa introduces an aberration. I was merely pointing that out.

When I said everyone, I certainly included myself. It is not really a revelation when you point that out.

Liquid TV--the birth of Milton

[PDG]

Actually, Milton and the epic of the stapler didn't originate in 'Office Space' but rather Judge's cartoon short from MTV's Liquid Television progam.

The skit basically showed Lumbherg and Milton having their classic confrontation about the stapler, moving his office down to the basement, and what not.

Judge made 'Office Space' from this skit.

Re:Liquid TV--the birth of Milton

[schussat]

Actually, Milton and the epic of the stapler didn't originate in 'Office Space' but rather Judge's cartoon short from MTV's Liquid Television progam.

I'm pretty sure that what preceded Liquid Television was Spike and Mike's Festival of Animation -- they were showing Milton clips several years before MTV, I think. Short Milton clips would appear between longer animated shorts. (BTW, those old Animation Festival films were absolutely fantastic; I'll never forget some of the animations they screened.)

-schussat

Umkayy?

[di0s]

Hell, Lumbergh fucked her...

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Peter -- Check Out Channel 9

[TheRhino]

Hey, Peter, forget this article, check out what's on Channel 9!

Re:FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS

[ipfwadm]

Gene Kan is dead. Got it? Dead.

And up until 5 minutes ago, I had never heard of this guy. Why not? Because from reading the Wired news article, all he did was work on Gnutella. Gnutella. Who cares. After reading your post I thought maybe this guy had invented the Internet. People die all the time. And according to the article, "Kan's suicide was not completely unexpected, according to some of his friends. They had hoped Kan was winning his hard-fought battle against depression exacerbated by personal problems." I battled depression too and I'm a programmer, should /. run an article on me now? I would be willing to bet that far more /. readers have seen Office Space and are interested in a red stapler than know who this guy was. Oh, and did I mention, he died on June 29. It is now July 11. The story has been on Wired for almost 2 days now. Isn't it a little late for you to go into this rant? And as other posters mentioned, just because he had fancy cars and respect and money doesn't mean he was happy.

If you liked Office Space. . .

[Fantastic Lad]

There's another cool film called, "Way Downtown" which is very much in the same vein, though a little grungier around the edges.

Shot in downtown Calgary, where the doozer habitrails are so advanced that, between interconnected malls, eateries, apartment high-rises and office blocks, it is entirely possible to NEVER go outside. (Presumably something to do with harsh Canadian winters. . .)

The film is filled with dark-humor about what happens when a group of co-workers make a three pay-check bet to see who can stay indoors the longest. A rather bent film, with weird-ass hallucinogenic scenes which I can entirely relate to. --Basically, take your time in such fluorescent, filtered air environments, and multiply by 100. Makes you double-think space travel, and that's a fact!

-Fantastic Lad

Re:If you liked Office Space. . .

[Timmeh]

I couldn't either until I searched for it on the web and found out who's acting in it, then searching for that actor on IMDB and looking for a similar title. The actual name of the movie is Waydowntown (one word!) and IMDB's search engine ain't smart enuf to tell the difference between 'Waydowntown' and 'Way Downtown'.

linky linky

Re:I want a sledge hammer

[Eil]

Speaking of killing hardware, my friend Jason and I make a nice hobby out of discussing various ways of destroying broken hardware and then making good on it.

Thus far he's been the one to do all of the killing, but we plan to one day gather all of our various broken and/or useless stuff for a bit of mass-murder.

I guess the server...

[A_Non_Moose]

"Has a case of the 'Mondays'"... .....

Has anyone ever said to you "Looks like someone has a case of the 'Mondays'"?

Naw. No. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked.
.

Roman History

[ronfar]

In Ancient Rome, educated Greeks would often sell themselves into slavery to wealthy Romans. However, the thing to remember that these slaves were planning to earn their freedom. They weren't planning to stay slaves forever. If the slave managed to earn his (and I mean his) freedom in this case, he would not only be a free man but a Roman citizen and a client of his former owner. This comparison to the H1-B system is not hyperbolie.

It beat the conditions they had at home in Greece, but it really was slavery.

Unfortunately, Americans, being very provincial, tend to think only in terms of American style slavery, in which manumission was rare and unexpected. (Oh, and no one was really sure what to do with free slaves, except repatriate them to Africa.)

For more information on Roman style slavery, try reading the Masters of Rome series by Colleen McCullough.

The real problem with comparing things to the H1-B system is that there isn't anything exactly like the H1-B system. It somewhat resembles both indentured servitude and Roman style slavery.

American style slavery was really more like feudalism, almost no hope of freedom or every raising your social status.

Of course, it is difficult to compare the H1-B system to anything else, since it is a modern invention with its own rules and peculiarities. However, to dismiss a comparison with slavery, especially non-American slavery simply reflects a lack of knowledge of the history of the ancient world.

From the Google cache

[mikethegeek]

http://216.239.51.100/search?q=cache:DQJxCdKIbukC: www.swingline.com/b2c/whatsnew/NewProducts.jsp+red +swingline&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

Here is the text:

"Swingline The Red Stapler

Ah, the price of fame. Hollywood took one of our staplers - thanks,
by the way - and used it in one of their films. Trouble is, they painted it red, a color we didn't offer. Ever since, we've been getting calls from customers demanding to order "that red stapler".

Okay, okay, you win. We took our industry-leading 747 Desk Stapler and gave it a deep, establishment-defying, I'll- flunt-my-individuality-if-I-choose-to red finish. Without sacrificing one staple's worth of solid 747 reliability.

The only concession we've made, in fact, is to offer the Red 747 exclusively over the Internet, at least for now. And that's a matter of public safety -
they're in limited supply, and we'd hate to cause riots in the street."

mmmm...yeeeeeaaah..

[c1pher]

so if you could just move that article to the end of the posts, that'd be greeeeeaat, ok. Thanks a bunch /.

all your favorite office space quotes:

[hex1848]

http://new.wavlist.com/movies/317/