Slashdot Mirror
Slashback: BBC, Crypto, Dummies [updated]
Let's get with it on those .ogg portables, OK?
rassie writes "Checking back at what used to be one of my most visited sites, I noticed that I might start using it again very soon. The BBC is returning to streaming in ogg format. From the page:
Update (2002-09-24): Yay, the legal issues have been resolved. We now have rights to all the of the BBC's radio output. Hopefully we should start kicking off these streams soon."
Your email is still (probably) safe. BitterOak writes "A recent Slashdot story reported that AES might have been broken by the new XL attack of Courtois and Pieprzyk. However, it appears there aren't enough linearly independent equations for this attack to work against AES. Cryptographer T. Moh has a brief explanation here, and Don Coppersmith posted a comment on the NIST AES discussion forum (under General Cryptanalytic Attacks), which comes to the same conclusion. Coppersmith is one of the world's greatest cryptographers, so it seems safe to assume that AES has not been broken at this point."
Hey, now it's just like most of the U.S.! yoink! writes "The BBC is running the following story detailing the end of the short-lived electronic gaming ban in Greece. The Government realised that (hopefully) relatively little gambling was involved with those playing computer, and console games all over the country. The decision to clarify those games which are, in fact, electronic gambling facilities are the only forms of electronic gaming with which the revised legislation now concerns itself."
The lawyers sound like ... dummies. Blue Aardvark House writes "I am an author for the Slash site Slackers Guild. Recently Nastard, the owner of Slackers Guild received a threatening letter from Wiley Publishing concerning the site's Slacking for Dummies document. Nastard's reply is here."
Update: 09/27 03:31 GMT by T : Note: the Slacker's Guild website seems to have slacked, and the links no longer work. For the text of the letter sent by Wiley to Nastard, search below for comment #4340698 by SiMac; for the response, see comment #4340840 by decaying. Also, the "Slacking for Dummies" document link now points to Google's cache.
It's not the first time that Wiley has hunted down obvious parody works; they've even fired off similar mail because someone used "Dummies" in the subject line of an email.
This might be a first post...
Everyone knows that Ford Taurus should be the number 1 selling car in the world. Fucking toyotas. theyre Toys.
Hahaha! I win!
Your email is still (probably) safe.
Bah! Boring people should stop encrypting things anyway.
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance" - Derek Bok
Dear Nastard:
Wiley Publishing, Inc. ("Wiley"), formerly Hungry Minds, Inc., publisher of the well-known and well-regarded "? FOR DUMMIES" series of reference books and products has recently become aware of your use of the "? FOR DUMMIES" trademark and trade dress on your webpage www.slackersguild.com in the form of Slacking For Dummies.
As you may know, Wiley has over 100 trademark registrations and applications in the United States, Canada, and other jurisdictions for the trademark "FOR DUMMIES", many "DUMMIES" formatives and the FOR DUMMIES trade dress. The FOR DUMMIES trademark appears not only on our books, but also on CD-ROMs, trade and consumer advertising, in catalogues, point of sale displays, Wiley's websites, and other promotional and licensed material distributed worldwide. This series has been in existence since 1991 and has enjoyed tremendous success.
Since the FOR DUMMIES trademark is a federally registered mark, United States trademark law requires that Wiley take all reasonable steps to prevent others from using its marks, or confusingly similar marks, in such a way so as to "dilute" its distinctiveness as an exclusive designator of Wiley's goods and services. If the mark is used by too many different sources, it becomes a "generic" term, and Wiley may lose its exclusive right to use it. Thus, it is Wiley's responsibility to police for the use of "?. For Dummies" in any manner, and stop all unauthorized use of its trademark. Accordingly, in order to fully protect its valuable trademark, Wiley cannot permit such unauthorized use in connection with your website. Although you may present the defense that your use of the marks is a parody, a parody may still be considered infringing if it results in an increased likelihood of confusion, tarnishment or is disparaging to our reputation. A parody is a literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule. However, unless the trademark is at least in part of the parody, then your work does not qualify as a parody in the legal sense.
In order to resolve this matter quickly and amicably, we request that you:
1. Remove all materials from your website which bear the infringing material; and
2. Provide written confirmation to me by no later than October 3, 2002, that the above steps have been taken and you will refrain from using the "? For Dummies" mark, or any other mark that is confusingly similar to any Wiley mark, in the future.
While we prefer to resolve this matter informally, Wiley will use all legal remedies available to protect its trademark rights. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Ward Skeel
Manager, Contracts and Intellectual Property
Wiley Publishing, Inc.
(317) 572-3304
Email: kskeel@wiley.com
(Sorry, I didn't get the response)
Did the slackersguild even have a chance?
riding round the world on an old motorcycle
1. Ban electronic gaming
2. ???
3. Profit!!!
[Someone else's trademark] For Dummies
If that's not hypocritial, I don't know what is. They seem to think they can use trademarks they don't own in a title, so why can't we?
You obviously need to read "First Posts for Dummies."
It's insane how litigeous America is nowadays.
For example: There are currently 600,000 lawsuits involving asbestos - alone - in the legal system. Older doctors are retiring sooner because they can't afford malpractice insurance.
The very threat of litigation is enough to shut most people up, especially when you have SLAPP suits (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation) and when your organization has the obvious ability to win a DSW.
I used to be someone else. Now I'm someone better.
Real life is underrated.
The Government realised that (hopefully) relatively little gambling was involved with those playing computer
[Humour]
That is until you get a leading Greek lawmaker overhear a game player in a cybercafe say "Betcha 20Euros I can beat you in a Unreal Tourney 2003 frag fest" to another gamer.
[/humour]
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
How to Be a Comple Nastard for Dummies
Politas
You can find the usual Google cahce here
Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her cum like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is the easiest way to cum with a man. You may have the littlest dick on the planet, but if you give great head, you will be appreciated as a fabulous lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect it these days - you might as well know what you're doing.
:), but I have a few things that seem unsaid.
First off, guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their dick into one are often reluctant to put their face "down there". For every guy who says he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know this, and it affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her. When a guy fingers a lady and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she knows this is her lucky day.
What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer. (Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole body fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop - this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass, and rub a finger all around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash around inside too, if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you do. But don't put those soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that fun? And now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases...
So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach. STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting? I strongly prefer to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into my inner recesses. Use your judgement, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach, up her thighs, until she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it... I also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling my inner thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation.
POSITIONS
If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about your going down on her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half-sitting. Lay down between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy laying or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also straddle your face, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her cunt, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment. And then there's 69...
69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing her, without too much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's easy to short-change your partner. "It feels soooo good, I'm just gonna stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh". Get the picture? Some show of will-power is in order.
69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter two are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down. Some women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives her wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this position. I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a sure choking position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep throat you, this is THE position. When her head is thrust back you can really slide your cock all the way down her throat. But don't forget what you're supposed to be doing!
So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy lesson...
THE CLITORIS
Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally, anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just remember that this is pleasurable teasing, not the main event. I can't tell you how many guys have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that this was going to make me cum. They were wrong. Of course, with a little manual stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.
The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell what feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.
THE TONGUE
I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel terrific, so relax! I promise, you may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great, and I'd no sooner tell guys to "do it exactly like this" than I would tell every chef to follow the same recipe. But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here are a few techniques that you might like to try:
Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing.
Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other side.
Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.
Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it. Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.
The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.
With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her (see PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER below).
Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.
FINGERS
Fingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across one's clitoris.
Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.
Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.
An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.
Fingers also do nice things to tight little butt holes, but that's a whole other story...
ANAL PLAY
This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't do it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and start wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel that you can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.
Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and rub it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works too.) If that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still feels great. But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger pushed up their ass while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle, possibly even leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a little, or around in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're doing something right.
It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your finger as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably thinking about what that would feel like around your dick, and it's something you should certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of the scope of this article, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a finger up her butt, she sure as hell won't want your big dick up there. Even if she does enjoy this sort of play, she may still be somewhat apprehensive about putting something so large up there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication (a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which is safe for condoms), relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle, approach. She'll certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or deeper. And remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around your cock, reach around and diddle that clit!
As for anallingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to satisfy your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue rove as it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue inside her butt to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and around, you get the picture.
One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in this regard can cause a horrendous infection.
MENSTRUATION
I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it thru intercourse, manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her, great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out the lights, and forget about it.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I think variety is crucial. Some guy posted an article detailing a road map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do the unexpected; sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even even include your nose, or your chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more and more excited, pay more attention to her clitoris. When she's three breathes away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you are doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a sensitive spot.
Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop. This is not easy unless you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you. Say, "Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna cum." Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth just briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this woman squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy the ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman cum.
UUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! (or, I'M COMING!!!)
Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by continuing the stimulation.
How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but need about five minutes to recoup. Many women are so sensitive right after they cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable of cumming again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to cum repeatedly with continued stimulation. This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that is experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.
GODI'MSOEXCITEDITFEELSGREATBUTIJUSTCAN'TCOME
It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety, or just an inability to "let go". What do you do about it? The first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of her own home. If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework. There are two books on the subject that I know of: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach, and Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then tell her to read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!
Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank: "Is there something different I can do?" Many women are shy about criticizing their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster. Ah... perfect.
But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: selfconsciousness and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a "be here now" kind of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft music. Share a glass of port. (I said A glass - getting drunk will definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up comfortably with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on your face, or the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall. Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it up. Forget everything I said about asking her questions - just close your eyes and get into it. I know this can be a difficult and exhausting exercise, but she will be extravagantly thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before she's about to cum anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.
For women who themselves feel that their cunts are dirty or distasteful, all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about their own genitals. They don't love "that part" of their body, and they can't believe that you would either. Yes, it is important to be clean. But clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste. The natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely more comfortable with your loving it too.
Section 2 - "How to Eat Pussy" from grind.isca.uiowa.edu
Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.
Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.
Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn't it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I've seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special.
Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.
Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.
Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of it's own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.
Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.
Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.
Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently.
Tongue-fuck her. This feels define. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it's covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up tot he top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it's presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.
Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'
There's a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.
But back to your pussy eating session...There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, curing or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.
Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.
She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one who's nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover.
When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.
If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She'd be yours as long as you wanted her.
The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, make her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.
Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.
Section 3 - "Female Oral Sex Techniques" from alt.sex.wizards
TASTE:
In my experience, one of the main reasons that partners avoid female oral sex is due to a percieved or even experienced poor taste. While it is true that women run the range from pleasant (tasty!) to sour or uric tasting, there are easy steps to ensure that your partner will be tasting her sweetest.
First and most obviously, a good vigorous shower will do much to neutralize the taste of your partner. In fact, oral sex in the shower, while not a favorite method of mine, has a completely neutral taste if you stick to the upper regions of your partner's sex. If your partner has not showered recently, or has physically exerted herself recently, her taste will be much stronger. This, however, can be a good thing!
Secondly, foreplay will improve upon both the taste and the experience in general if your can get her juices flowing. I have never found an extremely aroused, wet woman to taste unpleasant. Quite the contrary!
FOREPLAY:
Do it! Take your time! Have fun! Experiment! A common male misunderstanding is that females are aroused most through physical contact. Not true. I have aroused women greatly simply by acting sexy. Tension is a wonderful tool, use it. If you can build tension to the point where the barest touch sends electric shivers through both of you, you can't lose! Similarly, even the best love techniques will not turn on a woman who isn't in the mood. (If you can get her in the mood, well then you're talking.)
Take your time, explore your partner (there's a lot more there than nipples and a clitoris!), build tension, have fun.
POSITIONS:
There are two basic positions that I have found very versitile and succesful. For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs, put your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right - somewhat of an intimate hug. Now you should find your head situated conveniently and comfortably near the center of your attention.
Less comfortable, but a bit wilder is the following. Lie on your back, prop a couple of pillows (or fold one over) under your head. Have your partner kneel facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position (IMHO) is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. (Yum) Versatility and comfort are reduced for the giver, so I only occasionally partake in this position.
These are by no means the only positions. Again, experiment, have fun. If you can find a bed where your partner can lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, you're in luck. Now you can have her sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her sex.
GEOGRAPHY:
Woman are very different in some respects of their genitalia, but the major parts are the same. A woman's sex from the oral sex point of view consists of two sets of lips (outer and inner) that meet just below the vaginal opening and some variable distance above the clitoris; the vaginal opening (immediately above the nether meeting of above-mentioned lips), a smooth section of skin between the vaginal opening and the clitoris (I have no clue as to its technical name, hereafter it will be refered to as the "scav") and the clitoris and its surrounding folds.
If you get the chance, explore your partner in a location with decent lighting. Use your hand to spread her sex and explore her, find out what's where and what's what. Like I said earlier, women are different. Especially the location and shape of the clitoris. It can be buried, protruding, surrounded by many folds of flesh, or hanging out it the open. The best method I have found for finding your partner's clitoris (If all else fails, ask!), is to place a finger at the very base of her sex and gently run it up her scav until you feel a slight bump. That's it.
OK, ENOUGH OF THE DETAILS, NOW THE NITTY-GRITTY:
So your partner is showered, excited and feeling sexy. It's the big moment, what to do? Don't simply dive in. Take your time, excite her. In my opinion, I can usually tell how good my partner is at oral sex by how she "goes down" on me. By "going down" I mean the process by which she goes from kising my lips to sucking oh-so-wonderfully on my sex.
Depending on your partner, different methods of going down will work more effectively. If you've gotten to this point with your partner, you should have a fair idea of what she likes. Take advantage of that knowledge. One thing that I highly recommend however, is a sexy look. Sexy looks can make all the difference, and the best place to throw one in is as you're licking, sucking and kissing your way down her stomach stop, look up and smile devilishly.
Unbutton your partners jean's, pull the tabs back and kiss her newly exposed flesh. Unzip her pants, pull the tabs back as far as they can go and place light, tender kisses on her abdomen and around the top of her panties. Watch it, some women are very ticklish here!
(Note the above doesn't work so well if she doesn't have jeans on but you're all smart enough to figure it out...) Once you've removed everything but her panties, stop. You have a unique opportunity for further arousal. Kiss her legs and inner thighs with gentle kisses. Work your way up each leg and make a point of stopping at the line of her underwear. Kiss again along the top of her underwear, and along the other two borders.
Now move to her cotton (silk? lace? latex?) covered sex. Plant firm, dry kisses through her underwear on her sex, low and right around the vaginal entrance works best for me. If your partner is really excited, often her underwear will be damp and will smell (pleasantly) of her sex.
Removing the underwear is again a matter of choice. You know your partner best, I prefer either gently sliding it all the way off with my fingers, or pulling it part way down with my teeth first.
DIRECT KISSING:
It is not unusual for your partner's lips to be closed together. A very excited woman's lips may be slightly spread allready ("pouting"). Again, building tension can be accomplished by light kisses on either side of her sex as well as light blowing. (Do not inflate your partner! This can be very dangerous!!) Spreading her lips can be accomplished by placing your tongue first at the base of her sex, and then firmly running your tongue all the way up. Continue with a few long licks from the base of her sex all the way to the top past her clitoris. Vary the firmness of your tongue from hard and pointed to broad and soft.
THE BIG "O":
The best and most proven method of making your partner cum through oral sex is by repeated, rythmic stroking of her clitoris with your tongue. The tongue is uniquely suited for this purpose because of it's texture, versatility, and pliability. It is difficult (and tiring) to apply too much pressure to your partner's clitoris. Some women are much more sensitive than others however. Be receptive to any sharp gasps, you could be being too affectionate. If this is the case, move away from direct contact or adopt a gentler technique.
Repeated, rythmic stroking can be accomplished in a variety of ways. I prefer either rapid, repeated verticle licks with a firm, pointed tongue, or planting your tongue firmly against your partner's clitoris and vigorously shaking your head back and forth. (Tiring, maybe. But it's worth it!) If you are having trouble finding the correct angle or method for rhythmically lingually carresing her clitoris, or if you want to try something fun and new:
Toungue the abc's. No seriously! This is a great oral excercise on any part of the body. Toungue the abc's starting with lower case, and moving though upper case. (Heck, you could do the whole ANSI ASCII set if you'd like!) Be especially perceptive while you do this, vary your speed and watch for sharp intakes of breath - chances are you've hit the right angle. The abc's give a large variety of different strokes, so come back to this excersize as often as you'd like.
A general rule of thumb (tongue?) is to start slow and pick up the pace as you go along. This is definately a general rule though, feel free to break it by varying your rhythm, both slowly and predictably as well as quickly and startlingly.
OTHER FUN THINGS TO DO:
Lick between the inner and outer lips; penetrate the vagina deeply (a much stronger, iron-like taste here); "tease" the entrance to her vagina with rapid pokes of your toungue at varying depths; don't forget your hands, often a woman will feel a need or ache for something inside of her while very aroused, oblige her with a finger or two. Both kissing and manually manipulating your partner is tough, anyone with succesful methods is welcome to pipe in.
Talk to your partner, ask her what she likes. Experiment (if you can) with many different partners. What excites one woman a lot may not excite another as much, but may still be well worth trying. On the other hand, you may not notice a subtle pleasurable technique on one woman that can be easily learned on another. The better you know your parnter, the more effectively you can please her. Have fun!
A FINAL NOTE:
I tried to be a lot less pretentious than the male version of this article for a few reasons. The major one is that women are very different, the above suggestions may work wonderfully with one woman and so-so with another. Some women simply aren't responsive to oral sex due to strong moral constraints. Secondly, I am not an expert, though I love oral sex and have had the joy of pleasuring 10-20 women. Third, I am still young (18) and have a lot to learn.
So feel free to comment on what you've read (men and women) and reply either over the net or to me personally. Thanks. Hope you found this helpfull and enjoy!
Section 4 - from the alt.sex FAQ
Q. What is cunnilingus?
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it.
What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina.
This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.
Q. How fast should I go?
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.
Some women may like additional stimulation-- a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.
Q. I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.
As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.
Q. What about cunnilingus during menstruation?
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.
Section 5 - by Dryadae (copyright 1995 by Karen Chapdelaine)
In my experience, when you try to explain to a man "in the moment" that he is doing oral sex (or sometimes anything) wrong, often the result is a disaster. You aren't into it, because you are trying to direct, and I guess for many guys it comes off as simply insulting. It isn't a very "supportive process," to borrow a friend's phraseology.
Example: "No, not there,...there..." (Quizzical looks, no change in behavior.)
Now, if you go looking for diagrams of women's vaginas, you will find yourself either looking at medical textbooks or special references, such as Our Bodies, Ourselves --- which, is presented as a "for women only" sort of thing. The original edition even gave this little rap to men about not buying it "for" women. Yeesh! Good book, but talk about "attitude." The new edition has thankfully dropped this negative proscription.
You will sometimes NOT even find a clear picture of a woman's vagina in a general sex reference, such as the original The Joy of Sex. And you won't find a discussion of the parts of the vulva in most places. Now, go look for a picture of a man's penis that is reasonably edifying, and you'll find them all over. I only discovered this when I tried to look it up, and since I had never purchased Our Bodies, Ourselves, I was SOL (corrected that, recently). I however, and all women, have a ready-made "reference manual," provided we have gotten over the idea, or never had it, that looking at it will somehow be a "bad thing." Men don't have this reference manual readily "at hand," at least if their partner, if they have one, is not immediately available and cooperative.
I have also read, and just reread, the Cunnilingus FAQ. Though it seemed excellent in terms of mood, style of approach, all the "beginning" stuff, I found when I applied her technique suggestions to me and my experience as a recipient, or my experience as a giver, it was a bit short on specifics. I am sure the described approach works very well for the woman who wrote it
So, you have gone through all the beginning motions, taking a reasonable amount of time, and you are starting to "get down to business." First, PLEASE turn on the lights. Working in the dark is for experts at best. I am assuming you are sitting between her legs, facing her, or some variation on this. Now really LOOK at what is there. Where her hair is (or was, some people shave) is the mons veneris, the pubic mound. If she is not aroused, everything is likely, but not guaranteed, to be enclosed within the outer lips or labia majora, the edges of the pubic mound that comes together to enclose her vulva.
As you spread this apart (she can bring her knees up and out, and/or you can use your hands), you will now see the inner folds of skin of the vulva, the inner lips or labia minora. These (usually) go all around the vaginal opening, and come in a variety of interesting and pleasing shapes and textures.
As you observe that this encircles the vaginal opening, at the top of this you will find what might look like a button or might look like a very tiny penis, covered by an additional flap of skin. The flap of skin is the "hood" of the clitoris, and is very sensitive, as is the clitoris. This is the female equivalent of the male foreskin, though it is much looser than that corresponding organ.
If you see what looks like a button underneath the hood, then what you are seeing is the glans of the clitoris, exactly equivalent to your own penis glans, or head of the penis. If you see a bit more than that, then there is probably some of the shaft of the clitoris extending in your partner. I stress this since most men would not be particularly enthused by a blow job that only gave attention to their penis head and extended not a centimeter below there. Many might find it annoying or even painful, depending on how rough their partner is with them and how sensitive they are to pain in that area. However, told "give attention to the clitoris," by fable and book, many brave soldiers run to do battle on the field of their woman's desires with their tongue, only to find their partner is telling them to please stop, it hurts, or it doesn't do anything for me. This may or may not be a comment on your technique, some women don't like oral sex. I would just like to suggest an approach that probably has a higher average success rate.
The shaft of the clitoris is attached internally, back into the body of the woman. Pressure on the spot above the glans and underneath the hood will generally give you access to the part of the shaft equivalent to the part of your penis that is towards your body, whereas underneath the glans will give you access to the part of the shaft that is equivalent to the part of your penis that is away from your body. It is likely that the skin directly below the glans will be functionally equivalent to what is for most men the most sensitive and pleasurable part of the penis for play, and the inner vaginal lips are also usually quite sensitive "in a good way." Going down/in/back, you may or may not see the urethra, if you do this is the location of the grafenberg spot (g-spot), which we have all heard on this newsgroup is quite varied in response, some women love stimulation there, others do not. Try licking your tongue around there, if it is visible, and see, in the course of your "investigations."
O.K., so now you have the picture. You did trim/file your nails first, didn't you? Play with your hands, play with your mouth, go all over, gently at first, increasing stimulation and focus as her body responds, and coming in "closer on" the clitoral area as she becomes more aroused. Lick, suck, point your tongue and apply pressure, use it like a "miniature penis" under the glans, penetrating her as you go, make little circles with your tongue, lick up and down along the skin in front of the clitoris, up and down the inner vaginal lips, etc. These are ideas, find some others, listen to her responses and comments. Remember to GO SLOW --- I believe impatience and expectations of quick response are "generally recognized as" the most common error in sexual encounters. Eventually the clitoris will become probably become erect, and stimulation that is "more direct" (like enclosing your mouth on the area and gently sucking) will stimulate a sufficient amount of the organ in question to be interesting. Watch what you are doing, and what happens, the entire area will become "engorged" and swollen if things are proceeding closer to orgasm.
Some women may not, or may prefer not, to orgasm this way. Most will probably, however, enjoy the experience a great deal. Hopefully this "explanation and comparison" to the corresponding male body parts will allow you to not be (still) in the dark with the lights on.
Chick rape, that is. Come on, it's fun!
There's nothing wrong with rape, it's the natural way! We all owe our existance to our bones-jumping ancestors. If they'd waited to find "consenting" partners, the human race would've fizzled out and you faggots wouldn't be able to sit around eating shreddies and watching Cowboy Bebop.
It's an evolutionary trait, and besides, bitches are so wishy washy they don't know what they want. Let THE MAN decide!
Go ahead and disagree, if you're a FAG or a DYKE FEMINAZI
would this just be internet roulette and such? or could it possibly be MMORPGS (selling stuff on ebay) and things of that nature?
sir bard
All the real streaming server does is to puke out bits on an IP pipe. That is not rocket science, but the cost is utterly ridiculous.
I always said that the biggest mistake we made with the Web (apart from makinf the CERNLib license terms require a credit) was not putting an uncompressed audio format in as a default. The point is that nobody pays for the compression, they pay for the ability to make noise. Make the ability to create noise free and the audio codecs become just an optimization.
Looking for an Information Security student project suggestion?
Try http://dotcrimeManifesto.com/
Dear Kimberly,
I've given serious thought to your request, and while, as an artist, I can appreciate your company's desire to protect it's intellectual property, I feel it is also my responsibility -- again, as an artist -- to protect my own rights. The work in question is parody, which is considered speech, and is protected by the first amendment. For a parody to be at all effective, it logically must include the name and/or image of the objects or ideas being parodied. Since I am obviously not a corporate entity, and the work in question does not exist for the purpose of generating profit, and since the law offers more protection to non-commercial speech than commercial speech, I feel that I am completely within my rights.
Under normal circumstances, I would have been glad to reach a compromise and alter the work in such a way as to keep both of our interests in mind. However, your first course of action was to imply threat of legal ramifications should I not comply, which tells me that my interests are of no concern to you. Therefore, I believe your interests to be of no concern to me.
Furthermore, your concern that people may be confused by the document on my web site is ridiculous, since, outside of the name and an image that is quite obviously satirical in nature, there is no implied connection to your company. Even the copyright information, which is itself a joke, makes no mention of Wiley Publishing, Inc. It would take a person severely lacking in intellectual capacity to confuse my work for anything your company has published, which is ironic, considering that your books are marketed to people you refer to as "dummies". However, it is my audience that I write for, and for the nearly two years that this item has been available on my site, not one person has contacted me with any degree of confusion on the matter.
I can only assume that your intent was to scare me into complying. Perhaps you assumed that I was not familiar with the law or my rights, and I would simply give in. This is not the case. If you're willing to respect my rights and discontinue your reliance on litigious behavior, it would be both appreciated and noted to other free speech advocates. If not, I have no choice but to defend my rights.
Sincerely,
Nastard
The female orgasm. That old chestnut. Women love discussing their orgasms- when they first had them, how often they had them, and especially those lovers they've had who were unable to supply the totally orgasmic experience.
Women these days are wont to bemoan lovers who aren't able to "satisfy" them as if their satisfaction is even an issue. In actuality, the passing of genetic material and potential for fertilization is only dependent on the "satisfaction" of the male partner.
In short, ladies, it's not that we can't do it for ya. It's just that we don't CARE.
And put some reference like
:)
"It used to be called 'Slacking for Dummies' but since we realized it's a trademark, we renamed it to 'Slacking for Lawyers' just to keep consistent with the original idea..."
The definition in the article makes it sound like games where you pay for access to a third-party server (like Blizzard or whatever) are still banned as you would be "enriching" someone else.
If you're a zombie and you know it, bite your friend!
I remember seeing this book in bookstores a while back. Anyone else remember this?
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
I Agree With This P0st3Z
-- You are such a fucking fag
Since SlashBack is mostly just disparate posts, I thought I'd post a primer for those unfamiliar with the OGG format.
OGG is a music format created by Jan Vorbis in 1974. (Trivia: It was originally going to be called EGG, but Jan found out 'EGG' was already trademarked by Egg Corp.)
Jan initially developed the format to be a free source (and licence free) version of MP3. Using comp.lang.basic.misc, Jan rallied a large group of QBasic programmers into finalizing the protocol and releasing the first OGG encoder and player as QBasic source code (Trivia: This is why OGG encoding is so slow today as a simple BASIC -> C convertor was used to transvert the code for ports.)
The OGG format has since come on in leaps and bounds and is enjoying a reputation that only Pascal and the original Apple Mac once had.
In conclusion, most OGG users are quiche eating ponytailed geniuses who believe in free speech.
mogorific carpentry experiments
As you know, I received an email yesterday from Wiley Publishing, Inc., threatening legal action if I did not discontinue use of their trademark in the "Slacking for Dummies" document. It probably goes without saying, but the document is parody, which is protected as speech under the First Amendment. As such, I'm placed into a position of choice; I can bend over and take it from a corporation looking to litigate the little guy into complacency, or I can stand up and defend what I think is one of the best things about America.
I've done my share of complaining that free speech is being stripped away from us in increasingly larger chunks, and I've had a word or two to say about people who let that happen. Now that I find myself in a position to stand up for what I believe in, I have a moral obligation to do it.
Below is my reply to Kimberly of Wiley Publishing.
>>>
Dear Kimberly,
I've given serious thought to your request, and while, as an artist, I can appreciate your company's desire to protect it's intellectual property, I feel it is also my responsibility -- again, as an artist -- to protect my own rights. The work in question is parody, which is considered speech, and is protected by the first amendment. For a parody to be at all effective, it logically must include the name and/or image of the objects or ideas being parodied. Since I am obviously not a corporate entity, and the work in question does not exist for the purpose of generating profit, and since the law offers more protection to non-commercial speech than commercial speech, I feel that I am completely within my rights.
Under normal circumstances, I would have been glad to reach a compromise and alter the work in such a way as to keep both of our interests in mind. However, your first course of action was to imply threat of legal ramifications should I not comply, which tells me that my interests are of no concern to you. Therefore, I believe your interests to be of no concern to me.
Furthermore, your concern that people may be confused by the document on my web site is ridiculous, since, outside of the name and an image that is quite obviously satirical in nature, there is no implied connection to your company. Even the copyright information, which is itself a joke, makes no mention of Wiley Publishing, Inc. It would take a person severely lacking in intellectual capacity to confuse my work for anything your company has published, which is ironic, considering that your books are marketed to people you refer to as "dummies". However, it is my audience that I write for, and for the nearly two years that this item has been available on my site, not one person has contacted me with any degree of confusion on the matter.
I can only assume that your intent was to scare me into complying. Perhaps you assumed that I was not familiar with the law or my rights, and I would simply give in. This is not the case. If you're willing to respect my rights and discontinue your reliance on litigious behavior, it would be both appreciated and noted to other free speech advocates. If not, I have no choice but to defend my rights.
Sincerely,
Nastard
Slacking For Dummies
aka "Slacking HOWTO"
by Nastard
1.) INTRODUCTION
This document intends to provide the most accurate and up to date information on the art of slacking.
For all intents and purposes, it should be considered the defacto source for slacking information, and
the maintaining of ones own ability to slack.
1.1) History
This is the first distributed version of this document. Therefore there can be no history.
1.2) Comments
All comments regarding this document should be directed to nastard@nastard.com
1.3) Copyrights and Trademarks
All material henceforth contained within the boundaries, electronic or otherwise, of this document are
the property of SlackersGuild.com and its respective owners. Any attempt to steal, borrow, copy, plagiarize,
or otherwise rip off my work will result in the immediate legal action of our team of attack lawyers.
By downloading, reading, having read, or having someone read to you the contents of this document, you
agree to forfeit all of your worldly possessions, including any and all trademarks, patents, copyrights,
or other intellectual property you may own. You also agree to jump up and down twelve times while
patting your head and screeching like the little monkey that you are.
This document (c) 2000 SlackersGuild.com All Rights Reserved, so fuck you.
1.4) Acknowledgements
First off, I would like to thank myself for creating such a wonderful document, and being such a supportive
source of inspiration to myself. Thank you, me.
I would also like to thank:
batman
2.) TOOLS
2.1) Sunglasses
Never underestimate the power of hiding your eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. They can give
you away, or they bluff you out of a bad situation. They also close when you sleep. So, obviously, it
would make sense that hiding them can be an advantage.
2.2) Shoes/Clothing
There are two primary modes of slacking: Hiding It, and Not Giving A Shit. Bearing this in mind, clothing
is as important a tool to a slacker as a hammer is to a carpenter. If you are intent on hiding your slacking
and progressing through the corporate ladder undetected, it is best to look damn good, to counteract the
obvious slacking. Distraction is the key. If not giving a shit is more your style, then let it show. Get
some comfortable shoes, wear a bathrobe to work, and just say "fuck the dress code". You may as well be
comfortable during your (most likely short) stay at work.
2.3) The Joys of Nerf
Make no mistake about it, there will be others like you at your place of employment. Others who share your
love of fucking off instead of working. Utilize this, for when the shit hits the fan, and it probably will,
it's far better to have someone there with you to distribute the blame upon. The more employees involved, the
less guilty you look.
So what do you do to pass the time with co-workers? Well, you could talk to them, but that is more likely to
bore you than to help pass the time. So instead, I recommend that you bring toys. Nerf guns are the best.
You can bring other things, like laser-tag sets, or water pistols, but they are noisy and wet, respectively.
Check out http://www.nerf.com/ and http://www.toysrus.com/, these are the best places to get a good idea of
what you want for those epic Nerf battles on slow days.
2.4) Web-Based Slacking
If you are amongst the fortunate who have internet access at work, count yourself lucky. Working in fast food or
construction involves much more work, and seriously hinders your ability to slack, but it also takes away your
ability to spend countless hours staring at a monitor pretending to work.
So what do you do? Well, I doubt I need to tell you how much information there is out there on the net, but you
may not realize that there is an almost UNLIMITED amount of hours you can spend slacking using this tool. So,
USE IT. I recommend visiting sites with lots of content so you can immerse yourself in them. This helps to
pass the time.
Slackers Guild, Slashdot, and TheForce.net are my personal favorites, for there is so much to be read on each of
these sites. Also, they have user comment sections, which allow for others like you to contribute to the entertainment
of others. User comments are the bread and butter of sites that know how to utilize them, and are an exercise in slacking
in their own right. What better way to slack off and have your site boom than to have your users post the content
for you?
3.) GETTING STARTED
3.1) Why Slack?
Good question. No, wait, I take that back. It's a stupid question, and proves how new you are at this. At any
rate, I will answer it.
The benefits of slacking have been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by the scientific community time and time again.
Well, not really. In fact, you will probably get your ass fired if you don't do it right. But if you DO manage to do
it right, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you. Just think: No more hard labor. No more long tedious
projects. No more stress. No more concerns about how much effort you put into your work. Life is beautiful when you
slack. It allows you to put more time into doing the things you really love. Spending time with your loved ones
without being stressed out, watching TV, reading, and even sleeping better can all be achieved through proper slacking
techniques.
3.2) Microslacking
How do you get yourself into slacking mode? Well, if you are a hard working American, it may be hard for you. If you
are like me, and generally hate doing anything that doesn't directly benefit you or the people you actually care about,
slacking comes much easier.
If you find yourself in the first group, you may need a little practice before you jump into the slacker pool. That's
okay, you just need a little practice.
Start by doing little things. Take 10 minutes per day to just sit there. Gradually increase the time period as you get
used to it. Also, spend more time surfing the web. Pretty soon you will get lost in what you are doing and forget
work completely.
Another good way to get practice is to spend more time on smoke breaks. Have 2 smokes instead of just 1. Or, if you don't
smoke, start. The amount of money I have accumulated for being on extended smoke breaks could probably put your kids through
college. Or at least feed some starving kids.
Stay up later than you should. This way, you will be tired and lethargic through your work day. But don't fall asleep at
work. Not until you have mastered the art of slacking.
3.3) "I'd Rather Be..."
Every day, when you first get to work, ask yourself, "what would I rather be doing than spending time working?" When you
have satisfactorily answered yourself, DO IT. Whatever it is you would rather be doing, spend your time and energy on that.
I personally like to read, and I get a lot of reading
done at work. In fact, the amount of literature I've gone through while on the clock would put your local library to shame.
Some people might say "I'd rather be rock climbing". Well, for a very select few, this might be a viable option. For the
rest of us, its probably not a good idea. Besides, cubicles offer very little in the way of jagged rocks. Instead, read
up on it. Learn about it. Make plans to do it on your time off. Even better, use your works' internet connection to
order items related to your favorite outdoor activities.
4.) BETTER LIVING THROUGH SLACKING
4.1) Incorporating Slacking Into Your Personal Life
Using these slacking techniques in your day-to-day life is actually very easy. Just do what you want to do. Screw mowing
the lawn, I wanna watch TV. Screw doing the dishes, I wanna watch Mallrats for the 800th time. It's just as easy as
slacking at work. Just take what you don't want to do, and replace it with something you DO want to do.
4.2) Lying to Friends and Family to Avoid Favors
Have you ever been asked by a friend or family member to do something you just didn't *feel* like doing?
"I need you to take me to the airport"
"Can you help me move?"
"Would you mind killing my father for me?"
Why waste your time helping others, when you could spend that time indulging in self-serving activities like watching porn?
Well, you don't have to. That's right, no more favors. Just follow these easy steps.
Step 1: Come up with a damn good lie. It wouldn't hurt to have a prefabricated list ahead of time.
Step 2: Check your lie. Nothing will get you in more trouble than getting caught in a lie.
Step 3: BELIEVE YOUR LIE. No single step is as important as this one. If *you* don't believe your lie, why should anyone else?
Step 4: Follow through with your lie. Allude back to it later on, and hint at portions of the lie. Don't lay it on too thick,
just enough to remove any thoughts that you may have been lying.
I certainly don't advocate lying about everything. I am obviously referring to laziness and work avoidance here, not covering up
a murder or cheating on your spouse/partner/loved one. There's a line between little white lies to get out of work, and a cold
blooded lie. Please lie responsibly.
4.3) Inviting Others to Slack With You
They say misery loves company. Well, so does apathy. Slacking is fun enough alone, but when you get a friend to join
you, it elevates to a whole new level. Here's a few tips on choosing a slacking mate:
Beware of friends who seem to enjoy their jobs. It's fine for someone to like what they do, perhaps even admirable. But
these people are most likely to try to convince you to do work. The last thing you need while slacking is a good influence.
Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT bring children into your slacking adventures. Children have the nasty
habit of being honest, and that could mean your ass.
Watch your slack mate. See what they do. You will learn, fairly quickly, what lines you shouldn't cross. Slacking with
friends is great, but remember, unless this person is a very trustworthy friend, they could sell your ass out at any time
if you do something worse than what they have done. Be careful not to overstep that line
4.4) Slacking for Fun and Profit
Slacking is always fun, that's a given. What about profit? Is it possible to actually make extra money by doing it? Sure.
There are plenty of ways to do it, all you need is to look. All Advantage pays you to surf, and if you remember, we covered
earlier how important surfing is to slacking. Set up an AllAdvantage account at work, and have the checks sent to your
home. If you can convince a few co-workers to sign up with you as their referrer, this can add up *very* quickly.
Another option is to start a comment-based website and collect ad revenue. I would
recommend visiting www.slashdot.org for an excellent example of this.
5.) GETTING AWAY WITH IT
5.1) Looking Busy
There's no such thing as looking too busy. The busier you look, the more people will believe that you are an upstanding,
hardworking employee worthy of praise. A technique I recommend is one I like to call the "Costanza". On NBC's Seinfeld,
George once pointed out how busy people thought he was when he simply looked irritated. I use this one *constantly*,
and let me tell you, it works. Coincidentally, I also wear a lot of black. And a black trench coat. It may seem retarded,
but I will tell you, there is a noticeable difference in the way I am treated when I have my coat on, than when I don't.
It really helps to make me look pissed off.
Another way to go is to look confused. If you look perplexed over some problem or another, even if you are literally
just staring at a wall, others will either leave you alone, or offer to help. If they offer to help, just explain that
you have it under control, and a solution is more satisfying when you reach it without assistance. This goes a LONG way
towards making you look like a good worker.
5.2) Knowing When To Slack
As with many things, there is a right and wrong time to slack. If your boss is gone and you are left to fend for yourself,
go all out with a Nerf gun fight. If the company's owner is standing right behind you, you probably shouldn't be looking at
porn sites (or this site). Use your good judgment here.
5.3) Excuses
Touching back on the subject of lying, excuses are a huge part of slacking. If you get caught, do you want to be stuttering
all over the place and looking like a jackass, or do you want to quickly explain yourself and get on with what you were doing?
I can guess which way you would answer that. Have an excuse prepared ahead of time. Recite it. Know it. BELIEVE it.
The best defense is a good offense. This is also true with excuses. If you get caught or accused of slacking, come back
with some accusations of your own. The accuser will immediately be put on the defense, and completely forget why they ever
even bothered you. Or at least regret it. Use this one with caution, you don't want to look like a jackass.
6.) GETTING AHEAD BY DOING NOTHING
6.1) Taking Credit for Other People's Work
SlackersGuild.com (us) runs slashcode. I assure you, I did NOT write slashcode. I didn't help write slashcode. I was
barely able to install slashcode. This is a great example of using someone else's work as your own.
The one thing I will say about this is DON'T BE STUPID. Please don't be an idiot and take credit for someone's hard
work while they are sitting right next to you. Only morons and soap opera characters do this. There is a line between
taking credit and stealing, and we certainly don't advocate stealing. Borrow, recycle, and reinvent all you like, but
please do not steal.
6.2) Feigning Interest In What Others Have to Say
Three words: smile and nod.
6.3) Surviving Meetings
A true slacker knows how to look interested and important while surrounded with peers and superiors. That being said,
here are a few things you can work on to survive, and even look good, in meetings:
- Ask questions. I'm not saying pay attention, I'm just saying ask questions. The best way to do this is to rephrase
what the speaker just said, throwing in lots of colorful adjectives and big words.
- Bring a pad and paper. Don't let anyone see what you are writing, but keep your pen moving. It gives the appearance
that you are taking notes.
- If you own a palm device (like the Handspring Visor - http://www.handspring.com/), take it into the meeting with you.
Even if you are drawing pictures or sending email, it makes you look busy and cool.
6.4) Being an "Idea Man"
This is my favorite step. It's so easy to extrapolate where a suit is going when he/she is talking and jump to the conclusion
before they do. If you pull it off, they will almost think that you came up with the idea, or at least get the impression
that you are on the same wavelength as them, which is guaranteed to make them like you. Everyone likes their own ideas,
especially corporate types. Use this.
If you have an idea, no matter how stupid, tell your boss. It makes you look interested and concerned in the direction the
company is going. Brownie points abound for even the lamest of ideas. If it's a good idea, you are almost guaranteed a
promotion and/or raise.
7.) OBTAINING MORE INFORMATION
For more information, visit the main page of www.slackersguild.com. We are constantly updating and adding more resources for
slackers and slackers-in-training. The user comments are also a good place to look for information. Chances are, someone has
an idea or point that I have missed here.
Shut the fuck up.
Is it possible that a Wiley's employee may have read this, found it funny, and decided to "test the waters"?
This almost seems like a parody of a parody...
Also, did anyone check to make sure the e-mail headers weren't forged?
I still have that domain in my /etc/hosts file from when it was a browser-crashing gay porn redirect, ~2 years ago. Are they legit now? What's next, the goatse.cx people doing a network security site?
"I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq"
-- Paul Wolfowitz, 7/21/2003
does anyone have the quick answer for how idg contiues to get away with this.
they're well predated by Auto Repair For Dummies, which got the idea from Plumbing For Dummies, never mind a handful of other titles from the swinging sixties.
has that got nothing to do with US trademark law. that branch of gov't is as clueless as the patent office?
do tell.
Shit I have cpu cycles to burn. I have used TwoFish ever since I studied the AES challenge. It it obviously superior, and under much less scrutiny as well.
Clickety Click
On a more Darwinistic note, I was at the book store a while back and saw "Sex for Dummies" and "Parenting for Dummies." No joke. They must be concerned that natural attrition of their customer base (*Cough*Evolution for Dummies*cough*) could potentially be adjusted for via this method. I'm surprised Microsoft hasn't hit upon a breeding program yet -- I had high hopes for DNA but that didn't seem to go anywhere.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I guess I'll trademark:
"* [fF][oO][rR] [dD][uU][mM][mM][iI][eE][sS]", excluding the subset that they claim.
Now's where I get the profit, right?
Okay, so I'm tired.
One of the metrics used to decide trademark cases it "the possibility of confusion" - the likelyhood that the alleged infringer may be mistaken for the infringed by the customers of the infringed.
Remember the target market of the "? for Dummies" books - people so stupid that they are willing to buy books calling them Dummies.
Perhaps there are grounds for this case...
<subtitle target="clueless">sarcasm</subtitle>
www.eFax.com are spammers
Well, I guess this explains why I can't ping my server. Hopefully things will be sane again in the relatively near future.
:P
I had considered just giving in and changing it to something like "Slacking for People Who Are As Retarded as Those Dumb Fucks at Wiley Publishing," but I realized I'd been given a chance to stand up for what so many of us spend a good deal complaining about - free speech.
As you can see in my response letter (thanks to those who posted it here), I did decide to stand up for myself. I just hope I did the right thing.
Thanks to those of you who actually managed to get to the site, to those of you who might try back later, and thanks a lot to Blue Aardvark House for GETTING THE FUCKING SERVER SLASHDOTTED.
Since I can pretty much count on my ISP being none-to-thrilled with the traffic, if anyone happens to feel like making a donation towards covering the damage of the slashDoS (or, god forbid, legal costs), we accept Paypal
Let them hear it
To:
Kimberly Ward Skeel
Manager, Contracts and Intellectual Property
Wiley Publishing, Inc.
Dear Kimberly,
It recently came to my attention that you are, on behalf of Wiley Publishing Inc. threatening the creator and maintainer of some creative works on a certain website, www.slackersguild.com with legal action due to what you state to be infringing on your "For dummies" trademark.
I can appreciate your company's desire to protect it's intellectual property, but I feel it is also my responsibility to guard my, and others, right to free speech when it is challenged and threatened in a frivolous way by corporations or goverment.
I feel in the case of "Slacking For Dummies", aka "Slacking HOWTO" by Nastard, located at the website www.slackersguild.com, there is no risk of confusing the satiric works with the popular series of books you publish. Therefore your claim that it is infringing on your trademark is, in my eyes, ridiculous.
As a result, I can guarantee that I will not support your company in any way by purchasing your products.as long as you seem intent on persuing this or similar matters by trying to deny the creator his or her right to free speech by frivolous threats of legal action. I will also strongly urge anyone concerned to not purchase any of your products should they value their own, and the right of others, to free speech.
Wax-Museum Fire Results In Hundreds Of New Danny DeVito Statues
Of course, as with all "breaks" of cryptographic algorithms out there, the Courtois-Pieprzyk XL/XSL attack on AES was nothing but an academic break. From what I heard of it, to break a 128-bit AES key you still need to do approximately 2^100 encryptions, 1.26e30 encryptions, which is impossible even for the NSA. For Serpent (which is still widely considered to be the AES candidate with the highest security margin), the 256-bit key would still require something like 2^200 encryptions, still impossible unless you could get every sub-atomic particle in the universe to do a billion encryptions every second! I think the same is true if you had AES with the full key strength.
No, even if the breaks were true, I'd still be confident in the security of my AES-encrypted files. I'd start thinking of other alternatives, sure, but I won't go back to using triple-DES.
Qu'on me donne six lignes écrites de la main du plus honnête homme, j'y trouverai de quoi le faire pendre.
ogg for portables!!! Not only any portable, but from the same company that brought you the SlimX.
From here:
This morning (2:28am, EDT), I received an E-mail from Y.H. Lee, the Chief Engineer of iRiver's products. He has informed me that they are currently porting the fixed-point Ogg Vorbis decoder (Tremor) to their product. We will endeavour to assist them in any way we can.
In addition to letting iRiver know that we stand behind them ready to assist with technical issues, I believe a huge thanks is in order to the people who have contacted iRiver asking them to support our format. We're indebted to all of you who have posted looking for Vorbis support on this thread, as well as all of you who have sent iRiver E-mails and called them on the telephone.
Let's wait and see...and encode away boys and girls.
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.
Actually i'm in Australia.... I got to see them once (on the "are you normal?" tour)..
I remember a t-shirt from the God Fodder tour in Australia, on the front it had "Did you see Ned's Atomic Dustbin?" with their nuke symbol and on the back it had in large large print "WELL YOU FUCKED UP".... I always wanted one of them...
Anyway...... I noticed your nick... is that another ned's reference?
----- One piece short of Legoland
www.linuxisforbitches.com - suck it. funny how you care about a trademark you can not affect... and, what's this "we" shit? dumb cocksucker...
I completely agree that realplayer is a hideous spyware tracking application (with built in media player) and and its audio/video quality leaves a lot to be desired but there is a way for windows users to view realplayer files without needing to open realplayer
I found this this winamp plugin enables Winamp (v.2.x) to play realaudio/video streams , the downside is it still needs a copy of realplayer on the system as it uses realplayer's dll's to perform the decompression but the bonus is i no longer need to open that hideous RealPlayer application ever again. Now all we need to do is either persuade every website to stop using realmedia streams or reverse engineer the protocol and create a alternative way to decompress the real protocol/system so people no-longer need to install Real in order to listen/view their streams
it might be an idea for the XMMS people to contact this guy/company and see if they could pass on the knowledge so *nix systems could benefit too
Thanks for the link! Too bad I don't have mod points now. This deserves a +1, Funny.
Seriously, if people writing trademark letters look like dicks, and thus easy targets, it's because the law says they have to, in much the same way that if a neighbor builds a swingset on part of your property and you don't say anything, eventually that land becomes their property.
So it should be expected that they would send such a letter (and thus shouldn't draw such an injured reply), and it should be expected that SlackersGuild should reply with the (legitimate) response that it is parody. Yawn, on to the next issue. The interest here isn't whether lawyers are asses for sending letters, it's whether Wiley as a company will willingly outspend Nastard for something that's clearly not worth their time to push. But don't call them dicks for sending the letter in the first place; blame the law. And if they bury SlackersGuild in litigation, then call them rapacious bastards.
by Kimberly Ward Skeel
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/09/26/172624 0&mode=thread&tid=167
(return link to this thread...don't bother c&p'ing.)
Is this really the kind of publicity that Wiley publishing is interested in? I understand the need to protect trademarks lest they become public domain, but considering how many of your titles deal with technology issues, perhaps pursuing web sites engaged in what clearly seems to be protected speech, namely satire, is not your best public relations plan. To clarify, I'm not associated with the site in question, but I am aware of the many ridiculous lawsuits (by many companies) which seek to limit users' rights online, as are many Slashdot readers.
Additionally, to begin such a correspondence with a threat of legal action rather than seeking a mutual settlement is heavy handed and unnecessary. While it is by no means my place to tell you how to conduct your business or legal affairs, I reward those companies which conduct business in a respectable manner with my business. Pending a change in tone and tactics by Wiley, I shall have to find other places to spend my money. Such a change would be made most evident in ceasing to pursue the matter with slackersguild.com as well as a note of apology for the tone taken in the initial contact. I'm sure the moderators at slashdot.org would be more than happy to carry such news to help offset the negative publicity that this matter has generated for Wiley.
Thank you for your time, and I hope to be able to do business with you in the future.
The worst is over, thanks to Timothy changing the links. We seem to be back online. Please be kind.
Someone should write "Parodies For Dummies" setting out the legal protection for parodies in various countries. Then everybody would have some knowledge to protect them from legal insanity.
To protect their "valuable" property all Whiley need ask is for there to be an obvious statement on the parody pointing to the terminally humorless that IT'S A JOKE YOU DUMMY.
(Is anyone else seeing off topic postings in this area?)
I read the the paper on the attack, and the paper on the flaw in the attack. I even understood most of it (for a suitably generous definition of "most", chuckle).
The first paper explains that they discovered an unsuspected pattern in certain encryptions, AES (Rijndael), Serpent, and some others. They use this pattern to create a thousands of equations that, combined, define the password. Solving this may be lot simpler than a brute force attack on the encryption, but it is still a HARD problem. When I say "HARD" I mean it's just as hard as many other encryptions. Government spooks might be able to pull it off with further development and custom hardware, but probably not the hacker next door.
Except, right now, the attack doesn't seem to actually work. They need a certain number of pieces to a puzzle, and according to the second paper they don't quite have enough. While it is probably a fatal flaw, it is unlikely to be a permanent flaw. The pattern is there, and it's quite possible someone will add more pieces to make the puzzle work, or may find a different way to use the pattern.
To sum it up, we can probably keep using these encryptions, though people at a "national security" level might want to consider the first paper's suggestions about how to eliminate the patterns.
-
- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
I'd imagine the New Zealand doctors' union had its head similarly up its arse.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
--Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
1) Never post using your real name. That's what that handy 'Anonymous Coward' user is there for !
2) As soon as a new story appears on the front page, quickly post 'First Post'. If you get too excited and spell 'First Post' wrong, well, who cares, hey you're a troll ! Of course by the time you hit submit, you will likely be sixth or seventh post anyway. But who cares ! If you took the advice in step 1), you can just pretend you were one of the other Anonymous Cowards with a 'Frist P0st'.
3) There are a number of extremely hilarious tricks you can do to the formatting of your message: you can make it extra wide, or really long. Everyone on Slashdot will appreciate your fine wit, and will show their gratitude by marking you as a troll !
4) It is not necessary to make your troll be related to the story being discussed. Random text is very very funny, as are articles cut and pasted from something totally unrelated.
5) Extra points are awarded for swearing, calling people 'Linux Zealots' and claiming that well known horror/sci-fi writer Stephen King is dead.
By following these simple rules, you too can troll Slashdot !! Have fun !
The workings of Greek courts however do seem to be simian in operation, as the original court decision to rule the law unconstitional was otherthrown for some mysteerious reason (can we say Politics interfering in the law?) by a higher court and set for a retrial until the Government decided the law was silly after all.
Any country that regards an invited group of planespotters as spies, including a granny knitting in the minibus, definitely has to get the legal system examined.
The comments about the fact that anyone may start a casino in the US are not strictly true, as I believe Gaming Commissions do regulate who may work in casinos since the bad old days of the 50's and 60's when the Mafia owned some of them. But the comments about using a was to revitalise the economy are probably dead on target - it's a trick as old as time to use foreign wars to distract people from the crappy situation at home.
Donte Alistair Anderson Roberts - hi son!
Karma: Chameleon
But I did see their "Self-Esteem for Dummies".
That could only be published by complete dummies.
Eventually, the damn thing just gets so circular I can't think about it anymore.
-Styopa
Great. Now that I know IDG==WILEY, I won't buy Wiley books either. If they respond further to Nester's letter all he has to do is point them at this website, Ulysses for Dummies, and tell them to buzz off. That site has been up for 4 years. Judges tend to see through this kind of bullshit and hammer lawyers doing this kind of inconsistent crap.
Corporate Standover Tactics for Dummies
Hopefuly somebody will read this deep and mod you up.
Ideally, the point of Everybody encrypting their email is that the the FBI/CIA, et. al will go to great lengths and many cpu cycles to unencrypt email which is highly likely of being boring drivel.
If everything that is encrypted is illegal or just plain sick, then it would very much be worth the time to unencrypt ALL email which was encrypted.
Do us ALL a favor and encrypt ALL your email. This way, the government won't be efficient or successful in controlling [free] speech.
You're just one of those people who love to give up their 1st and 4th amendment rights and agree to be searched every 10 feet/10 minutes because you "have nothing to hide". That's the true cop-out, implying that anybody that wants to encrypt or keep their car/home/body/urine from being searched is a criminal.
Moderation Totals: Redundant=1, Informative=3, Total=4.
Interesting, seeing as how this was the first posted link to the cache. It's even more interesting that the later-arriving dupe of this post is not marked as redundant.
A rather less politely-worded letter was sent to the maintainer of ... for Dummies" series will just have to learn to live with it.'
Ulysses for Dummies,
a spoof of Joyce's novel, back in 1998. The hilarious and thorough reply concluded,
'Frankly, we're going to keep the site just as it is, and the successful IDG Books "
Some people... it boggles the mind.
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance" - Derek Bok
Perhaps people should publish that slacking guide and distribute copies of it to every employee at a target corporation you wish to disrupt. Of course the downside is that some of the managers may know what to look for when their employees utilize it. Boy would it be nice to suddenly have a huge group of a company start slacking and disrupt the hell out of it's business though.
I don't have a sig, can I borrow yours?
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there
is an exception to every rule. If we accept "For every rule there is an
exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception
after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of
exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
-- Bill Boquist
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