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IBM Flushes Restroom Patent
jdkane writes "As reported in this CNet news article IBM has quietly eliminated a patent it received on a method for determining who gets to use the bathroom next.
I say Kudos to IBM because it is a relief (no pun intended) to see some common sense prevail in the patent news.
A funny quote from the article is "But just because the patent office granted this and other questionable patents doesn't mean the system is broken".;)"
dedicated to my main man triple t, aiiiight
maybe?
fp or sp
Do the two fags wanting to do some scatting and blowing fit into the queue?
In the article it describes what has been used in low tech meat counters ever since I can remember.
Stupid things kids do.
Linux faces a bleak future. In fact there may be no future at all for Linux because Linux is dying. Things are looking very bad for Linux. As many of us are already aware, Linux continues to lose market share; red ink flows like a river of blood. Slackware Linux is perhaps the most in endangered. Let's look at the numbers.
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MandrakeSoft's CEO Henri Poole states that there are 70000 users of Linux-Mandrake. How many users of Debian GNU/Linux are there? Let's see. The number of Linux-Mandrake versus GNU/Linux posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. The refore there are about 70000/5 = 14000 GNU/Linux users. Slackware posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of GNU/Linux posts. Therefore there are about 7000 users of Slackware. A recent article put RedHat Linux at about 80 percent of the Linux market. Therefore there are (70000+14000+7000)*4 = 364000 RedHat Linux users. This is consistent with the number of RedHat Linux Usenet posts.
Now Linux companies are consolidating, overhauling their business plans, laying off staff, scaling back expansion plans and pushing back profitability schedules. "It would seem there are too many distributions for the market to bear," said Gartner analyst Tom Henkel. (http://www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/news/0,4586,26
Red Hat, Inc., the leader in developing deploying and managing open source linux solutions, announced on a reported basis, a net loss of $24.2 million. (http://linuxtoday.com/news_story.php3?ltsn=2001-
Turbolinux, based in Brisbane, Calif., a Linux-based software provider has withdrawn a $60 million initial public offering "in light of current market conditions." (http://biz.yahoo.com/rf/010320/n20215287_2.html) (http://cnnfn.cnn.com/2001/03/20/deals/ipo/)
Clayton-based Linuxgruven.com, a Linux training and service company with 106 employees, laid off 100 employees (http://stlouis.bcentral.com/stlouis/stories/2001
Lineo withdrew its initial public offering in January. Caldera Systems delayed the acquisition of Santa Cruz Operations' Unix software by a quarter. Linuxcare laid off dozens in February, with Linuxcare co-founders Dave Sifry and Dave LaDuke are among those departing. VA Linux Systems cut 114 people in February and delayed its expected profitability by nine months. (http://www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/news/0,4586,26
Due to the troubles of Corel, abysmal sales and so on, Corel Linux is going out of business and was nearly taken over by Microsoft who sell another troubled OS. Owing to the GPL, SuSE is laying off almost all of its US staff. Major marketing surveys show that Linux has steadily declined in market share. Even LinuxWorld.com shut down "because of the economy and everything else" (http://www.newsforge.com/article.pl?sid=01/03/13
TuxRacer going closed source and commerical shows how, when it comes down to money, Linux doesn't cut it.
Linux is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Linux is to survive at all it will be among OS hobbyists (i.e. those who dabble with Minix, Xinu, etc). Linux continues to falter. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Linux is dead.
Kyle was a typical Slashdot reader: young, acne-ridden, and full of dreams. And, as a Subway(TM) Sandwich Artist(TM), he was charged with the responsibility of closing up the West El Camino Real store. Outside, SUVs sped by in the night.
The official closing time was in ten minutes, but Kyle was already busy wrapping up the rest of the unused processed cheese triangles so he could get outta there right quick. He was daydreaming of playing Micro$oft's "Age of Empires" against his heroes, Hemos and Rob Malda, when he heard the front door close. As he looked up, he saw a forty-something executive in Clairol Tempted Peach® hair and a navy business suit stride in.
"One Veggie-Tastic® sub with extra spicy mustard."
His eyes travelled from the "HP INVENT" brooch on her lapel down to the low-cut gauze passing as her blouse. He could see the outline of a Maidenform® just below the surface.
"The American economy is moving from commodity products to high value-add services, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU! Let's get crackin', Pointdexter!"
Kyle reached for a loaf of oven-fresh® bread, but before he could pick it up, the customer snatched it up and slapped him across his left temple. He reeled from the blow, falling to his knees.
The next instant the customer had lept the counter and got a hold of two fistfulls of his styling-gelled hair. "Sniff momma's coochie!"
Stunned, Kyle lurched forward, shoving his greasy nose into her tight dry-cleaned skirt.
"MY NAME IS CARLY FUCKIN' FIORINA AND I'M HERE TO MAKE YOU MY BITCH!"
Kyle slipped his head up her skirt and began lapping hungrily. "Age of Empires" would have to wait. Groaning, the customer leaned back onto the countertop, one hand gripping a stray cucumber, the other resting lightly upon her heaving bosoms. She clumsily fumbled at his pants with her feet, managing to get them halfway off. Kyle began to lick and nibble his way down the already moistened slit of her pussy. His tongue catching the rock hard bud of her clitoris with rapid flickering motions, making her hips jerk with pleasure in front of him. They danced vertically in this way until the customer orgasmed, her pussy quite swollen from his ministrations clenching and contracting so that he could actually feel it with his tongue as he slid it inside her.
Suddenly the customer let out an intense scream, bucked forward, and in one deft motion, crammed the cucumber as far as she could into Kyle's rectum!
AMERICA NEEDS A REGIME CHANGE _NOT_ IRAQ!
yes i'm fucking yelling you god damn slashcode!
America is about to launch an invasion to conquest oil so yes i'm fucking yelling!
Holy shit patent.
You might laugh now about this patent, but I work in Operations Research and such data is vitally important for many businesses. The required number and size of the stalls must determinded a priori and well-timed refill of toilet paper is extremely important from a logistics/cost point of view. Makashura and Miller have proven this optimizing problem NP-hard and the IBM patent contains an appromation algorithm with a garantueed maximum error of 1/5 of the original cost which is very good. If the PR deparment of IBM wouldn't be so stupid the would make BIG bucks with this patent.
It seems that they make the same error here which they made with the personal computer: letting things go without enough patent coverage, giving the rise to power competitors like Microsoft or Compaq. Not very clever.
Owner of a Mensa membership card.
It's Slashdot. Impeach Malda!
The best suggestion I saw on /. was to pay examiners for each application they could reject.
Another one: patents should be backed up by significant and provable documentation of the actual invention process.
Finally, there should be a bounty (payable by the patenter) for anyone able to break a patent by proving prior art.
The alternative is going to be a general constipation of innovation in those countries that allow software patents.
My blog
SUMMARY
A need therefore exists for an apparatus, system, and method for providing reservations for restroom use in places such as on an airplane, a passenger train or boat where safety concerns exist.
Isn't this situation called "I can't wait any longer, I have to go now"??? And the apparatus in question would be to just stand-up and queue for the bathroom use?
Chapter 4:
The men took Nicholas to a crowded seedy restaurant downtown. Due to his near nudity and provocative shorts, Nicholas was often looked at by men and women. He drew many whistles and appreciative glances. He felt uncomfortable as the eyes of many people roamed to his crotch.
The men made sure that he had a full dinner with lots of drinks, which he paid for, since they had his wallet.
After dinner, they headed to a downtown gay bar. Nicholas had never in his life stepped into this kind of neighbourhood and could immediately sense the tension in the air when he entered. He knew
that the eyes of practically every man was on him. It never occurred to him that this was how he often viewed women.
The men made him drink lots of beer till his bladder was bursting. Nicholas was reluctant to go to the toilet in such a seedy establishment and resorted to hold his bladder. He crossed his legs
in an effort to control himself but Jim noticed.
"What's up, Nicky?" he asked.
Nicholas hated having his name shortened. He shook his head and mumbled something.
"I noticed that you've been sitting like that for some time. Something wrong?" Mike joined in.
"I'm fine." Nicholas replied.
"Ok then, let's get us another round of beers." Tom said.
Since they were sitting at the table, he said to Nicholas, "Here's some change. Go get us the beers."
Nicholas resented being treated like a servant and grumbled before getting up. His bladder felt very full as he walked through the crowded bar. He jumped in surprise and nearly peed in his shorts when someone grabbed his ass. The bartender eyed him appreciatively, before giving him two beers.
"I said three!" Nicholas told him.
"Yeah but you ain't got enough money kid!" he retorted.
"Shit!" Nicholas swore and returned to the table with the drinks.
"Where's my beer?" Jim asked him.
"You didn't give me enough money!" Nicholas complained.
"Too bad Jim." Tom said and gulped his beer.
Jim sat there annoyed but it didn't take long before the others had
finished theirs.
"Shit, I need to take a piss badly." Mike said.
"Yeah so do I." Tom added.
The three men got up and started walking towards the toilets. Not wanting to be left behind alone, Nicholas got up quickly and followed them.
"No Nicky, you stay here." Jim said to him.
"But I need to go to the toilet." Nicholas said anxiously.
"Come on, you can hold on." Mike said and squeezed Nicholas' cock through the shorts.
"Please guys, don't leave me here alone!" Nicholas begged.
"Shut up and stay here. We won't be long." Tom said as the men turned around.
Nicholas sat there with his legs crossed, waiting anxiously for the men to return. Several men walked by and glanced at him, especially
his naked chest. He felt his heart thump heavily, afraid that some unwanted stranger might proposition him. Just as that thought occurred to him, a dark haired, moustached man came up to him.
He sat down next to Nicholas and said, "Hiya babe. Wanna fuck?"
"N...No..." Nicholas said, looking for the other men.
"Pretty thing like you sitting here all alone... let's go to my place now." The man placed his hand on Nicholas' crotch and whispered in his ear.
Nicholas immediately drew away from the man, but the man edged closer to him. He placed both hands on Nicholas' shoulders and kissed him.
When Nicholas broke off in mid-kiss, he got angry.
"I'm getting tired of this hard-to-get business." He said.
"I'm not interested. Get lost!" Nicholas told him.
"I don't take no for an answer." The man growled as he grabbed Nicholas' balls roughly.
Nicholas and him struggled for a few minutes, accidentaly toppling over a glass of beer on the table. To Nicholas' horror, the beer spilled onto the crotch of his white shorts. A growing stain began to form, making the white material transparent. The man laughed at Nicholas who quickly stood up.
"Oh well, maybe not. There're plenty of asses out there." The man said, then got up and left.
Several patrons were staring at Nicholas' crotch. He blushed uncomfortably and ran to the toilets. The stench of piss nearly made Nicholas throw up. He felt utterly sick and disgusted at the
conditions of the toilets. There were phone numbers, obscene words
and pictures scrawled on the white tiled walls.
The three men had just finished.
"Peed in your pants?" Mike asked, when they saw the wet patch.
"No, I... ah... need to pee now... please." Nicholas said.
"Sure, go ahead." Tom said, still eyeing him.
Nicholas tried to get his cock out the side of his shorts but because
they were so tight, he couldn't. Reluctantly, he had to lower his
shorts but they were also very tight. Seeing his dilemma, Mike yanked
down Nicholas' shorts to his thighs, leaving his whole genitals and
ass exposed.
Nicholas was determined to do the deed quickly. Just as he released a
stream of piss, he heard footsteps.
A new voice said, "Whooee, what a tight looking ass we've got here!"
"Oh yeah? How much do you think he's worth?" Jim said.
Nicholas blushed. He couldn't see who it was, but the fact that they
were discussing him like a piece of meat disgusted him completely.
"Turn around and let the man see ya!" Tom said.
Nicholas hadn't finished pissing at that very moment and did not obey
Tom.
"Aw come on!" Tom said impatiently and grabbed him by the shoulders.
He was standing to Nicholas' right and quickly spun the blonde around.
Nicholas was taken by surprise and accidentally let go of his cock.
Immediately, piss streamed onto the floor, some wetting his sneakers
and many drops falling onto his white tights.
"Shit, kid's pretty small!" The stranger exclaimed as he eyed
Nicholas' cock.
By now he had finished pissing and wanted to pull up his tights the
stranger was standing infront of him. Nicholas had a good look at
him. He was about 6'4", black and his muscles bulged out of his white
T-shirt. Nicholas did not like the look of the huge bulge in his
tight jeans.
"50 for his ass." the black man said grabbing Nicholas' cock.
"No way man. His ass is cherry. It's worth much more." Mike
responded.
The black man raised his eyebrows in interest. Here was a pretty
blonde with a cherry ass. He wasn't about to pass up this
opportunity. He squeezed the cock hard then let it go.
"How do I know you're telling the truth? Maybe, this here is your
pussy boy, and you sell him every night." he said to the men.
"You'll know when you fuck him." Tom said.
"How about 500?" Jim offered.
Nicholas was getting nervous. The men appeared very serious about
prostituting him.
"Guys, I don't think..." he started saying but was cut off by a slap
in the face from Jim.
"Shut up kid!" Jim growled.
"Kid doesn't seem to like this, guys." The black man said.
"He's just pretending." Tom smiled. "So, you paying or what?"
"Yeah, there are lots of dudes out there who'd give anything to fuck
this kid!" Jim grabbed Nicholas' cock and pulled down just to
emphasis.
"Ok, I want him, but first I gotta check out his so-called cherry."
The black man said.
Immediately the three men forced Nicholas to bend over and over his
protests, exposed his ass to the stranger. Mike parted his asscheeks
to reveal the pink asshole, surrounded by several blonde strands of
hair. Nicholas' asshole was tightly closed, and he felt utterly
degraded to be forced to expose himself like this.
"100 more for a blow job." Mike said to the black man.
"Shit, I'll take the whole lot!" The black man said excitedly.
"Another 100 for rimming." Jim added.
Nicholas was let go and he pulled up his tights. Jim held out his
hand and the black man paid him in cash. He then placed his arm
around Nicholas. The enormous size of the muscular arm scared
Nicholas and he shivered slightly, but the man drew him to his chest.
"Let's go someplace nicer." He said.
"The kid belongs to us." Tom said suddenly. "We can't just let you
take him."
"A deal's a deal, guys. Don't worry, my car's just outside this bar.
I just wanna get cozy there..." he said as he squeezed Nicholas'
crotch and dragged him out of the toilets and out of the bar.
Tom, Mike and Jim followed them. Nicholas was so scared and started
begging the man to let him go. There was no way he could fight this
huge guy off... and he didn't want to get fucked.
"See, there it is." The black man pointed at a white limo. "And my
driver ain't around, so you won't have to worry." he opened the door
to the driver seat to show them.
"Ok, take your time, but we'll be waiting." Jim said.
"Guys, please don't..." Nicholas protested but was cut off by the man
placing his large hand around his mouth.
"Shhhh baby, you're gonna love this!" he whispered in Nicholas' ear.
Chapter 5:
The interior of the limo was quite spacious and plush-looking. The
black man immediately ripped off Nicholas' shorts and removed his
shoes.
He placed a large hand at the back of Nicholas' head to push him
towards himself and kissed him on the lips. Nicholas was so shocked
at the foreign feel of another man that at first he did not do
anything. Then he struggled and tried to pull away but the other man
held him tightly. Using his free hand, he pinched and twisted
Nicholas' nipples till they were swollen.
When Nicholas finally broke free of the man, he got a shock as the man
unzipped his jeans and took out his limp cock. Even flaccid, it had
to be at least 10 inches long, thick and veiny. Nicholas stared in
dreadful horror as he realise that that monster would be forced up his
ass!
"Take it in your mouth." The man said.
Nicholas shook his head and clamped his mouth shut. The black man
pushed his head down roughly then one hand grabbed Nicholas exposed
balls and yanked down hard on them.
"I said, suck on it, boy!" he growled.
Scared of the man, Nicholas immediately opened his mouth to suck on
the huge cockhead. He could smell a mixture of piss and sweat as his
face was near the man's groin. The man placed his hand at the back of
Nicholas' head and pushed his face downwards so that more of his cock
was forced into the blonde's mouth. Nicholas struggled and mumbled
but couldn't spit it out.
"Aw, that feels good baby." The man exclaimed as Nicholas' pink lips
were stretched to the max and his mouth engulfed the big black cock.
Changing his position such that Nicholas was now lying down on his
back, the black man straddled the blonde. He began to thrust roughly
into Nicholas' mouth, enjoying the blonde's look of desperation and
fear in his face. His big arms pinned Nicholas' arms down and he
wrapped his legs around Nicholas' head. Nicholas' cheeks were bloated
and he nearly went blue trying to breathe with that monster in his
mouth.
It felt like a long time before the black man was satisfied and shot
gallons and gallons of his load into Nicholas' mouth. When he took
his cock out, it was still spewing cum which shot onto Nicholas. Then
he turned around and parted his asscheeks. His asshole was dark brown
and covered with a lot of black hair.
"Go down nice and slow on me, sweetie." He said.
Nicholas stared in horror. Surely the guy wasn't expecting him to
lick that thing???
"Come on, I don't have all night!" The black man said impatiently.
Nicholas closed his eyes, took a deep breath and bent forward. The
minute he tasted the guy, he felt like throwing up, but he willed
himself to continue. He was so turned off by the aroma and the
thought of rimming another man! Then suddenly the man pulled away.
"Now for the fun bit." He smiled as he flipped Nicholas onto his
stomach.
"Please mister, please don't!" Nicholas begged helplessly.
The black man ignored him and spat on his huge cock, which was hard
again. He then pressed a button on a nearby stereo and turned the
volume up really loud. Nicholas couldn't hear what he said after
that, but he felt the big arms grabbing him and his legs being kicked
apart. A hand parted his asscheeks and something nudged his asshole.
When the man's cockhead penetrated him, Nicholas screamed, but it was
drowned out by the music. He struggled and cried out helplessly, but
the man continued pushing the length of his huge 12 inch monster into
the tiny asshole. Nicholas was virtually impaled on the huge cock,
which was fully inside him. He cried in pain and clawed the soft
leather cushion seats of the limo.
But the real pain didn't start till the man held his ass and fucked
him. Nicholas screamed and cried continuously, shocked and terrified
of the onslaught. His legs were spread wide and his hands gripped the
cushions helplessly. He felt as if someone had parked a truck in his
asshole. While the man fucked him hard, Nicholas felt his own cock
stirring, much to his horror.
The man grunted each time he thrusted, while his hands roamed
Nicholas' body. They twisted and pinched his tits, grabbed his ass
and fondled his hard cock and balls. The first time he came, Nicholas
thought it was over, but the man did not withdraw. He lay on top of
Nicholas, breathing heavily and gradually his big cock hardened again.
Then he resumed fucking the blonde. This went on for what felt like
hours, till Nicholas was very very sore and the man was finally
satisfied. With one last thrust, he shot his last load into Nicholas'
violated asshole.
He took out his cock pushed it into Nicholas' mouth. Nicholas was so
numb with pain and immobile that his mouth opened up automatically.
He could taste the coppery blood and did not protest. After he was
all cleaned up, the black man dressed up.
Turning down the music, he said, "Shit, you're the tightest cherry
I've ever fucked!"
He grabbed Nicholas' chin and gave him a deep parting kiss. Nicholas'
ass was bleeding and he couldn't move his lower body. He lay on his
stomach, dried tears on his face as he tasted the other man's saliva
in his mouth. Then the man opened the limo door, carried Nicholas out
into the street and dumped him on the sidewalk. Nicholas' stomach was
covered with his own cum, where he'd lost control of his cock during
his rape.
Only Mike and the limo chauffeur were standing there. The black man
thanked Mike and got into the car. Then the chauffeur drove him off.
"Enjoyed yourself, I see." Mike commented at the cum on Nicholas'
stomach.
Nicholas tried to stand up but his legs collapsed and he fell onto the
sidewalk, cum leaking out of his violated asshole. At that moment,
Tom and Jim came back, holding some six packs.
"Finished?" Tom asked.
"Yeah, he just left." Mike replied.
"Where to, now?" Jim asked.
"I think Nicky's done for the night. Let's get the car and drop him
off." Tom said.
"Shit, he looks pretty bad. You think we should do something?" Jim
asked in concern, looking at the semi-conscious Nicholas.
"Nah, he'll be ok. Once he gets used to it!" Tom winked at the others
then left to get the Porsche.
The men drove back to his apartment and brought him upstairs. They
received strange stares from the doorman, who looked at Nicholas
wrapped in a smalll blanket. After dumping him in his apartment, they
took off.
Chapter 6:
Nicholas woke up the next morning with a very sore ass. He could
barely walk and each step was punctuated by sharp stabbing pain in his
ass. He cried in disgrace as he remembered the incidents of the night
before. How could he go to work and face everyone? Then the phone
rang suddenly.
"Morning, Nick. You ok?" Jim asked.
"I... " Nicholas struggled to say something.
"Listen Nicky, we'll come by and pick you up in 20 mins. Want to make
sure you show up at work today." Tom had grabbed the phone from Jim.
Nicholas stumbled into the shower, shaved and ate his breakfast
miserably. Exactly 20 mins later, Jim came in. He was carrying
Nicholas' keys.
"You ok?" he asked.
"What do you care?" Nicholas asked angrily.
Jim noticed that Nicholas walked with a slight limp. They went
downstairs to the posh, the doorman eyeing them suspiciously again.
When they arrived at the office, Nicholas was thoroughly humiliated by
everyone constantly staring at him. He knew that from now onwards, no
one could take him seriously anymore. He was also disappointed to see
that Tom and Mike were in his office.
"I can't work with you guys hanging around." he told them.
"You don't do anything useful, Nicky. Yes, we know all about your
work!" Tom said.
"Take off your clothes!" Mike barked at him.
"W...what?" Nicholas asked, worried.
"Strip!" Tom shouted.
Nicholas removed his clothes and shoes slowly, dreading what awaited
him.
"Here you can wear this!" Tom threw him a pair of cut-offs, vest and
an old pair of hiking-boots.
The vest did not have any buttons and showed Nicholas' smooth chest
and tits. The cut-offs were a bit tight and short, showing off his
legs and squeezing his genitals on the right side of his thigh. They
were cut pretty low, allowing a small patch of blond pubes to show.
The material was thin, outlining Nicholas' cock. Also, part of his
asscheeks were showing.
"Right, let's get going." Tom said as he turned around and walked out.
Nicholas followed the men cautiously, feeling very naked and ashamed.
His secretary looked at him but didn't say anything. They went
downstairs to the garage to get his car.
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
What does the lady from the patent office mean?!
"We dont know who issue the patent".....is it so tough to track who is the issuing officer. I am surprised it isn't done.
Anyways the reporter should have asked why such an absurd patent was issued in the first place and probably put her in the spot by giving many examples of such crappy patents being issued. Sheesh, its almost like the patent office wants us to think its a clerical error.....and the best is they get away with it.
vv
apart from the fact that it applies to bathrooms, how is this any different from the age-old "take a number, take a seat" system used in waiting rooms and supermarket delis around the world? I guess the aparatus (claims 17/26) could be said to be new, but harldy a stroke of genius, especially not in 2000AD. I wouldn't be surprised if the Romans used something like this...
Big Blue didn't want to be known as "Big Blue Water"??
<insert groans here>
Scott
But Nyblod said that it's relatively rare for the patent office to re-examine patents it has issued. The office granted 187,882 patents in 2001 but received just 296 requests to re-examine individual patents, she said.
That's 187,586 short if you ask me.
Really, as much as I don't want to be a flaimbait, the "standard examination" or whatever is not quite good enough.
In this day and age, with the amount of educated people at an all time high, and their education at an all time high too, the patent office has to be extra strict with giving patents.
Though everybody at slashdot already knows this, it can't be stressed enoough:
Patents are more a drag than a boost to creativity.
And just a little rant:
For nine years running, IBM has been the leading recipient of patents from the U.S. patent office.
And
We dedicated that patent to the public so that we could continue focusing on our high-quality patent portfolio.
Seem to be in conflict.IBM and patents seem to me to be a issue of quantity not quality.
...when I said I could make the big bucks by patenting the use of wiping with toilet paper. I mean, heck, I figured I'd be doing the patent office a favor. Surely the place would start to smell better after they were introduced to this novel technique. The only question for them would be whether there was enough room left for the paper, what with heads up in the way.
-Rob
Comrades who suffer from revolutionary impetuosity overestimate the subjective forces of the revolution and underestimate the forces of the counter-revolution.
me the shit out o... OH, at fscking last! It's my restroom turn. brb guys!.
...)
(Anyway: I should have my sisters take a look and the patent, they may actually LEARN something
(Anyway 2: Thanks god MS didn't patent it. A bug in these code could really KILL people. And I can foresee the script kiddies all going to the bath as they see fit.)
unfinished: (adj.)
The quote about the system not being broken did not come from IBM, it came from a patent attorney.
Personally, I guess the system isn't "broken", but it would be like a wall with cracks running from top to bottom, it's technically still a wall, but it's not something I'd want to lean on.
Runs on windows 2000
s/./, Batman!/
In other news, today American Airlines was granted a patent on a new airliner with more restrooms than seats. When asked about the new plane a company official said, "Well, we aren't exactly sure if someone can use more than one restroom at once, but we are keeping our options open. If necessary, for the sake of public safety and security we have plans to eliminate an addition 10% of seats. Either way we'll show IBM who's boss."
sig
How did the IBM system deal with the human element?
When I'm waiting for a washroom on an aircraft, if I *really* need it in a hurry, perhaps becaue I'm sick.. I will ask the people waiting if I can go ahead. Usually they will say yes, if they can handle it.
LIkewise, I will often let a small child or other person who looks really uncomfortable go ahead of me if I can bear it. It's called sharing. I got there first, okay, but I also sat closer to the washroom, perhaps. Or it took me less time to get out of my chair because I have an aisle seat. First come first serve is not always best; it should be more like most needed goes first.
I suppose if we all had some kind of squid detector (ibm patent #4332123) hooked up to our brains, wired into the aircraft central computer (ibm patent # 98344223), then they could actually let us know before we even realize it that we have to go to the washroom. By analyzing how fast an individual bladder or digestive system is working, it could even schedule such things ahead of time. Pre-boarding screening could be done in order to let people konw they cannot fly, because there will not be washroom time available on the current flight.
Employers could finally get some real figures as to how the "restrooms" are used... A nice Web Based interface with, amongst other widjets, a long list of checkboxes for different activities...
Of course, how many people wold actually admit to some of the things on that list is another matter. :)
Ali
Ph33r m3!!!
Critics have charged that too many patents don't pass the smell test [...]
OK - let's think about this: why would IBM care about people using the bathrooms? Well, this process is a direct analogy to CPU resource management. The article mentions estimated wait time, ability to make and cancel resource reservations, and dangers of numerous stalled processes.
I would bet that some engineer was trying to explain the new resource management algorithm, and used the bathroom analogy. They then registered the patent out of humor, or to ensure nobody later claimed their algorithm was prior art as bathroom usage.
10b||~10b -- aah, what a question!
I was thinking this would be some high tech system involving bladder scanners and anal probes. Then I read...
"As envisioned in the patent, the system would be run by a computer that would assign customers a number based on a first-come, first-served basis"
...and realize it's just another "no tickey, no laundry" system...
::sigh::
Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
a method for determining who gets to use the bathroom next
Prior art exists, it's called a line.
Somewhere in the heavens... they are waiting.
Has anyone read that patent???? Operating system - preferably UNIX (!!!) or Windows NT (!!!!!). Network protocol - TCP/IP (!!!!...)
Thanks God, thank you, thank you, thank you that you gave some reason to IBM folks. I cannot imagine what would be the mood in the airplane if some funny joker decided to play the best DoS ever...
Phew! I'm glad they didn't dump that on us. It is such a relief it is not going to happen. I would have been peed off if it happened. It was a crappy patent anyway. It's not like people would have been lining up to implement it.
(Sorry, someone had to get all the obvious puns out of the way. Now we can all get on with the serious issue of discussing this story)
If the pattern goes 9am, 10am, 11am, why isn't noon 12am?
Reason: Please use fewer 'junk' characters.
I work for IBM and you wouldn't belive the patents we have every year. Its true we have had the most patents every year for the last 9 years, and most patents are legitamately issued but in some rare cases IBM had some strange paents slip through the hole. I'll try and post are most recent patent list.
Looks like someone at IBM has a twisted sense of humor....
J-PLUG® TROLLING J-PLUG® TROLLING Forty years ago a derby-winning salmon or lake trout was almost certainly a plug-caught fish. More and more anglers today are switching to J-Plugs® because, as in the past, plugs are known to produce more and larger fish on a regular basis. There is a special J-Plug® finish available today which will fit any fishing situation, whether you're after salmon, lake trout, stripers, brown trout or other large game fish. BASIC MINNOW IMAGE Today's J-Plug® is even better-built and more effective than its predecessors as it's made of super-strong materials and designed for maximum action and strength. Another big difference is the availability of special J-Plug® finishes designed specifically for deep water trolling and low light conditions such as the special "Glo" patterns which pick up surface light and give it off down deep. J-Plugs® are fast-action, darting plugs ideally suited for trolling. They are effective because they project a basic minnow image in the water which all fish relate to in all water conditions. This is a basic, wounded minnow, fast darting action which comes from a combination of special swivel chain rigging and lure head chamber design. The precisely engineered tolerance between the rigging and head chamber allows the swivel chain to shift and reposition itself within the chamber. This constantly changes the plug's attitude and direction in the water and creates its fish-catching, erratic, darting action. The swivel chain rigging also allows a direct rod to fish connection after the strike as the plug body will slide up the line, free of the chain and hook assembly and away from the fish. This eliminates head-shaking leverage against the plug body that causes many fish hooked with solid body-to-hook plugs to break free. Because the J-Plug® is buoyant and separates from the hook assembly, it will float to the surface where it can be retrieved in the case of a line break or bottom snag. The J-Plug® is a trolling lure and can be fished successfully with a variety of techniques. Trolling is a most effective fishing method, particularly on big waters, as you can cover the greatest amount of water in the shortest time allowing you to locate concentrations of fish quickly and easily. Following are recommended J-Plug® trolling techniques. FLATLINE: With the surface or flatline technique, the plug is tied directly to 12- to 20-lb. test main line. No additional weights are used or, at most, a small 1/8- to 1/2-oz. keel-type sinker six feet up the line from the plug. The lure is let out behind your moving boat 50 to 100 feet (anglers fishing for lake trout or brown trout sometimes let out as much as 200 feet of line as these fish can be very skittish of the boat wake) and the troll started. This technique is effective when stripers, lake trout, salmon or brown trout are feeding near the schools of baitfish close to the top or when there is an obvious abundance of other surface activity. SHALLOW/MEDIUM: With the addition of a standard keel sinker four to six feet up the line from the J-Plug®, shallow to medium depths can be trolled effectively. Sinker weights, depending on the depth desired, for this kind of trolling usually run from 1 to 8 ounces with main line testing from 12 to 30 pounds. Note: Always attach a swivel chain-rigged keel sinker with the single swivel end knotted to your main line and the swivel chain end back to the plug. As in flatlining, let out 50 to 100 feet of line behind your moving boat and begin the troll. DIVERS: One effective way to get a plug deep without excessive lead weights, or if you don't have a downrigger, is with a diving sinker such as the Deep Six®, Pink Lady® or directional Dipsy Diver®. Standard rigging is with 4 to 6 feet of leader between plug and diver and 20- to 30-lb. test main line to your rod. Set the diver to diving position, or in the case of the directional Dipsy® set both the depth and side angle desired, let out 50 to 100 feet of line behind your moving boat (slowly to ensure that no tangles occur) and begin the troll. DOWNRIGGERS: J-Plugs® often are fished off a downrigger, by themselves (the most popular way). With a downrigger you will be able to work all depths and will have the advantage of no weights between you and the fish once hooked. Anglers who troll J-Plugs® by themselves behind a downrigger often prefer 10 to 20 feet (some as much as 40 feet) between the line release and plug. The longer lengths add to the erratic, darting action of the plug. Dodgers can be used as attractors in conjunction with a #3 J-Plug® behind a downrigger with good results. Size 0 or Size 1 Jensen Dodgers are recommended. Be sure to allow at least six feet of line between the dodger and downrigger line release so as not to inhibit the dodger's action. Allow 20 to 30 inches of leader between your plug and dodger (shorter leaders impart faster plug action and longer leaders slower action). LARGE PLUGS / LARGE FISH Larger fish do prefer large plugs. Big fish will spend the least amount of energy necessary to catch a meal . . . larger baitfish mean less energy expended to fill up. So, if you're after big salmon or lake trout, use the larger J-Plugs®. But, remember that smaller fish often will not attack a large plug so the use of larger plugs, although great for big fish, may prevent you from catching smaller ones. Standard J-Plugs® are popular because they are especially effective in deep water trolling situations, although, as indicated, they may be successfully used in medium or shallow water as well. The J-Plug® features a basic minnow design with a darting, erratic, free-swimming action which all fish relate to. These plugs are easy to fish, require no tuning and the direct hook-to-rod connection prevents fish from obtaining leverage against the plug, resulting in more landed fish per number of strikes. J-Plugs® also come in a variety of sizes and finishes (rattle models are available) to fit every fishing situation and are versatile as they can be trolled either fast or slow, depending on the fish species you're after. Some other features and additional tips on fishing and using J-Plugs® include: Keep them either in the water or in your tackle box. Extreme heat can deform a plug's shape and direct sunlight can cause the finish to fade. Before placing your plug in the water, check the swivel chain dacron harness for wear and to ensure the knot is cinched tight. If the harness need replacing you may obtain one from a dealer. The dacron harness is 80-lb. test doubled. The hooks that come with the harness are high quality, 4X strong and plated to resist corrosion. J-PLUG® FINISHES / COLORS One of the big reasons today's J-Plugs® are effective is because of the wide variety of finishes and colors available . . . one to fit every angling situation. Following is a rundown on a few of the more popular finishes and what each represents and accomplishes in the water. METALLIC: Highly reflective metallic finishes match the flash and colors of baitfish. Silver, Silver Cut Plug and Silver/Blue Top feature the reflective look of baitfish. GLO: J-Plugs® are offered in Glo/Blue Top Ladderback and Glo/Florescent Green Top Ladderback finishes. These are designed specifically for deep water trolling because they contain phosphor pigments that give off light down deep. Note that these finishes contain light-sensitive pigments that can be burned and which will turn gray if exposed to strong, direct sunlight. It's best to keep plugs painted with Glo finishes either in the water fishing or stored away in your tackle box so overexposure doesn't occur. For a quick and easy "glo charge" try Luhr-Jensen's handy Power Flash unit which can double as a camera flash attachment. SPARKLE: Several new sparkle extra-attractive sparkle finishes are now available on J-Plugs®. These include Sparkle Chartreuse/Fire Tiger, Sparkle Chartreuse/Green Tiger, Sparkle Mother-Of-Pearl and Sparkle Fire Tiger. These highly-reflective finishes provide additional strike-enticing action. J-PLUG® TROLLING TIPS Trolling a straight line between two points is the least successful path you can take, once fish have been located in an area. By trolling in zig-zag patterns or in "S" curves, you will impart regular changes in depth and speed to a trolled plug, creating the impression of a wounded, in trouble baitfish which fish will view as an easy meal. Vary your speed. While slow is the password, this does not mean slow all the time. A lure running through the water at a constant speed, at a constant depth and giving off the same vibration pattern will not catch many fish . . . there's just nothing there to indicate an easy meal is available or that something is in trouble. Slowly, yes, but adjust your speed every few minutes to change the lure's speed and vibration pattern. Troll Slowly. Big fish will not expend any more energy than necessary to catch a meal. Also, most lures will not perform correctly at fast speeds. The best advice is to troll slowly -- the slower the better. Use a solid knot for connecting your plug to your line or leader such as the improved clinch (see illustration on page 2) and always use a premium quality monofilament line such as Trilene XT which has superior knot strength, small diameter in relation to pound test and is abrasion resistant. Purchase a quality depth sounder such as one of the Bottomline units which will help in locating fish as well as prime underwater fishing structure which can't otherwise be seen. Undoubtedly one of the easiest and least complicated things you can do to improve your fishing results is to make sure all hook points are sticky sharp. The majority of lost fish can probably be traced to dull hooks which prevent proper penetration into the fish's mouth. A small file, such as the Sharp Hook File is the absolute best tool available for sharpening fish hooks. Hold the file parallel to the hook point and, with gently one-way strokes, remove a small amount of metal from at least two sides of the point to obtain both a super-sharp point and a knife-like cutting edge. Keep your plugs above fish as they can't easily see downward. On sunny days fish will be deeper as their eyes are sensitive to strong, direct sunlight. When trolling plugs in salt water you'll find the optimum feeding and fish-catching times during low light periods and from an hour before, during and an hour after a tide change. Fish areas where birds are working on baitfish schools and troll the clean side of rips. In fresh water such as in the Great Lakes, the time of day isn't nearly as critical as the depth and the location of the preferred temperature level for the fish species you're seeking . . . the thermocline. Lakes stratify into three separate layers of water in the spring and stay that way until cold weather hits in the fall. The middle layer of water, where there is a large concentration of dissolved oxygen, baitfish and therefore predator fish, is called the thermocline and can generally be found from 10 to 80 feet down. The peak feeding and optimum temperature for coho and Chinook is 54 with an active range from 54 to 54 For lake trout the peak feeding and optimum temperature is 54 with activity from 54 to 54 Fish will rarely venture out of these zones once stratification has taken place, except to catch a meal and then will quickly return to it. One thing to remember when fishing temperatures layers such as the thermocline is that it can change from day to day in terms of depth because of wind and/or wave action. It may be several feet deeper or shallower one day from the next so you'll have to locate it each and every time you go out. Those are several of the tips and techniques which will help you successfully fish J-Plugs® in your favorite waters and for your favorite fish species. Remember to experiment, troll zig-zag patterns or otherwise constantly change the plug's action, Keep hooks sticky sharp and go prepared with a variety of finishes and sizes . . . there's a J-Plug® for every fishing situation. Forty years ago a derby-winning salmon or lake trout was almost certainly a plug-caught fish. More and more anglers today are switching to J-Plugs® because, as in the past, plugs are known to produce more and larger fish on a regular basis. There is a special J-Plug® finish available today which will fit any fishing situation, whether you're after salmon, lake trout, stripers, brown trout or other large game fish. BASIC MINNOW IMAGE Today's J-Plug® is even better-built and more effective than its predecessors as it's made of super-strong materials and designed for maximum action and strength. Another big difference is the availability of special J-Plug® finishes designed specifically for deep water trolling and low light conditions such as the special "Glo" patterns which pick up surface light and give it off down deep. J-Plugs® are fast-action, darting plugs ideally suited for trolling. They are effective because they project a basic minnow image in the water which all fish relate to in all water conditions. This is a basic, wounded minnow, fast darting action which comes from a combination of special swivel chain rigging and lure head chamber design. The precisely engineered tolerance between the rigging and head chamber allows the swivel chain to shift and reposition itself within the chamber. This constantly changes the plug's attitude and direction in the water and creates its fish-catching, erratic, darting action. The swivel chain rigging also allows a direct rod to fish connection after the strike as the plug body will slide up the line, free of the chain and hook assembly and away from the fish. This eliminates head-shaking leverage against the plug body that causes many fish hooked with solid body-to-hook plugs to break free. Because the J-Plug® is buoyant and separates from the hook assembly, it will float to the surface where it can be retrieved in the case of a line break or bottom snag. The J-Plug® is a trolling lure and can be fished successfully with a variety of techniques. Trolling is a most effective fishing method, particularly on big waters, as you can cover the greatest amount of water in the shortest time allowing you to locate concentrations of fish quickly and easily. Following are recommended J-Plug® trolling techniques. FLATLINE: With the surface or flatline technique, the plug is tied directly to 12- to 20-lb. test main line. No additional weights are used or, at most, a small 1/8- to 1/2-oz. keel-type sinker six feet up the line from the plug. The lure is let out behind your moving boat 50 to 100 feet (anglers fishing for lake trout or brown trout sometimes let out as much as 200 feet of line as these fish can be very skittish of the boat wake) and the troll started. This technique is effective when stripers, lake trout, salmon or brown trout are feeding near the schools of baitfish close to the top or when there is an obvious abundance of other surface activity. SHALLOW/MEDIUM: With the addition of a standard keel sinker four to six feet up the line from the J-Plug®, shallow to medium depths can be trolled effectively. Sinker weights, depending on the depth desired, for this kind of trolling usually run from 1 to 8 ounces with main line testing from 12 to 30 pounds. Note: Always attach a swivel chain-rigged keel sinker with the single swivel end knotted to your main line and the swivel chain end back to the plug. As in flatlining, let out 50 to 100 feet of line behind your moving boat and begin the troll. DIVERS: One effective way to get a plug deep without excessive lead weights, or if you don't have a downrigger, is with a diving sinker such as the Deep Six®, Pink Lady® or directional Dipsy Diver®. Standard rigging is with 4 to 6 feet of leader between plug and diver and 20- to 30-lb. test main line to your rod. Set the diver to diving position, or in the case of the directional Dipsy® set both the depth and side angle desired, let out 50 to 100 feet of line behind your moving boat (slowly to ensure that no tangles occur) and begin the troll. DOWNRIGGERS: J-Plugs® often are fished off a downrigger, by themselves (the most popular way). With a downrigger you will be able to work all depths and will have the advantage of no weights between you and the fish once hooked. Anglers who troll J-Plugs® by themselves behind a downrigger often prefer 10 to 20 feet (some as much as 40 feet) between the line release and plug. The longer lengths add to the erratic, darting action of the plug. Dodgers can be used as attractors in conjunction with a #3 J-Plug® behind a downrigger with good results. Size 0 or Size 1 Jensen Dodgers are recommended. Be sure to allow at least six feet of line between the dodger and downrigger line release so as not to inhibit the dodger's action. Allow 20 to 30 inches of leader between your plug and dodger (shorter leaders impart faster plug action and longer leaders slower action). LARGE PLUGS / LARGE FISH Larger fish do prefer large plugs. Big fish will spend the least amount of energy necessary to catch a meal . . . larger baitfish mean less energy expended to fill up. So, if you're after big salmon or lake trout, use the larger J-Plugs®. But, remember that smaller fish often will not attack a large plug so the use of larger plugs, although great for big fish, may prevent you from catching smaller ones. Standard J-Plugs® are popular because they are especially effective in deep water trolling situations, although, as indicated, they may be successfully used in medium or shallow water as well. The J-Plug® features a basic minnow design with a darting, erratic, free-swimming action which all fish relate to. These plugs are easy to fish, require no tuning and the direct hook-to-rod connection prevents fish from obtaining leverage against the plug, resulting in more landed fish per number of strikes. J-Plugs® also come in a variety of sizes and finishes (rattle models are available) to fit every fishing situation and are versatile as they can be trolled either fast or slow, depending on the fish species you're after. Some other features and additional tips on fishing and using J-Plugs® include: Keep them either in the water or in your tackle box. Extreme heat can deform a plug's shape and direct sunlight can cause the finish to fade. Before placing your plug in the water, check the swivel chain dacron harness for wear and to ensure the knot is cinched tight. If the harness need replacing you may obtain one from a dealer. The dacron harness is 80-lb. test doubled. The hooks that come with the harness are high quality, 4X strong and plated to resist corrosion. J-PLUG® FINISHES / COLORS One of the big reasons today's J-Plugs® are effective is because of the wide variety of finishes and colors available . . . one to fit every angling situation. Following is a rundown on a few of the more popular finishes and what each represents and accomplishes in the water. METALLIC: Highly reflective metallic finishes match the flash and colors of baitfish. Silver, Silver Cut Plug and Silver/Blue Top feature the reflective look of baitfish. GLO: J-Plugs® are offered in Glo/Blue Top Ladderback and Glo/Florescent Green Top Ladderback finishes. These are designed specifically for deep water trolling because they contain phosphor pigments that give off light down deep. Note that these finishes contain light-sensitive pigments that can be burned and which will turn gray if exposed to strong, direct sunlight. It's best to keep plugs painted with Glo finishes either in the water fishing or stored away in your tackle box so overexposure doesn't occur. For a quick and easy "glo charge" try Luhr-Jensen's handy Power Flash unit which can double as a camera flash attachment. SPARKLE: Several new sparkle extra-attractive sparkle finishes are now available on J-Plugs®. These include Sparkle Chartreuse/Fire Tiger, Sparkle Chartreuse/Green Tiger, Sparkle Mother-Of-Pearl and Sparkle Fire Tiger. These highly-reflective finishes provide additional strike-enticing action. J-PLUG® TROLLING TIPS Trolling a straight line between two points is the least successful path you can take, once fish have been located in an area. By trolling in zig-zag patterns or in "S" curves, you will impart regular changes in depth and speed to a trolled plug, creating the impression of a wounded, in trouble baitfish which fish will view as an easy meal. Vary your speed. While slow is the password, this does not mean slow all the time. A lure running through the water at a constant speed, at a constant depth and giving off the same vibration pattern will not catch many fish . . . there's just nothing there to indicate an easy meal is available or that something is in trouble. Slowly, yes, but adjust your speed every few minutes to change the lure's speed and vibration pattern. Troll Slowly. Big fish will not expend any more energy than necessary to catch a meal. Also, most lures will not perform correctly at fast speeds. The best advice is to troll slowly -- the slower the better. Use a solid knot for connecting your plug to your line or leader such as the improved clinch (see illustration on page 2) and always use a premium quality monofilament line such as Trilene XT which has superior knot strength, small diameter in relation to pound test and is abrasion resistant. Purchase a quality depth sounder such as one of the Bottomline units which will help in locating fish as well as prime underwater fishing structure which can't otherwise be seen. Undoubtedly one of the easiest and least complicated things you can do to improve your fishing results is to make sure all hook points are sticky sharp. The majority of lost fish can probably be traced to dull hooks which prevent proper penetration into the fish's mouth. A small file, such as the Sharp Hook File is the absolute best tool available for sharpening fish hooks. Hold the file parallel to the hook point and, with gently one-way strokes, remove a small amount of metal from at least two sides of the point to obtain both a super-sharp point and a knife-like cutting edge. Keep your plugs above fish as they can't easily see downward. On sunny days fish will be deeper as their eyes are sensitive to strong, direct sunlight. When trolling plugs in salt water you'll find the optimum feeding and fish-catching times during low light periods and from an hour before, during and an hour after a tide change. Fish areas where birds are working on baitfish schools and troll the clean side of rips. In fresh water such as in the Great Lakes, the time of day isn't nearly as critical as the depth and the location of the preferred temperature level for the fish species you're seeking . . . the thermocline. Lakes stratify into three separate layers of water in the spring and stay that way until cold weather hits in the fall. The middle layer of water, where there is a large concentration of dissolved oxygen, baitfish and therefore predator fish, is called the thermocline and can generally be found from 10 to 80 feet down. The peak feeding and optimum temperature for coho and Chinook is 54 with an active range from 54 to 54 For lake trout the peak feeding and optimum temperature is 54 with activity from 54 to 54 Fish will rarely venture out of these zones once stratification has taken place, except to catch a meal and then will quickly return to it. One thing to remember when fishing temperatures layers such as the thermocline is that it can change from day to day in terms of depth because of wind and/or wave action. It may be several feet deeper or shallower one day from the next so you'll have to locate it each and every time you go out. Those are several of the tips and techniques which will help you successfully fish J-Plugs® in your favorite waters and for your favorite fish species. Remember to experiment, troll zig-zag patterns or otherwise constantly change the plug's action, Keep hooks sticky sharp and go prepared with a variety of finishes and sizes . . . there's a J-Plug® for every fishing situation.
I think the key point of this article is the phrase: "We dedicated that patent to the public so that we could continue focusing on our high-quality patent portfolio," Andrews said.
Now if only the everyone else would realize this...
I also plan to file one for wiping now.
the BM in IBM stood for "Business Machines".
Hmm.
As I read through that list, I thought, 'that has to be illegal, or at least immoral'.
I mean, you would have to be a complete and utter pervert to want to moderate slashdot when you're sitting on the can!
#include "two_kinds_of_shit.joke"
--
The office granted 187,882 patents in 2001
That's more than 500 patents every day. And since getting a patent nowadays is as simple as applying, the numbers are probably rising. Damn. 500 a day. There's no way this system will ever get reformed.
Ok, clearly someone is way underage to be submitting stories to slashdot. The patent office handles literally hundreds of thousands of applications a year. I challenge anyone to find that large of a system with an error rate of zero. From internet routing to CNN to squirrels in headlights, with a large enough sample size, you are going to be able to find problems. With this rationalle, everything is broken.
Now, I've got some real objections to the current patent system. I think lots of things are patentable that shouldn't be. However, even if the laws were changed and patents really tightened up, I guarantee you that some weird ones will still slip through.
So, can we please see an end to the /. sport of finding the most ridiculous patents and waving them around as evidence that patents are "broken"? Even if patents were overhauled and the most extreme /. views prevailed, these same examples would still exist. Sometimes, the issue is the bureaucracy and human error, not a "broken" system.
That said, I do think the system is broken; this is just a case of getting the right conclusion from the wrong evidence ("It would be dangerous to jump off a tall building because it's hard to see exactly where you'd land").
Cheers
-b
If I wanted a sig I would have filled in that stupid box.
Instead of having people sit on the crapper for long times (a few minutes, everything's long when YOU need to), just have a time-shitting agreement. All users will have 1/60'th of a second to do thier business. The last 2 people will be in charge of calling the janitor for floor cleanup (ewwww).
I mean, you would have to be a complete and utter pervert to want to moderate slashdot when you're sitting on the can!
All you really need is 802.11 or a long enough network cable... Erm, not that I know anything about using my laptop while on the john. Sure, those AIM conversations can wait until I get back...
---
DRM is like antifreeze, to the MPAA/RIAA it's sweet, to the consumers it's poison.
Well, yesterday or the day before yesterday I had some good flamer kicking me for being so antipatent. He claimed that I was to one-sided and even didn't read the patents. Well, I don't read all patents shown in /. but some I do and with fair detail. Frankly this one was so shocking that I decided to read it. I HIGHLY recomend to do the same as it is better than any jokes here:
The patent includes the possible use of printers and scanners. I may understand printers but scanners?.. What they intend to scan?
They go all over by decribing a whole fullscale network with Windows NT or UNIX and using TCP/IP. Unfortunately they forget about firewalls, IPSec, secure authentication and so on. So one may wonder what might happen to this network and the effect it will have on passengers...
They even talk about databases... To register what?
These ones killed me: "As shown in FIG. 3B, the information contains field corresponding to, for example, passenger identifier by seat assignment, passenger name, whether the passenger is flying first class, price the passenger paid for the ticket, frequent flyer status, time at which the reservation request is received, reservation number assigned, and current position in the queue.
(...)
Alternatively, the central controller may grant reservation according to a set of rules which determines priority based on information stored in the database such as whether the passenger is flying first class, whether the passenger is a frequent flyer of the airline, the price the passenger paid for his ticket, the location of the passenger's seat in the cabin, etc."
Look at the elitism of the sentences. So one goes to the restroom according to the price he paid for the ticket... Everyone else hold up and don't even imagine to do it in place...
Another out of this world claim is the how they warn the passenger. One of the variants is:"or displayed on a screen in front of the cabin where the safety signs are displayed." For some people, mainly children, this sounds good - so everyone knows that he goes to the toilet... Besides it is quite cool to mix warning signs with the fact one needs to go to the toilet.
The tracking system is also something from the other world: "The central controller may employ a tracking system to detect the movement of a passenger and the status of the restroom. For example, when a passenger leaves his seat and arrives at the restroom in fulfillment of his reservation, a sensor may detect the passenger's departure from his seat and/or arrival at the restroom and transmits the signal to the central controller. Likewise, the central controller may receive a signal when a passenger leaves the restroom. The central controller updates the queue based on the information it receives." And we thought that child tracking was evil... Now even adults are tracked to the toilet.
Besides I don't get why the phone is needed here. Considering the beaurocracies of the crew I wonder if we would see some people crying over the phone that they need the toilet fast and for what reason.
...have a bad sense of humor and money to burn. Some of these patents that have come to light lately seem more like practical jokes, or like two guys betting each other over whether or not the patent will be granted. How else can you explain a patent on a procedure like going to the bathroom?
yes, a movement not to tolerate such assinine claims. Good for IBM, for bringing up the rear ! jon@geek.com
"There are 11 kinds of people: those who know binary, those who don't, and those who could not care less!"
I get it it... *eliminated*
actually, IBM was orginally Hollerith systems, and that company, in turn, developed the first highly effective way of systematically exterminating the jews in WWII.
It's true, IBM killed the jews.
... that they FLUSHED the patent ?
From the patent:
Primary Examiner: Lee, Benjamin C.
I think they need to demote examiners that allow such crap turn into patents!
(This sig intentionally left blank)
The patent system is broken, and the fact that they issued 187,882 patents in a single year is itself evidence of that. Patents are essentially like world records; there is no way so many new and nonobvious creations can be produced in a year.
The USPTO's procedure is to give the benefit of the doubt to the would-be patentee, and then let the courts sort it afterwards if its validity is questioned. This is based on their apparent philosophy that to mistakenly NOT grant a patent that has validity is more harmful than granting an invalid patent, so they prefer to err on the side of the patent applicant.
But reality works the other way. It is more harmful to grant a bad patent than to deny a good patent application. Denying a patent does not necessarily mean the product will not be produced. The rejected patentee can still go ahead and create the product, and the rest of the world is also free to create the product, although they would not have the benefit on the monopoly. On the other hand, granting a patent that should not have been granted prevents or hinders everybody else from producing it (and derivative products) even though they could have thought of it on their own. In addition, sometimes the patentee does not even produce any working models of the product, so the effect is that the patent has caused the product not to be produced at all. Caution should be exercised in favor of the rest of the world, not the patent applicant.
There should be a penalty for submitting a patent that gets rejected on the basis of prior art. If the fine is kept by the USPTO, they will have plenty incentive to search properly for prior art, and the applicants will also have added incentive to search for it. If the patent is actually granted and the applicant uses the patent to extract license fees, and prior art is discovered afterwards, the penalty should be based on the license fees which the patentee has extracted.
Sounds brutal, but by making a patent application you are making an extremely strong claim against the rest of the human race -- that none of the other 6 billion people has done what you have done -- and attempting to put a restriction on their behavior, that you better be damn well sure that your creation is so brilliant that nobody else has done it before. One of the main reason why the USPTO has so little time to review patents is the high volume of trivial patent applications. If you aren't just about 100% sure that no prior art exists, get out of the way and keep the system open for those who do have actual legitimate inventions.
To help enforce the nonobviousness aspect of it, when a patent application is submitted there should be a short description, of maybe 50 words or less that summarizes what the supposed invention does, with care taken not to reveal any of the claims or how it is actually done. Then that summary should be published, after which there is a set time period of maybe a month or two during which the public is allowed to submit documentation or even a working product that does the same thing. If somebody else can come up with a solution in a few weeks based on such a short description, it does not meet the novel and nonobvious criteria. If any the submitted documents or products are substantially similar to the patent application, the patent must be rejected. Some things would only need a short phrase like "online auction" or "one click shopping" or "swinging on a swing" for somebody else to come up with a solution in a few days or even hours. ("Substantially similar" can be defined as whether the submission would be likely to be guilty of patent infringement if the patent were actually granted and the submission created afterwards, and there can be a nominal fee for such submissions to discourage frivilous challenge submissions, if the volume is too high.)
---------
There is inferior bacteria on the interior of your posterior.
It said in the article IBM has been granted 3,411 patents this year, and makes 1.4 billion from royalties off existing patents.
I know slashdotters tend to be supportive of IBM because of their Linux funding, but 3400 patents??? I honestly don't think there are that many good, original ideas that can be discovered in one year. It sounds like IBM is abusing the system : I would strongly suspect that much of what they patent is fairly obvious to those in the know or has already occurred to someone else. But instead, IBM has the patents and plans to knee^H^H^H^H anyone who thinks of an idea they happened to have patented and tries to use it.
This is NOT how it was meant to be. Instead of protecting brilliant inventors who come up with nifty gadgets, these patents are basically a big corporation leaching off the future. With this many patents, I'm sure at least one of them could be argued to apply to just about any conceivable, REAL breakthrough that the REAL inventors make in the computer world. When that happens, IBM will send their lawyers to hit you up for money and you'll have to pay unless you are also a big corporation with enough lawyers on the payroll.
The best suggestion I saw on /. was to pay examiners for each application they could reject.
/. comments by them. And I'd rather have a system that awards too many patents, requiring the lowly peon to challenge the big goliath in a court of law to get a patent busted, than have a system that's abused the other way, preventing the lowly peon from getting deserved patents, while their well-financed competition steals their idea and puts it in practice much faster with their larger capital backing. (disclaimer: I am the lowly peon)
/. crowd. We all know that these big businesses and their patents suck. But think of a million-dollar idea, (like a Jump to Conclusions mat..) and think of what you'd have to do to start a company to go in to business to exploit the idea, assuming you don't already own one. Put yourself in the position of the lowly peon with a ticket to glory, instead of a role of angry-slashdotter-reacting-to-abuse-by-large-corpo rations, and think of how grateful you are for each protection afforded to the small patenter, and how loathe you would be to "reform" those protections away... It's eye-opening.
I think someone pointed out last time, too, that almost all patent applications are rejected the first time around. They send it back to you with a list of reasons they rejected it, you fix it, and send it back. Maybe a couple times, until it's eventually accepted. So it wouldn't really make sense to pay them for each time they sent it back...
IANAPTOPE, but I read a lot of
Finally, there should be a bounty (payable by the patenter) for anyone able to break a patent by proving prior art.
Now that's interesting... but again, that would even further skew the patent system from one that tries to put the lowly peon on equal footing with the Established Interests. Example: OmniCorp has a Patent subdivision of their Legal org. The PTO requires an additional $2k (?) bounty deposit to be staked when first patenting something. That's chump change for OmniCorp, but it may be very tricky for John Q. DocBrown to pony up the deposit, in addition to his now-steeper filing fees (thx PTO reorg). So DocBrown is afraid to file his patent, for fear of losing 3-large if his idea turns out to be stupid, instead of just one.
And when do you get your bounty-deposit back? 20 years later, when the patent expires? Now, the PTO could pay the bounty instead, since they kinda screwed up, but I don't think that would help anyone. You might put in place a system where the PE no longer has any reason to approve a valid app, that may be close to prior art, for fear of getting it busted in court and racking up a demerit point.
Another one: patents should be backed up by significant and provable documentation of the actual invention process.
Umm, it's not that way now? You mean including the inspirational moment, or what? Because you have to have everything else well backed up, if you want to assert that you're the actual inventor, if anyone tries ripping you off.
I've got a suggestion for the
Hadn't thought about this, but you are absolutely right. Thanks for one more
;))
item for my list of "stupid things of Swedish bureaucracy". The apartment
renting "system" still wins the price for the most brain death system ever,
though...
I love Sweden, and most Swedish people are very nice, I just can't stand the
unbelievable amount of stupid rules this country has. The (state) liquor stores
you mention is another example(and have in mind that I don't even like
alcoholic drinks, but I still find it stupid, and useless, I have never seen
more drunk people than in the streets of Stockholm).
Not to mention the insane amount of taxes, that are just given away to the %50
of the population that just "can't work" for some reason... *sigh*
What makes me most sad is that is the nicest country I have been in, and most
people are extremely friendly(specially in the north), but in the end I'll have
to move elsewhere because they can't manage the country in minimally sane
way...
(And no, I'm not an incult USAian that doesn't even want to have an ID card,
I'm from Spain, the country with bigger % of morons in the world...)
There are no a single sane country in all the world? *sigh* (All I ask for is:
no software patents, no DCMA or similar stupid laws, good IT infrastructure eg:
I need broadband, cold weather... maybe Canada, but it's too near the USA to
feel safe, I think Antarctica seem the only option
-- A hacker looking for a nice and quiet place to live in this stupid world
Deep Brown
Table-ized A.I.
if (shorts.isSoiled) reservation.Cancel();
Anyone find it ironic that their stock price went up 11% on the same day?
A funny quote from the article is "But just because the patent office granted this and other questionable patents doesn't mean the system is broken".;)"
It is tremendously important to understand that it is NOT the mission of the patent office to issue 100% valid and fully examined patents. Such an effort isn't possible, given the definition of validity. Nor is it even possible to issue 100% decent, not obviously invalid, patents. The cost of such examination would be prohibitive, and neither the government nor inventors would be willing to subsidize it.
A novelty search (which is all the office can do for the sub-thousand dollar fee it receives and examination doesn't review all, or even the best, prior art -- just what can be found with a decent, reasonable review of the search databases. Examiners in some art areas get quite good at it, because they become quickly familiar with a narrow area of art -- and in others (business methods in particular) cannot get good at it because the scope of their examinations is so wildly broad and uncategorized. The office adapts and does ok.
The system isn't broken, it is acting pretty much as designed. Some places it works better than others, but that is the nature of a human process. The question is not whether bad patents exist (they do), but whether bad patents cause more bad, on balance, than good patents cause good. While that is a reasonable question for debate, it is different from observing from the failure of a few individual examples the supposed bankrupcy of a system at large.
This is something like saying that the entirety of a Unix system is bad, because it contains a single design failure or because it contains a single bug. We know it has both -- and yet we use it because it is an excellent environment in which to work and be productive.
(By the way, tha vast majority of spectacularly whacky patents issue, in part, because they are deemed "harmless" or "mostly harmless" by the examiner -- and unworthy of substantive waste of government resources. )
I have worked at 3 IBM sites and been in many of their buildings and this has happened almost without fail. There are also "blessed" bathrooms where this never happens. I can only imagine that those are reserved for upper management.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
...why do people comment a pun, intended or otherwise, with no pun intended? Seems to me that by doing so, the pun is then highlighted, drawing attention to it and implying that the pun IS intended. Why not just let it go, and if some get it, great, and if not, so what!?! (btw - didn't bother with the real article - who gives a shit)
Being able to press a button ay my seat, and having a light go on when it's my turn to go is a great idea. I'm all for it.
I don't think this patent was so silly.
I bet American was really flushed with pride over that patent...
Computer Algorithm (Score:4, Interesting)
by forsetti on Saturday October 12, @09:19AM (#4436652)
(User #158019 Info)
OK - let's think about this: why would IBM care about people using the bathrooms? Well, this process is a direct analogy to CPU resource management. The article mentions estimated wait time, ability to make and cancel resource reservations, and dangers of numerous stalled processes.
I would bet that some engineer was trying to explain the new resource management algorithm, and used the bathroom analogy. They then registered the patent out of humor, or to ensure nobody later claimed their algorithm was prior art as bathroom usage.
Hopefully IBM hasn't patented a compression algorithm that involves a trough instead of urinals.
This brings to mind the old poem:
I B.M.
U B.M.
we all B.M.
for I.B.M.
Tell me all about it. It probably includes unbreakable 'repeated one-time pad' rot 13 encryption too? And a method of swinging sideways to decrease discomfort while in line? What about the boredom, maybe it has a claim to use a laserpointer (or a blue led) and a cat to pass the time? And... perhaps one-click access to the stall? What about a hyperlink to direct you form a 'batchroom portal' to the actual stalls? Not to forget the separately patented 'bathroom queue ... on a computer'.
Why didn't they try to get the bathroom queyeing technology into an international standard first?
Or claim it's applicable to JPEG?
When swinging on a swing can be patented or when entertaining your house cat with a laser pointer can be patented, it is most certainly broken.
See the URL below...
Gregory Casamento
## Chief Maintainer for GNUstep
In German, "Öl" means oil, which is an interesting notion when you think about it... Both are argually considered necessities, and both can be used as lubricants; oil in machines, beer in a social settings.
---
Open Source Shirts
Patents are supposed to be for IMPLEMENTATIONS of things. Never were they intended for "ideas" or "business methods".
If you didn't have one you could hold in your hand, you couldn't (originally) get a patent.
Then they applied patents to business methods, and then software. (which at it's heart, is a number)
So now, you can patent a number, and not let anybody else print that number.
I know the hard work decent software takes, I'm an independent software developer myself. But to patent an idea (which is about the most you could claim software to be) is against the original concept of a patent.
You want ideas? They're cheap!
Get a 12 pack, go to a family reunion, and ask everybody for their "best ideas". You'll get (under current law) at least 10 patents some thanksgiving for $8.99.
Crazy. Simply crazy.
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
...I got my ticket on Priceline... I need to use the bathroom now, please, please, please.... Oops...
I can't believe they put this suggestion in their patent application. It is sick, sick, sick.
Lets arrest the entire patent office staff, they have obviously gone mad and need to be stopped before they grant Time-Warner the patent on breathing.
-=[ Who Is John Galt? ]=-
Proof techniques #1: Proof by Induction.
This technique is used on equations with "_n" in them. Induction
techniques are very popular, even the military used them.
SAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction.
We know it's true for _n equal to 1. Now assume that it's true
for every natural number less than _n. _N is arbitrary, so we can take _n
as large as we want. If _n is sufficiently large, the case of _n+1 is
trivially equivalent, so the only important _n are _n less than _n. We
can take _n = _n (from above), so it's true for _n+1 because it's just
about _n.
QED. (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")
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