Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft may Sanction the 'Switcher' PR-Rep
Nerull sent in a snippit from The Age saying "Microsoft may consider sanctions against a public relations consultant who tried to pass herself off as someone who had switched from the Apple Mac to Windows XP in a high-profile US advertising campaign, chief executive Steve Ballmer said today." Here is Monday's
Slashdot Story that this follows up to. Lots of amusing little quotes about
what it means to be trustworthy.
Anyone think Microsoft may be starting to sound a little like a government. They are proposing 'sanctions' now, next it will be 'peace keeping' and 'police actions'. Perhaps a dark vision of the future to come.
Ok I'll take my medication now.
Happy Noodle Boy says "F###ing doughnut! Mock me? You fried cyclops!!"
They're going to blockade her ports and refuse to sell food to her?
That's a little overkill, isn't it?
Hokey statistics and ancient misconceptions are no match for a good thought in your head, kid!
Wow, Microsoft might say bad PR person, no doughnut. Or give them a slap on the wrist, or a reprimand in their file.
Wow that's really punishing her. Show her who is boss.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Ok so what is MS going to do? Start a software embargo against one person?
Will they raise this issue at the UN and demand a resolution? Hmmm, that would require votes from China and France who are LINUX supporters?
Politics, Politics, my head just spins....
"You can't make a race horse of a pig"
"No," said Samuel, "but you can make very fast pig"
Lots of amusing little quites about what it means to be trustworthy.
Quite amusing indeed.
As with the sun's light
My mom was magnificent
Unquestionable
The article linked to from /. has a link back to /.. Wonder who gets /.ed first?
...now she can switch back to something more usable.
Of course it's a bit rich saying it was a rouge PR or marketing drone. I'm sure the marketing gestapo at MS rules with an iron fist and may well have insisted some sort of respose to Apple's succesful campaign.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
Well I guess they can't use the excuse that "well she looked like she was high, so we can't really hold it against her..."
it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Will the last person leaving Redmond please turn off the lights?
Trolling is a art,
Why, this was one rouge contractor who didn't meet our standards of conduct. We'll see that s/he is appropriately flogged in the public square...
...and be careful to only hire bleu et blanc contractors in the future.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
This guy makes about as much sense as Pootie Tang.
The neutrality of this sig is disputed.
From the article:
Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, he added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
I hope Ballmer's got his resume polished. I think they'll have to use a lawnmower to accomplish that weeding.
(Then again "MS's code of behavior" could mean something else...)
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
The article calls Valerie a "PR bunny". Okay, I think that is punishment enough.
Hello, my name is Valerie G. Mallinson and I was a public relations consultant.
Until recently I worked at Wes Rataushk and Associates Incorporates. Recently my life has taken an unexpected turn and now I can honestly say that I was not happy there. At my new job I can't wait to ask every client a smiling "Would you like that Super Sized?"
That's right, McDonalds is the best job in the world. My name is Valerie G. Mallinson and I switched.
Trolling is a art,
MS is putting their spin back in, since they hosed it up the first time. The ironic thing is, had Word not crapped out a bunch of info (which it shouldn't), it wouldn't have gotten to this point. *Of course, actually taking pictures of real people wouldn't hurt either. I would be interested to know whether or not they *paid for the pictures, or just skimmed them off the site.
MS needs to have someone leave the ivory tower and go talk to real people. Those interviews in which Mom says, "I switched from a Brother Word Processor, and now I can print the Lutheran Bake Sale Price List in COLOR! I'm still trying to get 'the online' though."
Bob at the Garage says, "We used to do our stuff on this box here, then the boss says to me, he says, 'Bob! Get me a Module for an 89 Escort.'
I was like, 'What the hell? Napa's closed.'
And he said, we need to get 'the online'. He went out next day and got 'the online' and now we got 'the online'. We have to get the postits from the old one on here though."
After the 'Real People' interviews, MS will realize that they don't *want to know who uses windows, and quietly release Windows LX, which is Lindows, but crashes more.
And here I thought we were all a bunch of illiterate, know-nothing (but very vocal, none-the-less) geeks.
Will wonders never cease.
R
Stuff that matters: circuitbreakers, vacuum-cleaners coffee makers, calculators generators, matching salt+pepper shakers
100% proof that shit rolls down hill.
Can you believe that this unscrupulous women would try and besmirch the good reputation of the honourable and Trustworthy(TM) reputation of Microsoft Corp.? What has this world come to, when, a lowly maggot such as this can expose the righteous to such scourn, oh heavens me, What Great and GRAND Injustice , Microsoft has endured enough of an attack from this nat. Feel not pitty for her, for she will feel the wrath of God's scourn.
I for one stand shoulder to shoulder with -- and will stand and fight for the honour -- of Microsoft, to help them endure this vile mudslinging.
I am absolutely agast.
I say we BURN HER AT THE STAKEEE!!!
Who said no one was ever fired for buying MicroSoft?
She should just switch back and do a testimonial for Apple.
-- Don't Tase me, bro!
Did anyone notice how Ballmer misspelled that word "castigate". The actual spelling he meant to use was "scapegoat".
Start a software embargo against one person?
Penalties:
First offense: 1 year MS software embargo
Second offense: 1 week MS software embargo
Third offense: Compelled to use MS software for life.
guac-foo
Lots of petrified grits
Specifically, this one:
10. Thou shalt not be caught after doing any or all of these things.
STOP!
./, never mind this post. I am sufficiently horrified.
You are detroying the sanctity of The Mac Nation. Don't you understand that this thread is supposed to be about bashing M$?!?! For God's sake, your even handed insight is not welcome here on
Moderators, mod down before he causes a riot!
:P
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said. "If that's right, I will certainly castigate the offender."
I see Ballmer is up to "C" in his word-a-day program.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
Really?!? Marketing not being straight forward? Does this also mean that maybe dude isn't actually getting a Dell?
do not read this line twice.
Big ads all over the place all about how switching was the worst mistake she ever made.
She lost her job, became a public laughing stock, all because she switched to XP.
October 14, 2002
Yes, it's true. I like obsolete technology enough to change my whole computing world around. Here's the bottom line: the UnixPC gives me more choices and flexibility, and better compatibility with the rest of the technology world.
More Hardware Options, for Less Benjamins (or free)
I am a computer engineer. I demand the best in desktop computers. There are many features for the UnixPC platform. My UnixPC came with 1 Megabyte of RAM, a 12" screen, a 20 Megabyte hard drive, a 360 Kilobyte disk drive, a 1200 baud modem for lightning fast connections over a phone line, and a Voice Power board, which allows me to record sounds on the computer. Entirely free. And the UnixPC runs UnixPC OS 3.51, based on AT&T's System V Release 4.
More Software Flexibility
Microsoft Word pales in comparison to vi. There's no equivalent to the versatility of typing with vi and formatting with troff. It does ASCII text formatting for maximum standards compliance. My AT&T dot-matrix printer prints all my code listings with stunning clarity.
The additional "Ethernet" board allows the UnixPC to connect to other computers on your network, or even to the "Internet," a new and growing global network of computers. Telnet does more for me than Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 ever did, allowing me to directly connect and enter commands into remote computers.
How Now Brown Cow?
Now that I've given you the reasons why I converted, here's the 411 on the how, dig it.
Step 1: Operating System Install
The first time I turned on my UnixPC, the UnixPC prompted me to insert the install media. I sat for only an hour, putting floppy after floppy into the computer, while the system copied them to disk. It's like that time I owned a Pinto, and I kept feeding it more and more parts and spending more and more money until it eventually worked.
Step 2: Setting up Accounts
After I installed the operating system and rebooted, my UnixPC asked me to login. I logged in with the installation account, and I was brought into the UnixPC's "Windowing" environment. I easily created myself an account and set the root password.
Step 3: Setting up "E-Mail"
Once I installed the Voice Power board and its driver software, I also installed the Voice E-mail package. E-mail (or Electronic Mail) is a way for people to send each other messages over the Internet. The Voice E-mail package allows you to use your UnixPC as an answering machine, once the answering machine software is installed. When a message is recorded, an envelope icon shows up at the top right of the screen. Clicking on this icon brings you to your Inbox, where the new message will appear as a new E-mail. In the Inbox, you can also compose and send messages to other users, all you need to know is their UUCP bang path.
The AT&T UnixPC has all the features a 17 year old computer should have.
AT&T's UnixPC: The Computer With The Future Built In.
Sheepdot: Open Source good, Closed Source baaaaaaad!
He meant that Microsoft was going to hide the evedence in the pudding! His statemement makes much more sense when I look at it that way.
Oh well, she will have to switch again.
Hi there! My name is Stannus J. Wolfieschlegelsteinnerbergerdorfmann and I switched from Linux and Mac to Windows because I am a blithering idiot that barely knows how to turn my computer on. And I like the Tellytubby start-up screen, which brings back good memories of my stay at a rehabilitation program for the cowardly. I simply LuuuuV Microsoft products because I have learned to love the torturer, humbly accepting all abuse. With each surprise announcement of a new security breach concerning M$ or whenever Monopolosoft is caught in another lie, I simply turn all three of my other cheeks. I love Bill Gates because is hurts sooooo good!
Rien n'est plus beau que le creux du 0.
[Steve Ballmer] added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Manager: Have you added any gaping holes in security?
Peon: No.
Manager: Have you lied to our customers?
Peon: No.
Manager: Have you disobeyed any Federal court orders?
Peon: No.
Manager: You're fired.
Stop-Prism.org: Opt Out of Surveillance
I can picture the ad now:
It would be pure genius!
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
Microsoft Damage Control wraps up two days of debate on Wes Rataushk and Assoc Associates
Microsoft Damage Control in session 17 October - Microsoft Damage Control today wrapped up two days of open debate on PR firm Wes Rataushk and Assoc Associates, with over 40 departments - including all 15 board members - participating in the discussions, which began yesterday and included widespread calls for Valerie G. Mallinson's compliance as well as numerous pleas to avoid a violent confrontation.
Addressing Microsoft today on behalf of the Trustworthy Computing, Mokhtar Lamani hailed Wes Rataushk and Associates's decision to re-admit Microsoft ad inspectors, calling this a "first step" towards a settlement of the issue leading to a lifting of the sanctions.
He recalled that numerous speakers had stressed during Microsoft's meeting that there should be no double standards in term of non-compliance with Microsoft resolutions. "The history of Microsoft testifies to the fact that some of its PR firms have shown defiance of its resolutions - MSNBC is a clear example," he said. "However, Microsoft, including the Microsoft Damage Control did not resort to the use of force against these firms." Citing academic research, he said that firms other than Wes Rataushk and Associates were currently violating more than 90 Microsoft Damage Control resolutions, including 31 dealing with MSNBC.
Speak truth to power.
And a good thing for the offender this came out now...
At that rate, according to my Webster's, two weeks later and he would have been out of the Casti... and into the Castr...
Is anyone else reminded on the UNIX switch campaign that Microsoft was a partner in... that was hosted on UNIX servers? ;)
You mean ads aren't true? Someone get me the mayor!
Roger base, this is unit five-delta-niner, approaching target now. over
Roger niner, engage targeting computer. over
Base, targeting computer engaged. We are marked and locked in, I can fire when ready. over
Niner, commence fire at the MCP.
....Base! something's gone wrong, the black and green of the targetting computer has been replaced by blue with a mess of letters and digits, and the bird is misbehaving. I'm losing altitude... eject, eject!
- passion
It's just kind of interesting. Microsoft's advertising tactics have never been as unethical as what Apple has been doing with the switch campaign, and yet who bears the brunt of the attacks here?
Ellen Feiss isn't a clip art stock image.
Speak truth to power.
So, this is the justification that Microsoft is going to use to show that they are the ones to deliver 'trustworthy computing'?
"We lied! But we're trustworthy because look over here! They lied, too!"
At my first job, with a company of 7 people, we assumed that when the ad agency did our web site they would be taking pictures of us- especially because the founders considered themselves quite good-looking. But the ad agency used stock photos- they said they ALWAYS used stock photos, and seemed surprised that we thought we'd be photographed.
Nah. They don't always use stock photos.
But they always use that excuse when they meet some extraordinary ugly clients...
------------------
You may like my a cappella music
President Gates has recently indicated that he wishes to fully comply with details of the US inspection settlement. We cannot morally seek regime change without first giving the inspectors time to verify compliance with the terms.
Give peace a chance? =p
We dust off, and nuke em from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure. =)
Yeah! Someone mod this up so I won't have to read it once it's implemented.
"Sometimes a woman is a kind of religion, she can save your soul & set you free from all your sins" - Bad Examples
Whatever happened to "Nobody ever got fired for switching to Windows?"
Come to think of it, isn't having to use Windows punishment enough for the poor lady?
Ballmer should look at the ad itself and fire this dweeb not because she bent the truth, but because the ad was pure garbage.
No one was ever fired for choosing Mircosoft. Mwahahahah
Why, this was one rouge contractor...
And boy, are their faces red.
Every so often for no reason, the beer would turn blue and go flat...
mmm... blue beer - phorm
Roger niner, engage targeting computer. over
Turn off the targeting computer. Use the Force. Duh.