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Microsoft may Sanction the 'Switcher' PR-Rep
Nerull sent in a snippit from The Age saying "Microsoft may consider sanctions against a public relations consultant who tried to pass herself off as someone who had switched from the Apple Mac to Windows XP in a high-profile US advertising campaign, chief executive Steve Ballmer said today." Here is Monday's
Slashdot Story that this follows up to. Lots of amusing little quotes about
what it means to be trustworthy.
Anyone think Microsoft may be starting to sound a little like a government. They are proposing 'sanctions' now, next it will be 'peace keeping' and 'police actions'. Perhaps a dark vision of the future to come.
Ok I'll take my medication now.
Happy Noodle Boy says "F###ing doughnut! Mock me? You fried cyclops!!"
They're going to blockade her ports and refuse to sell food to her?
That's a little overkill, isn't it?
Hokey statistics and ancient misconceptions are no match for a good thought in your head, kid!
Wow, Microsoft might say bad PR person, no doughnut. Or give them a slap on the wrist, or a reprimand in their file.
Wow that's really punishing her. Show her who is boss.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=5838
Who wouldn't 'Switch'?
But this 'action' begs the question. Are they going to act on the other 'testimonials' that are prefaced with stock photo images?
-S
We Apprentice Developers and Designers
. . . oops! We got caught! Why, this was one rouge contractor who didn't meet our standards of conduct. We'll see that s/he is appropriately flogged in the public square. Then we'll go on doing the same things, only being more careful not to be so obvious about it.
Ok so what is MS going to do? Start a software embargo against one person?
Will they raise this issue at the UN and demand a resolution? Hmmm, that would require votes from China and France who are LINUX supporters?
Politics, Politics, my head just spins....
"You can't make a race horse of a pig"
"No," said Samuel, "but you can make very fast pig"
From an organizational perspective, this renders down to if we screw up, you're the one left swinging.
...now she can switch back to something more usable.
Of course it's a bit rich saying it was a rouge PR or marketing drone. I'm sure the marketing gestapo at MS rules with an iron fist and may well have insisted some sort of respose to Apple's succesful campaign.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
At the best (or worst, depending on the angle you're looking from) she came up with the concept and it was okayed by her superiors -- it did end up on the Microsoft site, after all, and from the article she wrote, I seriously doubt she has the technical skills to hack in and put it there herself.
Microsoft's claim that they're the innocent victims of the manipulations of some ad agency schemer is so obviously ridiculous and transparent I can't believe they're even trying it.
It wasn't a outright lie. she had switched to XP, and wrote about it. She changed some of the less relevent details so that people didn't dismiss it as a piece of marketing fluff, but that was all.
The facts remain true. She did switch. She did find it easy.
Besides, this is marketing. It's not expected to be 100% true. How do we know that any of Apple's "switch" stories aren't simply made up?
Let me get this straight, Microsoft hires her to do this little commercial, I imagine not giving much of a shit whether or not she switched. Perhaps she mentioned the word switch, so she seemed to be qualified. Then they will actually punish her for their retarded PR mistake? This is like a parent telling their kids, "Jonny, go tell our neighbors about our dog that we don't have." And then once the neighbors call up asking why Jonny is going on and on about a non-existant dog, the parents say, "JONNY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, YOU LYING YOU LITTLE SOB, IMA GONNA SMACK YOU DOWN!" Punishing your workers for the very thing you hired them to do demonstrates piss poor decision making on the managers parts. MS is the one who came up with this rediculous faux-switch campaign, shooting the messenger who brought it to the people is just irresponsible. Personally, this sounds like a pink-slip relay, everyone handing the responsiblity down until it arrives at the foot of the person who listened to what everyone told them to do.
"What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on Earth, given the experience of the past million years? Nothing." -Bokonon
Well I guess they can't use the excuse that "well she looked like she was high, so we can't really hold it against her..."
it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Will the last person leaving Redmond please turn off the lights?
Trolling is a art,
Blame the real culprit...the nefarious marketing hack Don Funk (donfu@microsoft.com). Here's an image from that ad. Note the name of the user who is logged on.
Valerie may have written the copy but do you think she got the stock image, drove to Microsoft, got on Don Funk's computer, took a screen shot, then uploaded it to the server? Perhaps she just made a "Don Funk" user on her machine and hacked into the MS web site.
Ah well, Ballmer's on the case - "I will certainly castigate the offender." Ooh, I never thought they'd go for castigation at MS...after all, that would leave them with eunuchs.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
This guy makes about as much sense as Pootie Tang.
The neutrality of this sig is disputed.
Micirosoft has been known for this type of behaviour. Using one of their own PR persons to pretend to be a 'switcher' (for the lack of a better term) is just par for the course
I'm not surprised MS is planning reprisals for this person. Pretending to be an ordinary joe off the street that switched is ok - getting caught as a stooge in one of MS's standard FUD strategies though - that's just not acceptable.
<sarcasm>
How dare she be so stupid as to not have gone into hiding and prevent the damage to MS's precious reputation?
</sarcasm>
Karma: Shagadelic (mostly affected by those tight knickers - yeah baby, yeah!)
The article calls Valerie a "PR bunny". Okay, I think that is punishment enough.
Hello, my name is Valerie G. Mallinson and I was a public relations consultant.
Until recently I worked at Wes Rataushk and Associates Incorporates. Recently my life has taken an unexpected turn and now I can honestly say that I was not happy there. At my new job I can't wait to ask every client a smiling "Would you like that Super Sized?"
That's right, McDonalds is the best job in the world. My name is Valerie G. Mallinson and I switched.
Trolling is a art,
MS is putting their spin back in, since they hosed it up the first time. The ironic thing is, had Word not crapped out a bunch of info (which it shouldn't), it wouldn't have gotten to this point. *Of course, actually taking pictures of real people wouldn't hurt either. I would be interested to know whether or not they *paid for the pictures, or just skimmed them off the site.
MS needs to have someone leave the ivory tower and go talk to real people. Those interviews in which Mom says, "I switched from a Brother Word Processor, and now I can print the Lutheran Bake Sale Price List in COLOR! I'm still trying to get 'the online' though."
Bob at the Garage says, "We used to do our stuff on this box here, then the boss says to me, he says, 'Bob! Get me a Module for an 89 Escort.'
I was like, 'What the hell? Napa's closed.'
And he said, we need to get 'the online'. He went out next day and got 'the online' and now we got 'the online'. We have to get the postits from the old one on here though."
After the 'Real People' interviews, MS will realize that they don't *want to know who uses windows, and quietly release Windows LX, which is Lindows, but crashes more.
And here I thought we were all a bunch of illiterate, know-nothing (but very vocal, none-the-less) geeks.
Will wonders never cease.
R
Stuff that matters: circuitbreakers, vacuum-cleaners coffee makers, calculators generators, matching salt+pepper shakers
I come from an advertising & PR background with several small to medium sized agencies.
First off: I'd wager that 90% of the testimonials you see in advertising are manufactured by the agency using their own employees. I've done it, and just about everyone I've known in the business at smaller agencies have done it. We also lend our voices to TV/Radio spots on occasion, and also appear in photo shoots from time to time when the budget or deadline are too tight to solicit (read: pay) professionals/real people.
Secondly: This is always done with the client's complete knowledge.
MS is playing a big game of CYA right now, and the agency is falling on their sword and taking the blame. That's how it works.
Their little stunt backfired on them, so they're spinning the blame to the PR/ad agency.
This sort of thing goes on every day, although not usually as high profile (or embarassing) as this particular case, which delights me to no end.
MS has been steal^H^H^H^H^H emulating Apple for how many years now? And they still can't get it right. Betcha 'ol Steve is laughing his turtlenecked ass off about this one, not to mention the folks at Chiat Day (Apple's agency).
Specifically, this one:
10. Thou shalt not be caught after doing any or all of these things.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said. "If that's right, I will certainly castigate the offender."
I see Ballmer is up to "C" in his word-a-day program.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
Really?!? Marketing not being straight forward? Does this also mean that maybe dude isn't actually getting a Dell?
do not read this line twice.
Big ads all over the place all about how switching was the worst mistake she ever made.
She lost her job, became a public laughing stock, all because she switched to XP.
October 14, 2002
Yes, it's true. I like obsolete technology enough to change my whole computing world around. Here's the bottom line: the UnixPC gives me more choices and flexibility, and better compatibility with the rest of the technology world.
More Hardware Options, for Less Benjamins (or free)
I am a computer engineer. I demand the best in desktop computers. There are many features for the UnixPC platform. My UnixPC came with 1 Megabyte of RAM, a 12" screen, a 20 Megabyte hard drive, a 360 Kilobyte disk drive, a 1200 baud modem for lightning fast connections over a phone line, and a Voice Power board, which allows me to record sounds on the computer. Entirely free. And the UnixPC runs UnixPC OS 3.51, based on AT&T's System V Release 4.
More Software Flexibility
Microsoft Word pales in comparison to vi. There's no equivalent to the versatility of typing with vi and formatting with troff. It does ASCII text formatting for maximum standards compliance. My AT&T dot-matrix printer prints all my code listings with stunning clarity.
The additional "Ethernet" board allows the UnixPC to connect to other computers on your network, or even to the "Internet," a new and growing global network of computers. Telnet does more for me than Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 ever did, allowing me to directly connect and enter commands into remote computers.
How Now Brown Cow?
Now that I've given you the reasons why I converted, here's the 411 on the how, dig it.
Step 1: Operating System Install
The first time I turned on my UnixPC, the UnixPC prompted me to insert the install media. I sat for only an hour, putting floppy after floppy into the computer, while the system copied them to disk. It's like that time I owned a Pinto, and I kept feeding it more and more parts and spending more and more money until it eventually worked.
Step 2: Setting up Accounts
After I installed the operating system and rebooted, my UnixPC asked me to login. I logged in with the installation account, and I was brought into the UnixPC's "Windowing" environment. I easily created myself an account and set the root password.
Step 3: Setting up "E-Mail"
Once I installed the Voice Power board and its driver software, I also installed the Voice E-mail package. E-mail (or Electronic Mail) is a way for people to send each other messages over the Internet. The Voice E-mail package allows you to use your UnixPC as an answering machine, once the answering machine software is installed. When a message is recorded, an envelope icon shows up at the top right of the screen. Clicking on this icon brings you to your Inbox, where the new message will appear as a new E-mail. In the Inbox, you can also compose and send messages to other users, all you need to know is their UUCP bang path.
The AT&T UnixPC has all the features a 17 year old computer should have.
AT&T's UnixPC: The Computer With The Future Built In.
Sheepdot: Open Source good, Closed Source baaaaaaad!
He meant that Microsoft was going to hide the evedence in the pudding! His statemement makes much more sense when I look at it that way.
Hi Steve! (I know you're reading.)
What does Microsoft's code of behavior have to say about employee conduct that gets the company convicted in the Federal court system for multiple violations of the Sherman Act?
What does the code say about executives who lie under oath in videotaped depositions?
What does the code say about manufacturing evidence in a trial?
What does the code say about attempting to intimidate potentially hostile witnesses?
Will you be "weeding out" any of the Microsoft employees who are known to have done all of these things?
Always keep a sapphire in your mind
The article doesn't say that Ballmer is going to punish Mallinson. It says they may punish the marketing person who came up with this idea. That means, most likely, whoever tasked Mallinson's firm with this job. So many have written "It was MS's idea, and it's MS's fault, not Mallinson's" Of course, but MS isn't the borg, despite popular belief. They don't come up wiht ideas collectively and foist them on unsuspecting freelancers.
/.? Care to share?
Most likely, an individual in their Windows marketing group came up with that idea and outsourced it, simple as that. If anyone gets in trouble, it will be that person, or the head of that group. However, I doubt that anyone in that group will really be punished.
The other possibility is that Mallinson's firm came up with the idea. In that case, the firm is probably no longer affiliated with MS. NOW, what's really unlikely is that Mallinson came up with the idea, pitched it to her firm, got approval, pitched it to Microsoft, got approval, then wrote it herself.
Most likely a team was involved. They made a mistake. They got caught. It's over. I doubt anyone will get fired. If they do, that sucks because I think the collective hubris at MS is more to blame than any one person.
Valerie - are you reading
Yes, it's a blog. Sorry if that offends you.
Right, because everyone knows that people in advertising are the soul of discretion and honesty. Wait, what the fuck?
Microsoft doesn't pay random low-level people to lie. They hire whole ad agencies to do campaigns for them. So, maybe it was someone from Microsoft who came up with the idea for a "reverse switched" campaign (nevermind the absurdity of the concept - how many Mac users convert to die-hard Windows freaks?). What probably happened was that MS said, "great, get some testimonials and make it happen!" and the poor shmuck stuck with the job sat there for a little while until she realized that there weren't any such testimonials to be had. So she made one up.
Microsoft has done plenty of ad campaigns in the past, but their deceptions have all been about matters of substance - stuff like "the GPL will take over your software." Lying about something like this isn't just dumb - it may actually be too far beneath their notice to be worth pinning on them.
As a former political activist (who's seen at least one scandal occur close-up), it was immediately obvious to me from the original story that this, too, is a total crock. There's no way that this PR consultant was at any point intending to use herself as an example. Here's what had to be the case:
(1) PR consultant is directed to write a series of fictional "counter-switch" case studies.
(2) PR consultant's name gets recovered from the MS documents sloppily put on the web,
(3) The name is tracked down to the PR firm itself, and questions are asked as to the possible fictition of counter-switch examples,
(4) So the PR consultant in question is directed to take the hit for the company, and claim that the example is not fictional, it's her. Hogwash.
I'd challenge MS and/or the PR firm to prove that this writer/consultant in any way resembles the figure in the case study. I bet she doesn't look anything like that stock photo, nor would any of her personal information match up with the story, if forced out of them.
The case study is just total fiction and this chick wrote it, is all. Now she's jumped on the sword to mask that fact. I've seen practically the same thing happen at a place I worked before.
We know where leadership by an anti-intellectual "strongman" who scapegoats minorities and likes boisterous rallies goes
This person is a patsy. Microsoft breeds this sort of shit with the culture it promotes internally. I know this because my wife worked there for 3 years. They don't care if someone does this sort of thing, they only care that they got caught.
It's the same way the approach secure software. They don't care if it's actually secure, they only care that no one finds the security problems. That's why they get pissed when people find holes in their software. "Well it wouldn't be a problem if someone didn't find out about it, now would it?"
That, and many other reasons, is why they will never open the source on their software. They know there code will not stand up to scrutiny and it wasn't designed to do so either. They make things to make money - period. Now I know some of you idiots out there are going to say, "Of course, Microsoft is a business that's why all businesses make software." My rebuttal is yes software companies make software to make money. However, there is this little thing called professionalism. It's where you do things for your profession because it's the right thing to do. Like when lawyers take cases pro bono or doctors help someone on the street who just got hit by a car. Software should be looked at the same way. You make software secure and reliable because it's your profession and your company should encourage you to do so. Microsoft does not encourage it's programmers to write quality code - it's not part of their culture. I am off topic now so I shall bid you farewell.
Sorry for going off, but the 3 years my wife worked at MS were some really difficult times and we love it now that she's free. It really is a horrible place to work, it's really fucked up.
LoRider
[Steve Ballmer] added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Manager: Have you added any gaping holes in security?
Peon: No.
Manager: Have you lied to our customers?
Peon: No.
Manager: Have you disobeyed any Federal court orders?
Peon: No.
Manager: You're fired.
Stop-Prism.org: Opt Out of Surveillance
I can picture the ad now:
It would be pure genius!
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
Microsoft Damage Control wraps up two days of debate on Wes Rataushk and Assoc Associates
Microsoft Damage Control in session 17 October - Microsoft Damage Control today wrapped up two days of open debate on PR firm Wes Rataushk and Assoc Associates, with over 40 departments - including all 15 board members - participating in the discussions, which began yesterday and included widespread calls for Valerie G. Mallinson's compliance as well as numerous pleas to avoid a violent confrontation.
Addressing Microsoft today on behalf of the Trustworthy Computing, Mokhtar Lamani hailed Wes Rataushk and Associates's decision to re-admit Microsoft ad inspectors, calling this a "first step" towards a settlement of the issue leading to a lifting of the sanctions.
He recalled that numerous speakers had stressed during Microsoft's meeting that there should be no double standards in term of non-compliance with Microsoft resolutions. "The history of Microsoft testifies to the fact that some of its PR firms have shown defiance of its resolutions - MSNBC is a clear example," he said. "However, Microsoft, including the Microsoft Damage Control did not resort to the use of force against these firms." Citing academic research, he said that firms other than Wes Rataushk and Associates were currently violating more than 90 Microsoft Damage Control resolutions, including 31 dealing with MSNBC.
Speak truth to power.
USNews & World Report reported this past summer that the Apple switch ads are questionable. They tried to interview the actual people in the ads, but apparently they are all under NDA.
They were allowed to interview two of them, but only with an Apple representative present. Sounds like they were trying to interview someone living in Iraq?
Furthermore, all of the Apple switchers were paid for their involvement. Who wouldn't switch if they were given a free Powerbook + expenses? Then it also turns out that many of the "switchers" have employment connections with Apple, or work for magazines which receive large amounts of Apple advertising, etc.
It's just kind of interesting. Microsoft's advertising tactics have never been as unethical as what Apple has been doing with the switch campaign, and yet who bears the brunt of the attacks here?
So did Microsoft impose sanctions on themselves when it was found out that during the Microsoft trial letters from a "grassroots campaign" sent to politicians were found to be fake? Was Bill or Steve castigated?
Puhleeese Steve, do you think anybody believes the crap rolling out of your mouth by the bucketfull?
I'm really not trolling here, and I'm not advocating MS in any way, but it seems that a lot of otherwise bright people are hung up on this being a Microsoft blunder when this happens everyday in advertising.
When you see an ad on TV for herpes medication, do you think that person really has herpes? Of course not - you couldn't pay anyone enough to do a commercial like that. They are paid actors, and nothing more. They may even hate the product they are selling.
The PR lady is nothing different; she was, in effect, a paid actor. So they made a false testimony, so what? Advertisers do that all the time to drum up business. It seems slimy and under-handed, but it's the way it works most of the time.
"They said I probly shouldn't fly with just one eye," "I am Bender. Please insert girder."
Roger base, this is unit five-delta-niner, approaching target now. over
Roger niner, engage targeting computer. over
Base, targeting computer engaged. We are marked and locked in, I can fire when ready. over
Niner, commence fire at the MCP.
....Base! something's gone wrong, the black and green of the targetting computer has been replaced by blue with a mess of letters and digits, and the bird is misbehaving. I'm losing altitude... eject, eject!
- passion
I used to work in a couple of marketing/design agencies, and still work self-employed in design and marketing. I'd say it is highly unusual to use stock art to represent real people, especially if the people involved are officers of the company -- after all, corporate partners are most likely going to meet these people eventually, so it would make a strange impression on visitors to see that the people don't look like that at all.
I really wonder what your old employer's agency was thinking (smoking?). Using stock art for testimonials is already questionable (people these days are cynical and intelligent enough to notice the difference), using stock art to represent employees and officers is downright stupid.
This is, by the way, why the Apple Switch ads are so effective. The people look believable (especially Ellen Feiss ;-) ) mainly because they aren't rehearsed, look "average" and so on. As a result, they are more likely to be listened to that some celebrity or photo model. Maybe they are faked, but if so, it's a hell of a good fake.
Cheers,
Ethelred
Everyone wants to be Ethelred. Even I want to be Ethelred.
President Gates has recently indicated that he wishes to fully comply with details of the US inspection settlement. We cannot morally seek regime change without first giving the inspectors time to verify compliance with the terms.
Give peace a chance? =p
No one was ever fired for choosing Mircosoft. Mwahahahah
Why, this was one rouge contractor...
And boy, are their faces red.
Every so often for no reason, the beer would turn blue and go flat...
mmm... blue beer - phorm
Roger niner, engage targeting computer. over
Turn off the targeting computer. Use the Force. Duh.