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Handshake via the Internet

mattlamb writes "British and American scientists will touch using sensors over the internet. "The implications of the experiment could be vast, said UCL, which describes the event as the world's "first transatlantic handshake over the Internet." " Let the juvenile comedy commence!

53 of 411 comments (clear)

  1. Oh I can't resist by Torinaga-Sama · · Score: 4, Funny

    Porn Stocks Skyrocket!

    --
    (/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
    1. Re:Oh I can't resist by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 4, Funny

      I can just imagine this as some sort of perv Turing Test: "Is it a man, a woman, or a machine operating the hand?"

    2. Re:Oh I can't resist by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      there needs to be a (-1 : Predictable) moderation option...

    3. Re:Oh I can't resist by BuffJoe · · Score: 5, Funny

      Can't wait for the research to go commercial? Try the FuckU-FuckMe, the ultimate remote sex solution! :-)

  2. What about the latency? by Tom7 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somehow the idea of sex with 50ms latency doesn't sound so appealing...

    1. Re:What about the latency? by Soko · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yup. My wife demands at least 900s latency from me - sometimes more. 50ms would be ummm.. dissapointing to say the least.

      Soko

      --
      "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
    2. Re:What about the latency? by Fembot · · Score: 5, Funny

      Forget latency.. what about packet loss, DDoS attacks and corrupted data???? That could be very very nasty :-)

    3. Re:What about the latency? by Torinaga-Sama · · Score: 5, Funny

      lol

      SOunds like you might need to readjust your TCP Receive Window Size Calculation.

      --
      (/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
    4. Re:What about the latency? by weave · · Score: 5, Funny

      .. then there is worrying about man-in-the-middle attacks... You begin on one gender and then your partner is moved to someone else of another gender without your knowledge.

    5. Re:What about the latency? by echophase · · Score: 3, Funny

      Snippit from the Linux Orgy HOWTO:

      echo "1" > /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_forward

    6. Re:What about the latency? by YrWrstNtmr · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, the Receive Window Size is just right. The incoming packets may be a little too small, though.

  3. not funny by haa...jesus+christ · · Score: 3, Funny

    say old chap, that's not my hand...

    and thus teledildonics became a reality.

  4. Hey! by soapvox · · Score: 3, Funny

    Att can ressurect thier Ad reach out and touch someone

  5. Other possibilities? by Hates · · Score: 4, Funny

    "first transatlantic bitch-slap over the Internet."

    1. Re:Other possibilities? by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I'm waiting to read about the first haptic murder. Would a phantom knife cut?

  6. Let's hear it for by LumpishGenius · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...hardware handshaking!

  7. Is it just me.. by Laura_007 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    wouldn't this be a step backwards? It is ignoring the vast mental conveyance abilities of the internet to revert to the warn physical ideas that most people are so impressionable about. I think that this might reignate the prior discussions that we've had regarding psychological attachment disorders. People should learn to communicate via things like email or ICQ.

    Thanks for reading!!!!

    --
    I am looking to accumulate friends. Please click on the circle and add me as a friend. Thanks!
  8. zzzzz! by bartash · · Score: 3, Funny

    I bet the UCL side will have a hand buzzer http://www.gagworks.com/gwp_0235.htm

    --
    Read Epic the first RPG novel.
  9. oh my! by Chiggy_Von_Richtoffe · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. develop internet touch sensors
    2. start porn site
    3. ?XXX?
    4. Profit!!!

    1. Re:oh my! by spasm · · Score: 5, Funny

      You can delete step 3 I think.. : )

  10. Too much.... by cybermace5 · · Score: 5, Funny


    "You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."

    One would hope this could be discussed without immediately putting your mind in the gutter, but with quotes like this, it's impossible. It's obvious what these scientists are really trying to develop.

    --
    ...
    1. Re:Too much.... by back_pages · · Score: 5, Funny

      I just can't believe they said "wood-like or fleshy." It's thinly veiled one-liner after thinly veiled one-liner.

  11. I am praying.... by El_Smack · · Score: 5, Funny

    that one of them is a practical joker.
    American Scientist "And that concludes this historic First Ever Trans-Atlantic Handshake."
    Brit scientist (to his buddies) "He he, he thinks the glove is on my hand!"

    --


    There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
  12. Hard, wood-like or fleshy by IvyMike · · Score: 4, Funny

    From the article: "You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."

    There's no way I believe that quote wasn't designed for maximum comedic potential.

  13. Now even more ways to get shot down by dubiousmike · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I can NOT get any action from women all over the world!

    1. Re:Now even more ways to get shot down by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny


      Now I can NOT get any action from women all over the world!

      No, that is the beauty of this: You hack into somebody *else's* action.

  14. What is the hardware? by HogGeek · · Score: 4, Interesting
    What is providing the "feel" on the remote end?

    Is it a suit? and "hand" like object? a glove?

    The article is very vague! Anyone find other article on this?

  15. first internet fake-out by lamz · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Shake, partner!"
    [stretches out hand]
    "Psyche!"
    [deftly runs hand through hair]

    --

    Mike van Lammeren
    It will challenge your head, your brain, and your mind.

  16. ping - poke? by shoptroll · · Score: 5, Funny

    So will 'ping' now be replaced by 'poke'? Gives a new meaning to the term 'finger' on IRC and other communication systems

    --
    Insert Sig Here
  17. Hacker fun by Winterblink · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can't wait for the followup story: "Script kiddies hack robot hands -- scientists recovering in hospital after repeated punches to the face"

    --
    "I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
    -Hoban Washburn
  18. More info from MIT by burrito37 · · Score: 5, Informative

    There's a lot more info in this press release from MIT.
    Using this for telemedicine sounds particularly interesting...

  19. I didn't want to go there by eclectus · · Score: 3, Funny

    I was gonna maintain the moral high ground (HA!) and not go for the obvious pr0n joke, but then, the best thing that could be said was already in the article....

    "You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."

    --
    This signature is a waste of 42 characters
  20. Spam safety by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny

    Spam will not just annoy, but now send you to the doctor.

    "Mom! A pop-up ad poked my eye again. I'm bleeding!"

  21. Had to be said... by Wise+Dragon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pull my finger!

  22. Interactive Computing... by Glove+d'OJ · · Score: 3, Funny

    This story reminds me of a concept a friend shared with me a few years back... he was interested in how much people would pay to shock him remotely over the 'net, and watch the reactions. He had the concept of a web-camera on him constantly, so that you could deliver the shock and watch the results...

    Sample scenarios:
    * eating cereal... ZZZzzzttt... milk everywhere
    * on the bowl... ZZZzzzttt... poo everywhere
    * frosting a cake... ZZZzzzttt... frosting everywhere

    (etc, ad nauseum)

    This is also the guy, however, that said he wanted to be buried with a webcam, so that people could watch him decompose over time, but that's another story altogether...

  23. More information on hardware by Arakonfap · · Score: 4, Informative

    I think this link describes the hardware being used - atleast an earlier version of it. Found through google "touch device phantom"

    http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/nr/1998/phantom.ht ml

  24. What this means for Politiicans by limekiller4 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Blunder of the Ages
    By Reporter AC

    WASHINGTON (Reuters) - In what amounts to a new twist on an old and venerable tradition, Senator Trent Lott (R) accidentally kissed a hand and shook a baby during a fundraiser in his home state of Mississippi today. The technical glitch was quickly discovered to be caused by an aide plugging the new TouchMeFeelMe internet tactile simulator backwards, but the parent of the jostled child was even less pleased than the baby according to witnesses. More...

    --
    My .02,
    Limekiller
  25. Re:1000hz != High Frequencies by WPIDalamar · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Sampling x number of sensors with y bits of precision 1000 times a second? Um yeah, that's pretty damned high bandwith.

    Figure you need a fairly high value of x to determine things like woody / fleshy material, lets say 100 per square inch. (I have no idea if 100 is really reasonable, it may be more like 1000.)

    Then you also need some decent resolution of those sensors, say 8 bits worth.

    Then we get 100 * 1000 * 8 = 800000 b/s or around 800 kb/s (would that be 781?)

    Now, my hand has more than 1 square inch of surface area, so scale appropriatly.

    Subtract compression, add TCP overhead, and that's still several megabit at a minimum ... for just the sensor info of the handshake. If it is more like 1000 per square inch, then we talking even more.

    And I always thought you only needed 3 TCP packets to make a handshake :)

  26. The Device They Are Using by istgut · · Score: 5, Informative

    The device they are using seems to be the Phantom by SensAble Tecnologies (product page). I used one of these a few weeks ago at USC's Integrated Media Systems Cetner, they're pretty cool. If you are interested in this kind of thing, the field is called "haptics," from the greek "to touch."

  27. Tele-Dildonics by Phoenix · · Score: 5, Funny

    Craig Charles (Dave Lister on Red Dwarf for those not in the know) at a sci-fi convention mentioned this technology or something similar to it. But he had issues with it. His bigest concern with having sex like this over the internet was thus.

    What happens if you get a power surge? Rips your dick off and faxes it to Canada?

    I know that would concern me

    --
    -- Wiccan Army, 13th Airborne Division "We will not fly silently into the night"
  28. Re:Speed/frequency confusion? by akiaki007 · · Score: 3, Informative

    I've decided not to mod and am going to reply to you. Frequency is very important when sending information. The higher frequencies travel faster and longer distances than those at lower frequencies, and have the ability to penetrate more surfaces. Thus, the higher frequency talked about here means that the information will be able to travel faster and farther than something at a lower frequency. Think prism.

    --
    "Time is long and life is short, so begin to live while you still can." -EV
  29. Forget latency! by Gruneun · · Score: 4, Funny

    This makes the threat of a man-in-the-middle attack sound even more dangerous. Ewww.

  30. On a more serious note... by Montreal+Geek · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I happened to have worked on a project much like this one over six years ago for a customer of mine.

    The article glosses over the fact that there are very, very few genuinely practical applications for this because of two insurmountable problems.

    For one, our experiments at the time demonstrated that the hand-control idiom suffers from any lag; specifically that delicate manual operations are basically imposible with latency as low as 30ms which rule out things like surgery done this way. Hand dexterity depends on a very large number of relexive immediate movement in response to subtle stimuli like minute vibration of the tool, perceieved resistance, etc.

    The second problem is one that operators of such devices very quickly become disoriented, often nauseated, because of the discordance between years of ingrained knowledge of how the world reacts to touch and the lagged/different input such tools provide.

    People need to learn /new/ idioms for remote manipulation, not attempt to emulate biological systems. That's the same peoblem AI research has suffered from its inception: the day computers will display intelligence is when researchers start working on computer intelligence instead of trying to simulate human intelligence.

    Same goes with tools.

    While this might be a geekly thing to do (handshake over the net) and quite a bit neat, it's neither revolutionnary nor interresting in the long run.

    -- MG

  31. Best last line ever, and some thoughts. by teamhasnoi · · Score: 4, Funny
    If successful, it could allow people to touch and feel each other over the Internet.

    Hands Across America could be succesful this time - with only two people.
    This could have interesting ramifications (no pun intended ;).

    Seriously, people are already more physically separated than ever; rather than bring people closer, lots of technology has only widened the gulf.

    I don't think I'm breaking any new ground here, many /.ers have been in a place in their lives where they've not had close relationships (platonic or otherwise). Even holding someone's hand has a positive effect on people's mental-well being.

    Could this be more isolating than positive?

  32. world peace, or world pieces? by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hmmm. I wonder if W will use it to give Saddam the finger? Perhaps if leaders can flip each other off, using camel parts even, then it will diminish the desire to nuke each other. Then again it might have the opposite reaction. It would be easier to offend somebody with various body guestures than before.

    I can envision a military guard next to the red button. Suddenly a finger pops out of his/her screen and presses it. "It wasn't me who pressed it, General, I swear to God!"

  33. Re:Just hax0r them for christ's sake by Theodore+Logan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not to mention "remote hole."

    Ok, now it's getting yucky. I'll quit.

    --

    "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance" - Derek Bok

  34. Re:You Know Whay This Means! by H1r0Pr0tag0n1st · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the words of Dennis Miller:
    "when the day comes that a unmployed steel worker can strap himself into his Barco-Lounger and fuck Claudia Shiffer for 19.95 an hour, it's going to make crack look like sanka"

    --
    Americans could not be more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. -Dennis Miller
  35. Generating your own packet loss by burgburgburg · · Score: 3, Funny
    Is that what the kids today are calling it?

  36. Uh, yeah by The+Dobber · · Score: 5, Interesting

    So it's like a really sophisticated version of a Nintendo Game Glove. Or a MS Sidewinder Controller with Force Feedback.

    Sorry, I don't see whats so awe inspiring about sending data through a network.

    Maybe it's just me.

  37. Help desk uses, part 2 by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny


    Ann: "Hey, this new remote hand technology is great for our tech-support desks."

    Bob: "Do you mean like showing callers how to reboot and find the Esc key?"

    Ann: "No, for slapping sense into clueless idiots."

  38. Though This One Is Worth It For The Comedy... by John+Hasler · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ...Why is it that "scientists have done x over the Internet" is automatically newsworthy? The same demonstration performed over a cable between two adjacent rooms would not have been significantly easier. Stuffing arbitrary data into TCP packets is just not that hard.

    --
    Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
  39. This is fascinating stuff. by DohDamit · · Score: 4, Interesting

    1. Legal documents can be signed over the Internet. People can put their actual signature down on a piece of paper(provided there's a webcam so they can see what they're signing.)

    2. Provide someone with a transparent mask, and you have talking heads. Beyond the humor factor, you can see all the things they're not saying with their words.

    3. Boxing matches, over the Net. Fight games, oh, and UT5 will be a whole lot more fun.

    4. Back to serious applications, medical procedures could be performed, once this technology was sufficiently advanced. Doctors already wear scopes. Throw on some gloves with this tech and you can hire the best surgeon in the world to perform battlefield surgery(or for those who don't have war on the brain, surgery performed out in the middle of the wilderness.)

    Yeah, I get the porn. Blah blah. So what. This advance is truly amazing, and we'd be fools not to see what we can do with it.

  40. One of my favorite Slashdot comments... by DaedalusLogic · · Score: 5, Funny

    When I went to college, there was a girl named Teresa Watt who had an account on the RS/6000. My buddy Rob had tears in his eyes when he showed me that you can actually "finger twatt".

    Thank you AC... where ever you are.