Slashdot Mirror
The Web's Longest Disclaimer
An anonymous reader writes "American Airlines are nominated for the 'longest website enduser agreement' category with customers requiring to accept this mammoth 'I accept' dialog before using their site. The tale of the tape includes: 181 paragraphs; 3482 words; and
22411 characters. However even mentioning this is probably in violation of the text."
...and even a printable version, in case my toilet runs out of paper ... now *that* is service!
Its not like we really read the disclaimers. The only websites I read the disclaimers are porn sites, because you never know if they say, "By clicking here you agree to be billed $29.99"
I checked the EULA out, and apparantly, it is inconsequential weather or not you click "i agree" or "i do not agree"
Clicking "i do not agree" still brings you to the same page...
Probably the first time in history that an airline had to close down due to slashdot.
My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
According to this :
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure.
So I can still book a flight without agreeing to donate my firstborn to their catering department.
Andrew
"You're not allowed to use our planes to fly them into buildings."
American Airlines specifically denies you permission to hyperlink or provide references to the Site
Oops. Sorry Slashdot.. You've been bad
American Airlines will not treat as confidential any communications you send to us by electronic mail or otherwise. American Airlines has no obligation to refrain from publishing, reproducing, or otherwise using your communications in any way and for any purpose.
Thank You for respecting my privacy
------------
An example of lawyers that don't understand technology
Download or upload files that may damage the operation of another's computer, such as computer viruses, corrupt files, or similar software
When was the last time you downloaded something that hurt a website
Ohh.. I'm sure there's more intresting stuff in there... And I'm also pretty damn sure it's not the longest EULA...
Or how about the fact that you must not: O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure. So no posting on Slashdot either!
Never email donotemail@WeAreSpammers.com
Couldn't they provide a version of their 'terms & conditions' which includes a little video with airhostesses miming actions to clarify it...
... When you reach paragraph 17 masks will automatically drop from the compartment above. Please ensure that your rights have been securely passed to us before helping those sitting next to you ... etc"
"Our trademarks and logos are protected *here* and *here*
That way everyone could click on the "I accept" after ignoring the whole thing with a clear conscience!
Did you try hitting the "I do not accept" button. It gives you the exactly same services as the "I accept" does. Does this mean, that now I can just break any rules they stated in that legal jargon :) ?
I found it many years ago:
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. All your base are belong to us. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices.
This modified disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
American Airlines specifically denies you permission to hyperlink or provide references to the Site, unless you are allowed to do so under a separate written agreement with American Airlines. You are also denied permission to use any trademarked or copyrighted material to provide such hyperlinks or references, unless you are allowed to do so under a separate written agreement with American Airlines. American Airlines bears no responsibility for sites that provide hyperlinks or references to the Site unless those sites are operated by American Airlines.
Is it illegal if I haven't agreed?
What can they do to me
Why do they care if people link to them
What a load of rubbish
Sorry probably a waste of ones and zeroes but not as much as that dribble. The agreement says it is to protect your privacy while using the site but if you read the whole agreement they can do what ever they want with third parties, no recourse to tell you and the agreement can be changed at any time anyway. They aren't protecting privacy at all in that document in fact it looks pretty much like they have already sold their customers down the river and added a clause in the agreement that you can not sue them for anything that results from using the site, like the selling of personal information.
So the agreement should read
We can and will sell your information to third parties.
If you use this site you can not sue us.
It would be an easier read at that.
But the can't hyperlink clause is funny.
I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said: "I drank what?" - Chris Knight (Val Kilmer)- Real Genius
I especially like how nicely formatted and spaced it is, ensuring optimum readibility.
Block-right text and no paragraph breaks? It almost looks like a Slashdot comment...
--Jeremy
Jesus was a liberal
"You agree that you will not Misuse the Site. "Misuse" includes, but is not limited to, using the Site to do any of the following:"
You know the EULA is too long when on a "you will not" clause, the bullets go all the way to the letter S
"Misuse" includes, but is not limited to, using the Site to do any of the following:
...
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure.
Timothy, take down that link!
Any sufficiently advanced libertarian utopia is indistinguishable from government.
> However even mentioning this is probably in violation of the text.
Yep:
"You agree that you will not Misuse the Site. "Misuse" includes, but is not limited to, using the Site to do any of the following:
[..]
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure."
- N.
I guess it doesn't even really matter...I clicked on the "I do NOT accept" button and still got on the site.
:)
Pay lawyers $100,000 to write a perfect agreement but pay a web master only $200 and the whole things goes to hell.
hook
Imagine the poor soul that takes the time to read this entire agreement and winds up missing his flight. :-)
Humorless sig goes here.
"A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming, is not worth knowing" - Alan Perlis
And the people who would have to argue this in court would be ....... Lawyers!
And on that day Satan will be skating to work...
Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the above views
and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out
my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance
between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.
The question of the existence of views in the absence
of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the
reader. The question of the existence of the reader
is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.
(A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism
is beyond the scope of this article.)
Apologies to whoever I stole it from.
And remember kids: Never trust a computer you can actually lift.
" O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure." :( I'm pretty sure the /.'ing qaulifies :X
cause it's AA. and we know RIAA and MPAA are evil, so AA must be the root of all evil
"Teachers leave us kids alone
Does DDoSing their site violate their EULA? (-:
No really. With a *strict* EULA like that, wich no person with any sense at all would ever agree to, it really can't be accounted for as wasting their bandwidth or resources. More like saving potential customers the time it takes to read crap like this.
Not Buzzword 2.0 compliant. Please speak english.
Unless you have some magic printer-ready toilet paper the results of that could be pretty ghastly.
sig.
" O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure."
Just search the text for "your first born", "RIAA" or "pass your email address on to third parties". If no matches, it's probably alright...
Code, Hardware, stuff like that.
Somewhere in the middle, you start to see interesting things included in the text. In the 87th paragraph there is a rather delicious sushi recipe, in the 90th paragraph, a Seinfeld quote, and in the 92nd, it said "Have you read this far, I'll buy you a Big Mac". Not many people have noticed this because it's quite the enormous mass of text.
Verisign has them beat by a long shot.
Yeah, but that's a service agreement. Somehow I think this stuff is much more absurd as a contract you have to accept before they allow you to use their #^#$@#%^ webpage . And then if you refuse, they allow you to use their webpage.
I believe posters are recognized by their sig. So I made one.
I think programmers should submit all legal correspondence in either assembly, Perl, or Lisp.
How refreshing it is to see a link that still responds, even when slashdotted...
You must be over 18.
Me too. Really funny :-)
Probably they put all their efforts into the content of the EULA and have no ressources left to implement the button handlers.
-- Watch me working: www.magerquark.de
--- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
And if you click 'I do not accept', it still directs you to their Reservation page. I have... reservations aboot that.
Since all EULAs pretty much has the same goal in mind, here is a simpler version:
In purchasing, pirating or using this product you have lost all your rights. All your bases belong to us.
Jumpstart the tartan drive.
I'm able to edit the agreement as-is in Netscape 4.79. I added some things about making the peanuts easier to open, deleted the part about keeping my seatbelt on while browsing the site, then clicked Agree.
Offer valid in 49 states. Sorry, Tennessee.
Posting this on slashdot probably violates this clause
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure.
I complained to the aa.com webmaster when they first introduced this silliness. (It was kind of fun to quote the entire agreement in my e-mail.) Their response:
Subject: Re: AAdvantage Account Access T&C
Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 22:38:40 -0500
From: AA Webmaster
To: me
Hello Eric,
Thank you for your comments.
Due to the overwhelming response to the new AA.com, our volume of e-mail has increased and we apologize for the delay in responding to your message.
We appreciate the time you have taken to express your opinion regarding the AA.com Terms & Conditions. It is clear that you feel strongly about this policy. Your message has been sent to AA.com management for further consideration.
We seriously consider all of our customers comments as we prepare future improvements and enhancements to our site.
Sincerely,
Fidelma Early
AA.com Web Services
Original Message Follows:
Hi,
I just visited www.aa.com in an attempt to check my AAdvantage account balance. Upon logging in, I was asked to accept some new terms and
conditions, pasted in below.
This legal document is _9_ pages long. I have neither the desire nor the time to read and understand all this legal crap just to find out how many miles I have in my account. The damn thing is longer than my apartment lease!
For example: "For use of certain services, we may provide you with a pass code. This pass code is proprietary to and the property of American Airlines." Does this mean I can't use the same password for my OnePass or Mileage Plus accounts? Even better, you reserve the right to publish, reproduce, or otherwise use my password in any way and for any purpose!
Consequently, I did not accept the T&C, and, unless there is some way I can access my AAdvantage account online without signing away my soul to AA in some one-sided, humongous tome of legalese, I'll probably lose all interest in maintaining and adding to my frequent flyer account. As far as I know, OnePass and Mileage Plus do not have such obnoxious T&C for their program websites.
What's the deal?
Worried,
Eric
Thank you for visiting the American Airlines web site titled "aa.com" (the "Site").
Well, I didn't visit 'aa.com' . I most definatley visited 'www.aa.com'... so right off the bat we have a bad contract.
I hit "I do not accept" and it walked me right through. Maybe they should spend the money on programmers instead of fucking skunk lawyers.