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Company Christmas Gifts / Bonuses?

Posted by michael on from the lump-of-coal dept.

A wisely anonymous reader writes "Following my company's Christmas party on Friday, I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO! Needless to say I was PISSED. They didn't even comp. parking at the site of the party, let alone a bonus. yeah, yeah, times are tough. I should be happy just to have a job. but getting a damn doll of the guy who made 65 million last year just makes me angry. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

33 of 1,249 comments (clear)

  1. Work by jbf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Enough to be stuck in the office on a Sunday evening.

  2. voodoo by doofusclam · · Score: 5, Funny

    Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!

    1. Re:voodoo by saskboy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'd sell it on eBay. It could turn into a lot of money after all.

      Hey, I managed to sell an empty, used, chewed BIC pen. CEO bobble heads could be pricesless...

      --
      Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
    2. Re:voodoo by CerebusUS · · Score: 5, Funny

      How about this:

      Hang it in effigy. Get a bunch of your co-workers to do the same, hang about 20 of them in effigy from coat hangers.

      If anyone asks, it's a mobile.

  3. If we're lucky... by jhughes · · Score: 5, Funny

    We wont get laid off

    1. Re:If we're lucky... by MicroBerto · · Score: 5, Funny

      Son, in times like these, you should be willing to take the secretary with the small tits as well!

      --
      Berto
  4. Regiving by n3rd · · Score: 5, Funny

    Paint on some cuts, bruises and put a bunch of blood around the neck like he was decapitated. Then give it back to him.

    Maybe he'll get the message then.

  5. What I got by Joe+Jordan · · Score: 5, Funny

    . So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

    the shaft.

  6. I got a quarter bag... by NineNine · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... and a new "tobacco water pipe". Of course, I am the boss. I just hope that I don't decide to start randomly drug testing myself.

  7. lol by l33t-gu3lph1t3 · · Score: 5, Funny

    a pink slip, and the second thing i got in the mail was my tuition payment request. Dammit, I could've been a drug dealer for better pay, and hours, and perks...lol...

    --
    ------- "From bored to fanboy in 3.8 asian girls" ----------
  8. Let me guess... by moronga · · Score: 5, Funny

    I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!

    You work for Oracle?

  9. As a Hall Kinnion Contractor I Got ... by johnatjohnytech · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fully Vested Stock Options at $7 a share.

    Now the stock is at 5.479

    Guess what they are offering this year for contractors who work over 100 hours this holiday season.....

    --
    I Encrypt My IM's
  10. Quit by fobbman · · Score: 5, Funny

    You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.

    Out of curiosity, where do you work? What are the benefits like? Would they pay to relocate?

    1. Re:Quit by mrseigen · · Score: 5, Funny
      You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.


      I'm sure he ran over it with his car in the parking lot. If anyone else got bobble-head dolls, you should smash them all with hammers, shove them in a box and fed-ex them to that fat bastard's office along with a note that says: "We made you. We can break you".

      Then just wait for the cops to show up.
    2. Re:Quit by rmohr02 · · Score: 4, Funny

      But for anybody to collect, they'd have to take the doll apart. What they should do is make a bobblehead for each employee and give it out in mid-December, then in mid-January tell the employees they can turn in their bobbleheads for a generous bonus. Of course, this will only work once.

  11. Could have been worse by egjertse · · Score: 5, Funny

    It could have been a life size doll!

    --
    ^]:wq!^M
  12. Re:At least... by sconeu · · Score: 4, Funny

    You don't understand. When you get the KY jelly, you know your about to be fscked.

    --
    General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  13. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by vistic · · Score: 5, Funny
    Whatever they spent on the design and making of such thing has to be seen as wasted spending. It did not relate the the product of the company, and it likely hurt the company's ability to retain employees.

    Hey, he never said where he works. Maybe he works for a bobblehead making company.

  14. What I got by AntiTuX · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got laid-off from AOL/Time warner. In the folder with the severance package paperwork, they had the audacity to put an AOL cd. I shit you not. I was really fucking offended by that.

    Funny thing is, is this was just the kick in the ass I needed to get the hell out of the tech field anyhow. Sometimes you just hit your artistic and creative limits, and need to move on.

  15. Hang on to those bobble head dolls--- by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    in a few years, after the CEO gets indicted for securities fraud, insider trading, what-have-you, it might be worth a few bucks on eBay. :-)

  16. IN SOVIET RUSSIA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    WE RECEIVE 100% RAISE IN WAGES...FOLLOWED BY A 50% DEVALUATION OF THE RUBLE BY THE CENTRAL BANK

  17. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by uncoveror · · Score: 5, Funny

    Elves? At Pomeroy IT Solutions, (PITS) we are called drones, and we get nothing. It is not just the economy, as we never got anything. They will probably verbally tell us we are all fired when they close the place, as printing pink slips would cost money.

    --
    The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
  18. ANY Xmas bonus... by CaptainPsyko · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is better than what this guy is gonna get.

  19. Self employed... by Eric_Cartman_South_P · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...went to store...bough self iPod...happy with gift.

  20. Re:iPod!!! by rhombic · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe they should give out staplers?

    And if not, maybe matches?

    --
    1984 was supposed to be a warning, not an instruction manual.
  21. Take the initiative ... by mfago · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got as much toilet paper and office supplies as I could carry!

  22. I got laid off for Christmas by theinfobox · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ugh... I have been going downhill since 1999.
    1999: Bonus was 120% of my annual salary(yes, times were great)
    2000: Bonus was 75% of my annual salary(yes, times were still pretty good)
    2001: No bonus; I was laid off, but got 6 months severance (Not bad, considering...)
    2002: No bonus; I was laid off and got nothing at all. (This is the Grinch Christmas)

    I guess 2004 will have to be better than this.

    P.S. Need a Net. Admin.? Look at my resume: Resume for Patrick Anderson

  23. Speaking of ... by EggplantMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pink slips, my manager gave me one but I refused to wear it for him. A guy's got to draw the line somewhere.

    --

    ?-|||-----x<*))))><
  24. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by Amiga+Trombone · · Score: 5, Funny

    Elves? At Pomeroy IT Solutions, (PITS) we are called drones, and we get nothing. It is not just the economy, as we never got anything.

    Where I work, we always get a bonus...

    ...every year, they bend us over and bone us!

  25. Glue it to the bottom of a urinal by SEGV · · Score: 5, Funny

    Might as well make it useful.

    --

    --
    Marc A. Lepage
    Software Developer
  26. Re:iPod!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    He clearly works in 1998.

  27. what i got... by sewagemaster · · Score: 4, Funny

    "So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

    sex from my secretary.... and her BOBBLING head....

    --
    my blog
  28. I'm not hurt... by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 5, Funny

    > What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

    Nothing. But it's OK; I didn't get them anything either.

    Chris Mattern