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How Will Animals Look 250 Million Years From Now?

Posted by timothy on from the and-how-well-will-they-treat-us dept.

angkor writes "'How will Earth look 5 million, 100 million, even 200 million years from now?' Fantasic and fun speculation from Animal Planet. It's the work of Dougal Adams, who started this idea years ago in the out-of-print After Man: A Zoology of the Future."

19 of 406 comments (clear)

  1. like a big mac by ubugly2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    see subject..

  2. My guess: by Valar · · Score: 5, Funny

    I bet they'll still be good eatin'! :}

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    1. Re:My guess: by suss · · Score: 5, Funny

      I bet they'll still be good eatin'! :}

      Will probably taste like chicken.

    2. Re:My guess: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Isn't that what children are for, or am I the only Mantis here?

    3. Re:My guess: by delstar+dotstar · · Score: 3, Funny
      I had organic, free-range pork sausages once. You could just smell the difference when they were cooking.
      It's true; sausage that's allowed to roam and forage on its own makes for some good eatin'.
    4. Re:My guess: by blakespot · · Score: 3, Funny

      Some animals' evolution is no longer guided by survival values, but rather is guided by how-can-it-best-serve-humans values. ...so you're saying animals will develop smooth, rounded mouths, big ears, and flat-heads?

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  3. What will animals look like? by telstar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Like this...

  4. Well I know what humans will look like... by dagg · · Score: 4, Funny
    Humans will develop much larger asses so as to no longer need to purchase couches. And wheels. Evolution will finally come up with wheels. Who would have thunk it?

    As for animals, they will be genetically developed to grow human faces and replacement butts. We're already growing human ears on rats, so you just know we're going to be growing full blown cosmetic replacements for every starlet in Hollywood.

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  5. My prediction... by bravehamster · · Score: 5, Funny
    Damn dirty apes...with plastic machine guns!


    Also, the platypus evolves to look like a perfectly normal duck.

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  6. Re:Interesting! by CharterTerminal · · Score: 5, Funny

    Truthfully, though, I have nothing but respect for anyone who's willing to go on record as predicting that one day, giant squid will roam the forests.

    (Fortunately it sounds like we have plenty of time to stockpile garlic and olive oil.)

  7. Re:5 millon years we will be in an ice-age? by nomadic · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am still a staunch believer in the fact that "global warming" is something that the Earth will fix on it's own.

    And I am a staunch believer in the fact that the Earth will "fix" global warming by getting rid of us.

  8. In 250 Years... by Quaoar · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...penguins will be able to actually sit down.

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  9. Re:Earth has been here a while.... by geek · · Score: 3, Funny

    "And this will be offtopic, but I also believe there is life on this planet that probably came from others. So with that all said, I don't belive there will be much on this earth that hasn't had a similar clone way back in the past."

    Great, now slashdot is being invaded by Raelians. Fuck this, I'm outta here.

  10. squid fetish uncovered by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    It seemed to involve too many squid derivatives, including two land squids.

    The author must have a squid fetish. Will Part 2 have "intelligent" squid that build tools and talk? The author can then use this as an excuse to put on the show he really wants: squid prostitutes, or Hosquid. The only TV sqid I know is Sponge Bob's neighbor. Sounds like a pretty good unexplored niche for news scripts and material to me. "Squid Trek: To slosh where no squid has sloshed before!"

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  11. Re:One thing they seemed to leave out... by jpkunst · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: 'Oh, Shit,' Says Humanity

  12. Re:5 millon years we will be in an ice-age? by silvaran · · Score: 3, Funny

    That reminds me of George Carlin's take on global warming and petroleum products (plastic) -- their implications. He says, "the Earth created us so we could make plastic! It wants to keep plastic for itself!"

  13. Future Life... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    will be pimply adolescent computer geeks living in hermetically-sealed bubbles with really powerful computers.

    The new videogame craze will be zapping protozoa that exhibit jock tendencies while frantically upping the booby size DNA strains (and comparing them to the best ones.

  14. Sharks by tsa · · Score: 3, Funny

    I bet they say that there will still be sharks waaaaaayy into the future. After all, what would Animal Planet be without sharks?

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  15. Aargh.. by archnerd · · Score: 2, Funny

    discovery.com wants to set a cookie. Do you want to allow it?

    No, I most certainly do not.

    www.discovery.com wants to set a cookie. Do you want to allow it?

    No, I most certainly do not.

    This page requires flash. Click ok to download the plugin.

    [Cancel].

    Bye.