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Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

Will Foster writes "There is a groundswell of support for electing Steve Jobs President of the United States." I'll vote for him if I can write in my vote -- with a Newton stylus!

52 of 720 comments (clear)

  1. Eat up martha by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, that would give you reasonable odds of voting in Albert Gore.

    1. Re:Eat up martha by cioxx · · Score: 2, Funny

      it's not what he has done. It's what he will do.

      I can see it now: Fiscal iBudget, Cute (but slow) Warplanes, State of the Union adress will attract more geeks and will spring rumor sites discussing possible announcements about lowering crime, spending more money on education, etc.

  2. well. . . by Rojo^ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

    well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)

    --
    <:
    1. Re:well. . . by Herkum01 · · Score: 1, Funny

      Yeah but the Perot community has larger ears so is more likely to "Hear" the call!

      Ducks!

  3. website by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Thats one of the ugliest websites i've ever seen. I thought Apple-monkies were supposed to be kings of visual stuff.

  4. Why? by genka · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why should I vote for him? Did he invented Internet?

    1. Re:Why? by SageLikeFool · · Score: 2, Funny

      You're right. The last thing America needs is a President who talks clumsily and is self serving. The country sure dodged a bullet there by electing Bush Jr.

  5. Bill Gates for President by johndiii · · Score: 1, Funny

    Get him out of Microsoft!

    :-)

    --
    Floating face-down in a river of regret...and thoughts of you...
    1. Re:Bill Gates for President by klez23 · · Score: 2, Funny
      Get him out of Microsoft!

      I correspond with a prisoner in Texas. Right after W "won" for president, my friend wrote me, "Sorry about the Bush thing, but we HAD to get him out of here. He wanted to kill ALL of us!"

    2. Re:Bill Gates for President by yintercept · · Score: 2, Funny

      It would be a interesting twist. In most cases, being elected president increases one's power and influence in the world. In Mr. Gate's case, it would be a demotion.

  6. Sounds like a great idea... by DasBub · · Score: 5, Funny

    He'll run the country without having any idea of how it actually works, fire anyone who doesn't follow his vision, steal ideas from other countries...

    By God, he might be the best president yet!

    1. Re:Sounds like a great idea... by onosendai · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yeh, and every year the State of the Union address will be held at MacWorld where he'll announce budget figures and employment levels pacing up and down a stage with one of those boom-mics on his face, and in between announcing a speed-bump for the Powerbooks and a new version of iTunes.

      --
      <? include ('signature.inc'); ?>
  7. And in related news by AuMatar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft offers their market leading CEO Steve Balmer. When asked about the news, Balmer replied by leaping around screaming "Voters! Voters! Voters!".

    Rumors that Bill Gates will be a Cheyney style puppetmas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H vice-president have not been confirmed.

    --
    I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
  8. First Presidential Order by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I hereby declare that The White House will no longer be boring "beige", it shall be painted "Lickable Blueberry".

    The Apple hoardes debate among themselves whether the country is now just "insanely" better, or "miraculously" better.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
  9. http://www.jobsforpresident.org/ by SlightlyMadman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not to be confused with http://www.jobsforTHEpresident.org/, as I'd really like to see him get a new one.

    <rimshot />

    --

    Money I owe, money-iy-ay
    1. Re:http://www.jobsforpresident.org/ by happyclam · · Score: 2, Funny
      Not to be confused with http://www.jobsforTHEpresident.org/....

      That site had a TOTALLY different meaning during the last president's term. I don't care who we vote for as president, so long as we get Monica as vice president.

      --
      He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send your fingerprints off to Washington."
  10. Wow! Great idea! by mikerich · · Score: 2, Funny
    Then he can run America just like he ran the Macintosh group at Apple!

    Best wishes,
    Mike.

  11. The state of the nation... by MrLint · · Score: 4, Funny

    With Steve as president we might be some insanely great leadership, as opposed to the normal insane leadership we have now.

  12. iHouse by Big+Mark · · Score: 4, Funny

    If he gets in, won't his first act be to demolish all the important buildings and replace them with curvy, translucent, pastel-coloured plastic contraptions?

    Carrying handles would be useful though. Threat of Al-Qaeda? Just move Washington to the praries, they'll never find them there!

    -Mark

  13. Why bother? by SuperMario666 · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's not like anyone will be able to beat Sharpton anyway.

  14. Slogans: by yunfat · · Score: 5, Funny

    An Apple a day keeps the IRS away.

    Jobs for everyone.

    iAmerica.

    Lets all take acid.

    --
    "Smokey, this isn't Nam, there are rules." -Walter
  15. What would he wear? by Offwhite98 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I am not sure it would be possible for him to change out of that blank turtlneck and bluejeans... but I can already see the slogans.

    When you vote for Steve, you vote for Jobs.

    Steve Jobs, the iPresident!

    --
    Brennan Stehling - http://brennan.offwhite.net/blog/
    1. Re:What would he wear? by DasBooties · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well, he'd at least be better than the iDiot that's in the White House now...

      --

      "Flag on the Moon, how did it get there?"
  16. It'd build interest in the military! by Chester+K · · Score: 4, Funny

    After all, who could resist attacking another country to show off our nice Blueberry bombers, using our new Raspberry radar technology, and firing off our arsenal of iNuke X 10.2 ICBMs (with leopard print warheads). Military tech has been stuck in the same putrid earthy shades of green and brown for far too long!

    Just gotta wonder how well those translucent plastic helmets will protect the heads of our soldiers....

    --

    NO CARRIER
  17. This is illegal... by asparagus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Due to the seperation of church and state.

    Steve cannot be both God and President without violating some part of the constitution.

    Of course, given recent events, that 'problem' can probably be remiedied.

  18. Two years into the presidency by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 5, Funny

    Two years after becoming President, Steve Jobs becomes fed up with the bueracracy and leaves suddenly to start up his own country in his Palo Alto Garage.

    --
    "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
  19. Oh that's just what we need... by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Funny

    ..a government official who'll break down the tough choices so that the American public will vote on which color they like better.

    *hoping that comment's poke at the iMac isn't too obscure.*

    --
    "Derp de derp."
  20. Foreign policy by BitwizeGHC · · Score: 4, Funny

    Jobs probably is probably miles ahead of the other candidates when it comes to foreign policy, particularly the Iraq issue. The Jobs solution? Simple: Oust Saddam, set up a puppet government, rename the country "iRaq", and insist that cartographers color it "lickable raspberry" on all their maps. Not to mention replacing militant Islam with a hip, edgy new "switch" campaign.

    The iRaqis would find themselves embraced by the developed world!

    --
    N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
  21. Please DELETE This Topic by wahay · · Score: 4, Funny

    We've gotta shush this now before it's too late. If Bill Gates hears about it he'll spend billions to run just so he can keep up.

  22. Re:Plutocracy has one advantage by Archfeld · · Score: 4, Funny

    Did this help Perot or kill him ? :) If Bill Gates ran that would ensure that Larry Ellison did as well, if for no other reason than to keep up with BG...

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    errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
  23. I'd vote him if he would be willing to... by mccormick · · Score: 3, Funny

    I would vote for him if he would be willing to accept a yearly sallery of $1; infact, he'd have to demand it. It's not like he doesn't already have enough going on, with Apple and Pixar as it is.

    --
    Pete
  24. Sure, why not... by Jaysyn · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... the US is already run by big companies as it is, lets just go ahead & finish the job....

    Jaysyn

    --
    There is a war going on for your mind.
  25. Oh, blueberry is so four years ago! by protein+folder · · Score: 4, Funny

    The White House will remain white, but all the plaster will be replaced with translucent white plastic.

    The capitol dome will be redone in anodized aluminum. It will also have firewire.

    --
    Your mind is squeezed by a blast of pain!
  26. New military power by peg0cjs · · Score: 2, Funny

    Coming soon to the US Army: iTanks in blueberry!

    --
    Karma: Excellent (Mainly due to Bill & Ted's Karma Adventure)
  27. Re:Elect Linus Torvalds as president! by Grenade+of+Antioch · · Score: 4, Funny

    We could elect Richard Stallman provided that we decided to rename the country GNUnited States of America.

  28. Campaign slogans.... by brocktune · · Score: 3, Funny

    Steve Jobs. Insanely Great.

    Steve Jobs. Vote Different.

  29. Re:Isn't he a deadbeat dad? by SoupIsGoodFood_42 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, Bush was a drunken, crackhead jock. Surely this must be an imporvemnt even if you do believe everything you read or see in a movie about Jobs?

  30. Here's What He'll Say In The Interview by saudadelinux · · Score: 5, Funny

    Barbara Walters: So, Mr. Jobs, why do you want to be President?

    Steve Jobs: I don't want to sell sugared computers for the rest of my life. I want to change the world!

    --
    I didn't think the house band in Hell would play this badly.
  31. Re:$1 a year salary by scotch · · Score: 2, Funny
    $199,999 a year? $799,996 for a four year term? $1,599,992 if re-elected? He already has his own jet, so we could scrap Air Force One. When Steve innovates himeelf as king: priceless.

    PS: profit

    --
    XML causes global warming.
  32. Re:Bugger that by houseofmore · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Linus can't run. You've got to be born in the U.S. to be eligible for the office of President"

    Oh please. Bush was raised by monkeys... I can't see them rejecting a Finn.

  33. Re:campaign by FireBook · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Vote Different (to who you thought you voted for)" (c) Bushco

    --
    My other OS is also FreeBSD
  34. Re:Just because... by tbone1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Uh, that's his Trim Jeans jogging sweats. (Too many moon pies, methinks.)

    --

    The Independent: Reverend Spooner Arrested in Friar Tuck Incident - ISIHAC, Historical Headlines
  35. Steve Jobs? Never! by drwho · · Score: 1, Funny

    This guy is a disaster. He'd be even worse than what we have now.

  36. If Steve Jobs becomes president... by DarkHelmet · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... does that automatically make Ellen Feiss the drug czar?

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
  37. Re:Wrong Steve by Earlybird · · Score: 5, Funny

    Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. (Douglas Adams)

  38. Jobs TV Spot by mdechene · · Score: 4, Funny

    So, I was having these negotiations with North Korea over their Nukes, and then all of a sudden, they were like boom boom boom boom boom and then South Korea was gone. North Korea, ate South Korea.

    It was kinda.....a bummer.

    --

    Karma: Not Particularly Funny.
  39. no no no you heard it wrong. by r00tarded · · Score: 4, Funny

    The economy is in the shitter and techies have spoken, what they said was "We want more *jobs*!"

  40. Re:Wrong Steve by Hugonz · · Score: 3, Funny
    >but he's lightyears ahead of his predecessor in the departments of ethics and moral character.

    Should I assume you're saying this because Clinton got a blowjob while Dubya has to ask Bush Sr. for permission first?

  41. Behold the new White House! by Wireless+Joe · · Score: 2, Funny
  42. Bush and Jobs: The point-by-point comparison by Zhe+Mappel · · Score: 2, Funny
    Bush: Built an oil company that his daddy bought.
    Jobs: Required no help building computers that nobody bought.

    Bush: Who needs books!
    Jobs: Who needs gigahertz!

    Bush: Thinks that, somewhere up there, John Wayne is smiling down on him.
    Jobs: Feels pretty sure that Einstein, Amelia Earhardt, Gandhi and Lennon all want to come back from the dead to buy Macs from him.

    Bush: Proved that it's possible to be a drunken slacker, then marry Laura Ingalls Wilder, and suddenly be considered "presidential material."
    Jobs: Proved that it's possible to make blueberry computers and not be considered gay.

    Bush: Thanks his lucky stars every day that the "war on terrorism" saved his ass.
    Jobs: Thanks his lucky stars every time Apple issues its quarterly report knowing that, somewhere out there, Steve Ballmer is working on a new dance routine.

  43. Why Jobs will get my vote: by zootread · · Score: 2, Funny

    Legalize it maaaaannnn.

    Marijuana that is.. You know Jobs will try..

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    Zoot!
  44. State of the Union Address by schiefaw · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can't wait to hear the "Oh, and one more thing". What could it be? iVote? Cuba has been "aquired"? The justice department is suddenly a lot more interested in putting the screws to Microsoft? That last one is my guess.

    --
    Angleyne: You can't bend that girder - it's unbendable! Bender: Well I don't know anything about lifting, so that ju