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Baked Apple
Aaron Steele writes "Okay, I work at an Apple Authorized Retailer and we just had a lady come in to see if we could fix her PowerBook G4. She walks in the store and comes up to me, 'Sir, I've got a baked Apple.' The top of the screen was a little brown and warped. The lady opened up the machine and the screen was all cracked, and there was not a single key left on the keyboard. It turns out she had the machine in the oven for 20 minutes, baking at 400 degrees. No joke. And what's even more amazing. The machine still works. Ethernet, Modem, USB, it all works. Plug in an external monitor and keyboard and it's good as new ... almost." Am I the only one for whom this conjures up images of Shrinky Dinks?
Surely, not slashdotted already?
Ce n'est pas un vrai mouvement de robot!
Just curious !
Link doesn't work. Bummer. I"ve got a PB ... why the hell did somebody bake it? When I read the headline I thought one of the Froot-of-the-Loom characters was caught toking in the mens' room or something.
Methinks the powerbook was not the only thing that was "baked".
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.
That's the oddest pie recipe I've ever seen.
Stating on Slashdot that I like cheese since 1997.
Was this woman real old? Did she put it in with cookies, or brownies? What was in those brownies? And do you think she has anymore?
She was probably cleaning and shoved the powerbook into the oven to wipe a counter or something.
:)
Don't laugh - my wife did this to a tray full of tupperware (so she could clean the sink and counters) and it ruined her oven.
Ok, now laugh
Evidently if you don't make sure the little switch is in the right position in the back and plug it into high voltage, the things tend to be a little tempermental. Loud pop, a little smoke and no more SUN.
Worst. Sig. Ever.
... and thought it wasn't getting hot enough when it ran.
To a Lisp hacker, XML is S-expressions in drag.
I bet it's the same lady that microwaved her cat after washing him...
I suspect she was trying to be like Ellen Feiss but misinterpreted something.
She was probably trying to get baked and then talk about Apple, but instead baked the Apple.
Simple mistake, really. Anyone could have made it.
Karma: Excellent Birds (mostly as a result of listening to Laurie Anderson)
Grandma's Olde Fashioned G4 Pie Recipie
Apple Filling:
1 large tart Apple Powerbook G4
40 grams / 1 1/2 oz of butter
1/2 cup of castor sugar
1 cup of water
1 cinnamon stick or 1/2 a teaspoon of ground cinnamon
4 whole cloves or a pinch of ground cloves
2 large strips of the rind of 1/2 a lemon (zest)
1 teaspoon of cornflour
Peel the Powerbook and cut into quarters. Remove the core and dice each quarter. In a large saucepan melt the butter over a medium low heat, add the diced Powerbook, sugar, water, lemon rind, cinnamon and cloves and combine. Cover and sweat for 5 to 10 minutes, or until the Powerbook is just tender but still retains its shape. Remove from the heat. Discard the lemon rind, cinnamon stick and cloves. Drain most of the excess liquid off and mix in the cornflour. Set aside to cool.
Sweet Shortcrust Pastry
2 cups of flour
A pinch of salt
125 grams / 4 1/2 oz of butter
1/4 cup of castor sugar
1 egg
1 to 2 tablespoons of milk
Preheat the oven to 180C, 350F or gas mark 4. Grease a large deep pie dish or a round springform tin. Shake two cups of flour into the tin to dust the sides. Pour the flour out into a large bowl or food processor and add the sugar. Cut the butter into small cubes and rub into the flour with your hands or process until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Add the egg and mix or process for another 5 to 10 seconds until the mixture comes together, adding the milk if necessary. Turn out the mixture on a lightly floured bench or board and knead until the mixture forms a smooth ball. Handle as little as possible to prevent the pastry from becoming hard when baked. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 20 minutes.
On a lightly floured bench or board roll out two-thirds of the pastry, 5 mm (1/8 inch) thick. Place inside the greased and dusted tin to form the base and sides of the pie. Carefully spoon the cooled Powerbook filling into the pie shell. Roll out the remaining pastry into a circle, 5 mm (1/8 inch) thick and large enough to cover the Powerbook and form the lid of the pie. Wrap the lid over a rolling pin and carefully unroll over the top of the pie. Trim off the excess pastry, seal the edge by crimping the pastry sides using a fork or pinching between your forefinger and thumb. Make small slits or holes in the lid with a small knife for air to escape. With a pastry brush, lightly coat the top with a little extra beaten egg. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until the pastry is golden. Serve hot or cold with ice cream, whipped cream or custard.
To form a lattice top cut 1 cm (½ inch) strips out of the pastry lid. Lay them across the pie, 5 mm (1/4 inch) apart. Fold back every second vertical strip and lay a new horizontal strip across the strips that have not been folded. Lay the folded back strips back down. Then repeat folding back the vertical strips that were not folded in the previous round. Cover the rest of the pie in a similar fashion.
(Serves 6 to 8)
She was hired to babysit for a young couple's infant daughter. They did not know of her three-doobie-a-day habit. When the couple returned home, she told them that everything went OK and that the pie was almost done. Alarmed, the couple ran into the kitchen, opened the oven door, and discovered that THE BABYSITTER HAD BAKED THEIR POWERBOOK!!!!
Damn, I've got to stop reading alt.folklore.urban.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
A similar situation happen to my younger sister. She got a furby for christmas several years ago and had a lot of fun with it until one day it wouldn't shut up while she was trying to do some homework at the kitchen table. So she decided to put it in a dark quiet place ... THE OVEN! That did a wonderful job of quieting it down, so good that she promptly forgot about it. Later that evening my mother preheated the oven for dinner. A few minutes later she smelled burning plastic ... the poor furby had its fur singed, was severly deformed, and never worked again.
And there was much rejoicing
YAY!
Thoughts on tech, Software Engineering, and stuff
Ok, ok, enough with the Pie jokes. There is plenty of good material here without them:
Are you sure this machine wasn't stolen? From the pictures, it looks kinda hot.
Are you sure she wasn't just trying to burn her first CD?
Insert OB Overclocking Joke Here
"Ma'am, I feally think you are missing the point of FireWire."
best web host ever
So did you think to ask her why she did it?
Another example of a Mac user inspired by the "Think Different" campaign. What other kind of half-baked reason could she have?
I wonder if this will make it into "Real Stories" :)
I'm more amazed that no one asked her why she did it
Clearly this is the start of a new Mac ad campaign. You remember "It takes a licking, and keeps on ticking!"
Soon we will be deluged with pictures of powerbooks that were dropped from great heights, run over by buses...
You get the drift.
Perhaps she thought that overclock and overcook were synonymous.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Why the fuck is this on slashdot? This is ridiculous. Some idiot cooked their laptop and it gets posted on technology news site. You guys really need to evaluate standards.
No sig for you. YOU GET NO SIG!
Isn't it obvious? She's an Apple employee trying to get a story on slashdot to get more hits for her .mac website!
Now where did I put my tinfoil hat!?
so like I was working on a paper for school and I thought it'd. be.. like.. cool.. to put my PC laptop in... the oven... for like.. 20 minutes and it was like.. bleep bloop bleep and it died. I lost my paper.. it was.. a.. really good paper.
Then I bought a Mac laptop. I was working on another.. like.. paper.. and thought it'd be cool to put.. this Mac.. in the.. like.. oven for 20 minutes. and I did.. and it still booted up..
it was a really good paper.
Trolling is a art,
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
Obviously, she was attempting to ascertain the accuracy of the manufacturer's mathematics libraries, especially as pertains to well-known irrational and transcendental constants, when subjected to thermodynamic stresses.
In other words, she was making Apple Pi.
Do we look down on non-computer people so much that we don't even bother to ask anymore why they do stupid things?
Yes. Do you think the submitter's thoughts were:
"Man, this woman is a retard? I better ask her why she did this.."
or was it more along the lines of:
"Bahaha, stupid twat! I can't wait to submit this to slashdot!"
My money is on the latter.
Trolling is a art,
Here, try this.
Who thinks like that? How can you train your brain not to function? How can you train yourself not to be curious? you've obviously not had the pleasure of working in retail.
I worked for Digital Research, we did support for all the DR peripherals, IO cards, mice, sound and video... Lots of jumpers to configure, lots of crap to support...
... Still jerky!...
Well, one day I get a call from this guy, and his mouse wont work,... says that the mouse is jumpy on the screen... "Dirty track ball" I think, so I have him clean that... still jerky,... "Check Settings" I think, settings are fine... so we reinstall the drivers, reconnect the mouse, reboot the system,
So I call over my lv2 tech and his partner, and they go through all the same procedures.... for 45 minutes, were working this guy through navigating in windows with a mouse whose pointer jumps from one side to the other...
The guy is frustrated, pissed at the mouse, pissed at us... and he vents... "I Just don't get this, Why do you sell this mouse if it doesn't work!!! I mean, it's not even designed right, the buttons are hard to click, and the label is upside down..."
My ears peaked, so I took a chance... "Sir," as politely as I could muster, "When you look at the mouse, as your using it... describe what it looks like for me, tell me how your using it."
With a frustrated sigh, he responds, "Well, I hold the mouse, and move the ball with my thumb, and click on the buttons, just like you're supposed to!"
The dumb ass was holding a normal trackball mouse in his hand, upside down, and moving the ball with his thumb. I got him on mute as fast as I could... both me and the other techs, and everyone else who had gathered, burst out in cries of pain and agony.
2 days later, I quit... that was just too much.
The Code Ninja is swift with his tool, precise in his delivery, and deadly accurate in his execution.
I wonder the same thing every time I hear George W. Bush speak.
-
Give me liberty or give me something of equal or lesser value from your glossy 32-page catalog.
Around 1990, my friend Jeff Byers (later head of tech support for Telix at deltaComm) was sitting in the old basement computer lab at Illinois Central College, when a one of the lab staff, for no particular reason, cut up a 5.25" floppy disk with scissors and inserted the pieces into the floppy drive in the next computer over. When someone asked him why he did that, he just shrugged and said "I don't know" and went back to what he was doing. A couple days later, the computer was gone.
I had a PC, and I put it in the oven, and like, baked it for a while, and like it went beep bloop buzz and then exploded. It was a bummer.. It ruined my stove, it was a really good stove too. So then I got a powerbook, and like, then when I baked that, it like bent a little, but still worked and stuff.
My name is Joe, and I'm a moron.
Great story! Seriously.
But: Moderation (-1 Called Computer "Pooter")
My reading, is that anybody who can walk into a store with an obviously fried (er, baked) $2500 box, and say with a straight face that she's got "a baked apple", has got to have a sense of humor.
I'm betting that she went home, and told her astonished friends.
OS Software is like love: The best way to make it grow is to give it away.
The smell of a melting PowerBook is gross enough, but I would I'd imagine cats smell even worse after time spent in the oven.
There are some odd things afoot now, in the Villa Straylight.
Cocoa!
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.
I suggest they rename their objective-c API from Cocoa to Cinnamon.
Guess they turned it up to 451 F.
Hey freaks: now you're ju
"then he gets upset when I freak out when he starts trying to "check email" by slamming his fists on my keyboard..."
I can't believe you freak out when he slams his fists on the keyboard. I'm still typing on my '86 AST keyboard and it survived the great orange pop incodent of '89.
Note: Do not rest a can of pop on someones head while they are typing.
Weapons inspectors are not detectives, guys!
But Dubya sure is a clairvoyant.
Free as in mason.