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Prince of Pop-ups
Ric writes "From the article lead paragraph: 'If you hate pop-up ads, you might blame Brian Shuster. A long-time figure in the Internet pornography world, Shuster recently received a patent for the ad format and is now looking to make some money off the sites that use it. And that's just the beginning - Shuster has a long list of pending patents, including one for pop-up audio ads that cannot be turned off.'"
Here's hoping lots of sites don't want to pay the license fee and stop using popups.
Why doesn't he just cut through all the crap and patent the very idea of being a complete and utter asshole? Then he could demand royalties from all other assholes when they display their assholitudinism. Then, if they get pissed off and come after him, he can claim that in itself was assholish and sue for *that*.
It's the perfect plan. What could go wrong?
how about the /. crowd find the rascal and give him a taste of his own popups..
Maybe this means that websites will stop using pop-ups.
Oh, and I think I devised a way to turn off the pop-up audio:
1. Press the power button on your computer's speakers.
2. When you're done with the site, press the power button again.
Gee, maybe I should patent this.
"Do I dare disturb the universe?"
he's in internet porn eh? Maybe someone can fix it so he can't "pop-up" anymore
Wonderful! An anti-popup web article that uses popup advertising!
Their entire profession infringes and could be liable for centuries of back damages!
Do I like this man or hate him?
Pro: He promotes porn on the Internet.
Pro: He will sue a few people into not using pop-ups, at least for a little while.
Con: He "created" annoying pop-up ads.
The situation would be similar if Hillary Rosen, remaining the bitch that she is, was really hot and liked to give me blowjobs...
Okay, well, the blowjobs would easily win out. But you get the idea.
Down with Saudi Arabia!!!
I think I'll patent annoying stupid people and make a million bucks. I don't know which is more intrusive. Pop-ups, or annoying stupid people.
So in other words...
Patents pending for porno pop-up prince?
Best Windows Freeware
He must be murdered immediately. The consequences of any other course of action are too dire to even be conceptualized.
Murder.
It's not just the money, it's who's collecting. Anyone who wants to use a pop up having to bow down before the porn master who dreamed up the sleazy idea? Classic. I hope someone makes a big fuss and that it becomes common knowledge that advertisers are paying porn masters to be able to irritate you. Guilt by association and tribute! Suffer, you dick heads!
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
"Flashpants (What a feeling)"
(To the tune of "Flashdance (What a Feeling)," Irene Cara)
Late, when there's nothing but a dim glowing screen
That displays what you hide deep inside your drive
All alone in the night, with your hand gripping tight
and your cock stiff as steel, hard as stone
Well I feel my pussy, close my eyes, pinch my nipples
Wrap around, take a hold, of your cock!
What a feeling! Penis greasing!
You can see it all and I'm younger than your wife!
Take your pants off! And get your nuts off!
Pictures come alive when you come into your eye!
Now my tits are perky, rub my clit, spread my pussy
In a flash, you take hold of your cock!
What a feeling! Fiendish beating!
Keep your Lubriderm and your tissues standing by!
Pull your pants down! And make the saints frown!
Pictures come alive then you come into your eye!
What a feeling!
What a feeling (You are horny now)
Penis greasing (Look at porno now)
Pictures come alive then you come into your eye!
What a feeling (You can really see it all)
What a feeling (etc.)
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
1) don't use a sound card. In the case of intregrated audio chips, buy a dremel tool
2) Turn off your speakers
3) Cut off your ears. See note regarding dremel tool in 1)
-Pete
Hmm, pardon me but I believe the proper form of that would be:
while(Sound == Obnoxious){
Axe->swing(Speaker);
}
return(Sound->Calm);
;- )
Who are you? The new #2 Who is #1? You are #617565. I am not a number, I am a free man! Muhahaha.
I don't understand why you guys don't like Pop-Ups. The strawberry ones are delicious.
Grandma Simpson & Lisa "How many roads must a man walk down?" Homer : "Eight!". Lisa: "That was a rhetorical question!" Homer: "Oh. Then, Seven!" Lisa: "Do you even know what 'rhetorical' means?" Homer: "Do I know what 'rhetorical' means?"
for the last time people, I am "frodo from middle eaRTH", not "middle eaST".
I didn't know that any of these creatures actually exist. Please show me an example of one.
Laws are for people with no friends.
I'm going to patent the process of patenting one of these days...
"I have a dream that a guy who designs popup ads is having a major colonoscopy, and the proctologist is saying, 'It's the darnedest thing! Every time I snip a polyp, two more spring up in its place!'"
"Or just hit him. No, wait, I'm a Quaker. I keep forgetting that..."
Yeah, a Quaker would shoot him with a nailgun, railgun or rocket launcher.
I'm an Unreal Tounnamenter myself.
graspee
*reaches over and turns down the volume on the speakers*
-- taking over the world, we are.
the dictionary says:
shyster
n. Slang
An unethical, unscrupulous practitioner, especially of law.
Seems to fit Shuster quite well.
-- This sig for rent.
audio pop-ups that can't be turned off? HA! I can't even get alsa/esd configured to have more than one sound source playing at the same time (and i always have music on). suckers...
At the very least, we need to find a way to circle his house 24/7 with ice-cream trucks that play "Turkey In The Straw" and other similar abominations off-key until he can't stand it anymore and starts beating his head against a brick wall until his face looks like 5 lbs of raw hamburger. Or we could simply find his e-mail address and/or home contact information and send him a deluge of "gift subscriptions," "free trials," Franklin Mint tawdriness, and other junk, not to mention sending him Slashdot's current existing corpus of spam, and some invasive code that will let us know exactly what he's doing every hour of the day (or something equally horrible like that)...or...or...or...
I'm ethically opposed to cruel and unusual punishment, though, so I say we just off the jerk before he can do any more damage. (At the very least, can we exile him to a nice deserted island somewhere with no Internet connection? Please?!)
I'm not a geek, I'm just a clever script.
Welp, you're half right, it is illegal...
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to phish...
Audio pop-ups. Gives a whole new humor to that .wav file that circulated via the forward-everything crowd a couple of years back.
The preceding post was not a Slashvertisement.
Calm computer voice: The Security Manager in your installation Microsoft Windows 2008 has detected that you have tried to initiate an operation to which you do not have sufficient rights: turning off the sound volume. The Web site providing the audio to you has denied you this access. This is a warning. Further attempts will be reported to the originating Web site and Microsoft. Please do not take Web Site Piracy lightly; it is a crime.
I thought I would loose it to the /. people.
Sorry, 2 slashdot demerits for using "loose" correctly. Go to the back of the line!
:-)
Shuster has a long list of pending patents, including one for pop-up audio ads that cannot be turned off.'
I think I'll file for a patent on "Honking a truck's horn in a residential area from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m., advertising a sale of one or more goods". I think I could get some license fees for that. To up my income, I will also file for "Yelling at a carefully chosen target group of people at prominent city places until they agree to buy one or more goods".
Jeez. Indeed, leaving the oceans was a bad idea, after all.
"When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
Can I?
Finding out where this guy lives and break a kneecap or two? ;)