Dear Concerned Customer,
Upgrading to IE7 releases a fix to Flight Simulator that tracks the usage of the program by terrorists! We are initiating a program to force the use of IE7 on all Windows Operating Systems in order to ensure that terrorism! will not win. Thusly, anyone anyone who is not using IE7 must be a terrorists! Except Linux users, they're communists! Microsoft cannot further elaborate on the above mentioned changes due to matters of national security.
Please do not leak this information to the New York Times.
BRANDON ROUTH: Playing Superman isn't getting me enough action, we need something more...
AGENT: Let's start a rumor that your penis is huge.
ROUTH: Works for me!
There's an easy fix for this, start placing your island more than 400 meters apart.
Eh, better make it 450 in case you get an olympic level rat... 500 if he's abusing illegal substances.
You missed it:
"Clearly Google's interest in AOL is their huge CD distribution system, widely regarded as the most advanced in the world as demonstrated by my mailbox."
Swap CDs for DVDs, add a future Google Video on Demand service, and you can get movies either delivered to your computer or straight to your mailbox. Add some ingenious integration of their Video Search (If I knew what it was, I'd be working for Google) and bam they're one of the biggest Movie distributors around.
And unless they join the MPAA at that point, they've done some pretty cool non-evil things.
First you have to pay inflated prices just to use it, and you don't actually own anything.
Then you have to rebuy the product every few years due to changes in formats (records->cds->mp3s)
Very little of the profit goes to those who actually write it
Then there's restrictions on how many copies you're allowed to make of the product.
Darn, now I forgot whether I was talking about the RIAA or Microsoft. In conclusion, It's probably good they're not working together, they could learn waayyy too much from each other
Will we see an article like:
Longhorn's 20,000 New Features!*
*new since Windows 3.1!
Also includes ground-breaking new usability features, a couple of which weren't borrowed from Mac OS X Tiger (we got them from KDE and Gnome)! New security failure features as well!!
A few years ago I was paying 8 bucks for a movie ticket and I got no commercials before it (except for movie previews) Now I pay 10 bucks and I have to watch commercials before the movie starts, often delaying the start time.
Your argument is that these commercial are offsetting costs. Doesn't look that way. It's pure profit going into the pockets of folks who don't think my time is worth paying for. This is also at a time where the movie industry is making more money then they ever have.
This "social contract" has been violeted by both online and offline companies all the time. What do I owe them?
They put commercials on cable television that I already pay for.
They put commercials on DVDs that I already purchased.
They put commercials before movies that I already paid to go see
They put commercials in my email inbox.
They sell my personal information without even telling me (unless it's in super super fine print)
They try to throw away all my consumer rights just by opening their package (EULAs)
Slashdot Mirror
Yet another thing the communists have killed off.
Thanks Communist China...
You haven't been to MySpace, have you?
Upgrading to IE7 releases a fix to Flight Simulator that tracks the usage of the program by terrorists! We are initiating a program to force the use of IE7 on all Windows Operating Systems in order to ensure that terrorism! will not win. Thusly, anyone anyone who is not using IE7 must be a terrorists! Except Linux users, they're communists! Microsoft cannot further elaborate on the above mentioned changes due to matters of national security.
Please do not leak this information to the New York Times.
My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nothing?
Where does Xena fit into this mess?
There is no Dana, only XUL
Mark my words, one day these light-hating slime molds will gather together their robots and use them to block out the sun forever!
Sounds like Apple shouldn't be in the hardware business then.
BRANDON ROUTH: Playing Superman isn't getting me enough action, we need something more...
AGENT: Let's start a rumor that your penis is huge.
ROUTH: Works for me!
"100 different ways to make a flower pot." Why must that be belittled? I know tons of people people who'd love to know how to turn flowers into pot.
Look no further, you're on Slashdot!
There's an easy fix for this, start placing your island more than 400 meters apart.
Eh, better make it 450 in case you get an olympic level rat... 500 if he's abusing illegal substances.
Better question: What the heck is a dinosaur?
I can't find a mention of them anywhere in my Bible. You folks and your alternative science!
"Clearly Google's interest in AOL is their huge CD distribution system, widely regarded as the most advanced in the world as demonstrated by my mailbox."
Swap CDs for DVDs, add a future Google Video on Demand service, and you can get movies either delivered to your computer or straight to your mailbox. Add some ingenious integration of their Video Search (If I knew what it was, I'd be working for Google) and bam they're one of the biggest Movie distributors around.
And unless they join the MPAA at that point, they've done some pretty cool non-evil things.
First you have to pay inflated prices just to use it, and you don't actually own anything.
Then you have to rebuy the product every few years due to changes in formats (records->cds->mp3s)
Very little of the profit goes to those who actually write it
Then there's restrictions on how many copies you're allowed to make of the product.
Darn, now I forgot whether I was talking about the RIAA or Microsoft. In conclusion, It's probably good they're not working together, they could learn waayyy too much from each other
Right, I'm sure they're only allowed to pick one or the other.
You should really consider downgrading to it.
Or what better way to encourage spyware companies to be even more of a nuissance.
"If you're annoying enough, Microsoft will buy you."
They also make money selling this recovery technique to your enemies.
Then go get yourself a job.
Don't worry.
All the guys I know whose girlfriends/wives also use the computer know EXACTLY what the cache is and how to clear it.
So our bacteria computers can get a virus that's actually a virus?
My head a-splode!
Also includes ground-breaking new usability features, a couple of which weren't borrowed from Mac OS X Tiger (we got them from KDE and Gnome)! New security failure features as well!!
A few years ago I was paying 8 bucks for a movie ticket and I got no commercials before it (except for movie previews) Now I pay 10 bucks and I have to watch commercials before the movie starts, often delaying the start time.
Your argument is that these commercial are offsetting costs. Doesn't look that way. It's pure profit going into the pockets of folks who don't think my time is worth paying for. This is also at a time where the movie industry is making more money then they ever have.
This "social contract" has been violeted by both online and offline companies all the time. What do I owe them?
They put commercials on cable television that I already pay for.
They put commercials on DVDs that I already purchased.
They put commercials before movies that I already paid to go see
They put commercials in my email inbox.
They sell my personal information without even telling me (unless it's in super super fine print)
They try to throw away all my consumer rights just by opening their package (EULAs)
Etc..
Robots don't kill people.
Monkey-controlled robots kill people.