Humvee Assault Demo Released

Thanks to several readers for pointing out that a playable PC demo of Humvee Assault, a vehicle combat title, has been released at the Sylum Entertainment site. And don't forget, this title proclaims ".. whether rumbling through a sun-baked desert, steaming tropical jungle or frozen tundra, it's up to you to deliver a knockout punch to America's enemies." Yay America! Boo America's enemies! Here's a 3D Gamers mirror, other mirrors welcome.

Comments

Secret Levels

[jgoeres]

And if you enter up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-Start at the title screen, it unlocks two secret levels: Soccer Mom On A Parking Lot Rampage and Can You Do A 3-Point Turn In Less Than Six Points.

Re:Secret Levels

[Guppy06]

"Can You Do A 3-Point Turn In Less Than Six Points."

A real HUMV? Sure. We don't need no steekin' curbs!

As for that God-awful bowtie travesty, on the other hand...

Re:Secret Levels

[His Nastiness]

Not to nit-pick but I believe it was up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-A-B-A-B-Star t

Re:Secret Levels

[jgoeres]

Not according to this.

Point of fact, though -- I do distinctly remember doing it with B A B A instead of just B A. Maybe either one worked? But I'm sure it was B before A at any rate.

I sure would!

[Anonymous Coward]

Nationalism is stupid.

Re:I sure would!

[taluven]

Actually, Nationalism is a must-have technology, because it gives you riflemen, and lets you initiate a mutual protection pact.

Enemy of the State

[darkov]

whether rumbling through a sun-baked desert, steaming tropical jungle or frozen tundra, it?s up to you to deliver a knockout punch to America?s enemies

I've not seen George Bush or his administration in any of those places.

Re:Enemy of the State

[Anonymous Coward]

whether rumbling through a sun-baked desert, steaming tropical jungle or frozen tundra, it?s up to you to deliver a knockout punch to America?s enemies

I've not seen George Bush or his administration in any of those places.

• George Bush is from Texas, a sun-baked desert full of snakes, gulches and tumbleweeds... And that's just the downtown financial district!
  
  
• George Bush is no tree-hugger. You won't find him trying to save some tropical jungle. Why, if we had any, he'd make sure that his logging friends could build huge roads to cut down trees (and save us all from the threat of steaming tropical jungle fires).
  
  
• George Bush loves frozen tundra. His oil buddies are getting all hot and bothered over spreading open ANWR and giving it a good drilling, thus serving the dual purpose of making them rich and getting rid of some useless wildlife refuge.
  

c&c

[canned_blaster]

"Nationalism will bring us victory!"

God Bless America!

[www.whitehouse.org]

And don't forget, this title proclaims ".. whether rumbling through a sun-baked desert, steaming tropical jungle or frozen tundra, it's up to you to deliver a knockout punch to America's enemies." Yay America! Boo America's enemies!

Wow, glue a "Jingoism Inside" sticker on the box and ship that bad boy!

Oh, my bad. It's already shipping. Hence the patch. Still, should be entertaining for a few minutes, eh?

Tidbit from the website: The demo consists of one mission in Iraq and show's [sic] off many aspects of the full version.

Re:God Bless America!

[Roto-Rooter Man]

The original story said "Yay jingoism!" instead of "Yay America!" I guess simoniker realized what an asshole he was being and edited his post. Either that or he actually looked up the word jingoism and saw that it didn't mean what he thought it did, but I doubt he has that many brain cells.

Would a game in which you fly 747's into American buildings be more to your liking?

Re:God Bless America!

[www.whitehouse.org]

The original story said "Yay jingoism!" instead of "Yay America!" I guess simoniker realized what an asshole he was being and edited his post. Either that or he actually looked up the word jingoism and saw that it didn't mean what he thought it did, but I doubt he has that many brain cells.

No, I think either statement is appropriate. I read the "Yay America" in a more sarcastic light, perhaps that wasn't his intention.

it's up to you to deliver a knockout punch to America's enemies

This is a fair example of marketing meets jingoism. Though for a wonderful example of it, just turn on Fox News and wait a few minutes...

Would a game in which you fly 747's into American buildings be more to your liking?

You mean like Microsoft Flight Simulator? I assumed that was the whole point of the game. Cripes, after about 4 minutes of being bored flying around, you just get that urge to see how fast you can plow the jetliner into the ground.

I suppose if you're a real American, you'd want to crash planes into Iraqi buildings.

Re:God Bless America!

[Anonymous Coward]

Jingo Bells
Jingo Bells
Jingo goes the right
What fun it is to have a war
When I don't have to fight!
Jingo Bells
Jingo Bells
Jingo goes the right
What fun it is to be shot at
When it's someone else's plight!

Dashing oe'r the sand
In a leather-trim Humvee
Listn'n to Rush and Ann
And Weiner on TV

I do support our troops
I'm behind them all the way
If not for the boil on my ass
I'd fight with them today!

Jingo Bells
Jingo Bells
Jingo goes the right
What fun it is to have a war
When I don't have to fight!

Jingo Bells
Jingo Bells
Jingo goes the right
What fun it is to be shot at
When it's someone else's plight!

Observe the tumbleweeds...

[Kris_J]

I hope they paid for this ad, as there doesn't appear to be any other point for the article...

And the point is...?

[Violet Null]

If this were a good game, I could see the point. Hell, if it was just an ok game, I could see the point. Didn't mind the mention of the Galactic Civilizations demo, earlier. But this is neither a good game, nor even an ok game. It is, in fact, a bad game. Not one good review yet. So why the article?

I mean, this is Slashdot. I don't come here for the stories (since I can get 99% of them by reading the Register, Wired, and Salon), but for the community discussion. You don't get much discussion about demos of bad games. At the very least, just do a weekly story listing the demos for that week. Save us the trouble.

Re:And the point is...?

[simoniker]

That's a fair point, actually. This was one of the less essential Games subpage-only posts of recently, and I'm going to try not to pick such relatively minor stuff in future unless there's a genuine talking point around it - and in this case, there probably wasn't. :) Consider me officially chastened.

WORST GAME EVER

[iCEBaLM]

This has got to be the *worst game ever*.

The intro movie voices sound like they were done by the same nerd monkeys who wrote the code. Your humvee feels like it goes a whole 20kph. Enemy jeeps *literally* appear out of thin air. You can take out a tank, a freaking *tank* with your M16.

Not to mention, that the anti-aircraft missile battery control computers you're supposed to take out in the demo mission, the ones that are in bunkers supposedly making you get out of your humvee and go in and take em out, can infact be shot at through the bunker walls. After you've done that you're treated to unintelligible slow-mo speech probably confirming the objective completion. Nice code, jackasses.

Do not waste your time unless you want to laugh at the hilarity that is this game.

-- iCEBaLM

When is a point necessary?

[Syncdata]

So why the article?
A solid 3% of Slashdot is reserved for imposing a submitters political views in an otherwise non-political story, about something that the general /. audience probably won't care about.
I might think I took the wrong offramp is I didn't see a weekly article posted who's Ledes didn't function for any other purpose then to diss America/religion/people "dumber" then the submitter.
Love the forum slashdot, don't get me wrong. But I have to agree with Violet here. The Lede to the article is marginally offtopic, and not particularly newsworthy.
But then, this is the games section, the well travelled, but seemy underbelly of /.

Re:I suppose you would rather play as a terrorist?

[gangien]

out of curiosity.. is your sig in reference to the time the lakers beat the sonics in the first round when they shouldn't have. I damn near cried when that happened.. darn sonics

I won't be playing

[ugly colour scheme]

I have decided that since I do not agree with America's political views I will not purchase any american developed game especially pro-american games.

That doesn't rule out getting it off Kazaa though...

Re:I won't be playing

[Anonymous Coward]

How does the purchase of American-made games in general support political views? That's just nonsense to me.

I for one hope you don't skip out on the greatness that will be Half-Life 2 (if you're into shooters, that is) simply because Valve is based in America. Though I'm too lazy to do research this late at night, I could probably use many more examples of U.S.-made gaming goodness. If you truly have decided to abandon games developed in America, you'll be missing out on scores of great stuff.

I hope you're only teasing..

Re:I won't be playing

[standsolid]

what an uber l337 hacker gettin it off kazaa

so what if you don't agree withmy president's views? why should you hurt the businesses that might not even think that way? have fun playing you're non-american games you probably get off kazaa anyway

Re:I won't be playing

[taluven]

Actually, boycotting american products is a very legitimate way to express discontent. There is no real way (especially for non-americans) to boycott the president, but you can boycott american companies. If the companies see enough of a drop in sales, they will exert pressure on the government.

Now, pc games are not primarily an export industry, and there most likely are not very many other people who are going to also boycott american games, so his actions will have no effect and make no difference. But, that doesn't mean his reasons don't make sense.

Re:I suppose you would rather play as a terrorist?

[Anonymous Coward]

"It Was a Good Day"

-HotB

What about N. Korea?

[brechin]

Where's the rest of the Axis of Evil? Iraq and Afghanistan are mentioned as levels in the full version, but do we get to blow up North Korea as well?