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Christian Videogame Alternatives Explored

Thanks to the TNL forum regulars for pointing to a CBN article discussing the most suitable videogames for Christians (Google cache). The article discusses the "extreme violence, gratuitous sex, and satanic imagery found in many children's video games", and focuses instead on Christian-orientated games such as Ominous Horizons, where "the player takes on the role of a 15th-century Christian who fights demons, but without any blood or gore. The forces of evil - instead of dying - fall to their knees and pray." This N-Lightning-developed game has the player working as a medieval Paladin to return the Gutenberg Bible, which has been stolen by forces of evil, and the developer explains: "..you have a sword of the Spirit.. [that] shoots a burst of light which vaporizes any demonic opponents and the end result is that you know Christ is victorious."

37 of 198 comments (clear)

  1. But all the best games... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...have a "god mode" cheat.

    Isn't that enough advocacy for them?

    1. Re:But all the best games... by Tibor+the+Hun · · Score: 2, Insightful

      that's good, god mode.

      and what about other cheats, would it be all right to cheat in this game?
      i mean you use cheats to help the holy cause. is that good or bad?

      --
      If you don't know what AltaVista is (was), get off my lawn.
  2. Obligatory Simpsons Reference by darylp · · Score: 3, Funny

    That game they had at the Flanders' house, where you got to throw bibles at heathens to turn them into respectable suit wearing white men, was a CLASSIC!

    1. Re:Obligatory Simpsons Reference by TheRoss · · Score: 2, Funny

      Bart: When I'm feeling low, you know what always cheers me up?
      Todd: Is it love?
      Rod: Kindness?
      Bart: Ooh, tough room. Videogames! Whaddya got? [grabs a
      videogame off the shelf, and reads the title] "Billy
      Graham's Bible Blaster?"
      Rod: Keep firing; convert the heathens!
      [cut to a pixilated video screen. Heathens cross the
      street, as a Bible gun shoots the Holy Book at them. When
      a heathen gets hit, he turns into a conservatively dressed
      man with a halo]
      [cut back to the boys]
      Bart: Got him!
      Rod: No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.
      Todd: Look out, Bart! A gentle Baha'i!
      [cut back to the video screen. A Baha'i, sitting cross-
      legged and wearing a turban, floats past. Bart zaps him,
      and turns him into another suit-wearing conservative]
      [cut back to the boys]
      Bart: All right! Full conversion! [puts his arms around Rod
      and Todd] Thanks guys, this really cheered me up.
      Video: Second Coming! Reload, reload!
      Todd: Can we play now?
      Bart: We are playing. We're a team.
      Rod +
      Todd: [pause] Yay!

  3. Games? by kyhwana · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wait, christians auctally use computers AND want to play games on them? What next?

    --
    My email addy? should be easy enough.
    1. Re:Games? by GigsVT · · Score: 2, Funny

      Christians watching the Simpsons and taking away wholly different messages from the jokes making fun of christians?

      I wouldn't be surprised if the Simpsons spoof of games like these actually inspired them in part.

      --
      I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
    2. Re:Games? by damien_kane · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wait, christians auctally use computers AND want to play games on them? What next?

      The second coming; Judgement Day
      Wasn't this forecasted in the book of revelation?

    3. Re:Games? by macdaddy357 · · Score: 4, Funny
      I have an idea for a christian video game. It's called Crusade. You go to the Middle East, and you get to kill moozlim Ay-rabs, burn their villages, rape their women, and set up crusader states. That's phase one of the game.

      Phase 2 happens a few centuries later. You go into villages hunting for witches, and you get to burn all the women at the stake. Don't leave any alive, as they could easily be witches. You also get to go into the Jewish ghettos with false stories like the blood libel, destroy synagogues, kill Rabbis, and burninate! All so a nobleman who has squandered his fortune doesn't have to pay back a money lender. You have to be sure to burn his records, or the debt reverts to the king.

      There are bonus stages along the way where you get to burn books!

      In stage 3, You are in America, you go door to door telling people how they are going to burn in hell if they don't join your church. You even get to deny medical care to children, because God will heal them. In the final stage, You get to help put George W. Bush in the White House, so he can start the Battle of Armageddon. If you do everything right, you are included in the rapture, and you get to fly up into the sky and meet Jesus!

      --
      How ya like dat?
    4. Re:Games? by Babbster · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Don't forget the bonus round where you hunt "abortion doctors" with a sniper rifle.

  4. Not clear on the concept... by joelja · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Ok so demons, and swords and paladins. And they die cause they're filled with the light of the spirit? Great that's so different than any other videogame.

    There and plenty of games in the marketplace, that actually aren't violent and don't require massive killing or demons, or satanism or whatever.

    I blew a significant portion of my flight (9 hours) back to the United States last week. playing simcity 3000, and frozen bubble, a classic console stle game that's more addictive than crack cocaine... http://www.frozen-bubble.org/

    I would hold out both games as examples of what gaming is and should be all about, Entertaining diversions.

  5. The Bible? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Last time I checked, Christians didn't have any problem reading a book full of violence and gore, so why should videogames be any different?

    1. Re:The Bible? by danbeck · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Last time I checked, Christians didn't have any problem reading a book full of violence and gore, so why should videogames be any different?

      Who modded this insightful? This is such an old and tired argument by the same ignorant people, over and over again. Violence is not the real issue here.. it's gratuitous and extreme violence that is rewarded and has no consequences.

      Violence is part of our world. People are violent every day. From the guys thinking ugly thoughts about a co-worker, to the guy yelling at a driver in traffic, to drive-bys in our inner-cities.

      The difference between the violence in the Bible and the extreme violence you see in *some* of today's video games, is that in the former, it's painfully (no pun intended) obvious that the violence is wrong and there are concequences, often very serious.

      The Bible doesn't give you all these examples of perfect people who live the life of the Simpson neighbor every day. These people were human. They did wrong things,they did violent things, but in the end they always came back to God and he forgave them for their hatred against other humans. Saul (who wrote much of the New Testiment) tortured and murdered many early Christians before he came to know Christ and became one of the greatest evangelists of all time. David was called a friend of God in the Bible. He murdered a man only for his wife.

      What's my point here? Violence for the sake of violence (Duke Nukem Whenever) with no concequences is the real problem here, not Gordon Freeman saving the world from an alien invasion (or hopefully City 17 soon).

      What happens is that a relative few start complaining about trash games like Duke Nukem Whenever and somehow that translates into every video game is bad.

      And you, Mr Anonymous coward, are part of the problem of ignorance here. Go read the Bible, not only might it do you some good, but might be able to argue about it's contents in a intelligent fashion.

    2. Re:The Bible? by The+J+Kid · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You're right. Being a level headed Christian myself, these "Christian Video Games" & "Christian Movie Ratings" (with the everwonderfull 'Contains bare chested men' =) are just completely silly.

      Thing is, they allways seem to originate from the States....what's up with that?

      --
      Moderation: +4. Modded 70% Funny and 30% Overrated. 100% Saturated.
    3. Re:The Bible? by floydigus · · Score: 3, Interesting

      The difference between the violence in the Bible and the extreme violence you see in *some* of today's video games, is that in the former, it's painfully (no pun intended) obvious that the violence is wrong and there are concequences, often very serious.

      From The Bible, 2 Kings 2:23-24:

      "And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them"


      Yup, I would say that being torn apart by she bears because you told old baldy to 'go up' was fairly serious.

      --

      All things in moderation; including moderation

    4. Re:The Bible? by aruil · · Score: 2, Interesting

      A bit of context is always important. In verse 9, Elisha (the 'old bald head') asks for all the power of another prophet who had gone before, Elijah. He gets it.

      Then follows a lesson in the use of power--at least, that's how I read it. In verses 13-18, he gives in to his equivalent of peer pressure. It fails. In 19-22, he follows wise advice and a good result comes of it. Finally, 23-24 is an example of what bad comes from careless use of power. It's pretty much your own fault if you carry a drawn knife around with you, and then stab someone in a fit of anger.

      Basically, the story tells a very true lesson: power is not the answer, unless it's bound by some sort of moral control. In these days that is more important than ever.

  6. Sounds familiar... by Bazzargh · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "This time, the entire forces of the netherworld have overrun Earth. To save her, you must descend into the stygian depths of Hell itself! Battle mightier, nastier, deadlier demons and monsters. Use more powerful weapons."

    "Choose from eight powerful spiritual weapons. Each weapon has its own unique use. Maximize your firepower by learning each weaponâ(TM)s abilities...Encounter Satanâ(TM)s minions and banish them back to their evil realm. Evil lurks everywhere you turn....Descend deeper and deeper into the depths of the underworld. Your journey will take you into the very heart of evil, through 18 hand-crafted, highly detailed levels."

    One of these is a blurb for Catechumen (one of N'Lightnings games). The other is part of the blurb for Doom II. Frankly there doesn't seem all that much different here, except for the marketing.

    Well, at least its better to see people doing something creative, rather than campaigning to get games banned.

    -Baz

  7. Too much pressure. by illuminata · · Score: 4, Funny

    Man, if I were a Christian, I'd feel really bad if I lost one of these games. Would God, among others, look down upon me if I lost?

    Child: "Shoot, I lost..."
    Mother: "That's too bad sweetheart, were you lacking in faith again?"
    Child: "No mom! I didn't mean to lose..."
    Mother: "Don't play the game unless you can win."
    Child: "But..."
    Mother: "When you fail in the game, you fail Jesus."

    Not to mention, wouldn't some of these games be contradictory to the "Jesus, God, and faith can't loose" attitude that Christianity has?

    --


    Until Slashdot fixes the funny modifier, use insightful or interesting. The poster knows your intentions.
  8. Advertisement? by Nakanai_de · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Granted, CBN is not what I think of when I think of journalistic integrity, but I felt this article read like an advertisement. I mean, I expect the producers of the games to wax eloquent about how great they are, but this is insane:

    Games such as "Catechumen," set in ancient Rome, feature spectacular 3-D graphics and allow the player to take part in a fierce battle between good and evil.

    That just sounds like it comes straight out of a press release. Of course, when you're dealing with a genre that includes Bible Adventures, maybe you have to plug it all you can...

    --

    Sono koro, bokura wa, sore ga sekai no shinjitsu da to shinjite ita.

  9. What is christian? by Stonehead · · Score: 5, Insightful

    What the newsposter describes as 'christian', is actually 'radically conservative christian', but that seems another US-ism... (how should you describe it otherwise?) In Europe - I live in the Netherlands - blood and gore in videogames is much less an issue. Of course bishops don't really like it and Rome will always be conservative, but at least the churches I know don't push their own 'christian-only' separated media.

    1. Re:What is christian? by witte · · Score: 4, Interesting

      "Europe's glorious spiritual heritage is quickly fading into history as Christianity is replaced by Islam and atheism."

      This guy obviously have no idea what he is talking about.

      Most Europeans are finally getting rid of religion, be it Christianity or Muslim.
      We consider this progress.

      Meanwhile we see the United States seemingly being overrun by conservative christian establisment. In my perception, this makes the US a "dark place".

      Religion is fine if you don't understand your world or are too afraid to face reality. But don't impose your rightwing christian visions on others. Or on Europe for that matter.

      Dang, I hate religious zealots. Sorry for trolling.

  10. new commendments by Lord+Sauron · · Score: 3, Funny

    - Thou shall not act like a camper

    - Thou shall not be a sniper

    - Thou shall not kill members of your own group

    - Thou shall not kill the hostages

  11. Lag of biblical proportions... by NJ+CoolBreeze · · Score: 4, Funny

    That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn! -NJ CoolBreeze

  12. I don't quite see the point by ThePyro · · Score: 5, Insightful
    • If parents attempt to teach a child their values using video games then they're probably not going to be effective. Even less so if the child in question has no desire to play such games. This sort of learning must have a human teacher. What happens when the kid has a question that the game can't answer?
    • That said, what happens when the game does answer the question... but answers it wrongly? I can't see Christian video games being less controverial than other games, simply because there are so many different views of what 'Christian' is. Do the games target Protestants, Catholics, or some other group entirely? If one of these games ever became semi-popular then someone, somewhere would hear about it and blast the game for bad theology. All the other parents would learn of the accusation and forbid their children from playing it (the truthfulness of accusation is irrelevant), and then we're back at square one.
    • What's wrong with the tons of non-violent games out there alredy? Pretty much anything from Nintendo is rated G. Mario, Zelda, etc... Then there are tons of sports games, puzzle games, simulations (SimCity, etc.), and even games where robots beat each other up instead of humans. (Total Annihilation! Woo!) My point is, there are already TONS of G-rated games out there to choose from.

    Games can entertain or they can attempt to teach you life lessons, but I can't see them being used for both without one or the other hurting. Let the kids play video games that are actually fun, and let parents teach values on their own time.

    1. Re:I don't quite see the point by follower_of_christ · · Score: 4, Insightful
      If parents attempt to teach a child their values using video games then they're probably not going to be effective.

      As a Christian parent I agree with your take one hundred percent. The article really didn't say that there weren't any wholesome games out there, merely that there aren't as many as there used to be. Also, the amount of wholesome games being sold is decreasing. I myself don't use such tools to teach my children, but do try to find fun games that are also wholesome and good for their well being. I believe what the article was saying is that the mainstream games teach children negative lessons and that it's becoming hard to find games that don't.

      Do the games target Protestants, Catholics, or some other group entirely?

      Protestants and Catholics have something in common. They both believe Christ died for their sins so that when they die, they can spend eternity with God. Their beliefs are common when considering eternal salvation. Neither will contradict the statement, "The only way to the father is through a relationship with Jesus Christ." Often times we butt heads when it comes to the Religion part, meaning some believe that the way to do Religion is by going to confessional and having a religious hierarchy, whereas the other might believe that churches don't belong in buildings; rather, in homes. There are variations of Christianity just like there are variations of all other religions. Now getting back to the point I believe the article is trying to make. There are fewer and fewer games out today that are wholesome and good for my children. I'll tell ya though.. I sure do love playing Gran Turismo 3 with my wife and kids and plan on getting 4 when it comes out. You'll never see Grand Theft Auto in my house though... hehe
      For some reason, I'm thinking that picking up hookers, stealing cars, and running from the cops is not a good lesson for my kids to learn.

      ...and let parents teach values on their own time.

      Another point I'd like to agree with in your post and offer alternative thought to as well. With the society increasing the way it is and the market pushing games like Grand Theft Auto the way it is, it's becoming increasingly difficult to not look like freaks. It would be nice to think that a parent can teach every lesson to a child and therefore have total dominance on the way they were raised, but in reality, children are taught many of their lessons from external sources that parents don't have control over. From my point of view, I have to minimize the negative impact that society can have on my child's mental development. I believe it's the parent's ultimate responsibility to teach children wholesome Christian values and not rely on video games to do it.

      I can't see Christian video games being less controverial than other games, simply because there are so many different views of what 'Christian' is.

      Well actually, society (in the US at least) still has it's Quaker roots and know right from wrong and define right and wrong from values that have heritage from those Quaker roots. A game like Grand Theft Auto and some of the "Break the Law" games are blatantly thumbing their nose to traditional morality which makes them VERY controversial and sadly generates a ton of free advertising. These games are designed that way from the beginning to generate revenue. SO... I'd say that a Christian game couldn't receive as much controversy as games like that unless it was labeled Christian and showed the opposite.

  13. YES by terbo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Will I be able to go about and conqour pagan civilizations with my metal weapons and trained horses??

    Can I Personally slay the dark skins because they dont believe in my one god!?!??

    Will I refute all other world religions because I HAVE THE ANSWER??

    YES! I've been waiting for an opportunity like this!!

    --
    If you're interested in facts I'll tell you what they are and I'll give you sources - Chomsky on The Big Idea
  14. I don't think there is a need... by xyrw · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ...for `Christian' videogames. Or `Christian' movies.

    I am speaking a Christian-- specifically, an evangelical, relatively conservative Christian.

    A faith that cannot deal with death, violence, evil and malice is impratical-- our world is fallen. A faith that does not endeavour to accept sinners is arrogant. And a faith that is impractical and arrogant is not faith-- it is a crutch, a psychological dependence on superiority; it is not transforming, not understanding, not gentle, not strong, not uplifting-- it is not meaningful.

    Is there evil in a videogame? Well, then, it is a reflection of our world. Surely there will be truth in the game as well! It is of paramount import that one knows how to recognise and dwell on good, and reject evil. Adults should know how to do this; children should be taught.

    It's not about teaching people what to do, or how to act. It's about the meaning of their acts, and of the acts that they witness; though the topic of the day is religion, this is true of most things. In short: adults, behave responsibly; children, learn how to.

    (You know, we could do away with a lot of legislation if people just behaved decently (or made the effort to).)

    1. Re:I don't think there is a need... by RailGunner · · Score: 4, Interesting
      xyrw, I can't agree with you about there not really being a need for Christian games. I'm personally worried about the motives behind a lot of "Christian" media, it seems that a lot of companies are just churning out absolute crap, saying that it's Christian, and reaping the profits.


      But that's not to say there wouldn't be a value in a well written, well designed, Christian-themed game. If the game made the player really think about the consequences of their actions, and NOT just the eternal consequences, then there could be value in the game. Or, if the game presented a compelling Gospel based storyline, maybe on one of the "minor" characters such as Nicodemus or Joseph of Aramathea, I think a game would be a good way to present the Christian message.


      Unfortunately, thus far "Christian" games have just been utter crap. I'd be embarassed if I was the company that produced "Bible Adventures" or other unplayable NES crapware. But, one can always hope that someone with talent will develop a good Christian game... there are popular licenses such as Veggie Tales that could be made into an entertaining game suitable for kids.


      I'd also say that there is a need for Christian movies. Movies such as "Jesus of Nazareth", "King of Kings", even "Ten Commandments" and "Prince of Egypt" (lest we forget or Jewish roots) can reach audiences that otherwise might not experience the message of Christianity.


      However, I think we'd agree that unfortunately too many Christians want to hide behind Christian media and not deal with the fact the we do live in an ugly, brutal, fallen world.

  15. Re: The Article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Score -1: flamebait

  16. oh neat! some other ideas! by kevin+lyda · · Score: 2, Insightful

    how about a game where you travel through europe and gather what you need to fight in the crusades. once there you can kill all arab looking men, women and children! it could be called "grand theft holy lands!"

    oh how about one where you apply different methods of torture to various non-believers to extract confessions of blasphamy, demon worship and sin! it could be called "simquisition!"

    or "simquisition ii" where you extract confessions of whitchcraft from women and children in the new world!

    god, this whole field is wide open!

    "preacher-craft" where you wander around giving hate-filled speeches in tent revivals, on radio and tv. you gather wealth and gain health points from the suicides and murders of gays, lesbians, blacks, immigrants and non-believers.

    --
    US Citizen living abroad? Register to vote!
  17. Without any gore... by DarkVein · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I don't know what it is, but it isn't Christian. Baptists are the only Christian group I can think of which seems to have this fixation, but even they don't have this insanity. I'm certain the people who think this game is a good idea do not read the bible, except for the "safe" sections. I bet they stick little post-it notes everywhere with the "happy" lines, neatly cropped from betwixt two "nasty" lines.

    The message in the Bible is written within a world of disease, common prostitution, gorey punishments, and rationalized cruelty. Christ, within this world, sees everything, and learns from it. He makes a choice to counter the cruelty, and teaches others to help. He teaches that the evils pass if you don't reciprocate, or evils will become stronger with vengeful acts. A Christian who understands this message can take enlightened meaning and understanding from any situation, especially when things go wrong. A Christian wants to increase common well-being, decrease common suffering, and teach others to enjoy life and let transient suffering pass on and die.

    Under no circumstances does this allow a Christian to insulate themselves with illusions and ignorance. Protecting yourself with magick illusions is a mighty sin.

    For example, I had an interesting experience with GTA: Vice City. I was nearly through the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" when I started playing it. The game was nearly painful because I had no options to do anything except the way the story required. From reading the book, every situation I entered I could think of ways to improve the situation, but the character always took the violent route. The characters in Vice City were fleshed out, and the world seemed real. So, when I was or wasn't playing the game, I was thinking of ways to improve my character's situation by improving the situations around him. Your character in VC is such a brilliant and driven fuckup, it's hard not to think of better ways to go about everything. And, if nothing else, you're slightly more mentally and emotionally prepared to encounter such backwards situations, even if they don't involve gunfire.

    Whatever these "Christians" are, they want to pretend bad things don't happen. That marks them as distinctly un-Christ-like.

    --

    I'm as mimsy as the next borogove but your mome raths are completely outgrabe.

  18. Ummm... by Shishio · · Score: 3, Interesting
    working as a medieval Paladin to return the Gutenberg Bible
    I'm not very religious, but I thought Gutenberg came after the medieval period. Also, didn't the Catholic Church oppose the vernacular printings of the Bible, instead of sending Paladins out to guard it? Oh well, maybe these games are just trying to be as historically inaccurate as the rest of the gaming world.
    --
    Twelve fingers or one, its how you play. ~Gattaca (Vincent)
  19. Marketing by Ch3t · · Score: 2, Insightful
    This has nothing to do with sex and violence. Some marketing executive realized there was an untapped market. Do you really think a bunch of "Christians" got together and said, "Hey lets form a rock group" and thus Christian Rock was born? Somewhere a recording industry genius figured out the record companies weren't selling Rock and or a Roll(use Rev. Lovejoy voice) records to "Christian" teens. That's how Christian Rock was born and it's the same reason for this. The "Christian" kiddies aren't allowed to play mainstream games, so we'll make games they are allowed to play. There are Christian ISPs, Christian money market funds, and my favorite the Christian Outlet Store. What does one buy at a Christian Outlet Store? Factory-second Christians?

    --
    I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I really wanted was a club sandwich. --Homer J.
  20. Does it really send a Christian message? by jensend · · Score: 3, Interesting

    It's not mostly about the amount of violence and sex in the game, it's about the message which the game tries to send. The situation is very much the same as with books- Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov depicts a world with plenty of violence and sex but sends a strong message of faith. As plenty of others have pointed out, the Bible is the same way. There are plenty of books with little or no violence or sex which nevertheless broadcast a message of nihilism, selfishness, and immorality.

    As far as I can tell, these games don't really send any message at all (unless it's that missionary work, even among demons, is ridiculously easy, just point and zap), much less one of true faith. If you're going to be playing a FPS which is designed not to send any message, you might as well enjoy it and have it be Serious Sam (with the 'hippie gore' option turned on if you prefer lower levels of blood, etc) :)

  21. Sandy Peterson by ronfar · · Score: 2, Interesting
    A lot of people may not realize this, but Sandy Peterson, level designer for Doom, is a practicing Mormon. I always thought it was annoying that some of the Cult Cop-type Fundies would attack Doom for being Satanic. How is blowing away demons with shotguns and RPGs "Satanic." Black and White should be more objectionable because you can play an evil "Pagan" god, but because Doom fits certain criteria:

    1. It's a First Person Shooter.

    2. It has great demonic imagery to show on talk shows and sensationalist news reports.

    3. It is very well known.

    Doom is the game that gets the bad press. (Note: Both games are cool, I would've thought so even back when I was a practicing Catholic.) Really, if Jack Chick made a game, would it be that different than Doom. (Haw, haw!)

    On the other hand, all Color Dreams has to do is find Jesus, slightly retool Menace Beach and they have a game they can sell in Christian bookstores Sunday Funday

    --
    All the creatures will die, And all the things will be broken. That's the law of samurai. (Jubai, 1605)
  22. commentary by jensend · · Score: 2, Interesting

    A standard commentary on this is that the 'little children' is a definite KJV mistranslation, and that the people who came to him were probably adolescent boys who had been paid to bring water to sustain Jericho while the spring there was bitter (salty; the story is recounted in the four verses immediately previous to the passage you quoted, v 19-22; Jericho is below sea level near the Dead Sea and thus it wouldn't be too strange for salt water to end up in their water table). Having been deprived of their livelihood by Elisha when he healed the spring and thus eliminated the need for bringing fresh water into the city, they were outside the city jeering Elisha as he left, waiting until he came in range that they could stone him.

    I think the commentary is Talmudic and old enough that it quite possibly in some form predated the compilation of 2 Kings. I could be wrong, my memory isn't fantastic.

  23. geez by raindog2 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I hit this article hoping to see a discussion of "different drummer" type games with different and more interesting playmechanics than "obtain bigger weapon, shoot monster/other player." (Seriously, I liked Doom and Duke3D a lot, but by Quake III I was wondering if there was ANYTHING else to play anymore....)

    Instead I got to relive for a moment that dark period of the 80's when born again failed record execs came around to the Catholic schools passing the hat and suggesting we all burn our "satanic" records and buy some new ones that sounded superficially the same, but with awful songwriting and a message from Jesus. Records by bands like Stryper.

    Yes, that's right, these videogames are the 21st century version of Stryper. Rock on, Christian soldiers....

  24. Religious games, inc. by gad_zuki! · · Score: 3, Funny

    Is a small company I founded. We're current working on these titles:

    Zoraster: the return of Zarathrustra! Fight heathens, greeks, and Muslims in this action-packed adventure. 32 levels of puzzle solving fun. Don't let them call you the Jesus of Persia anymore!

    Quest for National Autonomy: Suicide Bombing as last resort. Kabloom you go in this multi-cultural tale of political infighting and intrigue. Recruit men, women, and children to fight the holy fight. (virgin cut scene only available in Europe)

    Children's Crusade: 11-14 year olds run off to the middle east to fight the good fight. Game impossible to win.

    Culture War: bring Christ back to America. Micromanage conservative pundits and media outlets to push abstinace, cover-up pedophilia, push pro-corporate views, and support the war on drugs. There is also no way to win this game.

    Greek Gods: getting it on! (adult title only) Turn into an ox and pick up chicks. Think Leisure Suit Larry, but with lightning bolts!

    Lemmings IX: Janists strike back! Control a Janist who must shoo all lemmings trying to jump over a cliff into safety. Must not step on any bugs using holy broom. Fun for the whole family!

    Caste Attack: Brahmins vs. Shudras. Play a Brahmin, a chosen superior man and punish the Shudras untouchables when they get uppity. Whips, chains, and bonus level where police don't bother investigating a shudra murder.

    Man, Rockstar has nothing on us.