Netflix Granted Patent on DVD Subscription Rentals

A few folks noted a new patent showing up from netflix. They apparently now have a patent on their model of subscribing to rentals- where instead of being charged per disc, you are charged a monthly fee and can keep the rentals indefinitely without late fees. You can patent anything! Get on the bus!

Comments

Other patents...

[ChaoticChaos]

They've also got a patent on not being able to find my DVDs for at least a week and a half after I send them back.

Re:Other patents...

[drinkypoo]

Well, I think that patent is a derivative of the one Blockbuster holds for not recording the return of a movie until the day after I put it in the slot. Rapid Return, my ass.

Re:Other patents...

[sql*kitten]

They've also got a patent on not being able to find my DVDs for at least a week and a half after I send them back.

Funny, dvdsontap.com did the same thing to me, claimed to have received back an empty case. I've taken to videoing myself putting the DVDs back in the cases and sealing it in the envelope, with my digital camera.

Re:Other patents...

[intermodal]

if you read later in the article, you may notice a problem as I patented a method for stepping onto a motorized vehicle designed for conveying pay-per-customer passengers to pre-designated areas without appointments...so everyone who "got on the bus", please send $1,000,000 to me ASAP or you'll hear from my personnel who can say IAAL (without the N like the rest of us)

Re:Other patents...

[theonetruekeebler]

[N]etflix isn't all good, but they are still a step up from the alternatives.

Now that a patent has been issued, what alternatives?

Re:Other patents...

[sunspot42]

I've taken to videoing myself putting the DVDs back in the cases and sealing it in the envelope, with my digital camera.

You should patent that process, you know.

Re:Other patents...

[Skreems]

I'd rather buy a new dvd every month that other people can borrow and watch, and then I own something in the end.

wget divx_codec_5.05.exe
wget decss.exe
wget flask_mpeg.exe

(yeah, I know I'm mixing *nix and windows, but I don't know the apps for *nix :-P)

Re:Other patents...

[outsider007]

I don't go to a museum and expect to see black bars on all the naked statues and paintings, do I?
no but you don't expect to see statues giving blowjobs either

Re:Other patents...

[CuriousGeorge113]

So when will Blockbuster patent "Driving to a brick & mortar retail location for the purposes of renting a DVD/VHS movie?"

Yep, what will the think of next. . . .

Ah well...

[mhore]

if they hadn't done it, Wal-mart would have.

Mike.

Re:Ah well...

[L. VeGas]

Wal-mart doesn't care. They just patented a system of placing items in a large building that has wrinkled, lonely people at the doors and pizza-faced teenagers at cash registers. This combination has the remarkable ability to attract large-rumped 35 year-olds to buy Pringles and t-shirts.

Re:Ah well...

[FroMan]

[scene] US patent office reception desk. A woman dressed in business attire sitting behind the desk is intently looking at a page, picks up another page and glances back and forth between the two. A particularly nerdy fellow with a bow tie and pocket protector walks in.

USPTO-Woman: Yes, can I help you?

Nerdy Guy: Yeah, I here have a patent on a particularly interesting formula of hyper-glasniac-poatable freagle-snaks. It will totally revolutionize the world, bring world peace, end hunger, and raise the poor up to be equal contributors to society.

USPTO-W: Interesting. Please put your money into the slot and we'll let you know after our analysis if this makes it past our highly trained team of patent reviewers.
NG: Thank you very much madam.

[scene] Nerdy Guy walks off stage and woman sits back down behind the desk. Camera goes over her shoulder to view what she is reviewing. In one hand is a patent application and in the other she shuffles through a stack of paper that has complete gibberish and brown smudges on it. Once that stack of paper is finished she stamps the patent application as approved andstands up and walks to a door.

[scene change] This room has a number of men in white lab coats watching over roughly 30 monkeys hanging from the ceiling and climbing over chairs. Most are throwing crap around at each other and the abandoned typewriters and the men in lab coats. Goatse happen to be handing from the walls also. USPTO-Woman walks in one of the doors.

USPTO-W: So. How are the researchers doing today? I've been reviewing a number of applications today and have not found any exact matches, so all applications have been approved since we didn't find any prior art.

Re:Ah well...

[Speare]

Checking stacked negatives. PARITY ERROR: No... If i didnt not like netfix before now i think they are bastards.

Are they bastards or not?

Patent

[jrmann1999]

I claim the patent on short articles devoid of detail, royalties must commence immediately.

Hmmm

[devnull17]

You can patent anything! Get on the bus!

Better do it fast, before someone patents the bus.

Re:Hmmm

[jared_hanson]

The patent for the bus is rendered useless since I just patented getting on the bus.

Re:Hmmm

[stonebeat.org]

as i always say "if you patent the patenting business (suing for patent) you will be very rich soon"

Re:Hmmm

[notcreative]

Spike Lee has prior art.

Re:Hmmm

[Anonymous Coward]

Since when does anything made by Spike Lee count as "art"?

I know!

[m00nun1t]

I'll do a patent on duplicate posts! Anyone know of any prior art?

i wished we had closed the patent office in 1899

[stonebeat.org]

"In 1899, Charles Duell, the director of the US Patent Office, suggested that the government close the office because everything that could be invented had been invented."

Slashdot - missing the big news

[beaverfever]

I'm a little surprised /. has yet to report on my patent of the knife, fork and spoon, as used in human food delivery.

So when did

[Ice Tiger]

The USPO become a US legal work creation scheme, there can be no benefit to mankind by granting some of these patents with obvios prior art unless of course the part of mankind you want to benfit happens to be called lawyers.

omg!

[CowBovNeal]

somebody actually beat amazon.com to a patent?!

I bet there's an earthquake occuring somewhere.

Lending

[Jad LaFields]

I'm going to patent the idea of letting someone I know and trust use something for a short time for no cost, and if they don't give it back in that time, giving them some more time if like them or beating them up if I don't.

I'll call it "lending" or "borrowing"

BackDoor ...

[SuperDuG]

Get this ... I've got a patent pending ... but I'll letcha in on what it's about ...

You rent an item for a set amount of time with a set price.

If you return the item in the time alotted then everything is great. If not you're given a late fee.

It's BRILLIANT!!!!!

Libraries, Movies, Equipment, you all owe me royalties now!!!

I don't get how you can patent a management style or business action. It would be nice if Uncle Sam would start to realize that them there computers on the desk ain't too hard to use. Maybe even somebody can connect one to the internet (of course by paying royalties to Al Gore) and cruise around.

What about the opposite?

[Anonymous Coward]

Does that mean I can patent renting DVD's for a limited time and charging late fees?

I didn't really know that business processes could be patented.

nah

[abhisarda]

That patent's already taken. Too late.

SCO has the rights to that one.

Re:Walmart... haha!

[bigpat]

"A lack of competition is ALWAYS bad for the consumer. In the end, it's not WalMart who's getting screwed, it's you."

Oh Not so! I can't imagine anyone would have thought of this particular method of renting DVDs unless someone at Netflix had shown us the way. That is precisely the intent of patent law, to bring innovation to the light of day so that we may all benefit in the future when the patent expires. Imagine if Netflix hadn't been able to patent this novel business method... they probably would have just decided to sell cabbages by the side of the road or something rather than share their secret. So none of us would have benefited from this "innovation" and we might have spent thousands of years before someone of similar intellect discovered this unique way to rent DVDs! ;)

Re:PATENT SOURCE

[Surak]

Note to self: Patent "drive-thru" method of selling.

Ummm..prior art? Oh, never mind. This is the USPTO we're dealing with here. They'll put patent examiners on it who don't have cars or something ... :)

CmdrTaco Infringes on a Patent

[Betelgeuse]

Dear Mr. Taco,

I represent the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and I must insist that you immediately cease and desist your use of the phrase "Get on the bus!", which is patented by my client under US Patent #2032987. I will expect all references to such phrase to be removed from your site by 12:00 AM GMT on June 25, 2003.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Re:PATENT SOURCE

[dmayle]

You think you jest... Here in France, the drive-thru didn't exist before McDonalds came, so they called it a "McDrive" and trademarked the name...

Re:Other patents...german bread

[Anonymous Coward]

Start reporting them as stollen. ..........How is german bread going to help? If you start telling people that their DVDs have turned into german bread, they'll think you're mad.

Patent # 31337

[Anonymous Coward]

You can patent anything! Get on the bus!

Sorry, that statement is an infringement on my patent, number 31337, "A method of Pedestrian embarkment from cement or other hard packed substrate onto rectangular public transit conveyance via the method of foot lifting and leg extension."

Re:PATENT SOURCE

[Craig Maloney]

Work the words "on the web" in there, and you'll not only have a business model, but a guaranteed patent as well.

You forgot to log off and change your id...

[Anonymous Coward]

Der.. Don't you look like a fool? You forgot to log off and change your id (or post anonymously). Nice way to stick up for yourself, turd.

Re:You forgot to log off and change your id...

[TotallyUseless]

That is the funniest thing i have seen on here all day

Bus

[Gax]

>You can patent anything! Get on the bus!

I have a patent on getting on the bus.

Want to reply to yourself to back yourself up?

[Anonymous Coward]

Here are the rest of your friends:
matbrady@bored.com
matbrady@bored.com
matbrady@bored.com
matbrady@bored.com

Re:Other patents...german bread

[Lonath]

Start reporting them as stollen. ..........How is german bread going to help?

Oh, you silly grammer Nazi, you.

stop

[Anonymous Coward]

You can patent anything! Get on the bus!

Sorry but I noticed that, although everything about a bus is patented, actually getting on it wasn't. So my application's in for that. Don't get on the bus if you don't intend to pay royalties.

Hmm... I think I'll file for a patent

[OrangeGoo]

I'm going to patent the rental process by which users rent a DVD at no charge but must return it within 48 hours from the time they placed their order or face a $3.99 per day late fee. All orders will be shipped out via Pony Express from a warehouse in central Africa. All shipments leaving the continent will go by sail-less raft.

I think it could make money!

Patented patents...

[WaldorfSalad]

In other industry news, today Santa Cruz Operations (SCO) filed suit against Netflix in Federal Court, claiming NetFlix used SCO's patented business methods. According to one SCO insider, "Those NetFlix bastards think they can just patent any old thing, but we are prepared to demonstrate that we have a patent on patenting stuff, provided that the court, judge, and God himself sign this NDA before reviewing our 'Patent Patent'. We've had NetFlix on double-secret probation for a while now, and we're ready for them."