Microsoft Steps Up Anti-Spam Efforts

An anonymous reader writes "Bill Gates announces new focus at Microsoft to abolish spam. Read the announcement titled Toward a Spam-Free Future."

Comments

Finally....

[Goalie_Ca]

they can stop sending me spam asking me to pay to increase the size of my inbox because of excess spam.

bill, look up "irony"

[sweeney37]

I must remind everyone, the majority of people who orginally saw this got it from an email.

Mike

Re:bill, look up "irony"

[Anonymous Coward]

Quick, name a mass-mailing worm that *doesn't* use Outlook (/Express)

er...sendmail?

Poor Hormel

[bytes256]

I happen to like the refined flavor of potted meat

The way I see it...

[craenor]

Microsoft has already done their part to reduce spam...if you can't get your OS to function, how can you get spammed?

I think it's sunny...

[Marx_Mrvelous]

I just have to chuckle, I wonder what really goes through his head (Bill Gates) when he gets Spam e-mails to help him "Get out of debt NOW!!!" Heh...

Re:I think it's sunny...

[aborchers]

To quote BG himself:

Like almost everyone, I receive a lot of spam every day, much of it offering to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It's ridiculous.

That is too funny...

Re:I think it's sunny...

[moeman]

I got to wonder if he ever got the old "send this to all your friends and Bill Gates will send you $100!" email.

Re:I think it's sunny...

[larry bagina]

Note that he didn't mention increasing his dick size or non-prescription viagra... micro soft indeed!

Understatement

[bjschrock]

Like almost everyone, I receive a lot of spam every day, much of it offering to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It's ridiculous.
Bill Gates

I think Bill just won the understatement of the year award.

Re:Understatement

[L. VeGas]

Like almost everyone, I receive a lot of spam every day, much of it offering to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It's ridiculous.

Bill Gates

You notice he didn't complain about the offers to increase the size of his penis.

That's not so ridiculous, hmmm lil' Billy?

Re:Understatement

[cruppel]

No, what he meant was "Like almost everyone, I receive a lot of spam every day, much of it offering to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It's ridiculous that I don't exclusively own the people and technologies associated with these messages so I could earn another 40 billion dollars"

The star athlete in my high school once told our class "Bill gates could give everyone in America a million dollars and still have money left over." When I inquired how 270 million million is the same as 55 thousand million (he was about 55 billion then), his only response was "...I play football!"

Re:Understatement

[DASHSL0T]

Dude, he didn't call it Microsoft for no reason.

Re:Understatement

[L. VeGas]

Then Longhorn must be to compensate.

Re:Understatement

[john_smith_45678]

Or the ones about "Get Your Diploma Now!"...

Re:Understatement

[SweetAndSourJesus]

Then I could buy a legit copy of Windows XP!

Re:Understatement

[Anonymous Coward]

You notice he didn't complain about the offers to increase the size of his penis.

That's because those were solicited.

Inbox?

[MongooseCN]

Are you sure it was ONLY your inbox they were asking you to increase?

What's next?

[Czernobog]

Abolish Spam?
What's next in the agenda of the MS government? The liberation of users from oppressive GNU/GPL "commie" regimes, polices and practices?
Is it me, or does the wording comes off a bit too testosterone filled and self-righteous?

PS. fp?

Woohoo!

[lewp]

It looks like our spam problems are almost over. I mean, look at what happened when Microsoft decided to "focus on" getting rid of security holes in their products...

Oh yeah :(.

He's going to pay...

[ebunga]

The thousands of twits running open-relay Exchange servers to fix their machines?

microsoft acting like u.s. government

[macshune]

U.S. Government:

1. War on Communism - ongoing
2. War on Drugs - ongoing
3. War on Poverty - ongoing
4. War on Terrorism - ongoing


Microsoft:

1. War on Crappy Security - ongoing
2. War on Linux - ongoing
3. War on Spam - ongoing


# of wars completed: 0

Microsoft abandons Hotmail!

[_Sambo]

Newsflash:

In an effort to curb spam, Microsoft shut down it's web-based email service.

"75% of this planet's spam originates on our servers" Bill Gates was quoted as saying today. "By abolishing Hotmail, and moving to a commercial email solution, our users will be able to reduce their spam intake."

The leaders of the "free" world were skeptical as to the veracity of Gates' comments.

"Another free throw-away service is going down the toilet," said John Q. Public, the CEO of ILIKEFREESTUFF.COM. "Hotmail was the last way for people to assert themselves anonymously and freely on the internet. Granted that most of the assertions that people made were spam, but it's still an assertion."

Gates was not available for comment on his comments.

From the article:

[GoatEnigma]

We are building on advanced work at Microsoft Research in fields such as machine learning â" the design of systems that learn from data and grow smarter over time.

In other news, Skynet went on-line on Monday, June 30th, 2003 and becomes self aware at 2:14 a.m. June 31st, 2003....

Re:From the article:

[mbourgon]

Fortunately, it crashes due to date error, and never becomes aware again.

you forgot...

[macshune]

Skynet, Skynet Solitaire and Skynet Minesweeper (TM) are trademarks of Microsoft Corporation.

Famous last words

[AnalogDiehard]

2003 "At Microsoft, we're strongly committed to the goal of ending today's spam epidemic."

1983 "640K should be enough for everybody"

Coming next: TRUSTWORTHY SPAM

[MobileDude]

brought to you by the makers of Microsoft BOB...

MS Anti-Spam software...

[Strange Ranger]

..is the process of automatically updating...

Critical Update #S15896b: This update will prevent the software from automatically replying to many types of spam sent using the HTML format.

Critical Update #S15897: This update will prevent MS Anti-Spam from automatically deleting certain payment-due notices from certain online services, notably, AOL and your electric company.

Security Update #5498443676a: This update will prevent a malicious spammer from using javascript to turn your installation of MS Anti-Spam into an open SMTP gateway.

Please do not interrupt this automatic update process, which has been activated for your convenience and protection.

Here's an idea.

[ToadSprocket]

On Microsoft master Server...

'net stop hotmail.com'

That Nigerian Thing -

[kremvax]

C'mon now,

If it wasn't for spam I never would've gotten hooked up with that excellent Nigerian thing...

It's coming together now, any day now....

Kremvax

The Micro$oft Spam Protocol Explained

[jmorse]

1. Message Arrives
2. Message sender and recipient(s) checked against known Windows licensees. If a sender or recipient is not a licensee, message is bounced.
3. Message headers are examined for mail client. If mail client is not a Micro$oft client, message is bounced.
4. Message body vetted for disparaging comments about Micro$oft using new "IntelliDiss" technology. If disparaging comments (or intentional derogatory misspellings of company name) are found, message is bounced and forwarded to Micro$oft legal.
5. Micro$oft pays off Senator Disney to sponsor a bill banning the traditional SMTP protocol in favor of MSMTP. Bill passes by a wide margin in both Republican-controlled houses of congress and is signed into law by pResident George W. Bush, who proclaims "You're either with Micro$oft, or you're with the terra-ists." Any remaining SMTP user is secretly arrested and sent to camp X-Ray.

Spam Fighting Techniques

[Spazmania]

So let me see if I have the major companies' spam fighting techniques down:

Earthlink -- fighting spam with challenge/response
AOL -- fighting spam with lawsuits
MSN -- fighting spam with position papers (marketing materials)

Get rich quick!

[bdowne01]

From the article...

"Like almost everyone, I receive a lot of spam every day, much of it offering to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It's ridiculous."

Well, maybe for Mr. Gates... but I'd love to get rich quick!

How nice!

[agent dero]

You all must realize that by doing this M$ is trying to stamp out free speech.

I am a writer, and the only way I can get published is buy spamming every human being on earth.

Examples of my work are spams such as:

• I grew 3 inches in 2 weeks!: A tale of a jewish man's quest to manhood
• Free pr0n now!: A young woman's economic struggle in todays world
• Free VIAGRA trial!: A story about an older man, during life's ups and downs.
• Earn $2,000,000 in one month with Zimbabwae: A tragedy about the fall of a national governement.

Damn you MS!!

Microsoft's secret plan vs. Spam:

[rocjoe71]

1. Embrace spam - by releasing Spam v2.0 they will continue their track record of "innovation";
2. Extend spam - previous versions of Spam will no longer work correctly;
3. Eradicate spam - pretty soon everyone will be using Spam 2.0 instead of the original Spam;

This leaves the future wide open for further "innovations" including:

1. Spam.NET
2. SRM: Spam Rights Management
3. Spam-Bob

Spam control? Don't sell the godamn hotmail list!!

[unixwin]

my dear Billy
If you wern't so silly

and hadn't sold the list
to make money hand over fist

if you turned away from the dark side
went to unix where there is light

you would cuss a little less and be so carefree
cause with unix you can stop spam for free!!

In other news . . .

[pete-classic]

Recently released pedophile organizes neighborhood cleanup.

I think it might take a little more for Microsoft to turn its image problem around . . .

-Peter

I guess they are finished focusing on security

[trippyd]

Now that Bill has solved the security problems in his products, he is moving on to spam. Way to go!

Re:Listening to the user community and acting on i

[Anonymous Coward]

> Bam your done.

Why would I want to bam my done?