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Microsoft Wins Homeland Security Contract
syzme writes "According to The Register (as well as Reuters and News.com), 'The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has signed a deal for Microsoft software worth something in the region of $100 million, covering servers and over 140,000 desktops. This does not however mean that Microsoft and its hench-OEM Dell are poised to hoover up all of the Department's lovely IT budget, nor indeed that this is all new money for them; largely, it seems to be more a case of Microsoft holding onto business it's already got.'" This shouldn't be much of a surprise -- remember the Federal government is already Microsoft's biggest customer.
May the obligatory lame Microsoft/Security jokes begin! Fire away!
My journal has hot
Somewhere, in a deep dark cave, some terrorists are having a jolly good laugh.
Beep beep.
Good news: Orwellian homeland securty is now going to lose all your data as fast as it collects it.
Bad News: "In other news, After extensive backround checks by homeland security, Mr. Nedal Nib Amaso is now head of NTSB....."
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
The Homeland Security Advisory System's current threat level has been elevated to 'blue' (Immanent threat of terrorism due to blue screen)
Jon Bardin
...will be illegal and a sign of terrorism?
-- There are two kind of sysadmins: Paranoids and Losers. (adapted from D. Bach)
"This security patch addresses both previous and newly discovered security vulnerabilities pertaining to homeland security."
Everything in the world is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one you know belongs.
I for one welcome our new technology overlords!
I see you are trying to bomb a country.
Would you like help?
-Get help with bombing the country
-Just bomb the country without help
Crap! Sure won't be the Department of Homeland Stability.
Someone actually got the words Microsoft and Security in the same subject line! :)
So much for Homeland "Security".
Now now, let's not be so quick to criticize. Securing Microsoft systems is extremely simple:
...using the sophisticated simulation of minesweeper.
The US government is pretty much *everyones'* biggest customer.
...will we be handing out EULAs to anyone that wants to have diplomatic ties with us?
"...By installing this embassy, you absolve the United States Government of any responsibility for lost revenue, citizens, or infrastructure. Furthermore, you agree that you will not attempt to negatively influence the revenue, citizens, or infrastructure of the United States..."
blog |
Think how Larry Ellison feels!
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
I hear the Coast Guard is trying to get an exemption from having to use Windows.
:-D
Too many open ports.
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
I'm sure they'll secure those machines well, padlocks, keycard entry systems.
:)
Oh you meant the OS....
One night, I was like, writing a report on how Iraq was trying to buy yellowcake from Nigeria, when all of a sudden it went berserk, the screen started flashing, it was like BEEP BEEP BEEP and the whole paper just disappeared. All of it. And it was a good report! I had to cram and rewrite it really quickly. Needless to say, my rushed report wasn't nearly as good, and now Tony Blair is like, in danger of losing his job!
"If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he's sorely mistaken." Bush on bin Laden
2003 fiscal deficit is now 500,100,000,000.
/. opinions on this development are as follows:
A synopsis of the
Microsoft wins contract for homeland security?
-I feel safer already.
-What's that, an oxymoron?
-We would have caught Osamma but the server was down.
-We could have caught Saddam but the server had a virus.
-We could have stopped xyz but they were using unix and we couldn't read the file format.
-In the interests of national security all computers must now run Windows.
-Please change all NSC keys in the hive to DHS.
-All you base are belong to us.
...will require activation through the Dept. Homeland Security. You may achieve this through a simple https connection via any Passport server.
Please be aware that any relocation, or weight change, may require a new activation, since for homeland security purposes, your personal activation code will consist of a special combination of address, phone number, SSN, and weight.
At first I thought it said "Microsoft wins homeland security CONTEST". My jaw hit the floor. Then I re-read it and realized nothing had changed. *whew*
---- Move SIG...For great justice!
I like theese oxymorons: Great Britain United Kingdom
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
...I've always thought putting MS in charge of security (as with Palladium) was like asking the wolf to guard the sheep.
Perhaps one of these analogies would work, too:
It's like putting a steel door on a cardboard box.
It's walking into a battlefield backwards.
It's like carrying a tiger-repellant rock.
It's like driving eyes-closed because "God is my pilot (or whatever)"
Basically, Microsoft + Homeland Security = a smoking hole that will become the ocean separating Mexico and Canada.
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
I feel so much better. I was starting to see 1984 come true, where cameras spied on all of the citizens, and you were tracked for the sole point of tracking. Now I can feel relief, cuz when I take a piss in the bushes outside of a QuickyMart, I know their servers won't be recording me, they'll be rebooting so they can install yet another windows critical update (tm)
-- If we don't stand up for our rights, now, there will be no right to stand up for them later.
> Bad News: "In other news, After extensive backround checks by homeland security, Mr. Nedal Nib Amaso is now head of NTSB....."
Surveying the smoldering crater, President Ballmer was heard to remark "Y'know, they should have known that J0N45H-C40FT15-054M4-B1NL4-D3NIN-4-P16-5U1T wasn't a valid activation key."
... the next will be when Bugatti releases an SUV.
Yup....we're definately screwed. Hell, just hearding the words "Microsoft" and "security" in the same phrase without a negation is disturbing.
M$'s track record with security is worse than Exxon Valdez's record doubled.
Plus, this adds to the $600 Hammer and $300 toilet seat issue.