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SCO Targets US Government, TiVo
An anonymous reader writes "According to SCO, if you have a TiVo set-top box, or those models of Sharp Zaurus which use Linux, someone now owes them $32, since the company wants money 'for each embedded system using Linux.' SCO also says government agencies must pay up to $699 for each copy of Linux that they use."
SCO is demanding 5$ from everyone who has talked about Linux in the past year, and 75 cents from people who have walked by Linux displays in retail stores.
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Trying to piss EVERYONE off, are we, SCO?
Putting the romance back into necromancer.
In further news, the US Government replied that, "SCO owes us $2,000 per day of liberty, retroactively to 1789. Failure to pay will result in 'legal action' from our tactical nuclear warhead supply."
Wow imagine a beowulf cluster of these claims! :(
Of those to whom much is given, much is required.
I think this is all just a way to make us run out of SCO jokes before the trial. McBride is such a clever bastard.
US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
[... snip out boring stuff...]
Sources close to the controversy report hearing SCO CEO Darl McBride screaming and then loud thumps, before noting a non-descript black van leaving the SCO compound.
Administration Spokesperson Dill Franken had this to say, "While we cannot reveal the identity of the individuals for reasons of National Security, we can safely say that we have thwarted a terrorist network in their attempts to threaten the government, and our way of life."
He then went on to check his watch and remarked, "they should be arriving at Camp X-ray, right... about... now!" He then took some questions and concluded the press conference.
Black and grey are both shades of white.
...it's stupid enough pissing on big blue's shoes, but when you start trying to bully the US government, you get called a terrorist, and we all know what happens then.
Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
Well this sucks. Has anyone hacked the Tivo yet to run Windows?
Yep, they're about as refreshing as the Iraqi Information Minister! :)
I think they've eaten too many Mentos. They're way too Fresh(tm). They may have, in fact, overdosed on Mentos. At least, that's what the coronor's report will read about 2 hours after the government actually takes notice of this.
SCO wants $13 from anyone who has a shirt or sticker with the word Linux on it.... film at 11:00..
For charges related to purchasing alcohol based screen wipes due to excessive coffee stains splattered on computer monitor.
Here's some things from their IP FAQ:
Does the SCO IP License for Linux include a media kit?
No. Nothing needs to be installed on the server or embedded device.
Excellent. I just purchased $700 of nothing. That'll be easy to justify to the boss
I have Linux servers deployed in my organization. What options do I have besides purchasing a SCO IP license?
There are 3 options for you to evaluate:
You have the option to do nothing, adopt a "wait and see" attitude, and hope that SCO is not serious about enforcing its intellectual property rights in the end user community.
You can replace all servers, desktop and embedded uses of Linux.
You can obtain a license from SCO to use SCO IP in binary form in Linux distributions
Cover your ass, install Windows, or pay up, bitch!
How are the licenses activated?
Licenses are activated by registering the license with SCO and identifying the system covered by the license. The identification of the system can follow whatever identification conventions you use internally. (i.e., by name, by location, etc.)
See your wallet becoming lighter? Good! Now you are compliant! Get on your knees!
I have a weird uncle who is always going on about how he's going to sue the government about some dumb thing from back in the deep past. Now, SCO is turning into my weird uncle. Maybe I can get my weird uncle in touch with Darl McBride, and they can hang out. I'll have to send along enough medication for both of them.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
Then, one day, one of the villagers announced that certain pieces of the pipeline were his, and had been used without his permission. Because of that, he said, the pipeline belonged to him, and anybody who wanted to get water from it had to pay him ten dollars for each bucket of water they took from the pipeline. The villagers offered to replace his stolen pipe sections with their own spare sections, and return the stolen ones to him, but the villager didn't want that -- in fact, he refused to even tell the other villagers which sections were the stolen ones. "Just pay me the money you owe me", he said, "and I'll let you use my pipeline."
The villagers gathered together again, to determine what to do about this new problem. After several minutes of debate, a plan was devised. That night, they went to the villager's house with torches and pitchforks, burned it to the ground, and fed the villager to the stray dogs.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
I own a TiVo ... and fuck SCO!
on a regular basis?
I hope you didn't catch anything, god knows who SCO has been sleeping with.
~foooo
1989? really? wow, I didn't think Papa Bush did anything good during his tenure, but I guess I was wrong.
This whole thing reminds me of elementary school. I was pretty little, but I was a smart-ass and I liked to piss people off. So I would go an taunt the big kids and they would chase me around and then all beat the snot out of me. SCO seems to have taken this (somewhat stupid) idea from me. I should sue, that idea is my intellectual property.
Need Free Juniper/NetScreen Support? JuniperForum
A couple of SCO reps knocked on my door this morning demanding I pay them. I just whipped out a Mentos and we all smiled.
"Derp de derp."
> Everybody should call SCO now and demand
Actually, we should all start mailing them Monopoly money, to pay for their equally fake IP.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Even if those pig-fuckers had an airtight case, Debian-Hurd and Debian-BSD are an easy mkfs away. Do you think for one second that the kernel you're running makes a huge difference versus the software on top of it? And I'd go back to fucking CPM much more readily than I'd consider paying SCO's extortion money.
(Yes, I said pig-fuckers. I think they get up on pigs and they fuck them. Squeeeeee! Anyone wanna disagree?)
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Is anyone else waiting for the televised press conference where the CEO or spokesperson or whoever starts banging on the podium with a shoe and screams "WE WILL BURY YOU!!!"? Is it just me?
"Understand you're having a little Jimmy Page trouble."
agreed, before when sco was trying to make their worthless company worthsomething by threatening people so they would buy them out i wasnt annoyed. but now they are fucking with tivo and that just will not stand.
i think its time for all the zombies to rise
members are seeing something, your seeing an ad
3) TO SEE PROOF of infringement
Want to see proof??
So do I. PinkFairies.org - Offering cash money for offending SCO code.
Only in business 20 hours, and we're up over $47.00!!
~Will.
sig?
Don't try to charge someone more than it'll cost to have you killed.
Sorry, I forget the exact quote or where I heard it.
i imagine each idea would start like this:
(...bong-water bubble sounds...)
(...pause...)
(...exhale...)
"Heeheehee... dude, check this one out, you are gonna freak:..."
(...stifled chortling...)
pr0n - keeping monitor glass spotless since 1981.
If you're running MAME, you owe me $32. Pay up! MAME includes some code I wrote, in violation of the GPL license on my code. Unlike SCO, I'm actually willing to publicly identify which lines of code are at issue.
I'm joking about the $32, although they really did violate my license. However, I'm NOT going to sue them. In fact, I think I'll grant the MAME project a license to use the code under the MAME license instead.
So much for my chances of making billions of dollars on it! :-)
SCO announced that they would be attempting to shut down all network servers allowing users to download Linux patches and updates free of charge. They also mentioned that they would be offering a subscription service where users could download updates for $1 per file, and that they would also be resorting to legal action in order to make university network administrators disclose the names of students running illegal Linux systems on campus.
You just admitted to Slahsdot, a crowd of largely single male geeks that:
;)
1) You are female.
2) You are a geek.
3) Your boyfriend is NOT a geek.
Better hope your home address isn't easy to find you'll find him dangling from the roof tied up in Cat-5 cable and a line of geeks wating to woo you.
(Yes, it's the ASCII version and not the normal nastiness...link courtesy of Wikipedia.)
20 January 2017: the End of an Error.
The post-comment page says
"You will be hearing from us soon"
hahahaha, the joke's on them!
good luck finding scoblows@goatse.cx... poor schmuck
I said that I did not feel that $699 was fair with respect to the level of infringement that they allege in the kernel given that they have not yet proven their claims and that I don't even use an SMP kernel. I decided to negotiate, and I offered them "the finger".
In the event that they can show that their SMP code is indeed in the Linux kernel, I offered to remove said code -- since I don't use it anyway -- and I offered "the finger" again, since I have two hands.
STOP MISUSING APOSTROPHES, YOU MORONS!!!
I think they hold the license to /usr/bin/finger!
I'm sorry, I can't divulge the location of the $32 at this time. I am willing to provide a set of scavenger hunt clues to selected, disinterested parties who are willing to sign an NDA, though...
pr0n - keeping monitor glass spotless since 1981.
Now all SCO needs to do, to really annoy and irritate everybody, is find some beer and pretzel companies who use Linux, and demand license fees.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
But their actual phone number is 1-800-726-8649, which equates to 1-800-RAM-UNIX (and 1-800-SCO-UNIX but we'll ignore that)
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
email:
abuse@microsoft.com (fitting, I thought)
message:
With regards to the recent issues with infringing code in the linux kernel:
There's an object of mine in your house. I'm not telling you what it is, or where it is, but it's there, I promise.
I'm not going to identify the object, but I am going to request that you pay me $700 for the continued use of your house.
You may, if you wish, sign an NDA to find out the identification of the object, but under the terms of the agreement, you'll never be allowed inside another house again for the rest of your life.
Alternately, you can agree to waive the licensing fees for the Linux kernel and we can call it even, ok?
"Proudly Posting Without Reading The Article"
I just cut and pasted the linux kernel sources into their feedback form. I was going to give them back just the infringing parts but since I couldn't find them I figured the whole source tree would be best.
I wonder how big their feedback database can grow.
I'd say it's more ironic than funny:
After the lawsuit ...
IBM to SCO: Do you feel lucky today? Well do ya?!?
Dammit, someone should tell the MPAA that their James Bond copyright is being 0wned by SCO.
Jack Valenti: "Yes, you can license Mr. Bond's likeness for your crappy convention, for the sum of $699 per attendee. More per attendee if any attendee has two heads, three arms, or other 'enterprise' features."
Darl: "Urk...."
You're doing it wrong.
...because I said I'd pay their extortion demand the day Hell froze over, or a goatse.cx link was modded +5, whichever came first!