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SoBig: Worst is Yet to Come

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the get-your-worm-on dept.

bl8n8r writes "Experts say when vacationers get back to work Monday, Inboxes will unleash the worms worst attacks. Sunner said that most of the problems caused by SoBig involve the time and cost of cleaning the worm from computer systems. "

45 of 683 comments (clear)

  1. Finally. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    They named a virus after my penis.

    1. Re:Finally. by coffee_admin · · Score: 4, Funny

      Did your mom help you think of that comment?

      --
      Prozac makes the voices in my head say nice things to me.
    2. Re:Finally. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
      They named a virus after my penis.

      No, child, it's a worm. That's why they named it after your penis.

    3. Re:Finally. by smatt-man · · Score: 2, Funny

      Must be an inch worm?

      --

      ---
      Lousy rotten karmic retribution.
    4. Re:Finally. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      No.. Taco named his penis.

      For some reason he named it 'Matilda.'

  2. Cost Benefit Analysis by Transient0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If the majority of the cost comes from cleaning the system, I would recommend (in my professional opinion) simply letting the systems remain infected.

    --
    lysergically yours
    1. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by jmv · · Score: 5, Funny

      Great idea! Do you have a degree at the Enron Institute of Business? :)

      --
      Opus: the Swiss army knife of audio codec
    2. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by borgdows · · Score: 3, Funny

      no, he has a degree at the SCO Institute of Business!

      why bother with computer viruses when the only thing you need is a big mouth and lawyers?

    3. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by Tumbleweed · · Score: 2, Funny

      Do you work for the government, by any chance? :)

    4. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by BWJones · · Score: 4, Funny

      If the majority of the cost comes from cleaning the system, I would recommend (in my professional opinion) simply letting the systems remain infected.

      That's my plan. Just pull the plug on the Wintel stuff, toss em in the trash and replace them with Macs running OS X. :-)

      --
      Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
    5. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by jpsst34 · · Score: 2, Funny

      "...when the only thing you need is a big mouth and lawyers?"

      You need a big mouth to fit around it, 'cuz it's SoBig.F!

      --
      How are you going to keep them down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus?
    6. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by whoever57 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I have known many people that actually know they have a virus on their computer and don't make it the first priority in using their systems... if it is usable by them, they don't care.

      Could it be that they are planning to use the "virus downloaded the pr0n/mp3/..." defense should they ever be challenged about exactly what is on their computer?

      --
      The real "Libtards" are the Libertarians!
    7. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by Otter · · Score: 3, Funny

      Naw, he's thinking too small. A few years ago, dot-coms would have come up with a way to book viruses as some form of asset -- maybe as a proprietary database of Internet users? -- and used it as the foundation of a succesful IPO.

      --
      What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
    8. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by Rob+Simpson · · Score: 3, Funny

      Shouldn't that be "So F. Big"?

    9. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by EverDense · · Score: 5, Funny

      Try this one:

      "Some these viruses have been known to attmempt to destroy the computers of various military installations. The penalty in many countries for this is death. The penalty in YOUR country is a federal jail term. You may want to consider purchasing a $60 upgrade to your computer to help you avoid this problem in the future."

      Thank God!

      They've FINALLY started jailing people for being too stupid to own computers! ;-)

      --
      http://jesus.everdense.com/
    10. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by paranoic · · Score: 4, Funny
      This is slashdot, shouldn't

      You may want to consider purchasing a $60 upgrade to your computer to help you avoid this problem in the future.


      read

      You may want to consider installing Linux on your computer to help you avoid this problem in the future.


    11. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by GoRK · · Score: 4, Funny

      If I get someone who doesnt care, I just tell them the virus e-mails, at random, their web history and any files/photos/etc. it can find on the hard drive to any address it can find in the e-mail application.

      This works suprisingly well. Even though it's a lie, they are spooked about it. If they pester me, I'll tell them the truth but add that viruses in the past have done this and probably will do it again.

    12. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by Natty+P · · Score: 5, Funny

      This should be Microsoft's next big marketing campaign!

      I'm sure it'll be more successful than .NET or that stupid WinXP commercial with the Madonna song and people flying around....

      "Where do you want to go today?!?! Federal prison?!?! If not, upgrade now!"

    13. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by mekkab · · Score: 4, Funny

      ... that's eight grand worth of new Macs ...

      Yeah, and just think what both of those machines could do!

      --
      In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
    14. Re:Cost Benefit Analysis by andrewski · · Score: 2, Funny

      I had a guy open an email that was infected with another virus on TEN different computers in a half-hour because he thought it was really important and it wouldn't open on any of them.

      In this case a normal LART is not enough. Whichever LART you choose should be painful, debilitating, and memorable. A .357 magnum to the pelvis is a good one, or an arm in the chipper / shredder (preferably their mouse arm) would demonstarte the point nicely. Some may prefer to apply LSD and then strap the Luser down and force him or her to watch the live action Popeye starring Robin Williams 10 times in a row, along with a forehead tattoo that reads 'criminally incompetent'.

  3. Worms worms and more worms by Lane.exe · · Score: 5, Funny
    Is 2003 the year of the Worm on the Chinese calendar? I'm confused!

    --
    IAALS.
  4. Is not a problem... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's an open source business model!

    1: Write free software.
    2: ?
    3: Get inbox filled with worms and viruses.
    4: Profit!

  5. lesson by shakeittotheright · · Score: 2, Funny

    isn't the lesson here that people shouldn't go on vacation?

    --

    Arnie for Governor, Actors Speak Louder Than Words

    1. Re:lesson by Farley+Mullet · · Score: 4, Funny
      isn't the lesson here that people shouldn't go on vacation?
      nope. it's that people shouldn't come back from vacation.
  6. SoNice.ToSee.YouBack by blcamp · · Score: 5, Funny


    Don't complain.

    With SoMany.IT.Workers unemployed, SoBig.And.ItsVariants have a strangely positive side effect... ...job security.

    --
    The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
  7. I, for one, welcome our new worm overlords. by DrSkwid · · Score: 1, Funny

    ok, my turn

    --
    There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
  8. Slashdot Headline Concat Fun by JonTurner · · Score: 5, Funny

    String the last two 'default' headlines together and whaddaya get?

    "New Longhorn Screenshots Leaked. Sobig. Worst Is Yet To Come."

    Yep. That just about says it all!

  9. Re:No Kidding.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    hey, Slashbot moderators...

    Why wasn't this post modded insightful or informative. We have to let the world know how great it is to have Mozilla and not use Eudora or Outlook!

    Get to work.

  10. Re:school's in! by Jacer · · Score: 5, Funny

    This isn't funny, I work on campus tech support. It's move in week, and the 30 of us on staff are working 60+ hours this week. 8,000 or so computers are coming back, of those, we expect about 5,600 to be unpatched, and we expect that of those 5,600, that only 1,400 or so will be able to follow our documentation. That leaves us with 4,200 machines to patch, and clean before Monday (and here I sit on Slashdot)

    --
    --fetch daddy's blue fright wig, i must be handsome when i release my rage
  11. Damn It! by tds67 · · Score: 2, Funny
    The only small silver lining for those who have been hit by the spam attack it anecdotal evidence suggests that other forms of spam aren't getting through, said Pescatore.

    So the "SoBig" worm is going to keep me from getting my penis enlarger product? Ironic that it would be called "SoBig"...

  12. Where I work... by Znonymous+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    We haven't seen the virus. But then again, we're admins who know what we're doing...

    That's right, we run $CO UnixWare. And since there are only 2 or 3 other copies of $CO UnixWare being used in the world, we don't have to worry about worms and viruses.

    --

    Karma: The shiznight, mostly because I am the Drizzle.

    1. Re:Where I work... by slyckshoes · · Score: 2, Funny

      quote: "we don't have to worry about worms and viruses"

      Then what do you call Darl McBride and the former Iraqi Information Minister who is now employed as SCO's Public Relations Minister?

  13. get a clue? by packethead · · Score: 2, Funny

    ln -s /bin/clue /dev/null

    --
    .sig
  14. Re:RPC Patch by cK-Gunslinger · · Score: 5, Funny

    Also keep in mind that refilling the washer fluid in your car will not prevent you from getting a flat tire.

    Just this morning I changed a flat tire on a car that had a full tank of washer fluid and discovered this.

  15. Re:Procmail finally by gid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ya, and as a plus, it'll also block all those annoying clients, sending you word docs and spread sheets, wanting you to do work.

  16. Re:RPC Patch by lone_marauder · · Score: 2, Funny

    Applying the patch will also not prevent you from spewing Dr. Pepper all over your laptop keyboard. I have just discovered this.

    --
    who are those slashdot people? they swept over like Mongol-Tartars.
  17. Re:Skeptical by danaedwards · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's why August is often referred to as "lazy Swede month".

  18. How did you get SoBig? by og_sh0x · · Score: 5, Funny

    I had a user that called me because he actually got a copy of SoBig in his inbox. Usually our mail scanners are really good at filtering out even the newest viruses. What I didn't realize is that our AutoUpdate had failed that day, so it didn't have the SoBig update. So I asked him, "Well how the heck did you get SoBig?" and he answered, "From eating so many sandwiches."

  19. A great new slogan by McAddress · · Score: 4, Funny

    Linux during a virus epidemic, it's like being out of the country during the blackout.

  20. Wow by xactoguy · · Score: 2, Funny

    1 million dollars per employee? Where are you working at, 'cause I sure wanna get in on this cash cow ;)

    --


    And so we go, on with our lives
    We know the truth, but prefer lies
    Lies are simple, simple is bliss
  21. Re:math by Rasta+Prefect · · Score: 2, Funny

    If they've got 100 employees and they're producing 14,000 messages a day, they're a pretty ineffective spamhaus. :)

    --
    Why?
  22. definition by chloroquine · · Score: 2, Funny

    Um, what is this thing you call "vacation"? I keep hearing people talk about going on "vacation" but I've yet to experience this phenomenon.

  23. Re:Anti-virus Programmers Crack IP Encryption by Nexzus · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hmm. That's interesting.

    In essence, this virus is someone's copyright.

    If an American company had to decrypt the worm to get these addresses, they would probably be violating the DMCA.

    --
    Karma: Can only be portioned out by the Cosmos.
  24. Re:Anti-virus Programmers Crack IP Encryption by SheldonYoung · · Score: 3, Funny

    By chance did this "crack" of encrypted IP addresses happen to involve tcpdump and setting to clock ahead? Just asking.

  25. Re:Speaking of getting a clue by SoSueMe · · Score: 2, Funny

    Recently experienced a corporate "upgrade" to Exchange.
    By default, every folder had "Preview Pane" enabled (1st bad sign).
    All new folders have "Preview Pane" enabled by default (2nd bad sign).
    No global control for "Preview Pane" to be disabled (3rd bad sign).
    Coworker has 60 virus-laden e-mails this morning.
    Friday shutdown because of Blaster.

    The switch is going to save us how much????