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RIAA Offers Amnesty to File Sharers
Mister Dre writes "Apparently, the RIAA is planning to offer amnesty to file sharers who promise to delete copyrighted material from their computers. To take advantage, of course, you 'have to send a completed, notarized amnesty form to the RIAA, with a copy of a photo ID.'" Hey RIAA, how about I just stop sharing files, and we call it even? I know I own most of the CDs for the files I listen to, but I stopped buying those too so you'll know where I stand.
first, they drop the price of CDs. now they're offering amnesty.
somebody call satan to see if hell froze over.
Mike
For your viewing pleasure: A copy of a subpoena from the RIAA.
Tcd004
So, in order to buy amnesty from the RIAA, I have to sell them my identity? Sounds fair...
I won't even get off my ass, go store and buy a CD so what makes them think that I will get something notarized?
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
To NYCGirl
We'll forgive you for your evil-doings. Just send us Photo ID, address details, mother's maiden name, breast size and we'll let you go free. We promise.
Love,
Your Friends, The RIAA.
XOXOX
Does this cover all the naked pictures of Hilary Rosen on my hard drive too?
this is crazy - they should send us an amnesty form for the YEARS of overpriced CDs, heavily marketed lolliPOP junk, and their refusal to embrace technology in the fear of losing their oligopoly.
smd4985
F***. You.
That is all.
Dear Filesharer,
We know we can't possibly track all you bastards down in order to put you (or your parents) into financial ruin just like you have done to our starving "artists". So instead, just give us your photo, name, and address and admit you are pirating music and we promise nothing will happen. Really.
-The RIAA
-R
or is it copyrighted too?
I hereby offer amnesty to whoever it is that stole my car stereo two months ago.
All you have to do is come (unarmed) with me to the nearest police station and sign a full confession. I will then proceed to "forgive" you. You won't even have to return my stereo (wich you probably sold inmediatly to support your crack habit).
No sig
Send in your notarized form with photo ID IQ: 50
Send in your notarized form w/o photo ID IQ: 60
Send in the form with only your first name IQ: 70
Use the form to line the kitty box IQ: 80
Ignore the whole thing IQ: 100
Send in the notarized form with a local politician's name IQ: 130
Actually, three lefts make a right. Or, if you wish, the equation can be represented as 2w=xr, where x is equal to the number of wrongs necessary to equal a right. In this instance, x equals 1f, where f=finger. Which is what my response would be to such a request.
Catching you guys is HARD. Please just turn yourselves in...pretty please?
I'll form my OWN solar system! With blackjack! And hookers!
the state troopers offer amnesty to you for all the speeding you've done up until now that they didn't catch you doing. But if you speed from now on, they might ticket you.
"And this is my boy, Sherman. Speak, Sherman." "Hello." "Good boy."
Homer: Up and away in my beautiful my beautiful motor boat! Da da da da!
Bart: But we didn't enter any police raffle.
Homer: That doesn't matter, the important thing is we won.
[parks]
Marge: I don't know, there's something very peculiar about
this!
Homer: Sheesh! You're the most paranoid family I've ever been
affiliated with. [gets out]
Later on, after Homer enters the Police Station, to Wiggum: I'd like a yellow boat please, with extra motors.
I've got so many people that I know personally that hate the RIAA. We're going to have a field day sending them all kinds of joke photo ID's.
Hey, keeps us off the streets.
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
Shhh. Be quiet, or you'll spoil the surprise! Why ruin the RIAA's best joke on the American people yet!
and this one just BEGS for a copy of a license with goatse.cx in the photo square...
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The RIAA today announced sudden gains in profit due to an undisclosed source of income. This comes on the heals of collecting names and photo id's of file traders during an amnesty period.
In completely unrelated news, identity theft claims in the US jumped sharply. Officials are baffled as to the sudden influx.
It's not stupid. It's advanced.
Chief Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.
It's not stupid. It's advanced.
Does this cover all the naked pictures of Hilary Rosen on my hard drive too?
You have been punished enough already.
Here's my picture. My name is John Smith, and I live on Main St. in Smallville, USA.
Let them compete, price wise, in a fair and open market for such things.
The RIAA can always offer a similar licence for freedom from prosecution for using Linux.
Just imagine the marketting possibilities - A whole range of licences that promise to protect you from such things as
You could flog off each licence for $699, or sign people up for the Mega-Bundle for $3000 - a saving of nearly $500 !!
... which dumb ass is going to take the blame for Kazaa@kazaalite.com & get the rest of us of the hook?
Jaysyn
There is a war going on for your mind.
Karma be damned, this has to be said.
I am going to get the nicest, glossiest printer paper I can find and print the goatse picture on it. Those of you familiar with it already know why, those of you who don't should consider yourselves very lucky. Underneath it, I will print add the words...
"Want your copyrighted material back? Reach on up there and get it!"
---
DRM is like antifreeze, to the MPAA/RIAA it's sweet, to the consumers it's poison.