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PHBs Getting "Secret" IT Training

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the get-your-funny-on dept.

An anonymous reader writes "As if all of us aren't already already aware of this, PHBs don't know jack squat about computer technology, and they won't seek any training from their own IT staff because that would be an admission of "weakness" so instead they are getting outsiders to train them in secret." Lucrative work for the secret tutors I s'pose. I guess getting tutored in secret is better than just floundering in ignorance.

15 of 516 comments (clear)

  1. That's nothing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I know of a systems admin doing the same! - posted anonymously to protect the guilty.

  2. As if by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Floundering in ignorance isn't something that happens at /. every day.

  3. This is prime PHB material, but... by stefanb · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Really? I'm not the only one who doesn't know what the two mouse buttons are for?"
    There is a reason Apple's sticking to mice with one button. And this is not ment in any condescending way.

    1. Re:This is prime PHB material, but... by stonecypher · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ugh, seems I've hit a button here :-)

      You certainly have. I find nothing more frustrating than MS' seeming inability to get their shit together and write a tutorial that doesn't assume that the user is experienced or stupid. It seems MS doesn't see them as seperable concerns.

      "This is a mouse. If you can't hook your printer up, you've obviously missed the last 20 years of pop culture. Even Scotty from Star Trek figured this out when it was 400 years obsolete, so you must be a putz. First, put your hand down. No, the one on your arm. Good: you may have a grape."

      etc.

      --
      StoneCypher is Full of BS
  4. Obligatory Dilbert quote.. by TheFairElf · · Score: 3, Funny

    Dilbert: "You have to hold the notebook upside down and shake it to reboot, remember?"
    PHB: "Oh right, thanks"

    1. Re:Obligatory Dilbert quote.. by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Funny
      "Dilbert: "You have to hold the notebook upside down and shake it to reboot, remember?"
      PHB: "Oh right, thanks"

      And the obligatory FedEx follup:


      Woman: Hi, Tom, I know its your first day, but we could really use your help.

      Tom: (with slightly smug smile, pulling on suit jacket) You got it.

      Woman: (walking) We're just in a bit of a jam.

      Tom: (squirts breath spray)

      Woman: (continues, gesturing to roomful of FedEx boxes) All this has to get out today...

      Tom: (look of astonishment, smug smile returning) Yeah...uh...I dont do shipping...

      Woman: Oh, no no no, its very easy. We use FedEx.com (sitting him down at a computer open to the FedEx.com website). Anybody can do it.

      Tom: (smug smile wider, he cant believe shes asking him to do this) Uh... no... you dont understand: I have an MBA.

      Woman: Oh, you have an MBA...

      Tom: Yeah.

      Woman: In that case Ill have to show you how to do it.



      --
      "Derp de derp."
  5. I am SO pleased to know that ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 3, Funny
    the top executives who control the direction of our corporate overlords are acquiring the same level of knowledge of a high school dropout intern whose main responsibility is sorting the mail (but can't really be trusted to deliver it).

    I feel safer now.

    1. Re:I am SO pleased to know that ... by IM6100 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Actually, what would be scary is if introverted computer nerds were handing the most important stuff in the corporate world.

      Remember, we already tried the dot.bomb adventure.

      Now, go change the toner cartridge on the laserjet on second floor like a good, geek, kay?

      --
      A Good Intro to NetBS
  6. Trained PHB's != Good by greygent · · Score: 4, Funny

    I guess getting tutored in secret is better than just floundering in ignorance.

    I take it you haven't had the "pleasure" of your PHB embarrassing you by yelling "I know it's your T1 because our network guy teleported into the Baywatch hub and checked it!" at a Qwest network admin during a heated conference call.

    For the PHB's here: It's 'telnet' and 'Bay Networks'.

  7. I'll take two! by winstarman · · Score: 2, Funny

    What does it mean when your supervisor openly admits he has no clue what you do for 40 hours a week? I figure it's good job security for me... i think.

    In secret though? craziness! My employer is too cheap to give me any training, so I doubt anyone else is either.

    Best training I've ever done? An O'Reilly book... ANY O'Reilly book.

    cheers-

    --
    Hard loop..... huh?

    Dynamic Designs
  8. BOFH by wowbagger · · Score: 3, Funny

    Am I the only one who sees Simon's fine hand in this matter?

    BOFH fodder, indeed....

    --
    www.eFax.com are spammers
  9. Mission Breifing by DumbWhiteGuy777 · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Okay boys, listen up. This is our new secret weapon. It's called Windows 2004. Anyone gives you lip, just install it on their computer, and watch the sparks fly"

  10. Re:The main probelm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I guess that sort of equipment comes in handy when you're that far up your boss's ass.

  11. Mod him up, if you have any decency. by titzandkunt · · Score: 2, Funny


    A tech support dude who can't type "acronym phb" into Google...

    O that I lived to see such evil days!

    T&K.

    --
    Political language ... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable...
  12. Re:Apple mice by ceejayoz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Of course they could give two buttons and just default to having them do the same thing via software

    <PHB> Which one do I press?
    <SecretTutor> It doesn't matter.
    <PHB> What do you mean it doesn't matter?! There are two buttons! Why are there two buttons if it doesn't matter?!
    * PHB throws mouse out the window
    *** SecretTutor was kicked by PHB (fired)