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SCO to Take On Hollywood
An anonymous reader writes "Daniel Lyons, the man you may remember for calling the FSF 'Linux's Hit Men' is now reporting that SCO is 'Holding Up Hollywood.'
Their reasoning? It's because 'They're using a ton of Linux in Hollywood, so they've become a lightning rod for us,' says Darl McBride, SCO's chief executive.
As usual, Groklaw provides insightful commentary concerning rehash SCO has planted to remain in the news, saying 'Maybe they should fulfill prior threats before they throw out new ones? Otherwise, it could lead some of us to doubt their sincerity.'" At least it's smarter than trying to sell a license to every home user of Linux.
In a shocking move today, DreamWorks Studios announced the next Bruce Willis feature would include the company SCO as the primary antagonist. "Yes, Bruce Willis' character will have to blow up SCO. It should be quite the scene." said director Mark van Flemburg of the as yet unnamed movie.
Now that will be interesting. The MPAA in one corner, SCO in the other, and no-one wants to bet on either of them.
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Taking on a group with deeper pockets and more political clout than IBM? That has to be the biggest brain fart in history.
McBride needs to remove his golf shoes before he steps on his dick again.
Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
*Wipes away a tear*
The Internet is just so wonderful...
clifgriffin > blog
If nothing else, SCO could sue Lucasfilm for using Linux in a very inappropriate way....digitally creating Jar Jar Binks
That has to be worth some amount of punitive damages...
No trees were harmed in the composition of this; however, numerous electrons were inconvenienced.
This weekend only! Live in Hollywood!
In this corner, the reigning heavyweight champion, with millions of dollars in court awards over the years: The heavyweight champion, the MPAA!
In this corner, the challenger, featherweight SCO. With no significant assets, no business plan, and no hope in hell, SCO.
Personally, I don't really care who wins. I'm just hoping it goes the distance and we see a lot of blood...
"I'd be surprised if we make it to the end of the year without filing a lawsuit."
Yeah, I'd be surprised, too.
The revolution will be televised. Blackout restrictions apply.
In this hilarious update of the much-loved Hollywood classic, Steve Martin turns in a winning performance as Darl McBride, the befuddled CEO of SCO who has a hard time maintaining his grip on reality when Hollywood effects shops unexpectedly chooses to use Linux. Tickling funnybones and touching hearts of critics and audiences alike, this entertaining treat chronicles Darl's hysterical trials and tribulations leading up to his downfall. Funnyman Martin Short lights up the screen as the off-the-wall Linus Torvalds. Father of McBride promises to love, honor, and deliver the kind of motion picture fun you'll thoroughly enjoy.
It's IBM! and whats that in it's hands? It's a chain saw! They're taking them both out in one fowl swoop. What a grisley display.
The Crack Smokers Association of America sues SCO for bringing their name into disrepute.
It's difficult to find the local street value of crack in Utah. But I wonder - just how many kilos can $50M buy? Also, I assume SCO's huge demand has driven prices up. Perhaps that's part of the pump-n-dump also - does Darl own stock in any other organized crime rings?
Litigious bastards
Its all too tempting to make a joke about "blowing steam" but ill spare you all.
I want 2D games back.
Sure. Yes, the thing is, Darl McBride got his hands on a cocaine deal he just couldn't say no to (no, he couldn't - they would have shot the son of a bitch). Buy two tons of the finest Colombian cola, and cover the Utah market. Great business plan:
Now, the problem was, he'd fired all the sales people, marketing people, and all the engineers to save money. Only executives left (and I, Rusty, the janitor). So no people competent to sell the stuff work at SCO at the moment. The next business plan was just swapping the 2) for ???, which along the way turned into the current mess: snorting buckets of the stuff, suing IBM, making crack cocaine, smoking crack, getting interviewed, rebutting Mr. Torvalds' claim that they're on crack and so forth. They're currently working on converting the latest question mark into
and so on. The rest will arrive in your mail box soon. Then they're going on to step 3).
This is like getting previews and teasers to one of the most anticipated movies of all time. I just want to be able to see what the outcome of this case is. I want to see SCO's ass kicked in court.
This has to be a unique moment for me personally. I normally don't give a rat's ass who wins a litigation in the USA - it seems to happen to damn often - but SCO are really asking for it. They're like the dumb little kid in the playground who's taunting the big fat kid, and you just want the big fat kid to pound him so bad...
Gentlemen, start your penguins
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Keep that FUD train movin'
Damn my ass is swollen
Rawhide!
I will not pay you in Japan,
I will not pay you in Thailand.
I will not pay in Spain or France,
I will not pay you, not one chance!
I will not pay you, S-C-O,
I need not pay you, no, no, no!
Will I retire or break 10K?
Ah, so Darl thinks he's Zeus now? The thing to remember is that after the storm and noise are done, it's the lightning rod that remains. And he should be careful with electricity when he and his claims is so obviously groundless.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
It's interesting--most people don't realize that lightning rods are put in place in order to decrease the chance of lightning hitting there. The pointed tip 'leaks' out the electric charge of the earth, decreasing the voltage and the resulting chance of arcing.
So does that mean that the fact that Hollywood uses lots of Linux mean that they have a lower chance of being sued?
Help find a cure for cancer. Join the [H]orde
"Yes, Bruce Willis' character will have to blow up SCO. It should be quite the scene."
Especially considering that Hollywood[tm] will be buying out SCO so that in the filming they will actually be blowing up the real SCO offices, and if law enforcment agrees, it will still contain SCO executives when it is blown up.
A Hollywood[tm] producer was quoted as saying: "Some might say that it is too expensive to blow up the real SCO offices for a special effect, but we think we will make it up at the box office."
The rumor that Linus Torvalds will be making a cameo has not been confirmed.
This signature used to contain a cute kitty virus with ansii art. Please set the slashdot editors on fire. Thank you
Damn. Hit that submit button by mistake. Lets try again:
We will not pay you Darl McBride,
Your claims are non-specific and wide,
You can't revoke our AIX,
You'll learn in jail, through anal sex,
We will not pay your license fees,
Now get down on your fucking knees,
And suck my cock, you trolling whore,
We *will* not pay you any more,
Linux is free and free will stay,
And not a dime will people pay,
To run an OS that isn't yours,
Now bend over the bed, and drop your drawers,
We're going to pay you what you're due,
An ass like Goatsecx man for YOU!