Slashdot Mirror
If Microsoft Built Cars...
trystanu writes "If Microsoft Built Cars, occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason; you'd
accept this, restart and drive on -- at least that was the joke a few years ago. ZDNET reports that Microsoft has persuaded a number of carmakers to use its slimmed-down Windows CE operating system to power a variety of in-car electronics, from navigation systems to music players to information devices. BMW, in particular, has gravitated to Microsoft systems, although the company has announced wins with Honda, Volvo and others as well. Perhaps the recent trapping of Thai dignitaries inside a BMW should be a warning to us all."
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
If Microsoft Built Cars..
An interesting proposition..
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
If Microsoft Built Cars...
Whoa.. stick with QNX, please.
Trolling is a art,
Ouch.
"'I pass the test,' she said. 'I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.'"
- JRR Tolkien.
Black Pavement of Death
So long as they don't use Windows for the car security system, I mean imagine... "Insert any key to begin"
Competing with Microsoft woulbe so hard that other companies would start offering open-engine cars for free!
Will code a sig generator for food
I love it when /. posts jokes.. you are joking right?.. right?.... hello?
moo
Security updates for you car will be availible on the internet. Failure to update voids all warrenties.
...you would see the same car over and over again.
Before the airbag deploys, it asks you "Are you sure?"
Microsoft Technology Hits the Road in BMW 7 Series:
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no rakes. What were they to do?
"I know", said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement, Change Management, Re-Engineering and Service Integration, find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."
"No, no", said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip
down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."
"Well", said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
Blue Screen of Your Face Going Through The Windshield.
Stop: 0X0000000A (0X00000000, 0X00000002, 0X00000001, 0X80448BF6)
IRQL_NOT_LESS OR EQUAL
Adress 80448BF6 base at 80400000, DateStamp
3d366b8b - brake.exe
Beginning dump of physical facial bones
It wasn't the car's fault, it was bad drivers.
-- Fighting mediocrity one bad post at a time.
Hey, see that link in the article? That's right, the very first one?
Click it, and it leads to...
..wait for it...
That's right! The same old joke you just reposted! Tell him what he's won, Rod!
He's one a 5-day, 4-night stay in beautiful RTFALand! We'll fly him and a guest non stop to a room where he can sit and actually read the articles before posting ancient jokes we've all seen before that are referenced by the article itself!
All's true that is mistrusted
Three Microsoft employees and three Apple employees are boarding a train to attend a conference. The three MS people walk up and buy their tickets. Then, only one of the Apple employees buys a ticket.
The MS guys say, "Whoa! Wait a minute, how are you all going to ride with only one ticket."
"You'll see," they replied.
Everyone boards the train and the MS employees take their seats while all three Apple employees cram into the bathroom. A while later the ticket taker comes down the isles and takes the tickets from the MS employees. He passes the bathroom, notes that it says "Occupied" and softly knocks on the door. "Ticket please," he says. Slowly, the door cracks open, one hand reaches out and hands him a ticket. A few minutes later, the Apple employees emerge from the bathroom and take seats, much to the amazement of the MS employees.
After the conference, on the way back home, the same employees are reboarding the train. The MS people, having deftly learned a new trick, buy just one ticket. The Apple employees then say, we aren't going to buy a ticket this time. MS peoples' jaws drop, but everyone gets on the train.
The MS people quickly cram into the bathroom, and the Apple employees go into a different bathroom. After a couple of minutes, one of the Apple employees comes out of the bathroom, walks up to the door of the bathroom that the MS employees are hiding in, knocks on it, and says:
"Ticket please"
-- Fighting mediocrity one bad post at a time.
Buffer overruns and a few lines of vb script and you've got a couple million cars emailing each other until they just freeze up. Cool.
Clutch-Brake-Accelerator?
What happens if you have an automatic???
MANUAL OVERRIDE
Isn't it ironic... most cars now have latches to let kids and gangsters out of trunks, yet now you can't get out of the car when its OS freezes? Good grief!
How many times has the Enterprise been saved (or blown up to kill bad guys) through the use of manual overrides? I should be able to get out of my car, even if the battery is drained and the computer is drained. If it's good enough for Jean Luc, it's good enough for me!
Do you have more info on this bump?
:)
I'll be in the area in a few weeks
hmm... for fun I enjoy launching DDoS attacks against 127.87.42.5
Imaging driving down the motorway, at 70pmh, and then the onboard windows systems crash. Whats the betting you will ;-)
What is the difference between final control in Japanese and Yugoslav car factory?
In Japan they put a cat in the car and seal the doors. Tomorrow if the cat is still alive that means that sealing is not good because air managed to get in.
In Yugoslavia we also put a cat in the car but tomorrow we check is the cat still in the car or she managed to escape.
--
No cats were harm during posting this message.
... You would have no steering wheel, but instead about 17 different levers...
... Your car would cost close to nothing, but you'd have to assemble it yourself...
... It would come with several different chassis, so you could decided which one you wanted most...
... Every time you change the oil, you have to rebuild the engine...
... Everyone will swear they drive one...
... Never crashes, but drives at a constant 12mph...
... It would be easy to lock yourself out...
... You wouldn't be able to lend it to your friends unless they agreed to lend it to THEIR friends...
... You wouldn't be able to make aftermarket parts for it unless you give parts makers the schematics for the ENTIRE car...
i'm amazed that i survived - an airbag saved my life.
Yes, with Auto-DRM, the car industry will be able to regain lost profits from those horrible people sharing cars!
Only YOU will be able to drive your car, and if your friends or family want to drive it, they will have to purchase a seperate licence from the manufacturer!
Does it make you happy you're so strange?
It'd take forever for a (com)pile up to happen...
Many Thanks,
Luke
Time to start requesting written confirmations there is no M$ product in a car when buying a new one next time.
open (SIG, "</dev/zero"); $sig = <SIG>; close SIG;
I can just imagine the look on the dealer's face.
Never at a loss for words... because of the voices.
http://www.cisco.com/warp/public/csc/refurb_equipm ent/swlicense.html
...once the new, "pop-up billboards" become common.
help me i've cloned myself and can't remember which one I am
All you do is get into the car, close the door and Windows Car will automatically configure the car to suit the driver. It will adjust the seats, climate control, and select a radio station. Our driver is... (BSOD on dash) ... Uh Oh
uuhh...moving right along...
Bill Gates: So this must be why we're not shipping Windows Car yet.
Absolutely!
$cat
With wifi catching on, and with MS software being central in a car's brain, the possibilties are endless.
People will have their cars recalled 3-4 times a year to apply the latest patch.
You might have viruses that spread from car to car.
There'll be the IloveYou kind of virus, or blaster kind of virus, that will shut down traffic and cause millions of accidents within hours of release to the wild.
There's the jerusalem style of virus that will crash all cars on the planet at a predetermined time.
There'll be backdoors and IRC robots, where the script kiddies in stead of trying to shut down a web site in a DDDOS attack, will instead take control over cars, and use real people as objects in a videogame.
Or more innocent viruses that hijacks a car's stereo, and starts blasting Wang Chung at full volume.
Scary. The scariest part is that this is not crazy science fiction. By all signs, I don't see that any of this is avoidable, given MS current dominance, their awful track record on security, and the extremely weak consumer protection laws.
-- Another senseless waste of fine bytes.
Let them end!
That would KICK ASS. But with the way we insist on individual transportation in Canada everybody would have to have their own sled+team and we would end up with dogs outnumbering people 10 to 1.
Pets.com was ahead of its time.
Serve Gonk.