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Security Tips for Traveling with Tech Gear

securitas writes "Many Slashdotters will be traveling during the next week and PC World has an article about how to travel with tech gear with a minimum of security hassles. The Transport Security Administration maintains an allowable and banned items list (PDF) that you might want to check. Make sure that you have fully charged batteries for any tech gifts you received. I've had big hassles with all the tech gear that I routinely carry, especially when combining business trips with a vacation. One security screener even asked me to log in, decrypt and look at files on my notebook's desktop, which was unnecessarily invasive (not to mention against my then-employer's security policy). He settled for viewing the secure login screen 'to make sure it worked.' Any other horror stories out there?"

41 of 527 comments (clear)

  1. We are Borg by moehoward · · Score: 4, Funny

    We carry around all this crap (yes, me included) and require it for our jobs and personal lives. We can't live without it. Right? Laptop, cell phone, Wi-Fi gear, PDA, and related equipment. Are we not borg already?

    Discuss...

    --
    "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus
    1. Re:We are Borg by PacoTaco · · Score: 3, Funny
      Are we not borg already?

      Let's shoot a few of you and see if you adapt.

  2. Without the iPod??????? by kantai · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Try living without the IPod for a few days"

    What in the name of Linus Torvalds is this guy thinking? Living without my precious? I don't think so....

  3. Nope. DMCA.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sorry, but some security guy trying to do anything on my computer is an attempt to bypass a security device and in violation of the DMCA. Federal law says I can't do what the federal agent says.

  4. Booting a laptop by stephens_domain · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Showing that it works does not really mean much. How much stuff could you pack into a laptop and still have it boot once? Take out the CD/DVD bay, or take out the hard drive and boot from a live CD, hollow out the PC card slot. Make a false battery and tell the agent your battery is dead so you have to use AC, etc.

    --

    ..
    1. Re:Booting a laptop by Torham · · Score: 3, Informative

      I believe Israel used a working cell phone to kill Yahya Ayyash, a member of Hamas, in 1996. Still El Al seems pretty content if you can make your digital camera turn on, but insisted on opening all the snacks i had brought.

    2. Re:Booting a laptop by Kierthos · · Score: 5, Interesting

      From Wikipedia:

      He was killed by the Israeli Shin Bet in 1996 following a massive manhunt. They were able to compromise one of Ayyash's fellow Hamas members, who gave him a cell phone full of explosives. When they confirmed Ayyash was using it, the Shin Bet detonated it, killing him instantly.

      Now, supposedly, the cell phone worked as well, and the last call he got on it was from the head of the Shin Bet, who told him "Goodbye."

      Kierthos

      --
      Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
    3. Re:Booting a laptop by KrispyKringle · · Score: 4, Insightful
      There are a couple of ways of looking at this. The first is that they use chemical sniffers (as a previous poster mentioned) to try to detect explosives, regardless of opening your device. This should be, in theory, far more accurate anyway.

      But I think the reality, disturbing as it may be, is that there are so many loopholes that they can do little more than a token effort. Remember that student who hid boxcutters on airplanes to show how insecure they still are? For that matter, if blades are a threat (and in reality, using a plane as a weapon is a far greater threat than simply blowing up the plane itself), one could easily a) get one of those nifty carbon fiber commando-style blades that don't set off metal detectors, b) hide a blade in some metal case (like a laptop chassis), c) hide a thin blade inside something metallic like a pen, d) watch James Bond movies for more inspiration.

      The point of the matter, in my opinion, is that it doesn't really matter if someone does damage to a plane or its occupants--I ride Amtrak regularly and there's no security at all--but rather the risk of someone taking over a plane. 250 casualties are certainly bad (but there are plenty of other public situations--Amtrak, for instance--in which we all face the same risk), but the real risk, as I said, is that of someone taking over a plane. And we could prevent that with a lot less effort and a lot less difficulty if we simply beefed up the cockpit doors.

    4. Re:Booting a laptop by swillden · · Score: 5, Funny

      And we could prevent that with a lot less effort and a lot less difficulty if we simply beefed up the cockpit doors.

      Or armed all of the passengers. Imagine what would happen to a terrorist who tried to take over a plane if the pilot could hit a switch and unlock a half-size baseball bat at each seat!

      Might make it hard to get the terrorists to trial, though...

      --
      Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
  5. Inconsistent rules by arth1 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I just find it strange that we're not allowed to bring a pair of pliers, but can bring a spear-like umbrella, and "safety" razor blades (which take around 2 seconds to "unsafe").

    It's even stranger that we are allowed to bring explosives like LiIon batteries... Bypass the fuse, short it, and you have a nice little bomb (as the owners of many a Nokia phone can attest to).

    --
    *Art

    1. Re:Inconsistent rules by selmer · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The one that still annoys me most is being strip-searched for the silliest items imaginable (name your favourites here), while at the same time you are allowed to bring a big bottle of tax-free alcohol. Ever considered smashing it? Way more threatening than the average pair of nailclippers.

  6. Don't take your laptop? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Most important, leave the laptop at home unless somebody's paying you to take it along--borrow friends' computers or stop in any cybercafe if you feel compelled to check your e-mail.

    Oh yeah, that's exactly why I bought a laptop: so that I can pay a cybercafe to use a computer on the road.

  7. What the? by OS24Ever · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You allowed someone to look at secure FILES on your system? What on earth made you think they had the right, or the authority for that matter, to look at FILES? They can physically inspect your system, but they do not have any right to search your laptops electronic contents.

    I've flown about 85 - 90 times this year from a base out of either Kansas City International, or Raleigh Durham International.

    I've flown to Dallas, San Francisco, Oakland, NYC Laguardia, Des Moines, IA, Orlando, Miami, Chicago, Las Vegas, and other cities and have carried even two laptops, a cell phone/pda, a iPod, and between 3 - 7 paper back books.

    At the most I've had my bag physically searched because the x-ray guy couldn't see something quite right because a few of my chargers were laying weird. I've even been told what caught them up a few times.

    I've carried a backpak full of camera equipment (digital SLR body, three lenses, battery charger, extra batteries, video camera, two microdrives, and a Powerbook G4) through multiple times on vacation and never had a single concern.

    If a screener *ever* asked to see the contents of my laptop they'd get the verbal equivalent of a polite middle finger. There is *no* way any TSA screener needs to look at the contents of anything I have that is beyond a cursory physical examination.

    --

    As a rock-in-roll Physicist once said, No matter where you go, there you are.

    1. Re:What the? by October_30th · · Score: 4, Insightful
      If a screener *ever* asked to see the contents of my laptop they'd get the verbal equivalent of a polite middle finger.

      And after that? The best case: you'd never get your boarding pass. The worst case: you'd never get your boarding pass and you'd get to spend the rest of the day getting stripsearched and interviewed by the authorities.

      --
      The owls are not what they seem
    2. Re:What the? by dr_dank · · Score: 5, Funny

      What on earth made you think they had the right, or the authority for that matter, to look at FILES?

      You never know if those pesky terrorists found a way to make a boxcutter look like an email to Mother... :)

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    3. Re:What the? by beni1207 · · Score: 3, Informative

      Don't forget the TSA screeners have the ability to ban you from flying. For life. I wouldn't risk it.

    4. Re:What the? by Stradenko · · Score: 5, Funny

      Just stick the goatse.cx guy as the background on your laptop...after seeing that a couple times, these security bozos will learn not to ask.

  8. Horror? Where? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    What is horror? I travelled from Durban to Amsterdam on september 15th, 2001, and still have pictures of every security-guard who frisked me on the way. "Make a picture, Sir. Show me its a real camera."

    Oddly, security-personell shouldn't let themselves get photographed. That's a violation of security. :P

  9. Do teddy bears count as tech stuff? by NickFitz · · Score: 4, Funny

    OT, but it is the holiday season...

    About a month ago, my brother's family flew to Florida from the UK, and my young niece's beloved teddy bear (travelling as hand baggage - she can't bear to be parted from it) had to go through the X ray machine at a US airport. The security officer in charge joked "How do you want it - medium rare, or done to a crisp?" She gave him a very hard stare...

    (Well, it tickled me.)

    --
    Using HTML in email is like putting sound effects on your phone calls. Just say <strong>no</strong>.
  10. I know I feel safer by grrr223 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    because they took my mom's sewing scissors away from her, they have blades that are about 1/2 an inch long and are used to cut thread. However, she is allowed to carry knitting needles! Why don't they just let people bring knives on with them? I just don't understand.

  11. No problems traveling here.... by M-2 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I mean, I flew, with my laptop, a week and a half after the Planes Hit, and didn't get any kind of ding from security. I've flown a bunch of times since then, and nothing. Four or five flights from Dulles in DC, and nothing at all like this.

    The worst I had was in Denver, where I hadn't realized my ID card had expired two weeks before (hey, I thought they all expired at the end of the month), and they just had me go through a secondary search. At that point, they had me boot the computer (which was easy, as I'd had it on standby instead of having to power it up), and checked my shoes.

    Since the TSA came in, I've been overall pleased with the situation - most of the people I've encountered have been pleasant, and the rest at least passable, and all of them have done their job with a minimum of stressing me out about it. While I'm not a big fan of 'add another federal agency', traveling by plane has actually gotten EASIER from Newark International since the TSA got up to speed, and I make sure to thank them for their help every time I go through.

    1. Re:No problems traveling here.... by MoTec · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I agree. Travelling with electronic gear is really not much of a hassle. I travel about every other week (just domestic in the USA) and I've not had any issues at all.

      I carry a laptop, pda, cell phone, and sometimes a digital camera and an mp3 player, all in my carry on bag, along with the power supplies, chargers and adapters for all of that. Also a CAT5 cable, phone cable, etc.

      I've got it down to an art... As I'm approaching the table I open up my backpack, put my cell phone in and take my laptop out. I also make sure my car keys and change are in the backpack.

      The backpack goes in a plastic tub all by itself - don't put anything on top of it or in the tub with it... For some reason they're picky about that. All the other electronic gear stays in my backpack. I usually take off my shoes and put them in a tub, too. That's about it.

      I've NEVER had to turn any of my electronic stuff on. Not the laptop, not the cellphone, not the PDA. Some airports might have different policies I suppose but I've been thru most of the major airports in the USA in the past three years.

      One tip... Don't be "that guy" that slows everything down. While you're waiting in line take your change out of your pockets, take off that pimp chain, take your cell phone out of your pocket... Put all that stuff in your carry on before you're at the table.

      Oh, and if you're that hot woman that went thru security in San Franciso last week wearing the studded leather jacket and no shirt or bra underneath it... By all means, forget to dress again before putting on you jacket. I know I enjoyed seeing your bare top and the stunned faces all around. I think the TSA guy enjoyed it too, even if he couldn't speak for a few minutes afterwards.

  12. It's not a weapon, it's Windows. Er, wait.... by thirty2bit · · Score: 4, Funny

    I had my laptop bluescreen once while navigating the terminal security gauntlet once. I tried explaining to the woman "Uh, it doesn't normally do that" but got a blank stare in return. Almost like a stare of... acceptance. Then I realized she had already been taken by MS.

    The funniest encounter was when my chest set off the guy's wand when getting the body scan. He got this totally locked-up look as he tried to come up with some kind of reasonable explaination.

    Guy: Uh, did you have... surgery or something... uh... pacemaker?
    Me: No, that's my nipple ring.
    Guy: (big grin, sign of relief) Oh, OK!

    1. Re:It's not a weapon, it's Windows. Er, wait.... by mcpkaaos · · Score: 3, Funny

      That's nothing. You should see the kind of fun you can have at an airport with a cucumber wrapped in tin foil.

      --
      It goes from God, to Jerry, to me.
  13. Laptop theft at airports... by i.r.id10t · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ... Apparently one of the common methods is to use a shill to slip in before you so your laptop is sitting at the other end of the x-ray machine while you are still waiting to clear. Thief then takes off with it.

    Last trip thru LAX, one of the "security" drones tried to get me to wait about 100 feet away from my work supplied laptop and other possessions, while he re-examined my shoes. Told him it wasn't gonna happen. He eventually agreed to me toting all my crap over, and then checking my shoes.

    Honestly, this whole security thing wouldn't bother me too much if it was done with any common sense - and if it actually made me feel a little more secure.

    --
    Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos
  14. Harm Xray machines do to flash memory? by GoofyBoy · · Score: 3, Interesting


    Will airport scanners do any harm to CF/SD/Memory Stick cards?

    --
    The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
  15. Gotta agree with Dave Berry here... by gaijin99 · · Score: 4, Insightful
    I've never understood the odd fixation the airport "security" corporations have with techie toys. Yes, I suppose you could hide a knife, or a small gun, or a small explosive charge, inside a laptop. However how does turning the bleeding thing on (which, as Mr. Berry points out, seems to be the whole point of many airport security types existance) proove that it doesn't contain hidden weapons? A smaller battery pack, designed for only a few minutes of life would provide ample space for concealing just about anything. Likewise replacing the CD or floppy bay with a false cover would provide a nice little hiding place for unpleasant things. Both would still leave the computer functional (at least long enough to get past Mr. Minimum Wage and bored).

    Airport security was a joke before Sep 11, and remains a joke today. At my local airport we have the same minimum wage, minimum training, minimum testing, "security" guards that we had prior to 9/11. The only difference is that now they want to make you think you're more secure so they add all sorts of obvious and invasive procedures. Show a photo ID, sure that'll stop terrorists, I'm sure they've never heard of fake IDs...

    Big surprise here: private, for profit, "security" corprations have the same priority that all private for profit corporations have. They want to make the most money by spending the least money as goal number 1. Actually providing security is, by definition, goal number 2 at the best. This isn't to say that private, for profit, corporations are bad. Its just a recognition of reality, the way corporate law works their prime goal must be making money, everything else is secondary. Real security might involve several things, but at the minimum it must involve removing the profit motive from security. Why? Because every dollar that goes into profit isn't going into *security*. I'd be happy if they started using real police officers as airport security.

    So, by all means, let's get busy not doing anything real to improve airport security, instead let's harrass the geek crowd. Not that I'm bitter or anything...

    --
    "Mission Accomplished" -- George W. Bush May 1, 2003
  16. Industrial Equipment is Worse by RapidEye · · Score: 4, Informative

    I was traveling recently for a factory acceptance test for a peice of industrial equipment. We brought our own PLC (Programmable Logic Controller) with the power supply, CPU, and a couple of I/O cards. Because this is relatively expensive and fragile equipment, we took it carry on - BIG MISTAKE!!!
    They made us unpack everything (hassle, but understandable), then they wanted us to try and turn it on and see what it did. When we tried to explain that it required a special power supply to hook into (it is 110, but not a normal plug) and even if we turned it on, without any I/O devices hooked up to the I/O cards, they would see nothing but a couple of LED lights flashing. That made them even more mad.
    We tried to show them the manuals for the stuff, hoping that would ease some fears - hah, the techno babble irritated them more.
    Fortunately, we were at the airport with lots of time to spare, so we jumped on the cell phone, called a co-worker who then rushed over and picked up the stuff. We had him run it over to a Fed-Ex station and ship it to us at the vendors. Luckily we only lost about 6 hrs of testing time and a bunch of $$$ for shiping costs, but the agrivation and irritation suffered was significant.
    Maybe if the TSA hired people with a IQ over 50, things would run a little smoother.

    --
    "Murderer? Well, that's a harsh word. I prefer to think of myself as a Mortality Technician."
    1. Re:Industrial Equipment is Worse by Johnny+Mnemonic · · Score: 4, Insightful


      Maybe if your company hired people with an IQ of over 50, things would have gone a lot smoother for the folks in line behind of you.

      I'm sorry that this is going to sound like flamebait, but you knowingly bring complicated electronics that don't work in a normal environment, and expect them to look at the product manuals to verify that they're not a bomb? What exactly does a printed manual verify, besides the fact that you have access to a laser printer?

      Next time, try carrying on nothing besides a clue. Don't bring anything that your mother wouldn't understand after 30 seconds. They have to default on the side of caution, as they should.

      --

      --
      $tar -xvf .sig.tar
  17. Re:I get these questions every year! by kfg · · Score: 3, Insightful

    What, you think they should call the plumber or something?

    I'm the general technology and science guy in my family. My formal education is in physics, so I get all the questions about black holes and stuff. I'm the computer guy, so I get to maintain everyone's computers and answer all related questions. I've worked as an automotive engineer, mananged a dealership and owned an R/C racetrack, so I get all the car questions.

    Guess what, I'm not surprised by any of this in the least. I would hardly expect them to ask, say, my 16 year old neice whose knowledge is largely limited to nail polish and Justin Timberlake.

    If you're really that uptight about being valuable to your own family they just might think all that much about you either.

    Solve the issue by removing yourself from the situation.

    KFG

  18. Randomness by mwillems · · Score: 4, Interesting

    It's mainly random idiocy. I travel 120,000 miles a year and see the same.

    - In Vancouver they want me to REMOVE batteries. In Toronto they want me to turn the equipement ON and leave the batteries connected.

    - In Toronto every first passenger boarding is searched. How long till the terrorists realise they should board as passenger 2 instead?

    - I carry at least one ham radio. Big trouble when they see it. Big antenna. So before travelling I tune the radio to a public FM broadcast station and when they ask "what is that" I say "a radio" and turn it on to that broadcast station.

    - Don't start me on the shoes.

    - No cellphones in the cabin on some flights; OK on others. Random again.

    - No cell phones while flying, I can understand. But all our PDA's and laptops with 802.11b are always on, blasting 2.4 GHz signals all across the pacific, and no-one cares.

    - The thing with the shoes.. in Orlando the security person recently told me "all those with laptop PC's must remove their shows". Huh??

    It's all very very silly but if you look respectable and smile, all is OK. I;ve never had anyone take anything and I am mr gadget: over a dozen electronics bits in my briefcase every time I travel. Actually enjoying to see the security propls sweat trying to understand what the equipment is...

    Mike

    --

    ---
    BDOS ERR ON A:>
    1. Re:Randomness by bug-eyed+monster · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Umm, the past year, I've flown quite a few times between Vancouver and Ottawa, and I haven't run into any of the things you mention. At every security check, I simply separate my electronics and they scan it for explosive residue without turning it on. That's all.

      I've never had any hassles whatsoever, and it's always been consistent. I'm definitely not white and I look quite like a would-be terrorist, so it's not like they're being discriminating. In fact I was going to post a comment about how security checks in Canada have been nice and non-intrusive.

      I wonder, have your experiences in Canada been with internal flights or flights going to the police^WUnited States?

  19. Wine glasses by JohnGrahamCumming · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I travel regularly on a large American airline. I sometimes get upgraded to First because I travel so much.

    In first class they give me a plastic knife and fork. And then they hand me two _glass_ wine glasses. I've never tried smashing one, but I assume that they are not specially hardened and therefore would be breakable and usable as a weapon.

    This seems like a bad idea.

    John.

  20. Try traveling with a CPAP by The+Llama+King · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I've got sleep apnea, and so I travel with my CPAP machine. This is a device which keeps a constant air pressure flowing in my nose, which in turn keeps the tissues in my throat open while I sleep.

    The machine looks like a very small bedside humidifier, only with an LCD screen, buttons and nobs. It also comes with a six-foot-long flex tube, a reservoir for heated water and a mask not unlike the one Dennis Hopper used in Blue Velvet.

    It's become my 2nd carry-on bag, replacing my notebook computer, which now goes in my suitcase.

    Screeners' reaction to this device has been mixed, to say the least. Some have said, "Oh yeah, that's a breathing machine. We see these those all the time." Others have asked me to assemble it and power it up, and don't appear to understand what it's for even after 3 or 4 attempts at explanation.

    It's a real hassle, however, since not traveling it and using it could result in heart attack, stroke and/or death, I put up with it.

    --
    C'mon, baby, kiss The King.
  21. Re:I call bullshit on this: by ayahner · · Score: 5, Funny
    Gonna have to say, the author of this one might have been geeking it up with the screener.

    Occasionally(!?!) you meet the geek who is SO happy to decribe his devices, that when asked, he offers WAY more information than necessary.

    "Uh, can you turn it on, please?"
    "Sure, buddy, but everything is 128-bit encrypted, and I need my secure session login keychain to get at all my mp3s I Kazaa-ed last week."
    With a puzzled expression, and shakily asks, "Uh, can you un-encrypt it, please?"
    "You mean DE-crypt it. In the business, we say DE-crypt. Lotta laymen say un-encrypt, but you really should say DE-crypt."
    "Uh, the business?"

    "Yeah!" With a big 34 year old pimply smile.

    "I'm in tech support."
  22. Re:Using CD-players onboard a plane? by defwu · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Depends on what you mean by confirmation. I have personally tested RMI/RFI on airplane electronics, and have seen noticeable interference from a running cd player in a computer. I have also seen deliberatly introduced less than random noise in a system and seen a rudder go hard over. The issue is really where the acceptable risk is. If a control surface fails due to interference at 30,000 feet, the pilot will in all likelyhood be able to compensate. If it happens while you are at 500 feet, you may end up with a controlled flight into terrain.

    --
    If at first you don't succeed, redefine 'success'
  23. Re:Laptops and Airport Security by Tenebrious1 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    In the past three months, I've been through Kennedy four times, La Guardia 2x, Newark 4x, times, Detroit, Chicago O'Hare, LAX, Tokyo Narita 4x, Singapore 2x... and never have I been asked to turn on my laptop. They never bothered me about my PDA. They checked my shoes a few times, my flip-flops a few times as well, deep searched my backpack a few times. Maybe since I was travelling business class they didn't give me as hard a time as others.

    And yet, my daypack has four steel stays that make up the frame... pretty easily removed. Surprised they let me on with it. Aluminum uprights in pullman could also be used as weapons, broken duty free bottles of whiskey... I think the "security" measures are just to give travellers the warm fuzzys, I feel they're kinda worthless considering what you can bring on the flight..

    --
    -- If god wanted me to have a sig, he'd have given me a sense of humor.
  24. Simple security solution by iiioxx · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yes, screen for obvious threats like firearms and bombs with tools like x-ray machines, dogs, and chemical sniffers. But quit harrassing everyone by trying to find every nail file, screwdriver, pocket knife, etc.

    The simple answer is: nightsticks. Issue every adult passenger a nightstick. Anybody tries something funny, there's a hundred people with hard, heavy sticks ready to pound his ass. I also expect that it should improve the service from the stewardesses. The airline could even put their logo on it, and let the passengers keep them as souveniers. It'd be good marketing!

  25. Re:Nope. DMCA.. by Mr.+Slippery · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Just do what the friggin' Mr. Security tells you to do and we'll be safer and don't have to stand in line forever.

    "If you could just step behind this curtain, sir? Pants around your ankles please. And bend over this table. This'll only take a few minutes."

    Point being, there are limits on what friggin' Mr. Security is allowed to ask you to do.

    --
    Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
    You cannot wash away blood with blood
  26. What about non-PC and non-Consumer Eq? by Saeed+al-Sahaf · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Most people here are talking about PC equipment and consumer technology. But I still remember years ago in the mid '70's when my father (an oceanographer) would travel on commercial aircraft with current meters (meters for measuring ocean data). At the time, these where a hardened metal cylinder about 10 inches in diameter and 18 inches long with some probes and a handle on top, the lid was held on with large metal clips. They still had a lot of mechanical components (for example the tape cartridge storage device that recorded the data), and occasionally would make ticking sounds. He would carry these onboard because even back in the '70's, they cost around $100,000. These days, the are yellow plastic balls full of solid state... I can not imagine being able to show TSA that these things where not bombs. I wonder about other non-consumer, non-PC electronic equipment...

    --
    "Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
  27. Re:Magic Floppy Porno Disk? by Y2 · · Score: 3, Interesting
    All your questions shall be answered by ... The Beeb Excerpt:
    "There is no pornography stored on the hard drive," I stated.

    "Do you mind if I check." she says rather than asks, and begins to take the computer out of the bag.

    "I'm just going to hook it up over there and scan the hard drive..." she continues.

    And then her face turns dour. "Oh! It's an Apple," she says, dejectedly. "Our scanner doesn't work on Apples."

    A few official words were wrenched from H.M. Customs and are record on Interesting People.
    --
    "But all your emitter and collector are belong to me!"